Stop Criticizing, Start Feedforward

If I come to you and I say, hey, the next time forward, the next time we have a meeting, can you do this? Or, hey, the next time you work on that report, can you make sure to do this? And what I find is people go, oh yeah, I can do that. Right? So I'm not criticizing. I mean, obviously there's some level of like, what you gave me last time isn't exactly what I wanted, but I'm not saying, hey, you screwed up. I'm just saying, hey, next time, Can you do it this way? And so if you— if the tough conversation is that you need someone to change their behavior or to change their output or something, try feedforward. Try putting it in the context of future behavior because people are willing to change future behavior. It is impossible for them to have change— to change the past. And that's why they get defensive and that's why they argue and that's why they get angry because they feel like you're attacking them, right? But if you and I were in a meeting together and you were talking the whole time and you wouldn't let anybody else talk, I could come to you and say, hey man, you got to shut up at meetings.

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