We're Bored In Our Marriage // Hump Day Q&A

Steamer here, give me the dirt.

My mother in law is coming over.

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You know what time it is, sweetie?

It's hump day Q and A time. Hump day.

Hump day Q and A. Hump day Q and A. Welcome to the Naked Marriage podcast. Hump day Q and A. We love answering your questions. So every Wednesday we're dropping a special podcast episode focused on one of your questions. You can submit your own marriage related question online@nakedmarriagepodcast.com or by sending us a message on Instagram. Aveandashleywillis. We've got a great question today, so let's dive in. Hey, friends. Hey, Naked Nation. I'm gonna start calling you guys the Naked Nation.

I like it.

That's what that's from now on. It was born today. That's who you are.

Naked Nation.

Wear it. Pride. Naked Nation. I like that. All right, so, well, it is good to have you guys here for hump day Q and A. And we've got a great question today. For those of you who want to send a question, you can just go to Instagram or Ave and Ashley Willis on Instagram. You can also go to nakedmarriagepodcast.com, submit a question there. We would love to hear from you. Today's question is this. It says, I just feel bored with my marriage. What should we do? Just an honest question. You know, I think every couple is going to go through seasons of highs and lows. Sometimes when you're in that kind of like, long rhythm and grind, so to speak, of just, you know, know, life and kids and bills and just trying to keep your head above water. If you're not intentional, it's easy to slip into that boredom dynamic.

Oh, yeah.

And, and then to just kind of survive there and think, well, this is, this is just for a season. This is where we are. But then nothing really changes and you get deeper into that season and next thing you know, you don't feel connected to your spouse. Maybe your sex life is not regular or it just feels mechanical. Maybe you're not connecting intimately on an emotional level, spiritual level, physical level, not necessarily huge arguments happening, but you're just sort of coexisting. And that's sad. And that's not the way marriage is intended to be. So first step is just kind of recognizing, hey, we're not where we want to be. How do we get back to a good place?

Yeah, like you said, the first step is recognizing we're a little bored. It's not really what we want right now. But I think too, where kind of the rub can happen is if one spouse isn't bored and the other one is like. And that is hard. Like, that can be really hard. But I think it's still important to go to your spouse and say, hey, I feel like we're kind of in just this autopilot season. I feel like we're in autopilot, and I really want to. I want to try something new, and it could be doing a new activity together. Like, you take that pickleball, you go to dancing classes, you join a new small group at church, maybe you volunteer at church. Like, doing something new together can really. That. It can really kind of take that boredom out because it's putting you on your toes. I feel like a lot of times we get into this boredom rut because we haven't been on our toes. We. We're just. We're doing what we think we need to do every day, day in, day out. We're just taking care of the kids, we're going to our job. We're just doing, you know, checking the boxes, but we're not really engaging. And so do something that is going to cause. Cause you to re engage, you know, and just speaking of re engage, I mean, that's something. If your church offers a re engage class, that's something that does that. Like, it tries to get you out of that boredom, gets you out of that rut. It's a great program where you literally do re engage, and you also get around other couples who are trying to do the same thing. But I think those ways that I just mentioned are a few that kind of come to mind. I feel like, go to an XO conference. Like, do something that's gonna. You don't have to go somewhere to get yourself out of a boredom rut, but you do have to do something new. It's going to take something new to get those, you know, like your brain thinking new thoughts again, your heart feeling new things again for your spouse and realizing, like, wow, we're changing all the time. I need to get to know this person again. I need to have fun with this person again. And like, something like the XO conference, it's just. It's fun and it's going to get you thinking new things. For example, my parents have been married. Gosh let's see. They've been married 44 years this January, and they just went to their very first. You guys, we've been doing marriage ministry for 11 years. They've heard us speak on, like, a Sunday or. Or something, but they've never been to one of our marriage conferences. And we said, will you please come to Church of the Highlands and go to their marriage conference? And they were like, yes, we're going to go. They drove all the way from Kentucky. They went to every single session. Not just our sessions, they went to every single session. And I was talking to my mom the other day, and she said in our car ride, because they made a little trip out of it. So they went to Birmingham, and then they went to Fort Walton Beach, Florida. And she said on our little car ride from Birmingham, Fort Walton, she said, we've been having the best conversation. She said, there's things that your dad and I have been thinking about that we hadn't really thought about. She said, you know, Jimmy Evans was really talking about serving one another. And we both agreed we can both do a better job of serving one another. Like, she Specifically, after 44 years, it's amazing.

You know, it's just a reminder that we always. We can always learn more. We can always grow more. And if we just slip into that rut, like, no, we've. I know everything about them, and this is.

They're old news.

They're old news.

Yeah.

They're never old news. You know, your spouse. There's always more to learn and discover together and about each other. And so, yeah, keep. Keep doing that. Keep pursuing each other. Keep dreaming together.

Yes.

Keep praying together. Keep trying new things. And your marriage can grow richer and deeper with time. You know, it doesn't have to. To just kind of fade off into the sunset. I mean, really, with every season of life that you have, I think the. The latter years can, can and should be the best years.

Oh, yeah.

Because of all that you've shared to build up to that moment and being able to celebrate the legacy you're creating and. And keep dreaming new dreams until Jesus calls you to heaven. So that's. That's our hope for us, and it's our hope for you, too.

That's right.

So we've got a lot of resources to help you with that. Guys. Check out the podcast, check out our. Our books, our resources, and just keep growing and dreaming together and come to one of our events. Just like Ashley invited her parents, we're inviting you. Go to xomarriage.com, check out what's available. We would love to have you there anytime to meet you, to give you a hug, hear your story, and I promise you're going to enjoy it. Hope to see you real soon.

Thank you all so much for listening to today's episode of Hump Day Q and A. We love getting your questions and we want to answer your question. So if you go to nakedmarriagepodcast.com you can submit your question right there.

Or.

Or you can follow us on Instagram at Dave and Ashley Willis and you can give us your questions right there by giving us a dm. So we'll catch you next time on Hump Day Q and A.