Understanding the Other Person's Perspective Will Radically Increase Your Success
11 Jan 2019 · 10 min
A short podcast/transcript by Dean Graziosi (Millionaire Success Habits) about using empathy to improve relationships and personal success. Graziosi advises spending a week intentionally trying to understand someone who drains or challenges you, and contrasts ‘battery chargers’ (people who energize you) with ‘battery drainers’ (people who deplete you), urging listeners to set boundaries and surround themselves with supportive people.
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When people feel understood, they open up to understanding you more. With all the opportunities that exist today, why haven't you reached your next level of income, life and wealth? In most cases, we've been lied to. We've been told that if you find the right opportunity and you work hard, you can be successful. And that's simply not true. Millionaires, billionaires, and successful people have realized you need the foundation for wealth, the habits. And that's exactly what you'll be learning on the Millionaire Success Habits podcast. All success starts here. Just a big question here for you this morning. Is there anyone in your life that when you spend time with, you just don't feel good about yourself? You get done and you feel drained. You feel like you gave so much, but nothing came back, or you felt like all your ideas were pointless or worthless, or you felt bad about yourself? Just in general, do you have anyone in your life that when you spend time with, you just feel drained? You feel bad about yourself? You give up on your dreams, you give up on your thoughts. You feel to yourself, you know, I must be a dreamer, or maybe I'm wrong. So I want to. I want to talk about that here this morning. There's really two big things we can do, you know, first off, let's. Let's talk about the one of some people you can't let go out of your life. It could be a husband, a wife, a friend, a lover, a companion, a mom, a dad. Your kids may be in some way. So what do you do? Well, first thing, we're not all perfect. We all mess things up, right? It doesn't mean that we are the person that's just perfect. And when everybody's around us, we lift them up, and then everybody brings us down, right? So here's what I'd like you to think about this week. How can you understand. Think about now. Right now, you're thinking about someone in your life that does that to you, that makes you feel or question who you are. Maybe not even bad, but just makes you question. You guys know what we're talking about? You know exactly what I'm talking about, right? And what I want you to think about this week, if that person needs to be in your life, is what if you spent this entire week figured out how to understand them more instead of trying to get them to understand you or your goals or your dreams or the love you want, the passion you want, the money you want to make, the intimacy you want instead of them understanding you. What if you just sacrificed for the week and you Understood them more, understood where they were coming from, understood their fears, understood their worries, understand what they were trying to communicate. Even if you don't agree with any of it. If you are, you know, if you're a hardcore liberal Democrat and you have a friend that's a hardcore Republican and you just tried, you nuts. Or vice versa. What if this week you just tried to understand them and look through their glasses and look through the way they think and have compassion for how they feel, whether right, wrong or otherwise. That will not change things overnight. But when you start understanding how, when people feel understood, they open up to understanding you more. You know, I've watched people fight fears. I've watched husbands and wives. And you guys know this. It might be in your home or your friends, you know, that, that, that husband and wife relationship where they're both trying to be understood so loud and they make it such a point, it's. It's like almost uncomfortable being around them. And they could go 20 or 30, 30 years of trying to make each other understand them. Like, I, I just understand me, I'm right and don't understand me. What if one of you just took a deep breath and maybe you know somebody in your life that needs this message? So tag them below and push this message to them or just share it on your page. But what if you just took a week of your life, a week out of all the time we get to be. What if you just took a week and let that person feel understood all week long of their lives, like just everything they do, just really think and go, let me see how I could look through those glasses. Let me see how they feel. That way you don't know their past, their history, or the things that happened to them. You have a friend that's just horrible about your relationship. Maybe they got burned so bad in their relationship that the pain is still there. And maybe just a week of letting them feel understood, you can help cure them for life. And you guys could have more of a bond. So this week, let other people in your life who make you feel bad about you. Give them this. Give them this gift of letting them feel understood, even if you totally disagree. Really want you to think about this because I've watched this ruin people for years or live this complacent, sad life. So secondly, now let's talk about the people that shouldn't be in our lives. The people when your phone rings. What's up, Jim Crowley? The people when your phone rings or you get a text and you look at the phone and you Go or I have to go. I need to go. I should go. What? I want to just give you permission for one week. Your life. And maybe I'm a little too harsh. I get that. But. But where I'm at in my life, if someone isn't. And I stole this from my buddy Joe Polish. There's two types of people in life. There's battery drainers and there's battery chargers. And a lot of people in this world are battery drainers. When you're with them, you feel like. Like you vomited up your spirit, you vomited up your goals, you vomited up your passion. They took it from you and they left. And you're left there with your battery empty. We have them. And I have to tell you again, I might be a little harsh here, but I have to let people go in my life that drain my batteries, that don't fill me up. And if people don't align with those thoughts of me, I have to let them go. And I don't feel bad about it. Listen, I'm not the best. Sometimes I don't call my mom as much as I should. And I love her to death, and I make mistakes. That's not deliberate. Certain family members isn't deliberate, but. And certain friends who I love dearly. Sometimes I'm too busy. I forget to call them, because here's what I know. You know what I'm passionate about? I'm passionate about growing as a human being every single day of my life because I know I'm not perfect and I want more. Secondly, I'm passionate about being a good family man and the best dad I could be. I want to be. I want to lay my head down when I'm 95 years old and say to myself, I did everything I could to empower my kids to have a fulfilled life. And I love training and teaching and giving back to you. My live events, the books that I write, the things that I do. Millionaire Success Habits, my latest book. I spent painstaking hours on every sentence in that book. That's me. That's what I love. Helping provide others and caring and joy and abundance. I love being the best dad I could possibly be. I read a parenting book at least once a month. I've interviewed 20 parents that I think are the most amazing parents in the world, and I robbed their strategies. And I love growing as a human being. So when I. If I have friends or people in my life that empower that. That want to bring me up, that listen to my dreams and I listen to theirs, and I understand them, they understand me. I feel empowered when I'm around them. I'm happy when I'm around them. I want those people in my life. But if you don't, if you're going to stomp on my dreams, you're going to poo poo on my thoughts and next level visions, if you're not going to support me or the, the man I want to be and the dad and all that, then I don't need you in my life. Listen, you give people permission to on you, for lack of a better word. I'm not trying to be rude, not all of you. And, and that's blunt and to the point, but you do hit the likes. If you know what the heck I'm talking about, don't allow it. You, you wouldn't allow that to happen. I was talking last week about the million dollar racehorse. But would you allow someone to treat your. If you have animals, would you allow anybody to treat your animals bad? Would you allow anybody to come in and be mean and rude? Would you allow anybody to take away your kids, dreams, your parents, your people you love? If you have nieces or nephews or anyone in your life you love, would you allow anybody to make them feel bad about themselves and take away their passion and their heart? Hell no, you would not. So why the heck do you let someone do it to you? I say this is the week you make a stand. I say this is the week you make a change in your life. This is the week you decide who deserves to get you and then also decide if you're being the friend you need to be. And are you listening the way you need to listen. So the two lessons I want to share this week is certain people in your life aren't going anywhere. So this week, give them a break. Let them feel understood. Don't make it about you, make it about them. Watch how that relationship changes. Secondly, start seeing who needs to go listen. There's people in your life that are blood relatives that you keep in for some reason out of guilt. You think that's the way society is supposed to do it, the way you need to, the hell with that. If they bring you down, if they hurt you, if they don't bring you up, if they don't charge your battery, figure a way around it. Do they deserve to be in your life? Do they deserve your love? Do they deserve to have you there? Some people just need to dump on other people and they do it without realizing the circumstances and the repercussions it has on you. You deserve more. Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Listen, just by being here today, just by watching this, whether it's live or replay or whenever you're watching, this shows me what kind of person you are. You want to grow as a human being. Not all the world wants that. Probably maybe 5% of the world is trying to grow. Who's in? Personal development, personal growth, wanting to make more money, trying something new like real estate, going to that next level. The rest of the world just kind of gets complacent. And that's okay. Even complacent's okay. If you have a friend that doesn't kind of supports you but doesn't bring you down, that's not bad. But if there's someone in your life that robs your battery juice, robs your energy, stops you from dreaming, then let them go. Do what you got to do. You deserve more. If you liked this podcast, make sure you rate it. And also make sure to click subscribe so you never miss out. You can always follow us on Instagram. And if you don't already have millionaire success habits, you can grab it for free at Dean's Free Book. Com. Remember, all success starts here.
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