Understanding the Psychological Roots of Violence | How Family, Society & Mental Health Intersect

You know, I think it is a very complicated question. I do not think there is one answer. And so what I offer is from the point of view of psychology. You know, an economist would give you another set of reasons. Someone from, you know, a church might give you another set of reasons. A sociologist might tell you something different. So I do not want to say that everything I say is the only word about what accounts for the escalation of divisiveness and violence. But I think If we were going to just go to the bottom line from a psychological point of view, I would have to say that it's really the breakdown of the family and that we don't esteem families, we don't take care of families in America, they're not a priority. You know, providing adequate childcare and medical care and good education for every child and making sure every parent has a living wage and can find decent housing, safe housing. I think that's the bottom line. I think it goes out from there, but I, from my experience working with so many people over the years, what happens in the average home is not necessarily that great for most people. And especially in the economy that we have today where for most people, I don't have statistics, but for many, many people, let's say the family can't even survive unless both parents are working. So there's a lot of inadvertent neglect of children, not because even parents want to neglect their children, but they're just not there. And then we have all this social media on all these devices and the access to terrible things as well as wonderful things is just out there, you know, and so many children are just on their tablets all the time. There's a breakdown just in the value of actually relating on a one-on-one, but really, you know, And again, I just say this from a point of view of like, how can we help? Not who's to blame. But I would say, so that, that's the bottom line. I think, I think we're in desperate need of reevaluating. And I'll just say as a country, because this is the country I live in, but really as a human race, what our priorities are, because I think our priorities need to be the welfare of people, not material possessions, not certainly not weapons, not extreme, you know, power, not extreme wealth, but really what is the quality of life that our children are being brought up in and that our adults have to survive in? Because I think the stressors are so enormous, even if there's not abuse and neglect, the stressors to survive, to make a living, to have adequate housing and all the rest of the things I mentioned, are enormous for vast numbers of people. And of course, that's going to play out in their human relations. Where does our stress go? It goes to the people around us, right?

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So with that, like you say, with stress. So with that, what do you feel is the major causes for mental health?

Well, let me add something to that, which answers this question, but it also goes back to your first question. And I think because there's a certain level of emotional neglect effect going on widespread. It's not like there's just that mentally unhealthy person over there. Collectively, we're not making wise decisions for the family of America based on, you know, some of the things that I said, and there's others. So I think that what we have to look at is that for the people that come out of violence who get no help, they're either going to reenact it themselves because it's what they learned, Or the other side of that is they become very passive because they've been so overpowered that fighting back didn't do any good. And if you have more and more people who have identified with the aggressor and become aggressors, and you have more and more people without help who become passive and are resigned because they don't see a way to help themselves or protect themselves, and if we were to stop blaming both of them and know that there's a victim inside of both, but we then we have a way begin to heal. But right now we have more and more people who are addicted to power, who get off on the power and control they have over other people. And we have more and more people who, through no fault of their own, are forced to submit. And that creates an unhealthy society. And I think that's what we have. And the result is the escalation in hatred and violence and blame.

Yeah. I've been told before, when somebody is speaking the truth, there's nothing you should add or take away from what they're saying. You know, I— you said it. I, I can't even add to what you said because it's so, it's so profound to what you are saying, and it, it does resonate. And I'm sitting up here, I'm listening to you because it's— you're talking about exactly what's happening, but in a different in a different way, you know what I'm saying, than most may hear it. And I know the book has to be very, very interesting if you have all these points in there on how, you know, not just the solutions, but how we got to this point.

Exactly. And it's really an escalation. I mean, if it doesn't get interrupted in the home and it doesn't get interrupted in the community, and it's also being perpetrated from the top down, from the highest levels of authority and control, then we have a society where for many people there's no way out and they're going to become really symptomatic if your environment is unhealthy at home, if your environment is unhealthy in the world around you. And of course, you know, let me just say, and I try to say this every time I talk, there are wonderful people in America and there are thousands and thousands and thousands of people doing extraordinary good things, acts of service, generosity, philanthropy, volunteering, you know, volunteering in prisons, volunteering with disadvantaged youth, volunteering in their communities to help people grow food.