Don't Let Others Control Your Life

What if you said, yeah, I tried in the past and failed, but that will never happen again? This time is my time? How does that story feel? How does that worry feel? Completely different. And nothing changed. We didn't get a new president. The world didn't change. The economy didn't change. We just changed in here a little bit. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi Show. All success starts right here. There's people that call us, and when our phone goes off, you have anybody in your life, when you look at your phone, you go, oh, man, I got to go do that thing. Those are the type of things that need to go out of your life. Life is too short because it's draining you. And if you're drained, you don't have the energy, the enthusiasm, the excitement to go. It's either a yes or a no. Don't dabble. Is the person or relationship moving me forward or backwards? Now, this is one of those tough ones because some of you have a spouse or someone really close in your life that is a naysayer or thinks they're a realist and thinks you're a dreamer or tells you stop reading all those books. And if you went to Tony Robbins, you're like, oh, you're gonna jump up and down and get all inspired. That's motivated. You're watching this guy Dean in an afternoon. We could read other stuff. That guy, you're not gonna listen to him. That's just. There's people in your life, and sometimes they're close to you. It doesn't mean you have to go get a divorce or stop talking to your parents or your sister, brother, cousin, relative. What. What means is. It just means that you can't give them the energy. You can't let them suck it out of you. There's two types of people in life. Battery drainers and battery chargers. Be careful. The battery drainers, they are sucking the life literally out of you, and there's no time left for you. So it's the person in relationship moving you forward or backwards. Make that decision and spend more times in groups like this. Spend more time with self education. Spend more time online finding the positive posts, the positive quotes. If you don't have somebody amazing in your life, that's amazing. Use social media for that to inspire you. Selfish is good for others. I want to go through this because this is something really important, something I had to learn. Basically, when you're selfish with your time and you dedicate the things that can take you to another level, you can help them more, right? Because if we're distracted, you're home and you want to play with your kids, you want to be with your wife. No. Set time to be with your kids, set time to be their husband or wife, set time to see the family, set time for work. But when you set this time apart, let nothing distract you. Because let me ask you, if you took your life to another level of income and you were able to pay off debt, cut checks for problems that you have in your life, retire a wife, a husband, a spouse, a parent, somebody put college money away, how would you feel as a person if your income was going up and problems were going down? When you had time with your wife or your husband or your kids or your family or your friends, would it be more quality time? Of course. You wouldn't be distracted thinking about it. So being selfish can be good. Cycle of frustration. I want to create a legacy for those that I love. Look at this. I allow people I care about to distract me during dedicated work hours because they're important. Because I deliberately choose to do this, I diminish my ability to create a legacy for them. Think about that. The truth is, you'll be a better friend, partner, spouse, parent if you take yourself. Go for you. Take your goals first. Now, I know I said all that. See, it was in my head, but I wanted to put it on paper. But look at that. Think about that. You'll have more, better time with them if you're selfish with the times that you want to create to take your life to the next level. Eliminate distractions. Decide who and what gets your attention during dedicated work hours. Stand firm and committed and keep yourself. Keep all others out. Stay focused on. Stay focused on the. Right now. It's only thing. I'm sorry, these are so. It's the only thing you can take control. Distractions that will cost you millions. That's what I wanted to get to. You guys ready? I know I want to get to. We got a lot of great stuff today, man. There's so much stuff we're going to share. I hope you can spend the entire time with us because this is the part. This is the nitty gritty, you know, this is the part where people just want the magic money machine. People want the pill that makes them lose weight. They want the keyboard that spits out money. When the fact of the matter is. When the fact of the matter is these are the pieces that make you wealthy. Yes, I know. I could show you how to profit from home. Doing one or two deals a month with real estate. I've been doing it for 30 years. The evolution, we're ahead of it. My top students, all that combined is giving you the path and the plan to create that side income that you can do. No matter where you live, what you do for a living, how much money you have, you can do it. But if you don't set the right success foundation like we did in the first training, if we don't find and become productive, productive and find the time, you'll just dabble. You'll be back here next year going, dean, what's next? Why take the next thing? You didn't do the first thing right? So distractions that'll cost you millions. 30 minutes a day. Messing around on social media is three and a half hours a week. That could be your time to go to the next level. The phone, text, emails, alerts, social media alert calls. The only people who are accessible are desperate. Don't be accessible, don't be there. Don't get a Bing. Oh, someone looked at Facebook. Oh, someone looked at Instagram. Oh no. When you're dedicated, become stealth. Have people go, wow, they haven't gotten back to me in a year. They're dedicated, they're focused. People will be envious of your not instant messaging back or instant emails back because they know you're working on another level of life for you. Don't live in a reactive mode. Be proactive. Be on the offense, not the defense. The screen only. Turn on your computer to get the information you need to learn. Promise yourself you're not going to go surf. You're not going to go look at the news. You're going to get negative news. Feel negative. Go check your bank account. See what your friends are doing. See. See how many hits you got on a Facebook video or picture that you. Don't let that happen. Email. When someone emails you or sends an email, they're asking you to jump. You don't have to jump. I said that you can reply when you want. You can even put an autoresponder that says I reply to emails every day at 2 and 7. Other than that, I'll be working on my bigger future people. Make time for them later. Work on you first and schedule it. Same thing. Just don't let people distract you. Say, hey, you want to go grab a drink? You want to go see if you want to see them, Great. Say, you know What? Tuesday at 7, I'm working on me, but I could do Wednesday at 5. Do you want to do that? And last thing during your dedicated hours, eliminate these distractions. It's not that we don't have the time. We're just so distracted. You know, we're doing all these things shallow and we're wondering why we're not getting the results we desire. Start saying no. Remember I said the first training. Yes got you out of Egypt. No will take you to the promised land. Productivity habit number five. If one man can, you can. How to get good lies One of the hardest things about a business is. One of the hardest things about our business in real estate is finding good deals. Right? You say that lie, man, that just makes everything tough. It seems as only a small group of people have figured it out, like they're the lucky ones. But Dean, I see all the successful students you have, but they're the lucky ones or they live in the right area or they were smarter or they had someone that gave them money. Or maybe they're not even true. Maybe they're not even real people. You can tell yourself all those lies when the fact of the matter is it's not true. You get good at finding deals. You know how you get good at finding deals? By finding deals. By doing the work and testing and tweaking. Dedicate one hour per day to finding deals, one hour a day to finding deals, and watch how good you get. You'll be good at by the end of 30 days, you'll be so good that you no longer worry about it again. I'm looking at the screen because I wrote all this stuff. I know it's coming before it comes. The same applies with just about anything. You want to get good at finding deals? Start using the strategies to find deals. You want to get good at finding buyers and talking to them or emailing them, start finding buyers. You want to match them up, start matching them up. Go deep and dedicate time on that. And this isn't a problem. It's like anything else in your life. It's one step at a time. Remember this? Take what serves you and throw the rest away. I bet to say as we were going along this today, something like, oh my God, I got to do that. Oh, yes, I'm distracted by this. Oh, God, that's terrible. That's me. That's okay. That's why I gave it to you. Take what serves you, write it down and implement it today. When you get a vision of where you really want to go in your life in a year from now, and you look at that, start saying no to all the crap that doesn't serve you, getting to where you want to go. And when you start Saying no again. Scrape out the things you should not be doing. Either stop doing them or automate them or delegate them. Start getting rid of stuff and then it opens up time. And then start putting the things that will take you to your bigger future on your list and then prioritize them. What's the most important? If you're doing real estate deals, what's the most important? Finding houses. Don't worry about contracts, all that stuff. Obsess on getting houses. Obsess on finding cash buyers. Cash buyers is easier because there's so many of them. But obsess on it, right? So make sure there's an hour a day on finding deals or a half hour a day. But it's dedicated, focused time. The biggest thing that can derail you is the worries that you have. In my previous training, I talked about we are driven by two basic things in life. I mean, let's just Our basic. We're driven by fear, pain or pleasure. So pain and pleasure. Let's just say we want to move away from pain and we'll make some pretty darn decisions to do that. Big decisions. Or we want to move towards pleasure. And I don't know what phase you are in your life right now. If you're more trying to get away from something that's painful, painful job pain, not having enough money, pain of worry, stress, or you want to say, no, I'm okay, I just want that next level. Either one is okay. Use them as motivation, not as your anchor, right? So you're not a dreamer if you want more. And if you're not, you're not desperate. If you want to move away from it, you're just moving away from pain or maybe moving towards pleasure, right? So acknowledge that. But what happens is worries can stall you for a month, a year, five years, 10 years. Who watching right now has let worry stop them from the life they deserve. Tell me, if worry if it stopped you from taking your relationship to the next level or ending a really painful relationship that's a toxic relationship, has it stopped you? Has worry stopped you from jumping in and starting the new product or the new campaign or the new company to start your business, has worry stopped you from asking for the raise? Has worry stopped you from going after the girl, the guy? Has worry stopped you from telling your parents how you really feel? I don't know what it is, but I guarantee worry has been paralyzing to some of you. And of course it's average. It's normal, right? But no, we don't have to live with it, we don't have to live with it. So I just wanted to spend a little time to acknowledge that, that I know that some of you are facing some really tough stuff, some of you aren't facing really tough stuff, but it's enough to keep you grounded, to keep you on the sidelines. So how do we overcome that? And I want to give you, I kind of dabbled with it before, but let's take your worry right now, right now, let's just think if, if you got a course like that, oh man, what would you worry about? What if it didn't work? What if I failed? What if I made a lot of money? What if I found a deal, I wouldn't know what to do with it. What if, what if, what if, what if my parents thought I was crazy, My spouse is going to think I'm an idiot for trying something like this. And then there's worries 10 times more than that that can come from being your 6 year old self, your 12 year old self, your 18 year old self, all those worries that got stuck, right. I do a lot of the work, right. There's a lot of worry that's stuck from you being a nine year old version of yourself. And every time you hit it and you touch it, it's like, oh, you don't even know where it came from. Right. But let's just put worry where it belongs for a moment. Do I worry? Of course I do. I'm not saying I'm superhuman. I just have better tools to try to get out of it. So if I said to you I want to teach you to learn to make money wholesaling from home with the real estate profits and what's some of the worries that come up and here's what I want you to think about, or any worry, whatever it is you want to do. You want to fix your relationship, end the relationship, you want to get in better shape, make more money, be happy, more joy, Whatever it is, whatever worries you have, I want you to think about them right now and feel them. Don't avoid them. Feel it. Think to yourself, yeah, I'm going to go broke. Yeah, I'm going to lose everything. Yeah, I'm going to be stuck in this job for the rest of my life. Now I'm stuck in this relationship because I need, I just can't do it because of money. Yeah, I'm never going to do my own thing. I'm never going to wake up and be in control of my time. I'm getting goosebumps saying this look at this. I don't know. If you see my hair stand up. I want you to feel that loathe in it right now. Do it. Loathe in it. Feel it. Well, everybody, you telling me that you were worried. Feel it. And now. Let me ask you something. How's that feel? Now I want you to picture it's a year from now and you still have these same feelings. So I want you to feel it. What's it feel like if you're still feeling this in a year Now, I want you to think about you're standing in front of a mirror, it's five years from now. And that same worry has let nothing new in your life happen. Nothing. You're in the same exact spot. Feel it right now. Feel what that feels like. We're five years from now, we're watching this video and you're going, oh, my God, Dean, I'm exactly where I was. I have the same worries. I don't have any more money. I didn't start something new. I'm still stuck. That feels like shit. And let yourself feel it, because that's exactly what you'll happen by letting that worry control you. Think about that. Are you worth more than that worry is holding you back. I don't even know if I said that right. But I want you to know you are worth more than that worry. That worry has enslaved you. It's taken your power away. And it's most likely not true. It's some limiting belief someone else got you or some experience that someone. Maybe you got ripped off. Maybe you tried something in the past and you're just stuck with an old memory. That worry, that stress is not worth the bigger, better version of you. And a bigger, better version of you exists. And it exists on the other side of that worry. There's a great book called the Obstacle is the way it talks about your paradise. Your next level is on the other side of your worry. You can't see it because you're letting the worry be in the way. You're trying to just say, I hope the worry goes away. And maybe I can get around this side path. No, you got to go right through it. How do you get through it? Is by not giving it power anymore, proving it's not true. I love Byron. Katie, she does this in relationships. But you can do this in any area of your life. She says when you have something that you have a worry. You say, is that worry true? Five questions. Is that worry true? You think about it. Maybe you say yes, maybe not. Then she Says. The second question. Is that worry absolutely true? Is that worry absolutely true? Most cases it's not, and you can find proof. The third thing is, how do you feel when you tell yourself that story, the worry you have? How do you feel when you tell yourself this story? This just won't work for me. I've tried other things in the past. How does that make you feel? People are going to say I'm dumb. What if I. What if I succeed? What if I fail? How does that make you feel? Makes you feel like shit, for lack of a better word. How do you. How would you. The fourth question is, how would you feel without that word, that story? Seriously? The story was just gone. Evaporated. And it's. The story's in here. It doesn't live any place. Go find your story. Go find your worry. Do me a favor. Go. Go look around the house and see if your worry is someplace. Can you go grab your worry and bring it over to me? I want to see it. Think about it. Right? You can't find it any place. It lives in here. So how would your life be if you just pull that memory out? How would your life be without that thought? And then how do you reverse that thought instead of saying, I don't think this can work for me. I've tried in the past and failed? What if you said, yeah, I tried in the past and failed, but that will never happen again. This time is my time. How does that story feel? How does that worry feel? Completely different. And nothing changed. We didn't get a new president. The world didn't change. The economy didn't change. We just changed in here a little bit. As always, our podcast is free. We don't even sell advertising space. 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