How to Create a Life You’re Obsessed With | Behind the Scenes of my interview with Marie Forleo

She went against the grain. She did something she had never done before. She was worried that people wouldn't love her, wouldn't respect her, wouldn't give her the credit. But look where she is today. New York Times best selling author, amazing company, worked with Oprah. We get the chance to work with her and she's impacting lives all over the world. So I guess the question is there, where do you need to start? Own your future. Because if you don't, someone else will. Welcome back to the Own youn Future podcast. Behind the scenes edition. You know, each week we go live, we had an amazing guest last week, Marie Forleo. If you haven't listened to it, go back and listen to it right now. In fact, go back and listen to the last three. Pure Fire. But what we decided to do on these behind the scenes is share the things you might not have seen, the things we learned before the camera goes on or after the camera goes on or if I happen to have a personal relationship with the person. And so far everybody's been loving these. So we're going to stick with it, you know. Marie Forleo shared her journey of bartender teaching hip hop dance to having a dream to share what she knows to be a coach, right? To coach other women to be stronger, faster, better. And sometimes in that transition, and this is what I wanted to share sometimes, or one of the things I want to share sometimes in that transition of how could I be a coach? I'm a bartender, I'm teaching courses or teaching classes, could I really help other people? And the fact of the matter is absolutely yes. If we do the work to know how to help guide others. Having a coach is the greatest gift anyone could ever have from you. And it doesn't mean that you're going to be a coach. Maybe you're listening. You never want to be a coach. But what if we all gain the capabilities to be a coach? A coach for those we love, a coach for our children, our spouse, our loved ones, our family, our friends. I think it's one of the greatest gifts we could ever give anyone. And I'm so glad Marie decided to go into that. And I have to tell you, I met her 20 years ago when she just got started in this business. And the one thing that I would say witnessing from the outside is watching her fall in love with her. And that's another thing I'd love for you to take away on this behind the scenes. Sometimes it takes a long time to feel comfortable in your own skin, to be okay with your own dreams to be okay with your own desires. And I want to say, don't let it take so long. Stop dimming your glow to match those around you. Stop silencing your dreams because maybe it makes other people feel uncomfortable. Stop worrying about being judged. Stop worrying about if it doesn't go right at first listen. At the end of our lives, I don't think we'll look back and say, I'm so glad I didn't go after it because I could have looked stupid. But I bet you we'll say, can I please go back and do this again because I regret not going all in. There could be nothing worse in life than getting to the end of your life and meeting the man or the woman you could have been. So if you take anything from that with Marie is a young girl with a dream and a desire who didn't want to be where her mom was. If you watched her parents were going through a divorce and her mother felt like she had nothing and said, marie, don't ever let this happen happened to you. She took that and decided to go all in. She took uncomfortable action. She went against the grain. She did something she had never done before. She was worried that people wouldn't love her, wouldn't respect her, wouldn't give her the credit. But look where she is today. New York Times best selling author, Amazing Company, worked with Oprah. We get the chance to work with her and she's impacting lives all over the world. So I guess the question is there. Where do you need to start? What do you need to do? What uncomfortable action should you take today? What voice should you not listen to and what voice should you listen to? Whose feelings do you need to stop worrying about if you'll hurt if you do your thing? Who do you dim your glow around that? You need to turn it up even brighter. Maybe that's what you got out of Marie's podcast. I don't know. But take whatever disturbs your inaction and utilize it and become uncomfortable with staying where you are. Because I promise it'll be way more uncomfortable at the end of your life if you realize you played small. Now, in this quick seven to 10 minutes, I want to flip over into another share about an amazing woman in my life that I think will help you. And for men as well. But women especially. I want to talk about my wife Lisa. I thought about her a lot during the Marie podcast, except I didn't want to go in a completely different direction. It was about Marie, not about my wife. But I kept thinking about her in the fact that when I met my wife, before we were married, when we just started dating, she had her own business. She still does, but she had her own business. She was voted the top hairstylist in Arizona. She was making incredible multi six figures in the hair industry. A complete badass, for lack of a better word. And then she meets me and we fall in love and we get married and we have two kids. And we have two children, both with allergies. Listen, people have worse things. Our boy Luca, who is now three years old, has a dairy. Dairy allergy. Peas, sesame, dairy, eggs, nuts. All life threatening. Not just a little rash, EpiPen, anaphylactic. So my wife cooks every single meal for him. And she loves being a mom. And now we have a three month or five month old Vita, our little daughter who has eczema. And we're thinking she's going down the same path as her brother. But you know, worse things can happen. So why am I sharing this? Because I get to witness firsthand what some of you moms and women in general, men, in your own way, please don't jump off because you might have someone in your life you could help. But I get to witness firsthand my wife who's torn completely. She has a business called Extension Bar, where, where she has eight, 10 employees and she has two children that she loves being a mom. She loves taking care of me. She loves cooking every single meal for her son, for my. For our son. And I'm watching the conflict in her every day. And she's married to me. This is what I get to do for a living. Every day she's torn between do I go all back in the business or do I go all in on being a mom that I love and a wife. And if I go all in and being a wife and a mom, does that disempower the strong woman I am? And no matter what I say, I watch her go in this loop a back and forth. And it's beautiful to watch because I'm watching her grow and evolve and I'm watching her figure out how to do both. Where she doesn't have to decide, where she doesn't have to worry with the outside world things. At first she thought, oh, people in business are going to think I gave up and people that are moms are going to think I gave up on my kids. And she's finding a way to balance both. And I'm watching my wife come alive again in a whole nother way. And the reason I say it's Beautiful. It wasn't beautiful the whole time. It was a journey. So what I want to share is, and this is a saying Tony Robbins says a lot, we all overestimate what we can do in a year, and we underestimate what we can do in five. If you're in the middle of one of these transformations, these reinventions, or you decide you need to transform or you want to reinvent, know that it doesn't happen overnight. It's a transition. But if we can enjoy the journey, even though it's tough, even though it could be a struggle, if we can enjoy it by knowing we're not leaving it the way it is, the reason we're uncomfortable is because we're not settling. My wife didn't settle for being just a businesswoman or just a mom. She's finding a way to be uncomfortable, to live with both. And in that uncomfortable journey, a year, in two years, in, she's finding a new balance, she's finding a new groove. She's finding another level of her. She's finding out how to balance, impact, influence, love, compassion, work ethic. She's finding a way to do all of it. And it's an imperfect journey, but I think at the end of our lives, like I said earlier, it's not going to be the perfect outcome that we're happy about. What we're going to be happy about is that we had the nerve, we had the desire to move forward boldly, even though. When we were scared, even though we were scared. So I know this message was all over the place because I wanted to talk about Marie and I wanted to talk about my wife. But at the end of the day, what I'll say is, if you're listening to this podcast, maybe today's the day you realize that what you're going through is just challenging you for the next level, the man or the woman you're supposed to be. And the only way you don't grow, you don't stretch, is if you go back, if you retreat, if you stare in the rear view mirror, watching my wife go through that hurt my soul. Because I didn't have all the answers. All I could be was a supportive husband. But watching her have the ability to start tying it all together and watching her grow, she's come out on another level. And she feels better about herself. She feels better about the business, she feels better about being a mom. And I couldn't. I already loved her as much as you could possibly love a human, but I respect her even more. I didn't know that was possible. So maybe today you can give yourself a little break. Maybe today you can realize you don't have to go all, you don't have to give up on one thing to do the other. But just time, presence, commitment, realizing that the only thing I believe at the end of our life we'll be happy for is knowing that we gave it our all. We didn't settle, we didn't dim our glow for anybody else and we became the person we were meant to be. Thanks for listening to the Own youn Future podcast behind the Scenes edition. If you love this podcast, remember we do this for you. We do it for free. Share it with three people right now. Go back and listen to the last three episodes. And if you want to be on our newsletter, go to deansnewsletter.com make sure you get updates on really cool stuff. See you next time.