How To Design Your Day So You Can Design Your Life w/ Emily Ford

Are you going to spend your whole life avoiding bills? Are you going to spend your whole life having someone else tell you when you can pee or take your vacation? Are you going to spend your whole life living like, I can't do that because I don't have the money.

Own your future. Because if you don't, someone else will. Welcome back to the Own youn Future podcast. Today we have the It Girl for transformation. At least that's what everybody calls her. But I've known this girl for about a year and a half and watching her grow, watching the impact to go from sleeping on the floor on a mattress to nine figure sales organization over 13 years now with no business background, over 3 million downloads. On her podcast called it Factor. I have a list of all the accomplishments, but what I love is I love the entrepreneurial journey. I love the fear, I love the, the craziness in the silence, the invisible. When your thoughts are telling you you're an imposter, you're never going to make it. And you keep persevering until you succeed. You persist to succeed. I love this woman's story. I love what she's going to share. Today we got some exciting things to go through. Without further ado, can we give it up for Ms. Emily Ford. What's going on?

Hello. I'm so excited to be here.

Good to have you. Good to meet your fiance. You're getting married. Congratulations.

Thank you.

I got some fun stuff to ask you today. First for you at home, if you're watching or listening. Thank you for making this one of the top podcasts in the world. It's only, I've only been doing this for, I don't know, two and a half months now. And the feedback, the downloads. So if you like it, subscribe, share it with a friend. Let's keep this momentum going. The number one reason I do this in the busiest time of my life is to share with you incredible people that can hopefully give you those answers to live in to who you're meant to be and, and stop settling for who we currently are. Like, this is what the world wants. No, we got to follow our hearts and that's why I do it. So, Emily, so good to have you here.

Thank you.

So, you know, I, I call it the own your future podcast because we all want to own our future, right? I know you have your story, but before we get started, you just shared something before they hit play or record that there was a time where you are. It's easy go living on the floor to nine figures But. But when you really lean into it, like, what did it. Reminding yourself of how it felt. You said you were in an apartment with a friend and just hoping, take us back there for a minute.

Yeah, And I love going back there because people see social media, they see who I am today. And I always go back to August 26, 2010, and I remember the date vividly. Cause that was the date that I got introduced to becoming an entrepreneur. I was a nanny to four boys, a massage therapist. I worked multiple. Multiple different jobs. I even bought my first house when I was 21 and had three girls live with me to pay the mortgage. Like, I was crying.

Yeah, it was in there. You didn't even know it was coming out.

It was in there, you know? But it was truly when I found a vehicle and a business that I could sink my teeth into that everything changed for me. And at that time, though, like, you shared. I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor. I didn't even have money for a bed frame. I bought an old desk. It kind of move when I would write on it. It was that ghetto. I made myself my first vision board and got together with a friend who actually was also a mentor. And we unplugged the TV and said, let's go. Let's build something of our own. And in that year, it was so freaking difficult. It was every single day just changing my mindset and wondering, can I do this? And should I do this? And. But it was one of the best years of my whole life.

I want to stop you for a second, though. In hindsight, it's the best year of your life. But when you're in it, I think, listen, the Own Your Future podcast, the Own youn Future Challenge that Tony Robbins and I just did recently, it was 78%.

Women love that.

Between 35 and 55. Not that we don't share strategies for everybody.

Right.

But in that common thread, Emily, is what you experienced that year and what. What I'd love for you to share is when you're in the midst of it, there are so many people we meet and said, I was there twice already, but it got so scary. I just went back to the life I didn't like. But I can't stay there no more. Yeah, I just can't. It's like I'm dying on the inside. You know, people on the outside go, oh, Emily, you're. You're beautiful. You have a job. You got this, you got that. Don't try to do this entrepreneur thing. You should be happy with what you had.

Right.

So I'm sure you knew you were meant for more.

Yeah.

You wanted to own your future, own your decisions, own your calendar. And still it sucked for a year. I guess the question would be with anybody watching men and women, but especially somebody going through this right now that knows they must, they have to. They're halfway through and go, I don't think I could stay. What. What kept you persevering? What kept you going a year when you wanted to quit six months in?

It really was the idea of, if not this, then what? And so I would lean into that pain of going, are you gonna spend your whole life avoiding bills? Are you gonna spend your whole life having someone else tell you when you can pee or take your vacation? Are you gonna spend your whole life living like, I can't do that. Cause I don't have the money. If this. Then what? And so I lean into that fear every single day. And I believe the difference with me and the difference with people that succeed is like, I burned the freaking boats. I went all in. There's no plan B. I'm all in. I play to win the game. And I wrote myself a check for a million dollars, my hands shaking. And at this point, you got to remember, like, I was making probably 20k a year, 30k a year, right? Like, this was so massive for me. And I would look at that check every single day. And I. And I promised myself, I don't care if this takes me 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, I will do it. I will at least make this amount annually. And it's just that promise to myself that I'm all in. And what I realize and what I see with people that I coach is they're not all in. They're not all in.

They don't realize they got one foot in the. How many relationships have ever worked when you're dabbling, when you got one foot out the door?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or the. Or the getting in shape or any of it. But I asked that, and I love that story. Tom Bilyeu said something once. He's a dear friend of mine, and he said, sometimes you got to go to the dark side.

You do.

And I was like, oh, whoa. That we were unpackaging that. He's like, so many times people in a healthy way will say, focus on a bigger future. Focus on this abundant, the rose garden, the freedom, the joy. He's like, not me. I had to focus on, if I don't do this crap, I'm going to end up destitute. I'm going to end up working for someone else. I'm going to end up hating my life at 45 years old. So he was talking about I. I would lean into the dark side. Not always. And that's what. I love you. If I don't do this. What?

Yeah. And I still do that today. So do I. Yeah. As. As I'm evolving, changing, doing new things, starting new company. I still do that. I still, I think, like, I don't want to get to my deathbed and have God be like, dude, like you. I gave you all this potential. What did you do with it? And it's like, no. Like, every single day I will go to that dark side. Like, if you.

And saying that, like, it's so amazing. Even the. The year and a half ago I met you, I. You. I was on your podcast.

Yes.

Right. I've watched you grow since then. You're here doing a show, a shoot for a major. A major brand. Your podcast is exploding. Your coaching business is exploding. But when you were going through that, you couldn't see all of these things.

No.

You just knew you wanted to go away from where you are. So there are people watching right now and go, oh, well, look at Emily. She's beautiful. She's got this amazing fiance. She's doing incredible things. She's making money.

Yeah.

I'm far away from that. What Hope. I mean, of course you're going to say I would do it all over again.

Yeah.

But how do you. How do you. I know I asked you the same question, but how do. How do we wave a magic wand or give someone a gift today? If nothing else in this podcast, somebody goes enough. I must. Right. I mean, the freedom you have.

Yeah.

If it costs you. I guess the question would be. I'm sorry, I'm talking in circles here. Because I just want to deliver this last thing. The freedom you have today, the choices you have today. You still have stress. True.

Oh.

100 worry. True.

Oh, yeah.

True. You still feel like an imposter some days.

Yes, I do.

Do you still get nervous if you do a podcast?

100. I do. Backstage. I'm still need to go to the bathroom ten times.

Okay.

Yeah.

It's all still there. The scared Emily girl that lived on the floor hoping to cash a million dollar check. So he still lives there.

Yeah.

But I'll ask you this last question. Maybe this will frame it better. You went through a year of hell to get the ship off the rocket, off the grid.

Yeah. Power of the moat. Yeah.

If it took you three years, would you have still done it?

100%.

And that's the gift I want to hopefully give people today. Right? Because I believe, and I'm doing a lot of talking here because I want to talk through this. I believe people go, God, that seems like a lot of work, but isn't it a lot of work to stay in a life that doesn't satisfy your soul?

So much work. That's misery. That is literally misery. And what I understood is that, and I teach people this, that when I teach the it factor. There's two fundamental truth, okay? You're uniquely and wonderfully created no matter what. Okay? We're all unique and we're all to a cellular level. That's number one. Number two, the other fundamental truth is everything in your life has been designed for you. As God so perfectly designed it. And as our friend Tony Robbins says it, it happens for you, not to you. And so knowing these two things, I really leaned into these two fundamental truths and go, there's no other me. There's no other you, there's no other Dean. Let's lean into that. What are my strengths? For me, it's the gift of communication, the gift of influence, the gift of leadership, leaning into that. But I still had and still have many limiting beliefs. I still have challenges. And now today I can hire out for that. But in the beginning, not so much.

Gotta face em.

Yeah, but what I have done, and I know that we talk about this in personal development, but it's a whole nother thing to do it. It's to really discipline your. By bookending your day. So when I had nothing, sleeping on a mattress on the floor, I can tell you the freaking sheets on the bed. I could tell you so vividly. I would take my old notebook and I would write out what I was grateful for. This pillow, right? An opportunity to build my dreams. And what started to happen is because I reshifted my energy and my mindset, my frequency started to raise. So when I went out there to pitch the plan to get someone to do the business, to sign someone up.

You'Re coming from a different place, fricking.

Vibing at a different level. And one man that I signed up, he was a gym owner, one of my first gym clients, he said to me, he goes, emily, I had no idea you were making like $54 a week. I thought you were making like six figures. He's like, because of your posture, your energy and your certainty. And why I say bookend your days is because how you start your day matters. Because Most people just roll out of bed and go on social. They don't design their day, somebody else does. So that conditioning of your mindset is so major. I worked on myself more than I worked on my business, quite frankly.

Well, if you look at the most successful people on the planet, that's what they've done.

That's what they've done.

So let me ask you, if you don't mind, let's go a little deeper on that. How would you bookend your day if you were, if you were talking to the Emily who was three weeks in of sleeping on that mattress? You figured these things out along your journey. You figured them out when you were in a rough space and then things started getting better and you probably evolved and evolved and evolved. If you were back talking to Emily of 2000, did you say 2020-2010-2010-2010. That's what I meant. How would you share to bookend your day?

Yeah. So what I do in my morning routine, and this is something I actually do on Sundays and everyone should do this, but it's wild how many people don't. I study my calendar and I put in there money making activities. Normally that's what everybody avoids, right? It's like, it's. Those are the hard calls. That's what you really need to be doing. And so what I do in the morning is I study that calendar. And it doesn't mean I'm some workaholic hustle all day long because I believe so much in self care just as well. But what I do in the morning is the wpp. And the truth is we're constantly battling our mind. We're battling outside sources, we're battling. People can call it Satan, they can call it whatever they want. I call it strongholds. There are things in our mind that sometimes they've been there since you were young. Like I grew up in a very abusive home with a single mom, a man that lived with her. Like I was told so many things when I was little that stayed in my head. Right. And so the wpp, what I do in the morning is I read the living word. For me, that is the Bible. Just a little bit, not a lot, just a little message. You can even get a devotional read some something. Okay. And then I pray. So I ask, we forget that. We can ask for strength, we can ask for wisdom, we can ask for confidence, we can ask God to bring us a new business partner. I ask and then I praise. So I turn on some kind of good music and what I'm doing Is raising my frequency. You know, I'm going in that state and with the praise is kind of meditating as well. And so then what I'm doing with the wpp, once I go out there into the world, I got my arm.

You're already turned on.

I'm turned on. And it's like, come at me, bro. No, I'm just kidding. But, like, I can face things.

Well, you know, it's so funny. There's so many common threads. I mean, jump in. And I want you to continue how to bookend. Is it the same thing at the end of the day? But what I realized at a really early phase in my career is I can either approach a day in an offensive way or a defensive way.

Right on.

Right. So we have different terminology. But for me, if I wake up, roll over, look at my phone, check Instagram or social media. I check an email, one's not so good. You're like, oh, I gotta handle that thing today. Then everything from the rest of the day is defense. I'm putting out fires, and my brain is looking for what's wrong to solve it. Defense. What do we play in defense? We want to protect the goal. You can't be successful. You need to protect the goal, but you can't be. You don't score goals just protecting.

No, you don't.

We must play offense. And I know if I wake up and if I read a little or I practice, I call it low levels of gratitude. Like, did you ever gratitude journal?

Yes.

Okay. I've gratitude journal when I was first starting to do this, and then I ran out of stuff, and like, three weeks in, I'm like, I said, my family, I said. And then I realized no, because I'm putting gratitude way up here. My pillow was comfortable. The sheets felt good. It's raining outside. I woke up. 150,000 people a day pass away. That's. What if you Google it? I just woke up. You could lower the bar and go, I'm just here, thumbs up. I practice this quick little gratitude. I think of one win I had from the day before. I think of one win I want to do this day. And then I get myself out of bed quick. I drink a green juice because I feel like I fed my soul and I nourish now I nourish my body. And then I go move. Whether it's a walk, a run workout, and if I know if I do that in the morning, I play offense, I'll solve the problems. But it's like, where am I taking the company where am I taking my family? Where am I taking this relationship with my wife? Where am I, like, gimme it. But I know there's still times that I mess up. I'll be in the middle of a launch or middle of an acquisition of a new company or Tony Robbins, my partner and I are doing something big and I'll wake up and go, oh, my God, do I have all those done? And I'll roll over and I'll do my. And I'll find myself, like, guilty. Like, if I don't follow the practice, I fall into what probably a lot of people experience and they don't realize it. So I love hearing this for you. Like, maybe this is a wake up call today just to change your morning routine. If you do nothing else, how do you set your day up to win or play offense or be in a state of mind where you say, bring it.

Yeah. Yeah. And this is owning your future. Like this definition, because you're creating it. And you know, I always say creativity is a new commodity for sure. Like if people, you know, I teach a lot of branding, a lot of social content, and it's like you have a block because all you're doing is consuming and you're never creating. So this like a byproduct of this is fresh ideas come. You're like, where did that come from? Oh, my gosh. Like, what I do when I'm done with the WPP is I'll go move. And that's when again, more ideas flow. All that stuff before I get on Zoom, before I start, you know, checking Instagram and all these things. But even then, I'm still owning my future and knowing what's my schedule, what's going on, you know, it is, it's huge and then the back end of it. And I'm really keen on, you know, setting a standard of like 8pm, no phones in bedroom, or at least business in bedroom. And I mentor a lot of women that are like power chicks. And they're like, how do I be more in my feminine? I'm like, you gotta, you gotta, like, come back to your feminine nature. You know, we're always osculating between both.

Oh, I could see that.

Yeah, yeah. And it's a real thing for women and it really is. Especially power chicks. Right. And so I turn on my.

I love that term power chick. Because every woman's a power chick. You just gotta unleash it or unlock it.

Yes, right, Absolutely. So what I do in the evening is put on some good music, take a bath, do My whole nighttime routine. Do stretching. It's really big. Like, we have an outdoor patio where I'll do all my stretching. I unwind and read a little bit. I maybe study material for the next day. If I have a guest coming on or a speech I need to give or a program I need to write. And that's just really my, like, my time. And then I go to bed and get my eight hours, and I feel great. And I don't feel so, like, chaotic. I just don't do that.

Yeah. You know, and, you know, when you. When you're. I love that nighttime routine, by the way. Jerry noticed. When you're in the wrong state. Did you ever have things go sideways, Right. Someone in your office, you find out, oh, my God, something that works for me is actually doing their own thing on the side, stealing my customers. Or I had a partner. I thought we were on the same page.

Yes.

I realized they took money out of our account. We're just starting another business. Without me. Yeah, right. I fooled this person. Now they're starting another business. Or a million other things. I have a dear friend. It's been a friend forever. And behind my back they're saying, I'm a dreamer and I'm never going to make it. Whatever. The thing is, when you're in the wrong state, those things like, oh, my God, I can't believe this. Why would someone do this to me? Like, I just know, because I've been in both. I've been in where I don't want to call this person who let me down. It's too much work. And, God, I'm trying to get this. And you go into this. I know it's going to sound terrible, of a little bit of victimhood. Totally right. Like, I can't believe this happened to me. And you might even say, I can't believe this happened again. But when you're in the right state, you go, well, I don't know why that happened, but damn it, I got to get through that. And you go from that, like, oh, I'll answer that email later to give me this. And you call right away like, hey, hey, I saw that thing happen. Hey, how do we get through this? Because you obviously, maybe I'm looking at it from the wrong way, but I think you screwed me over. But, hey, let's get through this. And you solve it, and in eight minutes, it's done. Or I watch some people go, man, my partner screwed me over. And I'll say, and I know you know, people like this. I'll Say, oh, my God, I'm sorry, that just happened. Like, no, this happened two years ago. Yeah, it's like, what? Like you're still being screwed over in here.

100.

There's one thing that could have made you sharper. It could have made you realize, hey, I could fix that. Or you could look in the mirror and say, hey, how did I become the partner that allowed someone like, did I. Did I do something on purpose? Yeah, that actually. Or do something not on purpose, but do something that actually created it. And I just. I think it's so powerful what you're sharing about the morning, because one is defense, one's offense, one is strength, one is not.

And this turbulence that a lot of people live in. And when I get in there, I'm just a mess. Like, we were speaking in Poland, and then I did some consulting in London just a couple weeks ago, and I was all like. Like the time change, right? And I'm like, I gotta. I gotta slow down to speed up. Otherwise I'm going to. To not be great when I answer that this stuff back. And if you're in the right state, you can do a beautiful things. Otherwise, what I would do when I didn't have this practice is I would react in not a good way and everything. Like, my highs were so high and my lows were so low. And this is what happens as an entrepreneur. You're gonna have ups and downs. And when you're in that beautiful state, I feel like you just let it roll off your shoulder like water. You let the crap just. You're like, okay, let's deal, let's go, let's move on. And it's not that we don't have problems, it's just we can handle them better and we can flip them into opportunities.

And the fact of the matter is, both of those people live in all of us.

Yep, they do.

They live in.

You want.

So. So I guess the question is, what do we do to keep the right person making decisions, the right person in charge? How do we keep the confidence up? Because you're not courageous when you're lacking confidence. Right. When your confidence is down. You've never made a sale. You built a monster sale. Have you ever made a sale with a significant other, an employee or a sale to sell your product? It never happens when your confidence is down. You go into a boardroom with your confidence down. You know you're losing. You might as well just leave. Hey, everybody. Sorry, I'm not staying. My confidence is down. Right. So I'm always looking at ways to protect my confidence. So if I go, I love the theory of, like, upstream.

Like, yeah.

Like, we want to be in a right state. Well, how do we get there? Well, have a morning routine. Well, that helps with. How do I stay focused on my goal. I got to go. And then if I keep going up upstream, I have to find something so compelling to me.

Yeah.

That I can stay in that state of mind even when I'm uncomfortable. I don't like making uncomfortable calls. I don't like when things go wrong. I like to celebrate wins. No one. Somebody says, oh, I don't like that part. Well, neither do I. But I like the benefit of living the life I get to live. So if we go upstream one more time, what drives you to do a morning routine? What drives you to stay in that state? Because it's work. It's like going to the gym. You can't just work out for a weekend. You got to work on your mindset all the time. Because you know that imposter syndrome person still lives in there, right? She's still there. She's knocking on the door all the time. So is there something deeper in your life that drives you?

Yeah.

Wow.

That's good. You know, I. I am being obedient to the call that my creator has put on my life. And what I'm doing now, it's not for Emily. Like, in the beginning, it was, I'll be real. I just wanted to, like, live my dream life. But now what drives me, Dean, is all the people that are grateful for what I'm doing. It's the messages. It's the. You know, someone asked me the other day. They're like. I spoke, and they're like, you can, like, just come. Come back. Like, let's go. And I was like, no, no, no. I. I want to go hear what landed for those people. I spoke at an insurance event, and I was like, there's a lot of men. I don't always speak to men. I need to know what landed. And the reason is, is because they freaking drive me. And it's like, we got to get over ourselves. And I feel like it's so selfish to get up with all this potential and be like, oh, I'm just going to keep it to myself. It's so stingy. So what drives me is the people. Truly what drives me. And I keep putting the people in front of me. I was just at a women's expo where a woman was trafficked just 13 months ago in a coma, and we were able to pay her rent, get her some amazing education, and. And she stood there bawling her head off. She literally was in a coma for three weeks. And I'm like, I got in the car with my fiance Jake, and I said, that freaking drives me. Let's make more money so we can do more good. And so truly getting over myself and serving others and reconnecting back to them. Whether you're listening to this right now and you have one person that is watching you, you probably have more. They're just not commenting. Let them drive you. And so I wake up every day, and I've done this, and this is really how I started to change my millionaire mindset, I think, is I wake up every day and I say, what am I gonna do today? That scares the out of me. Like, literally, what am I gonna do today? That gives me a little bit of that, right? And who can I bless today? I ask myself these two things, and I'm like, let's go. And that's. That's how I stay, like, motivated and in, you know?

Wow.

You know?

Well, it's. It's funny. I've been doing this a long time, 27 years, this industry, and I have to tell you, and I'm predicting it right now when that crossover happens, you can't hold on on how fast your business is going to grow. And I get to interview a lot of people, and I'm friends with a lot of people in this industry because I've been in it for so long, and I get amazing respect from people in this industry, and I love watching people grow. And I also know when they get stuck, because they haven't, it's about sharpening their skills or how do I get the next sale? And I'm not. You have to worry about sales. And, in fact, I want to ask you some questions about sales today. If you don't sell, sales are the oxygen for every successful company in the world. If you want to impact lives, you got to get someone to cut a check so you can give them the skills, all those amazing things. I love what I do. I know Tony Robbins loves what he do. We get to do this every single day. I couldn't ask for anything. But when I know when it happened for me, I know the day that I worried so much about the business, and there was a day I remember that it wasn't about me anymore. It's like I had this speaker, this microphone that people were listening to, and it was my obligation to help them go to another level, to help see their blind spots. To not say, I'm not perfect, I've screwed up a lot. These are the things I discovered. This is how I got there faster. And when that takes over your why, your purpose, I can't wait to see where you're gonna go over the next decade. Because it's bigger than us. It's bigger. And I say us like I don't want you to think I'm like, I have this private group. It's bigger. It's for all of us. When I say us, I mean every single person watching or listening, that it's bigger than that. And I know when you're struggling, struggling economically, when you were on the floor and I said, if I met you then and said, emily, this is about something bigger than you. It's about changing lives. You'd be like, no, it's about me paying my rent. Right. And that's cool. That's what we all have to start. So don't feel guilty about it. But I promise you, when you. I, I love Ogman Dino's book, the world's greatest salesman. And one of the scrolls was, I will persist till I succeed.

Yes.

Right. That's the only word in the English language that guarantees your success.

Y.

So I promise you, if you persist till you succeed, you keep moving forward and you'll get success. Then you'll get next level success. There's this moment that you realize that it's nothing to do with us. Uhhuh. Right. We are just this moment, just this mouthpiece. We are just the speaker.

Yeah.

And we get to drive, we get to work hard. You got to have your why you gotta have your purpose. But when you find that bigger thing, I think it just sets the foundation for everything. When people go, oh, I procrastinate in my head. I go, you don't have a big enough purpose. I can't find the time. You don't have a big enough purpose. My three friends screwed me over. They talk crap out. You don't get a purpose. Like, yeah. You don't need a time management.

Right.

Exercise or time management course. You need to know how to live in team to you.

Yes.

And set a standard so high that you can't live without falling. Like just moving towards it. Does that make sense?

100 and get in a hurry. Like, I'm in. I'm in a hurry. Like we still in a hurry. Like people are acting like you have all this time and you don't. It's like people want to know, you know, I. I became a seven figure earner by the time I was 26 years old. And it's like, how did you do that? I just did more call calls. I condensed time frames, literally. I just put more hours in. I just did more of the main thing. You're acting like you have all this time.

Yeah, we don't.

You don't hurry up, you know, I love that.

Oh, I love that. Let me ask you. So we're talking about this, and I, I know you might have shared it, but someone sees you on the other side doing extremely well.

Yeah.

Traveling to London, doing these things here, doing a great shoot with an amazing company.

Yeah.

You would think that fear, that, that silent voice in the silence when no one's watching, that goes away. What's one thing that still scares you that no one else would know?

I honestly think it's, it's just not becoming who God created me to be.

Like, that's answer.

That's my fear. In the reason I know this. If you're listening right now, like, lean in. The reason I know this, this is because I spend time listening every single day. And if I'm not connected to the source, that's when I'll lose all that, you know? And it's, it's just like I, I, I lean in and I hear and I know I hear what I'm supposed to do. I really, I know. And, and, and I have been blessed enough to live through some really deep, dark stuff, heal from it, to do the work. I've done a lot of work on myself. And it's, it's up to me to tell another woman and to show her what she can do, how she can get out of that mess. And it's like, if I've got over the mountain and been healed, I want to help another person do the same. I'm not going to hold it all in. And that's like, I just don't want to get to the end or have, have a period go by and just be like, coulda, shoulda, woulda. I gave you all this. I literally gave this to you. You were diligent. And now what did you do with it? You kept it all to yourself.

Wow.

Like, what is that? Like, that's what, that's what scares the living daylights out of me. Like, I will not.

So if you look at this. So good. It's so good. If you look. We all need a compelling future. Right. We all need to our lighthouse of what we're striving for, that we know in a minute when things go sideways, when it's Wrong. You can lean into your heart and go, no, I must do this. But what you just shared is the opposite side of that, that you also need. When I've been writing my goals down for 30 years, I always write what will happen if I reach my goal. And I've always written what will happen if I don't. And I think someone. Sometimes we forget the opposite side, right?

Yeah.

What if you don't go after what. How horrible would it be for you, Emily? Because the way you look at your maker, you get to meet your maker someday. Could you imagine sitting down with your maker and seeing a video of the woman you could have been? Oh, is that the biggest fear in the history of the world?

Biggest fear.

I heard Ed Mylett say that once. Like, I always. Tony talks about the rocking chair test. I love it. Like, you're on your rocking chair, you're at the end of your life. Everybody's got their own version, and I've said it forever. Imagine meeting the man you I could. Could have been. But Ed Mylett, I think it was Ed, said, imagine seeing a video of the woman you could have been. You'd be like, please, please, can I go back? I'll do no more games, no more bs. I'm not going to worry about what my friends thought. Like, all the. The little petty things that hold us back would be nothing compared to that. So I love what you just shared without sharing it maybe is. You need a compelling future. You need your big why.

Yeah.

But I also think you got to look at, what if I don't? What if I don't?

What if I don't? What? What? What a misery. Like, what? Yeah, I. I love that so much. And I just feel like people think they have a lot of time. And what I mean by that, I love that it's just like, oh, you know, and I coach people and they're like, oh, we've got this coming up and that coming up. And I'm like, oh, you lost today. You lost a week. Pretty soon the week turns into a month.

Yeah, a month is a year.

I'm going to start that program in. In a year. Oh, oh, okay. Now a year now. And now it's like five years now. You lost a decade, and now it's like you lost a life. That's what happens. You lose days, then you lose weeks, then you lose months, then you lose years. And I.

That doesn't. If that doesn't just, like, punch you in the gut to take action today, nothing will.

Nothing will.

Let me ask you Something. But I've been thinking through this word, and. And I've never asked this to a guest on. On the Own, your future show before, but I've been thinking about this word that vulnerable. Being vulnerable. And I think we're brought up to feel that being vulnerable, especially as a woman. Yeah, right. Would you call the strong woman? You said power chick. Power chick. I love that. Right. If you're a power chick or on your way to being someone that's. It's living into your full potential, it would seem like being vulnerable would be a bad thing, but if I look back, at least in my own life, and I could be wrong, that's why I want to ask you. Every time I moved into something new, I felt vulnerable as hell. Oh, yeah, right. I mean, we decided to do this event with Matthew McConaughey, right. You know, I've been doing this 27 years, Tony, for 40 something years, but no one's ever taken a celebrity and said, hey, this guy's more than just a celebrity. I don't know if you read Green Lights, it's an amazing book, right?

Yeah.

And this guy's been journaling for 30 years, and he's identified patterns in his life. That's why I fell in love with the guy.

Right.

Of like, hey, if I do this, it works. I get to live in my. If I do this, doesn't work. So he wrote that book, not as a celebrity, just trying to write a personal development book. He took 30 years of journaling and said, hey, I found patterns. Right. And he wrote this book. And after I read the book, I remember I called Tony. I'm like, the world needs more of this McConaughey guy. He shares it in a different way. Similar foundation, but shares it way. It's fun and light. I remember how vulnerable I felt was like taking a celebrity. I'm like, what if this bombs? I let Matthew down. I'll make an A plus celebrity look bad. Like, I was scared to death. But I realized then I went back and I looked at every. When I partnered with Tony Rock. Everything I've ever done, every time it was something different. I felt this vulnerable feeling. You have dyslexia. You barely got out of high school. You didn't come from money, you don't have a business degree, all those things. And I realize, wow, putting yourself vulnerable is actually one of the ingredients of success. So when I say the word vulnerable, and if someone feels it's vulnerable for me to tell my significant other, I want this. It's vulnerable to put Myself out there on social media, it's vulnerable for me to try to charge for something I'm already, I'm just naturally good at. What does that mean to you?

I first of all love the word and I just truly believe it is strength. Vulnerability is your strength. And there's so many different ways that I could look at it. What I'm doing, having an event this weekend in Southern California, I've never done a type of event. I'm doing, it's vulnerable. There's money on the line, there's reputation. Yeah. But I know on the other end of it there's going to be strength from it. I'm going to learn from it. What's the worst that could happen? But I also look at it in terms of, even from a speaking perspective. Like, I will go there and I know you will as well. You're one of the best speakers out there and you drop in and you tell people your scars, you show people your stuff. That's what I do as well as a speaker is I open up and I let them in on some of my bad stuff, some of my things that have happened. Because I know on the other side of it, that's what's going to allow them to open up to me, to trust all of it is going to come in. I'm not going to go on stage and go, we're going to do this exercise right now. I want to know what happened to you before the age of 18. And I go through this whole test with people. When I speak, some guy isn't going to go, oh, yeah, I was raped when I was young, or my mom got beat up or I was abandoned. And if I just go out there asking, no, I have to let them in and let them know, first of all, here's what I've been through. Here's. Here's how I've transcended and changed. I drop into that vulnerability, whether it's in a one on one on a stage of 10,000 to get other people to open up. It is your true strength.

It is true.

It is your true. Yeah. And it's in, you know, again, back to the women that want to be more feminine. It's being vulnerable. And when I first, first met my beloved Jake, I, I was a hard ass because I had been let down by men. And he even tried to be vulnerable. He tried to hug me the first time and he was like, you wouldn't give a real hug. And he was like, you gave like a side hug. And I'm like, cuz. I'm used to being with men, and I'm like. I'm just, you know, he's like. He's like, no, you're buttoned up. Like, you have to trust me. You have to learn to be vulnerable. And it wasn't until I learned to be vulnerable and open up that we really connected. It's. It is absolutely your strength.

You're sharing that because it's so true. It's one of the things I respected about Matthew. I think that's why so many people connected with him, because a lot of times he'd be in the middle of training or the middle of the live, and he'd just stop. You'd see him pause and he'd look at the camera, and because I got to spend a lot of time with him, he meant everything. He'd go, yeah, me too. And it just the. He literally seen me too, and I. I could feel it. And then later, he's like, yeah, I just was in the middle of that before I explained anymore. I didn't want them to think I had this crap figured out, like, Right. I did make that mistake. I did fail at this thing. I was scared. I was shared open my heart, you know, and through all phases, even when he met his wife, Camilla. Right. He got to a point where he's like, hey, I don't like that Hollywood lifestyle anymore. If I'm really being vulnerable, that was really a showpiece.

Yeah.

Like what I really want as a wife and have killed kids and be an amazing husband. Amazing daddy. Bailed out of Hollywood, moved to Austin, like. But each of those were vulnerable points. But you see Matthew McConaughey, the ex star of all the, you know, the romance, the rom coms. Right?

Yeah.

But vulnerability is really the thing that got him to live a truly fulfilled life. Truly. And I just think maybe today's the day to embrace your vulnerability, to identify it and realize that leaning into it is. Might be the gateway to that next level.

100%. And when I teach sales and when people are in meetings and getting a new client, you know, I teach like, you know, grab your coffee mug. The first. The first five, ten minutes is building rapport. And, you know, start with why and tell them why you do it in this little condensed. Don't listen. We don't need a whole TED Talk on this. But just a little. And I'm like, when you drop into that, it's going to allow them to open up, you know, and it'll change the game in your meetings, your social media, your brand. My brand shows that vulnerability side, but it also shows I'm freaking expert in a few things.

Yeah. Right.

So let's go.

And I think that's, you know, that's such an important role is I. I'm going to frame this with really simple words. I suck at a lot of things, but I'm really, really good at, like, 2 or 3.

Yeah.

And I think that's the biggest thing. Like, yeah. People teach you to work on your weaknesses. The biggest lie in the history of the world.

I cannot. When I teach the hit factor, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. The Duck Dynasty guys, like, they. They. They built a huge brand off of their duck calls and. And building a family around their. Or their show around their family values. They didn't go change and become somebody else.

They just got really good at what they're already, you know, got great at what they're already really good at. So I want to ask you, while we're in this vein of conversation, is sales? You know, sales is one of those things that. Especially women. Only because I've been on stages with 10,000 women, and I say, raise your hand. Business women. Power chicks. Is that what you called it? Yeah, Power chicks. Right. Combo or women on their way or wanting to start a business. And I remember being at this one woman's event, and it was just amazing crowd, the energy was off the chart. I was having the time of my life speaking. They were. But then I got to sales, and I said, if you're really honest, who in here wants another level of their business? 100% hands raised? Of course, who in here knows you have to be better at selling? 100% of the hands raised up. But then I said, who in here, if you're honest, is a little apprehensive? Dislikes or outright hate sales? 80% of the women raise their hand. So they want more. They're empowered. They're at an event where they're gaining skills. They're either stuck starting or scaling highest energy, highest frequency. And 80% go, I either hate it or I'm a little apprehensive. How do you shift that?

Well, first of all, do you believe in what you're selling? Like, it comes down to that belief level. You got to be excited about it. There are certain things I get approached all the time, do this, do that, and if I'm not into it, I'm like, I'm gonna suck selling it.

Yeah.

You know, I was just in a meeting this morning before this meeting, and they were offering me a collaboration Collaboration. And I go, tell me the pod. And they're like, I'm like, the point of difference, tell me why this is so good. And they go, give it to me, let me use it for a little bit, and then we'll make our next step. The belief meter's got to be so high. So if you're selling a service, coaching, whatever, why you. And so you need to, you need to first convince yourself into what you're selling, is it a good thing? Is it going to change lives? Is it a. Whatever product, whatever? So the belief meter. So I check that out and then I look at, you know, I teach systems and duplication and I teach sales teams. So there's gotta be a way to pitch your plan. There's gotta be a flow to it. Whether we're at the coffee shop on Zoom, you know, whether we're standing in front of a room giving a PowerPoint presentation that will duplicate. And duplication gives you so much confidence. In my first business, the reason I crushed is because I had the same flow of the meeting. Right? It's a different human. There's different, you know, nuances.

Right.

Coming in. But I was so confident in my pitch, and I think that people are avoiding those first calls. So you never.

The repetition, they're missing repetition. Okay, so I want to ask you, with all you've learned with building a nine figure business and all the things you've done, and when it comes to sales, if the belief is there, let's just take the belief that what I do. One of the women I had stand up that day at one of these events, she was a coach. And she ran a pretty successful coaching company for women in trimester four. She called it after having a baby, when your hormones are all messed up. And she was like, your hormones are messed up. You don't think you're pretty. You still look pregnant. She was so cute and fun, right? She's like, you said, your brain is crazy. You think your husband or your significant other doesn't love you anymore. And you figured, this little baby, baby's gonna take up my whole life and you're going crazy. She's like, but I figured it out. And now I coach women. And she was so on fire. And you could tell she loved what she's done. Her belief was there.

Yes.

And arms back, shoulders back, smile. And I said, what about selling? And she, like, deflated. She's like, oh, I know, but I just don't. And I remember I said to her, I said, so why are you screwing women over? And she's like, what do you mean? I'm like, you're letting women suffer in silence because you're afraid to sell to them. They're either gonna buy from someone else who's a better pitch person that doesn't care as much as you, or they're gonna do nothing. And I just, I remember the look on her face. And I shifted the whole audience, they were cheering about sales at the end, but I didn't have time to actually teach tactics. That audience in that time, I just shifted their mindset.

Yeah.

So if the mindset is starting to be shifted, if they love what they do, like this woman, she has belief. What are some of the things a couple. I know, high level. What are some of the things you learned about selling that could help somebody find that flow?

Yeah, you got to bake in when you're going to do income producing activity into your calendar. So there's all these things that support our businesses. Like people are listening to this right now and they're like, I'm learning, I'm growing. Right. That's awesome. And there's things like putting together your product and shooting content. Support, support, support. But what grows is when you are talking to a human and you get a yes. That's what grows. And so again, we're avoiding the work. And I've coached people for over a decade and I'm like, how many days today has the story been told about your product by you or someone in.

Your organization listening to this?

Yeah.

Schedule it.

So you have, you must. And I always say, do the hard things first. Right. And so baking that.

Stop playing with your logo.

Yeah.

You love being creative.

Frick. I mean, I, I was crushing before any of that stuff. Right. And so. But it's because I kept the main thing. The main thing. And people are not numbers. But it is a numbers game. And you have to move product. And what happens is when you lean in and you start to. If you have in your calendar two hours today, I need to do social media outreach. I need to find new clients, I need to book appointments. And you do not let yourself leave your desk. There is nothing you can do. And you gotta set, you gotta like play this game because no one's coming to save you, by the way. So this is what I would do. I would play games with myself and still do. And I'll say, I cannot do this. I can't even go on a walk. I will not let myself leave until I do a hundred reach outs and you start exercising that muscle. And, and so this is what I did. And I tell people this. When I was on my way to building my first company, I'm. I mean I freaking drove a purple Saturn. Let's just be real. I would park that thing far away. It's anointed seat. Yeah. I went to the consignment shop, I got myself a blazer and a suit. I put myself together the best I could. I was 23 years old. I would walk into the coffee shop and I would sit there and be waiting for the appointment and I would visualize how it was going to go. Right? And you know what? I'll just be real with you guys. Like when I first got started, it sucked. I verbal vomited on people. I was umming and I remember profusely sweating, thinking, oh my God, it's coming up to the end, I'm going to have to ask for the sale. Am I going to low ball them on the small pack because that's my mindset or am I going to high and high ticket them out? What the frick am I going to do right now? And that's all this was going on in my head. And I would just go through it and through it and through it. And at the end of the meeting, okay, and this is what people don't do do. I would sit in my car and I would assess. I would go, what did I do good and what do I need improvement on? And I would record myself going through this so I could listen back and play back the tape. We don't play back the tape so good. And that's how I got good. That's how I got really good. Is assessing what happened. And, but, but you first got to fill in the numbers.

Like you, yeah, you first got to schedule it.

You got to schedule it.

You got to. But love what you do. Yeah, schedule it. Have a framework, repetition.

And the thing is if, if someone's listening and they're like, emily, I don't even have someone literally do this on your husband. Do this. You know, first, when I got started, I called my aunts and uncles, I called people from school and I was like, hey, can I just like have you. You know, I'm starting a new company and I need some practice. Like, how bad do you want it?

And let me ask you, as uncomfortable as that was, isn't it more uncomfortable just to have left your life the way it was?

Horrible. Yeah, yeah.

Like, and I know I keep, I've said it probably 10 times because as we mentioned something, certain phases, people are gonna go, oh yeah, See, that's me. I. I just can't do it. Yes, you can. Yeah, Anything in life. We're just not taught it. If we were taught sales in school by you, me, Tony Robbins. So, yeah, we were taught it would just be a part of our DNA.

It would be a part of our DNA.

And when my wife, when I first met her, I talk about this a lot, so I won't go deep on it, but she was the top hair stylist in Arizona. She was making multiple six figures. The average hair stylist makes $30,000 in America. She was making 2, 300 grand a year. And, like, how are you doing it? She's like, I just love women. I love making them look beautiful. She does hair extensions. I didn't even know what they were. Right. So it's like 1500, 2000.

Yeah.

That's not a 50 haircut.

Good one. Yeah.

So I remember her saying, I don't sell. I just love making women look beautiful and feel confident. I'm like, but the byproduct is you're selling like crazy. Right? It was a part of her. Her whole process. And when I identified it as sales, she's like, really? That's selling. She didn't realize that she. What she was doing.

Yeah.

So my whole point is, once you identify the belief and you fall in love with it, I. I love it. You got to schedule and have rep, repetition, and do it over and over again and realize that that is the gateway to not being stuck in a life that's not really yours.

Oh, my God. It's the gateway. And you will build skills that can take you any place. Like, if you can learn how to make friends with a stranger, literally bring them into your network, maybe even have them come into your company. Build that community, which I'm really big on. Building community. That's retention. If you can learn these skills, put me wherever.

Yeah. Like, literally drop me off anywhere. Take everything.

Drop me off.

You know, it's so funny. I was gonna. I was gonna. I. I lost my part there when I was talking about my wife. But what I was gonna say is when people say they don't sell is if you fall in love with a book, you sell your friends fall in love with a restaurant. Oh, my God, the pasta was so good. The wine, the atmosphere. You're selling all the time. When it's something that you want to impact others. Oh, that. That's. That's what I wanted to share is my wife. When it was time for her to sell the next hair or A different, you know, $2,000 hair extensions. She didn't feel like she was selling. She couldn't wait to share how they could. She could make them look even better. Yeah, right. So you said before, same with me. When I first started speaking on stage, I'd love to present. And then in my head, like, like, oh, you're two minutes away from the call to action. Oh, you got. Now I'm at a place where I fell in love with what I do. If I was sitting right here with McConaughey. We did the interview.

Yeah.

And I sold his product. I couldn't wait because I watched this man work for four months putting together his course. Like, he put. We sat in the other room that you were just in till midnight, six nights in a row before the event. Every like, is this the right word? Is this going to impact people? Like, I watched this guy not sleep for a week. So when it was time to sell, I wasn't like, like, oh, no, I gotta go sell. It was more like the way my wife feels.

Yeah, I want to make this woman look more beautiful.

Right. I was like, I. If people like this day, imagine if they got McConaughey's event. I couldn't wait to sell it. And. And you said that earlier. It's like. Because so many people go, okay, I just talked to this person for an hour. Now I gotta ask for the money. Rather you fall in love with it and you have a framework and you have repetition. Imagine how cool it would be if you're doing a webinar, a one on one sitting at a coffee table on a live event on stage, where you go, I can't wait to sell this. And that's the gift I hope people find in themselves.

And if you're not there, get there. Be resourceful AF and get there. Figure out, call people up that have used the product. Get, like, get the belief up. Do whatever it takes. And my fiance and I were. We're building something. And I told him, babe, I need conviction. I go, convict me. Literally. I was like. And he's like, like, okay. And I'm like, that's what is my superpower when I. When I believe. And I know that. I know that. I know I will rock this all day long, but you gotta go there with me, because right now, this is a bunch of mumbo, and I just. I gotta believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love it. Emily, how do people find you?

It's Emily on Instagram. Yeah, meemilyford.com.

Yeah, go follow her. She's doing Amazing things out there. And I appreciate. This has been a really fun interview. I've really enjoyed it. If. If you had. I've been asking this on. On a lot of my podcasts, not all because I forget, but I think it's important. If there was a person or a circumstance you wanted to give thanks to or credit, who would that be or what would that be?

You know, I. I just. I have to say, like my mother, because she. She raised me in a small town in Minnesota, and she. She did a lot for us kids. I'm the youngest of three, and yes, we had a man live with us for a decade that abused her on and off. But what I witnessed from her is breakthrough. She got him out, she got healthy. And. And so my work ethic and really my empathy and love and compassion for people came from everything I saw as a young child. And I. I am so grateful for her and I work hard for her and to make her proud and other women that I can help, you know, transform.

So, wow. That is the pure definition of life. Happens for me, not to me, because you could say, wow, my mom had this abusive person live with us. I can't believe it. But you found a way to use it as your strength. I see why you're so successful. This has been so much fun.

Thank you.

Thank you. And for those of you at home, you know you need to. There's somebody you know that needs this interview. You should send it to them today. Make sure you subscribe, share it, and we'll see you next time on the Own your future podcast.