Expect More From Yourself Than Anyone

What if you said, yeah, I tried in the past and failed, but that will never happen again? This time is my time. How does that story feel? How does that worry feel? Completely different. And nothing changed. We didn't get a new president. The world didn't change, the economy didn't change. We just changed in here a little bit. Welcome to the Dean Grazios Show. All success starts right here. There's people that call us and when our phone goes off, you have anybody in your life, when you look at your phone, you go, oh man, I got to go do that thing. Those are the type of things that need to go out of your life. Life is too short because it's draining you. And if you're drained, you don't have the energy, the enthusiasm, the excitement to go. It's either a yes or a no. Don't dabble. Is the person or relationship moving me forward or backwards? Now, this is one of those tough ones because some of you have a spouse or someone really close in your life that is a naysayer or thinks they're a realist and thinks you're a dreamer or tells you stop reading all those books. And if you into Tony Robbins, you're like, oh, you're going to jump up and down and get all inspired. That's motivated. You're watching this guy Dean in an afternoon. We could read other stuff. That guy, you're not going to listen to him. That's just. There's people in your life and sometimes they're close to you. It doesn't mean you have to go get a divorce or stop talking to your parents or your sister, brother, cousin, relative. What means is. It just means that you can't give them the energy. You can't let them suck it out of you. There's two types of people in life, battery drainers and battery chargers. Be careful. The battery drainers, they are sucking the life literally out of you and there's no time left for you. So it's the person in a relationship moving forward or backwards make that decision and spend more times in groups like this. Spend more time with self education, Spend more time online finding the positive posts, the positive quotes. If you don't have somebody amazing in your life, that's amazing. Use social media for that to inspire you. Selfish is good for others. I want to go through this because this is something really important, something I had to learn. Basically, when you're selfish with your time and you dedicate the things that can take you to another level, you can help them more, right? Because if we're distracted. You're home and you want to play with your kids, you want to be with your wife. No. Set time to be with your kids, set time to be their husband or wife, set time to see the family, set time for work. But when you set this time apart, like, let nothing distract you. Because let me ask you, if you took your life to another level of income and you were able to pay off debt, cut checks for problems that you have in your life, retire a wife, a husband, a spouse, a parent, somebody put college money away, how would you feel as a person if your income was going up and problems were going down? When you had time with your wife or your husband or your kids or your family or your friends, would it be more quality time? Of course. You wouldn't be distracted thinking about it. So being selfish can be good. Cycle of frustration. I want to create a legacy for those that I love. Look at this. I allow people I care about to distract me during dedicated work hours because they're important. Because I deliberately choose to do this, I diminish my ability to create a legacy for them. Think about that. The truth is, you'll be a better friend, partner, spouse, parent. If you take yourself and go first. You take your goals first. Now, I know I said all that. See, it was in my head, but I wanted to put it on paper. But look at that. Think about that. You'll have more, better time with them if you're selfish with the times that you want to create to take your life to the next level. Eliminate distractions. Decide who and what gets your attention during dedicated work hours. Stand firm and committed and keep yourself. Keep all others out. Stay focused on the right now. It's only thing. I'm sorry. It's the only thing you can take control. Distractions that will cost you millions. That's what I wanted to get to. You guys ready? I know I want to get to. We got a lot of great stuff today, man. There's so much stuff we're going to share. I hope you can spend the entire time with us because this is the part. This is. This is the nitty gritty, you know, this is the part where people just want the magic money machine. People want the pill that makes them lose weight. They want the keyboard that spits out money. When the fact of the matter is. When the fact of the matter is these are the pieces that make you wealthy. Yes, I know. I could show you how to profit from home doing one or two deals a month with real estate. I've been doing it for 30 years. The evolution, we're ahead of it, my top students, all that combined is giving you the path and the plan to create that side income that you can do. No matter where you live, what you do for a living, how much money you have, you can do it. But if you don't set the right success foundation like we did in the first training, if we don't find and become productive and find the time, you'll just dabble. You'll be back here next year going, dean, what's next? Why take the next thing? You didn't do the first thing right? So distractions that'll cost you millions of 30 minutes a day. Messing around on social media is three and a half hours a week. That could be your time to go to the next level. The phone, text, emails, alerts, social media alert calls. The only people who are accessible are desperate. Don't be accessible, don't be there. Don't get a Bing. Oh, someone looked at Facebook. Oh, someone looked at Instagram. No. When you're dedicated, become stealth. Have people go, wow, they haven't gotten back to me in a year. They're dedicated, they're focused. People will be envious of your not instant messaging back or instant emails back because they know you're working on another level of life for you. Don't live in a reactive mode. Be proactive. Be on the offense, not the defense. The screen only. Turn on your computer to get the information you need to learn. Promise yourself you're not going to go surf. You're not going to go look at the news. You're going to get negative news. Feel negative. Go check your bank account, see what your friends are doing. See how many hits you got on a Facebook video or picture that you don't let that happen. Email. When someone emails you or sends an email, they're asking you to jump. You don't have to jump. I said that you can reply when you want. You can even put an autoresponder that says I reply to emails every day at 2 and 7. Other than that, I'll be working on my bigger future people. Make time for them later. Work on you first and schedule it. Same thing. Just don't let people distract you. Say, hey, you want to go grab a drink? You want to go see if you want to see them? Great. Say, you know What? Tuesday at 7, I'm working on me, but I could do Wednesday at 5. Do you want to do that? And last thing during your dedicated hours, eliminate these distractions. It's not that we don't have the time. We're just so distracted. You know, we're doing all these things shallow, and we're wondering why we're not getting the results we desire. Start saying no. Remember I said the first training. Yes got you out of Egypt. No will take you to the promised land. Productivity habit number five. If one man can, you can. How to get good lies. One of the hardest things about a business is. One of the hardest things about our business in real estate is finding good deals. Right? You say that lie, man, that just makes everything tough. It seems, as only a small group of people have figured out, like they're the lucky ones. Dean, I see all the successful students you have, but they're the lucky ones. Or they live in the right area, or they were smarter or. Or they had someone that gave them money. Or maybe they're not even true. Maybe they're not even real people. You can tell yourself all those lies when the fact of the matter is it's not true. You get good at finding deals. You know how you get good at finding deals? By finding deals. By doing the work and testing and tweaking. Dedicate one hour per day to finding deals, one hour a day to finding deals, and watch how good you get. You'll be good at. By the end of 30 days, you'll be so good that you no longer worry about it again. I'm looking at the screen because I wrote all this stuff. I know it's coming before it comes. The same applies with just about anything. You want to get good at finding deals? Start using the strategies to find deals. You want to get good at finding buyers and talking to them or emailing them. Start finding buyers. You want to match them up, start matching them up. Go deep and dedicate time on that. And this isn't a problem. It's like anything else in your life. It's one step at a time. Remember this? Take what serves you and throw the rest away. I bet to say as we were going along this today, something like, oh, my God, I got to do that. Oh, yes. I'm distracted by this. Oh, God. God, that's terrible. That's me. That's okay. That's why I gave it to you. Take what serves you, write it down and implement it today. When you get a vision of where you really want to go in your life in a year from now, and you look at that, start saying no to all the crap that doesn't serve you, getting to where you want to go. And when you start saying no again, scrape out the things you should not be doing either stop doing them or automate them or delegate them. Start getting rid of stuff and then it opens up time. And then start putting the things that will take you to your bigger future on your list and then prioritize them. What's the most important? If you know you're doing real estate deals, what's the most important? Finding houses. Don't worry about contracts, all that stuff. Obsess on getting houses, obsess on finding cash buyers. Cash buyers is easier because there's so many of them. But obsess on it, right? So make sure there's an hour a day on finding deals or a half hour a day. But it's dedicated, focused time. The biggest thing that can derail you is the worries that you have. In my previous training, I talked about we are driven by two basic things in life. I mean, let's just. Our basic. We're driven by fear, pain or pleasure. So pain and pleasure. Let's just say we want to move away from pain and we'll make some pretty darn decisions to do that. Big decisions. Or we want to move towards pleasure. And I don't know what phase you are in your life right now. If you're more trying to get away from something that's painful, painful job pain, not having enough money, pain of worry, stress, or you want to say, no, I'm okay, I just want that next level. Either one is okay. Use them as motivation, not as your anchor, right? So you're not a dreamer if you want more. And if you're not, you're not desperate if you want to move away from it, you're just moving away from pain or moving towards pleasure, right? So acknowledge that. But what happens is worries can stall you for a month, a year, five years, 10 years. Who watching right now has let worry stop them from the life they deserve. Tell me, if worry, if it stopped you from taking your relationship to the next level or ending a really painful relationship that's a toxic relationship, has it stopped you? Has worry stopped you from jumping in and starting the new product or the new campaign or the new company to start your business, has worry stopped you from asking for the raise? Has worry stopped you from going after the girl, the guy? Has worry stopped you from telling your parents how you really feel? I don't know what it is, but I guarantee worry has been paralyzing to some of you. And of course it's average. It's normal, right? But no, we don't have to live with it. We don't have to live with it. So I just wanted to spend a little time to acknowledge that. I know that some of you are facing some really tough stuff, some of you aren't facing really tough stuff, but it's enough to keep you grounded, to keep you on the sidelines. So how do we overcome that? And, and I want to give you, I kind of dabbled with it before, but let's take your worry right now, right now, let's just think, if you got a course like that, oh man, what would you worry about? What if it didn't work? What if I failed? What if I made a lot of money? What if I found a deal? I wouldn't know what to do with it. What if, what if, what if, what if my parents thought I was crazy, My spouse is going to think I'm an idiot for trying something like this. And then there's worries 10 times more than that that can come from being your 6 year old self, your 12 year old self, your 18 year old self, all those worries that got stuck. Right. I do a lot of the work. Right. There's a lot of worry that's stuck from you being a nine year old version of yourself. And every time you hit it and you touch it it's like, oh, you don't even know where it came from. Right. But let's just put worry where it belongs for a moment. Do I worry? Of course I do. I'm not saying I'm superhuman. I just have better tools to try to get out of it. So if I said to you I want to teach you to learn to make money wholesaling from home with the real estate profits and what's some of the worries that come up and here's, I want you to think about or any worry, whatever it is you want to do. You want to fix your relationship, end the relationship, you want to get in better shape, make more money, be happy, more joy, Whatever it is, whatever worries you have, I want you to think about them right now and feel them. Don't avoid them. Feel it. Think to yourself, yeah, I'm going to go broke. Yeah, I'm going to lose everything. Yeah, I'm going to be stuck in this job for the rest of my life. I'm stuck in this relationship because I need, I just can't do it because of money. Yeah, I'm never going to do my own thing. I'm never going to wake up and be in control of my time. I'm getting goosebumps saying this, look at this. I don't Know if you can see my hair. Stand up. I want you to feel that loathe in it right now. Do it. Loathe in it. Feel it. Well, everybody, you telling me that you were worried. Feel it. And now let me ask you something. How's that feel? Now I want you to picture it's year from now and you still have these same feelings. So I want you to feel it. What's it feel like if you're still feeling this in a year now I want you to think about you're standing in front of a mirror, it's five years from now. And that same worry has let nothing new in your life happen. Nothing. You're in the same exact spot. Feel it right now. Feel what that feels like. We're five years from now, we're watching this video and you're going to. Oh my God, Dean. I'm exactly where I was. I have the same worries. I don't have any more money. I didn't start something new. I'm still stuck. That feels like shit. And let yourself feel it. Because that's exactly what you'll happen by letting that worry control you. Think about that. Are you worth more than that worry is holding you back. I don't even know if I said that right. But I want you to know you are worth more than that worry. That worry is enslaved you. It's taken your power away. And it's most likely not true. It's some limiting belief someone else got you or some experience that someone. Maybe you got ripped off. Maybe you tried something in the past and you're just stuck with an old memory. That worry, that stress is not worth the bigger, better version of you. And a bigger, better version of you exists. And it exists on the other side of that worry. There's a great book called the Obstacle is the way it talks about your paradise. Your next level is on the other side of your worry. You can't see it because you're letting the worry be in the way. You're trying to just say, I hope the worry goes away and maybe I can get around this side path. No, you got to go right through it. How do you get through it? Is by not giving it power anymore, proving it's not true. I love Byron. Katie, she does this in relationships. But you can do this in any area of your life. She says when you have something that you have a worry. You say, is that worry true? Five questions. Is that worry true? You think about it. Maybe you say yes, maybe not. Then she says, the second question is that Worry absolutely true? Is that worry absolutely true? Most cases it's not, and you can find proof. The third thing is, how do you feel when you tell yourself that story? The worry you have? How do you feel when you tell yourself that story? This just won't work for me. I've tried other things in the past. How does that make you feel? People are going to say I'm dumb. What if I. What if I succeed? What if I fail? How does that make you feel? Makes you feel like shit, for lack of a better word. How do you. How would you. Fourth question is, how would you feel without that work, that story? Seriously? The story was just gone, evaporated. And it's. The story's in here. It doesn't live any place. Go find your story. Go find your worry. Do me a favor, Go. Go look around the house and see if your worry is someplace. Can you go grab your worry and bring it over to me? I want to see it. Think about it, right? You can't find it any place. It lives in here. So how would your life be if you just pull that memory out? How would your life be without that thought? And then how do you reverse that thought instead of saying, I don't think this could work for me. I've tried in the past and failed? What if you said, yeah, I tried in the past and failed, but that will never happen again. This time is my time. How does that story feel? How does that worry feel? Completely different. And nothing changed. We didn't get a new president, the world didn't change, the economy didn't change. We just changed in here a little bit. Last year I set goals with my kids. Every year I have a 15 and a 13 year old and I have a little 20 month old. But every year with my older kids, and hopefully someday with little Luca, the youngest, we set New Year's resolutions, we set goals, and I do this similar process with them at the level of 15 and a 13 year old will want to do this. But I always come up with a theme for the year. And the theme for 2021 is the same theme that I've given to them, that we've agreed on for 2022. And it's simply this, who are you when no one is watching? If you're a part of my family, you know, you've heard me say that before, but I think that's one of the greatest questions we could ask ourselves. Because, you know, what happens is we talk about we want more, we want to make more, we want more intimacy in Our relationship. But are we doing the things when no one's watching? Not to prove to anyone, not even to prove to God or the universe or whatever you believe in. To show you there is nothing, hear me. There is nothing more powerful than congruency. To reach your full potential, to have confidence, to be courageous. You know, listen, we all have friends that say they want the passion back in their relationship. Do we? Does anybody here have a friend that would love passion or a connection back in a relationship? A friend that tells you. Anybody have a friend that tells you they want passion or connection in the relationship, but they're on Facebook looking up old high school boyfriends or girlfriends dming people when nobody's knowing? I know a couple people in my life that say they want in front stage. They want the connection, they want the love again. But when no one's watching, they're kind of doing the stuff that derails that. People who say they want to be in the best shape of their life. This is the year I want to be healthy. My kids deserve me to be healthy. But when no one's watching, they skip the workout or they go to the gym, but they sit on their phone the whole time. And. And when they should order something a little healthier, they order something they shouldn't order. But when no one's watching, it's no big deal, right? And then they're telling their friends at lunch, I just don't know why the weight won't come off. I'm in the gym five days a week, I'm eating. So great bs. You're not doing the work when no one's watching, Right? You say you want that business to thrive, to go to another level, but you did all the easy parts, and now you got to dig into marketing. You got to let your friends know you're going in this business. It's a little uncomfortable. So when no one's watching you, you're working on your logo or the name of your site, rather than the marketing that actually gets you out to it or the phone call you need to make to close the deal. But you tell your friends it's not working. But really, you're not doing the work you should be doing when no one's watching. You guys feeling me on this one. Congruency is so unbelievable. And that's where values come from. That's where character comes from. I am by far not saying I'm perfect in any shape, way, or form, but I have an obsession now, especially at this phase of my life. I. I want to Be so congruent that if my wife, my kids put a hidden camera on me for a week and they watch it, be like, damn, he does the same stuff he talks about. I would love for you guys to see me at a restaurant having a conversation with my family. You're in the booth behind me and you don't know that I'm. I don't know you're there and you get done and go, damn, that's the same guy I met when we were on camera. That is so powerful. And the reason it's the theme for my kids is listen, 15 or 13, who has kids, right? Raise your hand if you have children in today's world, can they pretty much do anything they want on social? I mean, they could be online, they could find porn in two minutes. They could do a million things at 15. I know my daughter has friends that already drink already, do some other stuff, right? And they could lie about all of it, turn off their locations and figure it out. I have to train my kids, not train. Give them the ability to understand. Is who you are when no one's watching is who you really are. I said you could act perfect in front of me, perfect in front of your teachers. But if you're doing the things when no one's watching, then that's you, God, the universe, your character. And my kids are far from perfect. But they understand core values because of that. So today I'm taking a little longer. As we start here this morning, I want to share with you that that could be a theme or come up with your own 2022 theme. But I want to do the work. When I think about that when no one's around, I. I want to do the work to be a better when no one was watching. For four days straight, I obsessed on what I was going to teach you today. It will seem really easy, like it's just coming off my tongue. I have this whole thing laid out to get you the results you deserve you desire, right? I did the work when no one is watching. So now when I'm front stage, it looks easy, looks amazing. But I really got my own notes and cheat sheet here. Make sense. So 2022, could we all agree to do the work when no one is watching? Right. My daughter and son both pitch. They love winning games. You don't win on stage, you know, when you win, you win. When my daughter and son are out back at 4:30 today, my daughter will be with her pitching coach and she'll pitch for two hours. She'll pitch until her Arm hurts. She does that on a regular basis. But when she goes and wins a game, it's because of what she did when no one was watching. So anyway, I wanted to share that little. Share that little gift there that I believe really has made a difference in my life. Okay, you ready? We're going to go over these nine things. We're going to go over kind of quick. I'm a little. I'm about 15 minutes behind from where I wanted to be. So number one. And if you guys feel like writing these things down, you can to share with everybody else. Put them in your journal. Write them down. Is get and handle bigger problems in 2022. Get bigger problems. You see, if we look forward to them, if we tell ourselves, bring them on. I want bigger problems. You see, bigger problems. Equal, bigger results. Don't wish for no problems. Did you ever hear that joke? It's a gambler. A gambler who gambles nonstop, passes away. He wakes up, and all of a sudden he's in a casino. He's dressed to the nines. And every time he walks up to a slot machine, he puts in money, and he pulls the handle, and money comes out, and he's like, oh, my God, I won. He goes to another and puts money in, pulls the handle, oh, my God, I won. And he keeps going, and all of a sudden, he puts money in, and he's just winning every time. He puts money in, and he's winning every time. Finally, he's got this big bucket of quarters or money, and he walks up to one of the, you know, the people dressed nice, and he's like, oh, my God. He said, I didn't think heaven would be like this. And the guy looked at him and said, who said, you're in heaven? You see, we all think we want it easy. We all think we just want the. We want to open the gates, and all the money and the happiness and the joy just pour out. Why when people hit lotto, do they go broke? Because they had the resources handed them, handed to them, but they never found a way to be resourceful. You see, how we get resourceful is actually understanding that problems are the path to our bigger future. So if we handle bigger problems, we get bigger results. I know it's counterintuitive, but I'm going to give you a lot of counterintuitive stuff today. Can I tell you something? The stress to get a deal closed, I started in real estate. I started fixing cars and in real estate 30 years ago, right? 30 something years ago. I remember the Stress it took to get a deal done to make 2000 bucks and the worry and try to close the deal and get the buyer. And I didn't have the finances and the money and I'd borrow money here and put some money on credit cards. All this stress. And I've also sat at a closing table where I did a $15 million deal. I just did a 14 million dollar deal at the signing table, got a check literally five weeks ago. I'm not saying that to brag. I've done multiple, I've done much bigger deals. But I want to tell you this. I've done the thousand dollar deals and the multi million dollar deals. It's the same stress, it's the same worry. It's not more of a problem to do a 15 million dollar deal than a $1,500 deal. I know that sounds crazy and we have to work our way up. But here's what I know. I wish someone would have told me sooner. Go out and conquer bigger problems, solve things other people can't. Be the person that finds solutions and watch your 2022. Go to another level. Don't avoid them, go after them. Learn from and realize that they're always going to be there. Every level brings you a new challenge and when you're ready for it, you keep climbing the ladder. So number one is get and handle bigger problems. Number two, take ownership of all of it in 2022. Take ownership of all of it. And what do I mean by that? Can I say it like it is? No one is coming to save us. I can only talk about in depth of what I see in the politics here in America. I don't know if you think our old president was crazy or our new one's crazy. I don't care. That's your choice. But do you think there is any politician here in America or anywhere in the world that's going to come wave a magic wand and make everything perfect for us, pay off our debt, make things better, things will go easy to no more inflation, money's fine, my debt's gone. Is anybody coming to save us? Can we just say it like it is? No one is coming. And politicians have evolved to be politicians. The only way things get better is if we take complete ownership. Listen, don't wait for permission for your husband, from your husband, from your parents, from your children, from anyone. Remember, God gave it to you, not them. The universe gave it to you, not them. You see, I really believe sometimes our subconscious is really powerful. It's like this powerhouse computer and when things don't go right, it says, it's not your fault your husband's not all in with you. It's not your fault. You see how crazy our president is? Or how crazy our president was? It's not your fault inflation is here. It's not your fault we have Covid. It's not your fault we have shutdowns. And all I know is if you have a millimeter, a crumb of you saying, I, I could do this, but if there's any. But that means you're not taking complete ownership. Even if someone else let you down, even if the partner robbed all your money, even if your spouse cheated on you. I get that. And a lot of you are here for a lot of different reasons. Money, health, life, passion. What if you just took complete ownership? I chose this schlub that was unfaithful to me. Right? I made this mistake. I waited too long. I accepted this. I'm not saying it's right, but here's what I want to tell you. When you decide that it's all on you, oh, my God, it's so liberating, because then it's all on you. If it wins, that's you. If it doesn't win, that's you. So in 2022, what if we decided to take ownership of all of it? Okay, that's number two. Take ownership of all of it. Number three, who will you learn from, listen to, or be persuaded by? In 2022, the most expensive advice in the world is bad advice. It's your broke friend telling you how to get rich. It's your single friend telling you what you should do with your relationship. Who in here has ever had an idea for an invention, something you thought the whole world would want to buy, or a business idea? Who in here has ever had an idea like, who in here has ever had an idea that you really felt, like, fired up by? And then you went and told your friend, your mom, your cousin, your husband, your wife, you felt so good about it, and you told them. You were all excited, and they were like, oh, that won't work. Oh, you gotta get a patent. You know how much it costs to get a patent? Then you're gonna try to get it on tv, Then you gotta go to China and try to manufacture it, and then you gotta do this. And then you gotta. It probably won't work. And all you need is, like, a millimeter. Like, just enough to go, maybe it won't. And then you don't do it. Who's ever had that idea Got that advice. And then a year later, five years later, you saw your thing on TV or on the Internet, making someone else a gazillion dollars. Who's ever had that experience? Right? We all have in our own way, shape or form, right? It's. We are letting unqualified people tell us where our future should be. And the way I look at it is I don't want anybody steering my ship. Like, I have these silly little analogies if you're meeting me for the first time. But I like things that stick. If something pops in your head and go, damn, I'm letting him. I'm letting her. I'm letting that thought steer my ship. Listen, at the end of our lives, let's just. Again, I digress a little bit, but I want to anchor each one of these things at the end of our lives, if you have the chance to meet with God, meet with your maker, whatever you believe that is. Do you want to give excuses on why it didn't work because you listened to other people? My mom said that wouldn't work. My husband thought that was a crazy idea. My cousin Diane said you need money to make money. Or that men are evil and once they cheat. Every man cheats. Or every man's bad. I don't know what that is. But would you hate to be at the end of your life and realize that you missed out on love, you missed out on connection, missed out on that business because you took bad advice? I always think about this. I do these little tricks that maybe you think are mean, but I always think of if you met your maker at the end of your life, imagine if God pulled out his iPhone because of course he's got an iPhone. Imagine God pulled out his iPhone and played you a video of the woman. Or, man, you could have been. Think about that one for a minute. Imagine seeing the three minute highlight reel of the love you could have had, the health you could have enjoyed, the impact you could have made on the world, man, I think about that and it just freaking like, hell. No, it's go time. Who feels like it's go time just when you hear that, right? Who? I do not want that. I want God to be like, damn, you're a crazy bastard. You just went for it. Failed miserably. Oh, my God. Where did you get that drive from? That's who I want to be, right? And will we fail? Of course. But I would so much rather be on the field playing and failing than being in the sidelines wearing someone else's jersey on the back. Of my shirt. I am not putting someone else's name on my jersey. It's Graziosi on the back. And I'm in the game. And that's in the game of life. So be careful who you get advice from in 2022. Who are you listening to? Who are you surrounding yourself to when? What communities are you a part of? Look at this community that you're a part of right now. You just say, hi, I'm going all in. You got thousands of people support you, love. You go inside the Facebook group and say, I'm looking to go to another level. I'm having a down day. You know how many people will say, it's okay, you're having a down day. Use it as fuel, right? Like, just watch who you surround yourself with. And if you have certain people that bring you down, then you got to find a way to either spend less time with them or be Teflon. Hear me on that. You must. Who we surround ourselves is who we become. That's not my saying. That's been around since the beginning of time. It's a fact. So who will you listen to, learn from, and who will you be persuaded by? Find those that are living life where you want to live and model it. Listen, I'm not talking. Listen. Today, I'm sharing what I've learned over 30 years of going after it. I've failed miserably. I've had an ulcer in my life. I went through a divorce. I've had panic attacks. I've had anxiety attacks. I went broke once, all the way down to nothing. Had to sell the house I was living in. But I've also found real love in my life. I don't if you guys follow me on Instagram. My wife and I don't have an Instagram relationship. I'm married to the love of my life. I fall more in love every day. My wife's here today, when she came in today I see her. It's five years we've been together. She walks in a room. I feel like I'm 12 years old and I'm in love with my best friend. I love being a dad. I live in the house of my dreams. I get to fly on my own plane. I get to do all this cool stuff. I have 15 different companies, and last year we fed 7 million people through Feeding America. Last year, we built two schools in Africa. Last year, I donated $600,000 of my own money to. To help kids in slavery through Operation Underground Railroad. And that's only some of the Things we've done. I don't say that to brag. I say that because that was a kid who lived in a trailer park, who lived in a bathroom with his dad, who didn't go past high school, who got made fun of, who had parents, who struggled terribly. I'm not saying, look what I've done, Magic. I'm just saying what's possible when you shift the outcome, when you decide to follow people who've already done it. Model people that if you want to play great tennis, I don't care if you're. Aunt Edna watched every tennis match for the last 40 years. If she's never played, never won, never failed. You can't take advice from Aunt Edna. You could give her a kiss and bring her some flowers and go find someone who used to play tennis or plays tennis better than you and let them raise your bar. Raise your bar. You know what 2022 really is, if you want another level is raise your standards. Raise your standards. Raise what you're willing to accept for yourself and for your family and whatever area you're trying to improve. This isn't just about money, it's about any area. Raise your standards. Raise your standards in your relationship. Raise your standards for your health. Raise your standards for your impact, your income, your career. If you expect more from yourself than anybody else would expect, life will change. Persuasion is not only persuading others to take action. Persuasion also works within. How do we persuade. Persuade ourself to take action. How do we stay motivated? How do we stay inspired? How do we stay enthusiastic? How do we take action? When we know the opportunities in front of us, we feel it, we know it, we see other people getting ahead and we want more. Now, if you're here today, it could be maybe the majority is financial and taken to the next level, but everything I teach always could be adopted and adapted to every area of your life. You know, if you want to get into a certain college, do you need the art of persuasion? Do you want your kids to act a certain way? Do you want to get your spouse to be a part of the team? Do you want to get the promotion at work? Do you want to start the new company? Do you want to get a partner? Do you want to convince your family you're not crazy? All of that is persuasion. And most of all, something I want to talk about today is if you have any negative thoughts on selling or persuasion. I want to end that today because I want to share something to you. The whole thought of Field of Dreams, that great movie with Kevin Costner, that if you build it, they will come is not true. One in a million things. Someone writes a book or creates an invention, and everybody just finds it on their own. The rest of us, the rest of the world have thriving businesses because we have to market and we have to sell. We have to persuade, get people to take action. Well, I'm going to show you today how to sell without selling. How not to be a cheesy salesperson, how to not have hype, but how to create a way to get people to take action where it's ethical, it's easy, and people will do it in droves. Those that grow seemingly effortless have replaced the word how with who. Write that down. They replaced the word how with who. You see, as we evolve, you see you're here right now. And if you want to go faster, make more money, take your life to the next level, you're learning from me. I'm the who, right? Not because I'm the smartest man in the entire world or I'm some genius. It's because I've forged a path in a lot of areas that maybe you're hoping to go, why carve your own path? Why learn through your own trial and error when you can learn from someone who's been there and done it? You can learn from their mistakes and you can learn from their success, and you just get the path. So you already have that mindset, and I wanted to share it, but I want you to think on a whole other level of that is what if we started thinking about everything in the who standpoint? Meaning we want to expand more on social media. On Instagram. We've kind of ignored Instagram forever. We put effort into Facebook, and we're at a million three hundred thousand followers. It's unbelievable. I love it. And we kind of ignored Instagram. So. So now to get Instagram to grow, how do you do that? The way you lay out the page and video, still image, black and white. And they have this. There's an algorithm. There's a way to get other people with lots of followers to promote you. If they like what I do, they get shout outs. There's all these pieces. So we talked about it for about three months, and we're like, how do we do that? How do we organize it? How do I go online? And what I wasn't asking myself is the most important question. Who? Who? There's a gazillion young, amazing entrepreneurs crushing it on Instagram. I'm friends with some of the top influencers on Instagram on the planet. Why am I going to figure out how to do it when I can make a call and ask some of my dear friends that are crushing it on Instagram? Or I could reach out to some of the people who post in my leave me DMs that are amazing young kids killing it on Instagram. They already know how. So I don't have to figure out how to do it. I just. I just get the who. I either learn from the who or I hire the who. If everything in your life, instead of you think, God, that feels so heavy. How am I going to do it? There is a who, and it doesn't mean you have to spend. I cut checks to solve problems. I do. So start thinking in life, who you know you're having marriage problems, right? We think, how am I going to fix this? How do I get to communicate better? How? How? How? What about the who? What about reading a book on how to save a marriage or how to end a violent one? I don't know, how about hiring a counselor or finding someone, you know, that had problems with a marriage and they fixed it and it's amazing. Or they had to go through a divorce and now they're both living okay lives, right? So if we could start training our brains to go to the who rather than the how. I think life gets exponentially less. Exponentially easier, less complexity. Your gut instinct, right verse. Your belief. Our gut to me is probably not just to me. Maybe it's. Maybe I've read this someplace. But your gut instinct to me is your subconscious mind that you know the number better, probably better than I. What do they say? It's 80 times more powerful than your conscious mind. I think that's the number. Number. But your subconscious mind is like a computer taking in data. This worked. This didn't. This is good, this is bad. This person shady. This person isn't. This person loves you. This person pretends to love you. And your subconscious is feeding. And if you're 20, 30, 50, 70, 90, 100 years old, you have more time of this database filling up from actual events in your life. So when you get that gut, you meet somebody like, I don't know, your gut is just comparing. All your instinct is comparing all this data that says people like this usually aren't trustworthy. This opportunity doesn't feel good. But then there's other times where your gut is like, hell, yes, this is the person. This is the opportunity. This is my time. This is the moment in history. This is when I start the business. This is now. And then your mind starts going, well, no, it's not the right president. And your parents said you shouldn't try your own deal. And all of a sudden you get your mind to out talk your gut. Here's what I know. When I followed my gut in my life, the majority of the times I'm right and what I feel like my gut is part of my heart. It's part of this whole area of me. What can screw you up is gut versus belief. Beliefs a lot of times are things that other people gave us. If your parents tried a business and went into foreclosure or lost the company or went into bankruptcy, you might have had the belief. Starting your own business is dangerous. It's horrible, you'll go broke. Maybe a college professor taught you that, maybe a friend, maybe. Maybe you were taught that if a Republican is in office, it's not a good time. Or if a Democrat is in office, it's not a good time. Or maybe you're taught Democrats are bad or liberals are bad or conservatives are bad. All these different beliefs that the outside world has given us and then our subconscious has given us our gut feeling. But. But then we got our belief. And to me, if you guys can like, I look for simple little hacks because you've heard all this stuff before. In most cases you've heard it. But I like to attach easier ways. For me, gut instinct versus beliefs is like my soul and my heart versus my head. Now, have thoughts ever lied to us? Heck yeah. They lie to us all the time. They get us worried about something. Oh my God, what if this happens? Then and what, 80, 90% of the time it never happens. And if it does, it's not as bad as we thought, Right? So your head's always getting in trouble. The thinking process. So I'm just going to give you those two little things. The who replace who with how and gut versus belief. When you feel like you want to move forward, you want to start the business, ask for the promotion, get the girl, get the guy, go to the next level. And something is just telling you to go, I feel it, I can do it. You feel inspired, you feel motivated. But then you start thinking. It's like, no, it's not the right time. Or I'm not smart enough, I'm not rich enough, I didn't go to school enough, I don't have the right family, I have the right connections. It's not the right area. Real estate doesn't work where I live. My own business doesn't work the Internet's used up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That is old limiting beliefs haunting you and holding you back just enough. You're still inspired, but it's holding you back just enough that you don't take action. And I think if you can start thinking, whoa, whoa, what is this right now? What is this feeling? Is this a belief? Is it a belief someone else gave me? Is it a limiting belief? And what is my gut and my instinct saying? And is there a way to prove that belief and flip it upside down? Google it. You know, I need money to make money. Richard Branson, John Paul DeJorio, Tony Robbins, myself. I mean, we all started with nothing. We all started with no education. Not one of those guys I listed went past high school. So think about that. Flip that belief, trust your gut, Nothing in the world happens. You can write the best book, have the best house for sale, create the best restaurant, create an online product, sell something on Amazon. If you don't persuade people to take action, nothing happens. Apple, great example. Most all of us have an Apple product or multiple Apple products. If they didn't know how to market and sell and persuade you, would they be the brand? I'm sure there's other phones as good. Maybe you have one as good, if not better than an Apple phone, but you stick with Apple for some reason. It's because they have a way of persuading that most people don't see coming. They have a way. The way they. Everything they do is mastered around the art of persuasion. So let's think about this. If you have, and I would bet the sakes, I've asked a million, you know, I've asked not a million. I've asked people in my masterminds, and even when I'm on big stages, about 70% of you watching right now feel off when it comes to selling. When I say off, it means that you don't think you're good at selling at all, or you think selling is kind of evil or it's just not something you want to do. It's like a lot of people say, no, no, no, Dean, I don't want to sell. I have this idea. I just want to create this. I just want to write the book. I just want to create the invention. I just want to remodel the house. But none of those equate to a profit unless you actually persuade someone to buy it. You see, I know so many people, even in my industry, people that are really smart, that will spend two years writing a book, they write their heart out. They spend every Night, every day, they think about it, they obsess on it. Then they get done with the book and go, I'm done with the book. I did the hard part. Now all I got to do is sell it. It's why when you walk into Barnes and nobles, 85% of every book that you look at has not sold over. Sold over 500 copies. You know that that's a crazy stat. And I bet you the 85% of the books that haven't sold more than 500 copies have amazing wisdom in them. People have spent years. Think of the accumulated time that went into 85% of the books in Barnes and Noble. Think of the time, the thought, the history, the wisdom, the passion to go. Sold 426 copies, right? So persuasion isn't something that you should have. It's something you need if you want to thrive in life. And I'm not talking about unethical persuasion. I know if you're watching me, you know that already. I'm talking about persuasion that comes from your heart, from your soul. Well, let me just ask you, do you think Martin Luther King knew how to persuade? Do you think Mother Teresa knew how to persuade? All with the most incredible intent in the entire world, right? But if they didn't, if they just sat there and did what they did and didn't share with the world, didn't speak, didn't communicate, didn't persuade, it wouldn't have been so massive and touched so many lives. So I want you to think about that. Do me a favor. Try this on somebody. You like this. Ask somebody if they like to sell. 70 to 80% will say no. And then I'll say, hey, man, have you read a book lately? And if I see them go, oh, yeah. Or I'll say, did you see a movie lately? Or, you know, I'm in your town next week, Or I'm in your town, what's your favorite restaurant? I'll always do that. Literally do this. It's fun. Especially if, like, let's just say a book and you say, hey, could you. It's like, oh, my God. I read this book called, you know, letting Go. It's a book I just got done reading. I read this book, Letting Go. Oh, my God. In the second part, it does this, and then it teaches you. When a feeling comes up, we always want to hide it and go onto something else or check our phone. When really, if we just spend a little time acknowledging where that pain is, where is that worry, where is that stress? Does it live here? And let's acknowledge that. Let's lean through that pain. Oh, my God, I never thought about it. Then you lean through the pain. You experience it intensely for a little while, and then it's gone. It doesn't live with you. It could live with you for years. This guy shows you how to find the pain, acknowledge it, feel it, and let it go. I mean, when I tried it, Dean, oh, my God, it was amazing. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You got to get the book. I'll let him go on and on. I'll get done. I'll be like, so you don't know how to sell. You don't know how to persuade. You just persuaded me. While you were talking to me. I went on my Amazon account and I ordered the book you just sold me. So let me ask you something. When you are selling, what are some descriptive words you could use when you're selling something? So if I, again, if I said to you that Letting Go is a great book. I like so many different books. Seabiscuit. I love the movie Seabiscuit because I love the underdog story, right? So if I was telling you about Seabiscuit and you've obviously watched me pitch on why you should get my book, because I love my book. And we'll talk about that later. And it's my obligation to persuade you to take action. It's my obligation to persuade you to be here today so I can help you, right? But let's just think movie. Seabiscuit. If I'm going, oh, my God, Seabiscuit. You know what I love? It's this little horse that was broken down. It was abused. It was like America at the time going through the Depression. And, you know, they beat the horse. He had a limp, he had a wheeze. And I love the part in the movie when the trainer said, the horse is walking through the fog. And he was quoted on saying when the first time he saw the horse, he looked at him and he said, the horse looked me right in the eye, as if to say, what the heck are you looking at? And like, I love that part. And then all of a sudden, the dog, the horse just needed a little competition. The horse was, you know, this little horse, and they just used them and used them until finally they realized when he got head, head to head with another horse, he wouldn't let any horse beat him. He'd get head to head and you'd hold him back when he let him go, he'd win. Oh, my God, the movie is so great. It's inspiring. It's good for children. If you have kids, it tells a great message. You could tell them about the underdog story and never give up. Now that's what I feel about the movie Seabiscuit. I really love it. I hope I persuaded you to be intrigued about the movie. I make nothing off that movie. But I want to ask you, when you're telling someone that, when I just told you, am I being the worst version of me or the best version of me? Tell me some descriptive words of how I was. You could write them down here or you could just think them in your head. What are some descriptive words? On the way I was acting, was I enthusiastic? Was I excited? Did I look alive? Do I feel? Am I motivational? Was I inspirational? Was I, you know, was I full of life? Was there color in my cheeks? Right? That's when you're selling, especially selling done ethically, we're going to talk about that. The next thing is to love what it is that you offer and make sure it's a positive impact on the person or the world. We'll talk about that in a second. But when you're selling, you're the best version of yourself. Believe. I mean, when you're telling somebody about a crappy movie, are you the best version of yourself? Like, ah, I went to that restaurant, my God, the pasta wasn't cooked, the waiter was so rude, it took an hour to get our seat. Is that the best version of you? No. When you're selling, you're the best version of you. So take that thought, take that energy, and we're going to start to wipe away any negative thoughts. In fact, even if you don't have negative thoughts, we're going to start wiping it away and show you how to get extremely positive, in fact, to where you're excited about persuading. But I want to share a disclaimer right here, right now. The reason I can hold up my books, hold up my courses, ask you to come join here, is because I love what I offer people. I know the impact it's had on people and I'm not bragging in any way. There's whoever it is that you can follow that can train you. But if you're looking to do what I've done, I don't feel there's anybody better than me. So when I feel that, and I know if I can get you to watch my monthly trainings to read my book, if you, you want to try real estate, get one of my real estate courses. You want to try expanding your business, get millionaire success Habits or a winning state of mind. I know those courses are so good that I love what I offer. That automatically that simultaneously makes me say, I better get good at persuasion. Because if I just did an ad on Facebook without me burning a book or holding one up or pulling one out of the Tesla or being on an interview with Larry King, if I didn't do that, if I just sat in my office by myself and said, my book's really good, people are just going to come buy it. Crickets. If I went online and I said, hey, I don't want to be a salesman because I wrote a really good book here, and if you want to go to another level of life, you really need it, could you click the link below and get it? You know how many people would buy it? Goose egg. Maybe my mom, maybe one of my aunts. That's it. Books, product, life. Nothing goes without persuasion. Nothing would. Mother Teresa would. Martin Luther King made the impact on the world if they weren't massively persuasive. But were they salespeople and cheesy? Hell, no. But they found a way to love what you offer. So think about that. If you're starting a business, if you're starting a business, if you want to take your business to the next level, if you want to fix your relationship, you want to get the promotion, you want to get the board, you want to. You want to sit and change things, think about to be the best version of yourself and make sure that you love what the end result is supposed to be. If you love that, that's the end compared to the product, the service, the company, the thing you want, the asset you are to the company, when you can find that and love it and feel, it's a disservice if you don't get the person to say yes. Then all of a sudden you want to know the power of persuasion, you want to know the art. Because their yes changes their life and yours, and you get to stand out as a company or as a person. So think about it this way. First, let's start with here. It all starts with a vision. Now, what we're going to do now is build your enthusiasm and we're going to build your art of persuasion backwards a little bit. So. So this is the way I envision teaching this. So this is the way I am going to teach it. This is my way of persuading you to learn how to persuade. Okay? So it all starts with a vision. Now I use the where are you? Where you want to go? Why do you Want it? How are you going to get there? A lot. You've probably heard me share that because I think, I don't think nothing happens in the world unless you have a crystal clear vision of where you want to go. Everybody focuses on what they don't want. People who are successful focus on where they want to go, their destination, right? So I'd like you to think about that right now because we're going to start building this momentum is I want you to start thinking about where it is you really want to go. So if you have a pen, if you have a paper right now, write it down. Think about if it was a year from now. We're not going to go through this exercise long, but this is the foundation of so much of my education. But if it was a year from now and your business or your income or your side hustle or your side business was doing exactly what you wanted, what would that look like? How much money would you be making? What would you be doing on a daily basis? How would your heart feel? How would your confidence be? Your courage, your enthusiasm be? Right? So get a little vision on what you want. You probably already have this. We've taught this a lot. But think about it right now, because we're going to build this. And if it's not business, think about where do you want to go with your personal life? Where do you want to go with your health? Where do you want to go with your relationships, with your friendships, with your spouse, Right? Think about that. Because it all starts with having that vision of where it is we want to go. This is step one of the right enthusiasm to sell. Okay? You're creating your vision, know what it is, but then feel it and live it and envision it like vision. You're there. So let's say you want to start your own business. Let's just say it's real estate, right? You, you want to do 10 real estate, 10 wholesale deals in the next 12 months, and you want an average $7,000 each, right? That's 70, $84,000. You want to make extra with side business doing wholesaling with real estate. Let's put yourself there and see what that feels like, Right? Vision. What it feel like to wake up and go, wow, I just did my 10th deal. I made over $80,000. What does that feel like? What's my goals? How am I feeling courageously? Confidence? How am I treating my family? What am I doing with that money? Start feeling it and start building the passion of not only where you want to go, but Then the vision of what it feels like. Now, I'm trying to. This is a backdoor way to get you to sell like nobody's business, okay? So I want you to see what is the passion? How does that feel? How does that light you up? What is that emotion you'll feel? Attach an emotion to it. I talked about that on our New Year's training. If you. You got it. So I'll go quick on that one. So the third, now that you kind of know where you want to go, and then you envision what that goal is to where it's exciting. Now I want you to do something that. This is for people who feel like they procrastinate. I'm actually getting hot in here. People feel like they're going to procrastinate or they should have gotten started sooner and they didn't. I want you to think about smart selling yourself daily, persuading yourself daily. Because here's the thing. The world. I don't mean this in a negative way, but the world is set up to steal that from you because you get a little excited, you're getting ready to go do your thing, and then you watch something on the news, you hear from a friend, you watch the economy's changing. You had money in Bitcoin or stock market and things went sideways. I don't know what it is, but the world wants to steal it from you. So again, I'll use this analogy a lot. If you want to get in shape, can you go to the gym once and expect to be in shape for the rest of your life? Absolutely not. If you want to be enthusiastic, if you want to be passionate about what it is that you do, you have to sell yourself daily. You can't just get motivated today because we're here together and you're a group of hundreds of amazing people just like you. You have to sell yourself on a daily basis, no matter what that means. If it means writing your goals down and looking at them every day and looking in the mirror and selling them to yourself, that I am going to do this. I am going to get in the best shape of my life. I am going to do 10 wholesale deals. I am going to start my business. I am going to write that book and learn marketing. I'm going to start that online business. I'm going to sell my product on Amazon. I don't know what the heck it is, but you do. But you have to get yourself enthusiastic every day by focusing on your vision, how it's going to feel when it's done. Because when you sell yourself, enthusiasm comes automatically, passion comes automatically, and guess what? You become a persuasive person without selling. As always, our podcast is free. We don't even sell advertising space. So how you could pay us back is by helping other people get this information in their hands. So if you enjoyed today's podcast, go ahead and take a second and rate and review the show and and tell a friend. Heck, take a snapshot and put it on your Instagram. It's the best way for you to help other action takers get the knowledge they need to live into their full potential. And if you haven't already, go ahead and subscribe now. To get access to new episodes three times a week. You can go to the description for this podcast and check out the special links I shared with you to take your success, freedom, and abundance to a whole nother level.