Self-esteem is often inflated and disconnected from real achievement. Psychologist Kristin Neff proposes self-compassion instead: treat yourself with the kindness you'd give a friend, and recognize that mistakes are normal, not shameful.
Self-esteem is totally overrated, especially when it's unhinged from any real accomplishment. Now, self-criticism, I love self-criticism. There's just not a lot of evidence that it's very effective. The middle way is something known as self-compassion, a term pioneered by Kristin Neff, who's a psychologist at the University of Texas in the US. But here's what it says: treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt. The reason your friends wanna boost their self-esteem is that if they actually heard their self-talk, it would be lacerating and vicious. The way we talk to ourselves Is so brutal and so cruel, we would never talk to anybody out— anybody that way, right? Treat yourself with kindness rather than contempt. Treat yourself with the same kindness you treat somebody else. Recognize that your mistakes and missteps are part of the human condition, and also recognize that any single mistake or misstep is a moment in your life
