Stop Playing It Safe!
14 Jan 2022 · 13 min
Dean Graziosi walks through a year-end review exercise: list your regrets, failures, and missed opportunities from 2021, then extract one lesson from each. He argues that failing bigger and faster is how you grow, and that success means different things in relationships, health, family, income, and career.
Chapters
Some people say, I want to be happier. Like, what does that mean? I want more money. Here's five bucks. Is that what you wanted? Like, we have to define what success means to us. And it's different. I promise you. I promise you. What you thought success, what success meant to you five years ago and 10 years ago is not the same now. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi Show. All success starts right here. Do you guys know what the definition of success is for you in your relationships? What does success mean to you in your health? What does success mean to you in your family life, your income, your career, your business? Right? I'm just going to encourage you and we'll go deeper on this. We're going to fine tune this. That's the process we're going through today. But a lot of times I ask people that and they really don't know. They know, they don't like where they are, but they really haven't defined where they want to be. And we're going to do that today. Like, down to the granular part. Like some people say, I want to be happier. Like, what does that mean? I want more money. Here's five bucks. Is that what you wanted? Like, we have to define what success means to us, and it's different. I promise you. I promise you. What you thought success, what success meant to you five years ago and 10 years ago is not the same now. Is success the same before you're married and after you're married? Changes, doesn't it? How about what success means to you before and after kids? Ooh, that's a big one, right? That's a big one. Success is completely different after kids. Like right now. I want to design my whole life to spend every single moment I possibly can outside of work with my 13 and 15 year old because it's going way too quick. My daughter's in high school. It's going 100 miles an hour. She's going to be in college or off someplace before I know it. Like, I want success means to me that I can make the choices of, to do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it. Right? Today I will be catching for my daughter for practice. Her coach will come over. I want to catch for her. Other people can. I want to because we bond, right? These little things are success to me. I have a success criteria for my health. I have a success criteria for my relationship. I want you to really think through that. We're not going to do that right now. That will be part of this evolution. Let's start by looking backwards in 2021. Now this is going to seem like, wow, thanks for bringing me here to depress me today, Dean. But I would love for you and write this down. I would love for you to write down and think through what are the regrets, failures, missed opportunities, botches, mistakes, whatever you want to call it. What are the regrets, failures, mistakes or missed opportunities that happened in 2021. Really want you to think about that. What went wrong? Where did you procrastinate? Where did you waste time? Where did you miss an opportunity? What did you try and didn't work? Really take a moment and write this down. This is part of setting up 2022 for the win. You can't know where you're going to go until you figure out where you've been. As we write these down and I see so many of you writing and I see some of you not we all screwed up and did things wrong. Congratulations for being human. Congratulations for being human. If you listen, if you're on a quest to be a better version of you, I promise mistakes are going to be made along the way. If you don't want to wear someone else's name on the back of your jersey, if you want to live life to the fullest, if you don't want to see a video at the end of your life of the woman that you could have been that then we are going to make mistakes. We are going to fail. That means that you are moving forward. If you don't have any mistakes in 2021, then I'm sorry you didn't try enough. You're playing it safe and nothing is going to change. I want you to be disturbed with inaction. You want another level of life, we got to screw up. We got to get out and step off the path. We got to get out of the norm. We got to get away from what's comfortable. You want to take the island, you have to burn the boats and that journey. You are going to mess up. You are going to fail. You are going to do things wrong. Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, who just sold for billions of dollars. I remember one of her stories about her dad used to ask her all the time, what did you fail at today? And if she said nothing, he's like, well, you didn't push yourself. Think about that philosophy, right? What went wrong, what didn't work? Because that is the building block to who we're supposed to be. And this year I'm going to encourage you to fail more, fail faster, fail bigger, be Disturbed in a bigger way. Because here's what I know. If you fail of something bigger, you learn bigger lessons. It's like if you say nothing really went wrong in 2021, then you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. You're here because you want more, but you really didn't put the effort in. In 2021, you played. How is playing it safe working out for you? You want to tell your maker at the end of your life, I played it safe. How's that going to feel? You're going to want to redo. You're going to want to do it over. The things that you wrote down that failed didn't work. You procrastinated. What's one thing you learned from each one of the things that you said you failed? What's one thing you learned? I tried marketing this way. It didn't work. I tried this with my relationship. It didn't work. I tried that diet. It didn't work. But what did work out of it? You might have figured out what doesn't work for you. I need to exercise in a variety. Trying to do the same thing over and over doesn't work. Me, I tried counting calories one time to get in, like, ideal shape. I can't do it. I'm not the person that's going to figure out I need a diet where I can just look at stuff and order it or. I don't mean a diet like I'm dieting. I just have a regular way of eating, exercise. I need to mix up my cardio. I can't just run on a treadmill every day. If I try to do that, I get so bored, I quit. But if I go run the mountain, take a job, do the StairMaster. I have the Peloton. It's amazing, by the way. Do the Peloton, bike, go play racquetball, Go play squash or pickleball. If I mix that up, I'll do cardio five days a week. If I try to just sit on a treadmill every day, it doesn't work for me. So I know that can't work. I also know in my relationship that if I don't. If I work so much that I don't look my wife in the eye every day and ask her about our day and catch up and have that time with my wife and I. My wife goes to bed a little bit sad. And I realized that that doesn't work for me. I don't care that my business is big and I have hundreds of employees and I got a million things going on. My wife, the love of my life. If I go home and just kind of dismiss her day because my stuff was bigger, then that woman doesn't look at me the way that I love the way she looks at me. So that was a little bit of a fail because we went down the road, and I was starting to go down that road. I got so busy. I was running Tony's company, running my company, writing a new book, flying all over. And I'm like, baby, I love you. Got some big stuff going on. Thank you. And I'd go to bed and. And I watched my wife go to bed sad for about two months, and I didn't know why. I'm like, damn, what's going on? It's because it was all about me. I realized where I fell. All I got to do. I'm so lucky. It's so easy to be married to my wife. I just got to stop and go. I had a busy day, babe, but I missed you. What's up with you? And if we have 15 minutes of that talk, man, I got an amazing wife that looks at me like it. It's just the greatest thing on earth. It was a fail until I figured out what went wrong and what I learned from it, and I shifted. So I want you to think about this. I want you to take two minutes right now, and I just want you to write down, yeah, you failed, but what could you have learned from it? Marketing that way doesn't work. Talking to my husband that way doesn't work. This kind of exercise doesn't work. But what did I learn? I should mix it up. I should talk different. I should listen more. I should mark it different. I need to get more capabilities. I got to dig back into the course. Those that you got. Accelerated success formula. Got to get back in the course project next. Got to get back in the course. Got to get a coach. I don't know what it is, but you'll learn something from it. I want you to take those lessons now. You can go back. You got your notes. You know what we're talking about. You can go deeper on this. I want you to take those lessons. You have to take the things that went wrong, identify them. We have to jot down what we can learn from them. You ready for this? We want to take the things we learned, and I want you to have, like, this hypothetical line drawn in the sand. 20, 21 lives on this side. 20, 22 lives on this side. You take the things you learn from the failures and you bring them over the line, and you leave all the other crap in 2021. Picture it this way. I read this once someplace, and it stuck with me, and I'm going to paraphrase it now, but think about. You have a house and it's all shelves, or a building with all shelves, and it's all the things from 2021, and you're taking what serves you. You're taking the lessons learned, and you're putting them in a suitcase and you're carrying them, and then the place catches on fire. You let all the crap that didn't work burn down in 2021. You just carry out of the house or across the finish line the things you learned. Does that make sense? Because so many of you are carrying regrets. You're carrying things that went wrong. Yes. Some of you screwed up on relationships. Welcome to being human. Some of you screwed up in your business. Welcome to being human. Some of you didn't eat right. You didn't take care of your health. You know, you had diabetes. You still ate like shit. Okay, you did it. You want to regret and carry that forever, or you want to leave it in the past so you can become the man or the woman you were destined to be? When we can't carry all the shit from our past and try to become who we're meant to be, we got to find a line in the sand. Dennis, you feeling me on this one? And we got to leave it in yesterday. That's how you identify where you are and where you need to bring it with you. You guys got that one? All of us want to go, oh, this went wrong. And I didn't lose the weight, and I didn't fix the relationship. I didn't launch my business. I didn't get to 100 grand a month. And then you say, well, what did you accomplish? I don't think anything. Right. That's the way our brain. Our brain wants to tell us. You screwed up on 100 things and you got nothing done. Totally not true. Impossible. You being here today is an amazing accomplishment. There are so many micro accomplishments that you've done in 2021, and we need to carry those over with us in 2022, because they're going to be the building blocks that we're going to grow bigger, faster, stronger on. So what I'd love for you to do right now is take a couple minutes, and I'd love for you to write down the things, the pieces, the elements that got you results that move the needle, things you accomplished. I went through the course. I put my course up. I created a product, I created a service. I got my first online sale. I know what I'm going to teach people. I got my husband and I connected in a way I never have. I started working out. I. I started eating better. I stopped eating bread or I stopped drinking too much soda. I quit cigarettes. There's a million things that could be on your accomplishment list that you never gave yourself credit for. As I go through this with you, this is my New Year's. I'm setting my New Year's up, literally with you. As I'm doing this, I have my notes, I remind myself of all these pieces because we need to. And I want to tell you we got to keep this momentum alive. But I. But if I just inspire you today, if you just get motivated today, if you just take notes today, if you just think about this today and in a week from now, you're right back into the old routine. I promise your old life will devour you. You will go exactly back where you were. Not that your life was horrible where it was. But you're here because we want another evolution. Is that true? Right? We want to grow. If we're not sliding, we're climbing. If we're not growing, we're dying. We want, as humans, we need to grow. We need to impact more. We need to give more, be more, do more. So what I'm going to encourage you to do is stay in this game, stay a part of this family, stay engaged, do whatever it takes to leave all the old in the past and unleash this next level potential in 2022. But I also want to give you the opportunity to be a part of my accelerated success formula. If you like what I'm teaching today, if you like being a part of this family, being a part of this community, I'm going to make this real simple for you. Imagine a six module course that literally sets the foundation for an unstoppable mindset. Like we shared today, the seven steps to a Shifting roadmap. The action and implementation. And how do we make 2022 the best year ever? As always, our podcast is free. We don't even sell advertising space. 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