How to Avoid Missing Opportunities

I don't think at the end of our lives, we will look back and say, I'm so glad I didn't speak up for what I wanted. I just don't. I think we will have regrets of saying, I could have. I should have. I would have. Right. That saying has been around forever. But what right now in your life do you need to say no to? Welcome to the Dean Grazios show. All success starts right here. Well, Renee, it is so awesome to have you here. Listen, before we get started, I've been watching you in our groups. The energy, the love you give, the authenticity you give, just what you give off is intoxicating. It's the reason I wanted to have you on this podcast. Because, listen, at the end of the day, especially in these shifting times in the world, we need a voice of inspiration. We need women entrepreneurs that are out there taking action, moving the needle, making an impact. And you are the shining example of that. So welcome to the podcast.

Thank you so much, Dean. I am so, so, so honored to be here. I'm so excited to talk with you, and it's honestly been my pleasure being in the groups and really showing up. It's been lighting me up, hopefully as much as I've lit everybody else up.

Well, good. So before we get started, I love your story. Listen, first off, I want you to tell the story, but I have kind of a connection, because we're gonna talk about the movie, about Frankie Valli. Right. The Broadway show. The movie, the Jersey Boys. Obviously, it's pretty much no. I think the whole world knows about Jersey Boys, and I want you to tell the story. But, you know, I told. I shared that with you. Frankie Valli, who the movie's about and I want to talk about. It was my dad's cousin, and his last name was. It was Frankie Castelluccio, right?

Yes.

Like. And not many people know, like, you know, so it's so funny. I grew up my whole life saying, oh, Frankie Castelluccio is my cousin. And it's cool that we have this connection, but I would love for you to tell that story, not just talk about how amazing it is and what you've done to be on Broadway to get the lead role to, you know, not to. I don't. I don't want to take away the ending, but the accomplishment you have is amazing. But it fits into all areas of life. So let's start with that story. I love it. And then I got some really great questions to drill down on.

Great. So I was doing Jersey Boys on Broadway in 2013. And I was so, so grateful because I'm really from New Jersey. This whole storyline, Dean, literally takes place just miles from my house. And in the show, they talk about Rahway Prison. And we laugh because when my family came to the show at one, Tommy DeVito says the line, you know, rahway Prison. And all of a sudden, you hear cheers from the audience. And I'm backstage, and my coworker's like, who's cheering for Rahway Prison? And I was like, oh, that's my aunt and uncle. They're here today. So it truly is close to home for me, literally and figuratively. So I'm having the time of my life doing eight shows a week. And we had been hearing that they were doing a film of the musical, like, doing a film version. So I was like, oh, awesome. Truly didn't think much of it because I was like, they're gonna hire a list celebrities. You know, Marisa Tomei is gonna play my role, the role of Mary Delgado. So I didn't think too much about it until one day I'm backstage, and again, one of my castmates says, clint Eastwood's here. And again I was like, oh, Clint Eastwood, like the legend. Oh, okay. Still went and did my show. But I go out for the entrance where the girls sing, my boyfriend's back. So we walk out there, we're, like, clapping, and I look out to the audience, and 10 rows back is Clint Eastwood. And I was like, oh, shoot. They weren't kidding. So I was like, okay, Clint, this one's for you. In my head. So had a great show, met him afterwards, and again, kind of just let that go. And then they started calling people in from the Broadway cast to audition for the film. And at this point, I was like, huh? It would be so cool to be a part of the film. I don't care if I'm a tree. I could just be, like, hiding behind the bushes. But, like, to be a part of that would be so special. So I talked to my agent. She's like, renee, I'm on it. Great. So now they put out a breakdown for the role of Mary Delgado. And for those of you who don't know what a breakdown is, it's basically a description of the character. So it basically was me, you know, sassy, sassy girl from New Jersey, blah, blah, blah, Mary Delgado, Frankie Valli's first wife. And I'm like, wait a minute. Like, I'm playing this role currently on Broadway, right? So now call my agent again and I was like, okay. So they put out a breakdown for Mary. This is crazy, but, like, it would just be awesome to get an appointment to audition. My agent's like, I'm on it. Okay. So few weeks are going by and other girls in the cast are getting called in for the role of Mary. I'm not getting any phone call. And I'm like, huh? Now, let me just sidetrack for a second. This business is crazy. You know, it's truly, I believe, one of the hardest businesses there is because there is no rhyme or reason. So at this point, I'm just like, oh, I hope I at least get an audition. So my agent calls me. She's like, renee, I don't know what's going on, but they won't see you for the role of Mary. And at this point, I'm like, but wait a second.

Like, I. I am Mary, but I am Mary.

I'm like, wait, I feel crazy right now. So she's like, I don't know. You know, something's going on. But they won't see you. But they will see you for one of the Angels who sing, my boyfriend's back. You can go in for that audition. And at this point, Dean, you know, I, like, threw my hands up. I was like, all right. I mean, I tried. What else can I do? I'm gonna go in and audition for one of the Angels. So I'll never forget this day. It was, like, raining a little bit. And the audition was down on Wall Street. And I'm in the audition room, and I'm talking to the wonderful casting director. His Name's Jeff, Jeffrey McClat. And were talking about how I'm really from New Jersey. And he had seen the show the night before, and he was like, renee, I loved it so much. And great, great, great. And then he says, would you like to sing or read first for the Angels?

And in the back of your head, you're like, don't you see that I'm Mary? What am I missing? Hello.

So I'm like. I'm like, well, I gotta take the ball into my own hands. And I said, you know, Jeff, I have to be honest with you. I was really hoping to come in and read for the role of Mary. And he looks at me and he goes, I was just thinking the same thing. And I was like, oh, my God. All right, great. And he's like, okay. So you can, you know, do the Angels audition, and then if you want, you can come back another day to audition for Mary. No, I'm here I was like, I'm not leaving this building until I do those damn scenes. So he was so wonderful. I did the angel stuff, sang my song, took, like, 20 minutes in the hallway, came back, did the scenes, and I left there. I'm not kidding. I felt so, like, elated. I was so. Just excited because I got the chance, you know?

You know? Yeah, yeah, of course, of course. Just that you're allowed in the room.

Yes, yes. Like, I was like, oh, my God, this happened. And honestly, this is. You know, I grew up Catholic, so I'll never forget. I'm walking back to the subway, and there was a church open, and I was like, I'm gonna go light a candle. I truly did. So go do my eight shows. Eight shows a week for the next few weeks. Don't even think about it again. I was just so grateful I got the opportunity. Cut to. I'm at. This is now, like, two and a half weeks later. I'm at my childhood home in New Jersey again, you guys. Down the street from where the whole storyline takes place. And I'm with my dad, my mom, and my grandmother. My. For my brother's wedding. My grandmother, she grew up with us, so she lived with me my whole life. Ah, the best. God rest her soul. So I get a phone call, and it's my agent. So I go in my little childhood bedroom with the, you know, little tv, with the vhs.

Yeah, yeah, of course. I already know. It's either an RCA or a Panasonic.

Yes, yes. So I go. And I sit at, like, my desk, and I pick up the phone. And she, like, took a second to kick in. It was on speaker. And I. And she goes, you're Mary Delgado in the movie. Clint Eastwood loved you. And I was like, I nearly peed my pants. I run out of the room, and my mom's like, what's the matter? And I'm hysterically crying. I'm like, I'm gonna be in a movie. And my dad's like, calm down, Renee. Calm down. I don't want you to pass out. And my grandmother goes, I've been praying for this for years. Like, 90 years old, sassy in the wheelchair, but, like, sharp as a tack. So I'm like, oh, my God, like, what? Freaking out. Okay, so now I'll save. You know, the story goes on a little bit, but I'll cut to the first day of me filming. So again, let me stop and say, I had never been on a TV set, a film set before. I had only done Broadway and tours. So for Me, I'll never forget. I was in the shuttle on the way to set, and I'm in my merry dress, and I'm about to film for the first time ever. Okay? It was, like, literally jumping off of a cliff. And I remember, like, looking up to the heavens, and I was like, well, here we go. And I step out of the shuttle and I walk in, and Clint Eastwood's team of people are the most wonderful people in the world. They're all as genuine and warm as him, and they're like, renee, welcome. And, like, immediately felt like I was with my family. And then Clint Eastwood comes up to me and he goes, you know, I went around to all the different casts, but nobody was in your class. And then you came in and put yourself on tape, and it was the icing on the cake. And I'm like, literally, like, holding back the tears. I'm like, can't mess up my makeup if you did it. And I'm literally like, holy shit. Right? So I filmed that first day, Dean. And, you know, to bring it to, like, the point of trusting yourself and just, like, believing that you can do something. I mean, again, this is. I'm doing a major motion picture, right? And I'll never forget, I'm, like, leaning on the bar for the first scene, and the camera comes up to me, and I was just like, all right, here we go. Now, I had never done this before, but I was like, this is the time to trust yourself. I did. It was amazing. So Clint and I, we would eat lunch together every time I filmed. And Dean, I would pick his brain like a maniac. I'd be like, clint, how did you start acting, Clint? What was this, like? Like, for me? I was like, I need to soak this experience up for all I can. I mean, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. So he really became like a mentor to me. So few weeks into the filming, it's he, myself, and the executive producer. And again, we're eating. That's all I do. And they start talking about how Clint knew that he wanted me for the role when he saw me on Broadway. And I was like, wait a second, come again? And they're like, yeah, like, Clint, we requested you to come in. And I said, do you guys want to hear a funny story?

Yeah. I couldn't even get in.

I was like, I couldn't even get an audition. They're like, brene, what do you mean? Like, we specifically requested the girl from Broadway. And I said, what do you mean? I said, I literally only auditioned for Mary, because I opened up my big mouth in the room, and I asked for what I wanted, and I said, jeff, I would really love to read for this role. And they're like, flabbergasted. I'm flabbergasted. I'm like, so what happened? And come to find out, some middleman casting associate just dropped the ball. He or she was, like, juggling a few films at once, and it was just a miscommunication.

Wow. I mean, listen, there are so many lessons in there, but if you didn't speak up, it probably never would have happened. They would have thought you didn't want to be a part of it. No.

Can you just imagine? Like, I just love this story, and I love sharing it so much because I love to hope, to inspire people to kind of. You know, when you feel something in your gut that you know is right, you know, say. Say what you have to say, because the alternative could be a missed opportunity.

Yeah. Regret.

Regret. And that, for me, is the worst. So. Yeah.

Well, listen, I want to tell you, I love your enthusiasm. I love the story. I wasn't interrupting one word of that story because it's so magical. But with that out, I mean, how cool is that? If you're watching or listening right now, think of how many missed opportunities there could have been along that. And you were a part of a movie that I absolutely love, especially because I'm related, because I'm Italian, because I'm from New York. It's right down the street, right?

Yeah.

I grew up listening to Frankie Valli and Frank Sinatra and Neil Diamond. You know, that was my grandmother's. That was her music. Right. So I know all those songs. It's so cool to go to Jersey Boy. I take friends there, and they're like, how do you know every single song? Like, if you're Italian, you don't know Frank Sinatra. And you know those. You don't know those songs. You're like, not really Italian. Know Frankie Valli. And anyway, so it means a lot to me, too, But I want to kind of break it down and go back a little. I would bet to say you not having done tv, not having done movies, you looked like an overnight success. Right. You're in a movie. You're in a movie with Clint Eastwood being the director and producer, and you're there overnight in the world. We all have this vision of, man, that Renee, she got lucky. Overnight success. She's never done a movie before, but really, you started planting seeds way long ago to make that happen. And I'D love to talk a little bit about that journey, because, listen, to be on Broadway in New York playing that role, you're amazing at singing, dancing, speaking. You're outgoing. You have work ethic to do eight shows a week. You have all those things, right? But most people don't see that to get to that movie, but they don't even see the work it took to get that lead in Broadway. So what are some of the struggles? Again, I was just trying to think of some questions that I think would be a little different than somebody would ask you. What are some of the struggles you had that no one else kind of knew? Those struggles? Maybe when you went in your bedroom and no one was there and you were crying or sad or trying to not be depressed or maybe not be anxious or get some sleep. What are some of those that you had?

Oh, Dean, I love that question so much, because you're so right. There was no overnight success. I mean, I. So from a little girl, five years old, I started dancing. And then I started singing and getting into theater. And in high school, I did all the plays. And then when it was time for college, I'll never forget this, I knew that I wanted to major in my one true love, which was performing. And I went to Waggoner College in Staten Island, New York. And I remember so many people saying, like, renee, well, what are you gonna fall back on, right? You know, I mean, this is a very, very unstable career. But I said, no, I'm gonna do it. And I remember, you know, just being, like, 20 years old, no, not even 18 years old, like, being like, no, I'm doing this. And from there, it set a fire in me to know that if anyone was going to make it happen, it was going to be me. And Dean, truth be told, I. I didn't have it easy even from the time I was a little girl. Okay, in the world of Broadway and dance, let's take dance specifically. You know, a lot of times dancers are tall, right? They want line and tall. I'm 5, 2, 5, 1 and 3 quarters. But my point is, so often I'd hear, like, renee, I mean, you're an amazing dancer, but, I mean, you're so short, like, you're petite. And I'm like, yep, okay, okay. And don't get me wrong, I had many times where, like, I would sit in my room and talk to my mom and be like, oh, like, why? Why are people always saying that? And why is that always, you know, the first thing that they say? And the frustration and The. You know, sometimes the. The questioning yourself, like, can I do this? Am I good enough? Oh, my God, Dean, that's. That happens all the time.

Still happens to me to this day.

Are you kidding me? It was like, you know, yesterday. I was feeling it, of course. But the. But the beauty of it is the awareness, number one. Number two, you know, in connecting, with communication, being able to say to yourself, okay, I'm aware that this is here, but am I gonna let it stop me? And having the. The.

What do you think that line is, though? Because, listen, I still have that voice. I've always. You know, I guess it's trendy now to say, the imposter syndrome. I didn't know what that voice was, and I didn't have a name for it when I was 17 saying, you're not good enough. You didn't go to the right school, you don't have money. You're. You're from a tiny little town. No one in your family makes money. Like, who thinks you're gonna think, right? And then every level, you start the business. Am I worthy enough to scale this business? Am I worthy enough to be partners with this guy, to write a book, to launch to the world? Like, every level, that voice is still inside of me saying, you're not good enough. You're not this, you're not that. It's really just having a little bit stronger voice saying, that's a lie. And if we. If we believe that voice, we'll get what that voice says. But what do you think? I mean, this is just a really. Like, I didn't rehearse this. Like, what do you think the difference is? Because everybody wants more. I don't care who. If you're listening to my podcast, you're someone who wants more, and everybody, you know, wants more. If you're listening, that means you're somebody going after it. But why do most people that want more hear that voice and actually believe it and let it kind of allow you to live a flat life compared to not giving into it? Like, what do you think you're. If you had to come up with a couple reasons why you didn't listen to that voice that said, you're too short, you come from the wrong town, you're not, you know, you're not this, you're not that, or you're going into an industry that nobody makes it in, right?

What kept you going, Dean, that's so great to analyze? Because I think two things for me have been the biggest shift change, right, of trying to listen to the better voice as opposed to all the noise. And number one is the thought of if I don't do this, if I don't prove to my family myself that I could freaking do this, Even though I'm 5:2, even though, you know, I came from a place where I knew no one in the business, I worked my butt off, grew up, you know, my father worked his butt off in a factory his whole life to pay for my dance lessons, voice lessons. I. How would it feel if I don't do that? Oh, that means I have to do it. And number two, and I talk about this a lot is taking imperfect action, right. Like having the ability to just kind of leap and the net will appear. And I know for a lot of people that that's hard to do. Right. It's like, oh, I can't do it unless I'm total ready. And for me, I think it was just always that push from behind because of the thought that if I don't do it, I won't be able to live with myself. I'll have the regret because, you know, I was given this talent and this skill for a reason. Right. So I have to use it. So. But Dean, till this day, like, I could be walking on stage, I could be speaking to a room full of people about communication. And the heart's like this, right? And the voice is going like, oh, my God, are you going to do this? Are you going to mess up? I don't know. But it's about being like, shut up. I got this. And thinking about, again, this is to serve. This is for them. Right. It's not about me. And that's really, really helped me because like you said, no matter how far I've gotten in my career or how far I'll continue to go, that will still be there. But it's just about saying, okay, I'm going to just that noise is going to be there. I'm not going to fight it. Which I used to do when I was younger. I wanted to fight it, but it's like, let it be there and just push forward.

Yeah. You know, and here's the thing. I have these conversations with people a lot. Some people say it's not good to feel the pain of not being successful. It's better to focus on where you want to go. And I got to call BS on that. I think it takes so much energy to overcome the obstacles, to overcome the inner self doubt, to overcome the doubt of some family members who are like, you know, Renee, I love you and I think you're so talented, but you should have backup, right? And they're trying to convince you not to burn the boats. And we know the only way to be successful is to burn the boats. You gave yourself no other option, right? And I would bet to say at the end of your life, even if you gave yourself no other option and you didn't get the lead role, you'd still be happier with yourself than giving in and going backwards, right? So how do we overcome all that? And I believe we use whatever is more aligned with us. I've been on stage of 15,000 people, and I say, who's in this room? Because they want to move away from something painful. They want to move away from not letting people down. They want to move away from showing people that they can do it, or they want to quit the job or just end the bad situation. And half the audience raises their hand. And then I say, who in here's life's okay? You're not going through a tough time, but you know there's more for you. And the other half raised their hands. So we're either moving away from something that can be painful, or life's okay, and we want to move towards something pleasureful. I mean, I'm not a rocket science. Everything in life is done to avoid pain and seek more pleasure. Think of every decision you make in your life. You want to fall in love, you want to get more, you want to get the pain. You want to eliminate the pain of being alone, and you want to gain the pleasure of love, right? Like, that's our whole life. But what I think is identifying it and being okay with it and leaning and amplifying it. Listen, I would bet to say that the days you wanted to give up, there was moments where you said, I can't let my dad down. Look how hard he works for me. I can't let my friends go. I see. I told you Renee would never make it. She's too short, right? Like, I think about, I'm a move away person. I am more motivated of thinking going back to there or letting people down or having people say, I knew Dean would never make it. He's not that smart. No one's gonna say that crap about me. And if they do, they'll be like, he may have failed, but damn, that guy's scrappy.

He never right now.

But I say it to somebody like, no, I never think about that. I think about where I could go. What I just suggest to everyone is figure out which one drives you and amplify it. Like, if you have a cut, flick it like you need to feel pain. Pain causes pain or pleasure cause you to move. So I love that you shared that. And listen, I don't think we should live there forever. I don't think we should live in a place of fear or trying to show people. But if that gets the rocket off the ground, then use it.

Yes. And you know, Dean, you just have me thinking back to one of my first professional theater jobs I did. I was on the 25th anniversary tour of Cats the Musical. Now let me tell you something. It is still to this day, the hardest show I've ever done. Because I was a swing. So that means I covered six different roles. So I didn't know just one role. I knew six. But I wasn't on stage every day. So what that means is if no one was out sick of those six people that I covered, then I was singing backstage in the booth. Okay? So this being the hardest show, I mean, physically, Dean, I never danced harder. I'm in fur from head to toe, 20 pounds of makeup. I mean, singing high Cs. I mean, it was insane. And I had to be so self motivated because the truth is, no one made me do the show every day on the side of stage, right? I could have just sat there and been like, oh, when I go on, I'll be fine. But I was like, hell no. In my mind, I'm like, I'm not gonna make an idiot out of myself. I'm not gonna hurt someone else on stage. Cause I'm not ready. So do you know what I would do every day? I would stand on the side of stage and I would do the show full out, full out, like as if I was on stage. And some people were like, you're crazy. Like, why do you work so hard? I'm like, why do I work so hard? Okay, watch me. When I go on stage, it will feel like I've already done it. Because I have trained my muscle memory and my mind and my body to feel like I've already done it. And going back to what you're saying about like, you know, letting the thought that people are going to say, like, oh my God, Renee, like, did a crappy job when she went on stage, that fueled me, right? I was like, no, I could do this. You only do one role. But I do six. And when I go on, you're going to think that I only do one role because it's going to feel so good. But that job taught me, like that ability to motivate yourself. Dean is Such a. It's such a skill that I think I didn't realize until I did that job. Because, again, it's. You know, I know Tony talks about this, practicing under pressure, right?

Yeah.

That's so key. Not just for a performer, for any business. When you're an entrepreneur, like, every time you're practicing, put yourself in that atmosphere. And that's what I would do. Like, I'd be, like, full out, like, with this little bit of space, like, doing the show. People backstage are like, what's going on? I'm like, I gotta do this right. But it's true. It makes such a difference because you don't realize how, you know, we control our minds, our bodies. And when you've done it over and over again, your body's ready for when you're doing it for real.

Yeah. So I got a question for you.

Yes.

Doing Cats, playing six roles, I always see. When I go to a play and I see the two or three people that I've seen, like, five times, I always admire them. Like, oh, man, she was dressed different in that last act. She had shorter hair. She had blonde hair. She was in it. I'm always like, wow, that person's a badass. So now I know what it's called. And you had six different roles. It's a swing. So I'm going to know that next time. But let me ask you. So you're a swing doing six roles in Cats. Did you want to be in Cats for the rest of your life doing swing?

Absolutely.

Did you absolutely love that role? I'd bet to say no. I mean, it was probably good, but you didn't love it. You knew there was more.

Yes.

But did you do it to the best of your ability?

Oh, my God.

And this is something I talk about all the time, is how we do one thing, is how we do everything. And here's what I want to tell you, especially because you grew. I know exactly the town you grew up in and where you live. I grew up probably 60 miles north of you in a little town called Marlborough, New York. If you know the town, it's a town of 6,000 people. Most people are Italian. Everybody's blue collar. Like, I worked with my dad in his collision shop. And then at a very early age, my dad kind of went off, did his own thing. I had my own collision shop at 21 years old. It's called Dean Collision. I drove a tow truck at night. You just. You could picture it. You live in the same kind of area.

I know you. I'm like, I see this the whole time.

I had a, I had a blue and white stripe button up with Graziosi on that, like on the thing, you know what I mean? And I was working on houses at night. Here's what I want to tell you. This is something I want to share with everybody. I see so many people that want another level. They want money and income or money and time, freedom, right? And we should, we should all go after another level of ourselves. But I watch so many people in the thing that they don't like it. They not only despise it, they do it kind of haphazardly half assed. And they're waiting like, ah, this just sucks. I'll just do it until heaven comes along. Until a knight in shining armor saves me. Until the great opportunity opens. And I don't believe God, the universe, whatever believe you believe in is going to award you or reward you with that next level. If you don't do the one thing good, it's not going to. Why would you get your next level opportunity when you're screwing up on the one in front of you? So the reason I shared this is because I can remember being in my early 20s and I worked on cars every day. Like, if you've ever been to a collision shop, there's fumes in there. I always had headaches. And your hands are in water because you're sanding cars and you're painting. And I was the best painter in our shop, so I always did the painting. I always had headaches. But if you came in that collision shop, just so you know, between us, I hated it. Like, hated it. I hated being dirty every day. I hated in the summer when like the dust from sand and all the cars would stick to you. And like, I just hated it. There was dirt under every day. I'd scrub my nails so hard they were raw, so I didn't have dirt underneath it. But if you came in there and I fixed your car, you'd leave there going, damn, that kid loves his job. Because I did it to the best of my ability. Because you know how I knew it was temporary and that's what I want to encourage everybody. Renee knew it was temporary. Did she love doing six different roles and being in Cats? I'm sure it was a great accomplishment, was probably the biggest accomplishment ever. But you knew there was more for you and you could do one of two things. You could look at the lead role of something else, be like, oh, if I only had that, I'd really be happy. Or you could say, I'm getting that. But I must do this now when no one's watching. So the universe, the success auditor, whoever you believe gives you that pass to your next level. And let me just tell you something. In my own life, I worked on cars. Like I loved it, even though I hated it. I drove a tow truck at night like I loved it, even though I hated getting up in the middle of the night and going picking up wrecked cars. But I fixed the gentleman's car and it came out great. He came and I had great attitude, lots of energy. He's like, God, you love this. I'm like, ah, the truth? No, but if I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it 100%. He's like, well, what else you got going on, young man? And I said, well, you know, I'm in real estate. I flipped a couple houses. I've done this. I own 20 apartments and I work on those at night. He's like, what's your. What deal are you working on? I'm like, oh. So I tell him. And I was working on a vacant piece of property. It was 20 acres. It was $180,000. I remember the number. And I wanted to buy it, subdivide it, and build houses on it. I'd already done a small subdivision of four houses. Now I wanted to do 20 houses. And I had half the money through credit cards and saved up money, but I couldn't come up with the other half, and the bank wouldn't give me money on a vacant piece of property. I talked to him for a half hour. He said, well, what do you need to get that property? I said, actually, I need 90 grand. He's like, what if I wrote you a check and became your partner? Now, if I would have been like, here's your car collision. Work sucks. Poor me. Can you give me money to save me? If you give me money, then I could buy this. I didn't say anything. The universe said, this kid hates it. He's still doing to the best of his ability. Let's give him that deal. I closed that deal as one of the most successful deals in my life ever. That deal helped me become a millionaire by 27 years old. I mean, it was unbelievable. The only reason I didn't want to talk about me, the only reason I see that in you and I'm so impressed by it, is because I know doing six roles, practicing when it wasn't even your turn, that's not something you were asked to do. That was something you did over and above. And it's like, I love that term of like, you were doing it when no one was watching.

Yeah. And you know, Dean, also, like, for those of you listening, if you could look at that job that you hate right now, right. That situation you're in that just makes your skin crawl. If you can, like flip the script and say, okay, I know that this sucks, but what can I take out of this thing that sucks that is going to teach me for the rest of my life, for me doing that job, Dean, I still to this day, now that was in 2005. I still to this day say that was the best training that I could have been given right out of college. Because let me tell you, once I could do six roles, I was like, I could do anything. And it was, you know, a bus and truck tour all over North America. On a bus for 12 hours and then getting up to like dance. I mean, it was. But guess what? As much as it sucks sometimes, that prepared me for the rest of my career because.

Amen.

You know, Renee, you can do anything. If you could do that, guess what? You can handle this. And you learned now the beauty of having that self motivation of taking the step forward. And let me tell you, in every other show I've done, it has served me. In every single show, I did west side Story, the revival on Broadway. It was my Broadway. And Dean, it was like such a dream. That was another amazing, crazy story. But once I got in the show, same thing. I was a swing at first. I covered the jets and the Sharks. I was doing America, and then I was doing the jets song. I mean, I was all over. But one day in rehearsal, Arthur Lawrence, the late, great Arthur Lawrence, who was our director, saw me in a rehearsal and we were rehearsing. And again, I was a swing. So I was, you know, covering Rosalia, who sings America with Anita. And the girl playing Rosalia was leaving because she booked another job. So they were going to be holding auditions. So Arthur Lawrence saw me in that rehearsal. Now, again, it was just rehearsal. I could have had kind of half assed it, not sang full out. You know what I mean? Showed up, kind of just like, oh, whatever. But like, whatever I do, I give 500%. So for me, it's a rehearsal, it's a performance. Same thing. So I went in there, I did my thing, and my agent calls me. She's like, arthur wants to know if you can take over the role for Rosalia, because they were gonna hold auditions. But then he saw you in the rehearsal. And I'm like, oh, my God, yes. And, like, again, you just. You don't know what opportunities are around the corner. But it's about showing up. And it's about showing up, I believe, with grace, with love, and knowing that, like, okay, this isn't my final step, but this is a step. And what I tell my clients is, the juice is in the journey. Right? That's where the juice is. Like, Dean, I'm sure you learned so freaking much from working in that garage. Even though you hated the pain, you had headaches. Like, I'm sure now where you are, you carry so much of who you.

Were at that point in your life and completely. Renee, I love this conversation because. And, you know, because you've watched my stuff and, you know, I think this way, but for everybody else, it's like, what if that was part of the journey? Whether you believe in God, the universe, karma? What if it's laid out and you had to prove yourself at each step? Like. Like, I always picture, like, someone's auditing you, like your success auditor, right? It's like, okay, put Renee as a swing doing six roles. I want to see how she acts when no one's looking. Yeah, she's still practicing. Wow. She's practicing harder than that. Okay, let's give her a shot at west side. Was it west side Story? Yes, let's give her a shot at west side Story. Wow. Look at how she's doing in rehearsals. You know what? Let's give her a shot at the role. Like, what if you thought. I don't think people are guiding us at that meticulous level. But I believe that. Because if you're like, oh, I gotta do. I want the lead role. Poor me, right? If you even just have a hint of that, just 5% of your soul, I believe there's a success order that goes, nah, she's not worthy. That's cool. She could say a swing. Leave her a swing for a while, because I see the girl next to her practice, and when no one's looking, let's give her a shot. Now I think about that stuff. So when life goes sideways or throws me a loop or something. Listen, I don't like failing. I don't like getting taken advantage of. I don't like feeling insecure. I don't like if I feel like I didn't give 100%. But if I look at all of those and say I didn't like it. But what if that made me a better version of me, made me stronger, navigated new territory, and all it's doing is preparing me for what God or the universe of the world has next. When you look through that lens, it's like, man, if I'm going through this hard of a time, wow, what's on the other side of that? And it's just a shift in your mindset.

And also, Dean, like, don't you feel like so. And I know you do because I just listened to your podcast about, you know, your own upbringing and drawing that line in the sand. Right. And I loved hearing you talk about that because I really believe that everything that you're given is a lesson and a chance for you to be more well rounded. Right. Like, listen, what a blessing to, like, you know, have a life where you grew up, maybe with a lot of money from the get go. You never really had to work hard. Everything was kind of handed to you. Sure. You know, we all joke and say, wouldn't that be nice? But no, it wouldn't. No, it wouldn't. And because what, what? It's almost like, you know, when you have the cuts, that that's what makes you like, oh, you know, these are the bruises of my life. Right.

This is.

Not through this. I got through this. But if you have never gone through those, those shifts and ups and downs, what do you have to.

How do you know? What do you have to measure it against?

Yes.

Right. You have nothing to measure it against.

And I feel like that's what connects us. Right. Like, when I hear your story, God, how you were brought up and with your father and what you went through, like, I connect with you through that. And in my own life, you know, again, going back to my career as a performer, I am so proud of the fact, Dean, that again, like, I knew no one in the business. Everyone in my family's like, wait, where you want to go on Broadway? Like, huh? You know, like, where did you go? Where did that come from? And everything I did was like, me working my butt off, you know, having to get past the naysayers. And that makes me, to me, feel so much stronger because I can share that story now.

Ok, so let's fast forward. So what are you doing now?

So what am I doing now? So now I am a communication coach. So I help to guide women and men to just own their power and gain confidence in themselves and clarity in their relationships by becoming comfortable with authentic communication.

Wow. And how does that. How do you feel? Listen, having such an amazing journey in your life, do you still do any acting or is that.

Yeah, well, I mean, you know, before this whole world shut down. Yeah, yeah, I was doing. So after doing the film and being out in la, I lived there for four years. I did a TV show out there for a little bit. And then I wrote my one woman show while I was out there, performed it, and then, Dean, you'll love this. I came home, my husband and I literally purchased a house from California, New Jersey, literally, on Zillow. Okay. Purchased it before stepping inside, because my husband, we knew he was gonna gut it, but we literally bought it and we came back one weekend and my husband's like, you ready to see our house? I'm like, let's go. So when we drove across country and at that point, I, you know, my agent and I in la, you know, we separated ways on beautiful terms. But it was just like, okay, I'm moving back to New York. I had no agent, no nothing again. It was like, Renee did a movie major, you know, feature film. Guess what? Now I have no agent. I'm moving back to New York. And you know what I did? I went to an open damn call for a little musical called Pretty Woman, the musical on Broadway based on the film Julia Roberts. And I booked the workshop. So there was a workshop of the show, and I booked it. I had never worked with the director, Jerry Mitchell, who is a wonderful, amazing director. And we did the workshop. And then he asked me to be a part of the Broadway company and be the dance captain. And his assistant. He was the assistant to the choreographer was my title. So I did that, Dean. But, like, by myself. So. No.

That's so amazing.

So that was the last show I did that closed in August. And then right after that show closed, I hadn't done my one woman show in New York. I wish I knew you then because you would have loved it. I'll do it again. Maybe. At one point, I did my one woman show, and it was so special for me because my mom and dad hadn't seen the show. And it's about my family. It's called I Am Me because of three. Because of my mom, dad and grandmother. And my dad and mom got to see it.

Oh, that's so amazing.

It was amazing. So that was the last kind of performing I did until I started focusing on my coaching.

Well, is the coaching filling your heart up?

Oh, my goodness, Dean. This lights me up so much. Like, communication, talking about it, sharing it, you know, teaching tools is just. It's my spirit. It's in my spirit. And I always felt this calling. And it feels so nice to now be living in it and sharing it.

Well, I have to tell you, I've been watching your journey for almost a year now, and I have to say, it's been fun to watch your enthusiasm, your energy, but also there's a depth of authenticity behind it. So I know that's why you're successful. I know you have the grit. I know you keep going. And I just love the journey of the end result is so amazing. But we all need to see the glimpses of the failures, the insecurities, the times you didn't think it would work, the times if you didn't speak up. Because I think if you took anything from today, there's a lot of things. Some of the things are, I don't think at the end of our lives, we will look back and say, I'm so glad I didn't speak up for what I wanted. I just don't. I think we will have regrets of saying, I could have. I should have. I would have. Right? That saying has been around for forever. But what right now in your life do you need to say no to? What right now in your life do you need to say yes to? Or what in your life do you need to say, enough is enough, or it's a time to end something or it's time for new beginnings? And sometimes that starts with simply voicing it, with saying it out loud and saying it with meaning. And that's why I love what you're doing, Renee. I love that you're helping people. How do people find you?

So you can find me on Instagram. Reneemarinofficial. Send me a DM. I love them. Also on Facebook, eneemarino. And yeah, I have a website as well. Renemarino.com Come say hello. I'd love to meet you.

Yeah. And we'll put all the notes below in the show. This has been fun. You know, I don't do a lot of people on my podcast. Most of them are just me. So I only do people that light me up that I know can really deliver value. And you delivered your soul today, and you delivered so much great wisdom. So thank you for being here, Renee. I'm going to be your cheerleader from this side.

Thank you so much, Dean. I'm your cheerleader. Thank you.

Listen, it's such an honor and a privilege and a pleasure to have you guys here on my podcast. The podcast is on fire because of you. We haven't been promoting it because of word of mouth. We're doubling every month since we started, and it's. It's all because of you. I appreciate this. I appreciate the, the wisdom, the messages. Make sure you follow me on Instagram and let me know because you can hit me up with DMS and let me know any topics that you want me to talk about. Again, if you love this, share it with friends, like it, post on it, comment, anything you can do to keep the momentum forward so we can affect more people's lives. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it and also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. Remember, all success starts here.