How To Build MASSIVE Confidence

Today we're going to be talking about confidence. And there's a reason I want to talk about that today and why I feel it's so crucial to your success. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here, when people will come up to me and say, dean, how did you get successful? I think sometimes people want this, like, one thing that no one's ever told them. Oh, it's that that's how I get there. That's how I'm happier. That's how I have more enthusiasm, more energy, make money. And it's really not like there's no one magic pill. As I discover new things and write new books and have new breakthroughs, I get to share those with you. Now, here's what I want to share. Today we're going to be talking about confidence, and there's a reason I want to talk about that today and why I feel it's so crucial to your success. Some of this stuff I covered in my book in Millionaire Success Habits. You read it? Some of it I covered in my winning State of Mind course. But it comes across different when, of course, it's live, when I'm going deeper, talking to this group, different than reading the pages off a book or watching a video that's not interactive. And also it's going to come across different to you depending on what phase or what place you're at at a certain time. So when I still do a lot of masterminds, I still go to a lot of groups, pay for consulting. I do all those things to just keep growing who I am, my businesses and the I am. But I know this, like, I can revisit confidence once a month and it will position differently in my life the moment that I'm in it. Sometimes it could be a new company that I'm starting and I'm a little nervous or scared or going, you know, sideways with a new company, and it's like, wow. And when I start building the confidence, I break through, go the other next level. Sometimes it's parenting and I'm lack of lacking confidence in a certain area or negotiating or sometimes it's, you know, restructuring a company or all those things depending on when it hits me in my life, it's the perfect message. So what I'd love for you to think about right now is what area of your life right now are you dying to go to the next level? If you're watching Millionaires Success Habits Monthly, I'd bet to say it's maybe partially or a lot income, the kind of revenue you're generating. Or maybe you want to work in an area of your life. Was it Steve who recently lost his job? Job. You shared that Savario. Sorry, Saverio. Recently lost his job. You know, wherever you are, let this sink into that moment. You want to fix the relationship you're in because, you know, intimacy is not there. Your partner in business, it's not working. Like, take what we share and see how it fits in. Because here's what I know. There are key metrics to success. There just are. I've been blessed to have a lot of success. Thank you. That's not bragging. I feel very fortunate. But when I look, it wasn't a million things, and it wasn't one thing. It was a handful of things. But then the more people I get to meet and presidents of the United States and billionaires and all these cool people I never thought I'd meet. Dinner with Michael Jordan and all these baseball Emmett Smith and all these just great people I've been lucky enough to meet. Who knew that I'd ever do that, right? But when I do, I realize they have these same attributes hen millionaire success habits. Hence that sometimes I fall back on these things. Like, oh, we're to talk about confidence today. I was hoping for this next level breakthrough thing. Yeah, we're going to cover all that. Sometimes I'll get very tactical, you know, on these millionaire success habits monthly, I promise you some months we'll get tactical where I might teach you how to build an online funnel that makes you money. People go in on one side, money spits out on the other side. But without the core foundation of certain things, none of that will work, I assure you. I've seen it in enough people. So let's talk about confidence. Is the number one thing to teach people is to protect your confidence. So think about that. Protect your confidence. What does that mean? Well, on a big scale, just real quick to kind of get in the space that we're talking about today. Have you ever had a massive breakthrough in your life? Have you ever closed that deal, started the relationship, walked into a room feeling good about yourself, closed the boardroom, got the promotion when your confidence was down. Think about that. Think about how you question yourself. Think about how you focus on what's wrong. Think about all the things that happen when your confidence is down compare to the opposite when your confidence is up. You close the deal, you get the relationship, you get the girl, you get the guy, you get the. You get the promotion, you get it. All right, so if we can Protect that and have pieces in place that you can snap out of lack of confidence into a state of peak confidence. Then you have the ability to do more, to go quicker. So why is confidence on my mind? Why did I want to share this with you today? You know, remember NBC back in the old days when Friends was popular and Jerry Seinfeld, if you're in the States, you know what I'm talking about. NBC used to have a slogan. Nice. If I haven't seen it, then it's new to me. So if you didn't watch live, it's still new to you. Same value. So glad to have you here. So why is confidence on my mind? So I talk about my kids a lot. If you know me, that's one of my definitions of success. We all can have our own definitions. Mine is coaching softball and coaching baseball and making the dance recitals and cooking my kids breakfast every morning and making sure I get home to play horse in the backyard in the basketball hoop with my son Brody and all that stuff. That's success to me. That's my new criteria. It's not the Lambo and the fancy watches and all. I stopped wearing watches, even hardly ever wear a watch. That's success to me. Time. Time is so precious to do what I want, when I want to do it right. So my daughter, who is playing softball. So I watched my daughter, and I have a family meeting with my kids every Sunday. If you guys watch me, you know that I've shared that before every Sunday. They're not always perfect, but we do the best we can to do Sunday meetings. And this week, the Sunday meeting was on confidence. And here's why. My daughter pitches on her softball team. She's kind of the starter pitcher. She's not bragging. True. And there's much better girls than her, but on her specific team, she's probably the best pitcher on the team. Throws really fast. I mean, unbelievable how fast she throws. I can't even throw that underarm pitch, that softball pitch, right? So last year, when I watched my daughter play, my daughter would play in spurts, really good. I want you to think about. I'm talking about my daughter, but I want you to think about you or your children or your parents or your spouse or just you in general. I would watch my daughter play, and she'd have this intensity, and I'd see this, like, not a smile, but, you know, that confident, like, got this feeling. I'd watch her play and she'd pitch good, catch good, hit good, and then something would go Wrong. She'd miss a ball. She'd walk two batters in a row. She'd hit a high pop and they'd catch it. And I'd watch my daughter, she was only nine at the time, but I'd watch her facial expressions change. I'd watch her shoulders go down. I'd watch her stand different. And I'd watch the game just freaking unravel. Couldn't throw a strike again. She'd be up on the mound and she'd be looking at me since I'm one of her coaches. And she'd be like, dad. I could tell she's like, dad, take me out, get me out of this game. Pull the chute I want off this pitcher's mound when she's rocking it. She loves being in control of the game, believe me, she loves the control of it when she's not. She wants to pull the chute and run. What's the difference? So the conversation I had with her a lot of this winter while she was off baseball, getting ready for spring baseball was simply this. Do you think halfway through the games that your arms stop working, that you weren't an athlete anymore? She'd say, no. Like, do you think you forgot how to pitch? She's like, no. I'm like, did your legs start hurting? Did you have a blister? Like, what happened? She's like, no. I'm like, what do you think happened? Do you think anything happened here or do you think it happened here? And I had these conversations with her subtly, 20 times, but never specific because she's 10. She doesn't want to get preached, believe me, Sometimes she's like, dad, I don't need a lesson today. Right? So I get that. But what I realized is, or wanted her to realize had nothing to do with her capabilities. It had to do with what was going on between her ears and what dropped. What changed? I'm asking you guys. Her confidence. One thing triggered her lack of confidence and then it affected everything. It had a snowball effect going down the mountain, getting worse. And the more she threw a bad one. It was self fulfilling. I couldn't throw a strike. Another ball. Oh, another ball. Oh my God. Dad, just take me out, please. Nothing changed except her confidence. So why our family meeting yesterday again? I'm talking about my daughter, talking about my life. I'm hoping you're thinking about something in your life. Remember, that's what I'm doing here, that's my job, is to provoke your thoughts, provoke your thinking, to see how important this is. So I've been talking to her and talking to her, and game one comes, and I have to be honest with you, the first game my daughter had, I'm going to digress. She had 102 fever, and it was the first game of the year. Starting pitcher, she didn't go to school. She was sick as heck. And I always tell my kids, and I'll tell you, it's something I won't digress. I always say, professionals do it with a headache. I say, it's Bri and Brody. It's really easy to have everything go great when you're loving what you do, when you feel perfect, when all is aligned. That's not a judge of character. A judge of character comes in when someone says no and they should have said yes, or someone doesn't show up or someone's late or the deal falls through, or you don't feel. Feel good or you're in a bad mood or your relationship broke up. But you still got to close the deal. Professionals still go and close the deal. Professionals do it with a headache. And I told the story of Michael Jordan when he was playing the final game against the Jazz when I was younger, and he was sick as hell. He had food poisoning, throwing up fever, and he went in and won the. You know, won the game. Sick professionals do. Hey, so my daughter's sick. All that comes back to me. She goes to the game and she pitches, makes it. Halfway through the game, she gets really sick. I gotta take her home. So, anyway, I digress there. I'm really bragging about my kids here. But what I want to share with you is this her first real game, she shows up, and I see this layer of intensity, this layer of level of confidence. I'm like, oh, man, if she can keep that. And through the entire game, all I said subtly is like, brie, you're keeping that confidence level, aren't you? And she just kind of like. I got goosebumps talking about. Because it hit her. I mean, who watching right now wishes somebody told you that at 10 years old, I'm like, I want to come back as my kid, right? I'm not doing it for her. I'm just giving it to her. So she's doing it. So I'm not taking credit from her, but I watched her live this confidence, and halfway through the game, she made a couple mistakes, and she still had it. Three quarters of the way through the game, she still had it. Then last night, we had another game. And so last night, she had another game. I'm here Tuesday, if you're not in the states, and Sunday she had a. Saturday, she had a game. Sunday was our family meeting. And what I said to her, I said, bri, your level of confidence, you just held it. I'm so proud of you. Remember, the arm doesn't give out. This gives out. And then she had a game last night that they won the game. She pitched and she did so amazing. And even if she didn't do great, I was more focused on watching her swagger. I was watching her swag, I was watching the confidence and she never lost it. And she had fun and. And she got into flow. She got into state and she enjoyed the game right to the winning pitch. So why does all that matter to you? Because confidence is a key metric to your success. I said before, whatever's gone good in your life when your confidence is down. And so I said this in Millionaire Success Habits. I'm going to say it again now. Confidence isn't a scale of 1 to 10, right? So I'm using my daughter. So many of these examples. When your confidence is at a nine, you're screwed. I guess I just sometimes put it bluntly, right? Really, your confidence on a scale of one to ten, I'm a five today. I'm a little off. No, if you're a nine, you are not your best self. If you're a nine, you make decisions that are safe. If you're at a nine with your confidence, you take the abuse. If you're at a nine with a confidence, you let your friends make you feel bad about yourself. If you're a nine at a confidence level, you accept the crappy pay that you receive or a boss treating you in a way you shouldn't be treated, or saying, maybe next year I'll try this new business or finally get into real estate or whatever it is you so desire. Lack of confidence is that thing that keeps you stall, keeps you stalled. And then what happens is things build on it. Everything seems heavier. Like, so did you ever feel an off a day and your wife or your husband or somebody in your life or you booked that you had to go to a party? How do you feel when you're confident? You're having a bad day and it kind of tags your confidence like, ah, this really isn't working. I don't really want to be around people today. I don't really. We got to go to that party. You walk in, you try to hide from people. Your confidence is only off a little bit. So if it can make you feel that way for A party or a crowd, how does that affect you? Your next level of life, your abundance, your joy, your happiness, Right? We. We live in this place where we sabotage ourselves by robbing our confidence. So here's what's great about these trainings and I want to share this with you. Take what serves you and implement it immediately. Throw the rest away. Take what serves you, write it down, implement it in your life as fast as humanly possible. When we're done today, write an email, send a letter, make a call, say no, say yes. Do something today to take your confidence up in the areas that you need it. That's how you get multiples out of the pennies that you pay to be here. Literally, you put it in play and watch this compound your life, your happiness, lower complexity, bring in money. I made some notes because I don't want to miss anything. So we talk about protecting your confidence. We talk about having the ability to gain confidence. So many things in life rob it from us and we don't know how to get it back. So what I'd like to do today is go over some things that I think can get you to find the confidence that's inside of you. You know, confidence is like enthusiasm. Confidence is like energy. I think when people see someone that's really confident, I'm not talking about an extrovert. I'm talking about the coolest thing is when someone's like quiet confidence, right? Like someone walks in a room and they don't even say anything. Like, who's that? Right? That's you. It's in there. We are not born with confidence. We are not born with extra energy or extra enthusiasm. We get to make it, we get to create it. We are in control of our confidence level. Even if you don't think so, even if you go, no, no, no, Dean, you don't know who I am. I'm shy. I'm the shyest person you. No. How crazy is that? I could talk to this camera for three hours. I can go on stage with 15,000 people and love it and feel alive. Everybody gives me their energy back. If you've ever been to any of my live events, you know the energy I have on stage because I'm just taking it from you. But after the event, if there's the after hour party, I'm shy. I have to force myself because I'm an introvert. I have to force myself to go because I love people, but I just. It's just hard for me. But I know I've learned how to gain a Quiet confidence that I can walk in the room, I can walk on stage, I can talk on this camera. I can. I can walk up to somebody. I can say yes, I can say no. And that's not who I was. I was the kid who hid behind my dad's or mom's leg every time we went someplace. I was the guy who quit school. I mean, would skip school on the days you had to stand up and speak in front of everybody. But I found a way to harness energy, Harness enthusiasm. Enthusiasm. And gain confidence, especially when I need it the most. Now I want you to make more money. That's just who I am. I'll never apologize for that. Because you make more money, you have the ability to take care of other people in your life. You have the ability to become a better version of yourself. If you could take the stress and worry of bills or get a nutritionist and a naturopath and a personal trainer and eat organic food, healthier. So many relationships where they say 80% of divorce, something had to do with finances. Are you kidding me? If you can take money out of the way, that goes away. You can focus on the relationship more, right? So I will never apologize for wanting you to make more money. And even if I'm talking about confidence today, subconsciously that helps you make more money, but it helps you in all areas of your life. You're going to go talk to your kids about something that's bugging you. Confidence will help that fix a relationship. Confidence. Walk in the gym. Do it with pride. Confidence. Make more money. Confidence. So how do we start? Well, there's a lot of different ways. And I thought about this today like I always do. I spend about an hour really going deep on how I'm going to teach you. What way can I deliver this in a way that sticks? So I want you to do something that you probably have done with me in the past, but I want to do it again. And that is looking backwards. So right now, I hope you have a pen or the ability to write down or at least think about. And this is kind of a positive focus on accomplishments. You see, we have this crazy brain that loves to remind us of the things we did wrong. It loves to remind us, even subconsciously, of our failures. Also loves to remind us of our missed opportunities. Did you ever wake up in the middle of the night or, you know, you're at a dentist and they're working on your teeth, you got nothing to do but think, and all of a sudden your brain starts. I mean, some. Listen, sometimes you're in a positive place. I get that. But when you're thinking about moving forward, or if you're in a place where you feel a little down or your confidence is a little low, do you ever notice that your brain has this great way of reminding you the things that went wrong? Or they're reminding you why you missed out on this opportunity? Or how you screwed up that relationship or screwed up that business? Or you should have got into real estate sooner. You should have done this, should have done that. Our brain has a way of doing that. And even if it's not all the time for you, when it does do it, it leaves a stamp. It leaves this memory of, maybe you shouldn't try that because you failed. Maybe it's not for you. Maybe the economy is not right. Maybe, maybe, maybe. And then your confidence is just hovering a little low. Like scared, money makes no money. Scared. And going into a new venture, if that confidence is a little low, you're going to stay exactly where you are. So what I'd love for you to think about is not the failures of the past, not the missed opportunities. What are the things that you accomplished? What are the things that you did that can show you how amazing you are when you put your mind to it, Whether that's being an amazing parent. I don't know about you, but I was scared to death when my daughter was born. Oh, my God. I remember taking her home after day two. I'm like, this is it. Nobody comes home with you. Like, you just take her home, scared to death. And then, you know, my parents were married and divorced a lot. I'm like, am I going to screw this kid? Do I really know how to be a good parent? But what I did is I interviewed 20 people that I thought were great parents. I read countless children's books, and I gained the confidence to be a badass dad. I didn't have that at first. I had zero confidence about being a father. I did. I was so I questioned everything. I still question. But I have confidence about being a dad because I gained the capabilities and I looked at other things. I've killed it in business. I've killed it in the real estate industry, wrote multiple New York Times best selling books. If I can do that, not focus on all the failures, I failed miserably in between all those. I had businesses that failed. I had partners where I trusted and I shouldn't and still my fault, all those things. So what I did was, is I gained the capabilities, which we're doing here right now about confidence. But I reflected on my other accomplishments to empower confidence in any area I wanted it. You are extremely confident in a couple areas of your life. There's a couple things you do and you just know you're good at it, right or wrong. Maybe it's your job, maybe it's your being a lover, maybe it's being a husband, being a wife, being a parent, There is something. So borrow that confidence for any new thing you're wanting to do. And how you do that, how you do that is by looking back on the accomplishments, the breakthroughs, the things that have made a positive impact on your life, not the things that went wrong. So jot them down if you have a pen. What things have you accomplished? Maybe if you're watching right now live, I'm looking at the notes. Send me some notes. Send me something right now. Somebody type in something that you accomplished or you're really good at. Good at saying. I love all the comments here, guys. I'm just reading them up. You can tell we're live here. So send me some comments. Send me something you accomplished, something you've done, something you're great at. Just start thinking about it. If you're not, you know, text it to me or write it down, but start thinking of that because you're going to borrow that confidence now as you think through that. This is an exercise. This is an exercise that I did. I wrote this in the book with Sean Stevenson. I don't know if you know who Shawn is. He three foot, giant, amazing dude, three foot tall. He's been in a wheelchair his whole life, broke hundreds of bones. This guy's just loaded with confidence. This guy can walk in a room, walk on stage and you can feel it. Like, think about that. Let's just really think about that. This is a guy who people, and this is just coming out of his words. People have looked at him, we go to restaurants and everybody just stare. They can't help it. They stare at. They don't know how to react. Right. This is a guy who busted through all that and has insane confidence. So I was going through something about eight years ago, something I wasn't used to handling, something in business. And it knocked me for a loop. It literally knocked me for a loop. Thank you, guys. I see some posts coming in here. It knocked me for. It had me off. It had my confidence off. And I was making bad decisions anyway. I was saying no. I was playing small. I knew my company and my life were going at the time we were on this. And I just got Off. And you realize, just like my daughter, pitching, right, head was off, and everything else was going wrong, Right? My daughter loses her confidence and her arm doesn't work anymore. She can't throw a strike. It had nothing to do with her arm. Well, my business wasn't good because I was off this. It was just a time. We all go through stuff. So I meet Sean through a mutual friend, and I end up going to Chicago, spend some time with him, and we start talking about confidence and this thing that's bugging me. And he could give two craps about the thing. So when I share with you right now, it's like you might be going through something. A worry, a fear shortage. Something is going on in your life. So I don't know what that thing is. And Sean didn't really want to care what my thing was. So I'm telling you about this thing that's bugging me in my business, that's knocking my confidence off. And this is what I do, and I don't know how to find it. And I'm trying to look backwards at my accomplishments. And Sean goes, grab a piece of paper, grab a pen. Tell me 10 things that are cool about you. And I'm like, all right, dude, you're not hearing me. I do all this stuff. This is what. I'm in this world. I have a New York Times bestseller called Totally Fulfilled. It's a personal growth book. I get this. No, I just want to. I want to talk through this situation and see how this could happen. He's like, okay, that's great. So could you grab that pen and write down 10 things that are cool about you? I'm like, I just didn't see it. I didn't. So I'm going to ask you right now, as odd as this feels, if you've done this with me before. This is awesome. Oh, thanks, Jill. Appreciate it. Some great stuff coming in. If you've done this before, if you've never done it, I want you to do this right now with me. And let's do five and do five when we're done today. But I want you to write down five things that are cool about you. You know, we have this brain. I said this before, not only forgetting what we accomplished, but we also like to remind ourselves what we're. It's not cool. I say cool. What have you. What's good about you? What have you done? When I say cool, what's cool about me, I want to share. Then I want to go back. What's cool about me? Is that I was. I love to work. I love what I do for a living. I love. I get to learn and teach for a living. If it's in my real estate space, I do more deals. I discover a new way to find deals. I get to create a course and share it. I discover a way to go faster, quicker success habits. I get to be friends with Tony Robbins and Richard Branson and all these great people. I rob their knowledge. I get to share it with you and my buddies, Joe Polish and just. I'm so blessed with the people that are around me every day. I truly am. And for a living, I get to learn and share and promote and motivate and inspire God. I used to fix cars like I'm the luckiest guy alive. So I love to work. I don't have a gazillion hobbies. I'll be honest with you. I don't golf, I don't fish anymore. I don't hunt, I don't ski, I don't ride dirt bikes. I don't have a lot of hobbies. So I have kids and all of a sudden I realize that I just love being a dad. And I'm sure if you're a parent, you love it just as much as me. You don't love your kids more. I don't love my kids more. We're all the same. But I just loved being a parent. I wanted to be good at it. So what I think is cool about me is about seven years ago I just decided I'm not working weekends anymore. I used to love. I'd work all weekend. I'd work till 10 o' clock at night because I loved it. I come home for dinner. I don't work weekends. That's cool. And I write that down. I love when some. I love to negotiate deals. Love to negotiate deals. Some people can't. That's just me. I love selling. If I know I can get somebody invested and engaged in a future that's better for them, I freaking love to sell. I don't get nervous about sales. Sells. Selling is what make the world go around. And if you love what you do, you're obligated to get people do it. If you find a cure for cancer, you better be damn good at selling. You find a cure to get your friends to stop smoking, you better sell it, eat better, better sell it. Find a new way to get smarter, quicker, faster. Sell it right. I love selling. I love crazy stuff. Like I love the fact that I used to be able to. I'm not a Good reader. I have dyslexia, but I can visually watch something and then go do it. I used to watch somebody run a bulldozer and then I'd buy one. And when I used to build houses and I'd jump on the bulldozer and run, I think that's cool. Well, I'm telling you this stuff not to brag about me, to think, spark some things in your head. What I want to tell you is that when Sean asked me this, I couldn't think of one. The only reason I rattled those off is because I did this exercise with him and I've been doing it ever since. But when he asked me to do it, I was like, shawn, I don't really know. He's like, are you kidding me? You wonder why your confidence is in the toilet. What's cool about you? He goes, dude, I know you. You had dyslexia. You have multiple New York Times bestseller sellers. That is freaking cool. I know what kind of dad you are. That is freaking cool. And he just started going on stuff that he saw in me, and I'm like, how could I not know this? It is the hardest thing in the room. I've done this live. And I appreciate the comments coming in, guys. And I'm still here. We're obligated to success more than most people. You're damn right, buddy. Thanks, guys. I appreciate all the comments coming in. When he asked me I couldn't do it, and so many times I said that so many times. I will be in a room of people live right now in the room. I do my high end masterminds right in this next studio here. And I'll say, guys, there's people in this room that are doing between 50 million and 400 million a year. And we'll do this. And at first, like, I don't want to. I want to do this, but I see some of them are off and we'll do it. And they all love it when they're done. But you'll ask a guy who's got a company doing 400 million a year, what's cool about you? And he's like, ah, you know, just right now we're stressed. We're in this hiring process. I'm like, but what's cool about you? Yeah, you know, I love. I'm so blessed to have a company like this. But we're thinking in the sales process and I'm not sure if things are going right. And you realize that we get stuck no matter if you're making $20 a year or 20 million or 200 million, we forget to look backwards on what's cool about us. So why am I talking about this so much? Because I want you to do this. I want you to think about it. I watch people that are massively successful get stumped when I ask, what's cool about you? And then when they start writing down, I watch the energy in the room change. I watch the way they react. I watch what they say. I watch the smiles on their face. And they start talking with each other. They're next to somebody else, go, yeah. Do you know that I almost climbed some mountain? I was three quarters of the way up. Oh, my God. Somebody says, yeah, I literally had the nerve. I got dropped out of a helicopter on skis and skied down a mountain. And all of a sudden, it brings up these emotions, you know, we are nothing more than what we believe, what we think. If we think we're not good enough, if we look at our past failures, we think about the stuff that's stressing us in our lives. We think about the economy could be off, our neighbors don't believe us, our family doesn't have faith in us. We start thinking that's just who we become. That's who we are. What this little trick is, guys, it's not so you can brag about yourself when you start thinking what's cool about you. I literally said that. I love music more than most people know. I remember writing down, I love. Sometimes when no one's home, I crank up the music and sing and dance around. That's cool. But when I started thinking about these emotions, thinking about spending time with my kids, thinking about driving a bulldozer, how good I felt when I did this, think about being on stage. Stage in front of 15,000 people. Know I was the kid that used to skip school. When I think about that, it's not about me bragging. I'm telling you. It feels like I'm bragging a little bit, but I'm not. What I want to tell you, it sparks a new emotion inside of me, and it overpowers the negativity. It gets stronger. It pushes that, that you can't do this. You're not good enough. You're not loved, you can fail. Kind of version of you pushes that crap down. And all of a sudden, the real you exposes. That's when you feel inflamed, flow. That's when you feel in state. So I'm still talking here, and I'm hoping that you are thinking about the stuff, the Things in your life that make you cool or what's cool about you, and you can use any word, accomplished, cool, but that, that list. As much as you're doing right now, as much as you've done right now, I would love for you to take the time to do this and do it once a month. Just remind yourself once a month what is cool, what you've accomplished, what you've done, and those failures. It's, you know, what have you learned from it? So the next thing I want to do, I want you to think about this. If you're going through something in your life, if you're facing something, a decision, a choice, something you need to happen, or something you're worried about. Here's a big one. This one's. I've done this a gazillion times, is there has been problems in your life, in your business, in your evolution, in your climb. You've accomplished so much, you wouldn't be here with me right now. You are paying for speed. You are doing this, not something else. For you to take the time here today, 45 minutes or an hour out of your day to be here. You are something that's growing. You are on the path to growth. It's impossible to stop you. You might not be going as fast as you want, but you are growing. But you know what you forgot about? You forgot about those things that you thought or just traumatic or devastating in your life or you couldn't get over, and you got over them and you went on and you learned and you're here today. There are things in your life. A breakup, an end of a bankruptcy, end of a job, didn't get the promotion, said yes, said no. There are things in your life that happened that were just like, oh, that oh feeling, and I can't do this, or those feelings came in and guess what? You did and you came out better on the other side, no matter how bad it was. And if you're still going through one of those painful things, look back as far as you can and look at all the things that were like that in your life, and you overcame them. You learn from. Even if you never took the time to see what you learned, you did. You learned what not to do or what not to feel, and you got better at that version. And if you're stuck there, find what you can, learn from it and realize you've been overcoming problems most of your life. Winston Churchill said, the definition of success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. You could change enthusiasm with confidence, right because that's what we do as humans. Things don't go right all the time. And when we fail, we recover and we get so smarter. That's where wisdom, I truly believe knowledge comes from learning and doing. Wisdom comes from trial and error, failing. And that's. You're building your wisdom bucket. You're building your subconscious, this strong self confidence or subconscious. So I want you to think about that, Spend the time to think about the things you thought were going to stop. You thought your evolution was over and you got over them. Because that means when you're going through it now or in the future someday, there's no reason that has to affect your confidence. Affecting your confidence is a choice, as hard as that sounds and as hard as I know it, because I live it and I work through it. You can decide if it's going to affect your confidence by using these tools and remembering this the next time you get in a place like that. So now I want you to think about this. Even if you didn't realize it was confidence, what has confidence, lack of confidence, or not peak confidence? I'm not talking about you're walking around mopey. I'm just talking about what has lack of confidence cost you to this point. So if you gained confidence right now, if you had the ability to look back at what's cool about me, what I've accomplished, I've had those failures in the past, I broke through those. I can do this. If you had the confidence to make the decision maybe that you're thinking of right now, about work, about income, about money, about wealth or about relationships, about a partner, about a spouse, about kids, about anything in your life. If you had more confidence, what's the best outcome that could happen for you? Would you quit the job and go full bore into your company? Would you fire an employer or start hiring somebody? Would you go after that promotion? No matter what anybody thought about, I don't know what it is, would you finally walk in and say this relationship's not working, time to fix it? Or would you end one that's bad? Or would you have the nerve to try to start one after a broken heart? I don't know. And this is about wealth building. But man, if you're off in your personal life, if you're off with your health, it's really tough to go to another level financially if that stuff's broken. So this is a blanket. I want to make you successful. This is success, right? So what is the best outcome in any of those areas and what would you do if your confidence was up, that gives you the move towards feelings. Like, I am going to move towards this, I am going to find this confidence. I'm going to look back on my past, I've already accomplished this. And then I want you to go the complete opposite side so you're looking towards this bigger future. If I had more confidence, I would do this, this, this and this. But then I want you to do is, what if your confidence stays low? What's the worst thing that can happen? I attach this to a lot. I attach this to goal setting. I attach it to my weekly 90 day jumps, my 90 day, you know, sprint. I attach it to a lot. Because what we all do is we usually do one or the other. When you attach both, like, what is the best outcome for more confidence for me? What does that look like? And that feels good. Live it, feel it. Pretend you're there and let yourself say, man, I'm doing what I was meant to do, what I was put on this earth to do, making the money I deserve. How does it feel when you look in the mirror? How does that confidence feel when you walk in a room or your husband looks at you, or your wife looks at you, or your kids or somebody in your life? How's that feel? But then the opposite needs to be in play. What's the worst case scenario? What's what happen if you don't raise your confidence? If you don't ask for the promotion, quit the job, start the business, put fuel behind the business, have the nerve to take action, have the courage, the confidence to go for it. What if you don't do that? What if you don't fix the relationship? What if you don't have the confidence to start a new one? Where will you be in a year from now? Let that pain sink in too. When you have motivators. Listen, let's just be honest. You can give somebody a business where you give them $20 bills that they can sell for $10. If your confidence is in the toilet and you're like, hey, I have a $20 bill and if you give me 10 bucks, I'll give you this 20, what do you think people wouldn't trust you? You couldn't make a business that you sell $20 bills for 10 bucks work if your confidence is low. So where will you be if you gain another level of confidence? Where will you be with your income, with your happiness, with your joy, with your relationships? Get the motivation. Like what I always say is what people want to know. Always ask me, how do you have so much going on. How do you keep the energy, the stamina, the enthusiasm? It's because I'll play any trick I possibly can on myself to continue to push forward. I do. And if I got to play the game of like in a year from now, if I don't take action with that new company, someone else is going to gobble up that space. I'm going to miss out. And I want that to be something part of my. I want to affect those people lives. I want to write that book. I will do anything in my power to ignite me being on fire, to sit up taller, to feel better, to not let me miss an opportunity again, to live into my full potential. I want my kids to see a confident dad. Like find ways that make you realize that you're affecting other people. Do you want to be the leader of your household? I don't mean like I'm the dominant leader, the one that gives the example. Do you want to be the example of low confidence? Not afraid to ask for what you want, afraid to go for what you want? Or do you want to be the one that shows the people around you that you can find you can muster up the confidence even when shit goes wrong, even when stuff goes sideways, you can gain the confidence you want even when the circumstances aren't perfect. Remember what I told my daughter? I said professionals do it with a headache. People who succeed learn how to find confidence. Even when all the things around them say they shouldn't be confident, we get to make that decision. Confidence. If your confidence is coming from the outside world, when things go right in the moment, then you're a roller coaster. Then you're going up and down with the tide, right? But if you can create it, you can find that way, you can find that happy face, that happy place. You know your why. I don't want to go into that today. But you know, if you read any of my books, go back and read Millionaire Success Habits, you know the why is important. When you know why you're doing it and you know where you're going and you can muster up the confidence, you have the decision to turn the confidence switch on just like, like that. And you're going to need it for the next levels of growth that you want to go through. You wouldn't be here watching if you didn't want next levels of growth. So Tony talks about physiology and he's what it really made me, really made me realize how important it is. You don't know what comes first, the horse or the car. I don't know. So I'm just going to give you all the things is I watched my daughter, her physiology, when she threw, walked two batters in a row last year. I'd watch her just like, literally, I could watch her shoulders go forward. I watch her face change, even the way she stands. She stands in this weird, like, instead of ready position, you know, when someone hits, she's kind of standing up straight and her shoulders are down. And she just like. And I watch everything change. So what triggers what, right? We know those studies. You can Google it. Go on, go online and Google the smile study simply by smiling. Literally, if you walk around with a smile, it's almost impossible to be depressed. Beat people on antidepressants, or just ask them to smile in the mirror for an hour a day. The smiling in the mirror was like head to head. I feel better, right? They did studies like this. They did studies with high school yearbook pictures where they just went and looked at the people who smiled in their pictures compared to the ones that didn't. And the ones that smiled had better marriages, made more money. Crazy, a smile, right? They did the same thing with baseball cards, right? Kids collect baseball cards. They went and saw all the rookies who were smiling big in the picture compared to the rookies that were like this. And the ones that smiled, happier, more successful, more money, better relationships. Wow. So what comes first? Were they smiling because they were happy on the inside, or did the smile help create the inside? I think it's both. So why mess with it? Why not just do it? Here's what I know. When your confidence is down, you're like my daughter, you know, kind of like, you know, if I was doing this video like this for you guys, I'm like, hey, guys, no, this is. Today's gonna be really good about confidence. You wouldn't want to listen to me. You don't feel the confidence of what I'm saying. This is what I'm sharing with you isn't beliefs I have. These are things that affected my life, affected the people I know and love and people that have done amazing. Without confidence, it just doesn't work. So I know this to be true. So I could say it with conviction. I could say it right to the kids camera. I'm just talking to a little black dot, right? But I know you're on the other side, and I know you need this. So let me ask you, when you're going through your day and it's a long day and you're kind of like, oh, look at that posture look at that. Compared to shoulders back smile like, I don't know which ones. I know smiling makes you feel happier, so why not find a way to get yourself in check with your physiology. How am I seeing standing? How am I holding myself? How am I presenting my facial appearance? Am I smiling? Am I kind of frowning? You know, people go, ah, how's your day? And they go, it's like that tells your subconscious shit's messed up, right? We're sad, we're depressed, we're not confident. No, I want to use every tool in my toolbox to protect this confidence. Like Dan Sullivan said, he gets paid 25 grand a year. He makes generates 50 million bucks a year, taught more entrepreneurs in the world. And what does he say? The number one thing I want to teach my entrepreneurs to make more money, to have a better life. Protect your confidence. Protect your confidence. So check your physiology. Look in the mirror. Check yourself going through the day, and you're like this. Say, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not getting in that space. No way. This is who I am. This is me, right? So check your physiology. Second, what about people in your life that when you're around them, they rob your confidence? Now, you know, I tell my kids, people, you can't let somebody rob your confidence or make you feel unhappy without your permission. That's. I've been telling my kids that since they were little. Easier said than freaking done. There are people in your life that make you feel like crap. There are people that tell you you're a dreamer. I can't believe you're even following that guy. You're paying him every month to learn from him. What are you doing? Just get a job. Get real. There's people in your life in a variety of ways. In your relationships, your income, your. Your desires and dreams. There's people that want. There's people that feel they're protecting you. And when they speak, it dings that confidence. I'm not talking 1 to 10. I'm talking going from 10 to 9. There are people that put you at a 9 when you're around them. And some of you, it's your husband. Some of you, it's your wife. Some of you, it's your parents, it's your sister, it's your best friend. Holy crap. The people closest to me are dinging my confidence. You got to do something about that. I'm not saying you got to throw them out of your life. I'm not saying go get a divorce. You have to find a way to be Teflon. You have to find a way to not let someone else's words affect you. You can't give them permission to rob your confidence. You know, I tell my daughter, if there's someone in stand, you throw bad pitches, come on, do a better pitch. You want to give, do they? You want to give them permission to rob your confidence for your future? How are you giving somebody that much value? Don't you dare. So I want you to start thinking about the people who rob your confidence. Spend less time with them and if you can't just love on them, try to listen more than you talk. But whatever they say, you have to find a way to be Teflon. Protect your confidence with everything that you have. This is another big Tony one that I think is really important is your words, the words that you say, right? So think about this like someone says to you, how's your day? Ah, stressed. Look at that. How many people you know say, ah, busy day, a little overwhelmed. Ah, you know, just not enough time in a day. And all of a sudden those words, that expression, the physiology tells your body, there's no confidence here today. Just pull the sign up like, no vacancy, no confidence. Right? So if your physiology can change, can words affect you? Is there a patterned word that you say? How's your relationship? It's okay. What does that make you feel like when you say it's okay? Right? So if physiology can change, words do the same thing. They're triggers. So start catching those words. When you find yourself say a word and your face crunches up or your shoulders go down and you're like, kill that word. No more using it. Flip it around, flip it. Find a new word that sparks more confidence. It sparks more joy to get you in a different state of confidence, level of confidence, right? So think about those words that do that also. Your energy, right? So I love to check my energy. Like, I will go through the day and I'll realize I'm in a meeting and my energy got down and everything's like, I'm not presenting myself, I'm not convincing my team to do the things we need to do or, or sharing the best. Me and I just do an energy check. Like, where's your energy right now? Energy doesn't come from a cup of coffee. Energy doesn't come from food. Energy comes within. How many times have you been doing something you didn't like? And then someone says, hey, do you want to go? Do I watch this with kids, right? My son can be like, ah, dad, I'm bored. I'm a Little tired. I'm like, you want to go outside and play basketball? Heck, yeah. Let's go do it. Let's play horse. I'm going to beat you. Immediately, his energy went through the roof. I didn't feed him anything. I didn't give him any call. I didn't give him a speed pill or a Red Bull. I just changed what was up. And his energy immediately changed. Guess what? That energy lives in us. It's always there. We just have to tap into it. And what I'd say, just start practicing tapping into that energy. Just like, be doing something in your house or at work and just say, right now, I'm going to crank up the energy. And you can think about what you're cool at. You can think about your state, change your physiology, change your words. Do what it takes to. To, like, snap into a different place and watch the confidence go up. Watch it go up immediately and watch your energy go up again. I do it as, like, little tricks to myself. I'll find myself low in energy. I'm like, create something right now. Just make it. And the more you do it, the more you train yourself. It's like going to a gym, right? You know, go to a gym once and work out and come out ripped. You got to go to the gym all the time. All right, guys, thank you so much for. For being here. And right now, let me go back. I'll ask some questions, but ask any questions. You got any questions on this or another topic. You got me here. I'm here, and I want to answer your questions. But I hope today. Today could have been what? Sometimes when I go to Dan Sullivan or I go to Genius Network that I pay 25 grand for, sometimes it's that reminder, where in your life can more confidence take you to another level? Where and more can more confidence give you a breakthrough? If that's the case, then you need to watch this again. And you need to go through these exercises, and you need to find that confidence to just go for it, to just do it. It is better to try and fail than to sit on the sidelines. Sitting on the sidelines. You know, when you talk to older people, you watch, you read all these articles and magazines. When you talk to somebody older in their life, they're always regretting the things they didn't take action on. Lack of confidence will keep you right where you are. And you're here because you want more. So again, go through this. I'm going to go back and let's see a lot of great posts here. Let's see. Okay. Hey, Tom Gilbert. Good to have you here. Oh, it doesn't go all the way back. So, Tom, confidence feels like believing in me. I build confidence by having the courage to take action on daily habits such as exercises, having a green drink. Absolutely. Tom. Routine. Tom. What's up, man? First of all, hope you're doing great. Routines help build confidence. Right. So there's a million things I could talk about when it comes to confidence. How you have to be courageous first. Right. Dan Sullivan's four C's. The confidence first is being courageous. That means taking action. Courageous is just doing it. Jumping out of the plane and hoping the shoot opens. Right. You need to be courageous, then you need to gain the capabilities. You need to learn from people playing at a higher level. You're here, you're learning the right stuff, then you got to be committed. Nothing works without commitment. I mean, diets don't work, relationships don't. You gotta commit, right? So when you have the courage, the capabilities and the commitment, that's when confidence ends up showing up the four Cs. I go deep on that in my book. But what also helps that is a little hack is routines. Right. So you want to know the best way for me to kill my confidence in a day is to wake up and roll over and check my email. Yes. I have so many businesses going on, one of those emails is not going to be great. So if I want to ruin my confidence for a day, I roll over and I'll check my email and I'll go, oh man, I got to deal with that today. Okay. I'll be alright. Like I talk myself out of it. You want to know how I can definitively know I'll have more confidence in a day is I put my phone on airplane mode and I don't touch it. I don't look at it until I go work out, until I think of some things I'm grateful for. Until I green drink my green drink with some oils in it. If I do those things and then I practice a little gratitude. I set my day up for just confidence. So sometimes routines can be your hack to be fine again. Use anything in your power to find a way to gain confidence. Hacks are fine. As long as you're doing it. I'll share my morning routine. Oh great, you guys are sharing. One time was so hard. Let's see. Okay, let's see. I'm gonna get some questions here, guys. Look at you guys rocking in here. Sharon, I love it. You guys are doing all this talking while I'm teaching. That's so rude. No, I'm kidding. This is awesome. That's why we do it to everyone. Sit down and write positive statements to tell yourself throughout the day. Jill, great, great post. Then put them somewhere and look at them. Great stuff. Let's see. Cool things. Your guys are cool at going to get to these questions. There's so many here. Oh, you know what? It doesn't go back all the way. So be thankful first thing in the morning. Yes, for sure. And rock your day Meditation this morning. Did you guys ever. I'm sure you know the app Headspace. You guys have Headspace? I used it this morning. Go grab the app Headspace. I'm not the best at meditating. There's a lot of different meditations. There's a good video. My buddy Brendan Burchard, if you go to YouTube and Google Brendon Burchard meditation, he's got a great video. The release technique. It's about just saying the word release over and over. And what I love about it is he kind of walks you through it and then plays this killer music. And I think he got that music from Jack Canfield somebody. It's great music. It's a perfect state. So you do that or try Headspace. It's just a 10 minute meditation each day kind of walks you through. And I think the apps free unless you want to upgrade. And it's like seven bucks a month so it's been really cool. Awesome comments and sharing. I added you to my notes with Dean. Great being thankful first thing I do before I go to sleep. Thank you, Robin. Okay guys, we're almost an hour in. We are an hour in. If you have any questions for me, pop them in really quick right now. If not, it's been an honor and a privilege to have you guys here today. So I'm going to talk for a minute in case you got any last questions coming in. Meditation. Meditation seems hard. I know it does because I've been. Meditation and yoga have been on my list of making it part of my life for like years and it's still not. I do yoga maybe once a month. I meditate probably once or twice a week. I'd love to be that person that meditates every day. But things like Headspace, things like Brendan's meditation that you could see on YouTube, those things if we slowly do it, you could see if you're not person that meditates. When you meditate, you get these glimpses like I'm too busy. My frontal lobe is just Burning up all these thoughts. And then all of a sudden, once in a while, a new one will come into place. And once in a while, you'll have this moment where there's nothing there. And it could be 30 seconds, it could be two minutes, could be five minutes, could be five seconds. And when you do, you see what meditation is all about. Your body goes into your subconscious. Your frontal lobe doesn't have all this crazy stuff going on. And there's just this peace. And if I meditate for 10, 15 minutes, and I have two minutes, three minutes that are like that, I'm rejuvenated. I feel like a completely different person. It's crazy. And same with yoga. Let's see, how could we stay confident if someone make you down? Okay, I'm putting notes in a place of confidence. So I guess Ghazi, I hope I said that right. You know, it's great to say, just don't let anybody take your confidence. But we kind of get programmed to let that happen. So I guess one of the things, a couple different things I think is great that has worked for me, I shouldn't say great, is when somebody makes you feel bad about yourself. The first thing to ask yourself, is it true? It's a really great defining question. You know, someone says you'll never do that. You're not good enough, you're not strong enough, you're not smart enough, or why did you mess this up Again, when you ask yourself, is that true, only two things can happen. One is, most of the time you'll realize it's not true. I'm not lazy, I'm not stupid or whatever. I'm overdramatizing it. But most of the time it's not true. But sometimes there's a hint of truth and it gives you the ability to take action to overcome those things. Like, I think there's good in everything. I think someone makes you feel lack of confidence. Just analyze it. Is it true? Then maybe there's some things you want to fix about you, but most likely it's not. And that's their problem, not yours. And when you can understand that, you can build your own confidence. You can create it. You can look back on your past, back on past accomplishments, things you've overcome, things that you're cool about. You can manufacture your confidence at will, and it can become bulletproof to those that try to take it from you. So especially one thing you're going to realize as your confidence grows, sometimes, sometimes there's people in your life that'll be threatened by that confidence, not by you being cocky, not by you being arrogant, by just simply your confidence rising. It'll make them feel uncomfortable because they don't have the power or the feeling they used to have around you. That's not your problem, unfortunately, it's theirs. How can we get to be more aware of the times when we are down so that we can trigger the change? Really great question. How can we get to be more aware of the times when we are down so that we can trigger a change? That's really easy when you're having thoughts of I can't or it won't, or you're stressed, or you're letting your thoughts control you. You know, so many times in life, that's one obsession that I work on, is how do I be. How do I be the observer of every thought. But when your thoughts start flooding in, of course you should stay where you are. Things are good enough or you can't or you shouldn't or what if this goes wrong? Usually it's when your confidence goes down and you don't feel like you're courageous enough. You're confident enough to overcome what's in front of you. So I would look for those emotions. Waking up in the middle of the night worrying about stuff or before you go to bed, or waking up in the morning or in the middle of a conversation, you're like, I should just give up on this or not try anymore. Or maybe life's good enough. That's all triggers for me. That stuff's down, your state is down, your confidence is down. Trigger it. Change your physiology. Do something. Stand up, go into another room, crank up music, do something. Listen again. Tony's great at this about changing your state. Like do something to make a move. You feel that? Change your body. Make a smile. Go online and find a joke, Find some comedian that you like. Do something. They just switch it and then go down. This process of finding the things that can build your confidence. But you know, when your confidence is down. I have a deal in escrow. I was second questioning myself, but you're right, I have to trust myself. So said I have a deal in escrow, real estate deal. And I'm second questioning myself and get uncomfortable. I did in the numbers know I will profit. But that voice in the back of my head likes to creep in. This training was great. Thank you. Exactly. Do you see what I mean when your confidence is down? What a great example. Thank you. That would be the last question I take, but thank you for sharing that because. Because what happens in Life without the confidence. Even if you think you knew everything I shared, we do know it. But we have to practice every day. We know how to go to the gym. We know how to. I think all of us know how to run on a treadmill. But are all of us doing it? You have to be reminded that you could live longer by being on that treadmill. And you will accomplish more things by having more confidence if that deal works. If you have. Okay, let's just share this. You ready? I don't know what your name is because it's. I think it's probably your first name. And El Fuentes. Don't know your first name is. But think about this. Four Cs. The confidence. I'm going to end here. You had the courage to get probably one of my courses and to jump into real estate when you probably never did it before in your life. That's scary. Guess what? You jumped out of the plane hoping the parachute open. You gain the capabilities by getting my course. This is what real estate is. One of the things I do really well. Been doing it for 30 years. You gained the capabilities from someone who's playing at a top level and you are committed to it. You wouldn't have a deal in escrow if you weren't committed to it. Now it's time to let the confidence make the decision. You know, if it's a good deal. You know the numbers. You went through the process, you have it locked up. If that's a good deal. Don't let that voice talk you out of it. Look back on other areas you're confident. Look back at what you're cool at. Look at other problems you've overcome. Start thinking about the lies. Is it a lie if the deal doesn't go good? Would you be broke? Lose everything in your life? No. So start telling the truth. Look back on past things and make a wise, logical decision to go confidently forward if it's a good deal. I hope you enjoyed seeing behind the curtain of one of our inner circle trainings where each month we teach next level mindset, marketing and momentum. The three M's that I believe are the difference between wanting more and actually achieving more. If you'd like to. To be a part of our inner circle, we created a really special opportunity in these unprecedented times. Well, they're unprecedented times. So we created an unprecedented opportunity. And right now you can go to deansnextlevel.com that's deansnextlevel.com watch a quick video and see how you could be part of the inner circle for less than about a movie and dinner a month and gain those next level capabilities to thrive in these uncertain times. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it and also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. Remember, all success starts here.