16 Things Everybody Should Know How to Do

Nobody teaches you how to actually be an adult. You can get a degree from a great university, land a solid job, earn a decent living, and still not know how to apologize without making it worse, or remember someone's name 60 seconds after they tell you, or read a contract before you sign it. We obsess over credentials, but we neglect competence. In an age of AI, automation, and algorithm, knowledge isn't scarce— capability is. So I built the list I wish someone had given me earlier. 16 things every functional adult should know how to do. Now, some of these might feel a little bit obvious until you ask yourself whether you can actually do them. We start with the hardest place to look, yourself, because every other skill on this list breaks down if you haven't handled what's happening on the inside first. Part 1. Handle yourself. Number 1, apologize properly. You're gonna screw up. I'm gonna screw up, which means we're going to have to apologize, and I don't want you screwing up that too. In a good apology, you should do 3 things. First, feel it. Show regret. Begin with, I'm sorry. Say specifically what you did, why it was wrong, and how you wish you made a better decision. Number 2, own it. You can explain a little if it offers context, but otherwise, no deflection, no excuses. Take full responsibility. Number 3, repair it. Offer to fix the mess you made. Concrete steps to mitigate the harm. Research shows that's one of the most powerful ways to restore trust, and common sense says you can strengthen the relationship if you make the situation better than it was before the I'm sorry I missed the deadline. I should have kept my word, and I know that delayed your project. That's 100% on me. How can I make it right? And whatever you do, don't say but. I'm sorry, but is not an apology. And for the love of all that is holy, do not say— I'm sorry you feel that way. That's not an apology. That's an insult. Adults apologize, children defend. And if you can do this well, You won't just fix mistakes, you'll strengthen relationships. Knowing when to take responsibility is one skill. Knowing when to draw a line is a completely different one, and most people aren't very good at it. Which leads to the second thing everyone should know how to do: say no. One of life's quiet superpowers is knowing when to say no. Most of us are decent at saying yes, but we struggle with no. Here's what the research shows: we dramatically overestimate how disappointed people will be when we decline a request. In other words, we imagine a backlash that rarely comes. So here's the right way to say no. Be clear. Start unambiguously. No, I can't do that. Sorry, I'm not available. Don't hem, don't haw. Leave no room for doubt. Don't say, I'll think about it, when you know you won't. Be brief. Lengthy explanations invite negotiation. Be warm. Try to go a bit further Further and inject positive sentiment into your negative response. Thanks so much for thinking of me. The conference sounds great. I hope it's a huge success. Remember, boundaries are not hostility. They're clarity. If you don't protect your time, someone else will spend it for you. So you've got to know now the one nobody talks about, and it might be the smallest thing on the list, but it quietly signals more about your confidence. Than almost anything else you can do. The third thing you should know how to do: handle compliments. When someone says, great job, don't swat it away. Don't say, oh, it was nothing. Don't deflect so hard that it becomes awkward. Just say, thank you. Minimizing praise reduces its impact on both you and the giver. So receive the compliment, let it land, and move on. And give more compliments. Research by Vanessa Bonds at Cornell shows that we underestimate how much people appreciate compliments and overestimate how awkward giving them will be. So here's how to give compliments properly. First, show respect and be on point. The example she offers is don't come up to someone after a presentation and compliment them on their haircut. Second, don't stress about getting it perfect. Showing warmth is more important than finding the ideal words. Third, Do it more. It boosts the moods of others and yourself. Connection matters, but so does the opposite. The 4th thing you should know how to do: be alone. Humans are social, but sometimes life involves solitude. So don't freak out when you're alone, and don't grab your phone every 45 seconds to alleviate the discomfort. Relish it. Enjoy it. Solitude isn't loneliness, it's maintenance. Research suggests that people who approach solitude intentionally rather than resisting it, experience greater creativity and well-being. So here's a small challenge: in the next 90 days, go out for a meal by yourself. No phone, no distraction, just you. Nobody is judging you. Nobody is watching you. Learning to be alone with yourself is one of adulthood's quiet freedoms. The 5th thing you should know how to do: calm yourself down. I get it. Life is stressful. Life is always stressful. That's the baseline. So you need one reliable way to calm yourself down. Maybe it's a 10-minute walk. Maybe it's writing the angry email and not sending it. For me, it's something called the psychological sigh. Here's how it works. Take a long, deep breath through your nose and hold it. At the top of the breath, take a second sip of air and hold that too. Then breathe all the air out. out through your mouth. Do it 3 times, and research shows it can effectively reduce autonomic arousal and help you deal with high-stress situations. Adults who can't regulate their reactions eventually pay for it. So tackle your stress before it tackles you. Now, on to part 2: how to handle other people. Inside work done. Now the harder part: other people. 4 skills. One of them will genuinely surprise you. The 6th thing you should know how to do: remember people's names. Have you ever met someone and then 60 seconds later totally forgotten their name? Or met someone at a meeting one week and then seen them the following week and avoid saying their name because it slipped your mind? We've all done it. But remembering names isn't a memory problem. It's a system problem. So here's a 3-step system for doing it better. Number 1: pay attention. This is where most people fail. When you meet someone, don't think about what you're going to say next. Listen to their name like you're going to get quizzed on it, because you might. Number 2, repeat it. Nice to meet you, Fernando. Hi, Sally. Good to see you. You've heard this before. You just don't do it enough. Number 3, personalize it. And this is really important. Say something about their name. Thomas, do you prefer that to Tom? Debbie, oh, do you spell it with a Y? Or an IE. Horace. Oh, like Horace Greeley. That tiny extra step moves the name from short-term memory to long-term memory. Once you do this 3-step process a few times, it will become a habit. And once it becomes a habit, you will be more effective. As Dale Carnegie told us last century, the sweetest sound in any language is a person's name. A name gets you in the door. The next skill keeps you in the room. And it's more valuable than almost anything else you can bring to a conversation. The 7th thing everyone should know how to do: ask good questions. This one's a twofer. It'll help you be more effective on the job and help you connect more deeply with others. For a long time, the smartest person in the room was the one with the best answers. That's changing. AI has made right answers a commodity, which means that good questions are now the scarce resource. And a simple way to ask good questions is to widen your focus with these phrases: What if? Why does? How about? Why not? When answers get cheap, curiosity becomes priceless. But it's also valuable in your personal relations. Across a range of studies, scholars have found that people who ask questions were rated as more likable. In speed dating studies, question askers were even more likely to get a second date. And the best kind of question of all? The follow-up. Someone says, I'm on a new project. You say, what's been the toughest part? Someone says, I just got back from vacation. You say, what surprised you the most? Follow-up questions signal something rare: that you're listening. Questions are how we learn. Questions are how we connect. Questions are how we grow. Now, here's one that I made sure I taught my kids. The 8th thing you should know how to do: be a decent listener. guest. If you ask good questions, people might invite you over. But now you have another responsibility: to be a good guest. Now, this isn't complicated, but it's amazing how often people miss it. Here are the basics. Show up when you say you will. Be on time. Do not cancel at the last minute unless you're in a coma. Bring something small, nothing expensive. Thoughtful and personal beats fancy And elaborate. Eat right. Tell your host well in advance if you're gluten-free or a vegan or eat only Cheetos. And when you're served something, eat it with gusto. And if you're feeling it, ask for seconds. That makes hosts feel great. Offer to help. Clear your plate, make your bed, stack dishes. Say thank you. The next day, a short note, a quick call, nothing big, but it matters. These behaviors seem small, They're not. Small courtesies build social trust, and trust is the invisible currency of adulthood. Part 3, handle your money and decisions. The 9th thing everyone should know how to do, understand basic financial principles. You don't need to be a financial genius, but you do need to understand 3 ideas. Number 1, compounding. Compounding might sound a little boring, but it's magical. One of the most powerful forces in the universe. At an 8% annual return, money doubles roughly every 9 years. Compounding works for you when you invest early. It works against you when you carry 20% credit card debt. So automate your savings, take the 401 match and watch your money accrue. Pay off high-interest debt as fast as you can. Future you will be grateful for current you's financial Number 2, opportunity cost. Every yes is a no. Every dollar or euro or rupee you spend on one thing is a dollar, rupee, or euro you're not spending on something else. Every hour spent one way is an hour not spent another way. The most effective people I know have an exquisite understanding of opportunity cost. They don't just ask, can I afford this? They ask, What am I giving up? It's one of life's most important questions. And number 3, net worth. Net worth is simple. What you own minus what you owe. It's just as important, sometimes more important than income. Don't obsess over it, especially early in your career, but know that it matters and keep track of it. But here's what matters even more. Your most valuable asset isn't in your brokerage account. It's your skills, your talent, your capability. If those keep rising, So will your wealth. Get these concepts locked into your mind and to your behavior, and you'll be ahead of most people. Now, the second thing everybody should know about money: read contracts before signing it. This is true for employment agreements, leases, insurance policies, gym memberships, anything. Read all of it, not just the headlines. The definitions in front, the clauses in the middle, the exceptions in the back. Contracts aren't written for when things go right. They're written for when things go wrong. And they're usually drafted to protect the side that wrote it. So look for things like this: term length, exit clauses, automatic renewals, hidden fees, cancellation policies, non-compete clauses, fee escalators, indemnification, termination provisions. If you don't understand these things fully, don't shrug it off. Consult your legal BFF— AI. Try this prompt on your next contract: Act as an astute lawyer. Read this contract carefully. Explain its key provisions in clear language that a first-year university student would understand. Flag any clauses that create financial risk, restrict my rights, shift liability toward me, or lock me in unfavorable terms. Identify vague or one-sided language, then suggest specific revisions that would better protect my interests. Also, list any questions I should ask before signing. 10 minutes of attention can save you years. Part 4, the real world. Strategic layer done. Now the physical world. Finally, my favorite part. Pipes still leak. Hearts still stop. Bottles still need opening. The next skills are the ones you hope you never need until the day you really do. The 11th thing everyone should know how to do, swim. If you don't know how to swim already, please learn. Drowning is one of the leading causes of accidental death worldwide. You don't need perfect form. You just need competence. And you can learn at any age. The 12th thing everyone should know how to do: perform CPR. Because one day someone might collapse. Everyone else freezes. You don't. Call for help first. Push hard and fast, about 100 to 120 compressions per minute. The American Heart Association reports that immediate CPR can double or triple survival rates after cardiac arrest. You may never need this, but if you do, you can save a life. This next one is not life and death, but it can still make a world of difference. The 13th thing you should know how to do: fix something small. My recommendation: start with a toilet. Before you call a professional, open the tank, look at how it works, maybe watch a video, understand it. If it's stopped up, take a plunger and Try to fix it. 10 minutes of curiosity can save you a service call, and more important, it builds agency. When you learn to fix small things, you stop feeling helpless in the face of broken things. That confidence spills into other parts of your life. The 14th thing everyone should know how to do: turn a screw or bolt. If you don't know these 4 words, learn them now. Now they'll save you time and grief. Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Turn it right to tighten, turn it left to loosen. Knowing which direction to turn something sounds trivial. It isn't. Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Civilization depends on this. Number 15: Cook 3 reliable meals. You don't need to be a top chef, but your life will be smoother if you can confidently and competently cook 3 things: eggs, One good pasta, a roast chicken or a great burger, and a real salad with actual dressing. Cooking is independence. If you can cook, you can host. You can nourish yourself. You can take care of someone else. That's not about food. That's about capability. The 16th thing you should know how to do: open a bottle of wine. At some point in your life, someone will slide you a bottle of wine and an opener. Don't panic. Here's what you do. You insert the corkscrew in the center like this. Watch. Turn, turn, turn. Then you lift up once. Then you lift up twice. Done. You don't need to know the terroir. You don't need to know the vintage. You just need to be useful. Competence in small rituals signals something powerful. I can contribute. Now, I promised 16 skills, but I have a bonus. One final skill to wrap things up. The 17th thing everyone should know how to do. Ask for help. Independence is how we open bottles, but interdependence is how we survive. At some point, you will be stuck, confused, overwhelmed, out of your depth. If you can't do it yourself, ask. Just ask. Not vaguely. Specifically. Can you help me think this through? What would you do in my position? Research shows people are far more willing to help than we assume and often feel honored when asked. Asking for help isn't weakness. It's good judgment. And good judgment can turn knowledge into wisdom. That's it. 16 skills, plus one more that might matter most. Handle yourself. Handle other people. Handle money. Handle the real world. If you can do most of these, you're ahead. If you can't, Good news, every single one is learnable. Pick the one that made you flinch and start this week, because competence isn't flashy, but over time it becomes character.