Social Media Secrets

Ray Ban Meta glasses come with open ear audio so you can listen to your favorite music without blocking out the world around you.

Hey, Meta, play Gorgeous. Here's Gorgeous by Doja Cat.

You can also ask Meta AI questions.

Hey Meta, when's Doja Cat's next concert? Doja Cat is playing at the Los Angeles Theater next Tuesday.

Sweet Ray Ban Meta glasses available at Ray Ban stores and other authorized retailers.

Hey guys. Welcome back to the Naked Marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis, and on this podcast, we Undress the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love. Want to give a quick shout out and thank you to those of you who have been subscribing online, leaving reviews online. Your feedback is so, so encouraging to us. In fact, we got an email this week that really leads into the topic today. Ashley, why don't you read this for us?

This email was from a couple going through infidelity and struggling with issues where social media affected their marri in such a negative way. And so they're now trying to rebuild their marriage and this is what they had to say. So I'd just like to thank you guys for your podcast. My wife and I have been listening together and have found them very informative and enjoyable. I bought your book and I like it. Good job. I like how you guys cover a lot of different areas and has helped bring us a step closer to putting our marriage back together. Thank you so much. Keep up the good work. Keep the podcast coming. And we, we love hearing from you guys about this and that it's helping you. And with this particular message, I thought it was so interest that they mentioned social media being a negative influence in their marriage. And so we decided today on the podcast we're going to address this social media, it can be so good, but again, it can be kind of bad when we navigate it in the wrong way. And I think especially when it comes to our marriages. And I can't tell you all how many messages, how many emails we get about how to navigate this. And one of the questions we get a lot is, is should we allow our spouse to have our password to our social media accounts? And our quick answer always right away will be absolutely 100% yes.

Now, this is huge. The strongest couples value transparency over personal privacy.

Yes.

And if you insist on personal privacy, that is going to be this area of pride. That will turn into secrecy, that will turn into dishonesty, that will turn into divorce if it continues unchecked. Because marriage the way God intended, it has to be naked. That's why we call this podcast, the Naked Marriage Podcast. That's why our book is called the Naked Marriage. God created the first couple naked and unashamed. And that nakedness represents not only physical nakedness, which is awesome, but it represents no secrets, nothing to hide, no masks. There's nothing up your sleeve. You're not even wearing sleeves. It's just a place of total transparency and vulnerability. You've got to have that, too. And the social media world, the smartphone world that we all live in, it's made it so easy to hide certain things, and it makes it so important to be vigilant that we're not having any part of our life, our social media, anything that we're keeping from our spouse. And so, yeah, if you want your marriage to be all that it can be, then you just can't have secrets. And it's not. And giving each other passwords, it's not because you don't trust each other. It's because you do trust each other. And it's because you do respect each other that you're saying, I don't want there to be any part of my life that's off limits to you, and that's gonna bring such intimacy into the marriage.

Absolutely. And, you know, I just wanna pose the question. If right now we're talking about this and it's making you feel extremely uneasy, I would just ask you why and think about that for a minute. Why? Why would you not want to give your husband or your wife your password, like, to all of your different social media forums? Why is that? Why would you not want them to see your Snapchats? Which. That's a whole other thing, I think Snapchat, you know, just to camp for just a minute. I don't like it because I don't like that things disappear. If you wanna do that with your spouse, so be it. I know there's ways to still have some transparency with that, but with Dave and I, one thing we've always done for years is we just wanna have total transparency. We know what can happen when there's not. Like, we know the hurt it can cause. We know how many secrets can form. And I believe that God can use social media to do amazing things. Like, we can pray for each other, we can keep each other informed. But I do think the enemy really tries to have a heyday with this secrecy and side of things. Because you can, I mean, if you want to, you can keep a lot of secrets that way. And it really will pull you into a rabbit hole far and far, far down, like further than you ever thought you would go. And you end up doing things you never thought you would do, and then you end up busting up your marriage and your family. And so that's why we talk about these things, because it happens pretty easy. I mean, it's subtle decisions that lead to bigger things that. That can have a very negative impact on your marriage and your family. So that's why we talk so, so boldly about this. And I know some of you listening, you know, might be thinking, well, I need something of my own. You know, I'm my own person. And that's some of the things that we hear when we talk to couples who are struggling with this. And I would say, absolutely, you're an individual. But that doesn't mean you lie to your spouse. It doesn't mean you have secrets. Being an individual doesn't mean you have secrets. Because in marriage, there's not this privacy from each other. It's not meant to be a private kind of relationship where you just kind of do life together and you don't share anything. This is the one relationship where God is very specific about being naked and unassuming. And, you know how you get shame is keeping secrets and having lies, and that's when the enemy comes in and makes you feel ashamed. But we're not supposed to hide things from each other. And that's why, you know, we need to out of the gate. And if this isn't already, you know, something that you do, you can change today. It just takes today, making the decision to make sure that you know each other's passwords, that you're not hiding anything from each other. There's not messages or posts that you wouldn't want your spouse to see. You know, think about that. Think about how. How this would make your marriage better because you would know for sure that you can trust each other.

Yeah, man, absolutely. So have a policy. We call it the secret free guarantee, where every password is shared, where every device is. There's nothing that's off limits to each other. You know, if your spouse picks up your phone and starts going through it, then there's not. That's just normal because you want to know what's happening in each other's world. It's not even about checking up on each other. It's just, oh, I'm using your phone instead of mine because I need to use it for a second. And there's nothing weird about that because we share everything. And if I happen to see your text messages and I'm like, oh, by the Way, don't forget you got this text message from Shirley and you're having lunch next week. It keeps you connected and engaged in each other's world. So make that policy, even if it seems weird, even if that seems like, oh, my gosh, that just. That is too much. That's too much. It's gonna help you build trust. And as we talk about all the time, trust is earned. You know, Jimmy Evans, our mentor marriage guru, he says trust is built in drops, but it's lost in buckets. So you can dump out a bucket full of trust when you break it, but you've got to build it slowly over time, one drop at a time. And every moment you live with, total transparency is another drop that you're adding into that bucket. Another aspect of social media, I think we need to address how the comparison trap can pull us in. It's not about the privacy deal. It's about how scrolling through Instagram and Facebook and wherever you're scrolling, you know, we're seeing people's highlight reels, their perfectly filtered Disney World pictures, and then we're comparing it to where we are in that exact moment, which is usually, you know, sitting in the bathroom, feeling, you know, sick with kids screaming and all kinds of stuff going on, and we're thinking, oh, my goodness, my life's never going to look like that. And the comparison trap, if we're not careful, it can really start. It's the enemy of contentment, and contentment is what leads to joy, and so it will steals the joy right out of your marriage. So how do we enjoy social media? Stay connected to other people's worlds, be a good friend and encourage her and all that stuff without letting that comparison sink into our souls and make us feel inadequate or make us feel whatever, make us fantasize about a different life. How do we do this the right way?

Well, I think we have to be very careful and in tune to what we're thinking about, because thoughts are what lead to actions. And so if we're. We find ourselves constantly looking at one of our friends pages and their. The cruise they're going on for the fifth time this year, or they're perfect kids who are in honor roll every time, or their husband who gets them the lavish gifts or whatever it is, you know, if we find ourselves constantly checking up on that person and obsessing over what, what they have or don't have or whatever it is, then we probably need to not. Not be on there for a while because that's. That's really kind of Creepy, because if you think about it in, like, a physical sense, you were literally stalking that person. And that's really weird behavior, and it's unhealthy. And so we need to stop. I think people call it trolling. You know, don't be TR on social media. And it's like, you know, it's just really. It's really not gonna go anywhere good because you're not looking for the right reasons. You're looking to compare. Whether you're comparing to see all the things that you don't have and that they have and you're feeling jealous, or if you're looking at yourself like, wow, see, I have a way better life than them. They make me feel so good because I have this and they don't have it. That's not good. Either way is not good. It's not really how God wants us to approach friendships. And so I would say if you find yourself constantly stuck in that kind of cycle of looking and comparing and looking and comparing, I would say get off Facebook for a while. You know, there's a lot of times people will do Facebook fast, and I think that's a good thing. You know, do it for two weeks. Just don't look at it for a while. Tell people to text you if they need you, call you if they need you, and just get off there because it really will kind of help get your mind and heart in kind of the right place where you're not constantly comparing yourself. And just like Dave said before, we have to always remember that people do not put their worst moments on Facebook or Instagram. They're putting their highlight reels, they're putting the best of themselves. And every time, too, there's a filter involved. There's literally filters on everything. Everybody looks better, everybody's acting better and doing better than they actually are in their real life.

I look at an Instagram picture of me and I'm like, man, that guy looks all right. And then I go to the bathroom at 2 in the morning and look at myself in the mirror. I'm like, I look hideous.

Oh, you are so hideous.

Well, I really don't care that much. The whole goal is just to not really care. But there's a whole difference between Instagram and real life, is what I'm saying.

Absolutely.

We just put our best out there, and that's good. We can put our best out there, but you don't have to feel like that. That's real life 24 7. Nobody's living in a fairy tale land. Everybody has struggles Everybody has issues. And so, yeah, don't get caught in the comparison trap.

And I think too, if we kind of focus on why am I sharing this? What you put out there, is it just to share with your family and friends? Is it just to bring them into those moments in your life? Or is it to make somebody else feel bad or make yourself feel better? Like, really think about the motivation and think about the words you put on there, especially when it comes to your spouse. If you want to give a shout out to your spouse, that's awesome, totally sing their praises all day long. But if you want to just talk about and rant about how terrible your husband is, how terrible your wife is, please don't do that. Or even this. Like, I even get, like, really bothered when I see somebody pointing out how handsome or beautiful some random star is and going on and on about how sexy they are and getting. I mean, people will get real specific. And I think, you know, that hurts your spouse. I mean, it's just. It's the same as looking at the pretty girl running down the street or the handsome dude, you know, cleaning your pool, whatever it is. I know that's such a cliche, but you know what I'm trying to say, like, just. It's the same thing. It's a pool boy fantasy. We don't even have a pool. No, I just know that's in movies all the time. But, you know, it's the same thing. It's a virtual way.

His name's Pablo, isn't it? You have a fantasy, see, about Pablo the pool boy.

You're so silly. I don't even know if I've ever met a pool boy. But it is in shows and it's like a thing. But you know, guys, I mean, if you were standing there next to your spouse, you know, it'd be wrong to just look and follow somebody with your eyes down the street and start fantasizing about them. That's the same thing when you start really making posts about how you, you know, your fantasy is with some random star or how you wish you had this life or that life. Like, that's gonna hurt your spouse. And it's hurting you too, because it's skewing your perspective. It's, you know the whole saying about, like, well, don't think the grass is always greener somewhere else. Why don't you water your own grass? It's really that same kind of thing. Like, look where you are. Look at the beauty that God's put in your home. Look at the gift of your spouse. Don't keep on looking and comparing your life to all these random other people and instead focus on what God has for you, what he's given you, and the blessings you have in your own life.

Bible says godliness with contentment is great gain. And I love that word, contentment. And if social media starts to become the enemy of contentment, then maybe we need to just put it away for a while, like Ashley said. So let's get real practical about what should we put or not put online as it relates to our family. Because I think that now that we're all living in worlds where essentially we're all living as reality TV personalities, putting huge chunks of our life out there for public consumption, what should we be putting out there? And then what should we not in terms of protecting some level of privacy for our marriage, our family, our kids. Just what should be the filter we use before putting anything out there? Not filter like in terms of picture filter, but filter in terms of the decision making process. Right.

I mean, I think we've got to be really careful, especially when our marriage is going through a tough spot. That's not the place to put to plaster all the details about that. Now if years down the road you guys have come through that and you both agree that for God's glory and for the good of others, it would be good to share your testimony, that's a whole other thing. And you need to be, you know, a couple years removed from that or more and have lots of counsel and be in a good place. That's a different thing I'm talking about right now. If you're going through marriage struggles, don't plaster it on Facebook. If you wanna ask for prayer and not get specific about it, that's fine. But the reason I'm telling you not to do that is because what's gonna happen and hopefully happen is that you guys get through these struggles, but then your friends and family remember all the details about whatever your spouse did to you and they're not as for, and it's not their marriage. And so then you have people treating your spouse differently because they know of the dirt kind of on your spouse, so to speak. And so you need to be very, very careful about that. And I would say this doesn't mean like you don't share things online, but share the positive things. If you are going through some kind of hardship, you can still ask for prayer and talk about going through a hardship without getting real specific or putting your spouse down or, or just plastering all the negative things they do online because you can't take those things back. I mean, you can even try to erase a post, but all these people saw it and they're not gonna forget it. And so be really careful. And I would even say if it's an emotionally charged post, I would look at that post and kind of not post it until you've looked at it a long time and even edited it before you put it out there. Because again, you can't take it back. And it could ultimately really hurt your marriage too, if it's a negative. You know, never put anything negative about your spouse online. But if it's emotionally charged and it could even be bent that way, I just would be very careful about that because you just can't take those things back. And even if you've moved on and you've forgiven your spouse or you've. Or you've kind of reached this new place of understanding in your marriage, you have all these other people online who don't know that and who are still thinking about that, and it's just stirring up dissension. And in the Bible, it's very clear about not stirring up dissension. In fact, it says God hates that. And it only says he hates a few things, but it says he literally hates that. So we need to not do that. We need to do whatever we can to bring peace to our homes, you know, and to bring even, even peace and encouragement to other people.

Silent Nights. Total drag. But incredible holiday deals are happening now on Bose.com with products that deliver full, rich sound and transform boring into anything. But this season, give the gift of sound they'll love on silent nights and long after the holidays are over. Find something for everyone on your list on Bose.com Holidays Deserve Music. Music Deserves Bose Shop, Bose.com Spotify.

Steamer here.

Give me the dirt.

Hey, Steamer. My kids want a dog.

What do you think?

In a way, your kids already have pets. And by pets, I mean the billions of bacteria living in your carpets, couched under rugs.

Right?

And they're not that cute. So call Stanley Steamer and we'll take care of it. Then maybe start with a goldfish. They won't pee in your carpet. Book your deep clean now@stanleysteamer.com yeah, online.

And. And that. That reference, what Ashley's talking about, you're thinking God hates stuff. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

The book of Proverbs. It lists out six things God hates. Seven that he finds detestable. Pride, lying and all these things.

But.

But that disunity, Somebody that would Cause disunity is a big one. Especially man, especially in marriage. I think just a really good litmus test for anything you put online is, yes, I'm getting my spouse to sign off on this. And it's not just about like Ashley was talking about with maybe a post. Sharing too much of your life. Guys, listen, this is good marriage advice for husbands. Never post a picture of your wife unless she approves of it.

Yes.

Because she's going to look beautiful to you in the picture no matter what the picture is. But I found over years of learning some hard lessons that she does not think she looks beautiful in all the pictures. And if I post one that she doesn't like, then it could create some real unnecessary marital strife.

And so it can go the same way for husbands. I think there was one picture once where you were like, oh, sweetie, I just, I don't think I look good in that picture. I mean, you don't care as much as I do.

I extreme. It looked like I've had a stroke or something and maybe that one. But yeah, I normally don't. Don't care.

He always asks me now. Cause there was one post years ago. Oh, I got in trouble and it was so sweet. It was like a little family moment, but it was just not my best picture. And again, again, you know, I like everybody else, I want to put my best foot forward online. And so I was like, dave, oh, can we take that picture down and just put this other picture that's like way better.

Of course.

And he was like, oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I just thought it looked great of everybody. So, I mean, you just never know and it's just being, it's being courteous to your spouse. But again, I don't think you ever, ever need to put something negative about your spouse out there.

No.

And I would even venture to say too, even if you're in like a separation right now, even if you are on the brink of divorce, like there's papers out there, and we've talked about this in past posts, if you want to listen about how to deal with that, please go back and listen to when you're fighting for your marriage alone. But I would even say in those moments, you can't do not post things negative about your spouse because you have children, most of you, they can see those things and you can't take that back. You have other people in your life where you're trying to pursue peace in this situation and they don't think you're trying to pursue peace. And so they you know, there's some people that are just looking for a fight. They're just looking for dirt, they're just looking for drama. And they're the ones who want to try to stir it up. And you're gonna draw in those kind of people. You're literally going to bring more of those kind of people in your life who think, ooh, some good drama going on there. Let me get myself in the midst of that. And you really don't want those kind of people in your life. You don't. And on Facebook, that does. When you start putting negative things out there and bad talk in your spouse, bad talk in your situation, those are the kind of people that want to come around. You know, there was a quote once that talked about how, you know, when you're really rotten is when the fruit flies come. And I just think that that's such a. Like, a true statement, because when we put rotten stuff out there online, negative things, bad things about other people, you're going to bring in some fruit flies, so to speak, that just want to circle around you and get around you and stir up more drama and dissension in your life. And we do not want that. God wants us to have lives of peace.

Yeah, that's right, guys. Be peacemakers. Be positive. Again, some of the main themes of the Bible point around this, even outside of marriage, just in general. So how much more so should we be doing this in our marriage? All right, kind of like turning gears a little bit. What about following the wrong people or the wrong friends on social media? And there are lots of examples of this. You know, I've known guys that'll follow, like, all these female fitness models on Instagram, you know, and these women basically like, wearing, you know, G strings and bikinis, showing off their fitness, so to speak, when the guys are just following these. These ladies to get kind of a peep show. And it really, really is inappropriate. It's terrible for your marriage. And I just think that we've got to be vigilant about, you know, about what we're doing, about who we're following. And these. This needs to be an important part of the conversation of social media and marriage as well between you and your spouse.

And I would even say even on Facebook or Instagram, if there's women, like, this is talking to the men specifically. And it could be the same for women, but I'm gonna talk to men specifically about this. If there are women friends of yours that suddenly are putting a lot of sexy photos online, I would unfollow them for a while. Because usually it's a woman who's just wanting attention. And, you know, if she's suddenly all of a sudden putting these cleavage pictures or she's putting pictures that have a sexual way about them, you have no business having that on your feed. You don't want to see that. Or at least you shouldn't want to see that, because it's just gonna take you again down a rabbit hole that you never intended on going down. And, you know, we are sexual creatures, and, you know, sometimes we can't help where our eyes look, but we can help if they stay there. And so you wanna remove that from your feed for a while, and maybe that person sees you unfriend them and they get offended. I would see no qualms about saying, I'm so sorry, but you can mute people without even mute them. But even if they did approach you or something and they said, why'd you unfriend me? That's so weird. And I would just say, listen, out of respect for my wife, I just don't. I can't have women, you know, posting racy pictures. And that's why. I mean. And if you think that's weird, I would just tell you your marriage is worth it. It's worth it to have weird and awkward conversations with other people that you don't need in your life if that means standing up for your marriage. So, you know, I think sometimes we don't do the things that we need to do to protect our marriage because we're afraid of what some other random person might think. But I just want to encourage you and remind you that your marriage is more important than that. And so being willing to do some of these things that you might consider drastic, like muting someone or unfollowing them so they won't come up in your feet anymore, that's nothing. That's just comparing, you know, that's just standing up for your marriage and not comparing it to someone else or not allowing yourself to lust after somebody else. And again, it goes the same for women, I think. You know, there's some women that it's the same thing they're following. You know, we're not usually as visually stimulated as men, but we can be. And I think you can follow certain guys that are, you know, doing crazy workout videos or whatever it is. Maybe they're like a lumberjack and you want to. You're like, oh, I just have an interest in lumberjacks all of a sudden. Like, come on.

So now you got you got a pool boy fantasy and a lumberjack fantasy.

I'm really pulling these things out of thin air, sweetie. But I'm just trying to point out that we can reason. Like, I feel like we can justify ourselves all day long, but really, I think what we need to ask ourselves is, like, why are we trying to justify this? Why are we trying to make excuses about this? And instead, what can we do to put boundaries in place to protect our marriage? Because our spouse is more important than looking at lumberjacks or pool boys or fitness models or whatever it is.

Yeah, I think we've got to just be vigilant about who we're following, and not only for just kind of like, sexually provocative stuff, but just in general. I mean, we need to take an inventory of who we're following or who we're liking or whatever the social media network is friending and why now, if it's. Especially if it's just these public figures that we don't have a relationship with at all. It's not even about relationship. It's just about, you know, following, following their life or their world. And you gotta ask yourself, is this helping me become a better spouse? Is this helping me grow closer to Christ? Is this helping me be a better person? Or is following this person's feed making me more greedy, making me more just, like, angry, making me more whatever if it's something negative. There have been times where I've followed people who will just put all these political rants and I'll find myself seeing this pop up in my feed all the time and actually starting to get kind of like, you know, more angry just reading all these things. And I think, wait a second. I've got better things to do with my time and energy than to get sucked into these online fights that nobody wins.

Right?

And so sometimes you just need to mute people or unfollow people or unfriend people. If following certain people is just constantly stirring up that comparison deal where you're trying to keep up, maybe you need to mute that person's feed for a while. If following certain people is bringing up kind of this, like, any kind of lust or provocative imagery, you might need to mute or unfriend or unfollow those people for a while. You've got to be so intentional about who you're following, because your life is going to start to be shaped by who you're following. And so, first and foremost, we follow Jesus, who never needed a Twitter account. You know, we follow him in every part of life. But I think that as we follow him, we need to be really careful about who else. Who else we're following online.

We do. And I even think when it comes to our friends, like, if you have friends that are constantly ranting on their husbands or ranting on their wives or are constantly putting out things that are just bad, like, you see a picture and you're like, whew, why are they putting that picture out there? I wouldn't feel comfortable with my husband seeing me look at that picture. I wouldn't be comfortable with my wife looking at that picture. Because sometimes you can't help who comes into your feed, especially on Facebook and even Instagram. You know, I would unfollow that person for a while. I would. You know, I know on Facebook in particular, you can unfriend them, which means you will not see their posts at all. But you can also unfollow somebody to where you're still friends with them, but you're not necessarily having their posts come up in your feed. And so they won't even know you haven't followed them. They won't even know they don't get a notification or anything. And so do that, you know, unfollow them. Because that stuff, again, it can kind of stick on you a little bit. Like, if there's somebody who's, like, really pro divorce out there and, like, you don't need a husband, you don't need a wife, and. And just divorce them. And my life is so much better since my divorce. And you're going through a hard time in your marriage, I would say that's probably a good time to unfollow that person because it's not gonna be a good influence on you. And so we have to be really careful about who we're listening to. We have an entire podcast about who is speaking into your marriage. And we didn't talk specifically about social media, but that is another kind of avenue of people and influencers who do speak into your marriage. So really think about who is coming through my feed. Is this somebody who I'm getting positively affected by? And am I being a positive influence on others? You know, would I want my spouse to see this post I'm putting out? Would I want my child to see this post I'm putting out? And if the answer is no to both of those, I would say you probably shouldn't post it. You know, and again, I think like we said before, if you're not sure, ask your spouse. I mean, this is a great way to have an open conversation about things.

And remember that social media is not real life. It's very often just not real life. And friends from social media aren't necessarily real friends. And while social media can be a wonderful tool to stay connected, and certainly with our ministry and with just our lives and living miles apart from family and friends, often, it's been a wonderful tool to stay connected. It's been a great tool for sharing resources like the podcast to help hopefully get encouragement out there to people. But social media, for the most part, is not real life. And so we can't let it replace real life interactions.

Yes, absolutely.

Believe that the myth that everybody out there is exactly who they appear to be online. And we need to sometimes take a reality check and maybe take a step back and even, like Ashley mentioned early in the podcast, maybe do a fast from social media. Digital detox, I like to call it, and I personally need a lot more of that in my life. I'm on there too much with just our work and our lives. A lot of what we do is online. And I find myself the more I'm on there, it tends to have a negative impact just in my personality. You know, I tend to get more stressed and more irritable. We're just not meant to be looking at screens as much as we're looking at screens. And I'm preaching to myself here. I'm not just trying to make you all feel bad. So as a guy who is trying to learn these lessons as well, let's all just be willing to take a step back and keep it in its proper place. Use it as a tool where it's not something that's dominating our lives.

It's so true. And I would just tell you, too, if this constantly tends to be a challenge in your marriage, I do think a digital detox would be great. But then if you're like, you know what, we really want to stay connected online because we do have family and friends, you know, in faraway places where we want to know what's going on with their lives. I would challenge you to maybe have a joint account. I know for Dave and I, we have a joint Instagram, and our Facebook accounts are separate, but we have access to all of the messages. And so we see each other's messages all the time in our post, obviously all the time. We tag each other in almost every post most of the time anyway. But I would say, you know, a lot of couples are going to where they're sharing a Facebook account or they're sharing an Instagram account, and that way, it's really a together thing, and they can put, you know, who's actually posting. But if it's something that brings up a fight and yet you still want to participate in it, and you want to have that transparency, that may be the answer for you. You may also want to do something when it comes to your cell phones, because I know that. But just being connected can kind of go even further than just the social media accounts. But something we do is we have the same Apple id. And so a lot of times we see all the different things going on, and actually our kids are on it too. So we see all their pictures, we see all their texts and everything like that. And it's just to kind of keep everybody beyond reproach, to keep us all accountable and to have transparency. And I think in the same way, you can do that when you have a joint account on Facebook or on Instagram. And even if you don't just be willing to give your password to be open to not get bent out of shape if your spouse gets on your phone, and I would say too, if that is something where in your marriage, when your spouse reaches for your phone and you get really tensed up, I would say you all need to have a conversation because there's clearly something that you're trying to hide. And just work through that and see why do you feel that way? Like, what's going on? What kind of inappropriate exchange is going on on your phone or on your social media that you're trying to hide from your spouse? Because now is the time to talk about that before it ends up being something much bigger and much worse that you have to deal with. And so I'm hoping that just hearing that, if there's a stirring in your heart or if you're feeling kind of a light bulb go off in your mind, maybe we touched on this because God wants you to bring this out in the open and talk about it and have that hard conversation and then do whatever it takes to have the transparency that you need to protect your marriage. And every marriage needs transparency. Every single marriage needs to be naked. And that's how God designed it, because that's how we're truly gonna connect with him and with our spouse.

Man, that's so good. And we can't end a conversation about social media without inviting you to connect with us there, because there's a lot of good that can happen on social.

Absolutely.

And we'd love to see you so you can find us on Instagram. Aveandashleywillis. You can find us on Facebook by just searching for Dave Willis or Ashley Willis or marriage. We're also part of the team at Marriage Today and we're so thankful to be part of this team. They make this whole podcast possible. And specifically I want to give a shout out to our producer Brittany Wilcox and our technical engineer, Jordan Kennedy, who work way harder on this podcast than we do.

They're amazing.

They really make it happen and we want to thank you guys for listening. So subscribe. Let us know what topics you would like to hear. Leave Reviews all these are ways to help other people discover this free resource and we want to get the word out as much as we can so you can contact us on social media. Let us know what you think. You can leave those reviews. You can even send us an email. Davewillismarriagetoday.com, ashleywillisarriagetoday.com we always love hearing from you.

That's right. Thank you guys for listening and we will see you next time.