How to Motivate Yourself to Do What’s Painful.

Where in your life are you focusing on the pain of starting the new company, the pain of scaling, the pain of letting go of a job that's killing you so you can go deep into your career. Welcome to the Dean Grazios Show. All success starts right here. I've worked out without a trainer for probably almost four years and I work out pretty consistently. I'm not in the best shape, but I'm in pretty darn good shape. But I've done it on my own. I noticed the last six months I truly have been slacking. I go to the gym six days a week, but am I killing it six days a week? Probably not. So I go and I get a trainer named Aaron and he is relentless. He's ruthless. He's just mean. Now, he's the nicest guy in the world, but he's tough. And Friday is leg day and I got skinny legs and they burn. And I got my alarm went off at 4:45 this morning to go get beat up by Aaron. And I'm telling you this for a reason, because when the alarm went off, I was thinking of all of these things, like, oh, you know, I've been killing it all week. I deserve to sleep. My body needs to rest. I should stay in. Oh, it's leg day. This sucks. I hate Aaron, don't really hate him. But I'm thinking of all these things for like three minutes and I didn't move from my bed then, like life, like the business you want to start, like the relationship you want to fix, find or end a really bad one. Like the business that you want to scale or start. Just like the gym today, if I kept focusing on how bad my legs will hurt, how bad I'm going to sweat, how tired I'm going to be, how fatigued I feel, I wouldn't have went. It's why people don't start businesses, don't fix their end a bad relationship, don't, you know, get the company scaling or hire the people you want. Because what happens is we focus on the pain. We focus on what could be wrong. But because this is what I do after two or three minutes of that, I got myself out of that and I started focusing on, wow, it isn't this. I'm going to be 50 in two months. When you're watching this, whether you're watching it live or the replay, November of 18, I'm going to be 50. I can't believe it. It seems insane. I don't know how it got here so quick. But when I started thinking, no no, no, that's right. I made it. I'm going to be in the best shape of my life in my 50s. I've already decided that I start thinking about, wow, my kids get to see their dad in great shape, that I can run fast, them, I can play with them and my kids all the time. Like, dad, you look better than my friends. Dads that are in their 30s or run faster, you don't have a gut. Like, I'm just being honest. And that makes me feel good. I also start thinking about, wow, I want my kids to exercise their whole life. If I don't exercise and I just tell them they should, they're going to do what I do, not what I say. So they know dad gets up at 4:45 and goes to the gym every day. When I make them breakfast, I'm sweating, my shirt is soaked. They know dad went to the gym. It's a part of their life. So I start thinking of after. How am I going to feel after I do legs? How am I going to feel when my legs start looking better? How am I going to feel when I'm in better shape and all of a sudden I went from to no, I'm going to do this because I can't wait for that buzz for when I'm done. So that's not the topic of today, but where in your life are you focusing on the pain of starting the new company, the pain of scaling, the pain of letting go of a job that's killing you so you can go deep into your career? Where are you ignoring and not putting the time, effort and energy in to fix those bad relationships, whether it's in business or in personal life. What about going to the gym? Don't. Don't focus on getting up and going to the gym. Focus on the feeling after. Do that in everything in your life and watch how things change. What do you guys think of that? I'm glad I shared that with you because that is a huge differentiator. Okay, you guys ready to play out? Play full out. I want you guys to be a little more interactive today. I'll try not to spend too much time here. But let's talk about selling. Let's talk about persuasion. Let's talk about influence. Who would be willing to say, who would tell me if you are scared or allergic or worried about making sales? So if you could just hit like a yes or a thumbs up right now, I'll keep talking. If you have a little bit of apprehension to sales and marketing, let me know. I want to See who says that? And simultaneously let me know if you have your own business, want to start your own business or you're in a company that you want to go rise up higher and make a bigger impact. So if you want to start a company, have a company or want to make an impact in the company you're in, give me a heck yes. So I want to see the heck yes. All the yeses are coming in on all the people that are a little scared to sell. So right now I want the heck yes. If you have a company, want to start a company or you're in a company that you want to grow in. So heck yes. So those two things I want you to think about. You want a company, which I'm guessing most everybody in here has one, wants to start one or wants to scale in the company they're in. Right. Look at all the heck yeses coming in. So thank you guys for playing full out and being a part of be a part of this family. So let me just share something. It is impossible. Is impossible to have both. So I'm going slow here for a reason because I just did this on stage a couple weeks ago at my buddy Brendon Burchard last weekend, my buddy Brendon Burchard's event, and the audience went nuts. I mean, people went crazy over what I'm going to share with you today. Thank you for all the heck yes. Now, one more thing I want you to ask me. One more thing I want to ask you. Give me some things that you guys do. If you're a fitness trainer, you're in real estate, whatever it is that you do. We got all these heck yeses. I want to know what it is you guys are doing. If you're a life coach, a health coach, like I said, you're in real estate. Give me some examples of what you do. I'm going to pick on somebody. Just so you know. Let me know. I'm going to. Yes. I'm going to. I'm going to call one of you guys out because this is going to make a better impact. So you really understand this. Let's see. Need to start my own thing. Going into real estate. Awesome. And I know the chat's a little delayed, so real estate. Fantastic. Musician, real estate and fashion boutique owner. Awesome investor. Publishing company, locksmith, it, Music chef, architectural design. Amazing. Former teacher, life coach. So, Mitch, you know, so many great people are coming. Thank you for all this. Caretaker, going to real estate. Love it. Mitch, I'm going to pick on you when I Looked down, I saw you. This could be real estate, could be anything you do, but I'm going to pick on you. So, Mitch, you're a life coach. Mitch, I think you said yes if you didn't play along with me. If you have any apprehension to selling, I want everybody to listen what I'm going to say. Mitch, do you suck at being a life coach? I guess that's the question. And I want everybody to think I'm talking to you right now about real estate, about whatever it is you do. If I doubt you suck or you wouldn't be here. But if you suck, I understand why you wouldn't want to sell. Let's take it one step further. Do you not change people's lives when you coach them? Do you not make a positive impact in your life simultaneously? The opposite side of that, Mitch, when you get someone on the phone and they're struggling and they're stuck and you get to help them through, how does that make you feel, man? Right. I get to do it. So I understand. It's the greatest feeling in the world. If you're in real estate and you get a house that someone wants to sell and they need to sell desperately and you get that house sold, how does that make you feel? How does it make you feel when a hungry investor says thank you for buying that house from you? How's that make you feel? That the opposite side of sucking is you're making an impact. I'm picking on you, Mitch, as a life coach. But you know the transformations you've had. You know that sometimes one thing you give to somebody can course correct their entire life. It is the greatest feeling in the world. So I get to do with you guys here right now, today. So if you don't suck, if you don't negatively impact people, in fact, the complete opposite, you help transform people's lives. Whether you're in architect, whether you're a dentist, whether you're a doctor, whether you're in real estate. I'm assuming that you guys don't suck. In fact, the complete opposite, you get to help people with your services, with your products, with what you do. So if you're. If what you do helps people, if you don't learn how to sell and market, you're actually doing people a disservice in their life. Because if they don't buy from you, two things happen. Mitch, I'm going to keep picking on you. Mitch is our life coach. If they don't get you as a life coach, what could happen? Somebody who's A better marketer with shitty life coaching is going to get their money and their attention and that person's not going to get the benefit of working with you, dude. Secondly, if you don't get their money, if you don't get them to take action, what if they do nothing? What if they stay depressed? What if they stay feeling like a loser? What if they continue to procrastinate? What if they keep putting off till tomorrow what they could do today? And 20 years go by? You're doing them a disservice again. You see, I want everybody to realize that the oxygen for every single company in the world is marketing and sales. Companies don't exist without marketing and sales. What happens is. Let's just go back to Kevin Costner's movie Field of Dreams. Maybe that's dating myself, but think about that. Kevin Costner's Field of dreams. Do you remember what they said through the entire movie? If you build it, they will come. That may have worked for a fantasy movie that was made in Hollywood. It will not work for your life coach business. It will not work for your real estate business. It will not work if you are an architect or if you are a dentist or if you are an expert in whatever it is you do or social media marketing, whatever it is you do. If you build it, even if it's the best in the world and rays of sun come out of your course, your real estate, your life coaching, it doesn't matter. They will not come without persuasion, without marketing, without sales, without getting them to take action and say yes. If you think you could just keep getting better at the craft and finally the world will recognize you, you're dreaming. And I hate to be that harsh, but I've seen it my whole life. I have dear friends and people I know that spent three years writing a book. They wrote the best book of their lives and they get done with the book and they say, the book's done, got the hard part done. Now I just got to sell it. Now I just have to sell it. That's everything. Did you know when you walk in barns and nobles, that over 90% of the books. 90%. You see how many books, two stories, escalator going up, books everywhere. 90% of those books have sold less than 500 copies. Yeah, imagine that. It's not because the books suck. There's so much wisdom in those pages, it's unbelievable. It's because people just thought if they wrote it, they will come. People think if you build it, they will come. If I'm a Good enough life coach. And if I'm a good enough real estate investor, if I build it, they will come. They won't come. And when they don't come, some people just work harder. They're on a treadmill. They go from number four to number seven. On the treadmill, you run faster and quicker, getting better at your craft, trying to adjust the colors of your logo and trying to get more likes on Instagram. Likes don't generate money unless you know how to turn that into direct response, unless you know how to market and persuade and get people to take action. So with that, I hope I have your attention today. You see, I sit here and chat with you guys today, my inner circle members. I love this family. I love you guys. You're amazing. But let me ask you a question and be honest with me. If you've been with me, I see so many of you, Scott, so many of the people on here, Becky, I see you guys month after month here. I love your comments and your feedback. Let me just ask you something. What if I didn't get you to join the inner circle and you missed out on this? The way I feel, the time I prep every single time I go live for you guys, I think all month, what's the best thing I could share with you guys? When I think about this, and I know what I can deliver to you, what I'm going to deliver you just today alone, and what's in your back office for what I ask monthly for this I know for an absolute fact I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't get you to say yes, to click to give me your credit card, to give me your money, because I know the value I'm giving. I ooze that I live it because I know it. So the first thing I'll tell you first off is right now, tell me if you're. Be honest with me, are you glad that I got you, I persuaded you to cut a check to be a part of Inner Circle. Say yes if it's true. If it's not, you could say you could, like, throw a virtual tomato at me if you want or something like that. But here's so you can answer that anytime you want. Because I want you to see that when you feel this way about something, it changes. You don't become a salesperson, you become the best version of you. If you're talking about a restaurant, if you're talking about a restaurant that you love to death, like you went and had the spaghetti. Thank you for all this. You went and had the spaghetti and meatballs, and they were amazing. And you just ate until your body was just, like, full. And you're like, oh, this is amazing. How do you act when you tell a friend who loves Italian food? Thank you, guys. I appreciate it. I see all the yeses coming through. How do you act? Right? Oh, my God, Tanner. Tanner loves chicken parmesan. If I went someplace and had the best chicken parm and I went to Tanner, I'm like, dude, you got to go to Marcelino's. Oh, my God, the chicken parm. The chicken was tender. It was juicy. The sauce was incredible. And the mozzarella melted over the top. And then they gave you al dente pasta. It was, like, firm with the best spaghetti sauce. Oh, my God, it was so good. I ate until I couldn't breathe. Now, when you tell somebody that, are you being manipulative? Are you being down? Are you being rude? No. When you sell something with enthusiasm, which we're going to get to, you're the best version of you. When you share something you love. A movie, a book, a food, your company that you love. Who. Who? Are you, like, slouched? Are you back and excited? You're excited. Are you boring or enthusiastic? And excited? You're enthusiastic. Are you alive or dead? You're alive. Are your eyes shut and beady or wide open? No, you're wide open. So wait a minute. When I'm selling, I'm the best version of me. Ding. Think about that. People tell me all the time, literally, I will do this. Do this for me. People say to me, I'll say, how are you selling? Oh, I don't like selling. I'm not a sales dean. You're a sale. I've seen you on. You're a salesperson. I'm not a salesperson. I'll just let them go. And I'm like, okay. I'm like, so what are you into lately? Like, somebody might be into books. I remember the person who told me to read the Untethered Soul. Great book. Really kind of mellow guy. And he's like, yeah, no, dude, that's your thing. I said, so. And I'm doing this on purpose. I'm like, so, hey, when I'm in your town, where should I eat? You should go to this. There was not a light. Then I say, what's your favorite book? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. My favorite book. This Michael Singer guy. I don't know where he came from. And this guy goes on and just pitches me on the untethered. Soul. I literally got the book while I was sitting there and was downloading it. So I let him get done. I'm like, so you don't know how to sell? He said, what? I don't. I'm like, dude, you just pitched me so hard that I got the Untethered Soul and I'm going to start reading. I'm going to put it in front of the book I was going to read, and all of a sudden people go, wow, wow. So let's back up. Let's go upstream. The first thing I want to share with you, whether you're in a company and want to grow, starting a business or scaling your business, if you don't believe what you do, positively impacting people's lives in a great way, then fix that. Because some of the stuff I'm going to share with you today is almost. It would be unethical to use if you were selling drugs or gambling or cigarettes or something that hurt people. Because I'm going to ask you, as part of the inner circle member, what I'm about to share with you is the secret to getting people to say yes. But I'm going to ask you to use it ethically. Make sure what you offer is so good and if it's not, improve it. It's so good that you can feel in your heart, wow. If I don't get someone to say yes, I'm doing them an official disservice. If they don't get my product, my service, my training, my real estate, I'm doing a disservice. Ramp that up. Okay? So when you start feeling, when people say, what's this biggest secret to being good at sales? You know what it is? Love what the hell you're selling. Love it so much that you feel bad that people don't get it. So that's the first thing is love it. Love it in a way that maybe you've never imagined. Now, I want you to think about something. I want you to think about the people that you feel connected to, people that sell to you, that you don't feel like you're a salesman. If you don't like sales, that means somebody, a cheesy salesperson, got you at some phase of your life. Or when you were a kid, you watched all the movies and every sales guy was bad. Or maybe your parents didn't like sales people. Right. Again, even though we're all getting sold every day. Right. But something made you feel bad about selling. But as we're shifting this disservice if we don't get to take action, it's the best version of me. Now I'm going to give you another huge secret. You ready? People overthink sales on a massive scale. They think that the sales pitch has to be perfect, the perfect tempo. If you're on stage, it's got to be the perfect slides. If you're doing something online, it's got to be the perfect page. If you do something in person, you have to wait and talk a certain way. Do you want to know one of the biggest secrets to sales in our world today? Right now, where I believe where we're at is authenticity. People just want to know what's real, what's raw, and they want it from your heart. If you think about the people that you've connected with in your life, remember this phrase, People will buy from you, say yes to you when they feel understood, not just when they understand you. Want you to listen to that again. People will buy from you, say yes to you when they feel understood, not just when they understand you. Let's take, let's take an example and then I'm going to circle back around with authenticity. So I'm going to park authenticity, put a pin in it and come back to it. But think about this, think about, let's just say the quintessential sales area is used cars or new cars. And I know that world is changing, but let's just talk about the way it was for the last hundred years, 50 years. Saturday afternoon, your car shopping. You pull into the dealership. There's 10 dealers waiting in the window waiting for you to come in. You pull up, one of them gets a high five. Your turn, Go chat with the guy in the Tesla or whatever. Right? Now think about this scenario. Same scenario, person comes up and says, hey, glad you're here today. Nice Saturday, right? Hey, listen, I just wanted to let you know I've been selling these cars for 27 years. I know them inside and out. I've been voted the top sales guy 14 months out of the last five years. And it's because I care about the client. This is what I do. And I can see you're here today and you'd love us a sporty car. But let me guess, you want something that's a little good on the gas, maybe eco friendly, so you can do your part. I got this amazing two seater. It's fast, it's eco friendly, it's this, it's that. Let's go take a look at it. Now that's a sales guy. That could make a job for 27 years. And he wants you to understand him. But what if you went there that day because you just had your third child and you want your wife to have something that's not a minivan, but the big SUVs are too clunky. You're just looking for something in the middle. Nothing even close. Now that same salesperson wants you to understand him. What if there's a salesperson that comes out and you see him walking over to you and you're like, oh, shit, here comes a sales guy. You roll down your window or you get out and he says, hey, listen, first off, I know it's a Saturday. We all work on commissions. Authenticity, transparency. We all work on commissions. It's my turn up. I gotta. I get you, but I just want to tell you. Let me just back up. I just want to ask, why are you here today? What's your family like? How can I serve you? Tell me a little bit about you. And all of a sudden the person says, wow, immediately. Who do you have rapport with? Immediately, Sales guy number two. Because he wants you to feel understood and probably not on purpose. That's just who he is. All of a sudden you go, well, we had our third kid. And you go, oh, my God, I'm on my fourth. I get it. My wife hated the minivan. When I thought about bringing it to her house, she was like, are you crazy? But then I looked at the monster Escalade and she's, that's a bus. But we figured out something in between. Would you be open to something kind of in the middle? It's kind of like the Spirit sporty, smaller suv. All of a sudden you're laughing, high fiving, talking about the names of your kids, what's going on in school, playing softball or baseball and what they do. And all of a sudden you're sitting in the car going, he's a good guy. And what did he do? Most of the time, he listened. He was authentic. He was transparent. So I want you to think about that. So let's get back to authenticity. Here's where I believe we are. I follow the market really strongly. I follow. I shouldn't say the market. That sounds like the stock market. I follow the heartbeat of America, the state of the union when it comes to marketing and sales. And what I believe is when the economy crashed in 070-607-0807, it started, you know, people were scared. People just wanted to protect. If you had some money, you wanted to hold onto it. If you wanted, you didn't really want to get the boat, you wanted to make sure your savings didn't go away, you didn't want to buy the second house, you wanted to make sure you didn't have a foreclosure on the house you were in. Right? So in that time frame, people are more conservative. So you want to let people understand that, you know that it's a time of being conservative. But why does your product, your service or what you offer, life coaching, It's a great time to be a conservative time. You just don't want to go, give me life coaching so you can be rich. It's like, give me life coaching so you can handle all the change that's going on in our country. Right. So you just change. It's more of a conservative field. Does that make sense to everybody? Let me know if you think it does. And then after six, four or five years after the market crashed, then everybody kind of gets complacent. I've heard people get too complacent. Right? And then it's a time to change your marketing again and change what you're saying. Because now you kind of want to get people to take action. They're getting used to the foreclosures, they're used to things going sideways, they're used to the negative. And we want to start them to see aspirational. And then you get to a place where we're at right now, and this is what I want to share with you guys, no matter what you're in, is we're in a place where the economy is booming, unemployment's the lowest it's been in a long time, interest rates are still low, Amazing time for real estate and all the other things. But do we all know that we've just had a 10 year run in real estate, Kind of like or the turn and then 10 years, kind of between the last 12 years since the last crash started, stock market, 10 year run, interest rates been low for way, way long time. So do we all know kind of in the back of our head that winter is coming? Call it what you want. A correction in the stock market, a change in interest rates, inflation change. Listen, I only can go by what's happened over the last hundred years. It's inevitable there's an adjustment. So I feel like we're in this place, I feel like we're in this place, that we're aspirational. You're here, you want the next level, you want more, you want abundance, and you should, you should go after the full version of you, your full potential, next level. But deep down, people are like, but what if things change? Now, I tell you that for a reason, because I think circling all the way back to authenticity, I want to encourage each and every one of you to do the video you've been thinking about doing, to do one for whether you're in real estate, you're a lawyer, you're in life coaching, do a video to help sell what you do. Write a letter, write a sales letter, Start your marketing, start your advertising, scale the company you have. Finally start the business and stop overthinking what your marketing and sales copy and training is going to be like and start living from your heart. People want real now more than ever before in history with the way our government is president is. People just want it like it is. I think we're done with the hype. The hype. We had hype in the 80s. We had hype, you know, 15 years ago, and we're having hype now. No one wants hype. They want what's real. So I want to tell you there couldn't be a better time to scale your business, start your business, or use these same strategies with the people you work with so you can grow within your company. This is a time to be the most authentic version of yourself and about your product and about your company and tell the truth. I'm going to take it one step further. I know this is going in the weeds here, and I know some of my. Some of this I've shared with you guys before. And I'm going to continue to share because it's like anything. How many times do you listen to a good song, song you like? Do you listen to it 500 times, 300 times? But you guys will hear one thing about marketing, go, oh, I heard that. But are you actually taking action? Let me ask you, have some of you heard me share how important marketing and sales are? Are you doing it? It's like I had somebody say something once I thought was amazing. Said it was a guy I gave. It was a guy I gave advice to. He didn't take it. He came back six months later, asked me for time and consulting again. I said, I'm not going to take your money in consulting. The guy said, why? He said, because you didn't do anything with the first good idea I gave you. Why would I give you enough? One, think about that. If you've heard any of my talk on marketing and sales and how important it is, what have you done with it? Where have you implemented It. Where have you found yourself getting more authentic? Practicing on video, Practicing writing. If you build it, they won't come. So, you know we have to do this. So then why aren't you already doing it? But think about this. Most people, many people, when it comes to selling, and I see this on stage, I want you to really think about how I get to visualize this because I get to speak on some. I'm speaking tonight at the Biltmore in Phoenix at my friend Shanda Stumpner's event. It's going to be amazing. I can't wait. I'm going to speak on this topic and here's what I know. I get to see all these speakers and I'll watch a speaker speaker go up and be so in love with what they do. And I want you to think about this in your area of your life. Think if right now, okay? There's hundreds of you guys on, right? Think of right now. You guys came to one of my live events. There's 5,000 people in the audience, and I say go out there and talk from the heart. Authentic, raw. Just go out there and impact those people's lives on whatever it is you do. Life coach, real estate, love, dentistry, doesn't matter what you do, go out there and impact them. And then when you're done, I want you to tell them to do something. A call to action. Buy your product, buy one of your houses, sell you one of their houses, become one of your life coaching clients. Have them do something. Here's what I watch, and I watch this with personality professionals. Guys, this is. I'm on stage with some of the best in the world and I'll watch somebody go out there and they're great at productivity and they'll be passionate. Like, listen, if you don't figure out exactly what it is that moves the needle, then you're just going to spin your wheels. And they'll spend an hour and give so much wisdom and information and enthusiasm and energy and transparency. And then all of a sudden when they get to the time to ask them to be a life coach, to sell your house, it's like, yes, yes. And all of a sudden they think and they go, oh, my God, I got to sell something to these people. Oh, my God. And then all of a sudden they're a different person. They straighten up, they step back. Literally, if they're in the front of the stage, passion, passion, passion, passion. Now they go to sell and they step back and almost apologetically offer, well, now I want to let you know about this Opportunity to have that you guys can get involved with today. Click, click a few slides. Thank you. And like rubbish off stage. And I'm like, oh, my God. When people do that, when you do that, you're doing everybody in the audience, in the world, in your space a disservice because they love what you have. And now you're apologizing to get them to take action. Remember, in most cases, if people don't pay, they don't pay attention, right? If this was free, I don't know if half of you would show up. You're cutting me a check every month you show up. Find a way to know that you're doing them a disservice and in all areas of your life. So I watch that. So an exercise I can't do with you here, but I do it live, is I'll get people in groups. Somebody's A, someone's B. And I said, think about the thing you're most excited about in your life. A book, your company, your love life, your health. Something you love to talk about. I want you guys to think about. What do you love? Love, love, love, love to talk about. Do you love about talking about eating vegan? Do you love about lean protein? Do you love talking about working out? Do you love to talk about personal development? Do you love to talk about real estate? What is it that you love? Your kids? What is it that you love to talk about? And I want you to think about what we do with selling. What if it was talking about your favorite movie in the world, right? I used to love Forever. I loved It's a Wonderful Life. I've been watching that since I was a little kid. But what if I told you to watch the It's a Wonderful Life, and I was a little. So let's just start with no enthusiasm, right? No enthusiasm, because we're talking about enthusiastic because you love what you do so much. I love It's a Wonderful Life. I've sold that to hundreds of people through the years. So think about this. But what if I said to wonderful life? I was like, hey, you guys should watch the Wonderful Life. It's a really good movie. The main character thinks money is everything and he can't provide a lot of money to his family. So when things really collapse, he runs off and he just wants to die. But then he doesn't really die. And then he sees the world without him and he realizes that friends are the most important thing and family and love is really important. Yeah, you should watch it. Would you go watch that Movie. Same movie, same example, except zero enthusiasm. You're telling people stuff. I. I watch everyone do this. You're telling people about something, and where's your energy? If you don't have the energy, why would I go see it? Our physiology speaks volumes. Did you ever go to a different country? They speak a language you don't know. You could tell the happy, excited, sad, depressed people. You don't know one word they're saying. Think about that. So I get people to do that. And then after they do that, then I say, okay, now I want you to try to sell that movie apologetically, or whatever it is, that thing you're passionate about. So then. So then it would be more like, I saw this movie, It's a Wonderful Life. Really empowering. I mean. I mean, you can go see it if you want. No obligation. I mean, I'm not. I don't want to push this movie on you. By all means. You know, you're busy and stuff, but it's a really good movie, and it really bonds with kids. You'll cry at the end, but again, again, I know how busy you are. And it's like five bucks on Netflix. Think about that. How many times do you apologize for the sale? You talk about, I'm going to do a. I literally had a pool guy at my house. I'm thinking of doing my whole pool over. The guy's going through, and he's, like, so excited. He goes, dean, we'll take this down. Your kids are an age down. They don't need a slide. They need this. And you can put the. And he's going, going, going, going, going, going. And he gets done. He goes, but, you know, I don't want you to think I'm trying to be pushy here. He had the sale, like, had it, and talked himself out. I don't want you to think I'm pushy. And just because, you know, I watch you on TV and stuff. I don't want you to think just because you got money that I'm going to charge a lot. I'm going to be really fair with you. But, hey, I just want to be one. And if you're getting other. The guy was literally, like, backpedaling and talking himself out of the sale. I wanted to shake him and go, dude, you had the. Yes, shut up and ask for my credit card. But he was excited until he asked for the money. So I get people to do that exercise. Then I say to them. Then I say to them, okay, now here's what I want you to Do I want you to do the same thing, talk about the same thing, But I want you to do it with enthusiasm and I want you to be more transparent. And this is the part that I wrote down that was really important. I wanted to share with you. When it comes to selling and persuasion and getting people to say yes, I want you to think about sharing some of the things you were once embarrassed to talk about. How about that? I want you to talk about and share the things that were the most painful. That's what makes you human. That's what makes you real. The most painful thing in my life, hands down, most painful thing I've ever experienced was going through a divorce and knowing I don't see my kids half the time. It hurt so bad. I never told anybody. I didn't tell you guys. I didn't tell my friends. I hid it because I. I'm like, I'm the success guy and I can't save my marriage like it felt. But besides that, when I took them, when I knew the marriage was over, now it's. Now I have to separate from my kids. They're my love life. I make them breakfast every day, family meetings, all that stuff. It was the worst thing in my life. I was so scared. But if you're on here, you guys were some of the first people I ever shared it with in my inner circle. It's about, I don't know, six months ago, I went deep and I shared it. When I shared it, the bond, the connection. If you were on, I don't know if you were on. And remember, I remember the connection and the bond that we had. I didn't just share it and say, I went through divorce. I taught a lesson through it. But that immediately builds rapport. Not because I'm trying to be sneaky, because I'm just being honest. I want you to think about, we're going to go back to the third way to share it with somebody. I want you to think about what could you share that shows how human you are, that relates to what it is that you're offering, whether it's life coaching or real estate or anything else. People want to know the deeper part, but they also want to know how it transcended. So you can't just be depressing, go, you know, I was abused or I had this rough life. Yeah, no, it's like, I had a rough life. I did this. But this is why I do real estate now. This is why I'm a life coach now. This is how come I got into dentistry. This is how I got into this. Think of the path of showing them that you dove down into the. Into things that were tough, but how you came out. So now let's talk about the Wonderful Life now. Authenticity, transparency. Real raw, okay? And do me a favor. If you got a question, hit a Q and type in your question. And, Tanner, I know you got a bunch there. Let's do some solid Q and A today. But now let's talk about the Wonderful Life. If I was like, oh, my God, the Wonderful Life. It's older, but it's timeless. Because here's the thing. When I was a kid, all I ever thought about was money, and I really didn't have family. And be honest, my parents were married nine times between the two of them, and I felt alone a lot that I thought money would save me. And, man, this movie just hits it because this guy thinks money is everything. He thinks he wants to give money to his family, and that's what they want. All they really wanted was him. So I want to tell you, from a personal standpoint, I don't know where you are, but a personal standpoint, it showed me the important things in life. Like, literally this movie, it's a wonderful, wonderful Life, made me realize, when I'm 90 years old, am I going to look back and look at all the money I made, or am I going to look about the love and the connections I had and this movie immediately got me, oh, my God. You should see the Wonderful Life. Literally, look it up. I don't care if it's $2,000, it's only two bucks. But if it was two grand, you should watch the Wonderful Life and then see where it applies in your life and see how you can take those emotions with you. I don't know about you, but when I'm done with the Wonderful Life, I am sobbing when he comes running in and he's hugging his daughter and he's squeezing her, if you ever saw the movie, tears coming down his eyes, and I'm literally sitting there, like, sobbing, now, do you want to go see that movie? You should. I said the same things three different times, but one, I had no authenticity. One, I had no enthusiasm. Number two, I was scared. Number three, I was authentic. I shared something that was personal, and then I showed the other side and I was enthusiastic. What are you doing? Sharing the things you want. I don't care if it's selling your kids on things you want them to do, selling a spouse on how you guys should work better together, selling your business partner to take Action. Selling someone to invest in you, having a house sold to you or someone buying a house from you, or getting a life coaching client or keeping your dentist practice going to another level. Sales, marketing, persuasion, influence is the oxygen for everything and everybody watching. I don't care if you're listening to me right now and go, no, it doesn't work. I'm in the. I get so many people that are in, like, if they're professional writers or they're therapists, they're like, no, that's. It's not about selling. Selling's bad. No. I just need to build my practice and they will come. Stop bullshitting yourself for lack of a better way. Word. If you want to make $42,000 a year, then just build your practice and let them come. You want to build that up and change what you do. You want to do one real estate deal a year, you want to do 20amonth. The difference is those that know how to market, persuade, attract and close the deal. And the ones that last are the ones that are doing it ethically with a great product, with a great service. I want to know what I shared just today. Does anybody feel that you overpay to be a part of my inner circle? That's why I can lean into it. That's why I love this so much. And I want you to feel that way about your product and services. I want you to stop. Listen, you may have. Like I said, I'm going to end before we get to Q and A. I want to talk about this again. You may have heard some of this, some of the stuff I never shared before. This is the first time I shared some of it. But you may have heard some of this in previous trainings. You may have heard it eight months ago. When I did Persuasion eight or nine months ago. You might have my set for life course where I talk about it. But are you doing it just like hearing a song? Listen to this over and over until it becomes part of your life? I want you here to be inspired. I want you here to be motivated. But I'm not just a motivator and an inspirational guy. I want to be the guy that gets you and kicks your ass to take action so you have results and you brag to your friends. And that's why my book continues to go viral and this inner circle continues to go viral. When I was 19 years old, I was partners with my dad in a used car dealership. And I don't know how. Only thing is, I didn't like salespeople at A young age. But I liked selling. Think about that, everyone. I didn't like salespeople. I liked selling. So we'd go down on a Saturday, my dad and I. That was our. Every Saturday, 9 o', clock, we'd open up. We had 20 used cars out front. And somebody would pull in. And at 19, Robert. I used to say to my dad, somebody pull in, and I'd say, hey, dad, someone's here looking at cars. I said, you want to go out and pitch that guy? You want to go out there and try to sell it? Or do you want me to go out and actually sell a car? And he's like, you little bastard. That's why my dad talks to me. He goes, you little bastard. I'm like, it's the truth, dad. I'm about four to one to you. Because my dad would go out and vomit up everything about the car and what it is and how long he's been in business. And then talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. He'd talk him into the sale and out of the sale. And I used to walk out, maybe because I was a little shy. And I realized it worked. I wasn't doing it as a game. It's who I was. I'd walk out. I'm like, hey, so glad you came. What's up today? Why'd you stop by? And they'd talk, and we'd talk and talk. And I'd say, I think this one's great. I'd give the price. I wouldn't say another word. And like, you know what? Let's do it. And I'm like, dad, about five to one. I'm kicking your butt, Robert. It doesn't matter what age you are. Be authentic. Be enthusiastic. Know what the hell you're selling? Love. What the hell you're selling. Don't ever take a job just for a sales commission. It will rob your soul. You will become empty and void. If any of you are watching, you're selling shit you don't like. You're just making a commission. Take those skills into someplace else where you can make an impact. Send your resume into our company so you can sell stuff like this, where you can make a great living feeling incredible. That's my answer. Robert. Joanne, what do I do when I hit my first point of resistance? Congratulate yourself. Jump up and down. Take yourself to a movie, go get a massage, go have dinner. Most of the world doesn't come up against resistance because they play small. They're like, they'd rather stay and not have Anything, Bug you remember what I said. You want more success in life, get bigger problems. Want more success in life, get bigger problems. If you're not getting resistance, it means you're playing it safe. The owner of Spanx. I read that article. Why am I brain dead right now? Do you know Sarah? Sarah Blakely? Sara Blakely wrote an article. I saw an article in a magazine. I was on a plane reading it, and she said that her dad used to ask her every day what she failed at. And I was like, wow. And then it went back and it said, this interviewer said to her, you were bankrupt twice. How did you get through that? And then build this, become one of the richest women in the world? Spanx. And she said, because failure wasn't something bad in my house. In fact, if I didn't fail, I would feel bad because if I didn't fail, my dad would. If he said, would you fail out today? I said, nothing. He's like, wow, you didn't push yourself today, Sarah. I. Oh, my God. So if you're hitting resistance, congratulations, you're moving. You don't get resistance if you don't. You only get resistance if you're moving. If you just stand here, how can you have resistance? If you're stagnant, there's no way. You start moving, you hit resistance. Find a way through it, over it, past it, around it. Your next level of life lives on the other side of resistance. Winston Churchill said, the definition of success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. Think about that one. All right, Stacy, how do we get better at sales and marketing? Well, I think I just answered that, so. Stacy, I'm not answering your question. No, I'm just kidding, Stacy. Just everything I said, and I would say most of you have a Facebook account. Go Facebook Live. Seriously, bite the bullet. If you're scared to death, doesn't matter if one person watches. Just talk about something you're passionate about and see if you can get people intrigued. See if they can leave a post, ask questions. You don't have to sell anything, but just sell it without asking for anything. And just practice. And remember, just get deeper. Get more authentic. Be enthusiastic about it. I hate to keep using those words, but, man, that's the magic. You don't have to be a master salesperson, and you have to be massively transparent, honest, open, and real. I hope you enjoyed seeing behind the curtain of one of our inner circle trainings, where each month we teach next level mindset, marketing and momentum. The three M's that I believe are the difference between wanting more and actually achieving more. If you'd like to be a part of our inner circle, we created a really special opportunity in these unprecedented. Well, they're unprecedented times, so we created an unprecedented opportunity. And right now you can go to deansnextlevel.com that's deansnextlevel.com watch a quick video and see how you could be part of the inner circle for less than about a movie and dinner a month and gain those next level capabilities to thrive in these uncertain times. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it and also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. Remember, all success starts here.