“Unleashing Greatness: Fletcher Ellingson on Overcoming Challenges and Achieving Success”

To love and to cherish.

To love and to itch. I mean, cherish.

Uh, sweetie?

For as long as we both shall live.

For as long as we both shall itch!

Sorry.

Babe, come on.

From this day forward.

Look, I'm sorry, I just can't do this itch!

If you have eczema— Michael? You know that itch is a 4-letter word. Learn about reducing that offensive eczema itch fast at 4letteritch.com. At Capella University, learning the right skills could make a difference. That's why our business programs teach you relevant skills you can take from the classroom to the workplace. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu.

Welcome to the CJ Moneyway Show podcast, the podcast show where we unlock potential one dream at a time. Today we have another guest whose journey is truly worth hearing. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the Moneyway experience.

What's up, my good people? Welcome to the CJ Moneyway Show. Today we have speaker, coach, bestselling author Fletcher Ellison. How you doing today, Fletch?

CJ, it's good to meet you, and I love the name CJ Moneyway.

Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. So Fletcher, tell us a little bit about yourself and about your background.

Yeah, so I'm a mindset coach, so I help people change the way they think, and I've been doing that for a number of years, but I haven't always been doing it. I've been an entrepreneur since I was a little kid. Started out with paper route, then the lawn route, then the washing the windows, then the manufacturing business, then a tech business. And I landed here in the coaching space, which I absolutely love because, CJ, one of the most exciting things for me is when I get to witness the transformation in other people. I think that is absolutely thrilling.

Yeah, that sounds cool, man. So Fletcher, tell us about the book that I appreciate that you gave me, The Practice of Feeling Good, man. Tell us about the book and how that came about.

Yeah. So it came out of my curriculum, the coaching course that my clients go through, which is about a 9 to 12 month coaching course. And the practice of feeling good is designed to help people feel good on demand. It's an introductory conversation into how to upgrade your thinking and start living a feel-good life. Because I don't know about you, CJ, but would you agree that most people or many people, and I would say most people are practiced at feeling terrible in life. They're practiced at feeling upset, frustrated, agitated, stressed out, anxious, fearful. I mean, that's a lot of the way people are feeling in our country. And it's not their fault, okay? It's not their fault, but it is their responsibility, right? Just like my car. If my car doesn't start in the morning, It's not my fault, but ultimately at the end of the day, it's my responsibility to deal with it. And, we just had so many ways of living that have been modeled for us that just don't feel good. And, what I want your listeners to understand is that there's another way of going through life with way less suffering, but it takes an intentional practice. We've practiced ways of being that don't feel good so much that we've mastered them. And what I want to encourage your listeners to consider is that there's a way of living that will diminish your suffering and actually feel good. Because at the end of the day, isn't that what everybody wants? They simply want to feel good.

Yeah. Yeah. I want to wake up happy every day, feeling good and refreshed for challenges and to set new goals. But like you say, it's a lot of us in society today, we we just upset. And a lot of things we upset about, we don't even know why we upset. We just frustrated and angry just because, you know.

Yes, exactly. We wake up in a funk, right? And then we start living out of that funk. So our emotional state determines the actions we take, right? If you wake up refreshed and motivated and inspired, the actions you take are going to be coming out of that emotional state. And they're gonna— those actions are gonna look very different than if you wake up depressed, lethargic, right? Then you're going to be taking actions out of that state, and they're going to look very different. And so your outcomes are going to be very different. Would you agree with that?

Yeah, I totally agree.

Yeah, yeah.

So yeah, man, that sounds good, you know, just changing the outlook. And if you can help people feel good about, you know, just life in general, then, man, I wish you Great success with this book, man, and I hope that it reaches a ton of people and that people will see the value in it and start changing for the better. Like you say, ain't no need to feel anxious and fearful every day. There's something better out there. Like you say, at the end of the day, the responsibility is ours to feel the way that we want to feel. If I want to feel good about myself, then I have to start thinking that and speaking those type of good things into my well-being, you know?

Absolutely. Yeah. Well said.

Yeah.

We have to practice speaking what it is we want into our life and how we want to feel in our life. And, you know, I got my iPhone sitting here right next to me, CJ. And, you know, on your phone, whether you got an Android phone or Apple phone or whatever, they all have an operating system. And that operating system, we upgrade it on a regular basis. You know, we get notifications on our phone. Hey, it's time to upgrade your operating system. You know? And so we put it on our charger and it upgrades that night. Or sometimes we actually upgrade the physical phone. But CJ, when's the last time that we sat down and said, oh, it's time for me to upgrade the operating system between my ears? Like, I need to upgrade the way I think.

Think.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, new mindset, you know, a renewed mind. Sometimes we got to do away with that old mindset and that old that old being, man, and it's time to be a new me, a fresher me that can go out here and be like yourself and try to make a positive impact on other people instead of being the one that has to be impacted. You need to step out of that mind frame and one help the other. So like I said, man, I hope a lot of people grab your book, man, and learn some things from it, get some value from it. So Fletcher, what inspired you to write the book?

You know what inspired me?

I mean, your program, your program. Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Your program.

What inspired me was my clients, really my clients, because working with my clients is so inspirational. I see the changes that they make, and over and over and over again. So I realized that, hey, I'm actually onto something here. There's a methodology here that's working for people. And I want to get that in front of more people so that they can also begin to live a feel-good life and learn how to upgrade their thinking and make a bigger impact in the world. Because one of the things that feels the best, what I see over and over, people feel the best when they are being a source of kindness and a source of contribution. When they're making a difference, people light up, they feel great. So let's teach people how to do that. Let's teach people how to be a source of kindness and contribution and how to navigate they're suffering. No emotions are bad. So I'm not saying it's wrong to feel upset or agitated or any of that stuff. I'm just saying we want to learn how to powerfully navigate those emotions so that we don't get stuck in them, because every emotion has an important message, right? Even anger. Anger has a very important message, right? Fear has an important— what's the message of fear? Hey, you might be in danger. Pay attention. Right? And the message of anger is, hey, something's not going the way I want it to go. Right? So, but we don't want to get stuck in those emotions. We want to be able to get the message and then navigate through.

Yeah, that's true, man. So Fletcher, you state that it's possible to create feel-good emotions on demand. How do you do that?

I love this question. And this is how you do it. CJ, do you like watching movies?

Yes, I love it. I binge-watch stuff.

You and me both. So think of a series that you've recently watched. So when you sit down to watch a movie, maybe that movie starts off with a big action sequence and you're not even eating or drinking. You're just like, your eyes are wide because you're glued to the action sequence on the screen. And if anybody, I mean, if we could hook you up to a heart rate monitor, you would see that your heart rate is actually increasing. And then after that chase scene, maybe things slow down and mellow out, and maybe there's a comedy scene, and now you're laughing and smiling. And then a few minutes later, you're on the edge of your seat 'cause there's an intense drama scene. And then later there's another scene that is, you know, maybe romantic, and you're swooning and feeling all romantic. My point is, at the end of this 2-hour movie or this 1-hour show or whatever you're watching, You've had a roller coaster full of real emotions, and those emotions are occurring as a result of what you're focused on. So, and when you consider it, all you're doing is watching a show on a screen. It's just light and sound, but your brain is translating that into a story, and your, your mind has no choice. It must create an emotional response based on what you're viewing or based on what you're thinking. So we want to take this principle of what you focus on, you feel, and apply it to your everyday life. In that 2-hour movie, you may have experienced more emotions, a greater variety of emotions than you do in a regular week, right? In that one program. So what if we began to bring intention to where we place our focus during the day. Because you see, whatever you focus on, wherever you put your focus on, your brain has no choice. It must create an emotional reaction to what you are focused on. So, at the end of the day, what I'm saying here, CJ, is that when we learn how to place our focus with intention, we can then begin to determine our emotional states on demand.

Mm.

Right?

Yeah.

Wow.

That's heavy, man.

Yeah.

So I mean, you just think of it. If I asked you to get sad, you know, I said, hey, CJ, I'm going to give you 2 minutes or even 60 seconds. I want you to get sad. What would you do in order to get sad?

Thinking of something that disappointed me or think of something that, like you said, something that I can get angry about.

Yes, exactly. See, what you immediately do is you begin watching a movie in your head. You start thinking about this thing. And like I said, the brain then has no choice. It automatically begins to create an emotion that's in alignment with where you're putting your focus. So, what the problem is, the challenge that so many of us run into is we are practiced at thinking and visualizing negative things, things that don't feel good. The people who are suffering with anxiety, they're suffering with anxiety. Why? Because the story in their head is constantly something that creates the anxiety. They're focused on something like a worst-case scenario.

To love and to cherish.

To love and to itch. I mean, cherish.

Sweetie.

For as long as we both shall live.

For as long as we both shall itch.

Sorry.

Babe, come on.

From this day forward.

Look, I'm sorry, I just can't do this itch.

If you have eczema— Michael? You know that itch is a 4-letter word. Learn about reducing that offensive eczema itch fast at 4letteritch.com. Sweetheart, what about this one?

Um, nah, fam, that's a little sus.

Shopping with teenagers can be hard between figuring out what they like and what they mean. But with Walmart, at least shopping for their next pair of glasses is easy. With the Walmart app, you can virtually try on frames at home, upload prescriptions, and get new glasses delivered right to your door. It's an easier way to get stylish glasses they'll actually like.

Now these new glasses, total vibes.

Buying new glasses has a new look. Welcome to your Walmart. Valid prescription required.

After the end of a good fight, you deserve an ice cold reward. Medela, you put in the hours, the energy, the tough labor because you know the bigger the fight, the better the reward. Medela, the mark of a fighter. Drink responsibly. Beer imported by Crown Import, Chicago, Illinois.

Is it time to reimagine your future? The right business skills may make a difference in your career. At Capella University, we offer a relevant education that's designed to focus on what you need to know in the business world. We'll teach professional skills to help you pursue your goals, like business management, strategic planning, and effective communication. And you can apply these skills right away. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu.

Or massive uncertainty. And so the body, no choice. Hey, we have to create an emotion to match the movie in your head.

Mm.

I get that now. I get it now. Like you say, like, if I'm watching a movie and with the character, so it may be some characters in there or whatever. But then I might start feeling a certain type of way about this character, the way that they, you know what I'm saying, portraying the role or things of that nature. So I get it. Your mind start formulating emotions on how you feel about what you're watching or what you're doing.

Exactly. And even though this movie is fictitious, it's not real, right? It's just a movie. It's just light on a screen. Your brain can't tell the difference between what's what is real and what is not real. It simply reacts to wherever you put your focus.

Mm, that's a good one, man. That's a good one. I'm gonna have to ponder on that one. That's— I never thought about that. So, Fletch, what do you think stops most people from realizing their goals and their dreams? Mm-hmm.

The thing that stops most people from realizing their goals and dreams is the story that they're telling themselves in their head. For instance, I can't do that. I'm too old. Oh, I don't have enough education to do that. Or I'm too gay. I'm too straight. I'm too black. I'm too white. I'm too whatever, whatever the story is. I'm too thin. I'm too fat. I'm, I'm, I don't have enough money. It's the story that prevents us from taking action. Because now this is a great follow-up question to what we were just talking about. See, with the story, wherever you put your focus, your mind's going to create an emotional reaction. And if that emotion is lethargic or disappointed or like a victimhood, then you take actions out of that. So people have all sorts of dreams and ambitions. Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But what stops them when you ask them, if they really share with you, you're going to find out they're stopped because they don't believe that they can do it. And that statement is simply a story. They believe they're missing something. I used to think that, oh, I'm just so average. I don't have what it takes. And I honestly believe that I don't have what it takes to run or compete in a triathlon. For years, my friends used to try to get me to join them in their triathlons. And I was like, "You guys, you don't understand. I can't swim. I don't know how to ride a bike like that. And I certainly can't run that far." And they're like, "Fletcher, you can't right now, but you'll learn how." "No, no, no, you don't understand. I don't have it within me." And I'd get frustrated. I'd get frustrated because I was actually envious of their abilities. And I was frustrated because I actually didn't believe that I could do it. I didn't believe that I had it within me. I thought I was deficient, missing something. And here I am. There was nothing wrong with me. I had all my limbs. I can move, right? I got great physicality. But in my mind, I had a different story. I lack what it takes. And finally, years after them asking me to do it, because I envied what they were doing so much, and I just said, I want to do it so badly, I'm going to go for it. And then I got around people who were doing it. They had the outcomes. They knew how to do it. They took the time. They were patient with me. They trained me how to swim, how to ride, how to run. And then I began completing triathlons. And guess what, CJ? After I completed my first one, something shifted. And what shifted was my story. I know I couldn't go back to my old story. My old story was, I don't have it within me. It's not possible for me. I couldn't even go back there because I had so much evidence now that I do have what it takes. I can do it. Yeah, right. So, our story matters. The language that we use to talk and explain things, it matters. So, we want to become really quite intentional about our story and the language that we're using.

Don't miss out on CJ Moneyway Johnson's book, Both Eyes Open and Both Eyes Shut. And get ready to preorder his upcoming release, The Issues of Life, coming soon. Moneyway, aiming to inspire.

Mm. Yeah, I like that, man. You know, like you say, no, I can't do that. That's not in me. That's not my lane. That's not, you know, what I do. But you really don't know what you can do unless you actually try to do it.

Exactly.

So, yeah, yeah. So we got to quit. So in other words, I'm making excuses and using a crutch on what I can't do. And so in hindsight, some of the goals and some of the dreams that I have, I'm really denying myself because I'm not even trying to put forth, you know, how you got— I'm talking myself down from actually realizing that I can accomplish some of the dreams and goals that I have set forth for myself.

You got it. And in fact, yeah, I was using my energy to argue for my limitations instead of building myself up, right?

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I was downplaying, you know, what was inside of me. So Fletcher, what is the source of empowerment?

Yeah, good question. I love this one because when we get the core of this next distinction, it is powerful. So a lot of people want to feel empowered. We all want to feel empowered, don't we? None of us, we don't want to feel, we don't want to feel disempowered. But the fact is that most people literally feel disempowered in their life. They might feel disempowered with their relationship to money. They might feel disempowered around their health and vitality. They might feel disempowered in their marriage or their career, right? And that doesn't feel good when we're feeling disempowered. So, we gotta, if we wanna begin to feel empowered in life, we have to understand the source of empowerment. Where does, how do we create empowerment? And there's only one way to do it. And this is such a game changer. The only time that we can feel empowered in life is when we are taking responsibility for the commitments that we have made. It is in the, it is in the taking responsibility for the commitments where we get to feel empowered. I'm not even talking about the accomplishments, right? The accomplishments are separate. Don't we know a lot of people who are very accomplished, but they don't actually feel great about themselves?

Yeah, right.

They don't feel successful because success and accomplishment are two completely different things. Would you agree that you can be a successful person even if you don't have a bunch of accomplishments?

Yeah, yeah, you can. Right.

But, and yet we know people who have been highly accomplished, actors, athletes, musicians who are extremely accomplished and then they kill themselves.

Yeah.

Because they didn't feel successful. They were accomplished, but they didn't feel successful. So, let's get back to empowerment. Empowerment occurs as an experience that you experience. When you take responsibility for your commitments. So now check this out. Let's reverse engineer this. So that means if you are feeling disempowered in any area of your life, it's because of one reason only. You're not taking responsibility for the commitments in that area of your life, or you don't— you've not made any commitments so that you can take responsibility for them. See, when I was make— when I got into triathlons, it wasn't crossing the finish line. That's not where I felt empowered. That was a wonderful achievement. It felt good. But the empowerment came— the empowerment that I began to feel was happening the months prior to the race as I was training for it, as I was taking action and taking responsibility for the commitments I've made, which were to get up, to run, to swim, to bike, whatever it was. It was taking responsibility for those commitments. That's where the empowerment comes from. The accomplishment, that was the icing on the cake.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I think one thing for sure, like you say, the responsibility and accountability for what you set forth, I think that's the hardest thing for us as individuals, period, is just taking accountability for anything, for any of your actions, you know, and to get to where you're talking about, for the empowerment, to take responsibility for your empowerment. There are so many layers of that that we can go into and talk about. The accountability, man, just in self is just so vital and so important to move forward in life. Like you say, it's personal growth, and empowerment, we have to take accountability for the things and our actions that, you know, we do. But a lot of times we don't want to take the accountability for it, man.

Totally agree with you.

Yeah. So Fletcher, what— why do you think experiencing rejection is important?

Yeah, why do I think experiencing rejection is important because rejection is one of the big fears that we have. We are so afraid of being rejected. And remember, we take action based out of our emotions. So if I am afraid of being rejected, I'm— the actions I take are not going to be authentic. They're going to be reactionary. I'm going to be acting in a way that is inauthentic so that I don't get rejected, because fear is a pretty terrifying emotion. Right. And we do anything to avoid that. And I used to do a lot of sales, and one of the things that salespeople come up against over and over and over is a fear of rejection. Right. Hearing no. And no might be the polite way of saying it, but people don't like rejection, and so they'll do anything to avoid it. Yeah, but then you start living a very inauthentic and shallow and small life. So what I did was I took on a year of rejection experiments where I put myself in situations and I made audacious and bold requests of people with the intention of being told no. I wanted my questions to be and my requests to be so ridiculous and bold and audacious that people would absolutely say, "Hell no." Right? Right? And so, what I learned through that experiment was that number one, when people do reject you, they're not rejecting you, they're rejecting the offer. They're just rejecting what you're— the request. It doesn't mean anything about you. Okay. Now, the other thing that was— that I did not expect out of this year-long experiment was when I made these requests and they were ridiculous requests, EJ, people said yes way more than they said no. So I was trying to get rejected, but they— when they were just saying yes to these crazy requests. So, what I learned was people are likely to say yes, even when you think they're going to say no. And if that's the case, then something really cool, what if I just begin asking for what I want in life? Because more than not, people say yes.

Mm, that's a good one. That's crazy. You try to get rejected, but then you get more— it showed you something more on the positive side than, you know, say what you was expecting. Then the light bulb came in, like, wait a minute, if I'm trying to get rejected and people saying yes, then let me go out and do something where people, you know, that I want to do.

I, I heard—

yes, something that I want to do and what I really want. Since I'm getting more acceptance than I am rejections, why not go for it all?

Exactly. I mean, that's how I got my television show. I host a regional television show in the area that I live, and I've been doing it for about 5 years, and I love it. It's a lot of fun. I get to interview people who are doing cool things in the community, right? And it airs into people's homes 7 days a week and into businesses and stuff. And how I got that was part of the rejection experiment. I was interviewed on a local television show, and while I was doing it, I was like, it'd be really fun to have my own TV show. But I don't have any experience though doing that. But I said, who cares? I'm going to make the request. So, I made the request thinking I was going to be told no. And they sat down with me, took the meeting, and they're like, hey, this sounds like a really good idea. Let's do it.

Oh man.

So 5 years later, I've been having a blast with that and got to meet all sorts of fun people. Why? Because I risked my significance. I risked being told no. And as a result, I got told yes.

Man, that's pretty cool, man. Yeah, you already know that was one of the answers that I was going to ask you about your television show. But on that note, since we almost through, I'm about to wrap it up. You're also a professional music— uh, uh, not musician, magician. Yeah, magician.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So how's that like, man?

Oh, that's been such a wonderful gift, uh, in my life. Um, I've been a professional magician for about 35 years. I started in high school, um, and, uh, you know, really blossomed in college and I used to be one of those guys down there on the big city street corners with the table and the cups and the cards and doing magic for tips in my hat. And, it was such a great way to hone my craft because you'd have a new audience every 10 minutes, right? But, I love magic. I love to be fooled and I love just playing with people because to me, magic is Like, it's like adults playing like we were little kids, like where we're pretending, right? Like, well, I'm pretending I'm the wizard. And what's so great about magic is that there's this moment in magic when the trick is revealed, I mean, sorry, not revealed, when it's finished, like, you know, you find their card or you find the ball or whatever it is, and people can't figure out how it was done. And this is such a rare moment for adults because we're used to figuring out everything. We're used, we're used to very few surprises. Nothing surprises us. We know how it's all done. So to see something close up or have it in your hand and not have any explanation for how it was done, it, it, you know, it confounds the brain. And so what's the one thing that most people say after they— you do a, a really good trick? Oh my gosh, how did you do that? Right?

Yeah.

Because the brain cannot figure out, it can't reconstruct what happened. Yeah. And so that moment of awe, that experience of pure awe is so rare for adults. And that's really why I love magic so much.

Nah, that's cool, man. That's cool. So you touched on it a little bit earlier. So just finish us off with your, How can someone access your course?

Yeah, you bet. So, you go to my website, FletcherEllingson.com or ThePracticeOfFeelingGood.com. It'll take you— either one will take you to the same place and then contact me from there. And, if you want to grab a copy of my book, "The Practice of Feeling Good," go to either— yep, there you go. You got it. You can go to my website or just go to Amazon.com. Type in "The Practice of Feeling Good," grab a copy of my book. And, there's a little gift in the book too, so you'll discover that. And, if you email me, I'll send you a cool gift at no charge as well. And, CJ, if any of your listeners in the United States want to get it, obviously you can go to Amazon, but for one of your listeners, if you email me, fletcher@fletcherellingson.com and reference CJ Moneyway, I will send you a free copy of my book.

Wow, I appreciate that, man. Appreciate it. Hey, I just looked at this too, man. Thanks for signing it, man. Personal, uh, absolutely personal message, man. Appreciate it. So, Fletch, how can people follow you, man? Are you on social media?

Yeah, you know, I don't do a lot there. I mainly on Facebook and do some Instagram, but yeah, you can interface with me there too.

Okay. Any last words you have to say, man, before we leave?

Yeah. Pay attention to your story and pay attention to the language you are speaking into this physical space because it's constantly creating your reality.

Mm.

That's one to grow on. Hey, you have been listening to the CJ Moneyway Show. With my man Fletcher Ellison. Go grab the book, The Practice of Feeling Good, on amazon.com. You can go to his website. Hey, this is your boy CJ Moneyway. We outta here. Peace.

Thank you for listening to the CJ Moneyway Show. Don't forget to share this episode with your friends, leave a comment, and drop a review. Be sure to tune in every Tuesday and Friday for more inspiring journeys. Who knows, your story might be next.

To love and to cherish.

To love and to itch. I mean, cherish.

Uh, sweetie?

For as long as we both shall live.

For as long as we both shall itch.

Sorry.

Babe, come on.

From this day forward—

Look, I'm sorry, I just can't do this itch.

If you have eczema— Michael! You know that itch is a 4-letter word. Learn about reducing that offensive eczema itch fast at 4letteritch.com. Sweetheart, what about this one?

Um, nah fam, that's a little sus.

Shopping with teenagers can be hard. Between figuring out what they like and what they mean. But with Walmart, at least shopping for their next pair of glasses is easy. With the Walmart app, you can virtually try on frames at home, upload prescriptions, and get new glasses delivered right to your door. It's an easier way to get stylish glasses they'll actually like.

Now these new glasses, total vibes.

Buying new glasses has a new look. Welcome to your Walmart. Valid prescription required.

If your day sounds like—

We need the report ASAP.

You deserve Modelo. If you've persevered through, you deserve this rich golden lager with a crisp, refreshing taste. Or if you overcame—

2 more reps, 2 more!

You deserve this ice-cold reward. Modelo. Remarkable fighter. Drink responsibly. Beer imported by Crown Import Chicago, Illinois.

At Capella University, learning the right skills could make a difference. That's why our business programs teach you relevant skills you can take from the course room to the workplace. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu.

Hey everybody, I'm Trevor Sikama, host of the PFF NFL Show, here to tell you what you can find on all of our shows throughout the week. On Mondays, we have the great Release Show where myself and Dalton Washman break down every single game that you just saw in the NFL. On Tuesdays, we have the Quarterback Breakdown with Seth Gallina. On Wednesdays, we've got the Rookie Review with John Ledyard and the preview for the upcoming week in the NFL. So make sure you are subscribed to the PFF NFL Show wherever you get your podcasts.