12 Things Millionaires Don't Want You To Know

Welcome to this very special edition of the Dean Graziosi show. In today's turbulent, uncertain, somewhat scary times, you need capabilities now more than ever. To thrive, to start the business, to be secure when things change. To balance being a mom, a dad, a husband, a wife, someone who wants to start the business or transcend or shift their career. How do you fit all this in? While simultaneously the inner self doubt is telling you this isn't the right time. You're an imposter. Well, I sat down with my dear friend Jenna Kutcher. If you don't know Jenna, this is an amazing young lady who by all outside world opinions was successful because she went to college and got a job. But one day she woke up in her cubicle with no window and said, this is not happiness. This is not success. I can't take it. She bought a camera off of Craigslist or eBay for $300 and started a wedding photography business. She ended up being one of the best wedding photographers in her state. But then she took it to a whole other level and entered the digital economy, the information age, and started teaching other women how to be in business, how to run successful wedding photography businesses, and how to go to another level. Now Jenna runs a seven figure information business. She has a vacation house in Hawaii, one up in the mountains on the lake. She works from home. She's an amazing mom, connected, an amazing wife. Their family is fantastic. Their business is thriving. So who better than Jenna and myself to sit down and deliver you capabilities? This was a very special five part series we were doing for another project. But because the world has shifted and because you need this information now, over the next few weeks, we're going to be releasing all of them. I suggest you don't miss a single word. You grab a notebook, grab a pen. Because the dynamic of man and woman, different generations from different backgrounds, but all with the same desire to serve, impact and have freedom and success for ourselves. Make these some of the best interviews of my life. Now, without further ado, let's get to the Jenna and Dean podcast series. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here. Cheers.

Cheers to this one. We had to get the wine out. All right, so we are talking about 10 things. I mean, we'll see if we get to 10 after this. We'll probably get there. We're afraid to tell each other.

I honestly end the world.

I'm. Yeah, I kind of wanted to block that part. You go first.

Ten things. Okay, you know what's so funny? We were sitting Here we have so many great topics we want to share. And that one, you wrote that down, 10 things you're afraid to share. And soon as you said it, like I read, I was like, oh, I love this topic, love this topic. When I saw that one, I got a stomachache and I'm like, okay, we gotta do that one. Like that uncomfortable feeling that is usually you wanna run from, that's usually a thing you should be doing.

Yeah.

Right. So I think something like this, I'm just delaying before I share. My first one is. But it gives, I think it gives the world permission to realize that we're all so flawed, but we still can do amazing things. Yeah, I'm gonna start off, I think I'm gonna get deeper as I go. But one of them that most people know is I was broke 10 years ago. That's 10 years ago.

And you've been an entrepreneur for 30 years.

So 10 years ago when I say I was broke, meaning I owned a lot of real estate.

Yeah.

And I had a lot of monthly payments on those real estate and that real estate. And I made some bad business decisions, hired some wrong people. All I take full responsibility for it. But when you said before, we had a previous interview that we did about starting over is I felt like I was starting over 10 years ago. I had a 2 year old and I had one baby on the way and all my cash was gone, all of it. And I had real estate in a lot of different places and bills. So it was beyond broke. I remember being broke when I had no money and I didn't own anything. Right. So broke was like, I'm broke.

Nothing to gain, nothing to lose.

Right. Like if I didn't, I had no bills to pay. But. But I had nothing to get me ahead. That felt horrible. What felt worse 10 years ago was I thought I was going to have to file bankruptcy and I couldn't afford the payments. And I was, I was like my, I was waiting for my whole family. Like I knew it, like Mr. Big Shot, you went after it, now look at you. And I was in a, at the time, I was in maybe a million dollar house that I had a lot of equity and I sold the house. I sold so many things I had, I moved into a tiny little like 1400amonth house, rented house. And I was, I hid it from the world because I had made a lot of money by then. I was already on tv, I already had an infomercial, I already had a product. And I'm the guy going to tell the World how to be successful.

Yeah.

And I'm living off of now. I. I took the. I sold my house. I took that extra money, put it in the bank, and I was using that off the live to. To live off of. While I was writing my next book, I wouldn't let any of my friends come to my house. The people I say friends. I moved out here to Phoenix, so I didn't have childhood friends. I had new business friends. I remember I went on a fishing trip with one of them and he's like, I'll drop you off your house. I'm like, you know, just drop me off at this. My family's going to meet me at this restaurant. Like, I maneuvered a lot. I didn't even tell a lot of my team. Mike, you were with me at the time. I didn't even tell my team that I was using credit cards to pay their salaries, like, down to nothing. And I was embarrassed and regretful and it was the greatest. All of that was the greatest experience of my life. You know, I didn't have to file bankruptcy, and I found a way. I used credit cards and juggled money and home equity lines of credit and sold my house and just maneuvered all this stuff and wrote a book and came out. So I don't want to give the story, but that was embarrassing to tell the world. I told people I was struggling 10 years ago, but I was down to nothing. Like, nothing. Zero.

I didn't know that.

Yeah.

Ooh, we're going.

Yeah.

You wanna know what I'm afraid to tell you? Yeah, I'm actually afraid to tell you.

Yeah.

Like, I'm at a place that I don't know if I really want to get bigger, you know, like, I'm not afraid of success, but, like, I'm really comfortable where I'm at. And I think that with more, like, with more comes more criticism, more eyes, and I just. I don't know, I just. I love where I'm at and I don't want to grow. And that's the first time I've ever felt that way in my life.

Wow.

Isn't that weird?

I don't think it's weird, you know, so I would understand. Especially because you're around now, especially more than ever. Your peers change, so you're around high achieving entrepreneurs like, go, go, go, go, go. But just if you don't mind me sharing some. I'm not trying to give you a lesson. This is about just sharing. But maybe this will resonate with people. Listening is. I had someone Tell me once. There's three types of entrepreneurs. One is an entrepreneur that wants to work under. I consider these three guys right here working with us, filming us, and recording us. Entrepreneurs. They just work under my umbrella. These guys come up with their own decisions. They run their department. He tells me what to do if we're doing a vlog. Mike tells me to, like, I want my whole team to be entrepreneurs, but they're protected, right? And a lot of them do their own thing, you know? So then there's. Second, there's a lifestyle entrepreneur, and that's my buddy Dean Jackson. Dean Jackson wants to net 50 grand a month, and that's. He doesn't want to make a penny more because of 50 grand a month. Allows him to golf, like, 20 times a month.

I think I'm a dean.

Yeah. And he, like, he dresses the way he wants to dress. He does the thing, like, he just has this lifestyle, and it costs him $50,000 a month. He said his dream was to live like an artist with a trust fund that paid him 50 grand a month. Right. So he does just enough to get there, and he's, like, the happiest guy in the world. And I think a lot of people team. My team members are happy. He's happy. And also, I know I'm the obsessive one. My buddy Tony, like, Brendan, like a lot of those guys, it's not about a number. It's about the next hill, Right? Like, I climb that mountain, it's like, oh, this was great. I take about 14 seconds. Like, maybe 14 seconds is, like, being nice. And then I look for the next mountain. Right? It's just the way I'm. So. I think. I think that one. I could see how you'd hesitate, but I also just like, you have to do what's right for you. And how blessed is that you can get to a place where you can be with your daughter, you be with your husband. Like, so. And maybe that's where you are for 10 years. You have a couple kids, and then 10 years, then you go, okay, time for the next mountain.

Yeah. It's just funny because I just feel like people are always like, what's next? And it's like, I don't know. I don't know.

Pay me nothing.

I don't know. Yeah. I mean, honestly, my goal for this year, and I'm not afraid to say this, but my goal for this year was to make enough so that I could shut down any day of the week. Like, I never had to show up for anything that was my goal, and it really wasn't that much. Like, I just wanted to. Like, if any day I woke up and I was like, I'm done. I can be done.

That's it. That's a really good goal. Yeah, I don't think that's. I don't think there's anything wrong with that one, but I could see.

Yeah. All right. Cheers to you. Let's go.

Cheers. That's my turn. We didn't plan these in advance, just so you guys know. This wasn't, like, we made a list of 10. I'm just like, oh, cheers. I have to take a sip now. I would say that it sounds like a. It sounds like a really big one, but I still. I'm still that insecure kid. Like, I was really small in school, and we didn't have money, and we moved a lot, so always trying to make new friends, Always small, always insecure, and we didn't have money. And I've never shaken the fact that I'm. I've never said this out loud. I'm like, I'm blessed. The house I'm in, the life I have, I am not just successful. I'm really smart with my money. I have lots of money. Right. I don't mean that, but I have a fear of going broke. I know it's not like a normal fear. Like, I could. Like, I would have to. Like, especially over the last 10 years now when I say I was broke 10 years ago, I built all the experience. I had all these assets. I had a great company. Just the cash was gone. Yeah, right. The cash was gone, and I had to sell everything just to keep the doors open. Yeah, right. Mike, who's sitting here right now, worked for me back then. You did? You know or kind of know? Not really. Yeah. Not the specifics. He said, like, I think my team knew, but I was, like, not telling anybody, but I had all that. But I have an innate, like, complete.

Does that drive you? Is that what drives you?

I think so. It's one of the drivers I have, and I don't know if it's healthy, but I've never gotten rid of it. Like, I'm. I have a feeling that I'm going to make a mistake, and. And that goes along with the fear of being broken. I had a fear for, like, I had a fear for a long time that people would figure out I'm not that smart. Like, maybe that's that childhood thing of feeling because I had dyslexia and couldn't read.

But I think Everyone feels like an imposter.

Yeah.

I guess it's like you were waiting for somebody to say, like, I found you. Like, you're not supposed to be here. This isn't yours.

Oh, yeah. Why are you in this room?

Yeah, you were.

So I have to tell you. I'll take. Can I tell you a quick story that fit right into this? So about. Oh, my God, 20 years ago. I know it sounds craziest, but even before your time, do you remember that there was a band, Motley crew.

Yeah.

And Tommy Lee was a crazy drummer. Yeah. Like they're retro locked down. That was.

He was married to Pamela Anderson, so.

Pamela Anderson. Tommy and Lee are married. And this is 20 years ago. I started a website that was like. I don't know, it's like. It's like memes of today. It's like news that they wouldn't play. That was funny or horrific or whatever. Or whatever. It was all this crazy stuff. So I partnered with somebody, we went and bought news footage that they wouldn't play on tv, and we created a website. One of the first pay per view websites that ever existed ever. In history. Yes. I've tried a lot of things. Right. Never shared that either. And Tommy Lee signs up for it, and he's like, dude, this is amazing. And I'm like, tommy Lee signed up for my $19 a month website. So I'm like, being the entrepreneur, you would have done the same thing. I'm like, hey, guys. Hey, Tommy. This is awesome. Glad you're here. But what you don't realize is we have one of the first portals. This is over 20 years ago. 25 years ago, I said, if you and Pamela created a pay per view website, we're not pornographic. Just like behind the scenes. What do you do before you get dressed, before you go on stage? Like, if ever they were the hottest couple in the whole world, imagine like the. The new Marilyn Monroe, kind of like the Baywatch girl and the bad boy rocker if they had a behind the scenes before. This was before reality tv.

Right.

So I'm gonna make this story as short as possible. Long story short, he's like, oh, that would be badass. You should tell my attorney. And he hooks me up with his attorney, David Rudick. I get on the phone with this guy. I'm a nervous. I'm in my collision shop in Marlborough, New York, a town of 6,000 people. I'm in my collision shop on the phone with David Ruddick, who's like one of the top attorneys in all of Hollywood. He Invites me out. I literally fly out there shaking. I sit in this room with David Rudick. I tell him the whole thing. And I don't pretend to be anybody. I'm not. I own a collision shop, but I'm always hustling. He goes, let's do it. Dinner tonight. Me, you, Pamela, and Tommy. We're doing this. We're gonna celebrate. We're doing this deal. I said, you could have a million people paying you $19 a month. And I laid out this whole thing. He loves it. I go home. I'm in this hotel. I'm like, cheers. And I'm like, oh, my God, I made it. The little me is, like, proud, right? And he calls me back. He goes, hey, before we go dinner tonight, their manager stopped by. He wants to just talk to you real quick. I'm like, okay. He goes, yeah, come on down. So I go back to David Rudick's office. It's on Sunset Boulevard. It's overlooking the Strip. No exaggeration. Like, on fire, but nervous. I walk in, and I walk in like, hey. And this guy says to me, so I just got to ask you something. I'm going to just say it. Like, he said, how the fuck did you get in this office? And I was like. I thought he was joking. I'm like, like, how did I get here? He's like, no, how did you get in here? I did a quick background check. What are you worth, a million dollars? You got your little collision shop, and you think you're going to do business with Tommy and Pamela? You know what you're going to do? You're going to get on your plane and you're going to go back home because why the hell would I do this with you? And literally, I started shaking. Like, all my fears, this guy brought to the surface. And he didn't just let me off the hook. Like, he. He, like, nailed the coffin. Yeah. Like, you know that saying, like, how do you get the biggest building in town? Like, you either build the big work on yours or burn. Everybody's out. He didn't just knock mine down. He was, like, stomping on me. And David was like, hey, hey, hey. Like, the attorney was such a great guy, he was trying to stop him, and he just berated me. And I went home with my tail between my legs. And that's a whole nother story. I'm writing about that in my new book right now. But it brought back all that fear. And I think, as I even revisit that story, like, I've never. That's never left me. I'd love to say in all my personal growth, like, I think. I think I'm supposed to say, I, that was the way I was. But, like, it's still there. I'm afraid of going broke and I'm afraid of somebody saying, hey, how Dean. How'd Dean do a billion dollars of sales? He's not that smart. Like, we figured you out. Go back home. Go back to Marvel and work in your collision shop. I still have dreams that I'm working in my collision shop. I really do. Anyway, that's. I never shared that, so I love that.

Well, and I think that. I don't know, I just feel like the more you level up, the more that you're supposed to be like, that was then, this is now. But I think there are certain things, words, phrases, people in your life that it's like, on repeat.

Yeah.

You know, I mean. Okay. I'm afraid to tell you that I read all the negative comments. Like, I. You know, when they say, like, don't. Just don't go there. I like, consume it. And I have done it from a place of unhealthiness, and I feel like I'm transitioning to a place of healthy and taking true feedback and letting go of criticism. But I think as a female, I don't know a single woman who, if they knew the Internet was talking about them, they wouldn't pursue what that was.

Yeah. You know, I don't think that's abnormal as a guy. I read mine.

Do you? I hate people that say that they don't because I don't believe it.

I think they're lying.

I think they're lying, too.

And. And here's the thing. There's. There's always little bits of truth in some of them.

Yeah.

And some of them are just ruthless haters that are just mean. Like, there's mean stuff saying, like, especially with my fiance, Lisa, there's stuff that's just written. It's mean.

Yeah, right.

Because she's 33, but she looks 22, especially on camera. For some reason in real life, she looks exactly her age and beautiful on camera. She looks young. And people are just like. It's not like, hey, it's just. There's no other thing. But, Ruth, like you said, you said you had to feel like, we'll criticize your makeup or how you're dressed that day. Men don't usually get that. And I'm seeing that when I'm with her. What women are saying, the way our.

Bodies look, the way our Skin, I mean, like you are too much or not enough constantly. And I read every single thing. And it's interesting. Cause it can get addicting to me. Cause I'm like, are they gonna say something? Are they gonna say something? But then I have to check myself. Like, where's the power?

Wow.

It's interesting though. But most people don't admit that they read that stuff. And I think you're a fool if you don't. Cause like you said, there's some good stuff outta there where it's like perception and. But I read everything.

All of it. All right, I'll give you one that never ever shared. Afraid to share. In 2014, 2013 and 2014, my live event business that I was partners with. The live event business. When I say live event business. So my brand, my marketing, my strategy. So people go to a live event, we still do a small portion of them. Not like we did. Then people go to a live event and they get. Whether I'm there or not. Some, some of them I go, some I can't. And if I'm not there, they'll get video training of me and then they'll get a trainer to give them strategies and then they'll offer them, say, how to get real estate education. Yep. Best education on the planet. But so 2013, just think we, we, you and I talk about the, the entrepreneurial journey, right? The hero's journey, whatever you want to call it. The failure, the up, the down. I talk broke. It's the roller coaster. So picture you're going your whole life, right, as an entrepreneur. You're not starting more. Now you're 30 years in as an entrepreneur, you lost your money twice. And now all of a sudden you want to make an impact on the world and make money. 2013 or 14, my brand breaks $200 million in sales in one year. And I got so scared, I pulled the plug. What? And when you were there, you remember that, Mike? I pulled the plug on it because I got nervous. There was so many people representing my voice. So just to be completely quality control. No, I couldn't. It was like I felt like I used to own. Like what's a high level steakhouse? Like a Ruth's Chris or like a high end steakhouse. Now It's Outback or McDonald's.

Yeah, right.

And doesn't mean that it's crappy. Like it was crappy meat. But there was so many people representing me to do $200 million in a year. That means there was, there were. We were doing 85 ready for this? 85 Dean live events. A week.

A week? Oh, God, I thought you were going to say a year.

There was 75, 750 people on my brand, and I gave messages every day. I sent videos to the team. But I woke up one morning and I said, what if people are misrepresenting me? Like, I have a heart. You know me a little bit. I have a heart to serve. I love being successful, but I have a heart to serve over everything else. Like, I want to impact lives, and I want to get paid well to do it. I don't. Not cheap, like. Like, I don't mind charging a lot for what I do, but I want to impact lives. And I just woke up one day, and I literally, like, had anxiety over it. Like, what if they're not saying the right thing? What if they're not delivering the right thing? What if they're making promises? What if someone has to pay their mortgage that month and they're going to push sales too hard? And all of a sudden I'd get feedback that week that, like, oh, I went to one of your events and this guy told me I'd be a loser unless I bought this. And I got so freaked out that in this is 2014, I pulled the plug on it. I worked my whole life to get to, like, you would think, oh, my God, you're at $200 million a year, your company, your brand. And I went and talked to my live event partner, who's one of the sweetest guys who cares as much as I do, knows how to run a big company. Like, he knows how to do the processes and the systems. And I said, I want out. And over six months, we turned the whole campaign off, and I shut off the most money I'd ever made in my life. And it's the reason I wrote Millionaire Success Habits, because I wanted just to give to people. I dumped everything in that book, and I'm not promoting my book. It's heading towards a million copies right now. I just dumped my life because I just want to give back. I just want to give back. I went in this. Give, give, give, give, give. And anyway, now I'm in a different space. But, yeah, I turned off everything I ever dreamed of. I thought I hit it, and then I shut it off.

It's not funny. It's like sometimes those like. Like, we set rules for ourselves of, like, what is success? When will I be happy? When is enough? And then we hit them, and then it's like, transition, pivot change. Yeah, always. Okay, here's one I'm not passionate about the subjects that I teach on. So Instagram, Pinterest, email list building. I really don't care about them. I care about what it gets people. So when people talk to me and they're like, you're an Instagram expert. I, like, laugh because I'm like, instagram is an app that has us all addicted and going for dopamine hits. And I really don't care about Instagram, but I do care about the results.

People get with what you give them.

Which is probably why I've struggled with selling programs, because Pinterest and Instagram and all of that is awesome, but I'm not passionate about that. But I am passionate about the things I teach inside of that. And it reminds me of things you've told me of, like, give people what they think they want, but teach them what they need. But I hate when people tell me, like, you're an expert in these things because, yeah, I'm really smart at them, but, like, I don't want people to be addicted to their phones. That's like, the opposite.

Yeah.

Isn't that funny?

That's a really good point.

Yeah. So it's, like, hilarious to me because I make my money and all these things. And the thing is, is that my courses are so good. Like, they are so good. And, like, I see people's lives change, but I don't see them changed in, like, oh, I got another thousand followers. That happens. But, like, people are like, I have a story, or, like, I showed my face and I didn't Photoshop it. Things like that, that matters.

So you know, you know that my nephew, like, literally is, like, in the photography business. And so this is horrible, but I don't know all the details, but my nephew graduated top of his class, went to college, graduated top this class. And bio. Bioscience. Bio. What's his degree? Oh, my God. One of the hardest.

Biochemistry.

Biochemistry. He could be a rocket scientist. Like, he went through everything and graduated top of his class. And he got done. He's like, it won't fulfill me. I want to be a wedding photographer because I get to see smiles. I get to see the birth of something new. He went on a mission to South America with his Christian church, and his life changed forever. He gave his life to missions, he gave his life to serving. And he donates, like, 30% of every dollar he makes goes back. Just something snapped. And he's the happiest guy in the world, but literally, I give him jobs. So I have him come to my yearly events and my live events. And he's like. And all of a sudden, he was saying, jenna and Jenna. I'm like, couldn't be. Couldn't be. And he's like, yeah, my business has doubled because of Jenna. And I'. I'm like, are you talking about Jenna Kutcher? He's like, you don't know her, do you? Like, what a small world.

Isn't it crazy?

So I know the impact you're making, and I know it's mostly women, but not my nephew.

It's so. I know. It's just funny to me because it's like, what I'm passionate about has to be delivered with the shiny. And I get that as a marketer, the shiny is, the more followers. But when I tell people, like, no, I would love for you to log off of Instagram for the weekend. That's what I would teach you to do. It's just different.

All right, So I. I would say that was a really good one because it made me think. I don't like teaching real estate anymore.

Yeah. And why won't you pull the plug?

Because my real estate courses are the best that exist, and there's a lot of crap out there, probably the same way you feel. It's like if. And if. If mine's not available, if my training is not available, they might get sucked into something else that doesn't serve them. And when I say I don't like teaching, it's not that I don't like real estate. I still do real estate, but I'm not in the trenches doing it anymore. I pay people to do it.

Yes.

So it's the reason I partnered with a lot of people, too. But I'm not super passionate because I don't want to. I don't want to seem fake. And the truth is, when I. Like when I teach, I go, hey, I'm not personally doing this anymore, but I still know that if people follow what I do, I can help them. And I don't know if someone else is going to care. Like, I care because I've been in it for so long. Right. And I'll just kind of expand that. The truth is the first something that I'd be scared to tell you is probably the first five years that I taught on infomercials, I didn't really give a crap about other people as much as I do now. Like, here's what I thought. So when I say that, that seems like I just wanted to sell crap. No. I created something amazing, and then I thought to myself, I created this, it's amazing. If you don't want to use it, screw you. Give me your money. Give me my money. If you follow it, it works. If you don't, c' est la vie. Your choice. And that's how I felt. And it was all about create something good, sell the hell out of it. It's their choice and I didn't care. Like I care now. Now I'm obsessed. I want every. You feel the same way. It's like, what do you mean you didn't use it? I will. Like you just did with Knowledge Business Blueprint. You followed people and made. I'm live in Facebook group every other day. I'm sending emails, I write long copy. I'm like, I just did a training. I don't know if you said that. The silent minority, the ones that are sitting on the sidelines, we had hundreds and hundreds of comments like, that's me, that's me. Like, now I'm obsessed with getting everyone engaged. But I wasn't and I'm not sure I cared.

It's good. I think a lot of people say start because of the results, but not results for others, but results for themselves. Mine is that I am imperfectly leading women, but I struggle with relationships with women. I think it's really fricking hard to make friends as a woman these days, especially at like the level that we're at. So I think that we're just going to keep going.

Yeah, for sure. Let's just keep going.

We're rolling, rolling with the homies.

And plus, your wine is gone.

I know. No, but I think making friendships as a woman these days is like impossible.

So why tell me? So I can really understand.

Because, well, one, I just assume that people won't understand me. So I'm faced with friendships that are either one sided because people follow me and they think they know everything about me, or two, their life is so different from mine that I trick myself into believing that they couldn't understand my point of view. So I have better relationships with men and I would rather hang out with businessmen and I'd rather learn from men mentors because I would rather learn strategy and like stay in tune with my own emotional feelings and authenticity. But I think, man, like, I could make all the excuses in the world. We moved a year ago, then I got pregnant. We, we live in Hawaii half the year. You know, I have all these excuses of why female friendships are hard, but they're just fricking hard. I have like a very tight circle and it's like, you know, three college friends, a few high school friends, and maybe two industry friends. And that's it.

All right, so I'll just go. Keep going with that one because it's good. I've lived in Phoenix for over 15 years.

Yeah.

I don't have one friend here. I have one.

Why?

John Langbein is a great guy. And when I say a friend, that means we have coffee every three months. I have one friend from high school that I see three times a year because he lives in New York. And then I have. I have industry friends that are partners because we're so in alignment that it's easy.

Yeah.

Like, so I want to. That's the benefit side. That probably not so good side is like, I'm a. The world would think. And I would say the same with you. And maybe you are, but the world would think I'm an extrovert.

Oh, yeah.

I'm an. I'm an introvert extreme. I'm good on camp. I'm good on camera because it's me to a lens. I'm good on stage because it's me to an audience. But get me at a function, a fundraiser where people want to talk to me. And I leave, I hide, I go in the corner. If I go to. If I bring my kids to a. And now they're old enough, I could drop them off.

Yeah.

But if you bring. I would bring my daughter to a birthday party, a three year old birthday party. I'm the. Like, I can't handle the talk and meeting everybody and asking what I like. I would be the dad where I was like, he's such a good dad because I'm always playing with the kids. I'm playing with the kids because I don't want to talk to anybody. And I hide. I hide. I hide at parties. If anybody ever knows me, I'm the guy in the corner. I keep. It's short. People ask me what I do for a living and I say, I like being a dad. Yeah. I've been here 15 years. I don't have any friends here. So I get that.

And no need an episode on this.

And, and. But I have people like you and Brendan and Ethan Willis and Brandon Lewis and Tony Robbins and like people that I only see maybe six times a year, but when I do, it's like, it's like. And not faking it. It's like we're connected for that time. Yeah. And it's amazing. And that satiates it. Right. That's enough. Yeah. Right. I don't know.

Small talk kills me. Like, I can't. I actually, like, disengage.

Okay, so can we digress for one second?

Yeah.

Can you tell me what small talk sounds like?

How's the weather? How was your flight today? My flight went up and down, and we landed. How's the weather? It's hot. You were just outside. Don't. Like, if this is not going anywhere, if you are not, like, telling me about, like, your relationship or, like, the child you birthed or something with substance, I'm done. Because if I'm never going to talk to you again, it's not worth my energy. There are so many other things in the world that needs my energy, so that.

Is there a pattern? Like, is there small talk for women and small talk for men? Oh, well, Drew, because I want to tell you. I want to tell you the small talk. I'm going to tell you the men's small talk.

Games, football, sports.

It's. Well, especially. I'm not into sports. So if someone says, oh, what about, like, yes, they'll start with sports. I'm like, oh, I don't do sports. So men. And this sounds like I'm bashing men. It's not. I'm just bashing this small talk. But men, it's either sports, what you do for a living. Like, guys. I feel like guys really want to say, like, how many women did you sleep with? And how much money do you make? Like, I feel like. And. And I have this, like. Like, I have almost, like, a chip on my shoulder. I'm waiting for it. And I'm like, not mad. Mad's a. Like, I'm just so over it. Over it. Like, and guys will literally say, especially if a guy recognizes me, and he'll be like, so, what do you do? You write the books? I'm like, ah, you know, I just love being a dad. I coach the little league. And I'm like, yeah, but what do you do when you're not doing? I'm like, well, I coach softball, too, and I'll, like, be an ass. I will never. Like, I wish someone could. I will not give you what you want. I won't give it to you. I'm not gonna tell you. Like, I don't know. And I. And I'm so opposed. Like, I'm so, like, appalled to it that I stay away from it. And I'd much rather be here. Like, I'm. You came. I'm building. Like, I want my kids to be here, too. Like, I'm building a Baseball thing and a soccer thing, like, you know. Yeah, I don't know. So. Yeah, I'm not the best at that either.

No.

Okay, well, all right, back to you.

I. Oh, I had a good one. Hold on, I have to think for one second. Crap. I had a really good one. One second. Oh, I know. I hate when people act like my job is a hobby. This probably doesn't happen to you as much. So we'll be in Hawaii.

That would drive me nuts, too.

And people will say, well, what do you do? I'll say, oh, I run one of the top business podcasts on itunes or things like that. But a lot of times people don't quite understand that. So then they'll say, oh, well, what does your husband do? Oh, that.

Oh, you just turned my spirit.

Spirit. And the best part is, is that I've married a man who can, like, stand in his truth, and he's like, I stay at home for the kids. Like, my wife retired me. But I mean, it is anytime I say what I do or reference, like, the life that we live, it's never to my benefit. It's always, what did your husband do? Or your husband must have a job that allows you to travel. Things like that. That, like, I don't even like to tell people what I do or anything about ourselves because I know that the idea is that it's a hobby. I've been told my job is a hobby.

Wow.

Isn't that funny?

That makes me mad.

Yeah, I know. It makes me really mad. And then I just smile. So now I think I want to introduce myself and just say, I'm the CEO of a multimillion dollar company.

Yes.

That people would take me a little more seriously. Hey, yeah.

But wouldn't it. Isn't it more fun, like, messing with people? Yeah.

Yeah.

No, seriously, it is more fun to mess with people.

Well, yeah, because it's like, I don't know. I mean, I could tell people, like, I'm a lingerie model, because I do.

Yeah.

But, like, they can take that for what it's worth. I mean, I could give anyone anything I do. And they can make assumptions, but sometimes I just want to get them off the assumption. Train a little faster.

That's a good one.

Last one. Let's end with some good ones.

Gosh.

I guess on the spot.

Yeah, let's do. I'll do one. It's who I am now. But there was a point where I thought. And I'd be scared to tell you this or tell the world, this is like, I Thought I had to dress better and, like, get better suits. And then I got to a point where my success was going good, and I'm like, no, I want to be me. And then there was this complete turn. Like, I wonder if people would accept me. Like, I wear nothing but T shirts. I have 40 of these T shirts. Literally maybe 60 of them. To be, like, it's obsessive. I have 20 pairs of Nikes, and I haven't worn a watch in six years, but my fiance bought me this, so I wear this. But, like, I dress down on purpose. I stand back on purpose. I play dumb a little bit on purpose to see how. Especially, like, okay, so we have men and. Men and women worlds here. You, I would love for. And maybe you've been in them. Of course you have, because you. You run big business. You know, you run a great business. But to be in a boardroom.

Yeah.

With just 10 guys around a table with all of them in suits and only me with a T shirt and a bracelet my daughter made. That's a dollar.

Yeah, right?

Like, men posture. More, like, so much. Like, and they all want to vomit who they are, what they've done. And. And, like. And I've. Okay, so I am, like, so turned off. I can't stand it. Like, I'm at this point where, like, when I see a guy with the. The monster watch that pulled up in his Lambo and he's got the shirt with the pocket tie, I'm just gonna be honest. I fucking judge. Excuse my language. I judge him before he gets in the room. Yeah. Like, and I do. And the truth is, I've never shared this. I can't wait to eat that guy alive. Like, it's my mission to feel bad about himself. Like, and that's. That's. I never said that out loud, but I do. And I don't do it, like, in a bravado type of way. I'm a listener. And you know what I listen for? I listen for his insecurities. And I wait and I wait and I wait. And when the time's right, I poke him right in the insecurity, and I watch him deflate. And then somehow I justify that. That's helping him.

Yeah.

Okay, so that's really terrible, but I just shared something, and maybe. Maybe that was like, the little kid got picked on. But, like, I try, and I don't do it as a game. I don't do it to go brag to anybody. I do it because I'm like, that person needs a. Like, he Needs a lesson. And I'm the last guy he thinks is going to give it to him. I'm the one that's going to freaking deliver it to him.

Love that. I think, though, we all can. I mean, sometimes I didn't even fly first class until this year. Like, I didn't give myself the permission to, like, spend my money in that way. Cause I was like, it doesn't give me more joy to sit in the front now it does. I'm like, give me the front so I can sleep. But I feel like we all do that sometimes where it's like somebody. You size each other up and you're like, why are they here? And then you kind of try to figure that out and nitpick it. I think my last one is just. I am afraid that, like, I don't deserve what I've gotten. Like, even though I've worked my butt off and I feel like nothing has been handed to me, I feel like, what life looks like right now. Sometimes I question, like, should I really have this? Which is crazy. So it's like that permission piece. Like I just asked my mom the other day. I was like, is it. Is it bougie if I only commit to flying first class from now on? And she was like, no, you've worked so hard. Like, I don't feel like I'm deserving of comfort or things like that because that's not what I came from.

Yeah. But I also, that's why I say that I feel like your humble power. But that's where it comes from. So I think that's a really great feeling to have. Get over it. You worked your butt off. You risked it. Right. Like when. What most people don't see is when you quit the, the. The secure job, corporate America job. When you quit that job and bought a $300 camera and worked your tail off to get 20 something jobs that first year. Like, this is the rewards of you planting those seeds. Like, you planted those seeds. You didn't know if it was going to rain. You didn't know if they'd sprout. You didn't know if they'd produce fruit.

Right.

Like, even though you planned.

Yeah.

You still didn't know it was going to be. And that's what's amazing about the world, about this country. I believe more than any place in the world. It's like, we get to do that, but you have to have the. You take the risk. And where there's risk, there's reward.

Yeah.

And you're just going to have to justify that in your head.

Lord help us. Well, I think we spilled the beans.

I think we did. I think that was good.

And I think what we need more wine.

Yeah. I think one more last would be good. You know what? Like, to end this. Like, what does an episode of sharing your 10 things you're scared to tell you tell the world? Like, what does that show? Like, as I'm sitting here, like, when we first thought about it, it gave me a stomachache.

Yeah.

But then I always think. And maybe I should think less this. I'm always thinking like, well, what is the end user gonna get out of it? And I'm like. Cause I'm always. I want to give a lesson, give a lesson, give a lesson. What are you gonna do at the end of this? What lesson are you gonna teach? But as I'm sitting here and as I'm listening to you, I think it's just permission. Like, and I had a breakthrough, literally, while I was listening to you and while I was sharing, I had a breakthrough. It's like, I wish someone would have told me, you don't have to be perfect. Like, you could screw up. You could go broke. You could feel insecure. You could read negative comments. You could feel like you don't deserve it. You could feel like you're not good enough and still be successful and still have a really cool life. Yeah. And if that's what we get out of this episode, then we rocked it.

I think so too. I think the whole thing is to make people feel more enough or less alone. And if one of those things even just tiny bit resonated, I think that the proof is in the pudding that no matter what level you're at, like, new level, new problems, but that is, you keep showing up. You give people permission to do the same. I think hopefully that's what we did.

I hope so.

Beyond that, we're just closer. I feel like we need, like, a handshake or something. I want a friendship bracelet.

Okay, let's do it. I'll have my daughter make a song. Thank you.

Until next time, friends. That's a wrap.

I had to jump back in here in the end. First off, to say, isn't Jenna awesome or what? And remember, what you learned today was from two people who've been there, who've been scared, who failed, and have also succeeded on levels we once only dreamed of. So take the notes and implement these strategies in your life. Remember, take what serves you. Throw the rest away. Also, if you don't already have a copy of my brand new book the Underdog Advantage. I didn't know this time in history was coming but this book was written for today's time. Learn how to take your disadvantages. Learn how to take lack of resources and create resourcefulness on a whole nother level. Learn why the most successful people throughout time were underdogs. So right now if you go to deansbook.com you can grab a copy of the Underdog Advantage and see how to turn those so called disadvantages that you have personally or because of today's times and turn them into your superpower. This book is pure fire. I bought several thousand copies. They're in my warehouse. I and I want to send you a copy for free. Free means I paid for the book. You cover the shipping and handling. Go to deansbook.com right now. Fill in your address so we know where to ship it, cover the shipping and handling and see why the world is going crazy over the Underdog Advantage. Yes, I'm a multiple New York Times best selling author, but this is my best book ever. Thanks so much for being a part of the Dean Graziosi Show. The next episode will be pure fire, so tell your friends. Make sure you leave us a message. And if you love this episode, remember we do this for free. So share it with friends, share it with family. Take a screenshot and post it on your ig. This is how we get our message out to the world to deliver capabilities when people need it the most. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it and also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. Remember, all success starts here.