https://www.listennotes.com/e/41900e7341574e02abd9dc467226c2f3

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You know what time it is, sweetie?

It's hump day Q&A time.

Hump day? Hump Day Q&A, Hump Day Q&A.

Welcome to the Naked Marriage Podcast, Hump Day Q&A. We love answering your questions, so every Wednesday we're dropping a special podcast episode focused on one of your questions. You can submit your own marriage related question online at nakedmarriagerpodcast.com or by sending us a message on Instagram @daveandashleywillis. We've got a great question today, so let's dive in.

Hey guys, welcome back to another Hump Day Q&A. We're actually sharing a question from our Instagram page on our private group called the Inside Scoopers. You're welcome, it's private, but everybody's welcome if you'd like to join. And we got a question today that's really great and it says this. It says, How do I ask my newlywed husband after college not to follow immodest girls and in parentheses, who are friends, without coming across mad or controlling? And I told Dave, I love this question because We've actually gotten this question a lot recently. And a lot of these come from those of you who are, you know, getting married in college, right out of college, where you are the digital natives, you've grown up being online and you have this whole online life and social media life before marriage, where maybe you were following people or even posting things that aren't necessarily reflective of your life now as a Christian and as a married Christian. And so, anyway, I think a good place to start is just having that honest conversation and just saying like, listen, I love you. I know we both have pasts. Like I know that we were following different people, but the fact that you're following some of these girls who are lovely people that put really, you know, immodest pictures on there where they're not showing, you know, they're showing a lot of skin. There's not a lot left to the imagination. It makes me feel insecure as your wife. I'm not trying to control you at all. I'm sure maybe in your mind, you didn't even realize you were still following them. Like a lot of times it's, I mean, give them the benefit of the doubt. But just say, listen, I'm not over there trolling your Instagram page, but I just really want our marriage to be secure. And I don't want to do anything that's making you feel insecure. And I'm just sharing with you that these pictures, you know, knowing that these pictures are coming up in your feet, it just really makes me feel insecure. So would you mind muting that person, unfollowing that person, and then open up the door and say, and as your wife, is there anything I can do to build your faith and security in me and your trust in me. Because if there's anything I'm doing or anybody I'm following that you would like me to unfollow, I'm willing to do that for you.

Very well said. And I think we just common sense, biblical wisdom, we have to guard our eyes in a world that is just full of stimulus. And there are a lot of public images out there that God intended to only be seen in private intimate settings. Right. And it kind of has hijacked our minds to think what's appropriate, what's normal. And yeah, like the only guys listen, the only woman's skin that we should be focused and fixated on and following is our wives. And she needs to know you have eyes only for her and she's not being a nag and she's not being paranoid when she asks you to just be mindful of that. So, and the same for I mean.

I just want to say this isn't just a male problem, like in wanting to look at beautiful people. I think a lot of women these days will follow these, you know, a lot of its fitness influencers. Like they may not, it's not like it's a porn, a pornographic person on Instagram that necessarily she's talking about. She's saying attractive people, a lot of times fitness people who aren't dressed in much because they're doing fitness things or maybe they're a swimmer or like, you know, so they're, they're putting a lot out there that shows a lot of flesh. and you know, they're fit and they're in a lot of times they're doing like fitness moves, but we can tell.

Ourselves it's harmless, but really it's kind of like, you know, fitness tips and the dudes, it's like, dude, you never even work out. You just like you're watching all these fitness girls.

Same right.

And if it's really about that, then follow men that follow same gender influencers. There's a time. I mean, on both sides, there's a bunch out there. You don't have to like watch a girl in a G string jump around to get new exercise moves. If you're a dude, you can follow another dude. and get what you need that way. So just, guys, let's use our common sense. Let's guard our eyes, guard our hearts, protect our marriages. And yeah, if your husband has an issue with that, send him this podcast and then he can write me directly and I'll tell him, man to man, dude, you're being an idiot. Stop following flesh.

I can tell this wife is giving him the benefit of the doubt and just saying, you may not even realize this. I think anytime we come from the posture of giving them the benefit of the doubt and saying, listen, you probably didn't even realize you're still following this person.

Right.

But they're coming up, you know, I saw the other day when you were just scrolling that she came up in your feed and it just makes me feel really insecure. I think just really believing our spouse, you know, being honest with our spouse is going to go a long way to build a strong marriage. So thank you all so much for sharing that question and we will see you next time.

Bye, guys.

Thank you all so much for listening to today's episode of Hump Day Q&A. We love getting your questions and we want to answer your question. So if you go to nakedmarriagerpodcast.com, you can submit your question right there, or you can follow us on Instagram @davenashleywillis and you can give us your questions right there by giving us a DM. So we'll catch you next time on Hump Day Q&A.