Reverse Engineer Your Future | Start with the End in Mind

And all I could think about is, what can I do today to make that end differently? Who do you want to become? Do not tell me one thing you want. You want to meet the love of your life someday, great, but that's not who you want to become. If we know where we want to be right then we get to reverse engineer what we're doing today. So at the end, that's exactly what happens when someone reads our eulogy. Welcome back to the Own youn Future podcast behind the Scenes edition of but this Thursday might be the most special Thursday ever. I'm so glad you're listening and you are going to want to hear this entire thing. How powerful would it be to have Matthew McConaughey help you write your own eulogy? That's what the topic of today is. Imagine if you could pretend it's the end of your life and decide what you want written about yourself. Dreamer. Always wish for more. Doer can't believe all she accomplished or he accomplished. It gets way deeper than that. And this special podcast. What I decided to do was to share one of my monthly inner circle trainings. Now, this is behind a paywall. This is people who spend $47 a month to be a part of mastermind.com, the company that Tony Robbins and I own. But I believe in almost 10 years of doing inner circles. This is one of the most powerful hours of training I've ever been a part of because we broke down Matthew McConaughey's course Road Trip Module 3, more value. And we broke down the process of reverse engineering your life to start making the decisions today, taking the actions today. So someday when you're 105 and you're gone and someone reads your eulogy, it could be something you're proud of. I would say grab a pen, be ready to learn, even have a little clip in here from Matthew McConaughey himself. And before I turn you over to the inner circle on creating more value, I want to say once again, thank you. I promise to continue to do my best to deliver value capabilities, bring in the right people, ask the right questions, so you can own your future. And if you love this podcast today, make sure you subscribe, follow like it, and share it with someone you know. Without further ado, here is the inner circle on creating more value in the last two mile markers. And this again, this applies to everybody who might not be in McConaughey's course, but in the last two. The first one is Admit more. Right? Admit more just really means looking in the mirror. And tell the truth. Like, what are you lying to yourself about? What is a story that you've told yourself that gives you kind of let you off the hook for the life you really want or the story you tell other people? And it's kind of looking in the mirror and saying, kind of. Matthew called it frisking yourself. It's really just look in the mirror and say, hey, what do we got to change? And that leads right into more you, which was the second one. And that is kind of looking in the mirror and saying, now that I am going to get rid of the things that don't serve me right, I'm going to stop doing more of a not to do list. If I'm going to stop doing the stuff that doesn't bring me into the man or the woman I want to be, meant to be, I need to be so I don't end this life someday with regret, then it opens up some space and more you is like, how do I fill it with the things that bring me closer to who I want to be? Listen, there's nothing I'm going to share. This is kind of like a. Shh. There's nothing I'll share today that's going to be completely revolutionary. And you've never heard it before. That's not what personal growth is. That's not what success habits are. What this is is a reminder service of what little things we need to do to make the shift. That's really what it is. When people say to me, I know how to get in shape, eat better, work out more, right? You might know how to do it, but are you actually doing it? You might know that if you focus on solutions rather than focusing on the problem, if you focus on opportunity, not obstacles, if you focus what you could gain, not what you lost, if you could focus on what you have, not what somebody took away, we know that changes, but are we doing it on a regular basis? Are we taking uncomfortable action? So that's really why we're here today, to keep this momentum alive. And that's why I'm so excited to have you here for this part that we're going to be sharing today is we're talking about more value, right? And what does that mean? Where is our energy going? Where is our core values? Are we doing things? This is a big question. Are we doing the things today that are setting ourselves up to not have regret at the end? Now I'm going to tell a little story that this hit me hard. Probably seven years ago, I had a family reunion I took my mom and my stepdad Lenny, who had been in my life since I was little, and my kids and all of us went to Mexico because my mom lives in Virginia, my sister, everybody spread all over. We all together. We met at a house in Mexico, and I was down there, and my mom was married to my stepdad, Lenny. Now it was her high school sweetheart. Then he went off to the army. Didn't work out. After a few divorces, they got back together, and they were so in love. So I'm telling you this for a reason, because I got to witness it. Because you hear about regret, you think about, at the end of my life, will I. What will it be? But I got to witness it. And I want to. Hopefully I can share this in a good way, because it shifted everything for me in a huge way. It made it real. My stepdad, Lenny, his colon burst while we were in Mexico and was bleeding terrible. Thank God the ambulance got there. They rushed him off to a hospital, trying to figure out in Mexico what's the best place to go. It was crazy. We get to the hospital, and he lost so much blood. I guess he lost, like, half the blood in his body. It was pure white, like, translucent white. And he couldn't speak. And the doctor came over and said if we put his legs up, the blood will rush to his upper body and he'll be able to speak before he goes into surgery. I'm like, oh, my God. My mom's in the other room because she's freaking out. So I go in. I'm the only one that goes in. And they literally put his legs up on a block, and he gets a little more color in his face. And he looks up at me, and the first thing he said, first thing not, where am I? Am I okay? What's going to happen? Am I going into surgery? First thing he said to me is, dean, please tell your mom I'm sorry. And he. He spit out three things that he regretted. I should have done this. I should have went after. I should have went after. He'd been wanting to start his own personal company for a long time. Literally talked about, I should have showed your mother how much I loved her. I should have went for that business that we could have done together. And there was one other thing that's too personal. But immediately, the only thing that came out of his mouth, not know if he's going to live is the three regrets that he had. And kind of got dizzy. And he went into surgery. Now, he made it through that surgery. He lived about four more years, and we lost him. But my mom had four more years with him, and thank God they did. They had a great time. I don't tell that story to be morbid, other than I got to witness the end of a life of someone I truly respected. I loved the man. He was a good man, and there was nothing else on his mind but that and man in my heart. I was like, oh, how could. How do I get rid of that? And all I could think about is, what can I do today to make that end differently? If it was at the end of your life. You heard me say this before. It was at the end of your life. And you realize you played small or you didn't match your values of what we're talking about today. You weren't aligned with who you really are deep inside of you, not the facade we all create. If you're not aligned with that person at the end of our lives, I think the mountain of regret would be so huge. And if your maker, God, whoever you believe in, said, you have one wish, Michelle Morin, you have one wish, Suzy Marie or Kara, Paige or Dawn, you have one wish, Linda, what would it be? You say, can I go back? Can I go back? Can I go do this over? Can I shift some of those cultural things? Can I shift my values? Can I shift my energy? Can I make a new list? Wouldn't that be. Tell me right now, Wouldn't that be your wish? Yes or no? Would that be your wish? Dan Collins. Thanks, brother. I see your hand up, right? Would that be your wish? Of course it would. Well, wish granted. We're here. We're not at the end of our lives today. We have time. So that's why today, I think, is so important and why we invited everybody to this, because we want to talk about shifting things today. So the end looks completely different now. I think it all starts with this. And we've talked about this before. Compelling future. We all have to have that. I love talking about the lighthouse, right? What is a lighthouse used for? If you've ever been to America, on the east coast, northeast coast, off of Boston, and Cape Cod, Rhode island, there's lighthouses. And those lighthouses were to guide people either where to go or where not to go, Right? Guide the ships, guide you through the storm. That's right, Mark. Right. We all need a lighthouse of what we're focusing on. So I don't want to go deep on your why or your focus, but you need your compelling future you need to think about, because life is going by 100 miles an hour. And it's not slowing down. It's only speeding up. In my opinion. I think as the older you get, you feel how far fast it goes. So we need to know. In the beginning of Road Trip, in the introduction, McConaughey said, what do you want more of and why? That's really your compelling future. I want more time. We talked about this. I want more freedom. I want to be more in control. I want more love the highway to more, right? I want more. But we have to identify that. We have to identify that, and we have to stare at it, and we have to write it down, and we have to decide, what is that more? What is that lighthouse. When I say a lighthouse, the reason I say it is think of a lighthouse as a moving object, right? It's like you've already set goals in your life that you've surpassed, but have you upgraded your compelling future now that you've passed it? Like, I want to take my lighthouse, and I always want it 10 or 20ft out in front of me. I want to make it so I'm a better human. I'm a better man. I'm more in control of my time. I make more impact. I leave this world better than I found it. I donate 15 million meals to Feeding America. I think we're at 13 million 800. I want to get to 15 million. We've saved several thousand kids from slavery. I want to make that bigger. I want to be a better husband to my wife. I want to be a more engaged father. I want to. I want to have a bigger book, a bigger impact. I want my team to love what they do. I have my compelling future. But sometimes you come up with it. Now you need to go, holy shit. You need to celebrate that you reached your lighthouse. And then you got to walk it out 20, 30ft again and set a new, compelling future. Does that make sense? But to have a compelling future. But to have a compelling future. And I've took notes that I want to make sure I do not miss. We have to have the right values today. Now I want to stress the depth of values. I don't know if I even gave two craps about what my values were in my 20s. I was broke as a kid. My parents got married and divorced a lot. There was a lot of uncertainty. I wanted to make money and be certain so I could make my own choices. I don't know if I had values. I probably took on partners sometimes that were like, hey, if they can help me, I'll do It. I didn't align values. I just wanted not to be broke. I wanted not to have uncertainty and I was moving forward and God, I wish I could go back and shake my 20 year old self and say, if you align your values of who you really want to be when the shell comes off, when there's nobody watching, if you could align your values with who you want to become, that puts rocket fuel in your gas tank and it makes you feel good about yourself, doesn't it? Who's really honest? Who has ever made a decision that you think could have helped your life, your career or something in your life, but it kind of wasn't aligned with your values, but you did it because you thought it could bring your head. Raise your hand. Thank you, Graham. Thank you. So many people raising your hand, right? And even if you got the goal, how did it feel? Did it feel good or. No, not really. Right. And who in here has ever stuck to their guns? Jason Rodriguez, I see you smiling, right? Who's ever stuck to your guns? It's my value. You made a decision and even though you lost out, you knew you made the right choice. Right? Of course. I know I'm asking questions to have an easy answer again. And I don't mean to. Some of you are just meeting me for the last couple of weeks. Some of their faces. I see your faces. I've known you for years, right? So I don't want to get. But this mastermind monthly, this inner circle has become a family to me. And I communicate a little different here than I do anyplace else. I feel like I'm around people I've been around forever. I feel like I'm sitting with a bunch of friends and we're all talking about how to do better in life. So just know that's the kind of vibe I'm going for, if you guys are okay with that. I don't have slide decks. I don't. I prepare like crazy and I'll look down at my notes. But this is a bunch of friends, all of us trying to do better. We're trying to all get to another level, aren't we? Don't we all feel we were meant for more? Don't we want to get rid of the crap that's held us back and feel better and live into our full potential? That's why we're all here. There's nobody here for a reason, for nobody here to complain. There's nobody here to blame other people. We know we have to take responsibility. So I want to share something that was a big impact in my life when I think through that lens. Hey, it's Dean. I wanted to jump in here real quick and say I hope you're enjoying this inner circle segment that is a part of mastermind.com we do these trainings live every single month. Next month is Marie Forleo. The following month is Matthew McConaughey. Following month is me. We have special guests training on topics that move the needle in your life towards you, reaching your full potential. We have a weekly live training. We have a new course released every month. Tony Robbins and I built something we wish we had. And it's just $47 a month, but wanted to let you know, if you'd like to give it a test drive, you can go to startmm trial.com startmmtrial.com and for a dollar, you can get a 14 day test drive and we will donate that dollar to Feeding America to see for yourself. If you'd like to be a part of an amazing community with new capabilities coming out every single week. Without further ado, let's get back to the podcast. So I'm 47 years old. I'm going through a divorce. I'm on my way out of a divorce. Not an advocate of divorce, but I didn't think I ever would because my parents have been through so many of them. I didn't want to go through a divorce. Some of you already know that. But I'm 47 and I'm freaked out because I think my kids are going to go through the same stress that I went through as a kid. And it was bringing up some anxiety and stuff that I hadn't dealt with for a long time, all this stuff. So I fly down and I spend a couple days with my dearest friend, Tony Robbins, who's this is. He's the master at it. And I get blessed that he's my dear friend. I'm like, I'm in a weird space. I want to come see you. So we're talking, we're going back and forth and we're working through things. Yeah. Thought about. Yeah, I'm focusing on my, my lighthouse. And he looks at me in the middle of all of it. And you can picture who's ever seen Tony train, right? Tony's big, he's dynamic, and he's got that voice. And literally we're sitting outside at the back of his house. He's on a couch. He comes over and sits next to me. I look 4 foot 2 next to Tony and he puts his face right next to mine and says, brother, who do you want to become in your 50s? With the most intensity I've ever heard. I'm 47. At first I'm like, this is how you're helping me. Like, you're asking me who I want to become. Come on, dude. I'm here because I'm freaking out a little bit. And something about his intensity, something about the moment, the time I was going through my openness, I heard it for the first time, and it hit me in a completely different way. He said to me, and maybe this is a time for you. He said to me, I know you're going to achieve a lot. You're a hustler. I know you're going to be okay. I know your kids are going to be okay. But I'm asking you who you want to be. Who do you want to become? Do not tell me one thing you want. You want to meet the love of your life someday, great, but that's not who you want to become. And it hit me and I left there and I didn't write what I wanted. I started writing down the stuff that I want to go through with you today is what are my values? Who do I want to become? Who do I want to aspire to be? And I started writing down what kind of man I wanted to be to my children. I wrote down what kind of man I wanted to be, what kind of human I wanted to be to my ex wife. I wrote down that day that changed everything for me, that I was going to replace every emotion that I felt in negotiating and kids and all that with compassion. I wrote down, I want to be a man who can replace emotions. Where you go, what you want that much money or what, you're going to take the kids or what? With compassion. Hey, we went through a divorce. It sucks for everybody. That day I committed to replace. That's who I wanted to become, aspired to be that day. I wrote down the time. I'm not going to have as much time with my kids, so I need to go deeper. I have to replace abundance of time with depth of relationship. I wrote down, I want to be the type of man when my kids talk to me. I'm not staring at my phone going, wait, wait, what'd you say? Hold on one second, I'm almost done. My kids talk to me, phone down, in the eyes, active listening. I wrote it down that day. I wrote down what kind of leader I wanted to be in my team. I realized my company had been growing so fast and that I had going through a divorce, that I was a little edgy with my team. If they didn't get shit right right away, I was like, what the hell? I explained that to you. I'm like, that's not what a real leader does. I lead from the front. I wanted to be a man. That was an example for people. I wrote down, be an example to your team. I wrote down that day, and I've shared this with some of you before. I wrote down that day that if I want a badass relationship, if I want a badass partner, the type of woman I wanted, who would love my children the way I love them, that worked on personal growth, that could do this with me and all the things I wrote down, if I have the nerve to write down that that's what I want out of a woman, well, damn, I better step up who I am. And I wrote down who I wanted to be in my 50s as the man that would attract that type of woman in my life. It just. I had heard that how many times here. Who do you want to become? Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I want to become a badass. I want to. That day, maybe because I was a point of weakness, a point of going through this trauma, this feeling of separation and kids and how to tell the kids and all that stuff. That day, it hit me, and I made a list of who I wanted to become now in McConaughey's course and the reason. Thank you for letting me share my personal story. I'm not doing it to talk about me. I'm hoping to do it to trigger something in you today. Who do you want to become? Because once you know who you want to become, it doesn't mean it happens overnight. This is the part I really want you to hear. It doesn't mean that it happens overnight. You don't say, I want to be this man. I want to be this father. I want to be this partner in a relationship. I want to be this leader for my team. This is how I want to represent myself to you all. Doesn't mean it happens with a flip of a switch, but it allows you. And I wrote this down. It allows you to reverse engineer the end result and start making the changes today so you end up being there. I would bet to say he asked me that at 47. Tony's been doing this a long time. Maybe he knew. I think I became the man I wanted to become by 50. Probably took me 3 years to figure that out. Probably took me 3 years to Figure that out. But I started making decisions today. I Could reverse engineer it. Like I said, that's what we all get to do today, right? McConaughey, in the lesson in mile marker 3, module 3, he asks you to write your own eulogy. Oof. Write your own eulogy. We're going to go deeper on that. Sounds morbid, but it's not. Because then if we know where we want to be. Right, Bradley? If we know where we want to be, then we get to reverse engineer what we're doing today. So at the end, that's exactly what happens when someone reads our eulogy. But first, let's think about. Let's think. Let's go through this. Before we write that eulogy, let's talk about values. I got a couple here that, you know, going through, working with McConaughey, and every bit of that. Course, this is a little bit of McConaughey, a little bit of me, and a little bit of us together, right? But think about this. What are some old values that maybe got lost in the journey? What are some old values you've had? I wrote a few down. Maybe when you were a kid. I remember literally thinking, if I ever got wealthy enough to go to Europe, I just thought about this one today as I was writing this down. I was like, if I could go to Europe. I always thought, as a kid, because my family was so fragmented. My dad was the youngest of 12, didn't talk to all his brothers and sisters. They all had this crazy Italian relationship, and they all fought with each other, so they weren't connected there. Then my parents were split up. My sister lives somewhere, and I always thought, as a kid, I want to do a family reunion every year, man, that was something I thought about for years, and I kind of lost that. I'm going to polish that baby. I had one. I told you about it seven years ago. I'm going to polish that up and bring that value back to the connectivity of the people that are a part of our lives. Did you ever get together with family when you're so busy and you forget and then you finally do and you're like, God damn it, why don't I do this more? Who's ever felt that way, right? So that's part of, I didn't have it, so I want it. You know, they're simple things, but did you once think that, was there, a value that you believe that real love actually existed, and then you've been burned a few times and now you think it's a facade? Wouldn't it be cool to go back and think that true love does exist. Would that be a cool value to bring back and polish up? Right. Some of you shaking your head up and down, a few of you left and right, right. Maybe that's not yours, it's mine. I dreamed of true love as a kid. I used to watch people holding hands in the mall. When I was 10 and 12 years old. My parents had already been about, on about six marriages and I was like, they don't have love, but I'm finding love. And I remember watching couples holding hands in the mall when people used to go to the mall more. I'm like, man, I'm going to find that love. And then I got in this 15 year thing where I'm like, I don't know if real love actually exists. My parents tried nine times. Doesn't it work? Man, I found that true love bug. And that's a part of my value. Love first. Love first. Why I can come here and love talking to you guys because I fall in love with what the results you guys can get. Fall in love with your clients. Fall in love with the people you're going to serve. Fall in love with your team. Maybe that's too deep of a word for you, but for me, love is a new value, a polished new one. And my wife, who we've been together six, five and a half years now, she's helped bring that out. I look through the lens of love first. That's value that I had at 14, lost it for a long time. Now it's front and center. It might be my biggest value. I'm not saying that should be yours, but it's something to think about. Please put something in the chat, Terry. Thank you. Put something in the chat that was once a dream or a value you thought you were going to lean into and maybe you even forgot about it or you haven't thought about it in years. Fall in love with your story, the whole story. Support, right? What is a value? Family dinners. Oh my God, what a simple and amazing one. I love the idea. Look through the lens of love first. Getting together, growing up with cousins. Write a book, be rich and famous. Fun, laughter, adventure. Sunday with family. That's one I still work really hard on. It's hard at 16 and a 14 year old. They want to go in a million different directions. I still. Sundays is family day. Sunday with family. Me too. I love that. Travel, compose music and film. Family days, family days. Time with girlfriends. Sunday, self care. Being playful. A day unplugged. Compassion. Right. Time outside. Oh, is that a good one? The value of just spending time outside in the wilderness. Like, some of you might like ocean, some of you might like desert, some of you might like mountains. When's the last time you said, my God, as a kid, I loved being in the woods. When's the last time you went in the woods? It's just fun to think of the little things and the big things. What's an old value? Write this down in your journal, in your workbook, anything you have on your phone notes right now. What is an old value that you want to polish up and bring front and center back to your life? Being outside, in person, quiet time, reading books, campfires, swimming, love, family vacations, travel missions, helping others. Do you see how. Who is feeling a little nostalgic or a little excited about what you're writing down right now? Right? Beverly, thank you. Like, you know, that feeling, the whole goal here, the reason we're together every week that you have a course, you have access to mastermind. I want to remind you about these things as much as humanly possible. So does Matthew, so does our whole team. Because if we remind you, you will get disturbed with inaction. If we leave things the way they are, will they change? Can we just be honest? Just be honest doesn't mean your life is horrific. But you're here because you want another level. If we leave it the same, we will get the same results. That is one thing I can promise you to be true. If you shift and change, I can't promise you that all your dreams will happen in 18 minutes. But I can surely promise you, if you do nothing different, you will get the same of what you have. So if you notice, what we're doing is we're coming up with different approaches to disturb you, to break out of the shell and go, screw it, I'm not satisf. I'm going from work. Can you feel that? Do you see that? That's why we're here. No magic machine to make you wealthy, happy, joyful, overnight. It takes a little work. It takes a little work to go to the gym and be good shape. It takes work to be an active listener, to have real love in your life, to have compassion and empathy. It takes work to get the business off the ground and to take it to the next level. It takes work. But it's 1,000% worth it. Because the worst thing that can happen is settle where we are, get to the end, and our eulogy sucks. The end of our life. We look back and go, shit, I missed it. I don't want anybody Neither does Matthew. Neither is our team. Nobody wants you to say, shit, I missed it. I'd rather be here with you. Trying to disturb you again. Some of you we just met, you might be like, hey, I came from a Conor Hayes. Dean guy. I don't care. I'm just here to put like a splinter in your shoe and go, damn it, damn it. I got to do something different. The splinter hurts, right? Your life is that important, and you're worth it. Thank you for putting all these. You haven't missed anything, Ashley. We get to start today. Best time to plant a tree 10 years ago. Second best time today. Okay, you haven't missed anything. We get to start today. All right, so if we're. If the first one is, let's find some old values we could take back off the shelf and polish up. You guys gave me some great examples. Kind of feeling cool about that one. Got something. Maybe spend a little more time. The next one. I want you to think about some old values that used to serve you, but they don't anymore. But you've been doing it so long, you're not even recognizing it. Doesn't drive you towards your compelling future. Think about that one. What are some things in your values? The way you look at things that were programmed by someone else. Parents, ex spouse, ex relationship, ex friends that you're still holding onto, but they don't match your new compelling future. They don't match the woman that you've decided to become. Think about that. I don't share, truly. I don't share a lot of the stuff outside the inner circle again. And I don't mean to make this about me. I just hope if I look transparent enough and I show you me too, that maybe it'll open you up a little bit. I watch so much dysfunction in relationships that probably one of the reasons that my marriage didn't last. There's probably multiple reasons is I don't like asking permission for anything. I am a go getter. I am a bulldozer. When I want to do something, I just freaking go when it comes to business. I love when 10,000 people tell me it can't work because I will make it work. I love. That's a personality trait of mine. In my previous relationship. And we are on amazing terms, by the way. We co parent. Probably better than anyone I've ever seen. Right? I hope. But in my previous relationship, if I wanted to do it, I didn't ask permission. I would never come home to my wife and say, I think I'm starting this New company I just started. I got hired to speak on stage once a week in different parts of the country for five years. It was incredibly lucrative. I didn't think to go home and say, hey, I got this offer. It's millions of dollars a year. All I got to speak is 90 minutes once a month on a stage. It's millions of dollars a year. I didn't say that. I thought it was a good deal. I got to impact people's lives. Signed the deal two weeks before I was going. In the previous relationship, she's, where are you going? Oh, I signed this deal. It's a whole year I'm going. I'm not asking permission for that. I've worked my ass off. I lived in a trailer park as a kid. I had nothing growing up. Now I get to impact lives for a living and I get to take care of this family and I get to make it so you're saf and our kids are safe. I'm not asking you. I know that that was a value that came from somewhere. Is that a good value, yes or no? The strength is good. The way I did it in a relationship was shitty. How did. She must have felt like, I have no choice. I'm not a part of these decisions. I probably would have applauded you, but at least you could have told me. What if I brought that value to my new relationship? Probably would have got the same results, wouldn't I? Hell no. There is nothing I don't do without talking to my wife, Lisa. And not because I feel obligated, because I want to. I changed the value system in my body to say when I share it with her, she lights up like a Christmas tree. And women, especially you women, you have so much intuition, you can see around corners. You like men. If you're not trusting the women's in your life and their intuition, you're absolutely crazy. My wife will give me a different perspective. She'd be like, hey, that's really good money. You get to impact lives. But did you ever think what's worth more? Going bowling with Luka or Brody or being there for Brie for her baseball thing or this other thing? I don't know. Why don't you weigh the odds? Why don't you write on a piece of paper? On a scale of 1 to 10, what's it mean to miss your kids on a weekend? Miss Sunday dinners, miss they're in baseball and basketball and tennis and you're missing that. Plus, you want to write that new book. Is that going to disturb the path of the book you are. I don't know. My wife will be like, I don't know. You write it down. If you think going away once a week, once a month is good, I'll support you, I'll applaud, you all pack up, we'll go together. Damn it. She's always right. I'll write it down like, son of a bitch. No, I'm not taking that deal. Right? And I like this new value that I brought into my life. That old value sucked. It probably cost separation. It caused people to go, okay, that's the way he does it. I'll do it my way. Probably those decisions and some on hers. We just grew apart and co parented. We were together the last five years as co parents living in the same house. All I'm saying is I'm being really vulnerable and transparent. You guys all know so much about me. But just to know that we got some shit. Do we all have stuff? Can we all agree we all got stuff? Stuff that our parents gave us. Thank you so much. Love them, but they gave us our first relationship. Gave us our teacher. Gave us a bad partner in a business we started. Gave us, don't ever partner with somebody they'll screw you over. Not all partners will screw you over. The one you chose did. You got sold by something bad. It was a bad person. Selling a bad thing doesn't make sales bad, just makes that person bad. Right? We all get this stuff. Parent was unfaithful or a parent went through bankruptcy, or somebody was an abuser. Right? Or someone had baggage. They gave us stuff. We don't have to hold on to that value anymore. We could let it go today. In fact, what if you shift the value today. And then recognized how it might have hurt someone in the past? Send them a text and say, I'm sorry. Mend a bad relationship. Can I tell you. I'm gonna tell you one more thing here. Sorry, I'm going a little longer than usual on this segment. My dad was the youngest of 12 kids. His father physically abused all of them and it messed up all the kids. His parents divorced when he was 11. Never spoke to his dad after 11 years old. Hated him. Tried to kill him once, literally. My dad shot at his own father when he was like 19 years old because he abused him so bad. None of the kids talked. All the brothers and sisters were so dysfunctional that they didn't talk to each other. My dad held this value of screw them, they didn't stick up. My dad was the youngest. My Older brothers and sisters didn't stick up for me when my dad abused me. They didn't do anything. And he held onto that for so many years. And my dad gets in his 70s, value changed overnight and realized that that man caused all the dysfunction. And all of them suffered, and he didn't want them to suffer anymore. And he tried to mend. And half his brothers and sisters were gone. Now there's only two left, him and the oldest. My aunt's 100. My dad's 86. They're the only two left out of 12. Every time he sees her, he cries, breaks down in tears and hugs her. And he missed. I could cry now because he missed 20, 30 years with him holding onto a shit old value. Like, why wait till the end of your life and look back and go, I wish I would have? What if you just decided today that shit doesn't work? It's hurting me. Some people think it's weak to forgive. Others, Ah. Oh, my God. It's the strongest thing in the world to forgive, and it frees your soul. I didn't mean to go down on a tangent on that, but maybe it's a day to let go of an old value. And if you find a way, maybe there's a way to mend something that you don't have to look back at the end and regret. Cool. Okay, so that's the second one. First is an old value that you want to bring back up to the surface and polish it. Another one is an old value that's not serving you anymore. That's the old you, grant. You got to get rid of that, throw that crap away, and maybe mend some bridges along the way. The third one. What are some new values you'd like to incorporate in your life now? What are some new values? Maybe you want to prioritize health over your relationship. I mean, health over your business. Excuse me. Maybe you want to say, I want my health to be first before my career in business. I want my career in business to be good. But, man, I got to put health first. I got to stop compromising me for that. That's starting today. Or maybe you don't want to compromise your relationship for the career you want to incorporate and bring those two together. Maybe that's a new value. Maybe it's a new value that you make sure that you listen to, some kind of personal development that stirs your soul and gets you to think differently every single week, every month, every day. I started 16 years ago. I've always listened to. I've Always listened for, well, about the last 20 years. I've listened to books on and off. About 15 years ago, 14, 15, 16 years ago. I'm trying to think of the age I was. I decided every day I was going to exercise every day, seven days a week. And how I got myself to exercise. Like every day I'm going to listen to personal development. Something that from history, from personal growth, spirituality. Just things that can expand my mind and show me a different way. I made that decision. I don't miss a day. This morning I listened to one album, listened to Michael Singer, not the Untethered Soul, the other one, Life Untethered. Untethered Life, something like that. I'm listening to his newest one. I'm listening to it right now, every day because I need it. Because here's what I want to tell you. If I don't, if I don't immerse myself in this, I get to train it every day. I get to listen to it every day. I write multiple New York Times best selling author on personal growth. I'm telling you, a guy that's immersed this much in it, if I went a month completely disconnected, the old me is trying to come back. Tell me that's not crazy, right? So what are some new. Put it in the chat. I'd love to see Living Untethered. Thank you, Suzanne. What are some new values? Maybe a new value is every day looking at who you want to become. I put myself first. Freedom, right? What are some other ones? Put it in the chat. Maybe. Maybe you've been giving your family leftovers and you need to move them up on the priority scale, huh? Maybe you'll try to see the other person's perspective more than you ever have. Maybe you'll question your own beliefs, question your own thoughts. It is true that our best thinking got us here. Is that true? Is that true that our best thinking God is here? Of course it is. Our worst thinking wouldn't have got us here. Our best thinking, God is here. So do we need to upgrade our thinking? What if I wrote down this this morning? What if you made sure you surround yourself more with the right fit people? What if, ah, this is because I'm probably in Michael Singer's book, the Life Untethered or Living Untethered? What if a new value that you started today is you are going to be the observer of your thoughts? Sounds a little crazy. I tried 10 years ago. I couldn't figure it out. I read Eckhart Tolle, the Power of Now. Think about your thoughts. What the hell does that mean? Yeah, it was probably 15 years ago. Whenever that book came out, I read it, and I remember thinking, it makes so much sense. Do we have two thoughts going on in your head at all times? Is there always two thoughts? We always got that voice in there. Always. Like, you walk into a party and you see friends like, hi, everybody, and you're thinking to yourself, why would she wear that dress to an event like this? What voice is saying that while you're simultaneously saying hi, talking to people? Stacey, am I right? There's another voice inside of us that's usually the insane voice. Why would you think that you're too old to start your new business? Like, wait a minute. I'm sitting here starting my new business. Who is this? Right? So if we get to be the observer of our thoughts. Hey, I can do this. You're too old. No, no, no. Shut up. That's already cost me too much technology. Won't work. Takes money to make money. Wrong this, wrong that. There is that voice that causes what we call imposter syndrome or insanity or feels like you're crazy, right? I can remember being on stage when someone says, there's not two voices. I can literally remember. I don't do it as much now. I'm probably on stage 10 times a year. I used to be more, but I could be on stage doing a presentation. Last event I could think of, it was with Tony Robbins. We had 20,000 people in the audience. Oh, my God, they were on fire. It was amazing. And the whole audience is on fire. Tony's got them in such a state. I come out and they're jumping up and down. They're excited. We're going through this process, and I'm in the middle of presenting, and I could see One person, like, 30 rows back, 10 seats in, is falling asleep. And you know when you got two voices? Because I'm like, what the hell's that dude's problem? This is the conversation, this dialogue. I am presenting, I am sharing. I'm doing the things that I do. Have you ever seen me on stage? I'm doing my stuff like I'm doing right now. And as I'm doing it, I'm going, I wonder if I should just walk out there and just shake this dude. What is his problem? What does he need? How could you not be excited at a Tony Robbins event? Jesus Christ. Who's insane? I feel insane because there's this dialogue going on while stuff is coming out of my mouth. The reason I say that is because we can be the observer of that thought. What if that's a new value? That every time you go to move forward, to take a uncomfortable action, to say yes, to say no, to say I must, to say I won't. To focus on solutions, not the problem. To focus on opportunity, not obstacles. The moment the voice comes in and goes, no, no, no. You've tried that before. You go, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I'm not listening to you today. I have a new value that monitors the thoughts that go in in this crazy brain. I'm just throwing stuff out there, but I would love to see in the chat what is a new value that you are going to commit to doing? What is a new value? Not just a good idea. This is not idea day. This is commitment day. What new value are you going to commit to doing? How about just commit to the next seven days? You have to commit to your whole life. Can you commit for the next seven days? If you can't, you really got to judge yourself right now. If you're having a hard time writing down or thinking about it, then don't kid yourself. You're saying you want a different life and you're not willing to do shit to make it happen. Can I just be honest and talk to you like I'm talking to my daughter? Don't say you want another result and then you're not willing to commit something you'll do for seven days. Just hang up. Don't ever come back and leave your life the way it is. I'm sorry. Just being real. Nothing happens unless you get uncomfortable. You don't get in better shape without working out. You don't make more money without putting in the effort and being innovative. You don't take your life from where you are to where you want to be. You can't say I meant for more and then not do anything about it. So what can you commit to? Keep promises to myself. Doing a course, a day. Bam. Focus on solutions. I'm never going back to the person I was listening to. My inner guru, AKA my intuition. A whistling commitment. More studying. Focus on my health. Commit to learn new stuff. I love it. Stop doubting others. Peace. Read twice. Heed my gut. Continue. Just do it. Working out. Practice sign language. Tell myself, I love you. I love it. Love me first. Put myself first. Journal more. Don't be controlled by others. Meditate Positive affirmations. Health is number one. Restore my thoughts. Stop arguing. Practice, practice, practice. Protect my peace. There you go, Steph. Commit to growth. Grow every day. Be consistent. Take action. Do the Paperwork. Be grateful. Commit. Guys. So amazing. So amazing. So we're going to get to. I'm going to challenge you in a moment here to write some things down that would go in your eulogy. In fact, you know what I'm going to do. Most of you, I mean, so many of you have McConaughey's course. Road trip. Awesome. If you don't. Today is on its own training. Doesn't matter if you have it or not. This is on its own training. But there's a little clip if you have the course. Matthew does about 40 minutes, 30, 40 minutes of training on camera. We built a beautiful set here for him. He knocked it out of the park, but then he gets serious at the end, and at the end, kind of goes off camera and gets you to do the work because he wanted you to focus on the work, on you taking the uncomfortable action. And there was a little clip that I thought was so powerful about this in the training that I thought I'd play for you. And then we're going to set up the exercise I'm going to nudge you guys to do. So if we could play that quick clip of McConaughey. I'll be right back. Two minutes.

Question three. What will be said about you when you reach the ultimate destination in this life? Yeah. Let's look as far forward as we mortally can and talk about our eulogy. The legacy that you leave behind, the words that introduce you when you're gone, they are being written by you right now in this life. What is said will not be a nice set of words that accurately summarizes your working resume and professional accomplishments. No, your eulogy will be written by the values you live by now in this life. And again, guess who's writing yours? You. Did you graduate from these schools? Were you a member of these organizations? A manager at XYZ Company? Did you have a higher gpa, SAT score and a bank balance? Yeah. I mean, it's cool to be for achieving any and all of these, but not at the expense of your values. You do that. Yeah. You might have a life that is well quantified, but will it be a life well qualified? Ask yourself, what impact do you want to have on your friends and family? What are they going to miss about you when you've left this life? Your humor, your smile, your listening ear. How do you want them to feel about you on that day? What's important for you to leave behind? Will your daughter say, my dad, he was such a dreamer, full of big ideas, always a new Plan. Shame he never had the chance to live them out. What will she say? My dad, he lived life full out. Sometimes he fell flat on his face, sometimes he flew. But it didn't matter. Whatever he did, he did it with all his heart. He valued going after his dreams. And dang, he loved the family. What will your best friend say?

Woo hoo. Woo.

Boy, she sure knew how to party. She was always down for a good time. She sure did know how to have fun. Or will she say, you know what? She was a friend. Friend who was always there. Good times and bad. Whenever woman was running in the other direction, she always ran in. It was clear from the way she lived her life that she valued showing up for the people that she loved. Or is she gonna say you were both? That you knew how to have fun and you knew how to show up. That you were there for the Saturday nights and the Monday mornings. You see, your eulogy finds its point of origin in your values, what matters to you and how you live it out in your daily life. So ask yourself this. How well is your future aligning with what is important to you now? That's why we're doing this. Not to. To manipulate your emotions. But we're doing this. We can, we can time travel. Do a quick check in to see the road we're on is getting us to our destination that we have in mind and heart. This is an important one. So get out that road map and let's do.

Wow, is that amazing? Who can just feel it? Who maybe took your breath away, made you really think about that? You know, we sat around, we worked on this for six, eight months weekly via McConaughey and my team and his team. And then he flew in for five days and we went through this. And if you knew that every single word was crafted, every single word was written to get an emotion because we don't move when it's logical. Is that true? Who in here knows? Logically, you should have made some shifts in your life at other times, right? But we make a shift when it's emotional, right? And his tonality, his caring, his depth of understanding, the words, all of it was crafted so you'd feel the way you feel. So we actually do the work. The greatest gift you could do is get off this today and actually write down a eulogy in the next hour while you're thinking about it. So many. We got thousands of you lives, thousands of you are going to watch the replay. Why not do it now? You're worth it. And I don't Mean to make this worse. But when we did this, the night we did this, the night we did this, and we went deep, we spent hours on this exercise. And those words you just heard that night, I went home and started thinking about it. And I'll tell you how bad, because it's in the course, but we wouldn't even do it. I started thinking about, where do you think that eulogy would be read? And I started thinking, would it be in the little town of upstate New York where I grew up? I grew up Catholic and Italian town. Would it be back there? But I've been living in Arizona for 20 years, so would it be someplace out here? Would it be at my home? I can't. It's hard to. And I'm probably thinking, my oldest daughter, Brianna, who was born on my birthday, who's always been my, you know, daddy's little girl, would she be the one reading it? I started thinking, would she say, my dad accomplished so much. Sometimes I missed him because he wasn't around, but I was proud of him. Man, I don't want that middle part of he wasn't around or he was a little distracted. And I started fine tuning these little pieces and said, I could change that now. I could fix that now. What would my wife say? What would my team say? You know, he said it in there, but, you know, would your eulogy recall your intentions or your actions? Write that down for me. Would your eulogy recall your intentions or your actions? Would it recall what you dreamed about or what you did? Would your eulogy talk about your potential or your outcome? The only people I meet that say, God, my mom had so much potential. I wish she would have done something with it. Screw that. Potential unused might be the biggest tragedy of our world, right? Not trying to make you sad. I'm trying to spark an emotion. Jordan, I think you're feeling it today, trying to spark an emotion. It's what McConaughey did. In those words. I'm just trying to push it even further. So we do the work and then we make the changes. Today. I'd love for you to just take a few minutes here and just write it down. While you're in this state, what are some of the bullets that you want? Not what's going to be what you want in your eulogy. Well, how do you want to be described how do you want to be described when it comes to your intentions, your goals, love, friendship, connection, how do you want to be described? Thinking through those lens of intentions or actions or dreams or what you did potential or impact what you were capable of or what you actually accomplished. Look at all these great ones coming in. Authentic and loved. Genuinely. Never took no for an answer. Look at that one, Robin. So good. He helped shape the world we live in today. Oh, my God. She learned to say no when yes didn't feel right. She was brave, persistent, loyal, loving. A man of unconditional love. Told cancer to piss off. Actually, she said F off. So she put her heart into everything. Truly helpful. Made everyone feel understood, caring, kind, thoughtful. Believed in herself. She was flawed, but succeeded anyhow. Generous, always there for others. Unconditionally. Loved by all. She was loving, caring, smart, fun, genuine. See, there's nobody in there. Putin. She was a millionaire. He was super rich. But guess what? We can have both. You can reach all the dreams you want. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Just remember what the values are and who you want to become. People always say to me, when I get success, I can find happiness. Ah. What if you felt happiness first and the success came 10 times faster? Did you ever think about that one? What if you truly leaned into who you were and stopped trying to be something for other people? And when you found who you really were, then all the other pieces of the puzzle clicked together. Guys, this has been an amazing time. Being a of part. Part of the inner circle. This is what we've been doing every month for almost a decade and each of you are a part of it. Now there are multiple inner circles to go back and look at. Four years worth. There's a new course every month. Just the things like I said, it's the equipment in the gym. Does that make more sense? Now, you might have needed this today, but there might be another training that's in there that you need. Go find it. Dig in. Make it a new culture that if you don't have the answers, find from someone, whether that's Matthew McConaughey, me, or Tony Robbins or Trent Shelton or Brendon Burchard or somebody else out there. Find someone who can help you get from where you are to where you want to be. But I'm going to encourage you. Write your eulogy, do the work, stare at it, think about it, and implement something this week. If you can't do it for seven days, then damn, gotta remind yourself you are worth it. We got one shot. I hope you enjoyed this special edition of the Own youn Future podcast. Our monthly trainings and our inner circle trainings are specifically for our members. But I really thought, and I hope you agree. It was one of the best trainings I've ever done. It really got me thinking. And I hope you'll write your eulogy. I hope you'll start making the changes today that can make it so when you get to that final destination, you can close your eyes with a smile. And that's. Isn't that what it's all about? Again, thank you for making the Own youn Future podcast, one of the top podcasts in the world. Beyond Grateful. Make sure you follow, subscribe, like, share it with somebody you know, and we'll see you next week.