Ecclesiastes 4:12 - Summer of Scripture
25 Jun 2023 · 9 min
Dave Willis explores Ecclesiastes 4:12's "cord of three strands" as a marriage metaphor: husband, wife, and God. The episode covers premarital counseling, prayer, Bible reading, and church as ways to keep God central, plus modeling faith for your spouse and kids.
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Welcome to Summer of Scripture on the Naked marriage podcast. For 66 days in a row, we are releasing a daily devotional episode for your marriage. And over these 66 days, we're going to pull out one scripture from each of the 66 books of the Bible and talk about how it applies to your marriage. So if you listen to every single one of these episodes, you're going to have a comprehensive understanding of God's plan to for your marriage. We encourage you to listen to everyone. Let's dive into today's scripture. Hey friends, welcome back. As we wrap up week three of Summer of Scripture, we're on day 21 in the book of Ecclesiastes, which was kind of like the private journal of King Solomon, the wisest person who ever lived. But even in his wisdom, who made a lot of poor choices and chased after a lot of things that God didn't want him to chase. And the pleasures of this life, the fleeting pleasures, the womanizing, and some of the things he fell into really caused him to fall into despair. And so he wrote this book kind of as a midlife crisis. It feels like where he's reflecting with all this wisdom kind of on the despair he's felt from trying all these things that didn't really satisfy. But then there are also some really great nuggets of life wisdom like he had in Proverbs and this one in marriage. For marriage in particular, I think is gold. Ecclesiastes 4:12. A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer three. Or even better. For a cord of three strands is not easily broken. And as it relates to marriage, that cord of three strands is a husband, a wife, and God. And whenever those three strands are present, that that marriage is rock solid.
It is. You know, I remember when we were doing our premarital counseling kind of with we did a premarital counsel with our church where we had mentors. We were in different groups and it was awesome. But I remember my youth pastor who eventually became A pastor over some other ministries met with us because he was one of the pastors doing our wedding. And I remember he brought with him a cord of three strands. I'd never seen one. Do you remember that rooster? Yeah.
It was really cool.
So he brought this, like, physical manifestation of what it looked like to have a cord of three strands. And he said, like, this. The thickest part of this cord is God, because he's the strongest part of your marriage relationship. But he's like, these two other cords are the husband and the wife. And he's like, and when you all three stay together and you constantly are both pursuing God and then pursuing one another, you're gonna be so strong. And he's like, so you gotta be like, this cord of three strands. And he talked about this verse in Ecclesiastes. And I still have that. Like, it's in my memory box that I have in the attic. And we used to display it, like, in one of our homes. We had, like, a curio cabinet for our marriage stuff, and we displayed it with our wedding photo and things like that. And I just love it so much because I'm a visual person. And it. It really, like, I have that image in my mind. And I just think that that's such a beautiful picture of marriage. Cause I think so many times, even as Christians, we forget that God is the most foundational part of our relationship. And really, that's where he's supposed to be. But I think we get going in our own way and doing our own things and busy with life, and we're like, oh, yeah, God is part of this relationship. Like, what are we doing to pursue him? Are we making our relationship with the Lord a priority? Are we making him the foundation of our relationship? And if we're not, we need to monitor and adjust and do those things. You know, whether it be praying together, reading the Bible together, you know, being part of a small group at church that where we're growing in the Lord or attending church regularly, I think that's really important.
Oh, yeah.
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Absolutely is. I mean, he's the foundation. That's really kind of the main theme of this whole summer, of that we're doing, is when Jesus taught that we're all building our lives on a foundation of something, and if it's built on a rock, which is God himself, God's word, God's truth, then you're going to weather any storm. And without that, you've got no foundation. So he's the foundation. He's that third and strongest strand in the cord of three strands, and our marriages just cannot thrive without him there in the middle of it. And so keep doing everything in your power to pursue making God the central part of your own life and of your marriage. And it starts with you. You can't force your spouse to put God first in his or her own life, but you are 100% responsible for making sure God is first in your life. And if you're doing that, what you're doing now, like I'm commending you, you're doing it right now by just listening to something to help strengthen your faith and your marriage at the same time. But keep doing those things, keep praying, keep setting the right example within your home, and you're going to be creating an atmosphere where God is honored, where he's lifted up. And even if your spouse isn't quite there just through your example, there's a much better chance that they will get there.
Definitely. And I think one thing we forget to do, too, is just in kind of growing in the Lord together is talking about what we are learning about ourselves and about the Lord and kind of our walk with the Lord. I think it's important to bring each other into that picture. Like, you know, man, I've really been struggling with, I don't know, anxiety lately. And, you know, what God has taught me is that I'm putting too much thought and focus over here when I really need to focus on the Lord and what he's done for me and that he is gonna get me through this. Or, you know, that's just one example, but just kinda bringing each other into the picture. Or maybe there's been a, you know, a thing at work where, you know, you feel like this person just tends to be really negative. And you had an opportunity where you were able to kind of share the gospel with them. And so you share the gospel with them and you come home and you tell your spouse about that, and you guys really pray for that person, you talk about that person and just bring them into what God is doing in your individual world. Because really, it affects both of your worlds.
Absolutely.
But I think it's just such a beautiful thing when we really talk about what God is doing. Because that right there keeps him at the center.
It does. And then to share that with. I love that, sharing that with your spouse. You know, this is, I've been praying for this and this, I've been praying for this person.
And even with your kids, I just want to take that. I didn't mean to interrupt you, sweetie. I got so excited. But I wanted to say the other day we were talking about your dad and he's never once been in a vocational ministry position. Never. He's always been a businessman. He's worked in the manufacturing, automobile industry for most of his life. But he always, even to us grown kids, he will tell us about how he, I mean, how many times has he shared stories. Like I was in the car and I talked to this dude.
Never misses an opportunity.
Never.
Like he's way better at it than me.
He is so good at it.
Like he will just enter into a conversation and make sure that that conversation points back to Jesus in like a very normal way.
He doesn't use Christianese. He's very like down to earth. But he's had so many, you know, if he sees the opportunity, he takes it and he shares it with us. And I think as kids, I'm sure he did that with you guys too. But then here we are, adult children and he'll tell us about it. And it really challenges, you know, in the work that we do with married couples, how many times do we see God at work right before our eyes. And I try to bring our kids, you know, at an age appropriate level of just like what God is doing because it's important that we share it with each other. But also if we have children, bring them into the picture, let them know what God is doing and then ask them what they see God doing. Like that really touches your heart. You know, I found I was kind of, our older boys will clean their rooms, but there comes a point where my anal retentiveness, I'll go and like do a little more thorough clean, you know, and I would, I was cleaning Connor, our 16 year old, his room and I was just kinda dusting and I found this little journal and the page opened up and it was a gratitude journal and it was him thanking God. He started his own gratitude journal. And to me it showed me and I didn't look through the whole thing, but what he's thankful for, that God has done in his life. And I just thought, how cool is that? And so I'VE been asking him about that, and I think that we need to always be looking for what God is doing and talking about it as a family and as a married couple.
Man, that's so good.
Yeah.
Well, guys, keep being intentional about those things. I love it. Join us tomorrow for day 23 and the steamiest book in the whole Bible, Song of Solomon, also sometimes known as Song of Songs. And it is. It is hot, so you're not going to want to miss that. We'll see you tomorrow for day 23.