XO Fitness

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Hello and welcome back to the Naked Marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis, and on this podcast we address the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love. And you guys, we have some dear friends of ours in the studio with us today. This is one you want to watch. They are awesome. They are a wealth of knowledge and Dave's going to tell you more about them.

That's right. Chris and Paulette Monroe are two of my favorite people and ever individually. And then you put them together as a couple and they become the world's most interesting couple.

Power couple.

So Paulette just, she is Incredible. Has over 1000 hours of teacher training. She's a world class yoga instructor and really one of the visionaries behind our brand new XO Fitness, which we're going to be talking about as well. And just one of the kindest people that you'll ever meet. And so fashionable, too. Like, love just throwing out compliments.

So fashionable.

Chris, you know, Chris is, you know, he might be the world's most handsome man. I don't know. Like, I, he's up there, top five. He, he was a naval officer, a fighter jet pilot. Again, does it get any cooler than that?

It's like, I don't think it does.

Top Gun, loosely based on Chris Monroe's life. But then if he could have just retired there and been done, but he's like, no, I want to go and just essentially run Nike for a quarter century. The Air Jordan division. This dude is hung out with Michael Jordan.

It's so cool.

I mean, they're just really like, I'm glad that people know we're friends with them because it makes us look cooler. They're those kinds of folks. But we're going to be talking about their love story today and we're going to be talking about Exo fitness, which is something I am so excited for you to hear more about. It can make a real difference in your marriage. So let's dive in, Guys. Like we said in the intro, you are in for a treat. This I can just go ahead and promise in advance, this is going to be one of the most fun episodes ever. There was an ad campaign a while back for the world's most interesting man And I feel like we've got the world's most interesting couple. We do, as you heard in, like, their little abridged bio, like, these two just have, like, the most interest. They're just so interesting. But not only are they, like, so accomplished and awesome and interesting, they're so real and so fun and so genuine, and we just love hanging out with them. So, guys, welcome. Chris and Paulette.

Welcome, welcome.

Thank you so much.

You're so generous. Oh, my goodness.

Very much so. Thank you.

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having us. This is great.

Oh, my goodness. Well, and for those who are watching. Oh, we have so been looking forward to it. We're so glad people get to watch and see what a beautiful couple you are. First of all.

Thank you.

But we're just thrilled to be in the same room with you guys because we don't always get to be together. And so this is such a treat. We absolutely love it. Yes.

Texting a lot, but the distance has us, you know, separated. But we love when we get together, so, yeah, it's great to be in the same room with you. I love it.

Last time we were in the same room, we. I was sore for three days after because Paulette is quite the yoga instructor.

She really is amazing.

And my body doesn't move in very flexible ways. I've learned. But you're so graceful and so powerful with. With exo fitness. I'm so excited. We're going to talk a lot about exo fitness, which is just something that you guys have made possible. But I so enjoyed it. Like, at first, I thought. I thought, I don't know if I'm going to be into this. I enjoyed it so much, I laughed. I didn't even realize I was exercising at the time because I was having so much fun. And then afterwards, my body's tingling all over, and I'm like, that was a workout. Like, I. I felt alive, though. I felt so good. And I'm excited for couples to get to do this together because the way you two lead couples through exercise is something that I think is a beautiful way to come together. Honor God with your bodies and being healthy, but also enjoy something unique to do as a couple, because us, Ashley and I don't normally work out together. Usually she's doing her thing, I'm doing my thing. But that day with you guys, that was such a fun bonding experience for us.

It was.

It was.

And I. I'm. I'm just thrilled that it's going to be something other couples can. Can experience.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I think it's just another way to bond. It's another way to come together and experience each other in a fun way. And it doesn't have to be stressful. It doesn't have to be too rigorous if you don't want it to be. It can be, you know, it's. It's about yoking your breath and the movement and doing that together. There's just something very intimate about that that we find.

I agree.

We did the same thing. We would go different schedules and work out differently, but once we started going to the gym together, it was. Even when we were doing different things, we'd go together and, hey, it's time to go and just push each other. And we slowly started doing certain things together. So it's just been awesome.

Right?

I love it. And you guys see that on you. And we're gonna, like Dave said, we're gonna unpack Exo Fitness more and more. But before we kind of dive into that, I would love to hear what brought the two of you together. Like, more about your story.

Okay.

Who owns the mo rights to this love story? Because when the movie, the world's most Interesting couple launches with, you know, Denzel playing Chris and. And Jlo as Paulette, There we go. I've got it all figured out. Like, it. This is, you know, it's. It's going to be a huge hit.

Well, maybe you own the movie, right?

But I want to know the genesis. Like, how did this. How did this amazing love story start?

Yes.

Oh, my goodness.

I can tell it really quick. So if my wife tells it, we'll be here for a while. So it's interesting. I was working at Nike, and at Nike, we started a Bible study, me and a couple of friends. And I guess a couple of years later, maybe about 10, 15 years later, her daughter was going to start working at Nike. So she was in a moms in prayer meeting and then said, hey, pray for my daughter. She's getting ready to start at Nike. And one of the ladies said, my son goes to a Bible study there, so maybe she should go to that. So she came to the Bible study, and I got to know her a little bit. And then one time she brought Paulette, and we became fast friends. She used to. No matter what subject we were talking about, she would ask me to read from the Song of Solomon, I think it was.

That's a Christian. Christian pickup line right there. Something.

Something's here. And kept on asking me how I felt about Proverbs 31.

And I'm like, I don't know that one.

No.

Hilarious.

Oh, my goodness.

So we were. We were friends for about a year. Year and a half.

Yeah.

And then we just slowly started. She couldn't. She couldn't. Hold it.

I can't pretend to be your friend anymore.

Exactly.

So.

So that was back in 2015. Well, we met way back in 2012.

Oh, my gosh. 2012. Yeah.

Got engaged in 2015.

And then.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's a whole story within itself, the engagement. But I have to show you the video. Yeah.

I had somebody follow us.

Yeah. That's cool. I gotta see this.

Yeah, I'll show it to you.

Wow.

The whole backstory to where we got engaged and. And at the Ritz and the story behind that. And in San Francisco. In San Francisco. Because I'm from the Bay Area. And so we went back from Portland to the Bay Area, and I had no idea. I was completely clueless. And. And, you know, as we were sitting there in the room. I'll just tell it very quickly. We were sitting there in the. In the concierge. On the club level. There's this guy. There's no one else in the room.

Let me just say that about the club level. She always. She loves tea, as you guys were talking backstage, and so she wanted. Always wanted to do tea at the Fairmont.

High tea at the Fairmont. Yeah.

Nice.

And it wasn't a single mom.

Yeah.

And, you know, living in the Bay Area, the Fairmont, going to Fairmont for high tea. There was just no way that I could afford that. But always loved that idea of high tea. So I take my daughters to other places that were not the Fairmont and do high tea and, you know, just introduce that to them and just love that whole experience. But I said, one day I'm gonna go to the Fairmont. One day we're gonna have real high tea at the Fairmont.

And so I called the Ritz, and they said, we'll do it.

Because it.

Lined up more on the day that we were doing it. And so. And I had someone come in and.

Film it, but he filmed for two days of. Of us, and I had no idea he was following us. These. These.

Which is scary.

Looking back on it now. But he had all of these pictures that he put together in this video for us. But as he was getting ready. Because we love 11 11. And so we were counting down to 11 11am And I thought we were counting down just kind of like a, you know, New Year's celebration just. Just to be there and have high tea and enjoy it. And so he had his clock set up there on his phone. And there's this creepy guy with a camera walking around taking pictures of the walls. And I thought, that's interesting. We're counting down. It's 1109. And I'm thinking, okay, two more minutes. But what's this guy doing?

He had a stalker.

Are we gonna be attacked?

Yeah.

What is this guy? And no one else was in there again. And so he came over and said, it would be lovely to take your pictures. Okay, take it fast. But it's 11:10. Yeah. And he took the pictures. And he kept taking the pictures. And he started filming, I. I guess. And I said, chris, what's he doing? And it just kind of like hit me that, oh, my gosh, what's happening? So the video, My face says it all, because I had no. I was completely clueless.

That is awesome.

What a cool.

Thank you.

So. So at the end, as he put the whole video together, he put it together to our favorite song. And what is your favorite song?

I would love to hear.

It was. Well, we both deserve each other's love.

Yes.

Yeah, it's an old.

Kidding. I love it.

It's an old school song. But he put that music together with the video and all of the pictures of him, you know, following us around San Francisco the day before. It was very. It's just so touching. So sweet. So well thought out.

Let's move on.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, you guys. Like, I don't think I've heard this story, like, in all our conversations. So I'm like, this is so cool.

I love it.

When we do the movie, we're really see it.

Exo launches our movie studio. The first movie studio's most interesting couple.

This is it.

Chris and Paulette Monroe's story.

I just love it. Oh, my gosh.

I love that.

That is so neat.

Let me. I want to mention this really quick because I think I mentioned this to you in one of our first conversations. The moms in prayer. Do you know Dave's mom has been part of that how many years? She has the same group of ladies.

Yeah, the same group of ladies.

And I was going to mention that. It truly is.

It truly is.

As you were explaining that that was. It has been. I'm still involved in it. It is such a significant part of my prayer life and our. Of our lives together. We have walked through life. These moms in prayer. They. I came in at high school. My youngest was in high school. And those ladies had Been together since kindergarten. But now, I mean, we were all, it's just beautiful how all praying for our children, our school age children and how it's evolved. We are all in the same kind of the same places now. We were praying for our children as adults, children in college. Now we're praying, some of us are praying for children that are getting married, having babies and we're grandmothers. And it's just, it is beautiful. I have never been involved or met another group of women like this. And I just treasure every single one of my sisters. Yes, it is a very, very special group of women. So it was just so God for me to be praying for Erin, my youngest, as she was starting Nike, and then for her to say, hey, you know, and it was just, it was just all God, it was all God's hand to bring that path together. For Aaron to go to Nike and then for, for Chris and I to meet and him to have started that Bible study so many years before. So that Bible study is continuing. They started it really 25 years ago and it's still going strong.

What a legacy that really is.

Yeah.

Wow.

And so for us to meet that way was just such a blessing. Just God's hand was all over it. So very, very, very.

That's been a common thread in both of your lives. Is your faith really building community like in inspiring others? And that faith isn't a solo sport.

Right?

You know, it's just not. And so God calls us to, to do life and community and you guys are just amazing at building community around, around yourselves and people are drawn to you because of your authenticity and getting to see that and just getting to walk around the Nike campus with Chris and it's like walking around with Michael Jordan. It's like everybody was, everybody just, it was amazing and hang out with Chris. But it's just a testament to the encourager that you both are and the people builder that you both are. The folks are just drawn to you and a legacy that continues. And now we're blessed here at XO because they're continuing that legacy right here on this team through EXO Fitness, which I'm super excited about. They were talking to our president, Brent Evans about this just the other day and this is something that we've all been so excited about is creating a way for couples to experience faith and fitness together at the same. And in a way when I got to do it like again, like I said, and I didn't know what to expect and I thought this is amazing. Like I left that Day. So excited for people to experience what we had just experienced.

Wonderful.

I said. And on the drive home, you know, with, you know, sweat glistening on my brow and a little soreness, muscles tingling, I thought. I thought I said, I can't wait for other couples to experience what we just experienced. And so now it was really fun. You guys are able to. It just launched. It just launched on XO. Now you can go to xonow.com and, and tap into EXO Fitness. But, guys, tell us a little bit about, like, how this, how this vision and dream kind of started with you and, and what you hope couples get out of it.

Yeah, you know, we were at the XO conference a couple years ago and just so taken. I mean, of course, we'd seen it so many times at home and finally got to come to an exo. Exo conference. And we were just in awe of how everyone comes together. And as you said, it's. It's this faith is. Is the team sport. It's this collective encouragement. And to see couples. And of course, Jimmy Evans on stage and all of it, just to see all of these couples coming together to encourage each other to. To do their best and to run the race in marriage was just so inspiring. And so we talked to Brent after and, you know, we just kind of said it in passing, but it was truly on our hearts. Hey, how about if we did fitness and we did something with. With yoga. With fitness, because Brent had done yoga for many years before and he said, yeah, let's. Let's talk about it. And so that was the genesis, that was the beginnings. And we, you know, over the years kind of talked a bit more about it and planned and. And, yeah, it's just been a beautiful kind of evolution of how it's kind of unfolded in God's time. And we are just thrilled that this is taking place because this is exactly what couples need.

Yes.

Another way to come together and in a way that can be unintimidating, very unintimidating. And to understand there's a. There's a rhythm to each other and how they can do that together through very slow movements or maybe more rigorous if they. If there are a few that need that, there's going to be both, but a slow way to come together, to understand movement and breath. And I'm just really excited for what's going to. What's on tap for us.

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Wow.

Visit burlington.com coats for details. Yeah, you guys, it's so good. And I remember I told you, Paulette, that, like, I grew up dancing.

Yes.

And so the little bit of yoga that I had was usually through stretching, that they would use some of those yoga movements for stretching. But I hadn't done formal yoga, and I had the best time. Like, I cannot wait to go through all of these again. And one thing I want to point out that I think is so cool about how you do yoga is you did it through the guise or the lens of the Holy Spirit or the gifts of the Holy Spirit. And in the breathing, I remember specifically, like, we were doing goodness, and you were like, breathe in God's goodness. And you would use scripture for us to meditate on the scripture while we're breathing and while we're stretching. And so it's not only working your body, it really is a meditation practice.

Absolutely.

And, and there's just such power in that and the mind, you know, and the focus that you help people that you are leading to experience.

Yes.

And if you could just talk more about that so people can kind of, you know, understand how, how, how you do yoga and, and make it really focused on God.

So I, I'd like to think of it as prayer in motion.

Yes.

Yes. And it's, it's truly just that. And it could be a meditative prayer. Some people think of meditation as just sitting down, but there is no reason that we can't move in meditation. And so moving our bodies, honoring God with our bodies. You know, in any posture, whether it's raising your hands up on your knees, raising your hands up, or face down, or in any other posture that you might be facing down, there's. There is goodness. There is a praise pose for everything. And So I like to break it down in. In three. Into three sections. We pray first and pray at the end, of course, but we start with praise and pray, and then we come into some postures, some poses, and then at the end, we close it up by praying another prayer. And so it's. It's easy to break down like that, but there's just such richness and such goodness in moving in this way. And again, you don't have be still to meditate. And there's just. There's just so many ways that we can honor God with our bodies in a way that we can incorporate God's word and we can bring our spouses to do it with us. So that just was very natural for us to do together. Yoking, that breath and movement.

First of all, you're as fine as.

Yeah, just fine.

I'm just sitting here going, yes.

Oh, my God. Yeah.

What are we talking about?

He's had a little thing of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth the whole time you were talking. There you go. Yeah.

Before we started the podcast.

Yeah. He was licking the.

Chris even said, like, if he goes, I'm gonna get lost in Paulette's eyes if I have to stare at her the whole time. Because he's like, where do I look? And it was so sweet, and I just loved it. I love it, you guys.

He finds a way every day somehow to embarrass me some way every day.

So that's why I said, I want your dad to mentor me.

That's right.

You're sitting in the seat.

Sitting in the chair, Papa Lewis.

I know.

I love it.

Those of you who listen to Dave's Parents episode, if you haven't listened, please go back. We talk about the curling iron. Many of you who've been to the XO Conference from a few years back.

You know the curling iron.

Well, Chris and Paulette especially love that story.

Hilarious.

She was burned by it a few times. Let's just say.

She'S embraced the practice of the curling iron.

Oh, my goodness.

But the genesis of the Fruit of the Spirit, we start. She started doing that and saying that she was going to incorporate the fruit of the Spirit. And I'm like, well, we have to practice that at home before we do that. So we bought T shirts, we bought hats.

Oh, yeah.

And so every day we work out, we have one of the fruits on, and then we just kind of. And we could have different fruit on and just. We just say, you know, here's the scriptures that speaks to it. And and we're just trying to incorporate that every day in our marriage. Before. Before you can give out fruit to me out, you have to do it right before. First we get it through the spirit.

Right.

And then we have to share it with each other.

Absolutely.

And then we'll be able to take it out to other couples.

So I love that. Yeah.

And Jimmy said once that through all of these, the fruit. Do you want to be married? Yeah.

He went through, you know, love, joy, peace. And he said, wouldn't you want to be married to that?

I'm going, yes.

Yeah. Y.

You have to be that.

I'm like, oh, okay.

Absolutely. And we don't create those. They don't come from us. I mean, we. We can't have patience or anything that's lasting with joy or peace or love. It has to come from. And I have to be filled with the Holy Spirit with those gifts from God. And so that is what I mean. It just. It fits for us. It fits. And I know that so many couples can benefit from focusing on not just. I mean, any scripture is wonderful, but really focusing on those gifts that we can be filled with and then share those with our spouse. I think it's just. It's just beautiful.

No, it is. And you guys just embody that in every way. You guys are such a gift. We're gonna continue the conversation with Chris and Paulette. We're gonna actually have them stick around this episode to do our Q and A, which is my favorite part of every episode. So they're gonna weigh in on that. But we're gonna do a part two of this interview exclusively for our premium podcast subscribers. And you can be one of those by going to nakedmarriage.supercast.com and for five bucks a month, you're partnering with this ministry to help us create more resources. You get premium content, you get ad free content. And that's also the only place where you're going to be able to hear part two of this interview, where Chris and Paulette are going to be sharing some very specific ways that you can work to be healthier together in every part of your marriage. And so do not miss that. But we're not done with this episode yet because we're going to have question time. And as you guys know, every episode, we end by answering one of your questions, which we don't see until the very end. And so we've got help today in helping us to answer this question from two of our favorite folks. So here is today's question. It says, I've been attending church steadily for three years with my kids. My husband works on Sunday so he can't come with us, but he feels I'm forcing religion on him. That's not it. I just want us to work together on bettering our relationship. Should I leave him alone and do my own church thing or should I insist that he comes with me? It makes me extremely sad because the kids see it and so many folks are in the same position. And we just want to acknowledge the difficulty and frustration of the most important part of your life. Your walk with Jesus, not being at least outwardly a priority to your spouse. And that can feel so alone. Especially when the kids, when you're trying to raise your kids to know and love the Lord and they see one parent that just doesn't seem to care. Especially when that parents the dad. Because, you know, statistics show that, you know, if, if a dad doesn't seem to care or value church attendance or faith, kids are much less likely to. If the dad makes it a priority, the kids are much more likely to. And so God puts that kind of unique, I guess, responsibility on the shoulders of us as dads. But in your place as the mom who's working hard to be a spiritual leader in the void of not having one at home, wondering what do I do? Do I just kind of let my husband do his thing? Do I keep encouraging him, which he takes as nagging and it's creating more of a wedge. And there's, there's a lot we could say about this, but I'm going to just kind of open up the floor for you to hear not only from me, but I'm the fourth smartest person at this table. So, so, so we're gonna, we're gon. From others. So guys, what's your encouragement for this? This faith filled lady who, who wants, wants a Christian home and a marriage that prioritizes faith, but her husband just isn't there right now. What, what should she be doing before you weigh in?

But she said her husband works on Sunday too though, right?

Yeah, yeah, right.

That's a little bit of a challenge too that he has to go to work. But sweetie, it does.

I was going to say yes. So that is a very good, a very good point. I would say, you know, there is this point in their relationship or in couples relationships where we always will look to our husbands as wives for the leadership, but sometimes the wife may need to be the leader in this, in this position and may it, may it be sometimes temporary. I think that leading with Compassion, leading with love. And just giving all of this to the Lord verbally, just giving this and laying it at the altar at his feet can be very helpful. And not necessarily maybe coming back to speak to him about it in a negative way may be very encouraging. And just that may be, you know, part of the issue, too, is just the conversation to him may be a little bit hard because he already feels the burden. So it's more focused on her as opposed to, okay, I feel really bad about this. So if she just. Perhaps just leads with compassion and love and continues to take it to the Lord, he'll make a way.

I love that.

Yeah. So true.

You have anything else to add, Chris?

No.

That's good.

That's good.

And I'm glad you pointed out the work thing. I mean, this is a legit, you know, a logistical issue. I mean, and I don't know if he's able to change that or not. There are some jobs where, I mean, it's just a requirement for the job. And I understand that in his mind, he's probably like, well, this is what's required of me at my work. And I'm just trying to provide for this family in the way that I can. And it's probably frustrating to him with that. But I just want to reiterate what Paulette said. I think that nagging and I'm not faulting this wife. I understand she is frustrated. She's like, I just want our family to follow Christ. Like, I'm doing my part here. Why can't you join me in this? And she's not trying to be a nag. You know, I think that it comes from a place of a good desire. But I do think it's clearly not working. And so where she's saying, like, you know, should I insist that he comes with me? He's a grown man. I would not try to force that. I would encourage him and say, you're always invited. If you are off this Sunday, I'd love for you to come. If your church offers a Saturday service, maybe embrace that, because then he's not working. Or maybe if there's a special event at your church, maybe this xo, one of our XO events, where it's less intimidating. I think sometimes formal church service, especially for some men who've maybe had a negative experience, it can be so intimidating. And they don't like standing and singing. It just feels like an itchy sweater. It doesn't mean they don't necessarily love the Lord. I mean, we have. We have family Members who feel this way, like, they. They love God, I have no doubt, but they literally, they hate standing up, they hate the formality of a church service. And so I'm just saying, like, I. I don't think we always need to equate someone frustrated with formal church as being someone who doesn't love Jesus. But I do think that church is. It's the place we can go and be with fellow believers and grow in our faith. So I understand this wife's desire to want this for her family. So here's what I would encourage her to do. I think anytime your husband is showing that he is being a leader to your kids, in maybe being honorable for someone to look up to, maybe he's doing something that is like Jesus, point that out and tell him and say, you know what? Thank you so much for just, for working so hard to represent that to our kids, you know, that that just means the world to me. Or thank you so much for showing kindness to me, because I know when the kids see you being kind to me, they see Jesus. And, you know, it just warms my heart. I think that just pointing out what God is doing in your own life and also what you see in your husband will go a long way to really show him that you believe in him. I think right now he feels a little beat up and like he's missing the mark. And sometimes, and research has shown too, especially when it comes to men, if they feel like their wife just thinks they're not able to do something or is missing the mark, they kind of stop trying. I mean, I hate to say that, but we've seen that we have friends who've researched this, and if you can pull out the good things he's doing, he's more likely to keep trying, if that makes sense.

Yeah, that's. That's a great place to start. Focus on the good and keep praying. Yes, there's power in prayer. Pray for him. Let him know that you're praying for him. Not. Not in a, like, guilting way, but just like, you know, I pray for you today. I'm so thankful you're my husband, and I thank God for you every day. And. And through your example. You know, the Bible even talks about this through your example of just living out your faith. That might be the very thing God uses to really kind of win him over to seeing the value in coming to church.

And I want to add this real quick, too. Don't underestimate what your kids can do in your husband's heart, because God will use children to draw their parents to the Lord like nothing I've ever seen. I'm. I'm kind of part of that story. I mean, my parents, they, you know, they kind of came to the Lord a little bit later, and a lot of it was through them attending things that I was doing at church or me talking about what Jesus was doing in my life. And so again, what Paulette said about just surrendering it, I know it's really frustrating, and I just commend you, too, on. On still taking your kids to church, and I'm still doing this. You are amazing for doing that. But don't, you know, just. Just remember that God loves your husband even more than you do and has a plan for him. And he is working even when we don't know that he's working, even when we don't see it, man.

So, so good. Well, guys, thanks for tuning in. Check out Exo Fitness with. With Chris and Paulette. And not only them, but we've got others who are part of that as well. And we just think that this is going to be a really special way for you and your spouse to grow in your faith, your marriage, and your fitness all at the same time. You can go to xonow.com to CH and tune into part two of this interview.

Yes.

Which. Which is gonna be premium in every sense. So again, go to nakedmarriage.supercast.com and we will see you there.

Bye, guys.