Me and My House

Good evening. Good evening. Yeah! Woo! Playing up for the camera, which is good. Hi, Dad. Everyone knows you're here. The talk tonight I've titled "Me and My House." And as you saw in the scripture reading before, the topic is on reconciliation, or the ministry of reconciliation. And to start, I'd like to tell you about one of my houses when I was a kid. For 2 years, for junior high, we lived in a house directly across from who became my best friend, Bo, who was in the same grades as me but at a different school. And Bo and I noticed something. He'd lived there his whole life, but we moved in and he didn't know the neighbors before. And once he knew us, we walked into each other's houses and we went, "It's the same." "Your house, directly across the street," his house was, and my house were the same. When you walked in the front door, everything was in the same place: the stairs, the bedrooms, the kitchen. Obviously, the builder had built the house twice on opposite sides of the street and saved himself drafting costs and stuff like that. But one thing that really stood out, one thing that was different, was when you went all the way through the house. You know, every door was in the same place, the cupboards were all in the same place, the stairs, the bedrooms. The things we put in our houses were in different places, but the house was the same until you grabbed the double doors next to the kitchen slid them open and looked into the backyard. My backyard was 8-foot fences all the way, one long fence bent around the backyard, a swimming pool, and a garden area with a nice little path going through to the gate around the side of the house. That was my backyard. So when you went into my backyard, it was fun, it was entertaining, but it was all about us. We were— we'd go in there as a family, or you could go there by yourself and hop in the pool. But it was really about us. When you went to Beau's house, and you walked through that same house, and it felt exactly the same, and then you slid open those double doors, everything was different. The fence wasn't a big wooden 8-foot fence, it was just pieces of steel cord pulled across about maybe only 4 meters into the yard, because the yard wasn't very deep. And you could see straight through the cord and down the hill, and it was a fairly steep hill, but there was a bit of a goat track going down it. Sometimes we went down it. But at the bottom of the hill was an oval, a footy oval. And the YMCA was just next to that. And so it got hired out for all different kinds of activities. And if there wasn't anything happening that somebody had paid to use the oval for, there was always something happening, especially on the weekends. Kids would be out there kicking the footy with their dad, playing soccer, throwing Frisbees. And it was so different. Same house. Going through the same front door, same bedroom, same everything, until you went and opened the back doors and you'd made your way through that house, and then everything changed. And I was thinking about this, comparing this to the Christian life and how some of our Christian lives— we can build our lives on different foundations, and they can be the exact same, can look much the same, until you get all the way through and say, what am I on about? When I'm in my private time, when I'm going through and I'm doing what I really want to do, and I'm the way this house has made me, and I've gone all the way through this house, and I open the doors and go into the backyard. Is it all about me, or is it all about them? Is it about the rest of the world? And the difference that I've compared this to is my house was like knowing the right things. There was doctrine, there was truth, and I'm not talking about my actual house, but just this idea of Indoctrination versus reconciliation. Indoctrination is this idea of you have doctrine, you have truth, you know the facts. You're a good Christian because you know what you're on about and you're right. And being right's important and it's about us. And our goal is to indoctrinate our children, indoctrinate ourselves, to be true to what we know to be true. But then there's the other backyard, there's the other house that looks exactly the same until you make your way through and It's not about knowing right things, it's about making things right. And that's reconciliation. That's about healing. It's about truth as well. It's about knowing others rather than knowing facts, and it's about being kind rather than being right. And it's about them more than being about us. And that goal would be called reconciliation. And that's the goal that when we look at the passage we just read in 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, that said, therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away, and look, new things have come. Everything is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. That is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them. And he had committed the message of reconciliation to us, or he has committed the message of reconciliation to us. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, certain that God is appealing through us. We plead on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God. He made the one who did not know sin be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him. Now, Bo and I had a habit in his back— well, not a habit, but an occasional thing that we would do. There'd be a nice footy match going down and the refs are running around in there and we would just think, wouldn't it be fun to— and so we would get bungee cords, wrap them around the posts under the deck and hook up one of his mum's Tupperware, good Tupperware, that's good stuff, bowls that we drilled a couple holes in and put water balloons in the bowl and walk backwards through the double doors and down in the lounge room and let it go and we could almost hit the 50-yard line. We could get these balloons just soaring through the air and we never actually hit anyone. But we scared the referee a couple times because the thing would burst on the ground and the referee would spin around and he'd look. And one time he came up the hill after us. And so what do you think Bo said? "Quick! Let's go into your backyard!" And so we went running across out of his house, across the road into our house and into our backyard where we could hide behind the fence. And That's not the message of reconciliation. There is a way to use this freedom to think, I can just go and mess the world up. I can go and do things because I've been given grace. But the truth is, if we understand grace and if it's truly got its— had its way with us, we will be about making things right for others. So how do we do this? How do we put this 2 Corinthians idea? And it's not just in 2 Corinthians, it's all through the New Testament. How do we put it into practice? How do we become reconcilers? Step 1 in this passage that we just read said that we have to be recreated. Did you see that? It didn't say we have to be reformed or we have to be re-educated or we have to be rehabilitated. It said we have to let God start over with us. We have to be recreated, a new creation. That means seeing things, all things, in a new reconciling way. It means a new way of seeing the world and your place, your role in the world. So how do we do reconciliation? How do we be reconcilers? Matthew 18:15, Jesus said, "If your brother sins against you—" "Go and tell him his fault between you and him quietly, just the two of you, alone," it says. If he listens to you, you have gained a brother. And then it goes on and it gives you some further steps. That's in Matthew 18. If you haven't studied that, because really it should be more than a study for us, it should be embedded in our characters, that if somebody does something against us, we go directly to that person and we do it in private and we make things right before they get out of hand. It's more important to make things right than to be right. That's such a hard lesson to learn when people have done something against us. How do we take that inside of ourselves and spread it around the world? First, I think we have to put it into practice. We have to see it develop in ourselves. Then we need to put it into story. Because if you go around saying to people, "You know, you need to be reconcilers," they're gonna, "Huh? What does that mean?" "Well, you need to read Paul in 1st and 2nd Corinthians, and you need to read Jesus in Matthew." Huh? So how do we put this into ourselves? As a chaplain, I get nearly every day, at least twice a week, I get the opportunity to say to someone who comes into my doors, whether it be at the primary school or at the high school, I get to say, have you talked to them? Because the first thing that they tend to say is, she said blah blah blah, or he did da da da da da, and to say, I'm really sorry that happened to you. Have you talked to them? And they, "Oh, well, no. Why would I talk to them? They hate me." Well, as humans, we're the only creature that can have a conversation about what's happened. So if you do that, a lot of times the problem will just go away because you've actually addressed it. You've walked right up to them and you've had that conversation. And that's putting Matthew 18:15 into practice. Have you talked to them? Not have you talked about them. Have you talked to someone else? That, you know, this is interesting because I had a young lady come in at the high school just 2 weeks ago, and she said, "I was at the lockers and my best friend walked by and she pushed me." And she said, "And I don't even know if she meant to push me, but when she pushed me I got upset and I turned around and I pushed her back. And we were late for class, so we went to class." And she said, I'm just so upset, I'm so terrified that she's going to say something about it. And I said, "Say something to who?" And she goes, "Well, there's this other girl who whenever bad things happen, people tell her, and then she tells everyone else." And I said to her, which I would never say this to a primary school kid, but it's good for us sometimes as adults, and high school students are adults, almost, to have some words to hang things on so that it makes sense later when it happens again. I said, That's called triangulation. And she said, "What?" I said, "Triangulation is when—" You don't do Matthew 18. I didn't tell her that. I said, "Triangulation is when rather than talking to the person who did something that bothered you, you talk to someone else because you think, 'Then they won't get mad at me. See, if I talk to the person who's mad at me, they're gonna get mad at me. But if I talk to that person, whether it's my husband, my brother, my sister, if I talk to that person over there about the other person who offended me, they can go and talk to them, then I can get mad at them because they didn't do it." then they can say that I said that, and then it'll fix it. It never fixes it. It makes it worse, and it makes things go on and on and on until it gets really bad. And so I just said to her, "Have you talked to her?" And she said, "No, because we had to go to class." And I said, "You should talk to her before anyone else does." And she said, "Well, how can I do that? She's in class." And I said, "I have powers. I can go and get her out of class." I said, "Would you like me to do that?" She said, "Yes." When I got the other girl out of class, I said to her, "You know," and I said her name, "She was just telling me you're her best friend ever." She's like, "Yeah, I know." I said, "Well, she's concerned that she's hurt your feelings, and she really wants to make things right with you." She's like, "Oh, okay, that'll be good." So we went in. First thing they did when I walked in, I sat them next to each other and one of them got up and sat across from the other one and just leaned forward and they hugged each other. And they instantly started reconciling. And by that time, the mom of the first girl got there because she was going to take her home because she was— and the mom said, "No, it's better if she stays." And anyway, these two girls sat in there and they figured it all out and they shared about it. And as they were leaving about half an hour later, I said as they walked through the office out of the counseling room, "Great reconciling, girls." I actually used the magic word. And they both just laughed and said, "Thanks, Dave Edgren." and they left the office. So there are times when we can use the word, but when we put it into practice and when we help other people put it into practice, we are taking the message of Christ, we're taking the message of reconciliation to the world. Um, at the primary school that I work at now as well, um, I get to write a little piece for their newsletter every week, and it's fun to take some of these ideas, core messages from the gospel and put them into story form so that they speak to the heart and mind of parents and students and teachers without preaching. Let me read you "The Mud Puddle." This was written the week after I had that situation with those two girls at the high school for the primary school. Life is like a choose-your-own-adventure book. At the end of each event, you get to choose where the story goes next. Ellie and Jane got to school early and were the only two kids on the playground. Ellie slipped and fell in a mud puddle. Jane ran over, jumped in the puddle, laughed at her, and said, "You look better now than before." Then she ran away laughing. Option 1: As Ellie was brushing herself off, the bus arrived. Rose, May, and Sarah asked Ellie what had happened. Ellie told them about Jane. If you want to see what happens next, turn to page 12. Option 2: Ellie stood up and brushed herself off. She saw the bus coming and went to meet her friends. Rosemay and Sarah said, "Ellie, you're covered in mud! What happened?" Ellie said she fell in a mud puddle and needed to go to the bathroom and clean up. Her friends said they would come with her. If you want to see what happens next, turn to page 26. Page 12. Rosemay and Sarah were angry. They told Ellie some things that Jane had done to them in the past. They all decided it was time for Jane to pay. They came up with a plan to embarrass Jane. Page 26. At recess, Ellie found Jane in the corner of the playground. Ellie explained how sad it made her that Jane didn't help her when she fell over. Ellie said, "Jane, the things you did and said, they made me sad." I wanted you to be, and I want you to be, my friend. Jane looked at the ground and said, "Yeah, I'm sorry. Ellie, I did the wrong thing." The two returned to the playground together. We all can write the next part of both stories because we've seen them. One leads to healthy friendships, the other to more hateful words and actions that go on and on. The best option is to talk to the person who hurt us. Tell them what hurt us and that we want to be their friend. It's not always the easiest way, but it is the best way. And then I finished with this: And kids, you also have teachers, parents, and chaplains to help you. You can ask a grown-up what you should do, and they will help you. Turn to page 28. And my wife said, we hope. When I read it to her. She said, it's sad, but a lot of parents would say, yeah, you should have taught her a lesson. But if we can teach reconciliation to our children, our children will teach it to their friends. If we can teach it to our peers at work, they will teach it to each other, because it feels better to be reconciled to than to be ground into the mud and then to be hateful towards someone else because of something. You know, some families can't remember why they don't like that other family. It's so many generations ago, they just still do, but it's because whenever whatever happened, nobody went across the road to the house that looked just the same and reconciled with the other family, or with the other person that they had offended. As reconcilers, we're called to turn to page 26 every day, every moment, every time we are wronged. We are not to prove we are right, but to make things right with the one who has offended us, or offended God, or even offended themselves through broken living or damaged decision-making. They are looking for a way— they don't know it, but it's their heart's cry— they're looking for a way into the kingdom of God. My daughter goes to a secular school, and it's a private school. She got a music scholarship there, and she loves it there, but they have a humanist approach. And the humanist approach basically teaches the idea that Left alone, all people will become their best selves. And so, if you could just create a safe environment for them, and then back off and nurture them, they will do great things. It's a great idea, but you still have to create that safe environment, you have to police it and that kind of stuff, because really, it doesn't always work. What's so fascinating to me is, coming from a Christian worldview, my daughter at this school, she's thriving. Her grades are excellent, her friendships are strong, and she's loving it there. But when we go to the parent— parent-student choir, which my wife and I are in, which is quite fun. At this secular school, the song last year that they chose for the parent-student choir was Amazing Grace. I looked at my wife and I said, "Isn't this about God?" And she just laughs and she's like, "Yes, David, be quiet." And so we sing Amazing Grace. And this year I go to the parent-student choir and the song is called "Better Is One Day." And the song basically says, "Better is one day in your courts, better is one day in your house, better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere." And because, as we're gonna sing in a little bit, you get to sing the whole song, but because they just wanted to learn the chorus, we just did the chorus in rounds, and we got it really, really good, and then we performed that. But what's so interesting to me is that they're actually looking They're looking for the gospel. They're looking for the kingdom of God. And they don't know it. But when these artists, these musicians are given the freedom to go and create something, they create something that's seeking something higher than themselves. They don't want it to be just about them in a safe environment. They want something beyond themselves. If your Christian experience is about knowing the right stuff, it's time to pack your bags. Move house. Head to the house across the street where the view of the world is bigger than us, a world that needs us to serve them as reconcilers for the kingdom of God. The choice is yours. Which house will you live in? Will you be focused on yourself, or will you be focused on others? Once you've moved from knowing right things to making things right, Your life will never be the same. One day in the house of the Lord is better than a thousand days anywhere else. So choose you this day whom you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord by serving others. Thank you.