The Keys To Self Confidence And Powerful Persuasion

Today we're going to talk about persuasion. We're going to talk about the power of persuasion, how to persuade yourself and then in turn how to persuade others and not to look at it through a negative eye. With all the opportunities that exist today, why haven't you reached your next level of income, life and wealth? In most cases, we've been lied to. We've been told that if you find the right opportunity and you work hard, you can be successful. And that's simply not true. Millionaires, billionaires, and successful people have realized you need the foundation for wealth, the habits. And that's the. That's exactly what you'll be learning on the Millionaire Success Habits podcast. All success starts here. Today I want to talk about persuasion. And this morning I got up super early, maybe way too early. I think I was up about 3:45 this morning I was extra early. I don't usually get up that early. And this morning I laid out the agenda for you guys before I hit the gym, before I did my morning routine on persuasion. And I want to get to first kind of the, the big picture of it. I was looking at that later, but I want to talk about it now. So many people I know some of you share that you're afraid to sell or some people even think selling is bad. And I want to kind of set the frame of persuasion because persuasion, sales kind of the same thing. But today I'm going to get tactical. I'm going to show you how to break that fear and how to sell. So when we look at selling, if you have a negative association to selling, that just means that, that at one point in your life, somebody sold you something and maybe you were taken advantage of or you had a relative or parents that talked negative about selling because they had a bad experience. But I want you to look at selling in a different light and persuasion in a different light is. Nothing in the world would happen without persuasion. I say this a lot, but was Martin Luther King a salesman? Absolutely. Was Mother Teresa a saleswoman? Absolutely. If they didn't know how to persuade people to take action, to persuade themselves, which I'm going to talk about first, nothing would have happened. It would have been a guy and a girl with a dream, but not actually getting anything done. So let me just ask you, if you don't think you're good at selling or persuading. Let me ask you, have you ever persuaded your husband or your wife to go the way you wanted to go? They wanted to go to Florida on a vacation, you wanted to go to Hawaii. And you're like, well, I see both. And with enthusiasm, with excitement, or however you did it, you persuaded them to go to the place you wanted to go on vacation or persuaded to go have the kids go to the school you wanted to go, even if your husband or wife didn't know, or whatever your significant other. Or persuaded them to go to a certain restaurant or whatever it is. Let me ask you this. Have you ever gone to a great movie and you see a friend, you're like, oh my God, you have to go see this new movie about 20 minutes in, you're like, your hair stands up, you can't believe it, go see it. It's at this theater. If you've ever done anything like that, that's selling, that's persuading, that's at the. That's a low level. But you are. And think about that. When I'm selling, when I'm persuading, what are you typically. Could I persuade you? If you showed up today and I was like, hey everybody, I'm really glad you showed up to the millionaire success habits. I think you should listen to me today. No, that's not. When you persuade, you're on fire, you're enthusiastic, you have lots of energy, you're really your best self. So I'm going to go in a. I have a plan here today. But I really want you to open your mind up to knowing that whether you want to persuade a spouse or a loved one or a child or a parent, or you want to persuade people to take action and give you a credit card for the amazing service or product you have selling. And persuasion is a must. If not, you'll just obsess on the product, obsess on the details, obsess on the structure and no money coming in. And you either got a business that fails or a business that causes you stress. So here we go. We're gonna go down the bullets that I laid out for you at about 4 o' clock this morning. You ready? Okay, let's see. First, it all starts with a vision. Now, I'm not gonna go really deep on vision today. Cause I wanna talk on persuasion. But the people who persuade the most know exactly where they wanna go. So instead of me going deep on it, go back to the R Factor question I always talk about. It's a year from now, it's the best year of your life. What does that look like? You're looking back. How much money are you making? What are your finances? Where do you want to go in your business, your career? Do you want to rise up through the ranks in your current company, start your own business or scale the current business or do a side hustle, do a business on the side? Don't know what that is for you? If you want to write it down, you can, but you need to know. So once you have your vision, here's why I want to tell you. So let's not go any deeper than that. You write down, what's the vision? What do I really want? Because this is the first thing. The first thing you have to do is know what the end goal is. Because that's where your persuasiveness, that's where your sales and marketing everything has got a funnel towards your end goal. What is it that you really want? Sometimes we're pushing for stuff to get through a temporary moment in time, but it's not really our vision, not really our end goal. So first thing about being persuasive, first two things kind of is knowing where you want to go, knowing your vision and knowing what the goal is. And then here's the biggest sales job you have to do in the entire world. You have to sell yourself on that every single day. You have to persuade yourself to go in the right direction, to say no to the things that don't serve you. Say yes to the things that take you towards that vision and goal. When you sell yourself, you know what happens? You get enthusiasm, you get optimistic, you get persuasive. Let me ask you, have you ever sold anything, got anybody to do anything in your life? Had somebody say yes, if you were. Kind of like I was doing before, ah, today, you know, if I'm selling cars, ah, you should try the blue one. We should try that restaurant. No, that doesn't work. It works when you're on fire, when you're courageous, when you're confident. And how you get that is knowing your clarity on where you want to go and then selling yourself every day on that big dream. Because the news is going to try to steal it from you. Friends are going to try to steal it from people who love you are going to try to steal it from you. Your work's going to try to steal. The rough day at the office, the rough day at your business, the rough day of sales online is going to try to steal it from you. So you got to wake up the next morning, know where you're going, and sell yourself on your bigger vision. Now, when you sell yourself, then you have the energy to give out to other people. And so here's what I want to Share right now. How do you get this enthusiasm? How do you feel like this every single day? I'm not saying fake it and there's not this manufactured way. I'm not saying to use it as a sales tactic. This is just who I am. But how do I get enthusiastic? It's because I know where I want to go. I feed my soul with the things that light me up. Like your comments. When I see thousands. I've read tens of thousands of comments from my students that I'm changing their lives. They're loving my books, loving my courses, loving what I train. I read that. It feeds my soul. It lights me up, you guys. Jill, you help bring this enthusiasm out. But again, I know where I'm going. Right. I also, and this is going to get off a minute, but I want to get in here for a moment. Is what can drag your enthusiasm down is when you're dragging your past. Like you got a boat dragging it across the desert. You're holding the anchor rope and you're dragging the boat. You're bringing your whole past with you. You're like, oh, how could I do this new thing with all this? It's time to cut the rope. It's time to let the past go. Burn it. You know, my mentor said, you know, it's like you're in a house and everything on the walls is your past and the house is on fire and you got a suitcase. Let it all burn. Just grab the stuff that serves you. Grab the stuff you learn from, grab the things that empower you. Stuff them in the suitcase and let. There's not enough energy to focus on that and go to your new future and have the enthusiasm. So you let the past burn and you bring what you've done with you. First of all, that's a positive focus. You take that now, you look towards the future, on your new goals, your new vision, where you want to go when you do that and you realize that. Let me just back up for a minute. Enthusiasm and authenticity will outweigh being over prepared and over studied and perfect on camera or perfect on writing or perfect on a YouTube video or perfect when you do the job, when you talk to your boss. I just want to say that again, enthusiasm and authenticity outweighs everything. I look back at my career, guys. I didn't go past high school. I don't have a great vocabulary. I know that. I don't. I don't use monster words. I don't articulate super well. I use amazing, awesome, fantastic. I use those words a lot. I know that I do. But you can tell this isn't coming from something I fake. This isn't coming from some script I'm looking at right now. It's coming because I know you are on the other side there right now taking this knowledge in. And you need it to change your life. If I don't give it to you with all of me, it's just going to be something else. You watch. I want you to be here every single month. Or if you're watching the replay, I want you to feel it and know that this works. You can gain that same amount. You don't have to be an extrovert that was born with this ability to walk in a room and say, hey, everybody, look, I'm here. I'm still one of the shyest guys. I am such an introvert. I hide around crowds. I can go on stage in front of 20,000 people and rock it. I could do it on camera, but I'm still a little shy. But when I'm on, when I'm doing my thing, then you get all of me. And I want you to find a way to be your most enthusiastic self. Bring the past that serves you. Get motivated about tomorrow. Don't let anybody get in your way. Say no to the things that don't serve you. Say yes more to the things that will. And start finding the energy. Because let me tell you something. If you're in a job and you'd like to rise up through the ranks or you see someone else in the company come in and they went past you like, what the heck? Let me just tell you this. Go to start going to work, even if you don't love your job, with enthusiasm. Before we even get to the tricks, to persuade. And I say tricks, but they're really. It's to empower people to take an action, right? If I got you to be here today for what you paid to be here, I'm going to over deliver in a massive way. I will do anything in my power to get people on this. But you want to feel the same way. You want to get a raise? Start with the enthusiasm. And I want to share. I'm digressing here a little. One more thing I want to share. When I was in my 20s, I used to fix cars. Hated it. I painted cars, I fixed fenders, had bodywork on my hands, pain on my hands, got headaches from fumes. I hated it. But I have to be honest with you, I was enthusiastic every single day. You know why? Because I knew I had to do that to get to where I really wanted to go, that was a stepping stone. And I did it like I love being a collision repair guy. I felt freaking hated it, but I did it enthusiastically because I burned everything in my past that didn't serve me. I felt empowered and I knew where I wanted to go and I knew enthusiasm was going to get me there because I didn't have money and I wasn't that smart. Let me just say it like it is. I had enthusiasm. So how do. Let's find that enthusiasm? And one of the ways to really get everybody says, what's your secret to marketing, Dean? I got a lot of things. I've been marketing for years. I have to, to get people engaged in what I have. But the number one thing, and you should write this down, the number one thing I truly believe is why I can talk to you on camera like this. Why I love to sell, why I love the market, is because I truly believe that if I didn't get you here, if I don't get people to engage in my courses or buy my books, that I am doing you a disservice. You see, if I didn't persuade you to be here, if I didn't persuade you to pull out a credit card to be here today, you might give someone else a credit card and maybe they won't serve you as good as I am. I'm not going to knock all my competitors, but I know a lot of them suck, for lack of better words. So if they're better at persuading and worse on the product, then I did you a disservice because I didn't get you to say yes to me. Someone else did. I'm not going to let that happen. I want to be the best. Right? Secondly, worse is if I don't get you to give me a credit card and be here today, persuade you to take action, maybe you do nothing and maybe life stays exactly the same. You see, today and every time I train and when you're here every single month, you really can throw away most of the stuff I say and look for those two or three things that you just go, oh, my God, that hit me. That's me. I could use this. I could feel I can implement that in my life. That's what makes a difference. So when I know, and I want you to feel the same way when you know that what you're offering somebody, the service, the product, the, you know, the rise through the ranks, you know, the promotion or even in a relationship, when you know what you're offering comes from your heart and you know it can take their life to another level, then you need to bring the enthusiasm and the persuasion to the highest level possible. Listen, if you know fixing your relationship is better for your heart, for your spouse, for your kids, it's what's right. And not just what's right, it's what you want. You can go in and do a lot of different things and you can study and. But you go in with enthusiasm and you go in with that passion of knowing it's the best thing for everybody. Or you create a new course, or you create a new product, or you write a book or you should be the manager. When you know that that's a better solution for everyone, then you better ramp up the selling. You better ramp up the persuasion because you're not going to get it by being quiet and hope somebody notices you. That's the way it should be. But let's just face it, that's not the way it is. If you don't sell, if you fear selling, you're going to stay where you are. You know, so many times in life, people start a business and they'll obsess on what they deliver, what the product is, and they should. But once you get to a point where you know what you're offering is so amazing, it's the best, it changes lives, then your energy's got to be focused on sales and marketing. So I talked about, nothing happens without selling. Selling is not evil. Love what you are offering, no matter what that is. And if you don't love it to that nth degree, then fix it. Fix it. Now, here's where we flop a little bit. Here's where I want to really give you some insights that you might have read in my book. But now this is coming directly from me. It's one of the secrets to persuasion and that is letting people feel understood, not just having them understand you. Did you guys read that in the book? Probably got it. Maybe some of you went right by it, some of you got it and like, wow, that's not just a. That sounds pretty good. That's everything. I've watched it for years. I watch people come up on stage and somebody's got experience, they've written books, they're a guru or something like that. And they get on stage and they share with everybody how much they've accomplished and what they've done and what you could do. And that person usually gets off stage with a nice applause and they say, ah, that's a great guy. That's an awesome girl, man. She accomplished a lot. Really cool. And then there's someone else who would go on stage and they just talk and you watch. The audience's mannerisms are different. They're connected. They're like, wow. And when they're done, it's not just a they were good. It's like, wow, I can be better, I can do more. It's because that person made you feel understood. They didn't just say, you know, understand me. So the difference is kind of like the guy up on the hill or the girl up on the hill that's made it and say, come on up. It's great up here, you guys. You'll feel better once you're here. That's great. And you'd be inspired by the person on the hill or the person that gets down in the ditch with you and go, man, I live up there. But hey, I'm here with you. Let's get out of this ditch. Let's get up that hill. I'll help you. Let me give you a push. That's the difference between the two. Let me ask you something. You want to go get a new car and you get to the lot and you pull in, best dealer who's been there for 25 years comes up to you, he says, hey, how you doing? Just want to let you know, I've been here for 25 years. I know these cars inside now. Best cars on the planet. The new technology. Through the roof. Through the roof. The new technology. You know what I think? I think a two door, the new two door sport's got the wide wheels, super fast. Good gas mileage, but fast would fit you perfect, in fact. And he goes on and on and on. That person's still good. They've been there for 25 years. But what is that person doing? He wants to just be understood. I'm the guy been doing it. Great car, you need it, Mark. Now, he doesn't know anything about Mark. What if someone new came up, doesn't have the experience, and just simply walked up to you and said, hey, how you doing? What's your name? Mark. I'm Bob. How you doing? You looking for a car? Yeah, you know, let me ask, do you have a family? How many kids? Oh, is your wife. Is this for you or is it the family car? Hey, do you care about gas or do you care about just luxury? And all of a sudden he's asking and letting you talk. All of a sudden, Mark, you tell him, I don't know your life story, Mark, but if you have kids or you don't, or you're married or you're not, or you like sports cars or you like SUVs. That second salesman is letting you feel understood to share. Yeah, you know, gas mileage, I don't really care. What I want is something big enough. We have three kids and we're always got the friends and we got the baseball gear in the back. And I want this and I want that. And when he gets done, he goes, wow, I really understand Mark. If I think of all the vehicles we have, I think it'd be this model because the gas mileage is decent. It's a gorgeous looking vehicle, could fit your whole family. Your wife would love it. And today we can do something pretty special on that one. All of a sudden, bam. That's the guy. That's an art of persuasion that most people don't get. People go into the conference room, they get well prepared, like, I got all notes, I got everything I need. And they go in and say it's time. It's like hitting the buzzer and you're like, okay, this is what we have, this is what we're going to do. And I can do this and I can do that and I've been doing it forever and I'm the best and I can do that. And it's not even self loathing. It's not like you're self like flattering yourself or patting yourself on the back, I should say. It's just that you want to get out all the things you can do. I can raise the income for the company, I can do this or I deserve that position. And really, if you want to go in and close the deal, go in and listen and find out what people's fears are, what their desires are, what they think a win would be in a year from now. I go into meetings. I know for a fact people when I'm first in there, like, I thought this guy was smart. He hasn't said a word. It's because I used to go in and say, look at me, I'm accomplishing all this in my 20s. I can do this, I can do that, I can do this, I can do that. And I close a lot of the deals now. I go in and keep my mouth shut. And when I speak, I close every deal. I don't walk out of a boardroom of either walking away from the deal because I want to or closing it. And in most cases I just go in and I listen. I watch everybody talk, talk, talk, what they got, what they want. And then I'll just do some clarity questions and just say, hey, guys, I'm a little confused. If this was the best year of our lives because we worked together, it was. A year later, we're back here celebrating, and it was a great year. What does that look like in each one of your eyes? What are you afraid of? What do you hope to accomplish? All of a sudden, you start hearing their fears, their worries, and you're letting them feel understood. And then you take a moment, you go deeper on that, you look through their glasses, and I mean, look at here in the United States. It's so terrible. We got the left and the right because of the new president. It's like this craziness. And if people would just take five minutes. I'm not saying either one is right or wrong. What I'm saying is when people could take five minutes and just wear the glasses of the other person and see how there's a place in the middle to allow the other person at least to feel understood. Not to change your values, not to change your core beliefs, but just to allow the other person to feel understood. If we can make everybody else feel understood without even agreeing with them, we can make this world a better place. But we start with making the world a better place by you getting your message, your business, your new side hack, your new side hustle, your relationships, your rising up through the ranks, getting the promotion you deserve, if you will let people feel understood. It's a game changer again. I know I wrote about this in my book, some of this, but what happens when you want to get a promotion? I watch people. They'll try to prove how great they are, and they should work hard. You want to get the promotion, but you really want to get the promotion. Let the person who makes that decision feel understood. Feel their pain, feel their stress, feel their goals. You help support that, you'll go up as fast as you could ever imagine. And it's so simple. And the other thing to remember, this is something I tell myself all the time. Think about this, too. So many times we get engulfed in our story so we know what we're thinking, what we want. And we might not be where our prospects are. If you're starting a business, your prospects, the people that might be your clients someday, or maybe where you used to be. You solved this problem, and now you want to help people or a spouse or anywhere, any relationship you can think of. And we'll talk a lot of times on the conversation in our head. And I want you to think about Answering, finishing the sentences that are going on in other people's minds. Enter conversations going on in their head, not ours. Think about that. I know. As subtle as that sounds, I hope you're really grasping that. Because we are just. We're a world. Listen, we're coming. We've evolved to a place where people don't even listen anymore. They're just waiting for you to shut up so they can talk. You want to make a difference. You want someone to listen. You want someone to hear you Enter a conversation they're having, finish their sentences. I'm not talking about faking it, but live in their moments. For me, I've been blessed to have a great deal of success. But I know so many of you are thinking about a new business, thinking about real estate, thinking about another side, you know, hustle business that you want to do, or just wondering, should I stay in my job? I know what that feels like. But here's the thing. When I talk to you, when I'm here right now, what I'm doing, what I'm picturing is all of you. Those of you who have a great business with success and want to go that next level and scale, these strategies work. Those of you scared, not knowing where to start, these strategies work. I want to enter the conversation that's going on in your head. I want you to feel understood when I talk to you because I've been blessed to generate millions of dollars and fly all over the world and meet great people. My conversations are different that are going on in here of where I want to take my business, my company, what legacy I want to leave for my K, the dad I want to be. I don't want to come in here and talk about the millions I've made and how I'm mass producing my marketing and I have two CFOs and three assistants that wouldn't be a conversation that would fit. When I'm here right now, I'm living in the moment of how it felt for me. When I felt insecure, when I felt lonely, when I felt I wasn't going to get ahead, when I felt I wasn't tapping into my full potential, when I felt life was going to pass me by, when I felt like I wasn't getting what I deserve, I wasn't utilizing my talents. I know those feelings. They still live inside of me and I tap into. So I want to enter conversations you're having at every single level. And that's the same thing we need to do in any area of your life you want to Persuade. Once you sell yourself, our job is to persuade others in an ethical way. Listen, if you're selling drugs, if you're pushing gambling, if you're pushing cigarettes or stuff that hurts people, then selling's bad. But without persuasion, people don't take action. The reason you might have an iPhone, the reason you have a laptop or the certain car you have, all of it, is because of selling. And when you tap into it, that's where the biggest jump in your business and your life go to authenticity, enthusiasm, and persuasion. I don't know. I think I'd argue. And add in marketing, I think I'd argue that it is by far the biggest secrets to success. You know, we get confused and overwhelmed with all the different delivery systems. And if I start a business, do I go on Facebook and YouTube or do Twitter, do I do Instagram, or do I just start a brick and mortar business or do I work from home? We think of all those pieces and we get overwhelmed when really it boils down to some of the things that we're talking about right here, right today. That's where it starts. Okay, Next thing I want to talk about, let's talk about the difference between needing and wanting. When it comes to persuading what they want compared to what they need, let's just be honest. A lot of us, a lot of the country, a lot of the world, need to eat better. A lot of people need to stop eating sugar. A lot of people need to work on their relationships. A lot of people need to be more engaged parents. A lot of people need to stop being sucked into the digital world and waste hours and hours on stuff that doesn't fuel their heart. A lot of people need to get to the gym. Other people need to exercise. Just because they need to doesn't mean they're going to. You may need to do one of those things right now. As I said that, you're like, yipes, that was me. Sorry. You might need to, but you are not going to do it until you want to. Do what? Until you want to do it. So so many people will create a product, a service, or talk to a spouse. Talk to your boss. You talk to your boss. You need me to do this. He might need it. Doesn't mean he wants it. You might talk to your kids. You need to get off the iPhone so much, but if they don't want to, it's going to be really hard to do it. So what we do, when you're going in your own business or starting something new, you're like Everybody needs this. Everybody needs this new widget. They need this new pen that does xyz, but it doesn't mean it's going to sell until. Unless people want that pen or want what you provide. So I really want you to think about the difference between needing and wanting. And how do you overcome that in persuasion? Sometimes you got to tell people, you got to give people what they want or offer people what they want and actually give them what they need. So let's just say let's talk about kids. Just because it's something I work on at my house all the time. My kids on too much digital, too many iPads and stuff. I just. I want them to engage. We don't. We don't know electronics during dinner or when we go out. It's not their babysitter. We just decided that that's our. You could have completely different choices. That's a choice I made. And so if I said to a parent, did you ever tell a parent how to raise their kids? I never had, because I don't want to get my head chopped off, right? I don't want anybody telling me. And I'm not going to give anybody advice. And if they ask, I still tread lightly. Okay? But if someone was at a restaurant and they were friends and their kids were on the iPad the entire time and not talking and not paying attention, I could say, hey, you know, your kids really need to stop doing that. They would socialize more. I might get a backhand, or they might just pack up and leave what they need. But if I just happen to start a conversation and say, ma', am, all I know is that, you know what I want? I want it to be when I'm 95 and I'm about ready to close my eyes. I want to think about, did I do all I could to be a great dad? Did I do everything I could to empower my kids to just live a fulfilled life? I don't care if they're rich. I just want them to do what they're passionate about. I want them to live a fulfilled life, and I want them to experience gratitude for the smallest things. If I did that, I would be great, you know? And when I think about things like that, I try to think of the things now that could help them be more empowered. And I know being social is so huge. You know, in today's world with social media, kids are just. They're antisocial. They don't even realize it. And nothing happens without communication. Nothing happens without selling. And I think of one of the things that I think I could help my kids with is not let them get sucked into social media and the digital world so much so they communicate better. I think that would be one of the things. I want them to be more fulfilled, and I think I could do that. All of a sudden, that's a completely different conversation in their head. They're going, ooh, I want my kids to be good too. Maybe I should do that. Completely Same exact result. No, not the same result. Same thing you're asking them to do when you tell them they need it. But if you can find a way to let them know they want it, then all of a sudden you can break that barrier and get inside here and show them that there's a better path. So sometimes that selling them what they want, but giving them what they need, right? The importance of knowing that if you don't sell, if you don't let the world know what you are made of, no one will hear you. It's too loud out there. It's too loud in the email inbox, it's too loud on Facebook and all other online advertising. It's too loud on social media. It's too loud where you work. But you have an unfair advantage. You desire more and you're actually seeking out the wisdom. Most people just want more. They're driving in a car with a fast motor and they have no gps. They're just going fast. And even if they become an entrepreneur, as Dan Sullivan would say, he would call them a treadmill entrepreneur, they're going fast, but they're not going anyplace. You have an unfair advantage. You have me and the other capabilities you're seeking out. And I want to let you know, as busy as it is out there, if you can fine tune just a handful of these skills, if you can fine tune one, you can carve your niche out in real estate, in life, in happiness, in rising up through the ranks, in your business, in starting your real estate business finally, or taking your real estate company to five deals a month rather than one deal a month. All of that is available by grabbing the unfair advantages, grabbing the new capabilities, modeling those who are doing it at a high level and actually put it into play. Remember, knowledge alone is useless. Knowledge plus action. And I'd love to add one more thing. The right knowledge and the right capabilities. With massive action, there'll be no stopping you. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it and also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. You can always follow us on Instagram and If you don't already have millionaire success habits, you can grab it for free@deansfreebook.com Remember, all success starts here.