Is My Spouse Flirting with Their Co-Worker? // Hump Day Q&A

You know what time it is, sweetie?

It's hump day. Q and A time.

Hump day.

Q and A. Hump day, Q and A.

Welcome to the Naked Marriage Podcast. Hump day, Q and A. We love answering your questions. So every Wednesday we're dropping a special podcast episode focused on one of your questions. You can submit your own marriage related question online@nakedmarriagepodcast.com or by sending us a message on Instagram aveandashleywillis. We've got a great question today, so let's dive in. All right, so we're going to dive into today's question. And today's question submitted@nakedmarriagepodcast.com says this. My husband refers to one of his female co workers as Shorty because the other guys at work call her that. To me, that sounds like a flirty type of nickname. Is it appropriate to call another co worker a nickname like that? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I really don't like that. Yeah, no, I think probably your husband isn't thinking a thing of it because it's just kind of what people call her. But I totally get your perspective and I totally get your discomfort with the fact that he is giving what could very easily be taken as a flirty type of nickname. And so I don't know if you and your husband, if, if you've really expressed to him how much you're uncomfortable with this, but my first advice would just be to say, listen, I know you don't mean anything by it. That's what guys call her. That's just kind of what she goes by. But it just, it makes me uncomfortable. Right. And so if, if, just out of respect to me, if you would just call her by whatever her actual name is, just so there's not any inkling of there being any kind of flirtation, even if everybody else is calling her that, I would appreciate it and see how the conversation goes from there. And he might, I don't know, I just think that that would be a good place to start the conversation. Don't, like, don't make him feel like, oh, you're flirting with this woman or you're doing this, because in his mind, I'm sure he's not. But it is something that. It's a blind spot, and all of us have blind spots. And I think it's a place where you can help him see that blind spot.

Right. And he may say, listen, this is literally what everybody calls her at work. I mean, it's on her name tag or, you know, it's on her desk. And maybe that is the case. I mean, Shorty, sometimes it could be just like the name that most people call her. And so she's been like, well, this is my name. But I get where you're coming from. I mean, even in, like, some of the, the, you know, music today, like in a lot of hip hop music, that Shorty term is a term of endearment that's often associated with flirtiness. And so, I mean, I get where you're coming from and I get the discomfort with that. And so I think it is, you know, what Dave said is so good. And just assuming that it's not, you know, your husband is not trying to be flirtatious with this woman, but being just so honest with him about it and just say, like, it just makes me feel uneasy. Like there's some weird connection between you two. I think that's where you have to start and ask too. Say, like, listen, is there any other name that she'll answer to? Because it just, you know, when you talk about it, it kind of. It just makes me feel uneasy and also talk through that. Like, is there something else your husband has done or is doing that maybe also makes you feel uneasy? And so this thing is just kind of a drop in the bucket, so to speak. And if there is, talk to him about that, definitely, because maybe there is. I mean, think about that and pray about that and think, you know, why am I triggered by the name Shorty? Is there something else that he's done that's made me feel untrusting of him? And if there is, definitely talk about it and be open and honest about it.

You know, I'm really turned on by your knowledge of hip hop culture. And my gosh, you know, you were really.

I can't think of a song in particular, Shorty, but I know it's there. It's been around forever.

I think if you called her, I'm going to start calling you Lil Shorty.

You got that, Lil? Yeah, Lil's in there too. L I L yes.

So that might just be.

I have a hard time saying that. I think it's my Kentucky accent, but, like, Lil is hard for me to say. I sound weird.

It's cute. Everything you say is really cute. But this is a really important question. We appreciate you sending it in, but, like, most issues really is going to come down to just communication and you and your husband believing the best in each other, showing each other a lot of grace, but also being really clear on expectations and really clear on what you're feeling and why you're feeling it. And I think, again, leading off with that, listen, it makes me feel uncomfortable, and here's why. And I think that could be a good place to start the conversation. Thanks for your question and thank you guys for tuning in, as always.