The Secret to Building Your Ideal Life From Scratch

Welcome to this very special edition of the Dean Graziosi show. In today's turbulent, uncertain, somewhat scary times, you need capabilities now more than ever. To thrive, to start the business, to be secure when things change. To balance being a mom, a dad, a husband, a wife, someone who wants to start the business or transcend or shift their career. How do you fit all this in? While simultaneously the inner self doubt is telling you this isn't the right time. You're an imposter. Well, I sat down with my dear friend Jenna Kutcher. If you don't know Jenna, this is an amazing young lady who by all outside world opinions was successful because she went to college and got a job. But one day she woke up in her cubicle with no window and said, this is not happiness, this is not success. I can't take it. She bought a camera off of Craigslist or eBay for $300 and started a wedding photography business. She ended up being one of the best wedding photographers in her state. But then she took it to a whole other level and entered the digital economy, the information age, and started teaching other women how to be in business, how to run successful wedding photography businesses, and how to go to another level. Now Jenna runs a seven figure information business. She has a vacation house in Hawaii, one up in the mountains on the lake. She works from home. She's an amazing mom, connected, an amazing wife. Their family is fantastic. Their business is thriving. So who better than Jenna and myself to sit down and deliver you capabilities? This was a very special five part series we were doing for another project, but because the world has shifted and because you need this information now, over the next few weeks, we're going to be releasing all of them. I suggest you don't miss a single word. You grab a notebook, grab a pen. Because the dynamic of man and woman, different generations from different backgrounds, but all with the same desire to serve, impact and have freedom and success for ourselves. Make these some of the best interviews of my life. Now, without further ado, let's get to the Jenna and Dean podcast series. Welcome to the Dean Graziosi Show. All success starts right here.

You know, I'm just staring around imagining what it would be like to work here. So if we end up here in one of the bedrooms, you won't even know we're here.

That's good. Your husband is downstairs working out. Yep. And then he's gonna go upstairs and play the show with my 10 year old. It's amazing.

Yeah, they're two peas in a bot.

They are they sat down. You had to yell at them, go check out our baby.

I'm like, please go watch a child so we can get to work.

All right, so you had some great questions for me. And like, I promised, I want to be as vulnerable as possible. That's been you since the start, and I love it. That's why we connected. Literally the first day we met, we connected. Even my fiance Lisa's like, that girl. There's something about it. Let's make sure we stay in contact with her. So it's been amazing. It's been a cool, easy, fun relationship. But I also love the impact that we can make together. So let me ask you for people that follow me and don't know who Jenna Kutcher is. Who's Jenna Kutcher?

Well, I'm 31 and I live in a very small town in Minnesota. And unlike you, I just have had this journey that's just very organically and slowly grown. Like, when I imagine my business, it's been brick by brick, just slowly over eight years. And so I went to school for business. I loved school. I was always an achiever. I'm a three on the Enneagram. Do you know the Enneagram? Oh, shoot. We gotta do it later.

Okay.

It's a personality type thing, and it's like this successful, like the one who wants to be out there. And so I was. I was achievement driven. I was an athlete my entire life. Went to college for diving, of all things, as a springboard diver all four years. And that's where I met Drew. And I imagined this life like my idea of success was a corner office, high heels, and coming home at night to a husband who had cooked dinner. Now my life right now looks a lot like that without the corner office and the high heels. But I always just had this idea that a woman who was successful, was buttoned up, was professional, did not show emotion, did not show weakness. And I feel like I've gone against all of that, and it's led me to where I am today. So today I'm a multiple seven figure business earner. I lead just communities of women. And my heart in all of this is to show women that they have power and how to step into that, to give women permission. And I hate that that even has to be a thing like that. Women need permission to do that. But I feel like these days, there's so many amazing, powerful men that we look up to that we see. And I feel like there's that relatable woman, like the mom who's at home taking care of the baby, but, like, crushing it. And, you know, the person who prioritizes time with their family but at the same time, like, earns these insane things. So, yeah, it's. I mean, I'm a mom, I'm a woman. I'm super driven, and I'm a big rester, which I know we'll talk about.

Yeah, Yeah. I was at Tony's Wealth Mastery this weekend and in Florida, and a girl comes running across stage like she had to get to me. Like, I was just walking around the back. She comes running. She goes, oh, my God, I'm a kbb. You know, she's like, because of Jenna. And she went on and bragged about you. She's like, jenna gets me. And I think that's one of the greatest compliments that people give you, but I want to give you is you have something that I just want. I have to share this before I ask more questions to you. Is our friend that you met just met Ethan Willis? Yeah. He's got a book that he's coming out with, and he's always had this term called humble power and how much he respects humble power. And that's what I feel with you. Like, you do amazing things. The impact you make on the world, on women, the voice that you have to show it through a lens of just authenticity, of, like, who you are. Like, this is who I am. This is how I'm doing it. This was a rough day. This was a great day. This would be this. Like, you do it in such a humble but powerful way that that's why you've made such a mark. That's why you're inspiring so well. And I really admire it, like, on a massive scale. So kudos to you. I love sitting here. So tell me what was. I'm going to ask you a question you asked me because I thought it was really powerful. What was a shift or a turning point where you were like, okay, no more this. Like, there's people listening right now that will. I was in a relationship. I talked about this before for five years where every day I thought about leaving. Right.

Yep.

There's people listening right now that are in a job or in a situation, let's just say situation, where they're thinking about it every day. And then there's all of a sudden there's this one day, and it doesn't even have to be this huge epiphany or breaking point. It could just be like you stop at a light and you go, no, I'm Done, I'm done. Or like one phone call or your boss just goes, hey, why are you three minutes late? And it's like, oh, it's it. Did you have a moment like that? Yes. To know or was it gradual?

I'm a planner, so I feel like there are two people. So there are the people that are like, jump and the net will appear, or build the net and then safely jump and land. And I was the second one. So I landed a corporate right out of college and I found myself in this windowless office. Not at all like my vision. And I remember we moved to this tiny village. It was legitimately a village of 1200 people. We were newly married right out of college, we had no money. And I found myself in this windowless office commuting an hour to and from work, working 10 hour days. And I was like, is this really it? Like, is this it? Is this the, like punch the time clock for the rest of my life? Both of my parents have worked the same job for like 30 years. And I was like, I cannot do this forever. Like, I felt like my soul was just being sucked out of me little by little. And it was just one of those things where I'm like, do we live and die by the time clock? Like, this is insane. And so for me, it was all unplanned. And I essentially bought a $300 camera on Craigslist just because I wanted nice photos. I've always valued photography. There's just something about it. To me, I was never a photographer, but I valued photography. About a $300 Nikon D40. Still remember the camera didn't even know what lens was on it. And I felt passion again. And I felt like I had gone from this place of just tuning out and just making it through each day to all of a sudden I was excited. I was taking pictures of cats and flowers and lakes and whatever. And I was like, wow, I'm insp. So for me, I knew I wanted to get out of the corporate thing, but I also knew that that would be met with a lot of resistance in the Midwest specifically. It's like if you get a salary and benefits, you are crazy to ever turn this away, especially to do something on your own. And so I bought this camera, I started just shooting everything. My brother and sister in law got married in Jamaica and they were like, bring your camera with. And I was like, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. And so Pinterest wasn't even around at the time. And I. All these Wedding vlogs. We were planning our own wedding, and I was like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do this. So I hung her. Her dress up in a palm tree, and I shot photos of her flip flops. And I was in it to win it. And that was when it all started. So it took me an entire year. But I said, if I can become a wedding photographer, if I can just fake it till I make it and I can match my salary, I'm out. And it took me one year to do that. I booked 25 weddings with no experience, and that was the start of it all.

Wow. So what gave you. So outside voices can be loud.

Yeah.

Right. I mean, it's true whether. Whether it's parents or peers or. So what gave you, like, did you have to break free from the outside voices? That probably also internalized. Right?

Yeah.

What gave you the courage? I mean, I guess you're a planner, but still. No, you can plan forever.

I mean, my parents asked me every question, and my mom has always said, you had an answer to every question.

Think.

I thought through everything because my fear of failure was so great. So I was like, if I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail hard. Like, I'm going to fail knowing that I gave it everything and I have a degree and I have experience, and, like, what does failure look like? And I think a lot of times we imagine failure is this huge, scary thing. But I actually sat down because I'm a planner and I wrote down, if this fails, if this wedding photography thing just falls flat, here's what I will do. I will update my resume. I will go to jobs proudly and say I tried to do my own thing and it didn't work, and I'll get a new job. That's not failure. That's just renavigating. And so when I. When I figured that out, I was like, this isn't that scary.

Like, so that's a really good lesson. So I'm always thinking through, like, metaphors.

Yeah.

You know, it's like, if you want to take the island. Right. How do you burn the boat?

Yes.

But that's scary to some people, even your personality. So maybe an additional thing to help somebody. And I was going to. I'm going to ask you that in a question is like, if you want to take the island, burn the boats. Just hide a dinghy around. Like, hide one boat safety raft. Like that. We're on safety raft around the corner. Right. So, like, most of the boats are gone. But if all else fails you could still escape, right? Because I would bet to say again, I don't care what age. You're listening, man, woman, what age where you live? Like, I think we're gonna cover the things that give you the real breakthroughs. That's why I love the thought of you and I doing this together. Our unique experience, collaboration. But somebody's not somebody. There's a lot of people listening right now that want to make a change. And they've been. You're a diver. They've been walking out to the end of the diving board. They look over and go, oh, you know, I'm just gonna go to the end. But they're not happy on the other end of it. So, like, what advice that especially because you have such a great community, your girls love you. I read your. I'm obsessed. I watch all your stuff now, which is really crazy because I barely follow anyone. But I love what you're doing.

Yeah.

What. What do you think? Some of the things to help somebody today make a decision. Even though we're just doing an interview before we get into our real training, this is just about us. Before we get into actual training. What's something you could give right now?

I just think that you have to ask yourself, like, what kind of life do you want today? Because I feel like so many people are basing decisions off of if then statements. If this happens, then this will happen. If then. But we're not ever letting the ifs actually happen. We're already planning the thens. And so what I think happens so often is that, like, that fear is setting in. And it's like, if I fail, then what? And we're not even taking that chance that if seriously. And so what I think happens is a lot of times we're waiting for permission granters. I know people like me and you like people will slide into my DMs, like, can you look at my blog? Just tell me I'm good enough. Like, if you're waiting for someone to tell you you're good enough to chase your dreams, you're going to wait for the rest of your life. No one can be your true permission grantor to say, yes, you can finally go for that. And I feel like the true successful people didn't wait. We went. And so if you're waking up multiple days in a row not happy, something's gotta change, right? And the only person that can change is you. And so I think it all falls back on what we're gonna talk about. And so much of it is like, self Growth and investing in yourself and. And acknowledging that you have something that only you have.

Yeah. So what is. What. Where are you at in your life right now? Business, Personal? You have an amazing little baby that's here right now. The cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. Where are you at right now, and where do you hope to go over the next year?

Yeah, I'm in a really interesting season, and so I've experienced a lot of growth and I think, honestly, a lot of confidence. Becoming a mom. I don't know what it is, but it is the most empowering experience. And especially we struggled for three years to finally become parents. And so I'm just reveling in this experience unlike anything else. And it's crazy to me because I've never had.

Yeah.

I've never had this measure of time like you do when you have a child. And it's like one month, Everything's different. And so for me, I feel like as I watch her grow and develop, I feel like I'm growing and developing. You might not be able to see it from the outside, but, man, it's happening. And so right now, I believe in myself more than I ever have. I believe in my capabilities. I believe that I have something unique to offer. But I also believe that if I really want to show women that they can have both things, they can have an amazing family, and they can have a career that I have to walk the walk. So I'm entering this season of balancing rest and work and rest and hustle and. And hustle and grace. And what does this look like? And how does it play out? And my slogan, and I hate slogans, but, like, my shtick is, like, imperfectly leading women because I don't have it all figured out. I'm figuring it out right alongside of you. We're in tandem. We're walking through this.

No, you're an experiment in real life.

Yes.

And it's unfolding now that you say that that's exactly who you are, but you're still falling forward. Right. Not to use another cliche, but you are.

It is.

Right?

It's like I'm. I'm not even a chapter ahead. I'm, like a page ahead. And it's like, here I am just showing up in this season, and I think my gift has been, like. It's like the movie Liar, Liar. I can't be inauthentic. I can't. It just feels so off to me. And when I don't feel in alignment, everything falls apart. And I Feel so in alignment right now. So it's kind of like the sky's limit. But also, we're limiting the sky right now so that I can, like, be with my family.

Yeah, for me. I know. And it wasn't the moment my kids were born. I just want to ask you if you had this. But there was a moment in time when I don't know if they were a month old or a year old that I realized that my kids aren't going to, like. And as they are older, you'll see they have, like, this BS meter. Like, sometimes I'll catch my kids, like, especially when they were little, like, looking at me, and I'm like. They're like. They're understanding who I am. And I just had this moment. And I'm sure a lot of parents have this, like, parents. Kids don't become who you tell them to be. They become who you are or a version of you. And it just made me step up, like, as a human, Like, I just wanted to be a better man. Like a better. A better, just human on this earth because they're watching nonstop. You wait till she looks at you. There's gonna be a way you're gonna do something. One day, you'll be at a store and you'll do something with a clerk, and you look at. And your daughter's just staring like, oh, my God. That's imprinted. Like, okay, I need to never be impatient again. If. If I don't believe that's a good thing.

Right.

And, yeah, like, I. I see you're on the perfect. You're on the perfect journey.

You're crazy.

You're on this great journey. It's only. It's only beginning.

Yeah, I do feel that way. And I feel like, you know, I've worked so hard for eight years, but I just feel like something's different.

Yeah.

And I don't. I don't.

Well, you could see your company. You got. You got something that I love to call quiet confidence.

Yeah. I don't.

Like, you don' a room and go, look, I'm here. But when you're in a room for a while, everybody's like, oh, look, that girl's. That girl's a badass.

Oh, yeah.

Really? True story.

I think people are going to get to see it unfold as we do, because I just don't know. And I kind of love that.

So let me ask you, so with us doing this together, what do you hope this leads to?

You know, what I love is you and I are like, the Odd couple, for sure, in the best way possible. And, like, the more that I get to know you, it's like, when I talk about you, I'm like, gosh, like, Dean is the best guy I know. Like, he mimics things that I want, and then he also shows me, like, what's possible. I just need to carve my own way out. And so what I think is incredible is that you and I, we have this, like, friendly banter debate. We do things differently, but we see things really similarly. I feel like the way that we view the world, the way that we view priorities and success and family, like that, super similar. So I'm excited because I just want to show people, one, that you can sit down with people that aren't the same as you, and that's how you really grow. And for me, that's been something that I've had to learn over time. Like, I don't need to sit down with people just like me. That's not going to challenge me. But two, like, success can look different. It can show up differently in your life. But at the end of the day, what I'm just excited about is for people to take what we say, take what serves them, leave the rest behind, and keep moving forward.

Yeah. And I love the fact that you and I are both to the point kind of people. Like, especially I've been obsessing on podcasts a lot more than ever. Especially my fiance loves podcasts. And I'll hear her say all the time, just get to the point. Like, she'll be on a podcast, she'll be like, I love this girl, but I just need her to get to the point. And when she listens to you, and she always tells me, she's like, when you guys talk, I get what you're trying to say. You say it, and then I know what to do in moments. So I think that's why we also get along so well, is cause I was like, okay, just get to it.

Well, we don't plan anything either. Which I need people to know is like, it was like, let's do this thing. And here we're just gonna have 10 topics, and we'll just talk about it. And I think it's refreshing in a world that is so scripted and so strategic and so planned is like, let's just talk.

Let's just do it.

So here we are. Welcome to our couch house.

Exactly. Let's do it.

All right.

Let's do it.

Dean Graziosi.

Hi.

If I were to skip out on Googling you okay. How would you describe yourself?

Oh, wow. Right to the point. Yeah, we're diving in. Aren't you supposed to. Isn't there supposed to be like some softening out?

No, we are going for it.

I would say describe myself. I would say someone who's evolving obsessively to be a better version of myself. And that sounds like a really like, ah, like, like foo foo kind of answer. But the thing is like, when I look back at myself, if I look back at the version of myself just two years ago, I'm like, oh God, I'm a little embarrassed, right? And I would say I'm someone that ran away, which most people watching, most people in the world, like, I just ran away from a place in my childhood that was uncomfortable. Right. Some people run in a bad direction. Some people run and end up in prison. Some people end up on drugs. Some people end up in a bad relationship, some people in a good relationship. I think I just ran as hard as I could away from lack of money, lack of security, lack of having like a stable childhood. My parents were married nine times each. I moved a lot as a kid and luckily, like, there's a lot of things you can get obsessed on. I luckily got obsessed on success because I could have chose a million different directions and I just always equated if I got money out of the way, then I wouldn't have to make dumb decisions that I thought my parents would make. I wouldn't have to move all the time. I wouldn't have to get evicted from places I wouldn't have to feel watch my mom struggle. I could retire my mom. So I'd love to say that I had this epiphany and success was perfect. It was just like I hated a situation, I thought money would solve it. And then I was able to solve that in my 20s. I became a millionaire in my 20s because of real estate and cars and hustling. And then I realized that the noise inside my head was still there. And then there was a certain time in my life where I realized I had to do both. Like, I wanted to still be successful. I wanted to retire my parents, which I did in my 20s. I wanted to do all these great things. I wanted to help other people, I wanted to help myself. I wanted to shift and create a new legacy while simultaneously I had to work on me. And it was probably in my twenties I started on this journey of self education. I listened to Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra. And I started being introduced to all these cool people, I'm like, wow. That they think completely different than how I was raised. Not that. And I don't want to be the person like knocking my parents, they did the absolute best they could. My parents worked their guts out and I, I know they thought they were doing what they could do best, but I was introduced to this new world. And in my, I think it was my late twenties, I decided I wanted to be in the self education business. I wanted to create a course. And back then there was zero Internet because it was 1998. There wasn't even AOL dial up. I don't think maybe it was. And so I shot an infomercial, created my first course, and I entered the self education industry. And along that journey, like, for me, like, if you want me to be completely transparent and no, you want me to lie. No, I'm kidding. But I love being in this business so much. Not only the incredible people we get to meet, we get to hang out with all these cool people. But I need this growth. If you want to learn French and you went to Paris for a month and had a teacher, you could probably learn it in that immersion. But if you come home and don't speak it for three months, it's gone. So personal growth and success strategies and all, whatever you want to name it. Even if I spent an entire, like, year, if I stopped, I know me personally, I fall back to the old version of me. So I like that. I do a video a day, two podcasts a week, interview great people. I have to write a new book every 12, 14 months of my life.

I'm tired just hearing right.

I travel all over, do live events, but the more I do that, the more it anchors in this better version of me. So I don't know if that was a really precise answer, but. But I'm blessed to live a really abundant, happy life. But man, it was the same path so many people take. I just had a couple good breaks along the way, I think.

So if I were to look at your career and your life from a bird's eye view, what are the events or the scenes that stick out to you the most?

Really good question, I would say realizing at a young age. My dad worked really hard, so did my mom, and neither one of them had two nickels to rub together. Both my parents right now don't have a dime in savings. I give them both a check every single week, right? So I realized in a young age, hard work didn't equate to success. And for my parents, it didn't equate to happiness either. So if they were, like, broke and full of abundance and happiness, that would be great, too. I wish that for my kids. I'd rather my kids be happy than the wealthy, but they didn't have either one. So I think that was a turning point. And then there was a point where I started saying, oh, those people are successful. And in my 20s, I had a whole bunch of friends in, like, their 70s and 80s. True story. Like Mark Miller, who was 83 years old and my best friends. And I got so much wisdom from him and then got into personal growth, like I said. But I would say one is real estate really helped me in my early 20s. I was just desperate enough to knock on enough doors. I started getting no money down deals, and I started leveraging that. And simultaneously, the economy turned. So sometimes it's perfect timing, sometimes it's luck. So I hit this groove when the economy turned. When I did my first infomercial, it was failing miserably. And then I had a few breakthroughs on shifting my perspective of how much I could sell to how I could help people more. As simple as that sounds. My sales went up exponentially. My. My infomercials that I was doing, I stopped using. I stopped using scripts, and I just started telling people what I felt and, like, not. And not a little bit of gain, like, exponentially, like, from a $10 million a year company to a $50 million a year company. When I threw my scripts away, when I just said, I don't have a vast vocabulary, I'm not going to use words I don't know. I'm not going to tell you, you're going to get rich overnight. I used to shake my book and go, hey, if you think money's coming out of this, it's not. You got to do the work. And then I just got on this kickoff. Like, the more transparent I was, the more the needle would move. Then from infomercials, I went into writing books. I wrote my first book. And my. The. I had dyslexia in school. I was in special ed. All that, you know, sounds like the infomercial story, but it's the truth. But when I say that, I say it now, it's so funny. When you say it now, it's like, yeah, I was in special ed, but I hated being in special ed. Like, I was in there with. I was probably the smartest of a bunch of challenged kids. I don't mean that disrespectfully, but I. A lot of times Put myself in that category. And the only thing I couldn't do was read because I had dyslexia and nobody diagnosed it. But it made me not want to be in school. I didn't take my SATs. I bailed at 10th grade, I just got out at 1. At 11th grade, I got out at 11. In 12th grade, I was out of school by 10, 15. I took the two classes I needed because I was just embarrassed, right? But then fast forward, years later, I write a book and I give it to an editor. And she said this was a turning point. The reason I'm going to answer this might be a little long answer to a short question, but I wrote the book. I was insecure about writing it in the first place, and I wrote it. I actually told the story. I didn't actually write a book, if that makes sense. And she read it and I was all excited to get her and she asked me to come to her office and I was excited to get her feedback. And she said, dean, you don't have a book. You have a 200 page story. You talked for 200 pages. You don't need an edit. You need to rewrite. Hire a professional writer. Honestly, you should just don't use this as a base, she told me, because it's not a book. And I went home and all those old feelings of high school came out. And I was like, screw it. I swear to you, I was literally like, I'm just gonna delete it. Why did I even think I could write a book? I don't know if you've never done this and nobody watching or listening ever had, but self torture. Just like, you're not who, you know, who do you think you are to try to write a book? But I shifted that perspective. I found a way to just go, the hell with it. I already wrote it. I'm just gonna put it out. And that book, all on its own hit the New York Times bestseller list in two weeks. And that was a big shift because people liked that I just told a story. It wasn't perfect. I broke every rule that was like, if you read how to write a book. And there was 20 rules. I broke all 20, like 20 out of 20. And that was another sh. Shift of like, wow, my message is stronger than my terrible grammar or lack of vocabulary or lack of, you know, the hook story call. It was just people were compelled to it. So that's when I think it was the final, like, screw everybody. Like, I'm not going to listen to anybody that. That's not living where I want to be.

It's crazy to me because when you hear about it, I feel like. And I want to know what you think about this, but I feel like most successful people have come out of hardship or brokenness or they're getting away from something that they've seen in their lives. Like, why do you think that is?

I think it's like a. It's like a trampoline. Right. I hate to use a silly analogy, but it's like a slingshot. If you pull back the slingshot a little, the rock just goes a little bit. You pull it all the way back. Sometimes you get to go a lot faster. But, you know, my kids aren't going to go through hardship. Like, we get to live in an amazing place. We, you know, we flew private all weekend all over the country. Like, I'm not saying it to brag. I'm saying that because I stress about that all the time. Like, I can't fake hardship. I can't tell them we can't afford the lights. I can't. They don't open the refrigerator and there's no food like when I was a kid. So I don't think. I don't think you need to have a tortured background to be successful in the future. But I do believe sometimes when you hear the Richard Bransons and Joel Osteen and. And John Paul DiGiorio, like, you hear a lot of their really hard times, and it was like that slingshot. But I think there's. I bet you there's just as many people that, you know, don't need to go through hell just to be successful.

I hope so. I hope so for the sake of everyone.

Yeah.

So what gets you out of bed in the morning? Because you have more energy than almost anyone I've ever met in my life. Like, I'm tired sometimes when I hear where you've been or what you're doing. What gets you out of bed?

What gets me out of bed? I think being, like, growing as a person and that sounds really deep. It's not that deep. Like, what got me out of bed 20 years ago was I wanted to make more money because money solves problems. When you worry about your parents, it's a worry. You cut a check for your parents, you don't worry about that anymore. You have debt, you cut a check, the debt goes away. You don't worry anymore. You want to be in a secure house, and you could buy the house for cash, you don't worry. So when people says. Say that money doesn't solve problems. It's bullshit, for lack of a better word. Excuse me for saying being frank, but it does. I don't worry about my parents. My grandmother, when she broke her hip, they wanted to put her in a really horrible nursing home. Like, I solved the problem by cutting a check and said no, we put her in the best place possible. I retired. I gave my mom extra money because she wanted to help. Like, it does solve problems. So I would Bet to say 20s, 30s, I probably got out of bed to keep solving problems with money. And then I started this evolution of being in the self education business. For me, I love the impact that I make. I love when I read a thousand comments that came in for the day of people's life being transformed and it's like, wow. I feel responsible to gain new knowledge, to affect more people, to touch more lives. And simultaneously, my company's growing. So I'm not just doing this for free, but I love the fact that I get to impact lives. And whether I program my brain or just through time of being an entrepreneur for 30 years, I'm obsessed with impact. That's like, hands down, it's what drives me. It gets me out of bed and I want to be a great example for my kids.

You're doing all the things. Walk me through what your company looks like today because we're going to be talking about this and I feel like it's important that people kind of understand what does Dean's office look like, his team look like his company? Like, what is it?

Yeah, great.

It's all over the place. Yeah.

Yeah. So no, there's a lot. Because what I've so oxfab. What I've been really good at for the last 20 years is creating strategic partnerships. I knew what I was good at. Maybe not 20 years ago, but I grew into knowing what I'm really good at and knowing what I'm not. I'll start with what I'm not good at. I'm not good at operations. I'm not good AT systems and KPIs Key performance indicators or standing operating procedures or hiring the right team. I tried that when I first launched 20 years ago and I messed it up. Royalty royally. Not royalty royally. And I found a way to say, okay, what I'm really good is I love impacting people and teaching. And I'm really good at just being authentic and selling so I can get people engaged. I believe selling is the greatest gift. You and I had such a deep conversation. If you know you're Positively impacting lives. If you're selling drugs, you're selling booze to people that shouldn't be drinking, like you're selling gambling to people who are addicted should go to hell, right? Like, but if you're selling to impact people's lives or provide them a good product, a good service or trimming trees outside, like that's a good thing. So when I realized they got really good at marketing and sales and they got really obsessed with delivering great value, just like we did with the knowledge business blueprint, massive value, sold really hard. I didn't like to do all the stuff in the middle. So what I found, I found a great way is there's a lot of really competent people that like processes and systems. So my company looked like for a long time and still does is strategic partnerships go in the live event business. I want to do the marketing to get people to show up and I want to teach them. But I don't want to run the hundreds of people it takes and logistics for what hotel and how many people and the lights and the sound and the camera. So I partnered with people and with my so picture, that is all the marketing, all the sales come out of my office of like 30 people. And all the education and the courses and the training come out of my office. But everything in the middle. In my live event company, there's probably 300 people that work on my brand every day in Utah with a strategic partner. I fly up there once a quarter. He runs all the day to day. I educate and I market and we've done over half a billion dollars in sales together. And I don't run the day to day but I have, I have a partner called, I have a company, I have a company called Growth and I'm partners with Brendan Burchard and Ethan Willis. Amazing company. Brendan and I do the marketing and we created the education and our partner Ethan runs the day to day. He's one of the best operations guys on the planet. One of the best humans I've ever met in my entire life. Right. Brendan's amazing too. That company is doing amazing. We've doubled the size of that company for every year for the last five years. It's going to double again now next year. So I do my part there and then I have my core team that manages all this, Right. And I do live events, I travel and personally do live events. And I own a couple hundred houses. I own a couple hundred real estate houses. So I have my real estate department that runs that. And then we have like the Knowledge, business blueprint that I'm partners with Tony and we're growing that out. So we just. I just bought a new building. We'll probably have a hundred extra employees over the next 120 days. It's growing so fast. One of the fastest growing companies I've ever created. But I got a great team. And one thing I'll just digress is what I realized after all these years of having employees, which I've had employees, I've never worked for anybody. I just did a podcast this morning. I realized I've never worked for anybody in my entire life. In high school, I've never had a 1099, not once. I never worked for anybody more than. Not even three minutes in my life.

That's crazy.

I've never worked for anybody. In high school, I caught firewood and I had all the kids on the football team that were bigger and stronger than me work for me. And then after high school, I used to buy wrecked cars and fix them up, and I had like five friends helping me fix wrecked cars. And then I bought wrecked houses and I had my friends work for me. So I've never worked for anybody. But what I realized in the last couple years, and I got some of my team members here, is my best employees have always been the ones with the same values as me. And if you find someone with the right values and the right, like, a player mindset will far outdo someone with the right pedigree, the right school, the right background, the right previous jobs, like, the resume means nothing to me anymore. And hiring based on values and culture has been unbelievable. And I have the best team in my life right now. We have probably 35 people in our main office, maybe 40 now heading to 150. Not that I'm not even scared. I love it if I'm not with my kids or my fiance. I love being at the office. So that's what my all. You know, a lot of the people on tv, I love them.

They're amazing. Okay, Layout for me are three biggest values.

Three biggest values. People have to be. People have to work on their own on their personal growth. They really do. Like, again, it's like that whole if you want to learn a different language, it's like going to the gym, right? You can't go to the gym for a weekend, work out like a mad woman, right? And then be in shape for the rest of your life, right? Like, you got to go to the gym all the time. As much as it sucks, right? The end result is if I Don't work on my personal growth. I fall backwards. And I know that with people on my team, it doesn't mean I dislike them. It just doesn't mean. It means that I don't want to spend a lot of time with them. Yeah. And I also realize that people don't work on their personal growth. It's a lot of times it's a person on team that, like, I'll avoid walking by their office door because if they stop and want to talk to me, I'm like, oh, my God, she wants to talk to me. Or he wants to talk to me. I'm like, what are they missing? It's like working on their personal growth. As simple as this one sounds is I love people that work on solutions. We all have problems. We all have our crap. Everything goes wrong for all of us all the time. I mean, the bigger problems we solve, the more success we get to have, right? And everyone knows that. I don't think there's a person listening or watching that goes, oh, Dean just taught me this lesson. Work on solutions. Everybody knows it, but most people don't. People want to spend time figuring out why this person did that. Why would they say that? Why would they do it? Why would they let that go? Why would they drop the ball? Who cares why it happened? I'm really blessed. Three of them are sitting in this room. I'm really blessed to have an entire team there. Like, when stuff goes sideways, they figure it out. And I have to tell you, there's three levels to that. Just on a personal note, there's like, there's somebody that you hire that will tell you everything that's wrong with your company. Listen, I'm glad I'm here because your social media. Oh, my God, your girl Cindy, you think she's good? She's not, right? Then there's another one that'll tell you what's wrong, and then they'll tell you how to fix it, right? So Cindy, she's not so good, but here's what I think. She should take this and do this. And I used to think that person was good, and they're not, because they're still identifying and telling you. The third person. That's what I hope to find all the time, is a person that identifies it and fixes it and never even tells you either one of them. They just found it, they fixed it, and they're not even coming to go. Look what I did. They just did it. And that's like, that's such a must in my company.

I Love that last question. Tell me a little bit about your family, because you're kind of at a pivotal point right now. As a former wedding photographer, I'm obsessed with all things wedding.

Yeah.

So walk me through what's going on in your world right now.

So I am engaged. I'm getting married in two months to love of my life, hands down, greatest woman on the planet. But I say that while simultaneously knowing that maybe I wasn't ready prior to this to receive and give love at the level I am now. And, you know, I have two children from a previous marriage, and she's a great lady and we're friends and everybody gets along well, but I realized it was flawed from day one. And I don't mean that with disrespect. If she was sitting right here, I'd say nothing different and she would agree. We ended up getting pregnant, and she came from a dysfunctional childhood. So was I. And we were like, we're not gonna mess this up. Let's. Let's raise great children. And we did. I have two of the greatest children in the world. They're 10 and 12. And I thought about, if you want me to be personal, you tell me if I'm going too deep. But I thought about leaving a relationship every day for five years, tried for five years, and we both knew it wouldn't work. And we're both so afraid of hurting our kids that we just stayed. And one day when I told her it wasn't like, I want out, and she's like, please don't. She's like, I know it's time. And I had so much worry and anxiety that I'd screw up my kids. I was just revisiting. I was just thinking their childhood was going to be mine, but it wasn't the case. And I'm not an advocate of divorce in any way, but we both put our focus on a child centered divorce. And we accepted nothing else but them to feel safe and secure and know that their parents still loved each other as friends, but decided not to be with each other. And I faced my biggest fear was leaving. Because I'm an engaged dad. I cook breakfast every day, Sunday meetings, I coach little league, I coach softball. It's summer vacation. I'm going to work home the entire summer so I could be here when the kids are with me. So I overcame that fear. And I guess the best thing I could say is I faced what scared me more than any one thing in the history of the world, is not being there three days or four days. A week wake up and my kids aren't in my house. It was, like, first time in my life I had anxiety. I faced it. And on the other side of facing my biggest fear, my kids are thriving more than ever. My ex is in a great space, and I manifested the relationship that I wanted my whole life. I literally made a list of what was unacceptable in a relationship and what was a must. And I said, I'll stay single for the rest of my life unless I have this. And I found that woman, and it's unbelievable. Yeah, I can't wait. We're getting married August 22, in Lake Como, Italy. And sounds. We're gonna have babies. I'm 50. I'm gonna go in. She wants five more, but I got her down to three.

We can't let her see Conley because then she's gonna be. This is a problem.

Five more. I'm like, I don't want to be 90 at Little League, babe.

Oh, God.

But now it's. I'm in a really great space. And again, and I made horrible mistakes. Not that that disclaims it, but I wasn't. There was a lot to be desired in relationships prior, and fortunately, this doesn't make me brilliant. I just was really obvious on what worked, and I want to do more of that, and I'm really obvious of what didn't work. I'm doing less of it. Like, not rocket science. And it's been magical, amazing.

So what do you hope people get out of this? Whatever this is that we're doing?

Yeah. Yeah. Here's what I think. I think the dynamic of the two of us, it's crazy, but it engulfs or encapsulates everyone that exists on the planet. Like, if you just want to go to another level of life and learn from. I've been an entrepreneur for 30 years. If you look at our core desire, make impact, take care of our family, on another level, we're the same, but everything around us is different, from our age gap to gender, to where you come from. Where I come from my experience, like, everything's different. So I believe, like, this will be the place anyone can come, men, women of any age, that if they're in business, want to start a business, they're crushing it. Want to go to another level, they're going through a tough patch in their life. I don't think there's anything between the two of us that we haven't experienced. And we get to look through different eyeglasses. Like, you could throw the same exact problem on the table. We both have the same desire to serve, but your approach could be different than mine and vice versa. I don't think there's anything this unique that exists on the planet. I'm ready and I will be more, which you've been telling me this since I met you. But we get. And our team keeps on. We get more like, I'm gonna be more transparent and open here and more vulnerable than any place I've ever been. Even you could tell. This conversation we're having now, I don't like, I feel like I'm always on. I can't like. Cause I'm always on the move. I was like, go, go, go. I land, okay, go on the stage. Soon as you get off the end. Like, I'm doing a meeting from the stage to the car, and then someone jumps on a plane with me and I have a meeting with them in the plane. When I land, there's another person waiting for a meeting. So I'm always on. So a lot of times when I go on video, I realize I'm like, ah, man, I was too on. Like I was polished, right? Like, hey, everybody, this is Dean Graziosi, right? And I promised myself when we talked about this that this will be the place that. And it'll mature as it goes. But this is the place where I want to be the most vulnerable. Because the more vulnerable I can become, the more people I can help.

I'm ready. Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. Let's do this.

Let's do this. That's a wrap.

I had to jump back in here in the end. First off, to say, isn't Jenna awesome or what? And remember, what you learned today was from two people who've been there, who've been scared, who failed, and have also succeeded on levels we once only dreamed of. So take the notes and implement these strategies in your life. Remember, take what serves you. Throw the rest away. Also, if you don't already have a copy of my brand new book, the Underdog Advantage, I didn't know this time in history was coming, but this book was written for today's time. Learn how to take your disadvantages. Learn how to take lack of resources and create resourcefulness on a whole nother level. Learn why the most successful people throughout time were underdogs. So right now, if you go to deansbook.com, you can grab a copy of the Underdog Advantage and see how to turn those so called disadvantages that you have personally or because of today's times, and turn them into your superpower. This book is pure Fire. I bought several thousand copies. They're in my warehouse and I want to send you a copy for free. Free means I paid for the book. You cover the shipping and handling. Go to deansbook.com right now. Fill in your address so we know where to ship it, cover the shipping and handling and see why the world is going crazy over the underdog Advantage. Yes, I'm a multiple New York Times Best Selling authority, but this is my best book ever. Thanks so much for being a part of the Dean Graziosi Show. The next episode will be pure fire, so tell your friends, make sure you leave us a message and if you love this episode, remember we do this for free. So share it with friends, share it with family, Take a screenshot and post it on your ig. This is how we get our message out to the world to deliver capabilities when people need it the most. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it and also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. Remember, all success starts here.