All My Success Comes Down To THIS

My favorite quote by far is from Winston Churchill. It's the definition of success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. All my experiences, all my failures, all my successes. It comes down to your habits, your values and your principles. Work on them and watch your life change. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi Show. All success starts right here. If you really look at the people who evolve, who reach their full potential, who are at the next level, some people might say they admire them or even have envy for them. It's those who can handle the failures they can handle when things go wrong. I remember reading many years ago an article about Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx, and how she had multiple failures before Spanx. In fact, I think even a bankruptcy, don't quote me on that. But when the reporter was asking her, how did you handle those terrible failures, those, those, those things that went wrong and still be able to rebound? In my opinion, reading the story, she was almost like dumbfounded that he would ask such a silly question. When she replied and said that growing up, her dad would ask her multiple times during the week, in fact even, maybe even once a day what she failed at today. And if she said nothing, then he would say, well then you obviously didn't push yourself far enough. You were obviously playing it safe. People fail when they push to the limits. And what happened was she changed what failure meant to her at a really early age. She realized, which most every successful person does, that failure is the building blocks to your success. Failure must occur in order to reach your next level. Listen, I've been blessed to go from broker than broke to doing amazing things in my life and generating hundreds of millions of dollars, blah blah, blah, blah. But what I realized is that my biggest wins were on the back of my biggest failures. I'm going to tell you another story. My daughter is 11 years old at this time and she pitches softball and she's amazing. And this year she bumped up to the 11 and 12 year old girls, right? So year before she was in the 9 to 10, she was a 10 year old, crushing it. Now she bumps up. The girls are a lot bigger. My daughter's kind of short, but, but she practices hard. So the season starts and my daughter comes out of the gate doing amazing. In fact, she starts or plays pretty much every single game and she's doing great and then great and then a win and then good. And all of a sudden one day we go to a game and she has the worst game ever. She can't find a strike, she can't I mean, literally walking batters embarrassed. She's on the mound and she's looking over at her coach, waiting to get taken off the mount. She's like, urging her coach to take her out, and she does it. The game gets over. My daughter walks with me, she's crying. She's got tears coming down her face. We walk behind my car and she's like, dad, Dad, I can't take this. I can't do it. It's too much pressure. She literally said to me, dad, this is too much pressure for an 11 year old. I let my entire team down. I let my coach down. The whole game was relying on me, and I failed. And I said, wow, that's really tough. I know, babe, I can imagine. I said, I. All those times you won, you loved it, but this is the opposite side of it. So I said, here's a couple things, babe. She goes, I don't think I can do it. I want to quit. I said, you can, and I'll support whatever decision you want to make. But I want to tell you that that's what most people do. They try something and when it goes good, they love it. But the first time, pain, the first time it hurts, first time you fail, first time you lose, first time people look at you sideways like, how could you let us down? They retreat. And that sets a pattern for their whole life. They're afraid of failure. What I believe, Brianna, that's my daughter's name, is today could be one of the most valuable games you've ever played in your life. Today could be the biggest lesson of your life. Today could create a foundation where failure is a part of your momentum. Failure is part of your success, not the opposite. So I said. And she's like, dad, I don't know if I want a lesson right now. And I get that she's 11. Dad's giving her a lesson. This is what I do for a living. I can't help it. So I said, I get that, babe, but just stick with me here for a minute. You have a couple options right now. You can quit, or maybe there's some solutions that can empower you that you never want to feel this way again. What are some other things you can do? And literally tears coming out of her eyes. I could go to my coach twice a week instead of once. I'm like, hey, that's pretty strong. I said, and she got, like, a little more excited. I said, what else? She goes, will you practice with me like four days a week? Because my coach said if I Want to get better. I. I gotta do four days a week. I'm like, I'll leave work anytime you want if you want to pitch to me. And she's like, okay, listen. When I look back, my daughter had the biggest growth of any win. She had win after win after win. Absolute failure, Absolute horrific, sad, stressful. She grew more from that one terrible game than she did from all the wins because all the wins didn't teach her anything. And that is the impact we have to feel in our lives. If we can shift and realize that the definition of success is going from failure to failure without losing our enthusiasm, then all of a sudden we just want to fail as fast as we can to get it out of the way. And here's what I believe, I believe with all of me, and I share this a lot because it's so important, is that we all have to pay success tax. And the tax is the failures and overcoming them. We have to pretend there's an auditor up in the space, in sky, in heaven, whatever you want, believe. And they're watching our failures. They watched my daughter fail at that game. She's only going to get good when they go, yep, check. She had that bad game. She didn't give up. Check. She wanted to come out of the game. She wouldn't let it. She didn't argue with her coach. Check, check, check, check. And then success follows. If you want to, if you want to play in a band, you would be so excited to be able to play in front of 50,000 people, a packed stadium, all singing your songs, jamming in front of everybody. But you don't get to do that unless you work hard when no one's watching. You get everybody watching and eyeballs to win the game or play the concert or make the money. That only happens because you play when no one's watching. And usually you fail miserably. You have to pay the success tax. You have to. If you're out there jamming in front of 50,000 people. I bet to say you showed up at a gig many times where no one showed up. Absolute failure. But you still got up the next day and practice same thing in your life. We want more money. We want more freedom. We want more choices. But most people aren't willing to go through the failures, aren't willing to take that research and development, that knowledge that we get from failures, learn what not to do, what to do, let the rest pass, and then continue with enthusiasm to your next venture. The quote for me that makes the biggest impact, the definition of success by Winston Churchill is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. That's the definition of life. Know that those failures are just fine tuning your acts. They're sharpening your pick. They're allowing you to go faster and quicker by learning from your mistakes and learning what's right. And the most successful people I know know how to rebound fast, learn from those experiences and keep pushing forward. I wish someone did it for me. I wish someone would have pounded into my brain when week after week after week that it's not the end game. It's not the magic money machine. It's not the invention you come up with. Success starts at your core. Success starts with the right habits, with the right principles, with the right values. Everybody's trying to plug in the get rich quick schemes on top of the wrong foundation, on top of the wrong rules. And then you wonder why you go from opportunity to opportunity and you never go deep, you never make the money, you never become a millionaire, never become financially independent. I will scream from the mountaintops. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's the success I've been blessed to have. But I obsess on looking backwards, understanding what got me here. It wasn't cars when I was in high school, it wasn't cutting firewood when I was in early high school. It wasn't real estate. It wasn't building houses or renting houses or flipping houses. Yes, that was the end result. Writing books, creating courses, doing live events. Yes, that was the end result to massive success in my life. Blessed beyond belief. But if I go upstream, if I really look at what got me here, what powered through unsupportive parents or friends, or not having money and not having a college education, not feeling that smart, not having the confidence in some cases had nothing to do with those. And today I want to talk about the power of projection, the power of writing down an incantation, as Tony Robbins likes to talk about writing down a phrase, your power phrase, something you can say, but it hasn't happened yet. I know that sounds weird, right? I'm sure you've maybe heard of the secret and manifestation. I get all that, but that's kind of not the rules that I follow. I know that there has to be action taken in order to get to the end result you want. You could say, I'm a millionaire, I'm a millionaire, I'm a millionaire. I have freed, I have joy. But if you don't get your ass off the couch, if you don't take action, if you don't put the thoughts in your mind into play. Then it's something you're just going to be talking about for the rest of your life. So I love the fact of projecting. I love the fact of pretending it's a year from now and thinking through what the best year of your life is like and feeling it. Let those emotions hit. But then you got to go out there and take action. So I wanted to share with you, really raw what's on this page. This page in front of me. If you're watching video, you'd see it. But I'll just talk about it because I'm only held it up for a second anyway. In 2017, 2016, 2017, I went through a divorce. Didn't tell anybody, didn't tell the world. It was so frightening to me. I can't even tell you. It was frightening to me because I love being a dad. I love seeing my kids every single day. I knew the relationship wasn't right. We both knew for a very long time. We were both petrified. Well, when the divorce was actually happening and I actually moved out of the house, I got anxiety, I got fears, I got worries. Things from my childhood. My parents were married nine times when I was young, and that obviously left an impression, left something that I bottled up. Like picture a champagne bottle that I tucked in. All the fears, all the worries, all the loneliness, missing my mom when she moved away. All. All those things, I tucked them down into this champagne bottle and I put a tight damn lid on it. And I found a way to thrive through business, through life, through obsessing on personal growth, obsessing on success, getting good friendships and relationships in my life. And I ignored that part for a gazillion years. And then all of a sudden, when I faced divorce, I faced leaving my kids and waking up in a house, and they're not there. It was like the top of the champagne bottle popped off and it all came flooding out like, oh, my God. In my head, I'm like, I work on this every day. I write books on it. This is who I am. And then I go visit my friends, people that I'm blessed to believe they're the greatest on the planet when it comes to taking your life to another level. And they expressed that they went through similar things and we all had to face it. So with that said, I did a lot of things to try to get through this. I focused. I couldn't think through it, even though I thought I could. I couldn't think through a better future. So I started writing down, you could call them incantations, you could start, you could call them whatever you want, future pacing, you could call them empowerment phrases. But I want to share with you what I wrote down in 2017. I feel love when I give love. Think about that. Instead of feeling love when someone gives it to you, I want to feel love when I give it. Look how look at that is. That's just the reframing of love. So many of us go through life and what's this got to do with success? Everything. Because if your internal's off, your external can't work, right? So for me, I said if I feel love, it's going to be because I give love, not because I need it, because I would feel like I'm going to be missing my kids. I'm not going to be in a relationship or whatever that is, right? I never here's, I'm never alone. This is my personal beliefs. I'm never alone because God is always with me. Then my next thing I said, all I need to be successful, I already have. I just have to turn inward. I wrote down I can get through this and will be a better father, a better man, a better leader, a better teacher. And I'll do the world a justice if I get through this. My next level, this is the next one. My next level of life is on the other side of this biggest fear. Face it. Fear is gone once you face it. Authenticity is the key to happiness. Think about that. Authenticity is the key to happiness. Yes. Blatant, obsessive authenticity. What's on your mind, what's on your heart. The bullshit has to stop. The COVID up has to stop. I knew that authenticity was the key to my happiness. I let myself love with no fear, love with resistance, love with worry could go away. Love with being upset. It's not real love, it's restricted love. Again, going back to the first one. I'm going to feel love when I give love, not when I receive it. So I might as well give the most love I possibly have to give. The next one I wrote down is I won't manage my emotions. I'll let them be raw, I'll feel them and I'll work through them. Think about that. Let your emotions be raw. Who wants that, right? You want to tuck it back in that champagne bottle? No, I saw what happened when the cork came off. Leave the bottle off. Let emotions come, feel it, process it and let them flow right through you. Now there's a lot more, there's four pages here, but I'm only going to Give you one more direction determines my destination. When insecure tell the truth. Now, why did I read you this? So personal. This was me. I've gotten through the biggest business deals you could ever imagine from that kid, cutting firewood and flipping cars. I've gone on to do incredible things and live a life I could have only dreamed of. But I don't know if I dealt with it on the depths in my personal life. When I look back at this and I wrote this in 2017, guess what? I didn't focus on this every day. I didn't directly create the path and plan on how to get these, but I took action immediately. I remember saying these for almost a month straight every day. And it was almost like the universe, God took over and started guiding me in those directions. Remember, I didn't just sit and say, when I give love, I'll feel love. When I give love, I'll feel love. I said it. But I was consciously aware that when I gave extra love to the people at work with me, extra love to my family, extra love to my kids, I said, wow. And I remember feeling goosebumps. So I was living it. I was taking action with it. I wasn't just talking about it. I want to tell you now, almost a year and a half later from writing this down, I do feel love when I give love. I never feel alone. When I used to. I think because my parents were married and divorced, I was alone a lot. I think inside I felt a fear of going to be abandoned. Just being honest. This is as transparent and raw as I can get. I don't. It's gone. All I need is with inside me. I know that I create my authenticity. I create my enthusiasm. I create my happiness. The world's not responsible for my happiness. My spouse or future spouse or kids, they're not responsible for my happiness. I am. And I can create it. My next level of life did live on the other side of my biggest fear. Turn your ship towards the thing you've been avoiding and face it and deal with it. Go through the storm. On the other side of the storm is the next level of calm, happiness, joy, abundance. Fear is gone when you face it. Authenticity. I've been more authentic in my life than ever before. I don't have one single secret. Nothing. And it feels so incredibly congruent to who I am as a man. How would that feel? Well, there's nothing. People just know you. You're not somebody different for a million different people. And if you could see why this is so important to your Next level of success, whatever that success means to you in your life, then make sure as soon as you're done listening, you go to subscribetodeen.com subscribetodeen.com and subscribe to this podcast. It's the only place you can get a bunch of free gifts and discounts and all kinds of cool stuff. Let myself love with no fear. I do unconditionally my ability to love. As much as I thought I had this empathetic, huge heart, loving heart, it's on a whole other level, because this is what I decided to do. I don't manage my emotions. And lastly, the direction I have is laid out. I know exactly where my future is. I know exactly what I want and what I don't want. And when I keep my ship pointed in that direction. That's the evolution of my life. I know this podcast was a lot about me today, sharing my story, my stuff. But hey, we're all so similar. We all face the same crap. And if I could find a faster way, if I could forge a path, if I could give you a roadmap through a spot in your life where you may feel stuck, where you may think it's. You need this magic money machine to get wealthy, when really you got to go upstream and fix the relationship. Be a better man, be a better woman than resolve issues. Let go of pain. I don't know what it is, but I know this. All my experiences, all my failures, all my successes. It comes down to your habits, your values, and your principles. Work on them and watch your life change. Remember, all success starts here. If someone would have told me in my 20s, maybe even in my 30s, that being a part of a group or being a part of a mastermind, where everybody's getting smarter is the fastest way to your next level, I would have said, whatever. I don't even know what that is. I don't understand it. The only way I can learn is by getting out there and doing it through my own trial and error. And wasn't I a fool? Listen, you are here because you want another level of success. And if I wasn't completely transparent with you, if I didn't open your mind up to new ways to gain knowledge, wisdom, and capabilities, if I didn't share my own stories, my own evolution, that I'd be doing a massive disservice to you, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I did not read one book in my 20s. Not one. I had dyslexia in school. When I tried to Read. I was so embarrassed. It kind of, it pushed me away from reading. I thought reading was bad. And here's the thing, I made massive gains in my 20s. I went from completely broke, no money, crazy credit card debt, no college education, to being a millionaire in my twenties, documented, or else I wouldn't share it here. And I did that by my own trial and error. I did it by massive amounts of failure, massive amounts of doing it wrong, massive amounts of stress, insane amounts of time obsessing and worrying and thinking and losing sleep over. Yes, I passed powered my way through it. I had grit. But what I wasn't smart enough to realize and what I want to share with you is I was a fool. Contrary to that, I have a 18 year old kid that works for me. His name is Ryan that I mentor and I teach. And he's a part of Masterminds and he is gaining the collective wisdom of people who have already experienced what he wants to do. So if I was going to borrow down what a mastermind is. A mastermind is different than a live event where someone is at the front of the room pitching to you or sharing with you or teaching you. I've been to countless live events, they're amazing, they're game changers. But a mastermind is a brainstorm. A mastermind is think of collective wisdom in a room. So let's say you wanted to learn how to write a book and sell it on social media. Now you can look at all the other ads, read books about it, go out, write your book and try to sell it. Amazing. Much better than just writing it and guessing it. If you model other people, wonderful. If you read a book on it, wonderful. How much better would that be if you went to a live event and someone was up on stage and they gave a 60 minute presentation on how they took an idea in their head and then turned it into a book and then turned it into marketing and sold a lot. That's another level, right? Pages and pages of notes. But now let's talk about a mastermind. What if you were in a mastermind with 20 other people who have already written books that were successful on social media and you got to be in that collective wisdom and that collective consciousness success, meaning you get to learn from each of their. When I say collective, you could have one person say, wow, it took me about a year to write the book and somebody said, oh my God, I know, it used to take me a year to write a book. But here's what I do. I get my phone out and I Just go through the voice memo and I come up with chapter heads. And then when I'm in the mood, even when I'm in the car driving, I just hit record. And I record the whole chapter. And then I take it and I forward it to Rev. They're a transcription service that's really cheap. I really inexpensive, and they have it back in like, five hours. Then when that gets back, I just edit my own words and, oh, my God, I had a chapter done. So I did that 12 times. I had my 12 chapters and the book was done. And you're like, oh, my God, that just saved me a year. Okay, give me that information on how to write it. And then someone else goes, yeah, I did something similar when I got my book done. Took me about six months to get momentum to sell it on Facebook. And someone else goes, oh, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. When I got done, I thought the same thing. But what I did is I started making one minute hook videos on Instagram. And what I did is in those one minutes, I would deliver a massive amount of value. In the beginning, I'd say, hey, here's a secret that you need if you want to lose weight, go faster, make more money, be healthier, have a better relationship. Here's one secret. Hey, if you'd like more of those secrets, click the link on this page and get my book. And you go, wow, how many books did you sell on Instagram like that with those one minute power messages? 10,000. Oh, my God. Can I have that idea? Yes. Now I'm exaggerating here, but do you see how masterminding, how brainstorming with the collective wisdom in the room, all of a sudden you get years and years and years of experience all by the people who have been there or done or even failed at what you want. Here's the greatest thing about being around people when they go, yeah, I'm going to write this book and I'm going to sell it for $25 on Facebook. Somebody says, I tried it on Facebook for 25. For some reason, you can't get momentum. I tried it every way to Sunday. Got the best marketing people on the planet. But here's what I did learn. If you sell it for under 19 and then you have a customer funnel you over, deliver so much on the book that people come back and buy more products from you. It's okay to lose money on the front because they'll love you because you wrote such a good book. They'll come back and buy more of your products and you'll still be more cash flow positive and you can impact the world. Get your book out to people instead of trying to ask so much on the front that might have taken him five years or her five years to figure out. You know how quick you get it just like that. So why am I obsessing on this for you? Because I wish someone would have told me the power of masterminding, the power of brainstorming with like minded people. The other thing too is it's not only the collective wisdom and it's the collective inspiration, right? Because that's like being here, listening to this podcast. You feel more normal because you realize your goals, your desires are the next level. And if you haven't already, make sure you go to subscribetodeen.com that's subscribetodeen.com so you get a bunch of free and discounted bonuses because you subscribed, you took action, and you make sure you don't miss anything, any of these podcasts. But back to what I'm saying is when you realize that being part of a group like this, being a part of a mastermind online, being a part of mastermind in person, or just organizing people that have the same desires of you that you have, or have gone through the same experience as you, or have gone through it already collectively in a room, there's no faster way to another level. So I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't encourage you to get into masterminds, to form a group, to brainstorm with other people and don't let the wrong people be a part of it. You don't want someone in that group who's a pessimist. You don't want someone who's never had the desire to go to the next level. You don't want someone who's not in your industry or in your field. Collect the right people and be in a room where everybody's getting smarter. If you're the smartest person in the room, if you're the most inspirational person in the room, go find another room. One of the fastest ways to your next level is masterminding and brainstorming. I hope that I shared in a clear, concise way why it could be the most impactful thing for your life. And remember, all success starts here. If you like today's podcast, then you're going to love being a part of my texting community. What's that mean? You could text me right now at 480-400-9019 or it should be below right here, and it comes directly to my phone. It doesn't go to my team, it comes to me. I've been absolutely loving the interaction. I send out some cool things about once a week. I text nothing but things to get your week going, to get your mind thinking. And when we have new videos and things like that, I always text my community first. It has absolutely been a blast and I'd love for you to do it right now. Text me 480-40-0990 19 do it. Text me.