Reframing Tough Experiences To Empower Your Future

If an angel came down and said, sorry, you have a week to live, who would you call and say no to? Who would you call and say yes to? Who would you call and say I'm sorry to?

Welcome to the Dean Graziosi show. All success starts right here.

I have to say I made a big transition about 10 years ago, but nobody does it better than Tony. Tony Robbins, who's a dear friend of mine. When you watch him talk about making sure you blame the people in your life. If you're going to blame a parent for not being there, not being abandoning you, not going to your baseball games, not supporting you or doing some crazy things, or if they had an addiction when they were young or they gave you up for adoption, sometimes we blame them for that. And the greatest person I've ever seen frame that in a way. I mean, I had my own transition. But Tony frames it in a way where he says, if you're going to blame them for the shit, you better blame them for all the good they gave. I remember a woman stood up in the crowd and she said, my dad was never there for me. He didn't support me. I was the only girl. I was a girl. And they had no more kids. He wanted a boy and everything I did wasn't good enough because I wasn't a boy. And I got second place in a state swim meet once. And he left and I had to walk home three miles because I lost by just a couple of inches. And she was telling how bad it was and you could tell she was just emotionally distraught. It very been bugging her her whole life. And Tony said so. And he was horrible to my mom and we didn't have money. So Tony said to her, well, what about you? Are you horrible to your kids? Hell no. I would never do what my father does. I tell my kids I love them every day. And he said, are they bad kids? And he said, she goes, no, they're both graduating at the top of college. How about your business? She goes, I started my own business. Screw him, he was always broke. So Tony looked at her and said, if you're going to blame him for being that shit dad, you better blame him for being a supportive, kick ass woman who took control of your business, took control of your to control of your kids. In fact, Tony said, you know what you need to do right now? Is he alive? Get on the phone and call him and tell him you blame him for that. And she did. And you watched a woman lost. I don't know if anybody was at that event or seen something similar. I don't know if you remember seeing her the next day. She lost 20 years off of her face. She was blaming somebody for the wrong. She didn't think about it. And the last 10% that I held onto some craziness I went through with my father as a kid went away completely, completely that day because I blame my father because I'm obsessive. I'm a hard worker and I have empathy and care and I can tell how people feel and I want to change their hearts. I wouldn't have had that if my dad wasn't exactly who he was. He was put in my life and I was put on this earth to live that experience just like you were. So if you're holding on to any of that stuff, just think of Donald Willis or whatever tough times you went through, blame them, because if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't be in this room ready for a transformation, ready for that next level. So I just wanted to share something here and I'm sorry, we're really serious this morning, but I want to anchor. We both talked about, we want to anchor this in. There's nothing worse than coming to an event like this feeling amazing and then go home and slip back and some of the things that have been really working for me. Who in here has read the Untethered Soul? Amazing book. I suggest it to everyone. I've read it. I'm on third time now in the last couple years. But there's a part in there. There's a part in there that hit my heart so strong that it changed everything. When it comes to suffering or, you know, suffering can be on a high level or suffering can be on a low level.

Right.

And that combined with the fact that, again, I'm talking about Tony because he's a friend and we talk a couple days a week. About six months ago, eight months ago, Tony flew, flew into Phoenix just to share something with me. So he flies in. His plane is the size of this building and he flies in and we go and we sit at a restaurant and we close the place and we're there till 1 o' clock in the morning just talking. And he said, I found the secret to not suffering at all. I mean, you understand something a lot of times we can share so much is because we, the people who face it the most, the people have the. We have to find the way to solve these problems and it's easier to share. But he said, I found a way not to suffer at all. I used to think That I had to stress about certain things that would make me better on stage. A better businessman, a better father, a better husband. And they realized that you could stop the suffering in a moment. You could just let it come through, and out he goes. It used to take a week, then a day, and then it was hours, and then it was minutes. Now it's seconds. He said, I don't go more than two seconds with anything that holds me on suffering. And it was a much deeper comment. We talked for hours. But that combined with where I was in my life and the untethered soul gave me this process that I want to share with you guys. You know, if I said to you guys, if you had a week to live, what would you do? And I think what most people, I want to have you right here in a minute, but not now, because it's not what you think. I think up until a certain time in my life, you would think about if you were pet. If you were dying, literally, an angel came down and said, you had a week to live, what would you do? And I think our instinct goes to bucket list stuff, right? I should have taken that trip across Europe. I should have done this. I should have done that. But I use it in a completely different way that I want to share with you guys today. If an angel came down and said, sorry, you have a week to live, who would you call and say no to? Who would you call and say yes to? Who would you call and say, I'm sorry to? Would the little things bug you? If you ordered chicken and they brought you steak, Would you really give a crap? Would you care if your friends went to the movies and they didn't invite you? Would you care if someone was rude to you? Would you care if someone cut you off in traffic? How would you be to people around you?

If it was rainy, would you say.

Shit, it's a rainy day. Or would you say, oh, my God, look at the abundance of this amazing rain? If a mosquito bit you, would it bug you? If you had a week left to live, you'd be like, oh, my God, that little thing just kicked my ass. And then I think about. And this is from the untethered soul. If a higher power, whoever you believe in God, came down and spent time with you? Do you want to be the person that lets all those little things bug you, that gets the angst, gets the. Gets in, you know, suffers? Or would you want to be the person that just is living an abundant mindset, an abundant life? And I would love for you guys to take a few moments and not think of the bucket list stuff, but think of the things you would change immediately. What would you do if a really sweet, pleasant angel came down to deliver you the bad news that you had a week left to live? I think so much would change. I mean, there might be some bucket list stuff, but I know throughout a.

Day.

When I think through that framing, nothing gets me off. Especially in the last six months, nothing gets me off track. Nothing gets me to be angst. And I have to tell you, I'm always high energy. I was always running away from my past and being homeless as a kid and couldn't read well and getting made fun of. I was always running from that. I always felt I had to run 100 miles an hour and I had a work all night and I could take on the stress. Something goes wrong with the business, Give it to me. Something's wrong, there's a conflict. Give it to me. I'll fix it. Give it to me. And I'd hold it and I'd still. I'd walk around with a smile on the outside. But I knew there was this burning hole of anxiety and stress and worry about going backwards. And I thought for so many years that was my driving force. I don't want to go backwards. I'm scared. I don't. I have this anxiety. But I can power through. And once I let that go, I was afraid to let it go, thinking that was my power, that was my superhero. That's what drove me, and it was a lie. You can accomplish just as much with zero suffering. You can accomplish just as much by being your best self, by having an abundant mindset, to search out those stories that disempower you and just focus on where you want to go. And I think what would be great is if you guys just took a couple of minutes right now and wrote down, what are five things that you would change if you literally had a week left? What are five things you would do? Who would you call? Who would you say I'm sorry to? Who would you forgive? The greatest gift I've ever been given is just forgiving all the people in my life and forgiving yourself. Would you forgive yourself if you take a moment to write that down and that was just part of how you lived everyday life? It's not that difficult because I can remember years trying to find gratitude. Somebody says, be grateful, and you're just having a horrific day, a horrific month, somebody sick. Somebody said, no, going through a divorce. How can I find gratitude in this moment? There's always a place of gratitude. And this was my little hack. This is what pushed me over the edge. Hey, it's Dean.

I just wanted to pop in here and check. How are you doing in these crazy shifting times? I know we're kind of getting used to the quarantine and the shifts, but still it can creating anxiety and worry. So I hope you're doing amazing. Also, I hope you've had the chance to pivot shift and explore new areas that are starting to thrive because of this changed world rather than those areas that are dying. And I'd like to invite you to a special training I'm doing with my dear friend Tony Robbins where we're going to allow you to investigate and explore a new way to tap into an industry that's exponentially growing. An industry where you already have the assets you could sell because they live inside your head. We are in the information age and you have an experience, a skill, a hobby, a passion, a mess or a mess that someone else wants and it lives inside here. What I implore you to do is go todeans training.com deans training.com and reserve a spot for this training and come open minded and see for yourself that in this shifting world right from home, you have something other people want. You have something that can create impact in their lives and and success for you and Tony.

And I want to show you how to do it.

So just go to deanstraining. Com.