Are Toys In The Bedroom Off Limits? // Hump Day Q&A

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You know what time it is, sweetie?

It's hump day Q and A time.

Hump day Q and A. Hump day Q and A. Welcome to the Naked Marriage Podcast. Hump day Q and A. We love answering your questions, so every Wednesday we're dropping a special podcast episode focused on one of your questions. You can submit your own marriage related question online@nakedmarriagepodcast.com or by sending us a message on Instagram aveandashleywillis. We've got a great question today, so let's dive in. So today says this, Hey, I have a question regarding sex. I know that you've said plenty of times that we are pretty free and liberated in our boundaries with sex and marriage, but I haven't heard. I could have missed it though. Any comments about using toys in the bedroom or getting kinkier to using cuffs, etc. What are your thoughts on toys in the bedroom and using things like handcuffs and straps, etc. Thank you for your time. You know, glad he gave some specifics because when you said toys in the bedroom, we have a lot of toys in our bedroom, but they're usually like Legos that were left on the ground.

They are dog toys, stuffed animals. Yeah.

So yeah, he's not talking about those kind of toys. He's talking about sexual sex toys. And I know that, you know, some people want to explore this or do. Or maybe one spouse is comfortable and one's not with things like, like vibrators or different, you know, different toys, so to speak, that would actually maybe even cause penetration.

More sensation.

More sensation. Yeah. But there are a lot of questions about like is there, is there risk with these kinds of things? Is, is this a wise thing from kind of a medical perspective? So in your professional opinion, kind of what are pros and cons related to bringing in outside elements like that into the bedroom?

Sure, sure.

So that's a super common question. I always like to say if you' having pain with penetration from your husband, let's skip the toys for now. Unless it's a non penetrating toy.

Right.

You know, because there's there's some toys that that will penetrate, there's some that won't. I would say stay away from the penetrating toys until we've addressed the pain issue from your pelvic floor. Once that's gone, if you're like, I just want. Let's just try something. My husband and I, we just. What's this? Cool. Let's try this.

Right.

Go for it. As long as it doesn't cause you pain in the moment or as long as, you know, one person is kind of iffy about it. If you're both on board and you're pain free, go for it. And there is no medical reason why you can't. As long as it's clean, of course.

Yes.

That's a good thing to mention.

I'll mention that. Make sure it's clean.

Sanitize the items after use. Yes.

And before.

And before. Right.

By all means, please.

Even if it's just out of the package, sanitize first.

Yeah, absolutely. No, I love that. And I think too, we just want to mention, like we always do on this podcast, you know, when it comes to actual toys that the two of you are enjoying together, handcuffs or the penetrating toys, if you're not having pain, that's fine. But when it comes to what God has called us to in marriage, we shouldn't bring anything, any person inside our bedroom, whether they're there physically or virtually in something like pornography. But when it comes to toys, like you said, I mean, it's really both being on the same page.

Absolutely.

Not causing you anxiety, you know, because. Because if it freaks you out or just kind of makes you feel weird or scared, it's going to kill your libido. So, you know, you both have to be on the same page in that.

Yeah, the bedroom needs to be the safest place on earth for both of you. Something we always say. So don't shame each other. You know, if one spouse wants to be more adventurous and try new things, don't shame that spouse by making it making them feel like they're dirty for wanting to be more exploratory or adventurous. But also don't shame the spouse that's more reserved and is uncomfortable with trying some of those new things. Again, this is just another opportunity to communicate, to show mutual respect and to make sure that the marriage bed is the safest place on earth for you both and a place where you both can experience a lot of pleasure but not undue pressure. And so you've got to find that balance in your marriage.

Thank you all so much for listening to today's episode of Hump Day Q and A. We love getting your questions and we want to answer your question. So if you go to to nakedmarriagepodcast.com you can submit your question right there. Or you can follow us on Instagram avanashleywillis and you can give us your questions right there by giving us a dm. So we'll catch you next time on Hump Day Q and A.