25: ReLaunch with Hilary DeCesare

Welcome to my podcast called you'd Must Be out of youf Mind. My name is Dr. Don Wood. Everyone has experienced some trauma at times during their life. These traumatic events and experiences create a significant impact on how your mind works on a day to day basis. At the same time creates long term effects on your emotional and physical health. It will interfere with your ability to stay present and in the moment. After years of research, I used my knowledge of neuroscience to create what I call a memory reset. This memory reset reduces and eliminates the impact of the trauma and allows you to experience peace and clarity. My podcast will share many stories of people experiencing similar symptoms to you and how their lives have been positively impacted.

By our TIP program.

I can't wait to share with you how the impossible is possible and why you must be out of your mind. And there it is.

Well, welcome to another episode of youf Must Be out of youf Mind. My name is Don woods, and as you know, I always bring on these great guests who have so much to share. And I have another amazing guest today that I know you're gonna get so much from. Her name is Hillary Cesar and she has a company called the Relaunch Company. So welcome, Hilary, to the you Must Be out of youf Mind podcast.

Oh, what a pleasure. And we've had such a good conversation already. I can only imagine where this is going.

I know we should have recorded the.

Actually, that was a good conversation. You're right, we should have recorded it. But, you know, we'll. We'll tap into some of that now.

Yeah, perfect. Well, that's why I was so excited to meet with you, because you, I know, are an amazing mentor coach to women, right, who have such amazing potential and sometimes it's just difficult to reach that potential. So tell me what the Relaunch Company does and what you're doing to help women.

So I think, you know, if you really net it out, what we're trying to help women with, especially what I call in the mid zone, and Brene Brown said it so beautifully, middle age is 35 until you're dead. Because these days things have changed so much, right? People are starting new professions and careers and really trying to tap into their passion and purpose. And how do we, you know, as a sandwich generation, where we've got, you know, parents and kids and everyone's, everyone's taking from us, but no, nobody's actually allowing us to really give that nourishment to our own selves. So what relaunch does is we, we really help women through Transitions to transformations. And what that means is no matter what kind of relaunch you're going through, and it can be personal, professional, or it could be relationships, any of these globally, there's relaunches happening, you will be in a position to thrive and survive through it and feel and feel like you've really leveled up. Like, you know what, this is where I'm supposed to be now. You're no longer feeling out of touch, you're no longer tuning out, but you're able to tune in.

Well, I love that because you've been so successful, you have this tremendous success. So you've got all the credibility in the world. I'm sure when you sit down and, and help these ladies, you know, to be able to see that potential because so many of them are struggling with. They just don't know what to do. So without somebody like you. Right, they could have all the talent in the world, but if they don't know how to direct it, you know, and I'm a big sports guy, so I always think of it as sports. You can take the greatest athlete in the world, but if they're not trained properly or they don't know how to do it, they're just not going to succeed. So I'm sure you see a lot of people with potential but not capitalizing on it. Is that a typical thing that you.

See, Dr. Dahn, that is so spot on when we, when we end up, you know, it's interesting because I always believe that there's this bigger, you know, bigger source outside of ourselves, that somehow you hear something, you get connected with somebody, that it's like the perfect time, it's right. Oh my gosh. You're exactly what I needed to hear right now. And for so many people, what happens is we think we should be at a certain level in our life, a certain revenue in our business, a certain relationship level. And when we're not there, we then think of ourselves as failures. Right. I thought I would have this at this point in my life. I thought I'd be here, I thought I would be able to do that. And what I really like to do is I look at it from a very holistic point. And it's interesting because my background is so not looking at it. I mean, I was in the Silicon Valley 10 years working at a high tech company, boys club. I mean, it was not about like, you know, anything, but just get your revenue in, get the job done, and then go home. And really they didn't even want us to go home. We could sleep under the desk was not viewed as anything negative. But where things are going now is that people are waking up, and they're waking up to this very unsettled area within them. They're waking up, and they're feeling more stressed out than they ever have been. They're feeling like, you know, there's. They're either not fulfilled, they're overwhelmed, they're feeling scattered. And I noticed within myself that, you know, the only. The only way that you could deal with this was to suppress it. Like, that's not. You can't do that. You know, there's no time for that. I often laugh when I hear people say, you know, hillary, am I having a midlife crisis? And I say, first off, as a woman, we don't have time for that. Are you kidding me? We would put that so over there on the, you know, the to do list that we haven't seen, it's like, no, no, we'll get to that later. But I explained that, actually what's happening to so many of us, including myself, was that we were going or going through what I call a midlife identity. It's an identity crisis that we're having. And it's not just this midlife. It's, again, expectations where we thought we would be are not mapping to where we are in our life today. And bottom line is, we got to think, who was the one who set up those expectations in the first place?

Because when you do that and you realize that your company is not scaling the way you want it to, or you realize that, you know, there's other things that you really want to be able to come into your life. I often say, hey, what is your lifestyle of success? What does that actually really look like? What are you going for? What do you want? What do you want? Not what did your parents want for you or what did your siblings want for you or what did your friends, but what do you really want? And it is this time where women are waking up to the fact that, you know what? I can make this happen.

I can do this. But then there's that whole problem of, like, okay, I want to do it, but how do I do it? Who can help me do this and make it super easy and make it fit into our time schedule well.

And that's what I love about what you've done. So I look at you as. You're like the Navy SEAL that's coming in to train troops because you were in Silicon Valley, like you said in the boys club, right? So you got Beat up. Right. You had to play with the big boys, the tough guys, the Navy SEALs of Silicon Valley. That's not an easy place for anybody. And yet I'm sure there were even more challenges coming in as a woman. Right. At that. So is that what you sort of saw and experienced in terms of, you know, your experience in that area?

I definitely have the battle scars. But here's what I want to say is that, you know, there's. There's this philosophy that as you think about in the 60s, 70s, 80s, you. You know, everything was about IQ, right? How smart are you? How quickly can you make decisions? And as a woman, a mid z own woman I was brought up with, that's the area like, you know, you need to elevate yourself. You need to know more than the next person. You need to really, you know, embrace that part of it. Well, then in the 90s, EQ became this big thing, right? How emotionally connected are you with other people? Then Sheryl Sandberg, who was the former COO of Facebook Meta Share, she ended up coming out with Lean In. And my God, I leaned in. I mean, if there was an opportunity to sit at the table, to sit in the boardroom, to do any of that, I was the first one to throw, you know, to throw my name in the hat. But the problem was there was a huge disconnect between as a woman and especially a woman that is a mom with three kids. And at that point, I was married to my first husband. I was trying to juggle it all, and I did. I felt like a failure. I called it corporate guilt at that point where I felt guilty when I was home, I felt guilty when I was at my office, and I couldn't really do anything right. And so you talk about self sabotage, you talk about beating myself up. I realized at this point I had to change. There had to be something that I could lean into. Not the Lean in model. And I came up with 3 HQ.

Yeah, I saw that. Tell me about that. That sounds like. I love that.

Well, the H's stand for Head, Heart, higher self. So when I started to look at my life and I ended up going through a divorce, and here I am, a young mom with three young kids, and I'm trying to raise money for one of my companies. And, you know, I felt like at that point, I raised almost 10 million for one of my entrepreneurial ven adventures. And I was just always feeling scattered. I was always feeling, like, disconnected. And so I started to realize that there must be a connection between getting out of My own head and tapping into the heart, which is the head heart. And once I was able to start to understand, the head has your thoughts. And those could be positive and they could be negative. I call them, you know, the limiting beliefs, but I call them bugs. Your beliefs, underground surfacing. And those negative, negative bugs keep us in this circle, in this, like, vortex of you can't seem to move forward. And so also in the head are your identity around where you are right now, who you are right now. Oh, I can never do that. I've never been able to do that. Oh, my mom and dad never did that. And so a lot of what happens in our head holds us back. But then there's this heart and we always hear about like, you know, oh, the emotions. Well, you know this better than anyone. You've got those emotional blocks. And so not only do we have the negative thoughts that beat us up, but we also have emotional blocks that beat us up. And we go back and it's like a ping pong game, right? You got your thoughts and then you got your emotions. And I mean, this is exhausting. And I was exhausted. And so when I realized that I am, like, I can control my I am statements. I am, these are my thoughts, this is what I am. And I could start to tap into what actually makes me feel good. When do I, when am I at my best? When do I. When you're in your heart. And there were times where I, you know, on stages these days, a lot of people are like, love yourself, love your life. Love, love, love, love, love. Well, I couldn't even think about love. In fact, I couldn't even think about, like, I had such deep hate, such deep discontent within where I was myself, that I couldn't, I couldn't jump, I couldn't cross the chasm, as Jeffrey Moore, you know, talks about in his book. I had to create a system where you could go from that discontent, that sabotage, to liking where you are, to them loving where you are. And when you can do that with your head in your heart, that's when you can tap in to your higher self, that best version of you. When your energy is at a higher level, you attract that higher level result.

That object. And so that's where 3HQ stems from.

I love that. Well, it is one of the things that I talk about. This is where I think we've got a lot of opportunities to work together. Because what I talk about is a lot of times trauma, unresolved trauma, is also having an effect on just all the things that you were talking about. And the way I explain it, this is sort of an interesting way. As I say, it's impossible for our brains to sabotage themselves trying to protect you from pain.

Wow, that is such a great way to say it. It's protecting you.

Yeah. So people say, well, why did I.

What you're saying then? Self sabotage. And I say as well is that it's actually key keeping you safe.

Exactly. It's trying to protect you because it's anticipating you're going to have pain. It looks like sabotage.

Right.

Actually a diversion to protect you.

I completely. We are so in line there.

Yeah. And so what I always talk about is anytime you have an emotion, the purpose of an emotion is a call for an action. Your mind is actually trying to get you into some sort of an action. And so the purpose of fear is to escape a threat. Purpose of anger is to attack a threat. So think about something that happened to you 10 years ago and you're feeling your heart pounding in your chest. That's a glitch. Your mind is trying to call you into an action that isn't possible. It's over, it doesn't exist. But your mind will keep calling for the action. Because your subconscious mind operates in the present. It sees trauma in real time, activates your nervous system. I also never use the word trigger. As I say, trigger, negative and violent. And I don't believe our minds are trying to be negative and violent. They're actually activating into a response to protect you, but they're dealing with faulty information, old data that they think is still happening. So that's what we do in our program is we reset it. So we take that old traumatic memory, reset it. And the way I explain it is like this, Hillary, if I asked you what you ate for dinner last night, can you tell me what you ate for dinner?

Yes. Sushi. Sushi.

So when I asked you that, you saw pictures, right? Of what you ate?

Actually, yes.

That's how you store the information about dinner last night. No animal can do that, only humans do that. Or explicit memory about events and experiences. Now last night wasn't threatening or disturbing, so it's stored as a fairly routine file. Had that been a traumatic event, your mind would have recorded that in high resolution because all your senses, sight, smell, hearing are intensified. You're in a very high beta brainwave state in a traumatic situation. So now it's recording it in high depth. So if that happened 10 years ago and your mind recalls that information, it sees the high def memory in real time, activates the nervous system because it thinks something's happening now and that's what people are living with. And so they're being taught to live and manage and cope with it.

Are you tired of dealing with stress, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, even feeling broken? Have traumatic events and experiences in your life created post traumatic stress for you? Perhaps you're an athlete, an executive, trying to reach that next level of performance. Well, there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing wrong with your mind. Your mind is dealing with some glitches and error messages as a result of these traumatic events or disturbing events earlier in your life. It's interfering with your ability to stay present because the memory keeps on looping, activating your nervous system. I've helped thousands of people deal with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, feeling that sense of brokenness. We can clear that in as little as 4 hours. Check out our website inspiredperformanceinstitute.com and check out some of the stories and testimonials. Some of these may relate to what you've experienced in your life and we look forward to helping you reach your next level of performance. And there it is.

So people can still be high performing executives, CEOs. Right. But if they have that undercurrent of trauma running, that's going to interfere with identity, it's going to interfere with a whole bunch of different things. And what you're doing is exactly what we do. The same thing is to say you have a higher, better purpose. Let's get you to your highest level of who you truly are. Because somebody comes in and they'll say, I have anxiety. I say, no you don't. That's a symptom, right? You don't have it. You're not an anxious person. Why is your mind anxious, depressed? And I say depression is not a dysfunction of the brain, it's a function of the brain. It's trying to protect you from something. So it's shutting down. When you resolve what the call to the action is, the depression will live. It's just trying to get you into an action.

Well, Dr. Dunn, I wish I had known you when I was writing my book Relaunch. Because there is an entire section around trauma, around what it does both internally with all of the dis ease that's associated with it, the inflammation and absolutely, I think what you, the way you described the self sabotage and, and really anything that you feel is kind of a negative for you and I talk about this often with relaunch is that no matter what kind of relaunches people have had, no matter what kind of traumas, however they describe it, there's always the silver lining to it. And I think I've interviewed probably about 150 people now for my podcast, and I ask them whether it's on on camera or off. I'll say, if you could, would you go back and change what happened to you? And not one has said, yeah, I would. Because where they are today, how they've grown, how they've advanced, humans are right? We're. We're evolving every single day. I mean, they say, you know, I love, you know, if you're not. If you're not growing, you're dying, right? I mean, it's. We have to. That's part of who we are. It's part of what makes a human being, is that. That growth. And as you're saying, and, you know, we're phrasing it differently, in our process, you go a lot deeper into that side of it. I look at it from, I want to help people, that ultimately, you know, there's three main core limiting beliefs that most of our limiting beliefs all I'll kind of funnel into. And it's the I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not lovable, and I'm not safe.

Right.

And when I can go through the process with them, and I actually have a fast process that I can share with you that is instantaneous. People can do this on their own, awesome throughout the day. And then I've got the longer one that really helps break down and synaptically prune the, you know, the limiting belief. So it's gone. You can see it in scans, just literally break away. But the one that I like to really give people is this, you know, pocket approach, and it's called tunein. And so can I take you through Tunein?

I'd love to. Yeah.

I'm putting. I'm putting the doctor on the spot here. Okay.

I love it.

So, again, this is a way to increase and elevate your energy. This is a way when you're not able to, you know, you're about to go start working on a marketing, or you're going into a meeting or you're going on stage, or you're going into a big, you know, presentation of some sort. You can literally do this right before, and it takes a minute to two minutes, and it gets you into that state, higher state, so that you can attract what you are elevated in your own energy to bring, right? Like attracts like. And so step one of tune in and there's only four steps. Step one is I want you to tune in to a challenge that you have or something that's. That is going to be happening to you where you want a higher level of excellence or maybe you can't figure out something. Is there a challenge in your. In your work, in your. In your life right now that you're like, yeah, it's a challenge. It's kind of like, you know, I'm definitely processing and trying to figure out how to move forward.

Yeah, I've got one. Does it have to be business or personal? Doesn't matter.

It can be anything. It can be anything.

Okay, so it's. I'm a golf. I love golf. Right. But I play as much golf as I want.

Right.

Got the. The club championship coming up. So the question is, can I actually. Do I want to get out there and do that right. If I'm not getting enough practice, so.

Okay. Okay. So perfect. So this is that whole idea. You're going to be playing in a golf tournament. You haven't put in enough time, hours to perfect your game at the level that you think you should be at if you're playing in the club championship. And so what we're gonna do is that. Is your step one, you're just tuning into. Yeah, I got this thing. It's weighing on me. Step two is an. Is a time where you get to change the channel from where you are right now, and we're gonna elevate you. And Einstein said you can't solve a problem at the level it was created. And now I'm going to explain what that really means. So I want you to think of a song that lights you up, that when you think of it, you're elevated, your mood elevates. Is there a song that you just love?

The first one that came to mind was Eye of the Tiger, but then also, We Are the Champions. I still love that song. I'm a hockey guy, so I'm originally from Canada.

Those are both so good. Which one, really, which one right now do you want to tune into?

I think probably Eye of the Tiger is more appropriate. Right.

Okay. So I want. So I want you to shut your eyes, and I want you to hear Eye of the Tiger, and I want you to bring it into every cell in your body, and I want you to start moving around because we're changing your state, we're elevating your energy as you sit and listen to Eye of the Tiger. Okay, you do this for about 20 seconds. And are you tapping your Feet, are you moving your body? Make sure that you're doing all of this. Okay, so now I am going to ask you with your eyes closed. Step three, what does the vision of you playing in that club championship, what does that look like? Explain that to me.

Keep my eyes closed.

Yep.

It's basically just staying within myself, not trying to. You know, I'm a big believer in. In staying regulated when you play, and I generally do. My only concern right now is because I'm not hitting enough golf balls that.

Oh, this is your vision. This is how good you're going to be. It's not what you're not doing. I want you to tune back into Eye of the Tiger and I want you to keep seeing yourself. Literally visualize yourself, you know, hitting that ball, hitting that drive, hitting that putt in from that 20ft away. It's just like locked and loaded. You are there. So now you can open up your eyes. And this is step number four. Step number four is again, tune in. Tune into the song again. And I ask you, what is the one thing you could do today? One action to increase momentum, to get to that place of your vision. What is one thing that you will commit to today?

I know for the championship, I haven't signed up yet.

Oh, so what could you do today?

That's what I'm saying. I can sign up.

You could sign up. So that's what I want you to do as soon as we're off this, because what you're doing then is that then you can tune back in and say, what's next? What's next? And so this is something the tune in process allows you to first understand that, yeah, we've all got challenges or we've got situations that we need to elevate our game to. Step two, change the channel. We need to take a song, allow it to really embody us so that we're elevating our energy. And what I've just done is I've taken you from the head, the challenge, to that higher self, that energy level. And then back in step three to saying, what is that vision? What does it feel like? What does it look like? And that's that heart. And then last is the head circling back to the. You know, what is that one step? And what is so amazing about 3HQ, which is what you've just now captured, is that you can do this again at any time during the day when you need that infusion of being completely centered within yourself.

I love it. It's very good because again, it makes that yeah, it's all using the tools you already have. You just have to use them.

And it's a super simple process and I can't tell you the results. I mean, it is incredible. People have done this right before they go on stage and they've never had such high marks. They've used it before negotiations and they're like, oh my gosh, I never imagined I was going to be able to get this out of it. It's just, it's such a great easy process to use and the more you use it, the better you're going to get. And it's just going to. It takes less and less time. And then you realize, oh my gosh, I'm doing, you know, not just like double what I used to do, but you're now 10xing what you used to do. You're really moving through it. And it's a great, by the way, it's a great process because you're like eye of the tiger. You're in it, you're in that place.

Yeah. Well, the great part about it is what you're doing is keeping them present, right. So that the mind doesn't start to wander off and start thinking about what happens if I don't. Maybe what happens if this goes wrong. Right. Like I said, I work with golfers, you know, and it's very easy for them to get in their own head and start thinking about the putt they miss, you know. So to me, sports is such a great teacher. You know what I've learned? One of the best lessons I ever got, Hillary, was when I was younger, hockey was my number one sport. Tennis was my second sport. The guy who taught me when I was about 13, 14, the lesson he gave me, which was the best one ever, he said, you really want to be a great tennis player, right? And I said, yeah. And so he looks around to make sure no one's listening. He says, okay, I'm going to tell you the secret. And at 13, you think there's a secret, right? So I said, what's the secret? And he goes, lose a lot. And I said, what do you mean lose a lot? He says, you're playing in the 13, 14 year old division. You can win in that division. I want you playing against the 15, 16 year olds and 17, 18 year olds. You're going to lose a lot. He says, but you've never seen the speed at that level before. But you're a good athlete and you will catch up. He says, but you can't do that unless you see It. But you're going to have to be willing to lose a lot to get to that next level. I mean, that was a great lesson for life.

Dr. Don that is huge.

Yeah. And I Learned that at 13.

I love that story. And I'm a tennis player, too, so I think that, you know what, that is so accurate. That's great. I love that.

Yep.

I'll share that one out as well. Letting people.

And so, and again, it was that not being afraid, like, again, your ego gets in the way. It's like, well, I don't want to go and lose. Right. But if you understand what the purpose of the loss is. Right. And you're actually having to go. And that's the only way to learn at that level because they're bigger and they're faster, they're stronger. Right. So even I think what, even you going into Silicon Valley, that had to be one of those situations. You had to take a lot of bumps and losses. Right. But you had to hang in. I'm sure they tried to get you to quit a number of times.

You know, it was interesting you just said that because there is, there was a time where I was having twins and I ended up going out on maternity leave. And at that point, they gave us like six weeks. And I got a call about a week after my babies were born, and it was from my vice president, and he said, hey, I got to tell you, I'm really excited to let you know that we've just put in a new manager that you'll be reporting to because this other person is getting another promotion. And I sat there and I thought, huh, that's interesting. I didn't even know that there was going to be an opportunity. And he said, well, Hillary, you just had babies. I mean, you have two. My gosh, there's no way that you would ever want this position. And I said, really? Did you ask me? Yeah, actually, I would like to go for the position. And this is that. Then this is a lean in, bad story because I leaned in. And then I ended up going all the way. I had five different interviews. I ended up getting the job. And they had to remove the other person that was already given the job. He then had to report to me and became one of my managers. And it was, it was one of the worst experiences I ever had with this whole, like, you know, I went for it. And my point here is this, that just because you can doesn't mean you should.

And great lesson.

And that was, that was something that I really try to instill in everybody that I work with that, you know, we can go for things, we can get them, but is it what we really want?

Almost to the point sometimes where we think, well, I was wrong that I'm going to make this right. And sometimes it's better just to let it go. You know, we've all had those experiences. I can think of a few in my life where it was like, yeah, but what happened to me was wrong. And I'm gonna, you know, set it right justice. I wouldn't be better just to have said, just suck it up. Yeah, and take, take the loss. Right. And move on. Never get that. So, yeah, just like you're talking about there. So true.

Well, and I also, I think when we really start to think about it goes back to my comment. I said, you know, you got to start with what do you really want? What's the lifestyle of success? What is that? And that's the best place to start. Because when you start to realize, you know, hey, I, I lost all freedom when I took that job. I mean, you talk about, I was leaving before my babies were up. I was coming home when they were asleep. It was terrible. But I was so in my own head that I hadn't really looked at what is the lifestyle, success. What is that lifestyle that I really want that will make me tap into my heart, heart, heart. Be able to level up to that higher self and really find. My book is relaunched. Spark your heart to ignite your life, and it's really spark your passion to ignite your purpose. And we have to realize that we do have to kind of take some time to reflect because life goes so fast. We're so in the moment, but we're in the moment of, like, what's next? What's next? What's next, you know, like, versus being in that moment of what, what do I really want? What does freedom really look like to me? What does, you know, happiness really look like to me? And when you answer those, those are two of the biggest questions, right? And then all of a sudden you can say, all right, so this is why I want what my ultimate goals or what I'm, you know, my results that I'm going for, how they really relate to me being a 3HQ person.

And I love the tools because similar to what we do as well now, you're going to love what we're doing. There's so much synergy between it. It's the same kind of thing, giving them the tools that help them to stay focused. Because I always. The way I sort of explain it is when we get into a stress situation, we don't think at our best. And without those tools to fall back on, I always use the analogy, you know, have you ever been at a mall and you run into somebody, you can't remember their name, and then the more you try to remember their name, it just doesn't come. And then as soon as they walk away, you go, george. How could I not remember George's name under stress? So by what you're doing is giving them those tools. And what we do as well, when they get under stress, they have a system to go back to that allows it to be easier because then they can go into that flow because they don't have to start overthinking. I. I equate it to. It's a comedian on stage who gets heckled. He already has a thousand comebacks. He's practiced it or she's practiced it. So it looks like it's just off the top of their head, but it's not. But if they didn't have those prepared in advance, they would stumble and they get stressed out, and then they wouldn't be able to think properly. So what you're doing is brilliant. Just giving them the tools to be able to come back into the present and sort of recalibrate well.

And even to that point and taking it one step further. In today's world, we have global relaunches, which are the war, the pandemic, We've got financial crisis, all of these different things that are happening. Then we've got business relaunch. We've got people that are quiet quitting. We've got people that are trying to really figure out, like, hey, you know, I'm in the mid zone and I'm ready to do something new. I'm done with this part of my career, my life. I've got companies that are scaling. I've got, you know, all these different ways that people are relaunching. And then you've got your personal ones, people that are moving from state to state, as we discussed. There's, you know, people that are getting divorced, people that are trying to get out there and have, you know, never been more lonely and trying to make that next step. So never in our history have we had three massive relaunches in every category hitting us, hitting each and every one of us that we have. And it's like we can't get away from them. Right. Right when we're okay, Whew, I got through that. Then another relaunch hits you then another something hits you, and we can't get in the stress level that you're talking about. That stress with cortisol, it actually, you know, it. People who are trying to diet, it's really interesting what happens with stress. Stress actually makes you increase your weight. There are things that happen that we need to be aware of this. And as you said, if we have the tools that we can fall back on another relaunch, that's going to happen. And unfortunately, life is filled with relaunches. That's what it is, right? We're going to have the ultimate relaunch when we finally are passing and we leave this planet. But for right now, we need to be able to survive another day and be able to move forward in the direction to enjoy whatever we can of our life as we know it. And so it's super important to have the tools to say that this relaunch is not going. And I've had, you know, somebody asked me once, you know, how many significant relaunches do you think you've had? And I said, I, wow. And I counted 36. Massive. Some would have to, you know, huge ones. And I'm like, okay, I now understand why I'm considered the relaunch queen. But, God, I don't need anymore.

I got it. Just let me help others, please. And so that's where you do need. You do need the tools that you know life's going to happen. And this allows you, with your tools, with our tools, to get through it, to get through this situation and be stronger for the next.

Yeah. Because without those, like I said, you get into the stressful situations and you just don't think your best, and then you may not make the best decision. But without someone, like, what you're teaching them is how to do it right, and you've got the battle scars to prove, Right. Like I said, you're like the Navy seal, and you listen to the Navy SEAL and they tell you, hey, I've done it, right? I've gotten knocked down a number of times, but I now know how to do it better. Right? And then that, that makes all the difference in the world. And we do the same thing with the trauma side of it, is let's reset the trauma. It's just interfering with the performance level. There's nothing wrong with you. Right. It's just the way our brains work. And when I did the research, I realized that trauma is compromising our immune system, our neurotransmitters. And so people are getting sicker because Their immune system is compromised and they're feeling bad because their neurotransmitters are compromised. And so all they do is teach them to manage and live and cope with it, saying is we can eliminate it, why do we want to live with it? Right? So if you've got anxiety, you've got depression, you've got all those different things, your brain's not doing it for no reason, it's got a purpose to it. And what's the, what's the root issue if we get to. So I had a lady come in, she spent 15 minutes describing all of these things that happened to her in her life. And so when she finished, I said to her, I said, do you have anything else to share? And she looks at me, she goes, well, that was a lot, don't you think? And I said, oh yeah, it was a lot. I said, however, for the last 15 minutes, I've learned a lot about what happened to you, but I haven't learned anything about you yet. Talking about you, that's not who you are, that's just what happened to you, right? And so that's interfering with you feeling that center, that centered state and that trauma continues to loop, which, exactly what you talked about earlier, it drains energy. It actually affects the mitochondria, the ATP release in the cells. And when you resolve that, you release more energy. And then, then all of a sudden people are more attracted to you. They don't know why, they can't put their finger on it. I had a young lady who came in and be on heroin for seven years and when she came in, she said, she sat down with me and she said, I, I told my therapist I was coming to see you and that I have to be honest and upfront and let you know I have self destructive behavior. And I smiled at her and I said, really? What would make you think you're self destructive? And she looks at me and she says, well, I'm sticking a needle in my arm with heroin. Don't you think that's self destructive? I said, no, I don't. I think you're trying to feel better. I bet you when you stuck a needle in your arm, you felt better. I said, now the substance you're using is distracting, but you're not distracted.

That's a great way to say it.

Yeah. And I said, so the only reason you needed the heroin is that the only resource that you could find that stopped the pain. I said, what if I could show you a way better resource? You have a far better resource within you right, you have more neurochemicals within you than you could ever inject. You just haven't had access to them. I'm going to show you how to access them. And I says, and you can. We're going to eliminate the trauma first, because that's what's created the pain. And I said, addiction is not a disease. It's a code. Your brain has learned how to stop the pain. And you repeated it enough times, your brain built a code for you that wasn't trying to hurt you. It was trying to help you. I said, so let's reset a new code after we stop what started the pain, which is the trauma. And she got completely clean. We got a lot of people out of addiction just with that model.

That is just incredible. And I love what you're doing. My gosh. I mean, you know, there are so many people that are, as you said, you know, kind of in this spiral. This, you know, gosh, you just, you know, you keep going back, especially around addiction. And my goodness. I mean, heroin or alcohol or forms of drugs, any type of addiction, what you're saying is just. Exactly. And it is the trauma that is not being released, and it does stifle your energy. It keeps you at a low vibrational level. And then you wonder, why can't. Why isn't this happening? Why can't I have. Why doesn't anything good, you know, ever come my way? Because you're operating at a level like tuning forks. A tuning fork is not going to start to tune to a regular kitchen fork work.

Right.

Has to be energy.

Yeah.

At the same level.

And that's why people who are in addiction attract each other, because they have such low energy. Right. Higher energy are not going to feel attracted to that. Interesting enough, that's one of the things that she said to me. It was months later, she says, people say to me, like, what are you doing different? Did you cut your hair? Did you change? Like, what are you doing? And she says, and then people that I never knew work at the company I work with are talking to me. And she goes, like, what is that all about? And I said, your energy change. They don't know why. They feel safe approaching me before they didn't, and they couldn't tell you why. So once you get that out of the way, your energy, you just vibrate at a whole new level, and that becomes more attractive to people.

And so I have just figured out what we are going to call our joint course together. It's going to be the view because literally that's what happens. I've had so many clients say, oh my gosh, people are asking me, you know, I look younger, like, what have I done? What, you know, what am I, am I doing something with Botox or things like that? No, it's all emanating from within. It's that when you're at that amazing level within, people want to be with you, they want to be surrounded by you. They want like anything that you're offering, they want. So yeah, it is, it is the secret to the fountain of youth. You can tap into it right now using your program, your tools, using the tune in. I mean it's just it unfortunately that's not, especially with, you know, middle aged people. That's not what we were ever taught. We were very much, you know, just being the head, be around iq, deliver, deliver, hit that, you know, revenue goal or hit that or you're not successful or you're not good enough. And things have changed, we're changing, becoming, you know, we have all these incredible resources within us. Intuition. We could go talk for hours on that one that, you know, when I worked at Oracle, if I ever said, you know, something about, you know, well, I just was like intuitively it just happened, which I have a very heightened level of intuition. And I remember pressing it, just pushing it down because it was almost like, you know, what's wrong with you? Like what? Like, that's so weird.

Right?

You're so weird. And then now I say, who knew woo could be so good for you? Let's enhance your intuition. That's part of 3HQ. It's part of a big part of the, you know, what I teach is, I mean, let's tap into it and let's literally turn up the volume.

Sure. So no, so I'm excited about this because I think we really can change people's lives and give them the understanding that they have the tools within them, they always have and they just don't know how to access them. So we can give them the tools now to be able to access that. And it's life changing.

I'm really big on. Yes, I'm a coach. I've been doing this for over two decades helping people. But here's what I really want for people. I don't want them to be dependent on me, I want them to be dependent on themselves. So I try to make what I give them as easy as possible so that they can go do this to for themselves. They can blast their bugs, they can tune in at any moment. I just help them understand that these tools are within them. And my gosh, once you. Once you know them, it's like that whole awareness thing. Once you're aware, you can't. You can't let it go. You can't forget it, because it's too darn powerful.

I worked with a gentleman, Marco Chiseto. And Marco is a double amputee. He's a marathon runner from Kenya. In a suicide attempt, he lost both his legs below the knees. So they had to teach him how to walk again with prosthetics. And then they built him blades to start running marathons. And they contacted me and said, the guy makes the prosthetics for all the Boston Marathon bombing survivors and all that. He plays at my golf course. So he called me up and he says, do you think you could work with Martell? He's plateaued. He's not. No matter how much training he's doing, he's not improving. We think it's in his mind. And he says, I know you can probably help him. Marco came in to see me in February of 2019. I took him through our program, and nine days later, he runs in a race and takes 15 seconds per mile off his time, which was a lot. And then he ran in the Boston Marathon In April of 2019, a few weeks later, and broke the world record. So now the world record holder. Two months later, he runs in the Chicago Marathon, breaks his own world record by five minutes, and gets signed by Nike.

And I've got chills right now. I just have to tell you, you talk about, like, my energy is off the charts. Just hearing your stories, this is such. It's so incredible. And the best part is that everybody listening can have it happen for them.

So what I said to Marco is. I said, marco, I didn't make you a faster runner. You're always that fast. You just didn't have access, right, to that extra power that was running the trauma loop. There was nothing wrong with you. It's just the way your mind works. It's trying to protect you. That's why it runs the trauma loop. It thinks something's still happening. Once we resolve that, then that energy frees up, could run faster, right? There's no way, when I have guys in two or three days be able to do things like that. There's no way anything different happened in their training. It all came from the mind. It's. It's the most powerful tool we have.

The most powerful tool, and it's right there, and it's just readily available, and we ignore it and our minds and.

Bodies are designed to heal. So what interfering with the healing. For my daughter, it was the trauma. So in an active state. Right. Of inflammation, because as far as her mind was concerned, the trauma was still happening now, and it needed this energy to fight. And so when that happens, it does less maintenance. I had this idyllic childhood, so I played hockey in Canada. I never had any trauma. I never got picked on like I live. And my parents were never argued, never raised their voice. So I'm living in this peaceful home with my nervous system staying regulated. I never got sick. I. 60 stitches in my head, six concussions from hockey. Never missed a hockey game. I've lived in Florida 30 years. Never been to a doctor once. Not coming from just genetics, that's coming from the environment I grew up in. I always got maximum maintenance done. And if the trauma is running, that's why we see so many people with autoimmune issues, is because the system is running, trying to fix it, and then that's going to have an effect on our health. Not going to do maintenance. Chased by a lion. Where's the energy going to the power right to your legs, right to your arms, to be able to run faster. Right. How much, you know, digestion and all the stuff that the system is normally doing, it doesn't do.

So that's so great.

Yeah. Well, this is exciting. So I'm really looking forward to having you go through the program and then we can maybe talk about it on yours and then come up with a program to help a lot of people between what you're doing or we're doing. I think.

I think that this is going to be such a power. We're going to look back on this and say, you remember that conversation when I was on your show? This is how we change, massively change lives. I mean, this is, you know, and I. And I do love that our approaches are so.

They're cohesive where we really can. We can bring these together. So everyone listening. We. You're going to be hearing from us.

Yeah, for sure. Well, thank you so much for spending the time and we'll continue to, you know, communicate and get back and forth and figure out how we take this to the next level.

I thank you. This has been. I've loved the stories as well, so this has been a great hour of our time because I just had such a great time. Thank you.

Thank you. And thank you, everybody, for listening to another episode of you must be out of your mind. And there it is.