A general calls his troops to a final battle, but three soldiers refuse: one is sick, one is lovesick, one wants to claim land first. Each tells the trumpet boy to give their regards to the general instead of showing up. The general's response: they should have given their best to him directly, not made excuses.
Chapters
It was early in the morning and the general had called the troops together. It wasn't even dawn yet and they were lined up, they were all suited up and they were all standing ready to fight. The general stood in front of his army and he said to them, "Today is the day that we've been waiting for. We have known for many, many days that each battle we fought was just another battle toward the end of the war, but today I believe Today is the battle ender. Today is the final fight. And we, as we go over this mountain, and as we go down into the valley on the other side, and we begin to fight, I believe with this victory the war will end. And then he turned to his trumpet, his trumpet boy, and he said, "I want you to play the call to arms in the camp, because I don't think all the men are here." Because the reports had come in and there were definitely a few men missing. And he said, "Well, General, I've already played it." played it many times. Everyone should have heard. Well, I've had the reports come in from all the separate squad leaders, and there are a few men missing. Everyone needs to be here. This is the day of victory. And so the trumpet boy went back to the first row of tents, and he blew his trumpet at the head of the row of tents. Boop boop boop! The call to arms. And then he walked down to the other end of the camp, ran down to the other end, and stood at the other corner and blew it again. Boop boop boop! And then to the other corner and the other corner and then watched. But no one seemed to be coming out of the tents. And he thought to himself, "Well, the General's never wrong, so I'll just walk by the tents and listen." And so as he was walking by listening, he heard something strange coming from one of the tents. Well, not strange, he knew the sound. It was a cough. Khoo-khoo-khoo. Oh. Khoo-khoo. And he got closer, he found out which tent it was, he pulled the flap aside. And he was just a boy, but he thought, this is the one time that I need to be authoritative for my general. And he said, "Suit up, soldier! The general calls!" He said, "Ugh, I have such a bad cold. I wouldn't be any use to the general today. I can't fight like this. I can barely get out of bed. I tried, I got up and I started to put the clothes on, and I just, I had to lay back down. Just give my best to the general." Okay. And so he left the tent and began walking further, and as he was walking he heard something coming from another tent. This time it was a more odd sound that you didn't usually hear coming from a tent of a soldier. It sounded like he was crying. And he listened, and he got closer, and sure enough, "Oh, oh, my dearest love." He pulled across the flap and he looked inside. And there sat the soldier in his boxer shorts and his t-shirt, with a piece of paper out on his desk and tears streaming down his face. "I fear I shall never see you again. The general says that today is the last battle, but I believe he's telling us this because he's sure that today many of us will die. And he's trying to give us courage, but I am lacking courage." "Oh!" And the boy says, "Suit up, soldier! The general calls!" "I'm a mess! I can't go out and fight like this! Look at me! I'm in no condition to fight! Go tell the general that I'm sorry, but I just can't come." "All right." And as he's starting to shut the flap and leave, "Oh!" Young man? Yes? Give my best to the General. Okay. And he continued walking back, and he was almost back, and then he heard something very strange indeed coming from a tent. And it sounded like singing. He thought, how could there be a soldier singing? What could his excuse possibly be? And he pulled across the flap, and as he started to pull open the flap, he heard, you are so beautiful to me. What's going on? Surely he's heard the trumpet blast. Surely he's heard the call to arms. And he pulls open the flap, and there standing in front of the shaving mirror is a soldier dressed not in his battle fatigues, but dressed instead in nice hiking gear. He's got on a nice pair of khaki shorts and a button-up shirt, and he's got on his hat, and he looks like somebody who's going out for a stroll. And he's looking in the shaving mirror, shaving, going, You are so beautiful to me. Mm-hmm. Looking good. And then he sees the boy. Can I help you? Suit up, soldier. The general calls. General Schmenrell. He's always calling. He has some idea. He's always got plans. You know what? I went out. You think you're up early. I went out. Earlier than you did. In fact, it was yesterday. While you guys were all getting ready and setting up camp and stuff, I went out and I looked at the enemy. And you know what? The general's right. It's a tiny little army. You guys are going to take them and the war's going to be over. Well, why don't you want to come? Why don't you want to fight? You could be involved with that. Because as I was looking at the enemy, I noticed just a lovely spot. And it just has this little stream running through it, and there's this little knoll that kind of comes down. And I'm just thinking for my missus, I just want to build a house on that knoll. Little bridge over the little stream, picket fence around the house. So I'm just going to go over there and take my flag, and I'm just going to mark it out because I believe that we're going to win today. And so I'm just going over to claim that land. Um, but we haven't won the fight yet. Ah, but we will. You just go tell the general that congratulations, he's a winner. Oh, but you have to come. No, I don't have to do anything. You know what, give my best to the general. And so the boy made his way back to the general shaking his head, and he got back and the general said, did you find anyone? Yes, General, I found 3 men. Well, are they on their way? No, General. None of them? No, all 3 of them refused to come. Why? Well, one of them was really sick, and he was coughing and he looked very sick, General. And the other one was writing a letter to, I think to his wife or his girlfriend, and he was crying, and he said he couldn't he couldn't fight with tears in his eyes. And the third one was, uh, he was singing, General. Singing? He was, he was, uh, he believed we were going to win today, and so he was going to go claim some land. Claim some land that he hasn't fought for? That's ridiculous! Oh, but General, all three of them gave the same message for me to give to you. Oh really? What was that? They all said that I should give their best to the General. The general looked at the young man's eyes and he said, "Son, that's what they should have done."
