Identify & Overcome Your Enemy to Reach Your Maximum Potential
9 Mar 2023 · 13 min
Dean Graziosi says the stories you tell yourself about your limits are the real enemy. Write down what's holding you back, then rewrite it: a woman stopped making videos because she feared her husband's judgment, but once she named that story, she moved past it. Your underdog background isn't a ceiling, it's fuel.
Chapters
There's always a story screwing me up that I have to identify and throw out. Like, oh, my God, I can't believe that one's still here, that I'm not smart enough, that people are going to figure out that I'm not the smartest guy in the room, and all these things. And once you identify the story, it sticks out like a sore thumb. Try to find that story, uproot it. You have to identify it, and you got to write it down. Once you write it down, you can say, I know my enemy. Sometimes, without realizing, our brain says, I thought we'd be further ahead by now. Maybe it's too late. I am getting kind of older. I don't have the energy I used to have, right? Maybe it's Covid. You know, if Covid wasn't here, I would have gotten better shape. I mean, everything shut down. Things are weird, right? I'm too old. I'm too young. I'm too broken. I'm not enough. Oh, that's a big one. It's too hard. No one supports my dreams. It takes money to make money. It takes more support. It takes more time. Listen, I don't know what the story is, and maybe you guys could share some of the stories, but if you really think back at some of the thoughts, when things get tough, when you want to go for it, when you. Listen, I'm not talking about. Let's just say it like it is. I'm not talking about you doing the things that are easy for you. We teach people through. For those of you new, my obsession, my partner Tony Robbins and I, we teach people. A lot of my family members are in here. In our project next and mastermind.com we teach people how to be in the knowledge industry, right? Sometimes people will do the easy part, like create their site, create the logo, create all the training, and have this beautiful site. And it's like, how to cure diabetes naturally or how to sell better love, better find love. How to get through menopause easier. All these great things, because that part aligns with who they are. They can do it really quick. But then it's like, ooh, I got to start posting on social media. And my friends and family are going to find out, ooh, I think I got to shoot a video. And all of a sudden that story is, I'm not that good. I might not be good on camera. My friends will think I'm nuts. This won't work. And all of a sudden, I'm too old. I don't know how to use this technology, all of those things start coming in without realizing it. You're subtly backing up and you're playing a little bit small. And those stories, as you get more successful, they're always there at every level. We have to identify. I want you to hear me. I went from the brokest kid in my school to doing better than I ever thought possible, okay? Along that whole journey, I want to tell you, there's always a story screwing me up that I have to identify and throw out and be like, oh my God, I can't believe that one's still here, that I'm not smart enough, that people are going to figure out that I'm not the smartest guy in the room and all these things. And once you identify the story, it sticks out like a sore thumb. I promise you there's a story or a thought pattern that helped really ingrain it in you. And I'm going to encourage you, I'm going to encourage you, please try to find that story, uproot it, you have to identify it and you got to write it down. Because. Because once you write it down, once you write it down, you can say, I know my enemy, right? That story. Listen, someone asked me in a podcast about a year ago, if you could meet your 17 year old self and tell them anything, you only had a moment to talk to your 17 year old self, what would you say? I'd say change your story, change your life. What's going to hold you back? Is the story around why you can or why you can't. Henry Ford said, if you think you can, you will. If you think you can't, you won't. And that you gotta realize that subtle story sometimes is not the big. You can't, you're too old, you're horrible, you're this. It's like, do you really think that'll work? Do you really think I'm smart enough? Do you think the tech is too high? Do you think I could really have? I mean, love like that really doesn't exist. I mean, being 50, can you really get in good shape? It only takes this tiny little story for you to back out enough to play. Small enough that it's self fulfilling, it's self fulfilling. See, I knew that wouldn't work. And if you go in with half the energy and you get half the results, then it's pretty much it's self fulfilling, it comes true, right? So I want you to think about it this way. If you were an army, right? Let me back up that story. Or a story has already Cost you too much. Can we just say it like it is? That story that you might be thinking of to go to even, and so many here, so many of you are so damn successful that are here doesn't mean you're destitute and have nothing. But I'm telling you what's holding you back. The bridge to get from where you are to where you want to be is the story you tell yourself on why you can or you can't get there. And it's not always the main story. It's these subtle stories. So I'm going to encourage you to look for the enemy. That story, that thinking pattern that's already cost you too much. I had this amazing woman. I forget her name. It's probably two years ago. She comes on, and I call that, like, chess is going to pop up. Like, so what is it you want to do? What's holding you back? I got everything ready. She was talking about her course, and she had everything. Seemingly, she said, but I just. I tell myself that I just suck on camera, and I just can't shoot the video. I just can't shoot a video. I want to shoot a video, and I'll post it on Social. And I'm like, really? So then she shares with me. And we have a philosophy that we teach the hook story, clothes, storyteach tool. We have all these cool things, right? So I'm not teaching that today. It's about personal development. But long story short, she had all of it. And she was so articulate, and she was so awesome. I could tell there was a story, there was a story behind it. So I said, okay, so I'm talking about video. And then I'm like, is there anything else? She's like, no, I just don't think I'm good on camera. And we kept talking. I said, what about this? What about your family? And then I said, what about your husband? And I saw her face kind of change a little. I'm like, so, what's up with your husband? She goes, well, he kind of thinks. I believe he thinks this is stupid, that I'm trying this. You know, we're okay financially. I just know I want to impact more lives. I want to do bigger things. I want to do something that really calls me. I feel I'm called to serve. And he thinks it's kind of crazy. I said, have you ever shot a video around him? He goes, yeah, the last time I shot a video, he made fun of it. I realized right there, it doesn't matter what we taught her about shooting a video. It doesn't matter if her, me and Tony Robbins sat right here and she was in the middle and we were coaching her. You know what's stopping her from doing the video is the story she tells herself. If I shoot this, my husband's going to think it's stupid. He's going to make fun of me. It's silly. There is no way in history she's ever going to shoot a video because of the story. Now, I know this is a micro of a macro, but she was telling herself that story. So we talked for 20 minutes. We came up with a strategy to get her husband to say, hey, if you love me, all I ask is for your support. He felt so now I never talked to her again, but she talked to my team. She said her husband felt so bad, he thought he was just joking with her. It was a story that she created and manufactured. When he found out he was a great dude, he supported her. They started doing it together. She shot a video and crushed it and, and destroyed it. It had nothing to do with capabilities. It had nothing to do with the outside world. It had to do with this inner story. If I shoot this video, he's going to think it's stupid. When she changed that, she changed the story. She changed her life. Now, that's only in a micro. But what story? What story has stalled you or held you back? We need to convert that story. Listen, I wrote a book called the Underdog Advantage because I remember being in school thinking, how the hell can I be successful? I don't have any money. I have dyslexia. Sandy's got that book. You know what I'm talking about. Julie's got that book, right? I remember thinking to myself, how the hell can I be successful? I'm not going to go to college. My parents have never made anything. I can barely read. I got a sixth grade reading level. My teacher, Ms. Thompson, thinks I'm dumb. It takes money to make money. I remember all of those stories. And I'd love to say that there was this day, this epiphany. Someone came to me. I don't know, maybe I'm unique. I have no idea where it came from. But I remember there was a moment that they went from my disadvantage, they went from the anchor holding me back, and I started flipping all those stories. I remember thinking, oh, I don't have money, Mrs. Thompson. You want to make fun of me? I'm going to be the most successful person ever graduated from this school. I remember thinking, because I don't have money. I'm going to be resourceful. Think about that. If you don't have is money alone. Does money alone make people successful or happy? Can we just be honest? Does lotto make you rich forever? Even though you got the resources, does lotto make you happy? It is the biggest group of people who go broke and get the most depressed. They got the money. What happened? They had resources, not resourcefulness. I would thank God, the heavens, your creator, or the universe, whatever you believe in, for the journey that you've been on. Because I believe your journey has set you up for success. And the day we realize that that journey is the wind behind our sail, it is our underdog advantage that we can turn. I had dyslexia. I'm writing my first book. My first book was a New York Times bestseller, right? And I almost deleted the book and almost threw it out. I was so embarrassed of it at first. But what happened was I used resourcefulness instead of resources. I used will. I used communication. I used enthusiasm. I'm not the smartest guy in the world. I don't have a vast vocabulary. Those of you who are way smarter than me, which is most of you, you can tell I use very little words when I write. I write little words. I don't have a vast vocabulary, but I hope I cover it with caring, passion and enthusiasm. I hope I cover it with sincerity. That's who I am. Some of you can articulate your words way better than me. But my gift is I just love being passionate. I love being sincere. I love not having slides. I might have to follow a pattern, right? But that's me. And when you start understanding that these are our gifts, not our anchors, these are the winds behind our sail, that's when we start manipulating those stories of, I can't. It's the wrong time. And it's not. I can't do this because of COVID I'm doing this because of COVID This isn't going to work in a time where people are struggling. No. I want to make sure people struggle less because of what I want to do. I don't think I could ever be in a good relationship. My parents. I'm not joking. My parents were married nine times. Five for my mom, four for my dad. Nine marriages. Do you know when my first marriage isn't working? You know what some of the beliefs I had is like? Well, that's the experience I got to see. How the hell could I make a relationship work? That was bs. It was the biggest BS in the world. After my Relationship didn't work. And this is only, you know, in my 40s, I went and read every book I possibly could on love. I got a love coach. I interviewed couples that were 60, 70, 80 years old and still in love. And I obsessed and realized it wasn't about finding the perfect soulmate. I had to step up my game. I had to be a better man to attract the right woman, to be a solid human, to be that man when no one's watching. My wife knows the man I am when no one's around. I don't know if I was that guy years ago, but why did I do that? How did I do that? Because I created a new story. My past doesn't dictate my future. I wrote things down. Now is my time. I thrive under pressure. Here's some things I wrote down. Maybe they resonate with you, maybe they don't. I thrive under pressure. I'll dominate in winter. You know, the economy, who knows? I'm not an economist, but I think we're heading towards winter. And people smarter than me say we are an economic winter. So instead of saying, wow, winter's coming, I have a new story. I thrive in winter. Everybody's scared. I'm going to go skiing. I'm going to thrive in an economic winter. When others want certainty, I want creativity. My creativity will create my certainty. What is your new story? Right, because I'm dyslexic. I'm going to crush this because I'm older. I'm going to show my grandchildren how to do this because I'm broke. I'm going to make money because my spouse doesn't believe in me. I'm going to show them that they married the woman of their dreams. I don't know what your story is, but you need a new one. And when we replace the story, nothing changes on the outside world. But, man, everything changes on the inside world. Sam.
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