Intimacy Outside the Bedroom

Welcome to the Naked Marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis. And on this podcast, we address the truth about sex, intimacy, and lifelong love. And we've got a great, great topic today. But first, Ashley is going to share a recent review. We love these reviews, by the way. We read every single one. So thank you for those on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, wherever you're listening, for leaving these reviews. So, Ashley, take it away.

That's right. This is from Tiger Kiss K. And it's entitled hold up. This is actually great. Which I just thought was such a great title. It's a great title, all right. And this person says, I was hesitant when I saw this recommended on social media. As a newlywed, I'm writing the Honeymoon Phase, but always open to suggestions to build a solid foundation moving forward. The moment I saw it was a Christian podcast, I was ready to write it off. Although I was raised Catholic, I no longer subscribe to organized religion. And Christian help sources in general are huge turnoffs for me. But this podcast does a beautiful job keeping their advice practical and thoughtful, with tasteful nods to Christian references. Nice job. I can't wait to catch up binging the old episodes and continuing to follow with the latest. Thank you so much.

Hey, thank you for your honesty on that. And I hope that this continues to help you in your marriage. And just, you know, thanks for giving it a shot even though, you know, even though it might be outside of your current worldview. And I hope that part of what happens along the way is, is maybe it helps you even look at Jesus in a new way.

Right.

And I think that that's a beautiful thing that we hope for those who listen to this podcast as well. So we got a great topic today. It's on a popular article Ashley wrote on intimacy outside the bedroom, which at first I was excited cause I thought she was talking about having sex in other rooms of the house. That's not unfortunately what it's about, but it's a really, really important topic that I think could be a game changer in your marriage. And I don't say that lightly. It's gonna be a game changer. Black Friday Savings are here at the Home Depot, which means it's time to add new cordless power to your collection. Right now, when you buy a select battery kit from one of our top brands like Ryobi or Milwaukee, you'll get a select tool from that same brand for free. Click into one of our best deals of the season, and stock up on tools for all your upcoming projects. Get Black Friday Savings Happening now at the Home Depot. Limit one per transaction. Exclusions apply. Full eligible to list in store and online.

You know, I'm so excited about our discussion today because we get so many questions from you guys and from people online about intimacy inside the bedroom, about sex. And we love getting those questions and we love answering those questions. But I think what many of us fail to realize is that really our intimacy outside of the bedroom is just as important, if not more important. Because really, you know, a strong intimate connection doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts outside of the bedroom. And I actually wrote a blog about this@marriagetoday.com and the questions we need to ask ourselves when it comes to cultivating intimacy outside of the bedroom. And I'm just gonna start with one. And this sounds so basic, you guys. So I know when you hear this, you're gonna be like, that's so basic. But it's the basic stuff that trips us up. And really that first question that we need to ask ourselves is, am I genuinely happy to see my spouse when they walk in a room, or do I see them as kind of like this interruption or old news? And if you hear that question and your first knee jerk response is like, oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, they're my spouse. They're there all the time, then that's kind of a point that needs to be addressed. Because if we are just like not impressed with our spouse and we're not looking forward to seeing them all the time, and we have, I mean, it's gonna show on our face. Even if you do say hello, it shows all over your face and your body language, then that really doesn't cultivate intimacy. Cause it makes your spouse feel like you just don't really care about them and that you're not happy to see them and that they are just this interruption in your life and you wanna get to the next thing. And so we really gotta. We gotta challenge ourselves on this one. Cause it's really. It's something where you need to look inside your own heart and your own mind. And if that is a struggle, we gotta bring it to the Lord and say, lord, help me.

Yeah, that's a really, really good point. And a warning sign you pointed out in an earlier podcast, and maybe one of your earlier articles too, is that the opposite of that is such a warning sign in marriage, when your spouse walks into the room and when you don't respond at all, like, at all at all, that is just. It shows such a deadness where there should be such life. You know, we've got a dog named Chi Chi at home, and she gets so excited every time any of us walk in the room. I mean, she's just going crazy. I'm just so excited that you're here and. And I'm thinking, I don't want to be that outdone by the dog in excitement when the love of my life walks into the room where the dog's going crazy. And I'm just sitting there like I'm annoyed. I never want that to be because the truth is, I am enamored by you. Every time I see you, I want to remind you through my posture, through my words, through my affection, that I love you, that I respect you, and that I'm so, so thankful that you're there. And when we start taking each other for granted, or even worse, when that taking each other for granted turns into a contempt we for each other, where you're just annoyed by each other, that's an emergency. And that's something that we've got to be really intentional about. And you've got to go first sometimes, sometimes your spouse might be doing that to you and you think, well, I'm going to treat her good when she treats me good. Or I'm going to. I'll show him some respect when he shows me some respect. If you want your marriage to improve, you cannot wait for your spouse to behave the way you think they should behave. You've got to model what you want. You've got to show them through your actions, the kind of love, affection, appreciation, respect that you desire, even when they're not in a place where they're reciprocating. And if you're willing to go first and do it, you by yourself can start a huge head start in bringing more intimacy to the marriage.

And, you know, I understand those of you listening are like, well, you know, I've tried this with my spouse, but they never really reciprocate it. And it just hurts my heart. So I've stopped because I'm trying to protect my own heart here. But again, this is where we've gotta bring it to the Lord. Because God will fulfill that kind of hole you feel in your heart. Because the truth is, you know, yes, we want our spouse to be reciprocating those things and being happy to see us, but really they can't fill a hole in our heart that really only God can fill. And I think so many times we expect our spouse to do that. And we can do an entire podcast episode on that. But I just wanna make that point, because I think so many times that's what we're expecting. We're like, make me happy, make my day, make me feel special. Make me feel whole, you know, just by noticing me. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to be noticed. We should want to be noticed by our spouse. But we can't expect them to fill this void that we fill in our heart when that's only where the Lord can fill it, and it's through our relationship with him. And so if you feel like you're not going out of your way to make your spouse feel like you're happy to see them, then I would just really start praying about that and ask God to give you kind of the courage and the strength to start doing those things that you wanna see your spouse doing for you, but doing them without expecting that same response in return. And I just wanna point this out too. You know, Dave has done this so many times for me, where he's been that person really, really kind of going out of his way to make me feel special and to notice me when I did not. Like, I was kind of in a. In a funky kind of state in my own life. And, you know, there's been many moments throughout our marriage where he's been more of the one kind of, I don't know, putting himself out there and being really happy to see me in the morning. And I've just been exhausted. And I would say one time in my life was when we were just in the midst of having babies and I was nursing and I was exhausted and I'd been up all night with the baby. And not that Dave didn't help. He did. But he's the kind of person that it's a gift. He can literally be up and then go literally right back to, like a dead sleep. It is a gift, and I can't do that. And so I'd be up and I'd just be up all night, you know, trying to take care the baby. And, you know, when we're exhausted like that, whether it's with raising babies or work that's hard or whatever it is, maybe we're. We have an ailment. Like, we're in pain at night, or maybe we're going through anxiety and depression. That's when it's really hard to be happy to see your spouse. And it's not that you're, like, mad at them. You're just mad at life.

And, yeah, if you're raising a baby right now, like, my. I remember four times we were the Exhaustion. The exhaustion and the great blessing.

I mean, the highs and lows, yeah, what a gift.

But that exhaustion makes everybody emotionally raw, even though it is such a beautiful gift. And then if you had sometimes postpartum.

Depression, which I had.

You had. And as a husband, I wanted to help. You were breastfeeding. I kind of have man boobs, but I tried and it didn't work to breastfeed. So that was not.

Oh, my goodness.

The babies kept getting hair in their mouth. It was really uncomfortable for everybody.

He never tried that.

I did not. But I'm just saying I wanted to help. And I did some, you know, bottle fed. But I know a lot of that.

I know you were like the most attentive husband.

A lot of that fell on you. And that's just, you know, the way that it goes. But in different seasons, you got to find ways to help each other out. And there are going to be different seasons and different particular struggles that one spouse has to kind of carry more of the weight. It's not always exactly 50, 50, but even in those seasons, you've got to look for ways to support each other. And so we want to talk about some specific ways in every season of marriage that you can cultivate that respect and that intimacy, especially maybe if you're in a season where there's a little bit of a disconnect.

Yes.

And so here, just to get real practical, here are five.

Yes.

And so the first one, we're gonna just kinda, you know, read these off a list and then say a little bit about Em. Sweetie, you wanna.

Yes. All right. Number one, whenever you greet your spouse, do your best to look them in the eyes, ask them about their day, and listen to what they have to say. And, you know, we make this point about looking in the eyes because we are in a culture where, you know, our spouse and the people we love the most don't always have our eyes because we're responding to them, maybe even grunting, like, maybe not even saying words while we're on the cell phone, looking at a screen, looking at the tv, looking at the laptop. And I have been so guilty of this. So, I mean, I'm saying this as one who has. Who has struggled with this and who has had to be intentional about this. And you guys, I mean, there is nothing like looking in your spouse's eyes. Like, one of my most favorite things about Dave are that he has what I like to refer to as honest eyes. And that's, like, one of the first things I said to you. I was like, I just love your honest eyes. And, you know, it's romantic to look into your spouse's eyes. And we're talking about intimacy here. Looking deep into your spouse's eyes is an intimate act, and it's important to make that a daily part of your routine is to actually look them in the face. And I would even say take it a step further and embrace. I mean, embrace your spouse in the morning. When you get up in the morning, even if you have sweater tooth and nasty breath, give them, you know, a nice look into. Deep into their eyes. Give them a hug, say. Then, like, cover your mouth and say, you need to go brush my teeth. But I'm so happy to see you. And, you know, just. Just making that. That effort and that intentional effort, because it is. It takes intention.

It really, really does. And that leads into number two. You've already touched on this, but I think we can definitely touch on this again.

Oh, yes.

Be sure to put the cell phone down and other electronic devices away so you can give them your best attention. Recent survey results said that average person touches their cell phone more than 2,000 times per day. Wow. Which means, like, we're just addicted to these little things. I mean, I've got mine right here. Most of the time. It's, like, right within arm's reach whether I'm sleeping or awake. And I need just. I need more accountability in my life in this area. I need to have better boundaries. But it is the thing that can cause a division in the marriage without realizing. And we're four phones. I mean, you guys, most of you are listening to this podcast right now because of the technology made possible by these brilliant little devices we carry in our pockets. We are thankful for the technology and for all the good that can be done with it. But if we're not careful, that gift can turn into a huge distraction in our marriage, and we've got to be willing to. To put it away. I think, you know, we talk about it a lot. One of our best times of the day, Ashley and me, to reconnect, is we go on a. We go on a long walk almost every single night. And we love that because there are no phones. We got the phones in the pocket in case, you know, our kiddos need to call. But for the most part, we're walking, we're talking. There's no screen to distract us, and we have our best conversation of the day doing that. You can't have an intimate conversation if your spouse is having to compete with your phone while you're talking.

It's so true. And I would even say this. Like, we were reminded of this. You know, if you go to a restaurant, a lot of these restaurants today have all these TVs everywhere. And I remember we were on a day. Like, a day date not too long ago, and Dave did not even realize. He's so good, you guys, about being intentional and being in a conversation. But there was a really, Like, a game that he was really interested in, and I was trying to have this serious conversation with him, and he called me out, and I called him out.

You were like, so do you not want to talk, or do you know?

And I was angst on it.

No, you weren't snarky.

But I was like, sweetie, are you just not wanting to.

You were actually really sweet about it. You said, like, you. You were very kind. It wasn't snarky or sarcastic. It was just. Do you not want to talk right now? Do you? You know? Or would you rather just want to watch that? But it kind of, like, brought me back to my senses because I was tired, and when I'm tired, my eyes just kind of, you know, just scroll to whatever screen is there. And it pulled me back, and I said, no, I'm sorry. You know, I was distracted, but I'm here. There's nothing in this room more important than you, and I want to talk with you. That's what I want to do.

And I think why I was frustrated is because it was one of those conversations where I really needed his full attention. And he didn't even realize it at the time, but he was looking at the screen, and then he would give me an answer that didn't have anything to do with what I was saying. And I was just like, this is madness. And I'd be like, sweetie, geometry.

I was just saying words.

But, you know, it's not just that. Like, I have to be reminded of that as well. So it's. We all deal with this. It's just kind of the world we live in. But we've got to be super intentional and not let those screens rule us. They're only meant to be a tool in our lives. They're not meant to be our full focus or even our master. You know, I think sometimes we think, oh, my gosh, the phone is calling me. Like, I must answer it right then, right there. We've got to put boundaries in place.

They're a good servant, but a poor master. Don't let them ruin your lives. Help them help you run your life the way you want. Number three, if Your spouse seems extra stressed when you greet them. Ask what you can do to help, and actually mean it. This will go a long way in lifting the burden to allow your spouse to be more inviting to you as well. When we're selfless, it comes down to that selflessness of really thinking of your spouse ahead of yourself. And this is such a biblical concept, by the way. You know, the world says, don't let anybody walk all over you and you get what you want and you give as little as you can. And Jesus comes along and says, no. True greatness is in serving others. True greatness is. True love is in letting others go first and putting the needs of others ahead of yourself. And in marriage especially, that should be ground zero for where we're living out the tenets of our faith. And even if you don't share our Christian faith, give this a try. I'm telling you, serving one another will make a huge difference in your marriage.

It will. But let me make this point very clear, and we talk about this very clearly throughout all of our podcasts. We're not talking about prolonged mistreatment or abuse. We are not. You should never withstand abuse, whether it's psychological, emotional, physical. You know, we're talking about when your spouse just happens to be in a bad mood and instead of throwing gasoline on it and, like, being like, you're a loser and you're just so mean all the time, you know, like, and just like lighting a fire to your marriage and to them and making it worse, we're saying as a spouse, you have a very special placement in their life where you can be like water because you know the triggers, but you also know kind of the balm. You know, you know how to add. If they're, you know, feeling enraged, burned, so to speak, you can be like, like the aloe to their life, and you can make things calmer. And that's what we need to strive to do. I'm not saying, like, if your spouse is a narcissist and they're just, you know, emotionally manipulating you all the time, that's not the scenario we're talking about here. So I just want to be very clear about that. But if your spouse is just kind of, you know, they come home in a bad mood, you say, listen, I can tell you've had a hard day. Why don't you go and run? Or why don't you go and watch that movie that you've been wanting to watch or have some time over here reading the book that you've been wanting to Read so that you can kind of come down from the day instead of being like, well, I've got a run day too.

You need everything.

Yeah. Why do you need this? I need this. Cause it's easy to do that. I mean, believe me, it's easy to do that. I know we mentioned earlier the child rearing years. That's one of those times where you're like, everybody's feeling like they're just completely just burning at both ends on empty. And so we have to be super careful in those seasons. There's so many more things to get to. And if you wanna know the full list about this, you can go to marriottay.com and go through the entire list of kind of those things to consider and how to bring more intimacy into your relationship outside of the bedroom. But I'm gonna share one more with you. And that's number four. It's if one or both of you has struggled with being uninviting to the other for a long time, be patient with each other as you work to improve this aspect of your marriage. Old habits die hard. Gosh, that is so true. But the good new behaviors will form with persistence and consistency. You know, I think one of the biggest kind of things that all of us kind of fall for is if there's not change quickly, then there's never going to be change. And that's just a lie from Satan. And Satan would love nothing more than to make you feel far, far away from your spouse and to bust up your marriage. Because he hates it when people are living out these institutions, so to speak, that God built. Cause God made marriage. He wants it to be this amazing relationship. And he wants you guys to be intimate and to be fulfilled and to be loving and kind to each other. And so, you know, Satan really does try to get a foothold by things like making you feel discouraged when you don't see change. And you know, we talk to so many couples where they're so ready to just throw in the towel because they're like, well, they're putting a timeline on things like, well, I didn't see the change I wanted to see in a month. So I guess we're just not meant to be. But that really is limiting God and what he can do. And God's timing is not our timing. It's just not our timing because God sees the full picture. And he is never late, but he is usually never early. I will just say that I've learned that in my 38 years of life. I have learned that. But he is always right in the nick of time. And so we have to keep on praying. We have to keep on doing those things we know we should be doing. And we need to keep on reminding our spouse that God is for us, not against us, and that we can do this. You know, I think so many times when our spouse is down and they're feeling discouraged, be that voice that brings them back up, be that person in their corner, be the shoulder they lean on when they're not feeling strong enough. And so I just wanna encourage you. Cause there's gonna be. It's really an ebb and flow in marriage. There's gonna be times where you're feeling like the strong one, and there's gonna be times where you're feeling like the weak one. There's gonna be times where your spouse is hopeful and there's gonna be times when you're doubtful. And so we have to lift each other up in those times.

Man, that is so good. And again, this whole talk was inspired by an article that Ashley wrote. You can find all of our articles and videos@marriagetoday.com but I want to read a portion of that original article about ways to cultivate intimacy outside the bedroom. Because I think this is just so good. And so again, these are Ashley's words from that article. She says, when we choose to consistently invite our spouse into our day and greet them with a genuine smile and welcoming spiritual, our marriage will grow stronger both outside and inside the bedroom. Real intimacy is about vulnerability and connection. The best way to cultivate and nurture a thriving sex life is by showing your genuine enthusiasm about being with your spouse both inside and outside of the bedroom. Do whatever you can to let your spouse know that you have. That you love having them around. There should be no doubt in their mind that you've still got it for them. Oh yeah, and I love that. And it's. It's so profound and yet so simple at the same time. I do think that we over complicate the recipe for a great marriage sometimes when we'll just get out of our own way, so to speak, and we'll do these things that we know to be right and we'll serve each other and we'll keep doing those things we were doing at first. And we'll give our best to each other and not our leftovers. And we'll apologize when we don't. We'll swallow our pride and actually admit fault and apologize when we've blown it.

Because we're all going to mess up.

We are. We're going to mess up sometimes.

Yeah. And so, yeah, it's just important to keep on doing those things. Like, keep on every day is a new day, and thank God for that. And so you wake up and say, you know, yesterday was rough, but today I'm gonna make it a point to thank my spouse for who they are and to thank them specifically for all the things they do for me in my life and tell them specific things I love about them so they know that I'm genuinely happy that they are my spouse. And, you know, it may sound corny to some of you listening to this, like, oh, well, they're a grown man. Or, or, you know, she's a grown woman. I shouldn't have to say those things. But those kind of thoughts, guys, are what lead us to a very empty marriage. It's those kind of thoughts when we, when we're telling ourselves, I shouldn't have to do that. It's just this slippery slope where we get into this tit for tat kind of mentality where we're like, but, you know, if he does this, then I'll do it, you know, but I'm not doing anything because I'm, I shouldn't have to.

And the next thing you know, you start saying, well, I shouldn't have to be married to him or I should have to put up.

It really leads down this rabbit hole that you never intended on going down. So instead, you know, thank God for every new day. Make it a point to tell your spouse that you're so glad that, that they are your spouse and you're glad to see them especially, too, when you come home and you greet each other. Be glad to see each other.

Man, that's good stuff, guys. Again, you can find more of these kind of resources@marriage today.com the ministry we're part of, we're honored to be part of it.

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There's a rhythm in every step. Progress isn't just measured in time. It's felt in the push to keep going. The TAG Heuer Connected Caliber E5 smartwatch brings Swiss luxury and modern craftsmanship into a design built to keep you moving, connected and in tune with yourself. Because every day is another chance to prove you're designed to win. Visit taghoyer.com to learn more about the new Connected Caliber E5. So we're going to dive into today's question and it's a good one. It's a good one. And we do appreciate those of you who write in. We appreciate those of us, those of you who write on social media. You can find us on social media. Instagram, we're Dave and Ashley Willis, all spelled out Facebook, you can just search for marriage or you can search for Dave or Ashley Willis and find our pages there. And we respond to those messages and we appreciate those who write us and follow us those places. But the questions we answer here on the podcast are the ones submitted@nakedmarriagepodcast.com that's right. And if you'd like a chance to have your question answered here, send it to that go to that website and there'll be a place where you can submit a question. And we appreciate all these questions. It actually helps us form future episodes, even the ones that don't get answered on the air sometimes. It'll inspire an entire episode in the future. It will. So thank you for doing that, sweetie. Would you like to read today's question? Yes.

It says, hi, Dave and Ashley. I've been wanting to ask this for a while. I'm engaged to my fiance, whom I've been with for over seven years. And it's not been an on and off relationship. It's been seven years of never seeing each other separate from one another, always pursuing each other and working through life together alongside Christ. And we're both now 21 years old, about to start premarital counseling together, which we are so excited for. There's always been this nagging question, however, that I've been wanting to ask him without making it seem like I'm blaming him, accusing him, or digging up an old life he's already surrendered to Christ. But that question is, have you ever pursued pornography or masturbation while or before we were are together? We've talked about it in the past and about how we know it is something that is sinful, wrong and damages. And it damages not only relationships, but also our relationship with God. It breaks me even to think about it being something he'd ever struggled with. And I've always been too fearful to ask. My question to you is, should I ask him this? Would it only cause harm if I should? How would I go about it in the Healthiest way. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate all that you do. You know, I just love that she's bringing this question out, because I think it is huge. And I think here it kind of carries more weight with it because they have been together so long, and, you know, I think we're always afraid of how our spouse, our future spouse will see us and also how some news will affect how we see them and how our heart will react. And I think that's kind of where there's fear here that he is gonna say, yes, I have struggled with this. And then she's gonna have a hard time kind of getting over that and see him in a slightly different way. And so, Dave, what would you say to this? Because this is part of our story. You know, we have an entire podcast on this struggle that was part of our story. And, you know, to be honest, I know we shared this a little bit, but just. I'll touch on it. I didn't ask Dave this. I didn't even think to ask Dave this. I mean, I was just kind of naive and didn't really think about it and being an issue. And it came up early in our marriage. You know, I saw what he had been looking at, not even knowing it was a struggle. And then he later confessed to me, and we got the help that he needed to stop this, because it is a hard habit to stop, but it is absolutely possible with God's help and with the resources out there. And so, you know, I do know if you do get an answer that he admits to it, then I do know kind of those feelings, and it's a mixture of feelings. But in. My first answer is absolutely. Ask it, because you need to talk about all these things. I mean, you're marrying this person. There shouldn't be any secrets between you. But, Dave, what do you think?

Yeah, I think you should talk about everything. And this is an issue that is, like Ashley said, kind of close to my heart, our hearts. Because, one, it's part of my story. It's part of the sinful past that I had to overcome with God's grace and Ashley's help. But two, in the work that we do, we see that porn, I believe, is the single biggest, biggest issue that is destroying marriages and individuals today, whether they're married or unmarried. And if the stats are true, and I believe they are, from the work that we do, 80% of men aged 18 to 30, that's four out of five, view porn regularly, which is at least once a month. That's four out of five guys age 18 to 30. And almost all men have, you know, have looked at porn and masturbated. So this is something that. That shapes our whole thought process, really, in a negative way, because we start thinking of porn as kind of sex education, and it's the opposite. It's sexual sabotage. It ruins God's plan for sex and intimacy. So I think you should talk to your fiance about it. To take it a step further, I think you should talk to your sons about it. If you're raising kids that age. You know, I wrote a book earlier, last year, called Raising Boys who Respect Girls. And in a lot of ways, it's just talking to sons about sexual integrity and helping guide them through that in a world where there's so much sexual brokenness. But we have to realize this issue is everywhere, and it has to be talked about more. And you cannot have the kind of marriage you want to have or even the kind of life you want to have if porn is a part of that life. And so you've got to talk about it. You've got to be real about it. If it's a current struggle, you need to get help. If it's a current struggle and you're married or engaged, you need to tell your fiance or spouse about it and seek accountability with them. And also, in addition to them, seek additional accountability. And in our book, the Naked Marriage, and in previous podcasts and articles, we talk specifically about what some of those accountability measures could look like. So I don't want to kind of turn this into a whole episode just on rehashing all of that, but you can look up those resources. But the simple answer to your question is, talk to him about it, and don't be surprised if he confesses that it has been a past part of his struggle or even a current struggle. But either way, even if that hurts to hear, getting that out in the open is the first step to healing.

It is.

And it's something that needs to be talked about. I wish that I would have had more accountability in those. Those young years when. When it was a struggle, I went through periods where it wasn't. I'd stayed away when Ashley and I did get together, I was not currently looking at porn, but it is something that over and over, I'd get into this cycle of falling into it, staying away for a while and. And then falling out of it. And so how should you ask, sweetie? What would you say? How should she go about asking, exactly?

I was just gonna get to that. Like she said, what is the healthiest way. And I really think it sounds like you guys have a very open and honest relationship. And I would do this over dinner. Don't make it a big dun, dun, dun. We need to talk. Make it a very natural conversation. And just say, I love being so honest with you. And I know we've talked a lot about how porn is so damaging. And I really don't want that to be part of our marriage. And I love you so much, no matter what answer you're gonna give me to this. But because we're gonna be spending our lives together and we spent these last seven years together, I really need you to answer me honestly. If porn was a struggle or is currently a struggle for you. And if so, if it's a current struggle, I really want to get help, you know? Cause I don't wanna go into this marriage with that struggle. And I don't wanna believe the lie that Satan tries to tell us that it's harmless. I want us to have a pure marriage bed. I want us to know each other fully in every way. And I'm telling you, it's really hard to feel attacked when someone comes at you from a place of love like that. And I can tell you are a very loving fiance. And you're such a wise young person. You guys are so young. And so I just applaud you for doing it right, for reaching out. I mean, that's amazing. So we're gonna be praying for you. Cause I know that conversation, you know, does need to happen. And I just pray you have the strength and the courage and the right words. And I know that God will give those to you.

Yeah, we are praying for you and cheering you on and just asking those questions. The foundation you've built over these last seven years. I know God has got wonderful marriage. And I hope this podcast and our other resources continue to help you along the way. So thank you for that great question. Thank you for those who are listening. So as we prepare to wrap up, quick shout out to those of you who subscribe to this podcast, thank you for your subscribing. For those who leave reviews. We read every one of these reviews. We do on itunes, Spotify. It means so much. And even thank you for those who review and read the Naked Marriage book itself. We really appreciate that as well. And by doing that, you're helping others discover this important message. And you're partnering with us in making sure that this message of building stronger marriages is heard all around the world. And we really, really, truly appreciate you guys.

That's right. We will see you next time.