When you describe someone as generous or dramatic, people unconsciously attribute those same traits to you. Research shows this spontaneous trait transference works for any quality you assign to others. So if you want people to see you positively, talk about others' strengths instead of criticizing them.
When you call someone else lazy, people think you're lazy. It's called spontaneous trait transference. When you describe someone, good or bad, your brain unconsciously attaches those same traits to you. You say, Sarah is so generous. People listening don't just think Sarah is generous, they think you are too. You say, Mike is always so dramatic. Guess what people associate with you now? Drama. Researchers found that whatever qualities you assign to others, listeners unconsciously transfer some of them back to you. Your words about them become their assumptions about you. So stop talking about how incompetent your coworkers are. People won't think less of them. They'll think less of you. Start highlighting what's impressive about people around you and watch how quickly people see you as impressive. You don't control how people see you by talking about yourself. You control it by how you speak to everyone else. Speak positively, attract positivity. Speak critically, become the critic.
