My BIGGEST Obstacle Growing Up (Which is Most Likely Your's Too)

When you're an underdog, you have an advantage. That story can be your kryptonite. It could be the anchor holding you back, or it could be the wind that drives you across the ocean. With all the opportunities that exist today, why haven't you reached your next level of income, life, and wealth? In most cases, we've been lied to. We've been told that if you find the right opportunity and you work hard, you can be successful. And that's simply not true. Millionaires, billionaires, and successful people have realized you need, need the foundation for wealth, the habits. And that's exactly what you'll be learning on the Millionaire Success Habits podcast. All success starts here. Okay, so here's what we're talking about today. I want to talk about your biggest obstacle that you had in your life. So last night, last night, my buddy Trent Shelton. I don't know if you know Trent, awesome dude, Follow him on Instagram or Facebook. He produces amazing content, positive, inspirational, motivational. So last night, I get on with Trent. He's got a gazillion people on. We're on live on Instagram, and he says, gives me some great compliments. He said, dean, what was your biggest obstacle? What was your biggest obstacle in this, in your evolution from where you grew up and not having money and all that stuff to the success you've reached? Right? And here's the part I really want to again, this sounds like I'm talking about me a lot today, but I'm talking about me so you can see, right? A dream. 20 something years ago, watching Tony Robbins and saying, someday I'll meet him. And now we're going to change the global conversation on education together. Think about that from there to there. Where are you? Where were you? And where could you go if you believe in it, right? So I get on with Trent last night, back to Trent, and he says, we're asking, he goes, what was your biggest obstacle? Now, at any time in my life, and this is the part I want to relate back to you. I want you to start thinking, do me a favor, if you got your journal. I always have my journal right in front of me. Oh, that's another secret, too. I'm coming out with a journal. Be on the lookout. Same exact kind of style I use, it's going to be killer. But do me this favor. If you can write right now, if not, come back and watch this. And if you're watching live, great. If you're watching the replay, just as good. The value is the same. I want you to write down some of the things that you think were your biggest obstacles in your life that could be your biggest obstacle right now or were your biggest obstacle in the past. Was your biggest obstacle in the past. So Trent asks me this, and then I started thinking, and this is the part I want you to write down and think about. I started thinking about what was my biggest obstacle. I didn't come from a family with money, had dyslexia, so school was really difficult for me. I could never comprehend school. Always felt dumb, like literally felt dumb. When my seventh grade teacher, Ms. Thompson, called me dumb, I was like, she's probably right. Hated her, but she was probably right. I was always really small, so I got made fun of. My parents were married nine times between the two of them, and I moved 20 times by the time I was 19. So I was all over the place. Right. So was that my biggest obstacle? That my family didn't have money? Was that an obstacle? My dad, he took the divorce from my mom really, really hard. And my dad was the youngest of 11 and was physically and sexually abused as a child. He never ever once touched me, never hit me. But emotionally, he never got the work he needed. It's an amazing place now, but it was just a lot. So it was really tough as a kid. I'll just leave it at that. It wasn't an easy run and some of you have had way harder, but it was tough. Missed my mom, she moved away when I was 11. So I'm thinking it was like, this is different than usual, guys. You know, if you hear me today, I'm in a really heart centered, personal mood today. And that's why I might be all over the place. But you're getting the real me and the real things that move the needle in life, especially in mine. So it was like my life was going by in front of me at hyperspeed. And I'm thinking, what was the biggest obstacle? Was it that relationship with my dad where, you know, we. We got in a fistfight once? You. I've never been in a fistfight with anybody. I didn't hit my dad, but it was. It got that bad. And then we didn't talk for a year and I still powered through and I didn't have money. And then I was like, well, was it that? And then was the biggest obstacle going from cars into real estate and then finding the money for real estate, Was that the hard thing? And then getting the real estate done and then running a collision shop and a tow truck company and my apartments and building houses Was that the tough time? Or how about when I started in the infomercial world selling my education, and I just got momentum. I was funding the information business. I was funding the information business with my real estate profits, and I almost lost all of it. And then when I finally got ahead, I literally had an accountant take all my money. One day when it was all gone, I was like, no way I'm getting through this. I'm done. And I remember thinking to myself, that's it. You thought you were so cool. This is self talk at its worst, right? You thought you were cool. I knew you weren't smart enough to do all those things. You should have listened to your family, should have listened to your friends. That was for people more educated. There were people more smart. So I'm thinking of all of these things and I'm like in my head and it's like all of that happened in seconds. Even though it seemed like I sat there for 20 minutes thinking of all these obstacles, all these things that went wrong. And going through a divorce in my life when I didn't want to go through. You know, I never thought that I would do that to my kids and the pain of that. So I want you to start thinking of all those things, right? All the things in your life. They're the biggest problem, the biggest obstacle. And then as my. I know this sounds crazy, and I thought more about it today because I knew I was talking to you guys, right? So then I thought about it today. Obstacles, biggest obstacles. They were all obstacles. But then I was thinking, what were my biggest fears? Because some of those obstacles resulted from fears or led to fears. Does that make sense? Obstacle. Oh, what if it doesn't work? Oh, what if I lose all my money? What if I'm alone for the rest of my life? What if I'm not accepted? What if they don't believe in me? What if I'm alone? All those things, right? So one thing happens, an obstacle happens. You can tell I thought about this. Like, I'm thinking deeper than I ever thought in my life, and you're just getting this glimpse of that. I hope you're feeling this. The obstacle leads to the fear. Like, I'm putting some of this together as I'm sharing it with you. So the obstacle leads to a fear. So now I want to ask you, and maybe you can write this down, what are the biggest fears that you had through your life? I had fears that when my mom moved away because it was so tumultuous, I don't think she could Handle it. My mom moved away. I had fears of never seeing her. And I had this deep level of being alone as a young kid. Right. And I had fears that my dad would do something crazy because he used to get so mad. He had all that anger built up inside of him because of what his dad did to him that it came out and really unhealthy ways. I feared something would happen there, right. I feared I would be broke and working in a factory someplace because that's my guidance counselor said was probably gonna where I'd end up. I feared when I started my first business. I feared when I moved from cars to real estate and I almost lost all my money. I feared when I went into the education business and infomercial cause I saw Tony Robbins do it. And I almost lost all my money there. I feared when I started making a lot of money and hiring more people. Now all of a sudden I had a 10 million dollar a year company and I'm employing all these people. I feared it could go wrong. Then I went to 100 million dollar company and my brand, my companies and my brands, over 100 million a year. And my fear got higher and higher, especially when the economy dropped and all of a sudden the money wasn't coming in but the bills were there and I was. I feared I couldn't make it. So you're getting to see that fear lives in all of us. No matter how successful people look from the outside. So now obstacles and fear. So what Trent says to me, what is your number one obstacle? And all of a sudden it's like, I don't know, there's 4,000 of them. And it hit me, it hit me immediately. And we had this amazing conversation. That's what I want to share with you today. It was so like breakthrough for me. I knew that you guys need to hear it today no matter where you are. Listen, I don't know where you are. If you're here with me right now, you could be doing amazing and you want to go next level. You could be struggling. Just want to get away from that. You could be in the middle. I just want to tell you this works. Doesn't matter if you're in my hundred thousand dollar a year mastermind or you're here. It's the same answer. What my biggest obstacle always was and yours is our perception of situations. It's our thoughts. Now you might have heard me write about this in my book, talk about it. But I want you to let this sink in today. You could tell I'm in the Most like, I'm using. I'm really, like, all over the place. I love. I have way. I have so much enthusiasm today. But today it's coming through my heart on a deeper level. It's your thoughts. It's your perception. You see, the same thing can happen to two different people, right? Someone can grow up with an alcoholic parent, and one can be an alcoholic because my dad was. And one could never touch alcohol because my dad was. My dad was a drinker, right? So it's perception. So I want you to think about something. All of those things could have been the final straw. Parents don't support me. I have dyslexia, didn't go to college. This is my life. Start a company, failure. People take advantage of you. Oh, could have been my life. Go into the infomercial world. Almost failed. Accountant takes all my money. This is it. That's my life, right? All of those weren't obstacles. My perception of the situation was the obstacle. Those things weren't fear. My perception of the situation was the fear. I know it takes years to really understand what I'm saying. You're like, oh, Dean, now you lost me. Now you lost me. You don't understand what I'm going through. I got the bills. I have a mortgage, my two kids. That's not an obstacle. It's not a thought. That's a reality. No, no, I'm sorry. It is your perception of that situation. Hear me. We have to change that story. We have to change those thoughts. And the obstacle changes. Listen, when I moved in with my dad, he was in a really tough place in his life. And the littlest thing, thinking about my mom could set him off. Something that just wasn't pretty and something that would make me sick to my stomach and want to throw up and not eat. And I'd walk around shaky. Now that sounds like a really terrible thing. My dad's a good man who just never got the right help at a young age, right? That could have been a terrible obstacle. It could have been the fear. It could have been the thing that ended me. And that's where I just ended, right? But guess what? I built senses back then. You guys are gonna. Some of you are gonna relate to this. I built senses that I could tell when my dad was gonna go down the wrong path. I had great dad and not so great dad. I could say great dad and crazy Dad. I, at 11 years old, started to sense when my dad was making a left down Crazy Town Road. And I would be able to feel his emotions, understand him Let him feel understood, enter conversations that were going on in his head. And I was able to pull my dad back from going down that way through empathy and love and put him down the right path. It was my self protection mechanism at 12, 13, 14, 18, 20. I knew how to do that. But guess what? It did is just one example. It made me have empathy, caring and love for teaching you. When I get on stage with my buddy Tony Robbins, there's 10,000 people in the audience. I feel like I feel their hearts and I know what they need. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm not saying I'm the best, but I feel it. I got that gift because of something I thought was an obstacle. I could have made that my obstacle. If I had a twin brother, my twin brother could be all screwed up and say my life is ruined because of what my dad did. I say my life is amazing because of what my dad did. It wasn't the situation, it was my perception of the situation. When, if right now, you decide that you are going to find a new way to look at the things in your past or the things that are currently going on in your life instead of the obstacle, you're going to look at that as a situation. And it's there to build, it's there to create something. And you might be going through shit right now. A bad relationship, a divorce, a breakup, someone passing away in your family, money, tight, terrible boss. And you might say this is for a reason. But what if, if you can't find it in this moment, what if you just adopted the thought process, said, I don't know why this is happening, this is shitty. I don't want it to be happening, but it is. And I know a lesson will come of it. It changes everything, Literally changes everything. Listen, I'm far from perfect. This is how I learned this stuff. But I'm always testing things out. I do not want confrontation with anybody. And there is an absolute avoidable way because I'm paying attention to the way I think about every situation. Because I'm realizing I never had an obstacle. I had thoughts that told me I had an obstacle. I realized that fear, yes, fear can. I'm still afraid of some things. Yesterday I filmed with Tony Robbins to start off this new training. We filmed something in advance. I'm not kidding you. You know how comfortable I am on camera. If you've been watching me for years, I don't think there's anybody more casual on camera on the planet, except for Tony. I think we're Equal in that I got there yesterday sitting next to Tony. I'm sitting in the chair. Tony's up here, the guy that helped change my life, but my buddy. And all of a sudden, right before the camera goes on, I got fear. I got fear. I'm like. And I was more like, hey, everybody, I'm here with Tony Robbins. See, I wasn't me. It still happens. But then a moment later, as he started talking, I'm like, what am I afraid of? I accomplished everything. This guy loves me for who I am. And I started talking myself through it. And by the time I spoke the second time, I was all good. I just told myself a little shitty story for a minute. So the reason I wanted to spend so much time on this today, because. And I know it sounds so simple, you might be going, I've heard this before. Yeah, you've heard a lot of things before, but is it a part of your life? How can we change the story that you have? Even the one that's deep down, not the one that you tell yourself, I can do this. I'm motivated. Sometimes just hype and motivation is, eh. You got to go deep and change that story. So today, what is. What is the story that is holding you back from the next level? What if right now, you could tell what mood I'm in? You could tell what mood I'm in today. What if right now, who would be willing to share a story that you think is holding you back? Because here's what I know. Before. Before you write anything down, before you share, I want you to think about this. I remember saying, I never went to college. I'm not going to college. I'm not that smart. I don't have any money. I have a dad, when he's going down the wrong street, is not in the best space. My mom moved away. My teachers think I'm dumb. My friends are going off to college. I remember having thoughts like, I'm screwed. I'm screwed. I'm gonna work in construction and make 850 bucks a week. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but that wasn't my original goal. I wanted to take care of my family and. And had so many desires. I remember thinking that, right? All of those things were true. But what if someone had told me? Luckily, I changed that story, right? But what if someone would have told me, hey, yeah, I hear all those things you got, Dean. Sounds really bad. I understand your circumstances. Do me a favor, go Google John Paul digiorio and just read about him. And when you're done. I want you to do your next thing is I want you to Google Richard Branson and then come back and talk to me. I would have Googled John Paul DiGiorio and seen that he didn't go to high, didn't even get out of high school, had dyslexia, didn't think he was that smart, was selling encyclopedias door to door to try to make a living. Got his girlfriend pregnant at a really young age. He was like 21 and she was like 19 or 20. And then comes home one day and finds that his wife is all packed, hands him the baby and leaves, never to be seen again and finds out she didn't pay rent on the apartment for three months. She took whatever little money they had and he was homeless in two hours after she left with a baby at 21, with no college education, no money, stressed, worried, selling encyclopedias door to door with an idea that he could help transform the hair industry. Doesn't make any sense, right? I would have read about that guy and go, yeah, that guy is screwed like I am. Oh, but wait. Through persistency, he started selling door to door one more, then finally got in a little house so he could raise his son better, his daughter better. Wow. And then he did this and then he that. Then he went on to create Vidal Sassoon and then went and launched Patron Tequila and is now a multi billionaire and one of the happiest guys I've ever met in my life. Love, John Paul DeJario. Love that guy. Richard Branson, eighth grade, ninth grade, says school's stupid. I can't get it. I don't understand. Making me sit in this class and like, it doesn't make sense. Quit school because he starts a newspaper, going out to other students that are speaking freely about life. Ends up interviewing Paul McCartney and all these crazy people while he was still in high school. Richard Branson, dyslexic, quit school, told he was stupid, started with no money. Multi billionaire, one of the richest people in the world, making a positive impact. Love that guy. One of the happiest guys. Oh, my God, I spent a couple weeks with him. One of the happiest people I've ever met. So why am I sharing this? Because the stories we tell ourselves are shit, for lack of a better word. So with that said about those two, do you think you could prove the story that you tell yourself why you're not there? And it could be the little thing. Wrong economy, wrong time, don't have time for work, husband doesn't support me, wife's not there. Went through a divorce or I'm single. I'm too young, I'm too old, don't have money, don't have time, whatever it is. Or deeper ones. I'm not good enough. That's a big one. I'm afraid to fail. Another huge one. What is right now? If we took the moment right this minute, who would have the nerve to tell me right now, what is a story? What is your story that you tell yourself on why you're not at the level of success you're at? I wrote the opening line for Larry King for my infomercial. If you ever saw my infomercial with Larry King about my book, it's an interview. It's really an interview. LARRY king, interview. But it's interview, infomercial. The opening line is this. Did you ever look in the mirror in your adult life and say to yourself, I thought I'd be further ahead by now. Think about that. So if I say that to you, if you look in the mirror right now and say, I wish I was, I thought I'd be further ahead by now. But. But. What is the but in your life? Let me just ask you right now, do you realize it's a crap story? Do you realize that that story is what's holding you back? Not the situation. It's your perception of that story. So I want you to think about this right now. The story that you're telling yourself now, is it true? Could you. Someone just wrote, I feel abused. Could it be true? Yes. That it's happening. But your circumstances, your perception of that is everything. So what I'd like you to do right now, let's pretend it is five years from today. Five years from today. We're right here again. We're chatting. I look a little older. I'm going to try not to be, but I will. It's five years from now. How would you like if I asked this same question to each and every one of you? If I ask the same question, how will you feel if you give me the same answer? That I was afraid that my divorce was tough on me, that I'm in an abusive relationship. I didn't make it because of my skin color. I didn't make it because no one supports me. I didn't make it because I was afraid. I didn't make it because I didn't have time. I didn't do it because I didn't have money. How will that feel five years from today? If that story is the thing that holds you back, the worst Feeling in the world. So guess what? We can change that today. We can decide right here, right now, in this moment to say, screw that story. Yes, some shit might be going down in my life, but more of it is in here. It's my perception. In some cases, it's your safety net. I would make it if my husband supported me. I would make it if I wasn't in an abusive relationship. I would make it if my skin color was different. I would make it if someone gave me some money. I would make it if someone partnered with me. Screw that. You don't have that. That's okay. Maybe that's your path in life. Maybe this is the exact path, God, the universe, whatever, believing, gave to you so you could prove you're worthy of more. You are worthy of more. And I'm telling you right now, you are good enough. You don't need to be anybody different. You don't need to be taller, richer, different color, nothing. You just need to find another level of you. You need to take that shit ass story and you need to find ways to prove it's a lie. And you need to be pissed at that story because guess what? That story's been holding you back for too long. I bet some of you right now, the story that you just told, you told that shit two years ago, you told it five years ago. Some of you told it 20 years ago. You're going to give that story that much power? Huh? Are you? Time to change it. Prove that it's a lie. And here's what I want you to do. Switch it, convert it, make it your power. My new book that I'm going to start writing literally next week. I'm so excited. And it is gonna be exactly that. It's gonna talk about, when you're an underdog, you have an advantage. That story can be your kryptonite. It could be the anchor holding you back, or it could be the wind that drives you across the ocean. When you're an underdog, when things are wrong, when people have done shit to you, when things aren't lined up, that can be your power. You can have the power of people telling you you can't. When you're an underdog, people say you're not smart enough, you're not rich enough, you don't have the time. You're not this, you're not that. You can go, oh, you're right. Or you can go, fuck you. Excuse my language. I'm doing this in spite. No, I'm not doing it in spite. I'm Doing it because of it. You just gave me more fuel. Some people go, yeah, maybe I'm not. You tell me I'm not smart enough. You tell me at this phase of my life, I can't do it. I'm like, okay, that's cute. And I'll do it 10 times more just to make you feel bad. Yep, it's still in me. I still got that fight. The other power of an underdog is not only told you can't, nobody sees you coming. Do you think any of my friends. Do you think any of my teachers think, Ms. Thompson, Ms. Canossa, my guidance counselor said, if you don't go to college, maybe you could work on cars or work at a gas station or a factory. She didn't do it to be mean. That's how she was taught. I make more than she makes in a year. I make more in a day than she makes in a year. I was an underdog. I used it as power. What if today things flipped and all that shitty story, all that stuff holding you back, actually today, now on this training, became your power. What if it went from kryptonite to freaking rocket fuel? What if you said, yeah, I'm in an abusive relationship and I am not accepting this anymore. That's why I'm going to be successful. That's why I'm going to be happy. I'm the wrong skin color. That's why I'm going to be successful and show the world I don't have any money. How many people that are millionaires started with no money? I don't have the percentage. I read it years ago. I think it's like 40% of millionaires in the world started with Nothing. There's over 1700 new millionaires a day being created in America alone. If that stat is right, then 700 of them started with no money. Take that into your soul, right? How many people had bad relationships are in the most amazing relationships of their life, including me? I'm in the best relationship in my life right now. I needed to go through what I went through in order to get to this place. I didn't realize I was going to get that deep on this today, but that's how important it is. I don't think this is kind of important. I think this is the most important thing the planet. Trent Shelton, my buddy, sparked something yesterday by saying, what was your biggest obstacle? And the way my crazy brain works, it brought me right to you guys and what I wanted to share with you today. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it and also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. You can always follow us on Instagram and if you don't already have millionaire success success habits, you can grab it for free@deansfreebook.com Remember, all success starts here.