The #1 Thing Holding You Back From That NEXT Level... - Dean Graziosi Weekly Wisdom
1 Jul 2016 · 8 min
Dean Graziosi says the number one thing stopping people from leveling up is negative people around them. Instead of arguing with naysayers, he teaches you to listen and understand where their negativity comes from, like a spouse's fears rooted in their childhood.
Questions this episode answers
July 1, 2016.
Negative people in your life.
deansfreebook.com
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Hey, everybody. Dean Graziosi, welcome to the Weekly Wisdom. I have a really powerful and important message today on the naysayers, the negative people in your life, those energy grabbers, the ones that tell you you can't, the ones that try to hold you back, the ones that bring you down. And a few years ago, I ran a survey to all my clients. I sent it out to everybody. So what's the number one reason holding you back in your life? Is it lack of time, Lack of money, Lack of knowledge, negative people in your life, or fear of failure? The number one thing in that particular survey was negative people in your life. And I want to give you a secret today to change that. But before I do, I want to do a little housekeeping first. If you're watching us here@Dean Graziosi.com, if it's the new Dean Graziosi.com or it's the realestate portal, it doesn't matter. These messages are here to deliver. We're in the process of upgrading our site, so I'm not sure where you're watching. Maybe on iTunes, maybe on YouTube, maybe on Facebook. It really doesn't matter where you're watching. What matters most is I'm going to be delivering you wisdom week after week, which I've done for over six years now. And here's the other part. I encourage you, if this message inspires you, please share it. Please make write a post@dane graziosi.com that we've had for eight, nine years now. People's posts have inspired and transformed so many lives. Your message, your thought for today, is deeper than you think and it carries more weight than you think. When thousands of people get to see others making a difference, others feeling it, others taking a step today, it's contagious again. I know for an absolute fact, because I've had the chance to meet thousands of my students, that these weekly Wisdoms have been the foundation for massive success in all areas of life. So I encourage you, watch these every single week. I don't do them just for my health. I do them for you. Please post, share, comment, tell your friends, get engaged. Don't be standing by, just an observer. Be a part of it. Even some of my DG family members who've gone on to get massive success, come back and remember what gave you the motivation to take you there. Okay, I want to talk about the naysayers again. I ran a survey about a year, maybe two years ago and asked the number one thing holding you back from that next level of life. And the number one answer was a negative person or negative people in your life. Number two was a fear of failure. So maybe we'll talk about failure next week or the week after. But today I want to give you a little secret, a tool to deal with those negative people. And it could be the person you go to bed next to every single night. It could be your children, it could be your parents. It could be a co worker, it could be anybody in your life. It could be one of your best friends. And you're trying to always bring them up and they're always bringing you down. Well, here's a little secret. So many times we want them to understand us. No, no, no, you don't understand. I'm into personal development. If you just listen to you just read this book, totally fulfilled. If you just get this program from Brendon Burchard or Tony Robbins, if you just try this, if you listen to Napoleon Hill, if you listen to Dale Carnegie, something. And we're always trying to help. And I know that because that's what I want to do every day when I meet someone who's just looking at the glass half empty. We also want to sometimes prove why they're wrong. We also get defensive, like, how dare them talk to me that way? How dare them crush my dreams? That's all natural and that's the way we've kind of been brought up. But I'm going to ask you to do something completely different if you don't already do this. This week. I want you to observe those naysayers, those negative people in your life, and instead of trying to fix them, contradict them, give them a better way, have them to get you them to understand you. I want you to truly understand and try to find out where they're coming from. Why do they feel the way they feel? If you can get to the root of it, if you. Let me just use a silly example. If you have a spouse and you want to try your own business, and your spouse is like, no, you have to stick with your job. We're going to lose everything. You have to. We need safety. Then their foundation is built on certainty. Now if you just go, come on, I'm doing my own thing, you'll fight with the surface level. But instead, what if this week you just listen and walk in their shoes, wear their glasses and go deep and see how they see the world, you'll find there's a reason for that. Maybe your spouse's parents lost everything when they were young and they had the catastrophe of a Foreclosure or bankruptcy. Or maybe they had teachers that told them, you got to stand in line, do what other people do, and not step. Paint outside the lines, or you'll lose everything. Somebody in their life along the way, their parents, their peers, their friends taught them that they need to be safe and secure. And when you want to try your own business or your own thing, it feels like their world is coming apart. So instead of being critical or trying to get them to understand you, I want you to really work hard on understanding them. It changes everything. It changes absolutely everything. So many couples I'll see fight, and they think they fought because someone was five minutes late or because they didn't get the laundry done or they didn't pick something up at the store. Never has anything to do with that. It's five steps beyond that. It's deeper when you find the root cause of it and you show that you care enough to understand that root cause. So instead of the conversation of, hey, I'm doing my own thing, just get over it. Let's do this. And you fight, say, listen, I've been listening to you all week, and I understand why you feel that we need this safety net. I get it. Your parents, your teachers, your friends, your peers. You were brought up in a way that if you try your own thing, you could fail and lose everything and we could die. And that's how it feels. Well, hon, we're not going to die. And I want to make sure we have some security. So this is what I'm going to do to make you feel good. Do you think you could support me here? Because this is the way I feel, but I understand you. Now, I'm not trying to oversimplify things, guys, but we all have those negative people in our life, and we can combat them. We can try to change them. We can try to project, get them the way we make, have them feel the way we feel. Or we could truly understand them. And maybe subtly, not maybe, because I know this for a fact, you can show them a different path, and they can, you know, take up those safe, take out those safety nets, take up those. Those barricades that are holding them back to seeing how you are. So again, it goes back to some of the things I always say. People listen to you, love you, buy from you, learn from you, understand you when they feel understood, not by just trying to make them understand you. So that's the lesson for the week. Again, people will love you, learn from you, listen to you when they feel understood. You allow people to say I get you without even saying it, just by your actions and your mannerisms. People open up and be less of a naysayer. Because again, we can't change other people. But if we change our heart, we can accept them for who they are and hopefully let them know we understand them, but show them a slightly different path that can change your life. I'm Dean Graziosi. Thanks for watching this weekly Wisdom. I encourage you to share post wherever you're watching this, let the world know that we're doing these week after week. We've had a massive following for a lot of years and I want to continue the momentum. And if you don't have my New York Times best selling book Totally Fulfilled, my first New York Times bestseller and my latest real estate book, 30 days to real Estate Cash, guess what? You can have them both for free. If you're not on dean graziosi.com, you can go to Dean's fourth, that's deansfreebook.com and you can download both of them right now. And if you're at deengraziosi.com, somewhere on this page, you can just enter your name and email and we'll send it to you immediately. Thanks for watching and look forward to sharing again next week. A powerful message on how to take your life to that next level. Talk soon.
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