XO Conference Preview

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Hello, and welcome back to the Naked Marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis, and on this podcast, we address the truth about sex, intimacy, and lifelong love. And you guys. We have some amazing guests in studio with us today. We have Ed and Lisa Young of Fellowship Church. Welcome, you all.

We're so excited to have you here.

We're very excited.

Yes, we are. This is a surreal moment.

It's surreal.

It's like just meeting your heroes, you know, Feel like Neil Armstrong just walked in landing.

Oh, my goodness.

And. And they're here. Lacy Young in the flesh. We are so excited to hang out with you. Next week. We're going to do a full interview with you guys to get your. Your. Your wisdom and your preview for your podcast, the Created Marriage. But today, we're giving folks a preview of the Exomarriage Conference, which is coming to your church and simulcast locations all over the place, February 11th and 12th here in just a couple weeks. So thank you for hosting us.

I'm excited. This is going to be great.

Give us a preview of, like. Give us a preview of what you guys are going to be communicating.

Yes.

I don't know. We thought about talking about specifically intimacy. We wrote a book called the Sex Spearmint several years ago. We thought about doing something like that. We're doing something right now. We've been working on something called the Seven Senses of Marriage. We might do that. So I don't know, you know, so.

You got to come to find out.

Yes. All we know is there's going to be great content because every speaker has something unique to offer. And that's one of the things that I'm so excited about. I mean, Ed and I are going to be sharing, but we're also going to be gleaning for some amazing.

Yeah. Because we're going to work on our marriage.

I know.

As everyone else is. And the speaking lineup. A collided kaleidoscopic range of people from all walks of life. It's going to be absolutely amazing. It really is. Our church is fired up about it. We are.

I mean, yay.

Go online and register your church.

I mean, it's. We're so excited to bring it to Fellowship church because we have been Fellowship fans from a distance forever. Long time now to have you guys hosting and to be there. It's. It's just gonna be. It's gonna be so much fun. And the lineup this year, it really is. I think it's the best lineup. Just think everybody's. Like Lisa just said, everybody brings something so unique. Every single speaker, and people are ready, too. I think there's a hunger right now to get back together and to learn, and folks are ready for it. You know, the last couple of years, I won't belabor the point, but it's been exhausting and frustrating, and we've been separated from each other, and there's been anxiety and all kinds of just stuff, but folks are ready. Ready to get together and learn and to celebrate. So come to this. And man, let me talk to you for just a second, because I think sometimes it's the guys who think, I don't want to come to a marriage conference, right? There's football on or what? But you know what? Football season's over first off, so there you go. And number two. Guys, listen, I promise. I promise you this is going to be fun. You think marriage conference. That sounds the opposite of fun. You're thinking. You're wrong. All right? I guarantee you, if you come to the EXO marriage conference, you're going to laugh more than you've laughed in a long time. That's right. You're going to learn a lot. You're going to feel so closely connected to your wife. And the result of that weekend, the result of giving up a Friday, Saturday just focused on your marriage, I think the residual result of that is going to carry you for months and potentially even years down the road. I can't think of a better way to spend this weekend, but it really is gonna be fun. It's not work. There might be some work that comes as a result of it, as you say, you know what? We've learned some things that we're gonna apply, and some of those things might even require some discipline. But overall, like, this is gonna be something that is enjoyable. Even if your marriage is in a tough spot right now, even if you're feeling like in crisis, there are gonna be moments here, even in the midst of that very difficult situation you're in, where you. Where you're going to feel. You're just going to feel your shoulders getting lighter. You're going to feel like, you know what? God's with us in this.

Yes.

You're going to laugh together again, maybe for the first time in a long time. And I just believe that if you'll come in faith to this, God's going to do something for you. He really, really is.

I love that. And you know, too, guys, I love to fish. And I don't hesitate. Okay, I'm going to go fishing for a day or two.

Yeah.

Or, you know, let's. Let's take, you know, this, this hunting trip, whatever it is, or. Or a football trip. You know, we'll spend a couple of days. This is worth it. I mean, marriage at the end of the hunt is much, much, much, much, much, much more important than any of those things. And those things are cool. They're extracurricular activities, they're fun, but they don't pay the dividends. They don't affect the culture and the world like what we're talking about.

It's so true, generationally.

Yes, sir.

Your kids, your grandkids, your great grandkids on down the line. Life's going to look different for them based on how you're focusing on your marriage right now.

And I'm so glad you brought up kids because some of you listening, and Lisa and I were just talking about this before we started recording, some of you listening, some of you watching are like, hey, I'd love to go to an exo marriage conference, but I probably can't find a sitter or. But a sitter's too expensive.

Or.

But I can't leave my kids. And we all feel very passionate about.

Takes care of my kids as well as I do. I can't leave them anybody. Because I'm just. I'm a better mom, I guess, than the other moms, because I don't, if.

That'S what you're saying. You might be a helicopter parent.

Exactly.

Just hover, hover, hover, hover, hover. You're right. But it's so important to take time for date nights and things like that. But a conference like this, it's worth the investment. And Ed's always said this, pay now or pay later. Because if you don't invest in your marriage one day you're going to hit a rocky spot and you're not going to know, if you haven't already, and you mentioned just a second about, you know, give up a Friday and a Saturday, I would say you might think you're giving up a Friday and Saturday, but you're really investing In a Friday and Saturday. This is going to be an amazing time. And you know, when we were. Ed and I were. Oh goodness. Our last children, we had twins. The last. And I think they were born when we were like 35 years old, whatever. And we were overwhelmed. We had a seven year old, a three year old, and then twins. And so it was chaotic. And I remember we took them to the pediatrician for their little checkups, like two months old maybe. And she asked us if we had been on a date night. My pediatrician.

Yeah, I said, a what night?

What? Right?

What is that?

I did that a long time ago.

And I'm thinking, how in the world could we make that work? I mean, oh my goodness, you can make it work. You can make it work. To be away for a Friday and a Saturday, lean into the parents, lean into the in laws, lean into a trusted sitter, and you may be able to work it out with a co op thing where you don't have to pay a thing or you may have to pay. It will be the greatest thing you have done for your marriage. We pay for club cheer, we pay for sports, we pay for all these other things. So don't use finances as an excuse not to be able to invest in your marriage.

Yeah, that's a truth bomb right there.

I'm a little passionate about that.

I love that you guys are passionate because I feel the same way. And I know sometimes when we talk about finances, we end up stepping on people's toes because they're like, but you don't know my situation. And I get that. I know that there are some very unique situations out there. You know, sometimes we hear from, from parents who have special needs children and I understand that sometimes that can be a very unique situation. But I also know of people in those situations where they make it work, like they find a way. And I would even say too, if you're watching this and listening to this and you are maybe in a season where kids aren't in your home anymore and, and you have a passion for children and you know a couple in your life that could benefit from you watching their kids so they can go to the exo conference, let this be your sign from the Lord that that is something that you could do to bless them.

Yes.

I'm telling you all, like, literally one of the best things you could possibly do this year is bless a couple with watching their kiddos. And you know, and maybe that has been on your heart and you've just wondered, well, I don't know. I'm telling you, there are certain points in our marriage where if someone had come up that I know, I'm not saying like to a perfect stranger like, you.

Can I watch your children?

I'd love to bless your family. Like, no, I'm not. Don't be the creeper, please don't. But I'm saying like someone in your life that, you know, you have an established relationship with. If we had that like, with like in certain seasons of our raising kids, I would have packed my bags that day, like, I would have gotten my tickets, that I would have been like, hallelujah, thank you, Jesus.

You know, there was a time, one time we even, even though we didn't really have the money, we paid for someone else to have overnight childcare. And here's a quick story. So, yes, and this really the point of the story is always communicate with your spouse before you make commitments. So there was a couple in our small group, very sweet, love them dearly. Love them. And they were really needing some time away and they had just adopted a child. They had two kids and the child that they adopted had some special needs and they were just kind of desperate for some time away. And we had a baby and young kids and all this stuff. And I'm talking to this guy and he just seemed like, you know, he seemed like he needed help. And I just felt like, I just want to help this guy.

You want to bless this guy?

I wanted to bless this guy. And so without asking my wife, I said, you know, we would love to just take your kids overnight. And as soon as it started coming out of my mouth, I knew, I knew that I was making a mistake because. And then I thought surely even if it was out, I was like, he's going to say no. I couldn't accept that. But before jumped on it, he said, yes, thank you. Oh, this is an answer prayer. He goes, I can't wait to tell my wife. And then I, and I was like, I can't wait to tell my wife. And I went over and I said, sweetie, funny story, I was talking over here and they were just, oh, they were needing childcare. And, and I said, I said we'd be happy to take their kids, you know, overnight. And, and you started, I started literally to cry, weeping. And I was thinking like, is there any chance I had like a two month old? I was like, what are those? Tears of joy? No, they weren't, they weren't. And so, so I scrounged together the money and like one of the girls that had done overnight babysitting for us. I'm like, you know what? I just feel like your kids would be more comfortable in your own homeless. We're going to bless you, and we're going to take care of this. And so they got it. And a great, you know, it was a good. It was a good investment. Yes, it was money. It was. I paid now or paid later. I paid.

Ed and I had. When we moved to Dallas from Houston. Ed's family was in Houston. My family was in South Carolina. We didn't have any close relatives within a, you know, a radius of our church that we could depend on. And there was a wonderful couple in our church whose children were grown, and they used to take our daughter, our oldest daughter, before we had our others. But they would have done it the same for our son and for the twin. With the twins, it gets a little bit more complicated. But many times they would take her on a Friday night and take her to the local high school football games. And it gave Ed and I the date night that we were so sweet wanting. And it was a tremendous gift for us.

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It is. It's such a blessing. And I think. I think sometimes what we're trying to say, you all, is we overcomplicate it sometimes. And I think if we're looking for an excuse, we'll find an excuse. But if we're looking for a solution, we will find a solution. And I will tell you, there's been times where we have gone seven people deep on our babysitter list. Sometimes it's like, it's like a phone tree where one babysitter knows another, and I'm like, so you don't have a record and you're safe?

Get out of prison. It wasn't a violent crime. It was like, you know, I'm like.

We need this daycare.

We need.

No. So, I mean, I get it.

We have, though. We've.

We really have.

Like, in all seriousness, we haven't been around family either. Yeah, we live away, you know, and we. But we didn't let being broke. And we've been broke. We've been broke stand in the way. We didn't let the we don't have family excuse stand in the way. We're like, no, this is a priority.

And even we didn't always. Like, there have been times we did make excuses, but we learned.

We've learned.

We learned the hard way. Yeah, we pay our pay later.

We're going to find a way to do this. You know, we've used. We've used sites like care.com, which is not yet a sponsor of this podcast, but they're police. Call us. And there. There are. There are solutions. Right? We just have to look for solutions. If you're connected to a church, talk to the ladies that volunteer in the nursery at your church that are already good with kids. They've already passed the background check, and ask them if they'd be interested in, you know, being a babysitter for you. There are resources around us if we'll look.

And I think one thing Dave always says, and guys, you all listen to the podcast for any length of time. You've heard me say this before, but Dave always tells me, because I'm the one who's quick to say, oh, I couldn't ask them. That would just be terrible. You know, I don't want to. I just don't want to put them out. And he goes, you can't say no for people, Ashley. He's like, what's the worst thing? I mean, that they just. They can't do it. Whatever. I mean, you can't say no for people. I mean, just recently, our normal babysitter, overnight babysitter, couldn't do something. And we were kind of a little bit in a tight spot. And he thought outside of the box and was like, you know what? There's this girl we know in our church. Why don't you ask? And I was like, oh, no, I couldn't. He's like, sweetie, just ask her. And she was thrilled. She was like, oh, my goodness. You know, I actually was looking to make a little extra money, and I love kids. And, you know, it worked out. She's amazing with kids. She works at our church and volunteers youth group. So, yeah, it's. And I just constantly am reminded of that because I do think that, you know, in the Bible it says you do not have because you do not ask. And there's just so much truth to that because I think so many times we psych ourselves out of it and so just be willing to ask and get that BabySitter.

And the EXO conference is a worthy investment of finding that babysitter. So you've got, you got almost two weeks. If you're listening to this on the day it comes out, you got almost two weeks to line this up. So line it up. So line it up. Start, start figuring that out. Makes.

But secure your tickets first.

Yeah.

Get your tickets exomarriage.com and/grapevine.

Yeah. And I promise you, you guys are going to have fun. Fun. This. I'm, I'm so excited about it.

Me too.

I mean, it's my favorite weekend of the year. It's like the marriage Super Bowl.

It's gonna be so good. And I just want to, I want to give like a little. It's a secondhand testimony to exo. I have a friend whose brother and his wife were going through some really tough stuff and there had been an extramarital affair. And I mean, they were at the point where they didn't know where to turn. They wanted the marriage to work, but there were so many feelings involved and hurt. And they came to EXO Marriage conference. And so some people might be coming and coming to XO or wanting to come to EXO for the laughs and for the fun and the enjoyment, but others are really coming for healing. And so no matter what the need, the spectrum that you're on in your marriage, God wants to do something in your marriage and bring it to where he wants it and where it can go in the future. And so they came to exo. Their marriage was totally transformed.

Isn't that great?

That's it. That's what I call it.

I look back and think, wow, what a difference. A moment, a day, a week, a decision, a choice. It just could make a difference in someone's life and what you will build during this time for the future of your family. And I'm not just talking about six months a year, the 10 year anniversary or whatever, but for the generations to come. That's what you need to invest in. And that's what XO is.

Yeah. Wow.

I love that.

It really is what XO is. And you might think, well, our problems are too big. You know, we got too much years and years of stuff. It's not going to be fixed in a weekend. And no, it won't be fixed in a weekend. But what this weekend can be is the moment you change directions, the moment you were heading one way and you committed together that this is our turning point. This is our line in the sand where we, we decided to turn to a new direction. And that direction ultimately will lead to healing and redemption and all that God has for your marriage. You don't have to settle for living in just this broken place. God wants to bring you to a place of healing and you're going to get encouragement and hope and practical tools to help you take those next steps toward healing. And so, guys, be there. And if you can't be there in person, you can join us online. You can live stream it. You can get all the information for all this@xomarriage.com but if there's any way you can be there in person or at a simulcast location somewhere in your area, I think there's something powerful about experiencing this with.

There's nothing like it.

There's nothing like it. The only benefit to watching at home is you can be naked. But that's the only benefit which isn't all bad. Right you are.

But, but definitely not at Fellowship Church.

Please come fully, come fully closed.

But it is a great option, though. I mean, if people cannot, couples cannot show up the online, the miracle of technology, et cetera. But the physicality of being in a venue, you can't touch it.

And I will tell you that the Fellowship Church team of volunteers are so excited to extend hospitality to these couples coming. We just, we get giddy about that. Just to be able to open the doors of the church and say, look, this is where miracles happen. This is where something great can take place. And they're excited to be hosting as well as, oh, my goodness, we're excited.

To be coming and we're excited to be learning from, from you guys. Truly, we've, we have been for many years. But to, to, to learn from you on your home court.

Yes.

And I, it's just going to be a blessing. And the whole lineup again is, is really, really just going to be something special this year.

It is. I can't wait. And again, you guys, if you want to come to our Grapevine event, it's coming up. Go ahead and snag your tickets. You can go to xomarriage.com grapevine Again, it is February 11th and 12th. If for some reason you can't make it to that one, go to xomarriage.com and check out our full calendar. Or you can do exactly what the Youngs were talking about. You can do it virtually. There's so many ways that you can get this content and you can start having those conversations that lead to change in your marriage. And, you know, just like Lysa was saying, God is not through with you. You are not damaged goods. You are not too far gone that you don't have hope. There is so much hope in the Lord. And you guys, there's not one perfect marriage out there. And I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that none of us ever arrive. We all have things we can improve. And so I don't want any of you considering going to these events to think that, like, you're the worst person walking in the room or. Or, oh, my goodness, if they only knew. Because the truth is, we all have things we need to work on. And you're gonna. If you come to these events, you're gonna be among people who are all here for the same reason we. We go because we wanna have a better marriage. We want to grow closer to the Lord and to each other. And so I think that you'll find when you come to these events, you'll be in good company and you might even make a few friends along the way. So I hope that you guys consider coming out.

Thanks again, Ed and Lisa. Guys, tune in next week because we are going to sit down with these legends again and they're going to share more of their story. And I promise it's going to inspire you. So tune in next Monday for that episode. We'll see you real soon.

Bye, guys.

Sam.