Derek Cole shares five lessons he wishes he'd known at 18: friendships drift within 4-9 years and that's normal, your own thoughts cause more harm than reality, social media shows highlights not truth, passion matters more than stuff, and protecting your mental health sometimes means disappointing people.
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Hey, everyone, Derek Cole here with the Derek Cole Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Today is going to be quite different than usual. We usually talk about, you know, home comfort, heating, air conditioning. But today I want to talk about a post I did Sunday, which kind of revolved around something. Something different, something different than what I usually do. It was the five things I wish I knew at 18. Five things I wish I knew at 18. So this is completely different podcast, but I wanted to record the audio with this because this post has gotten so many likes, so many shares. I think it's really resonated with a lot of folks, and I want to share it with you in this. In this form of audio. So, you know, to start with my post, you know, five things I wish I knew at 18, I show a picture of myself from my high school yearbook in 1999, when I was 18. So the things I Wish I Knew when I was 18. Most of your friends today will disappear in four to nine years. Hang around people who fit your future, not your past. So it's kind of a. It's kind of a hard thing to. To lose the people you grew up with, went to school with, being a teenager with. And some of those folks, a lot of folks end up leaving, going somewhere else, going off to college, and, you know, you might not see them again. It's something that really, you don't give too much thought to, especially in high school. You got your own, you know, things going on. You don't give thought to these friends and moving on. But it's something that kind of hits you one day, hit you in the, in the future where you're like, wow, where is so and so? I haven't seen them since anywhere so and so. I haven't seen them since then, since high school, since, you know, whenever that last time was. So to kind of frame that or to have someone frame that for you, you know, most of your friends today in high school will disappear in four to nine years. So you want to make new friends, you want to make, you know, new colleagues and people you go to school within college or work with. And it's. It's good to know that's okay. You know, you don't have to be with the people, hang around the same group you hung around with in middle school and high school, and that's fine. You find the people that are going to fit your future and not your past. 99% of the harm is done in your head by your thoughts. 1% of the harm is caused by reality. The Problem is never the problem. The way you think about the problem is the actual issue. This is something I've struggled with for a long time. You're beating in my own head or my own thoughts of what I said or what I did. And it's gonna lead to this and that and this and you know, usually that doesn't happen. 99% of the harm is done in your thoughts. So that's something I wish I knew. Even if I knew that, you know, I still might struggle with that piece a little bit. But get out of your own head, you know, get out of your own head with your thoughts because most of the time it's not going to be the worst case scenario. Nobody is as perfect as Instagram makes them look, and nobody is as pretty as filters to make them seem. The only comparison you should ever make is you today versus you yesterday. It's so easy with this social media and, you know, people posting things on Facebook, Instagram, and of course you have those thoughts of, you know, that looks like fun. I can't believe they're doing that. What's going on with that? And you're comparing, you know, their, you comparing their highlight reel to your everyday. And that can be very dangerous because they are real people just like you, with their own set of problems, their own set of challenges. And it can be really easy to start comparing yourself to others, but the only person you should compare yourself to is yourself yesterday. The goal is to get 1% better every day, to be a better person than than what you were yesterday, to keep improving, keep moving the needle for you in your life, not to compare yourself to someone else. The ticket to the good life isn't found, is never found in worldly, earthly, material things. If you want to live a good life, find a word that aligns with their passion where you also have time in the location for freedom. I am very blessed to be in the industry and be in a job. Hopefully y' all have seen it over these. It's episode 341 now of the podcast. Hopefully y' all have seen. I have a tremendous, tremendous passion for heating and air conditioning, home comfort, indoor air quality, all these things that affect our lives. I have a passion for teaching it, teaching with clients, teaching even with co workers, even with their team, with technician service install. I enjoy tremendously talking to homeowners, talking to clients about how they can improve their indoor air at home, whether it be comfort wise or air quality wise, breathing better air in their homes. So find something you're passionate about. Don't get caught up again. We're going back to social media, Facebook, Instagram. Don't get so caught up in the material things of the world and find out what's inside you, what you are passionate about. So I've been really blessed to be in this field of heating and air, which I am extremely passionate about because there's not a day I don't enjoy teaching either client or a co worker or learning about better things I can do better myself. If taking care of yourself means disappointing someone to do it, your mental state is more important than any career, any money or people's opinion of you, of of you or your family. Taking care of yourself is very important and this has been a struggle for me as far as knowing when to say no, saying saying yes to to make people happy or you know, stretching myself to make someone happy or do something someone has asked. That can be any number of things, but something I wish I knew. Don't be worried about disappointing someone if you need a break. Your mental state is more important than anyone's opinion of you or your family. Your mental state is important. So take care of yourself. I hope you enjoyed this. The five things I wish I knew when I was 18 hopefully gives you some more insight if you saw that post. If you haven't, go back, check it out. Check out my instagram @derek mcole. Check out the grid. It will be a few posts ago really a spin. It's been amazing how many folks have shared it and liked it and hopefully got you. Hopefully got you to stop and think about it for a little while. But we'll be back to regular schedule on episode 342. But thank you so much for listening.
