How To Win Even If The Cards Are Stacked Against You

But Tony said something a long time ago, and it changed everything. Is what if life happened for you, not to you? And I live by that because I realized each one of those circumstances was actually building the character so I could overcome obstacles. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here. I remember if. I think we all have that moment. If you're watching right now, that means you're someone who's either an entrepreneur or, you know, that's the path you should take or you want to do your own thing. I think I knew it at a really young age because I just didn't like being so out of control. Like, when your parents move a lot or you don't have money, and we got evicted from our trailer park and then had to move into grandma's house, and then there was a new stepmom or stepdad, and, like, it was always, like, I was never in control. My parents moved us so many times. New friends, old friends, new step parents like all this crazy stuff. So I think there was a moment for me, and I think everybody has that moment when they especially look back in retrospect, that I knew I wanted to take control of my life. I didn't want somebody to keep moving me. I didn't want to tell me, anybody tell me where to live and what to do. And I think that stuck with me at a young age. Like, I know at a young age, I want to take care of my mom, too. I watched her work really hard to make nothing, like three jobs to make 90 bucks a week, always struggling. So I think that compounded with not having a lot of money and that kind of stuff. And then I remember I wasn't that smart in school. Not that I remember. I mean, it's high school. Everybody remembers high school. But I wasn't that smart. I had dyslexia. I knew school wasn't my thing. And there was a certain moment that even I had a guidance counselor. Her name was Maureen Canossa. Mrs. Canossa. And since I didn't take my SATs, I didn't take my SATs. I knew I wasn't going to college. I didn't think I was smart enough, and I just wanted to get on with it. I didn't. I felt like that was like, I had so many people I knew that went to college. They didn't use their degree, and they had debt, and that didn't seem the path. But I remember her saying to me, well, if you're not going to college, you're not taking your SATs. Well, there was one factory in our entire town. She's like, maybe you can get a job at that factory or be a construction worker or work with your dad on cars. And I remember two emotions. One like, holy shit, I'm screwed. Like, I'm going to be working hard my whole life. And that. That feeling. And maybe you felt that that feeling gave me a lot of envy. Like, wow, that person's gonna make it. Or my other buddy's father, sending him to college. He's gonna be wealthy. My other friend's gonna be a lawyer, and I'm gonna be stuck working on cars or in a factory my whole life.

How old were you at this time?

Probably 16. But that was only a part of my feeling, and I'm so grateful. And the reason I love to make impact and I love to share and I write books and. And I'll scream from mountaintops is because I could have listened to that voice. And I know a lot of people have, but simultaneously I had this other voice that was like, screw that. Screw the. You know, she was a great lady, Maureen Canossa, but, like, she's wrong. Her opinion is wrong. My dad is wrong. The people think I can't make it wrong. And I think at that age, and if we can get back to that feeling, I was like, young and dumb, as they say. But I didn't get told no enough. And I was like, no, wait. Like, in my yearbook, I wrote, yeah, I'm not much now. I forget exactly what I said, but someday you'll hear me roar. Because it's like, I knew it was in me, and I want to give that fire to people and we'll talk more about it. But long story short, I just knew there was more and I wanted to fight for it.

So even at that age, you had a desire for more. I mean, at that age, you know, 16, 17, were you thinking about getting wealthy, becoming a multimillionaire? Or at that age, was it really just, what am I going to do with my life? You know, take me back to half of me.

No, it's really good. Half of me was like, what am I going to do in my life? Am I going to working on cars or. And the other half of me is like, I'm just going to get rich. Like, because what I thought about money, and it's still true to today, is money doesn't make you a happier person. Money doesn't. I shouldn't say make you. It doesn't change your personality. Like, if you're like I always say about money, and alcohol, if you're an ass and some guy's an ass or girl stupid or whatever, or mean and they drink, they get more mean or they get more annoying.

Magnifies you already are.

Magnifies here. And money magnifies who you already are. But I knew at a young age that I wanted to be wealthy. Because what I didn't. What I wanted to do is solve problems. Like I wanted to cut a check to solve problems. And one thing I do know that money can do is it does allow you to be a better version of you because you get those worries out of the way. My mom and dad weren't able to come to my games, and they didn't. All they did is worry about money.

So they're too busy trying to pay for money.

Yeah, they weren't bad people. They were amazing people. They didn't want to neglect me. But my. My dad had to work on cars. My mom had to clean houses. That's how they paid the rent. And I think I saw that at a young age, and I was like, hell, no, I'm not going there now.

Did you at that time have any siblings or anything?

I had an older sister.

Older sister. And is it true you used to live in a bathroom for almost a year? Talk to me about that.

Yeah. So I know that sounds like. It sounds like one of my ads. Right. But it's actually the truth. I moved in with my dad when I was about 12 years old. He was going through a really rough patch. He had a house that had no heat in it. He was trying to remodel. It ran out of money, so there was no heat. All the baseboard was pulled out. So when I moved in with him, the only way we could stay warm at night is we had a little electric heater. The house had electric. And we ran the cord through the doorknob and then plugged in an electric heater. We drag a mattress into the bathroom. At night, we'd sleep in there, like, literally freezing. And we slept there for, like, six months. Wow.

And at the time, you didn't know any better, right?

I did. I'd love to say. It was like, it sounds like, oh, poor me, this poor kid. I was like, ah, dad, we gotta live in the bathroom. Like, in the morning, I'd go out, so he'd use the bathroom. I'd be freezing, and then he'd be like, okay, I'm done. Then I'd go in. And we made it work, you know, So a couple of things is that story, no matter where you're starting from like, I did live in a bathroom for a while. I did go to school some days without lunch money. And I tell my friends I wasn't hungry. That was just my circumstances. And one of the things that I hope as I share this journey and I want to share my first business and how I overcame it and things like that, because I think it'll inspire people, is my dear friend Tony Robbins. And I know Tony had an impact on your life. Tony and I talk every single day. Actually, I just told him about your story two minutes ago. You'll probably have a voice memo from him in a few minutes.

Surreal. Surreal.

But Tony said something a long time ago, and it changed everything. Is what if life happened 4 you, not to you? Yes. And I live by that because I realized each one of those circumstances was actually building the character so I could overcome obstacles, so I could solve bigger problems. That when people told me I was crazy, I could overcome that. When failure happened, I overcame it. When I realized I was paying my success tax, it wasn't like the world was against me. I didn't say, oh, poor me. It was like, okay, bring this shit on. Bring it, and what's next? And I found that at a really young age. And so when I tell you these stories, I don't want everybody think I'm saying, poor me. I wouldn't change an ounce of it because I wouldn't be the man I am today, the father I am today. I have an amazing fiance. Like, I'm a better man because of all of that. So think about that as we go. So I moved in with my dad. We had that. I went to high school. I didn't go to college. I started working with my dad right out of high school fixing cars.

So you ended up going that route?

I did, yeah. Fixing cars. And then I started a firewood business while I was in high school.

And that was your first business?

Yeah, it was. My first business was cutting firewood. I'd cut it, split it, stack it, sell cords of wood.

What made you pick that business model when you were looking at the landscape.

Of what you can do? Because there was a guy that was willing to pay me. I had a chainsaw pay me to clear a lot. And as I'm clearing a lot, I'm like, I could double dip. He's paying me to clear the lot. Why don't I sell the wood? And then all of a sudden, I got wood clients, and I started finding more trees, finding more wood.

How old are you at this time?

16. And 17.

Oh, okay. So at that time, you started it. And then how did the wood business go?

The wood business was 16, 17 years old. And then I was working with my dad in cars. My dad and I had a falling out. He made me 25% partner. I think this is really important because as I'm sharing, I'm trying to bring people in, because no matter where you are, I promise you, I've been there. I've been broker than broken. I've made my first sale and said, holy crap, maybe I could do this. I got to 100 grand a year. I got to 100 grand a month. I got to 100 grand a week. I got to 100 grand a day. I got to 300 grand a day. And I failed miserably. Between them, I had super highs, super lows, up all night, worry, and all the mix. So it doesn't matter where you are when you're watching. I've been there. I felt those emotions. I felt like, should I give up? So I've been there, but I want to tell this story because I think it's really important. So I was in my early 20s. My dad said, be my partner in his collision shop. So didn't make much money. My dad made 30, 40 grand a year. Worked his ass off, but at least it was something, right? So he made me a 25% partner at a young age. 19 years old. Like, wow. So this is my future. I tell all my friends, I'm in the business. Part owner. Yeah, Part owner. He changed the collision shop to Paul and Dean Auto Body. Yeah. And I'm like, I got this. I'll take this business to the roof. Right. So a couple years in, my dad went through a second or third divorce. It was really tough for him, and he went in a really deep depression and he just gave up. He came to me one day and he said, dean, I'm not doing this. I'm letting the shop go. The collision shop. He called the shop. I'm letting the shop go. I'm letting my house go to the bank. I'm taking off. So he checked himself in to get straight. And then he was in there a lot longer. They didn't want to let him out. And all this crazy stuff happened. And during that time, right out of high school, it's like, I was really embarrassed because all my buddies going off to college and had something. I'm like, I got Paul and Dean Auto Body, and now all of a sudden, the building shut down. My dad's house is shut down. So I moved my dad out of his house, I moved his furniture out and I rented his house so he wouldn't lose it to the bank when he was gone. And then there was an old barn on the first piece of property I bought. I bought an old rundown apartment house. I lived in a little 300 square foot apartment. But I remodeled them. I had apartments going. There was this old barn, I put some insulation in it, I put a wood stove in it. I brought my tools and my compressor. And I went from having a collision shop to working out of this old beat up barn one car at a time. And that was those, that was that time. Like I reflect now, this is all in retrospect. When I was in, it was miserable, man. Like I had nothing. I was then I was living off credit cards. I was literally, everybody could ask, hey, can I fix your car? Can I tune it up? Can I paint it?

And you're in your mid-20s at this point, right?

Early 20s.

Early 20s, early 20s.

And I'm just hustling cars and I'm painting with no exhaust fan. So I'm like, I have headaches, breathing it in all day. Like paint rim around my nose, fingers dirty. I'm like. And there was a part of me and my dad was in a bad space. My dad's like, I'm sorry, you're screwed. Go get a job at that factory, do something. Because I'm never doing this again. I'm out. And there was a part of me then that revisited. And we all have this inner doubt, this inner villain. I call you, you read Millionaire Success Happens. Like it's this inner villain that says, you can't do this. It's the wrong economy. You don't have your parents to support you, you got no money, you live in the wrong area, you're not smart enough, you don't have the right pedigree. Like all this, like limiting beliefs, all these limiting beliefs just live in you. And the world has given them to you. The media has given them to you. Parents that want to protect you sometimes give it to you. So all this stuff is flooding out. And I just remember, I don't know if I mean it no more. I don't know if it was a week, a month, or six months of like almost self pitching pity and beating myself up. Like, who did you think you are? And maybe this is the best you can be. What am I doing myself? But then again, I got lucky and it snapped. And I'm like, no, screw this. That's not who I wanted to Be like, one of the strongest things I look at that has allowed me to push is like, I don't want to be a dreamer. I don't want to be somebody that envies somebody who drives by in a good car, envy somebody who's got a great relationship, or envy somebody who's a parent who could play Little League, you know, coach Little League coach. So I don't want envy. I want to just freaking do it. And I was hungry. Like, if you're watching this, you are. And I just kept working on cars. And then I said, there's got to be a bigger play. I went back to the Collision Shop. The owner of the Collision Shop, her name was Mary Lopresti, and I went and was completely transparent. That taught me about being authentic and transparent and truthful at a young age. I went back, I said, I don't have any money. My dad left here on a bad note. They fought. I said, I know they fought. I know you have ill blood with my dad. I. I love my dad, but I'm not my dad. My dad had a little bit of money. I have none. But I'm a worker. And if you gave me a chance. Long story short, I went to pasta dinner with an Italian lady. I went to pasta dinner three Sundays in a row at her house. The third Sunday, she goes, dean, I want to give you the building back. With no money down, she let me move in. And I still. I could pray to her, she's not with us anymore. But she let me move back in this collision shop. I named it Dean Collision Center. And I just hustled. And a lot of times, I know the word hustle is an overused word, but hustling in the wrong way, you know, you hustle digging a ditch, you just dig a deeper hole.

You were working harder, not smarter, right?

But I was working harder, trying to figure it out. And I was going after. I urge everybody, work 25% harder. Just make sure you're working in the right direction. So I got back in there, I named it Dean Collision center. And we started to thrive. And I went and I. I ended up getting Enterprise Rent a Car and Hertz Rent a Car accounts, which was huge. I bought two tow trucks, started buying, then I started buying more real estate. I started buying multi homes, then I multifamily homes. Then I started buying raw land, subdivide it. Started a housing company, started building housing. And while I was doing this, I bought Tony Robbins. Gain the edge or get the edge? Oh, yes. The whole personal power and all the Package. It was like the double package. And it really made a massive impact on my life.

So let me ask you this. When did you first get into personal development? Or were you always just motivated as a kid? Because it sounds like you had a lot of resilience that you were acting out of that you probably didn't inherit from your pops. Right?

Right.

There was a lot of limiting beliefs inherited from there. So take me back to really good question. Where was the shift for you? Was it just innate? Were you hungry for wealth or, you know, did you find personal development? JIM ROHN MENTORS early, you know, where did personal development start for you and how important was.

Started in my mid-20s. And it was everything. Pure grit, pure determination, pure. Listen. We either run towards pleasure or run away from pain. That's every decision we make in our life boils down to two things. I'm not a genius. I didn't make that up. It's just true. Every decision I made up till 25, 26 was running away from pain. I didn't want to be like my dad. I love him to death, but I didn't want to be like him. I didn't want to be broke. I didn't want to have to live in a trailer park. I didn't want to have to like. I didn't want people to tell me how I had to live. And by that age, I was like, no one's going to tell me how to live. No one's going to tell me how to dress, how to talk. This is me. And I fought for that. So I was running away from pain. And that got me there. And if that's where you are, who cares? Use it. Feel the pain. Don't ignore it. You hate your job. Feel the pain. So you make movements, right? That's right.

Pain is power.

Pain is power. Right? But then I listened to Tony Robbins and all of a sudden I realized for the first time, someone took my money. My family told me I was nuts, that I was cutting a check for.

Knowledge, for information, get rich quick schemes or something. Yeah, yeah.

So I get Tony Robbins course. And I obsess over it. Like, I listened to every audio over five days and I became a new human being. And there's a couple things I did at that moment. I realized by then I was almost a millionaire because my collision shop was kicking ass. I had apartments, I was building houses. But I still internally was a mess. Internally, I was just running away from pain. I had sleepless nights. I didn't know how to. Like, I had my Dad's thoughts inside of me, my mom's thoughts inside of me, the world's thoughts. Maureen Canossa, my teacher who told me I'm a loser and never amount to anything. Like, all those are in there. And all of a sudden, I'm introduced to Tony Robbins and personal growth. And then I signed up for power talks. Do you remember those? And I got turned on to Jim Rohn and Wayne Dyer and John Wooden. Coach John Wooden. And I mean, Eckhart. Totally. I mean, it goes on and on. I'm introduced to all these people now I'm exploring their books, and I'm becoming a student of all of them. I have goosebumps. And fundamentally, my life shifted forever. And I realized the younger at that age that it wasn't something like, you can't go to the gym for a weekend and kick ass and be in good shape for the rest of your life. When I listened, I treated people differently. I overcame obstacles better. That's right. I looked at challenges. I look at obstacles like challenges, not obstacles. When my dad talked to me, I realized I feel bad for him because that's what he thinks. That's his limiting beliefs. They don't have to be mine. All this stuff, the stuff that people think is like, no, no, no, give me the real deal. No, that is the real deal. There's no magic box that opens up and you become a millionaire. I've been blessed to meet millionaire. Lots of millionaires. Young age, and I'm friends with Richard Branson and John Paul DiGiorio. Billionaires, they don't have a magic box either. It's all this. It's all what you're sharing with your followers. It's all what I share. It's what Tony shares. And all of a sudden, I get immersed in this, and things started to shift in my life, and I realized I wanted it and I was hungry for it. And in 1997, this is dating me. I decided I want to do what Tony did. I wanted to do an infomercial. I had no idea what I was doing.

No experience.

Know what direct response marketing was? There was no YouTube. There was no Internet. Yeah, right. Nothing.

Literally clueless.

Clueless. But I said, I have a good story. I was. I went through all that. I'm a millionaire. By the time I decided to do this, I was already a millionaire.

How old were you when you became a millionaire?

About 27. Gotcha. Yep, about 27. I had over a million dollars worth of real estate, a couple hundred grand in the bank. So in 1998, I filmed my first infomercial. I created a course and I filmed an infomercial on my front yard. I was a nervous wreck. So if you're nervous about things, I hired a crew. And back then, I couldn't just go online and run a Facebook ad. There was no Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg wasn't even born yet. They were just being bored. Right. So I film an infomercial. I use credit cards. Every dollar I have. I film an infomercial. I get it on the air and orders come in. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to run the company. I'm literally running a collision shop and an auto sales and a house company and apartments. And now I have an infomercial. Like I was running my infomercial out of my collision shop office. No, no exaggeration.

Nobody had a clue?

No. No one had a clue.

So you were 27 when you launched your first infomercial?

I was 20. I was 29.

29. And you recorded it? Just bootstrapped it, Yeah.

I actually hired a good crew. I used credit cards. I hired somebody that knew how to do it. And all I really did is watch Tony's infomercial. Because what inspired me is Tony was on tv. He persuaded me to give him his money. And when he did, he delivered me a new life.

That's right.

And honestly, at that very moment, I decided I want to be in that business. I want to be in the information business. I want to be in the knowledge business. I want to share my stuff and have people go faster, quicker.

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