Special Tuesday Weekly Wisdom! - Dean Graziosi Weekly Wisdom
5 Feb 2016 · 5 min
Dean Graziosi explains how to defuse stress by questioning your worries. Ask yourself: Is it true? Is it definitely true? Most anxiety comes from stories we tell ourselves, not facts. Finding evidence against your negative assumptions can cut stress, especially around family.
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Hey, everybody. Dean Graziosi, welcome to this special Weekly Wisdom. I'm shooting this one to replace the one I did just a couple days ago. You know, in seven plus years of doing these videos every week for you, I love every one of them. But I went back and looked at the one I did earlier this week, yesterday or the day before, and I missed the mark of what I was trying to share. So I said, let's scrap it and hit reset because that video kind of sucked. So I can say that you can't. No, I'm just kidding. And now I have another video I want to share with you. And another thought today. I want you to think about when you're going to try something new. When you have a confrontation. We're heading into the holidays and I know what it's like to have family and friends. And sometimes no matter what you do and you think you're putting your heart out there and you're caring and loving, stuff happens with family at Thanksgiving or Christmas or, you know, it's just a weird and amazing time of year. So it could be with personal relationships, family relationships. It could be doing business with a partner or a friend or a co worker or a boss or someone who works for you. But I want to share one of the biggest things that has helped me in the last couple years. When something goes wrong. You see, you might not know this, but I've spent a lot of nights sleepless. A lot of nights. I mean, when you're in business for yourself and you're trying to help the world and grow a business and grow a family and have children, you know what it's like. You wake up in the middle of the night and your head starts spinning. Well, I went through that on and off most of my life. And I used to think that was unique to me and maybe that helped me get ahead. If I could think through my problems at night. No, I should be sleeping at night. But I want to share with you. That still creeps into my life. I'd be lying to you, say that everything could go wrong and I'm just calm and cool and I can handle it. I probably handle stress better than most, and I'm sure you do, too. But what's allowed me to do that? And this is what I wanted to give you this weekend with this replacement. Weekly Wisdom is when something goes wrong, when there's a problem with the family, when someone talks about you, when you hear something at work, when you hear something, you know you're trying to get stuff done and you Hear a rumor about yourself. I want you to think about what is making you upset. And I want you to ask yourself immediately, is it true? Is it true? Most of us stress and worry about things that aren't true or will never happen. We know that. But when we're in it, we're just flooded. We have this cloud, this fog over us, and we start telling this story that's probably not true. And then ask the second question. Say, is it true? And if you think, well, maybe, kind of say, is it absolutely, definitely true, in most cases, it's not. You see, And I've been sharing stories like this for years, guys, especially if you've been watching me for over seven years. You know, I hit on this probably every three or four months. But reality is nothing more than our perception of something happening, right? Something happens with your family, the way you internalize it, the way you think. My family never accepts me. My spouse never gives me credit. My spouse never supports me in my vision to do my own thing or take my life to the next level, or my friends think I'm crazy, I want to make more money. Is that definitely, absolutely true? Or are you creating that reality for yourself that could be crippling you, that could give you that knot in your stomach that could make the holidays not what they should be. Guys, I want to tell you something. I went years and years not liking the holidays when I was a kid. My parents split when I was three, and they both got married a lot. I love them both dearly. They got married a lot, though, and there was always a move and there was always splitting between mom and dad. And dad went through years. My father went through years being really upset that there was a divorce. So being with dad at Christmas when I was young wasn't pleasant. So I formed this feeling of not liking the holidays. I just wanted to get past them. And I missed years of liking it. Now, I wasn't a humbug. I'm generous. I give out the charity. I do a lot of great stuff. We all do. I'm not patting myself on the back, but I know I went through years of just wanting to get through it, and I missed it. And now I look back and say the stories I was telling myself, if I would have just said, is that true? Is it definitely true the way you're thinking? I would have called BS on myself. So going into the holidays, going into any circumstance when you feel bad when something's going off, please ask yourself if it's true. Is it definitely true? If you have to Google it and find out. I know people said I can't make money because I never went to school or you need money to make money. Is that true? My spouse doesn't support me. Is that true? They never supported you. I've never been loved. Is that true? No one's ever loved you. I'm just saying, guys, we talked about these stories. We talked about a lot of different ways, but the quick, easy way, and I'm leaving it here, I'm just pounding it into you, is ask yourself if it's true, is it definitely true? And then go get proof that it's false. And watch how that stress and that worry can melt away. That's my replacement weekly wisdom. Guys, thanks so much for being here and watching me week after week. If you don't have my New York Times best selling book, the Personal Development Book and real estate book, you can get it@deansfreebook.com that's deansfreebook.com if you're at Dean Graziosi.com, you can go right up over here. I'll talk to you next week.
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