How To Create More Confidence

What if we figured out the things that rob our confidence? You ready for my depth of wisdom here? And we did less of it. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here. We must protect our confidence because has any of you ever had an amazing day? Got the deal, got the girl, got the guy, got the partnership? Have you ever had a great day? Or when your confidence is down, has things gone your way? When your confidence is down, do you ask for the things you need to ask for? When your confidence is down, do you play full out? Do you get into flow state? Or when your confidence is down, can it be disguised as self doubt? Procrastination? Playing small imposter syndrome? Fear? Uncertainty? When you're confident about something, can anything stop you? You're like, I got this. No, I got this. Nothing can stop you. When you're like, I don't know if I should. Right? We procrastinate. We hold back. We feel like when our confidence is down, we start saying, well, I really wasn't good at school and I'm not good at public speaking and I'm kind of an introvert, right? Our brain starts finding all this. So how do we flip that? Because confidence isn't something we're born with. I don't know about you, but I was the shyest kid in school. I would definitely skip class if I had to speak in front of the group. How funny is that? I would do anything in my power. I'd play sick. No way was I getting up in front of the class. I had such little confidence. We're not born with confidence. Confidence is like a power plant doesn't have energy. A power plant does what? It creates energy. We don't have confidence. We do things that create confidence, right? How do we manufacture confidence? How do we protect our confidence? And how do we get more of it? Just like that. Now I know this is going to show you my depth of knowledge. But what? Or my depth of wisdom. But what if there were things that robbed your confidence and things that promoted your confidence? And then what about this? What if we figured out the things that rob our confidence? You ready for my depth of wisdom here? And we did less of it. And then we figure out the things that build our confidence and what do we do? We do more of that, right? I'm not trying to be silly, but that's how you fix your marketing. How does our marketing work? We analyze and measure and we find out what marketing is working and we do more of it and we find out what marketing isn't working and we do less of it. Confidence is like that. So focus is really important. If you focus on. I sent them two emails. This didn't work. And I'm not sure. Give yourself some grace. Schedule it. Like Tony says, where focus goes, energy flows. But here's the greatest thing. Here's the greatest thing. What's wrong is always available to be focused on. True. Can we always find something that's wrong? She let me down. He wasn't there for me. My kids didn't do this. I thought they'd do this. It's always available. It is plentiful. We could all focus on what we lost because of COVID what we lost because of our last partner, what we lost because of our old friend that let us down. It's always there. But here's the most brilliant thing. What's right. And what could go right is always there to focus on as well. If we just decide. I'm not trying to make it seem simple, but it really sometimes is. Should I focus on what I lost or what I could gain? And when we train ourselves to focus on what we do have, what gifts we have, what lessons we've learned by the tough time, what's ahead of us, we're still alive. 150,000 people die every day. Google it. We're still here. I know some of you are going through tough times. I am not in any way lightening that. But we're here to fight the fight for another day, right? We can focus on that. Because when you focus on what you lost, whose fault is it why it went wrong? It's really tough to have the confidence to keep pushing forward. And if you focus on what went wrong, you focus on what you lost. And then all of a sudden you get a little self doubt. That little self doubt turns into imposter syndrome. You have one foot out the door and the one module didn't resonate. The thought you want. I knew this wasn't for me. I'm out, right? You see, it's a snowball effect compared to saying, look where the world's going. I got two great teachers. I'm ready for this. The world needs me. I want to tap into my full potential. I have the immersion, the repetition, the implementation. And I'm going to do the mastery. I got what it takes. I am not letting myself down. I'm going to have a culture of progress. I'm going to take uncomfortable action. What feelings are completely different? One is, I don't know if I could do this. One's like, I Must and I will. Right. How do you think? Tony, myself, we've learned to create this. I wasn't born this guy. Tony wasn't born that guy. We've learned to cultivate it. So I'm not saying this happens overnight, but I want you to realize our focus is so important. So that's one. Number two, we have to watch. If we're going to protect our confidence, we must watch the outside influences that diminish our confidence. What is something in the outside world that lowers your confidence? The news. Criticism. Not running, seek approval. Negative people. Friends. Right. Perceived judgment. Criticism. Family. Comparing. Social media. Right. So if the news and social media and your one negative friend always make you feel like crap and doubt yourself, then why are you doing it? Who has felt great about watching the news in the last three to four weeks? Nobody. Not one person. So what the hell are you doing it for? Why would you watch the news? Seriously, why are you like, how do we serve this world? How do we fix the global economy? How do we change the global conversation? How do we fix this world? There's no one coming to save us. The news is absolutely. They are fear mongers, right? What does it say? If it bleeds, it leads. Right? I mean, they're making it worse at every level. How do we fix that? We shut that off, we gain our confidence and we fix the conversation in our home. We. We fix the economy in our home, we fix the economy in our community and help hire other people and grow. That's how we push it up and fix the world. If watching the news, if not one of you raised your hand, you felt better, then I'm not being a jerk. Why the hell are you doing it? I went on a news diet over a decade ago and people say to me, that's naive. Is it really? I don't get sucked into negativity. I empower myself and I get to do things that help shift the world. All of us have that power. I am no smarter than any of any of you. But if I do things that rob my confidence, I wouldn't have the nerve, Tony and I to sit down and say, screw it, let's try to help a million people. I could watch the news. I mean, think about it. Have you ever watched the news and got done and said, babe, I know you missed the five o' clock news. Try to catch it at seven. Oh man, will you feel good. Never in the ones in the history of your life have you ever said that to anybody you care about, ever. So if it robs your confidence why not go on a news diet? Just take the next, hey, we're going to be together for 12 weeks. If you got nerve, go 12 weeks. If not, go a week. Because when you shut that off, not only do you find more time, you find the confidence to work on you. People will say to me, but you don't know what's going on around the world. But I know I'm doing my part. I know that I focused on my business and impacting other people. And I got to donate $600,000 last year to Operation Underground Railroad to help slavery. I got to build a school in Africa last year. I got to provide 7 million meals through Feeding America on our way to 10 million right now. I've done that. I've been able to change my family's perspective on race, on economy, and I'm doing my part on all of those and funding and doing things behind the scenes because I focus on me and I keep my confidence up. And I am doing my part to change the world because I'm focusing on the things that I can control. I can't control those things. And when you feel out of control, your confidence goes down. You feel like an imposter. You dabble. One foot out the door and you quit and you wait for something else, and something else isn't coming. If you follow that same pattern, what's another outside influence? Other people's opinions? Hmm? What is the most costly advice in the world? What's the most expensive advice? Bad advice. It's your broke friend telling you how to get rich. It's your single friend telling you, end your relationship. That is the worst advice in the history of the world. It's your mom telling you what you should be doing, even though you could love her to death if she hasn't run a business, been in the knowledge industry, done what you want to do. How can she give you advice, or your friend or your cousin or your girlfriend when you're having a cocktail at happy hour? Like, you're going to do what? You're going to build a course. Oh, that's kind of dumb. How is she qualified to share that with you? But what we do, and this is the part I want you to all hear, this is the part you don't see coming. These outside influences are cumulative. Does that make sense? You watch the news, you're like, I got that. I know the world, but I'm gonna do this. And then you go to happy hour with your friend and like, oh, come on, Laurie, you're really gonna do this? You Know your things so well. You should be lucky with the job you have. You should. You're blessed, Lori. Why would you do that? And you're like, I think I'm okay. And then. But the news stacked up a little, and then Lori's friends stacked up a little bit. And then something else happens. And then you get home and your kids and you're busy, and all of a sudden there's that one thing. You go to log on or something goes off. Like, I can't do this. Because you let all this stuff stack up. It slowly chipped away your confidence. And then one little thing makes you think you can't do it. You go back to the start, you quit, and in a year from now, you're searching again. Does that sound familiar to anyone? Thousand knife cuts. Exactly. So here's. I want to share with you. Stop taking advice from people that don't. Aren't living the life that you want. I don't know how else to say it. Like, can I tell you a little secret? I have this filter. When someone gives me advice. When someone gives me advice and I don't. I don't surround myself with a lot of people anymore. I love being with my kids and my wife and my team and my partner Tony, and two friends, and that's about it. So none of that comes at me the way it used to. I'm too busy. I just don't have time. And my kids aren't giving me bad advice, so I'm in a good place there. But I used to have this filter that if someone tried to tell me how I should be doing things, I would immediately, without them knowing, think in my head. If I woke up tomorrow morning and I was them, would I be happy? Try that one next time your broke friend tells you how to make money or your single friend tells you how to fix your relationship. I'm like. I sit and I'm like, yeah, yeah. And in my head I'm going, if I woke up and looked in the mirror and I was them tomorrow, would I be happy? And most. Would you be happy if you woke up and you were them? Hell, no, you would not. So learn from people who are doing the things that you want to do, except bigger than how you're doing them right. If not, you're getting the most costly advice in the world, crappy advice. Okay? So you got to watch those outside influences. What are the things in the outside world that are causing your confidence to go down and making you play small and do less of them? And if you Have a friend or maybe the husband that's questioning you, like, how do I stop it? He's right here. I sleep next to him. Or I sleep next to her. It's my sister. I see her all the time. What you got to do is figure out your way. You got to do the whole Trent Shelton thing. It's your vision, not theirs. Find something else to talk to him about. I have one friend from fifth grade, still a dear friend. I only talked to him on the phone. He lives in New York. I live here. I see him two times a year. And he was the one that always said, dean, stop being a dreamer. Stop being a dreamer. That kind of ran out after success happened, but always you're biting off more you can chew. Like right now, literally. I haven't talked to him about two months because I've been so damn busy. And his last message, like, dean wins. Enough. Enough. Like, literally, he can't get over it, right? But here's what I figured out with him. My brother, my friend, he loves talking about the good old days. I don't. My good old days, my best days are ahead of me. Whose best days are ahead of him? I don't want to talk about high school. I don't want to talk about the girl he dated when he was 19 or the touchdown that he scored. I just can't. That's just not who I am. I'm always looking forward. I'm not trying to say I'm better than him. He's sweetheart of a guy. He would die for me. I would do anything for him. But here's what I figured out. If I bring up to him, Tony and I are going to do a challenge. I'm probably not going to sleep for a month. You'll be like, when are you going to stop? I know the routine. I could see his face. But I don't prompt that anymore. I've learned how to deal with him. You know what I do when I see him? I'm like, dude, do you remember that summer we went up to Oneonta College and partied all weekend and barely slept? Oh, dude, that was. And he'll talk for an hour. He'll talk himself out, and I'm done. That's it. I know how to manage him. I don't want his advice on my next business. He has no clue. God gave me that vision, not him. So learn those that you need to put a wall up and then learn which ones you have to put. Teflon up the wall versus Teflon. If we protect our outside influences. We have the opportunity, we have the opportunity to protect our confidence. Now, I want to give you one more little piece. Here is we also have to look internally to internally for the things that'll diminish our confidence. Right? There's the outside things, but that's built up in here, right? So what things on the inside? What story have you been telling yourself too long? Like, I suck at this or I'm not so good at this, or I failed this before, or I'm a procrastinator or this. What story have you told yourself way too long. That's already cost you way too much. I'm going to tell you to obsess on finding that story. And when you hear it or you think it, you go, oh, my God, there it is again. Because I promise you, it's there. You've already given up on yourself before on things. And you got pissed when you did it. You got pissed when you did it. So we have to be the observers of the crap that goes on in here or you will be in a network marketing call in six months from now. And in nine months from now, you'll be on learning how to sell shit on Amazon. And in two, like, it'll just keep going until you fix that. And here's what I know. We're not selling widgets. We're not selling products. We're building bridges for the world. If you like today's podcast, then you're gonna love being a part of my texting community. What's that mean? You could text me right now at 480-400-9019 or it should be below right here. And it comes directly to my phone. Doesn't go to my team. It comes to me. I've been absolutely loving the interaction. I send out some cool things about once a week. I text nothing but things to get your week going, to get your mind thinking. And when we have new videos and things like that, I always text my community first. It has absolutely been a blast and I'd love for you to do it right now. Text me. 480-40090-19. Do it. Text me.