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When someone brings you a problem, say "tell me more" instead of jumping in with answers. The three words gather information, show you're listening, and often defuse anger so the other person can solve it themselves.
When someone brings you a problem, say "tell me more" instead of jumping in with answers. The three words gather information, show you're listening, and often defuse anger so the other person can solve it themselves.
Today I want to tell you 3 words that can help you respond more adroitly to complications, confusions, and complaints. I learned these 3 words separately from 2 great writers, Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict, and Dan Coyle, author of The Culture Code. Now, when people come to us with a problem or a grievance, our instinct is to respond immediately with an answer, with a solution, with an explanation, with a justification, With a defense. And what Amanda and Dan tell us is that that might not be optimal. Instead, a better approach is simply to utter 3 words: tell me more. Obviously, you learn more, you gather more information, you hear someone else's perspective, you get a new look at the overall context of the situation that you're in. The second reason this is effective is that it's clear that you are Listening. And that's important. Why? Yeah, people want answers, people want solutions, but we also want to be heard. And when you say, tell me more, it's clear that you want them to be heard. And when people feel heard, a lot of times the anger and resentment can dissipate. A lot of times in talking it through, people come to a solution on their own. So the next time you're in a challenging situation, Resist the temptation to jump in. Instead, jump back.
