How To Focus On Forward Motion

Most people. Most people. And you can take my word for it, or you can have an experiment over the next two weeks. Over the next two weeks, ask 10 people randomly, 10 people in your life, and say, where is it you want to go? What's your dreams in life? Where are you going? Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here. Ask 10 people what they don't want. Say, what's not working in your life. What do you not want out of life? Where do you not want to go? And watch people unload. Watch people. Oh, my God, my boss. Oh, my God, my career. Oh, my God, my time. Oh, my husband's just not on my team. Oh, oh, oh. And we'll just go 100 miles an hour and then stop them abruptly and say, okay, I see what you don't want out of life. What is it that you do want? Where do you want to go? I will give you the prediction that eight or nine out of 10 will go, wow, good question. Or let me think about that. Or I don't know. So think about that. 8 out of 10. I've been doing this for decades. 8 out of 10 people will pause, hesitate, and not know where they want to go. That means most of the world is focusing on what they don't want. They're just driving down the road, avoiding potholes, but they have no destination. Right? And how do we get to where we want to go when we have no compelling future on where we're supposed to be going? Right? So I know this sounds simplistic, and I know maybe you've heard it before, but I want to go a little deeper on this because most of the world doesn't know this. And just by this exercise, you will be ahead of most people because we all need a compelling future because things are going to go sideways. People are going to doubt you. You're going to doubt yourself. You. You're going to have things go wrong. And this is the exercise that gets you back on track. So I want you think about this. Tony loves to say, what we can focus on is always available. We can focus on what we don't have. We can focus on what could go wrong at any moment, but we could also focus on what we do have, and we could focus on what could go right. Right? And I want to tell you this story of my partner and ex partner and dear friend. I love this guy. His name is Ethan, Ethan Willis. Great human. And Ethan is a church leader, a leader in his company. He's got eight children. I have no idea I have three. I don't know how he does eight, but he's amazing. And not only is he a father of eight, he with his church, he'll take kids and groups and go do these great activities. And he told me a story one time of how he took 15 to 17 year old boys, him and a bunch of dads, and they took them white water rafting. And in Colorado. Now, I don't know much about whitewater rafting, but I know they have a. Rapids are like a one to a five, right? One being obviously little rapids, five being crazy, right? So he's responsible for all these kids and a bunch of other dads and they get to whitewater rafting, they travel up to Colorado, they get there, it rains all night, they get out the next day. And he said the whitewater was like crazy. And they were like, oh no, this isn't going to work. And I guess they were a four out of five, some areas a five out of five. The rapids were crazy. So they're like, we can't do this. And all of a sudden the guide comes out and the guide comes out and says, dads, I see you're nervous. Don't worry, we got this, boys, get in the boat. I'll give you a little lesson as soon as we get on the river. So he said, they get in the boat, they're in nervous wreck and they're in kind of quiet, the quiet before the storm. And he said, this guy says, boys, I've been doing this for a long time and I have to tell you, I kind of screwed up in the beginning. Because in the beginning I would say, hey, look, there's a tree that's down. Everybody let's steer away from that tree. And he would point to the tree and he said the whole boat would look at the tree and they'd run right into it and flip over. Or he'd say, hey, look at that rapid. We got to stay away from that or that rock, let's avoid that rock. And he said the power of where I was pointing. Oh my God. Everybody would go there and we'd flip over. And he said, then I finally got a little smarter and I realized that this could be the positive point, the power of the positive point. He said, boys, I tell you how we're going to be fine when we go down the river. When I see it, when you see me point, I don't want you guys to look in any direction except where I'm pointing. And you paddle your guts out to get where I'm pointing. And I promise we'll never hit a rock. We'll never hit that rapid that flips us over. We'll never hit the downed tree. And he said that positive point. The boys just all got it. They'd go in that tree, and he'd say, guys, we're going there. And he said all of them would just look, and they'd just look and they'd get over there. He goes, you know, sometimes we were probably three inches away from hitting that rock or three inches away from hitting that tree. But they weren't focused on the tree. They were focused on where we were supposed to go. Now, I know that sounds so simplistic, but how many times in life are we focusing on where we don't want to go? And in fact, we run into it over and over. Do you ever see those stories where on this long stretch of road, there's, like, one tree, like, nothing on this whole road, and there's one tree, and the tree's got all kinds of scars on it from cars hitting that one tree. And I know there's. There's research behind it. Somebody's driving down, it's wintertime, and they start sliding. They go, oh, there's that one tree. Oh, my God, look at that one tree. I'm in it. Boom. They hit the one tree. How does that happen? They could have went in a whole bunch of spots is because they stared at that. So how do we fix that? We work on a compelling future. We work on staring where we want to go. I have a good friend that helps people lose weight, and he had this woman who was a busy executive, and she was just trying to get back to her ideal weight. And that's all of us. What we should wish for is our ideal weight, not what the world thinks ideal is what we think ideal is. Right? So he made her find a picture of her in her ideal weight because she just couldn't do it. She was busy. She couldn't take the time. But. And he blew it up to life size, and he put it in her kitchen. And every day she woke up and she went in the kitchen, and there she was at her ideal weight. It took her 30 to 45 days. She was back. Because why? She stared at it every day. She focused on where she wanted to go. She could not avoid it. She couldn't look away. Right. She didn't want to look in the mirror and go, oh, I don't want to be this person anymore. She looked at who she wanted to be and reminded her and got her back there, Right? Right. I could give a million analogies. I know. They teach race car drivers, NASCAR drivers, when they get in a spin, don't stare at the wall. You'll run into it. Stare at the clearing. Right? Over and over again. This is the way to your next level. You could focus on the best version of you or the person who messed up in the past. You could focus on the warrior that lives in you, or you can focus on the procrastinator that lives in you. Right. I'm going to give you one last thing. My son is really good at baseball, and he's been good for a long time. And my son plays second base, and he's like, dad, it's getting faster and faster. He's like, what if I miss it? What if I get up and the kid throws so fast that he strikes me out? I'm like, man, that would suck. I know. And if you focus on that bud, this is how I talk to him. I said, if you focus on that bud, that's probably what's going to happen. But what if you tricked your mind, and before you got up to bat, you go, what do you think? Throw me your fastest fastball. Is this all you got? Come on, please. I got this. And I hope he throws it faster. I said, when you get at second base, hope for a line drive. Hope for a one hopper, those really tough ones. I said, the more you hope for it, the more you get in that space. And literally, the last game he started, he was in the car, and he's like, I hope, I hope, I hope. And he got up, and he just had a different swag. He had a different way he got up. He got back in his old stance. He didn't back out when the ball came in at 65 miles an hour, he didn't step back. He was like, okay, I got this. I. When he got out in the field, he had a different stance. And I'm like, bud, I'm so proud of you. What's the difference? He's like, man, I wanted it. I didn't get enough balls hit to me. I'm like, thank God he got it right. What changed? Were the kids throwing slower? Did they get smaller? Did they change in age? Nothing. The only thing that changed was his focus and where his positive point was. Right, Okay. I went in that long enough. But now. Now that we got that dialed in or kind of anchored in, and I said it a lot, I want you to think about, how do we get that compelling future? How do we anchor in that place that we stare at, the thing that we sell ourselves on every single day. The biggest sales job we have to do in the world is on ourselves. But we got to sell ourselves on the compelling future. So when things go wrong. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to pretend it's a year from now. We're back here celebrating, and it was the best year of your life. I don't want you to think what you're going to accomplish. I want you to start writing down what the best year of your life looks like. If it was the best year of your life, what do you look like when you see yourself in the mirror? What's your relationship like? What's your income like? How many courses are you selling on a weekly basis? How many masterminds are you selling? How many people in your workshop? How many people in your community? What's it feel like? How much is the check that you're cashing on a weekly basis? How many people's lives are you impacting? When we look back from our future, it gives us a different framework. I'm just going to be honest with you. I have a really tough time setting goals. Looking forward. Think about it. Think about when this is driving us crazy. When our current jobs and our current family, while we're fitting something in new we are so this technology is amazing, but it's also created the busiest time of our lives. We've never gotten more done in a day than ever before in history than we do now. Think about how fast and rapid things are coming at us and we're supposed to set goals. Some days we're just happy to put our head on the pillow and go, oh, my God, I made it through today. I'm still alive. Thank you. Hallelujah. Like, you just want to go to sleep so you could start fresh again, right? So how do you fit in these goals? It's not always easy, but it's different. It's different when you pretend it's a year from now and you're looking back and you pretend in your mind that these things had already happened. Did you ever have those days where you're feeling like you're in flow state? You just feel amazing. And you walk in a room and people could just tell. Somebody comes up and they're just like. Or you see someone else come in a room and you're like, oh, my God, did she do her hair over? Did she go on vacation? She got a new relationship in her life. Like, what's going on with her? She's looking amazing. You know that feeling like you could put yourself in that zone right now where you could persuade anybody to do anything. You would ask for anything you wanted in life. You wouldn't be afraid to speak up. We can put ourselves in that state at any time we want. So what I'd encourage you to do, you can do it right now if you want. And I want you to pretend it's one year from today and just start thinking, this has been the best year of my life. What had to happen? What's going on? How much am I making? What am I looking like when I look in the mirror? What do I see? I know I share this, but I want you just to get in flow state. Just start writing down, how much money are you making? What kind of lives are you impacting? Are you sharing? You know, are you helping people sing better, get through a tough time, find love again? Are you teaching people to sell better at it, better at finding the woman they were supposed to be, or balancing being a mom, a wife, a leader, a parent or a husband, Right. Whatever it is, whatever, dot, whatever niche you're going to be sharing or you are sharing, what would be the best year of your life? And stop and just write down, don't think about. And you could do it in your relationships, in your finances, in your business, in your health, and anything you want. And then what I want you to do is just write without thinking. Put yourself in that state, find that little bit of flow state, write it down, and then go back and circle the top ones. If you like today's podcast, then you're gonna love being a part of my texting community. What's that mean? You could text me right now at 480-400-9019 or it should be below, right here. And it comes directly to my phone, doesn't go to my team. It comes to me. I've been absolutely loving the interaction. I send out some cool things about once a week. I text nothing but things to get your week going, to get your mind thinking. And when we have new videos and things like that, I always text my community first. It has absolutely been a blast and I'd love for you to do it right now. Text me. 480-40090-19. Do it. Text me.