When power goes up, the ability to understand others goes down. Leaders should dial down authority and ask specific questions about what employees actually need. Employees should frame ideas around what makes their boss's life easier: saving time, hitting goals, improving performance.
One skill separates great communicators from average ones: perspective-taking. But most people do it wrong. Here's how to get it right, especially if you lead or want to be heard. Let's start with power. You're the boss. You're trying to convince someone on your team— let's say her name is Maria— to change course. She pushes back. Your instinct? Assert your authority. Big mistake. The research shows the more powerful you feel, the worse your perspective-taking becomes. Power narrows your view. Understanding shrinks. So what should you do? Dial your power down just briefly. Remind yourself, you know, Maria has power too. I need her buy-in. She might see something I don't. From that mindset, ask, what does she see that I'm missing? What might be in her way? What would a win-win actually look like? Now flip it. You're the employee trying to persuade your boss. You're nervous. It's high stakes. Do you lean into emotion? No. Drop the feelings, focus on their interests. Ask, will this save them time? Will this improve their performance? Will this help them hit their goals? Make it about their world, not yours. That's the key to managing up. Be the person who makes your boss's life easier.
