41: Emotions Guide Healing Process with Randy Lyman

Welcome to my podcast called you Must be Out of youf Mind. My name is Dr. Don Wood. Everyone has experienced some trauma at times during their life. These traumatic events and experiences create a significant impact on how your mind works on a day to day basis. At the same time creates long term effects on your emotional and physical health.

It will interfere with your ability to.

Stay present and in the moment. After years of research, I used my knowledge of neuroscience to create what I call a memory reset. This memory reset reduces and eliminates the impact of the trauma and allows you to experience peace and clarity. My podcast will share many stories of people experiencing similar symptoms to you and how their lives have been positively impacted.

By our TIP program.

I can't wait to share with you how the impossible is possible and why you must be out of your mind. And there it is.

Welcome to another episode of you must be out of your mind. And as you know, I always bring on amazing guests that have so much insight and sharing of what they do and how it ties in with what we do. And today we got Randy Lyman, who's another amazing leader in his field and what he's doing to transform people's lives. So welcome to you must be out of your mind. Randy.

John, thank you for having me on. This is going to be a lot of fun.

It is. We were just talking real quickly about how the world is really starting to change. I think we're going to see amazing transformational change in this country and probably around the world. So what you think about it?

I think that the underlying current, people who understand the power of good, whether, whether it's religion, spirit, God, just doing being good to ourselves and our neighbors and understanding the power of love that is growing, that is a huge movement. It's like an underground movement and not everybody's talking to each other. But I talked to so many people at the hardware store or the grocery store or just on the street and start asking a few questions and they open up and they say, yeah, I believe that there is something bigger than us and I believe it is worthwhile to be a good person and good do good things and, and the world can work when we ourselves put out the effort.

I agree. And there was so much anger and animosity and hatred going on that I don't think that's in our human nature. So I think people were hoping that this goes the way they think it can go, where we start communicating again and connecting again.

I'm going to respectfully disagree with you. It may not be in our human nature to be good necessarily. But it is definitely in our godly nature. And we all have that godliness inside of us at some level. And so it's always a balance of one or the other. And who we are at our deepest level is definitely good. I agree with you on that. Yeah.

And I. And I think we're taught to hate, and so that comes through with experiences. And we're not necessarily going to go that way unless we're shown that way. And so I think that's the direction we were going. There was so much hatred. All the stuff about racism and misogyny and all of these different things was really separating us because I don't know about you, but I really took offense to people saying that anybody who's of this particular race or color or whatever has to think this way. And that's not necessarily true.

It's not true. I've. I've hired and worked with many, many races and many, many different preferences, so to speak. And they're all good people doing the best they can and trying to make their life better. And I've been fortunate to work with so many people who do believe in good and who do believe in helping others, and they're open to whatever's going to help them have a better life. And that's what a big part of your program and your life is about.

Yeah, I mean, the idea is, is to get people back to their true self. And if they've been injured, you know, through experiences in their life, it's going to affect the way their mind sees the world. I sort of call it atmospheric conditions. So if you have the stormy atmospheric conditions and you filter through those, you're going to see the world differently. So once you can heal that and clear that up, then it starts to get them back to their true self. And you're obviously a big spiritual guy, as I am as well. That's how we're supposed to be. That's where we're supposed to operate from.

Absolutely. And everything in the universe fits into one of three categories, or there's three different elements. Our mind, which guides everything, and we use to improve our life and our physical body and the physical world around us. Second element. And then the third element, our emotions. That's really the one that I focus on because so many people already understand the law of Attraction through our thoughts and through our actions. But it's our unhealed emotions that know no time. They're bigger than time and space. And they stay within us until we go back and feel that original emotional Pain completely and let it go. And those unhealed emotions influence everything in our life. Our thoughts, our actions, our health, and as you say, the lens that we see the world through. And so for me, that's the most important part is to find a way to dig back in and heal those old emotional ones.

Yeah. And you talk about the third element and that. Do you have a book on that as well?

I do. I have a book that'll be coming out in March or April, and I talk about all aspects of the law of Attraction and clear down to the quantum level in simple terms. But everything that we experience in this life, for me and from what my understanding is for us to have an emotional experience. Now, the idea is to have good emotional experiences, but in order for us to have emotions, we have a mix of. Of positive emotions and, and painful emotions. And that's part of the human experience. And, and what we're taught at an early age is to deny our emotions. And we deny them and don't feel them completely. When we're not fluid within our emotions. That third element, the power of our emotions, gets blocked within our being, and so it changes our filter and our experience.

So you've been doing this for a long time. Tell us about what started you into this. What, what created the. That desire to help this way.

Well, until I was about 28 years old, I was a physicist and mechanical engineer and a business person. All left brain. Working as hard as I could, work as many hours as I could, trying to become as smart as I could, and I just hit a wall. I wasn't happy, and I couldn't accomplish more. And then 35 years ago last week, I met a woman named Maria who introduced me to the human, emotional, spiritual side of being here on the planet. And that opened my eyes and started me on a journey.

So that's been a long time. So just tell me some of the best things that you've seen and accomplished in what you've been doing.

Well, what I've accomplished is been able to attract great people to work with. As I became more emotionally clear, worked through my old issues, mostly anger for me, was a lot of it, and frustration because I was doing all I could. But the world didn't respond positively to my thoughts and my actions. So when I work through those wounds around frustration and anger and, and became more clear in my being, my thoughts, my body, my actions, and just my. The whole energy around my experience and letting go of those emotional pains, then as I became more clear, I was able to attract people to work with who are more clear. And it was snowball effect and, and I learned a lot from them. We grew a lot together. We were very open and vulnerable in sharing our experience from more than just an intellectual point of view. And as the group grew and we had more like minded people who believed in good, who believed in hard work, who believed in providing more value for our customers and going the extra mile, then I was very successful in the small industry that I was in as more and more wonderful people came into the organization.

How do you, how does your program work? Like what do you do to, to work with people?

Well, as far as being an author, this is my first book in the, and my first adventure into the public spiritual realm. So I've been working on, on myself for 35 years. I've been working on the book for four years. And what I'm able to do better than anything is to help people understand the reason to be open to looking at their emotions and their emotional wounds and healing. So I'm not necessarily at this point in time a hands on, tactical person. Here's the exercise to go through. My expertise is about understanding. And when we understand from simple human terms that, okay, God only interacts with us two ways. And the first way is good, love wins. So love always wins. We turn to love and we turn to good, we're always going to win. And whether it takes two minutes or 200 years, silly, but love wins. And then the second is the law of Attraction. And the law of attraction interacts with the three elements of our humanity. And that is again, our thoughts. Second is our actions. And the third is our emotions. So nothing is random. Everything that we experience is due to a reflection of our thoughts or actions and our emotions, whether our emotions are we're experiencing currently or our emotions from the past. Because again, emotions know no time. So whatever emotional wounds we're holding within ourselves, the law of attraction is obligated to remind us of those. And the way the obli. The law of attraction does that and follows through on this obligation is it provides irritations in our life to remind us of those ultimate emotional wounds. And if we don't understand, those irritations are gifts. And yes, I use the word gift. When we understand those irritations, our gifts, then we can dig deeper and we can heal ourselves and we can change the world around us. But as long as we look at the logical side of that irritation, we're always trying to change the outside world. And we're powerless in changing the outside world. All of our power lies within changing our thoughts, our actions, and healing our emotions.

Yeah. And I, I do something very similar. For example, I worked with a lady who had been on heroin for seven years. And when she came in to see me, she said the first thing she did when she sat down, she says, I told my therapist I was coming in to see you. And he told me to make sure that I'm honest with you. And I'm up front and I let you know I have self destructive behavior. And so I just smiled at her and I said, what would make you think you're self destructive? And she goes, well, I'm sticking a needle in my arm with heroin. You don't think that's self destructive? I said, no, I don't. I think you're trying to feel better. And I'll bet you when you stuck the needle in your arm, you felt better. She goes, well, yeah. And I said, that's what you were trying to do. The substance is destructive, you're not destructive. And you could see that nobody had ever talked to her that way. Right. Because everybody had told her, there's something wrong with you, you're broken and you're defeated. Right. And what I said is, addiction is not about your character, morals, ethics, or willpower. It's about pain. Exactly. Your mind found a solution to the pain and it coded it. And I say, the brain is just a computer, so it's going to code on how to protect you. I said, sounds different than what you've been told. But to put that needle in your arm, what your mind was thinking, your subconscious mind is always present trying to protect you. It found a way to stop the pain and then it coded it. And I believe addiction is a code, it's not a disease. And I said, so if you've got this pain and you stick the needle in your arm and the pain goes away, the subconscious that operates in the now you just solved the problem. It doesn't see consequences to that action because it doesn't use logic and reason.

Exactly. And in this, in the same way, I agree with you, first of all. And in the same way, in subtle ways, our conscious mind, our ego, the part of us that protects our body and, and propels us forward every day with motivation and the experience we have, the part of us that's human and not that godly part of us, it's designed to protect us. So it protects us from pain through addictions. It protects us through pain by also helping us avoid our emotions from the past. And that's the part that I get into and I really love is when we can occupy our mind and have it participate in a process of whether it's a breathing exercise or tapping or just walking in nature, then we can get in touch with our body and present moment time. And then we can work through the emotional wounds, and then our life improves. But the challenge is our mind is designed to protect us from that pain, including the pain we need to feel and release.

Exactly. There's a lady doctor, Anna Lemke, wrote a book called the dopamine nation. And what she says in that she works with the addiction world and said, you know, it's about this dopamine hit that they get. And I have a little different. I understand that, yes, that that is part of the process, But I sort of go back a little further. So the way I would explain it is if, Randy, if you and I were standing together and I started to shake your hand, and I started to squeeze it so hard that you were in so much pain. I mean, you got down on one knee, it was hurting so much. And I said, randy, if you just take a drink out of this cup, I'll let go. So you do, right? You take the drink, I let go. What's going to happen? You're going to get a dopamine hit. But is that why you took the drink? No.

In some ways, no, it's not. And I agree with that. And also, when we avoid our emotions because we learned it as a child, if I break my leg when I'm eight years old, then it hurts. And my dad says, I'll be a man. Suck it up. Don't cry. Well, it freaking hurts. Broke my leg or whatever happened, and. Or somebody made fun of me in front of a girl I had a crush on. Whatever small or large thing it is, if I don't feel that emotion completely at the moment because there's consequences. We don't understand consequences at that age. And sometimes I don't understand consequences at 63. But when we hang on to that emotion and we don't feel it completely, it stays with us. And then when it wants to come back up and be healed, when I'm 25 or 45 or 65, my brain says, I don't want to feel that pain. I'm going to avoid this emotion. And so the key becomes, how do we find a practice that works for us and everyone's different, that allows our mind to participate and guide us through something that takes us back to again, our body in the present moment and the emotional pain we need to Feel so that take a drink is a great analogy for anything I do to avoid and let go of feeling what I need to feel.

Exactly. And one of the things that I talk about too, is that we keep shaming these people, that there's something wrong with them. They're broken and defeated. And what I say is, there's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing wrong with your mind. I didn't have your pain. I've never had a drink in my life. Randy Never touched a drug once in my life. But I had no trauma. I didn't experience what they experienced. So that's why I said it's not about their character, morals, or ethics or willpower. It's about they want to stop the pain. And when do they want to stop the pain?

Now.

And the subconscious sees everything in now, so it doesn't see consequences to those actions. How did people jump out of the building at 9 11? Because logically you'd say, if I jump out of this building, I'm going to die. But when aren't you going to die?

Now, the decision, and it's avoiding pain. And if somebody doesn't want to burn up, they jumped out of the building. So something that I'm starting to get into more now is the same emotional wounds that motivate us to succeed in whatever way we succeed as an athlete, a business person, a musician, whatever that might be, eventually those become like an anchor that holds us back. And for me, the emotional wounds that drove me forward, the anger, the frustration, the wanting to get approval, eventually held me back. And as I was able to work through my own challenges and attract better people, then I found a lot more success. Like 30 times more success 40 times. But I had to learn and understand that diving into this pain would help me move forward. I had an epiphany very early in on my spiritual journey that helped me understand that when I heal the emotional wound, then the physical reality and my relationships around me would improve. And once I went through that a few times, then I got to a place where I accepted it and I said, okay. I got to a tipping point. And it took years to really get to that tipping point of, okay, I feel the pain, the irritation. I'm going to dive in and heal this. But in order to get to that tipping point where we automatically say, okay, I'm irritated, let's feel it. Before we can get to that, we need to understand it. And that's what my book is really about. My speaking right now is all about is it is worth it. To make those changes by feeling the pain and to dive in. And yes, it's going to hurt. But as soon as we heal any emotional wound from the past, that pain is gone. Love replaces it instantly. And we have to experience that five or 10 or 30 or 40 times before we say, okay, this is good. But as we have an understanding, then our mind can guide us that place more and more. And eventually we get to a place of seeing all the irritations as gifts, and then the road's easier. But again, my book, and what I try and share is it's worth it to be vulnerable to our own wounds. It's worth it to dive in and the pain will pass. And then what replaces it is so much more wonderful.

And that's what people have a difficult time doing. So they do try to avoid it, but it will show up. So it's going to show up in symptoms. And what I'm doing right now, Randy, which I think you'll find fascinating, is I'm doing a study and I'm going to publish the study will be published this year on how that unresolved trauma affects the way our DNA is read and transcribed. And so when we heal that trauma and we resolve that trauma, then the whole system adjusts. And what I found from my research is that this unresolved trauma affects the way the genes regulate. So the genes that regulate inflammation upregulate. That's a response to trauma, whether it's physical or emotional. If you started punching me in the arm, my arm's going to swell up. Why? It's to protect it. Inflammation isn't a problem. The problem comes in when it becomes chronic. It's not supposed to stay on, but trauma keeps it on because the inflammation stays high. So when the person still has this unresolved trauma that's looping around for years and years, once we get that trauma resolved, the genes that regulate that inflammation downregulate. And the genes that regulate the immune system had been down regulated. They upregulate. So now they become healthy. And so that's the way the system is supposed to work. But trauma keeps it in a loop of high inflammation, low immune, low neurotransmitters, low neuroplasticity. It's a response to the trauma, the valid response.

That response is a gift that if we understand it, then we can dive in and heal the trauma. And then a lot of the times, from my experience, the physical symptoms go away and that trauma is just, just a part of our being speaking out, saying, hey, pay attention to Me. And if we don't understand how to interpret that, then we can't break the loop.

That's right. When people come into me and they say, oh, I have anxiety, I have depression, whatever they say, I say, well, no, that's just a symptom, that's not the problem. But they will treat the symptom. Oh, you have anxiety, we're going to put you on anti anxiety medication. That's not the solution to the problem. That manages the problem, but it's not a solution.

And trauma I've seen really subtle things that I've experienced create 60 years ago, 55 years ago, 40 years ago create problems in my life today. And they were subtle back then. Very subtle things. Somebody made fun of me, I was late to participating in something and I felt shame. And then today, if I'm not working through those small traumas, bigger events happen in my life, bigger to remind me of those small traumas. So we didn't have to have a very traumatic childhood in order to feel trauma as a child. Because if I'm 6 or 8 or say I'm 17 years old, my, my biggest epiphany was when I was 17 years old, a family member was drunk at a birthday party and they said to me, I wish you were more like your friend John. Now what they meant was, I really love you and I wish I could connect with you and I don't understand you and I can't connect with you and I understand your friend John and I wish I had that connection with you. But what they said was simply, I wish you were more like your friend John. And at 17, should I be an adult enough to say, oh yeah, it's not a problem, it's just somebody's drunken words. No, I said, okay, I'm going out into the world now and I have to get a job and I have to get along with people and I want to find a girlfriend and eventually a wife. And if my family doesn't approve of me, how is the world going to approve of me? So that was a really deep wound for me that I had to get through in time. And so I also go through today if I have anything that irritates me, somebody cuts me off in traffic, somebody cheats me in a business deal, even if it's for 20 bucks, that's a wound and that's a reminder. And I dive in, I say, okay, I gotta feel this. And I do, and I find it. And a lot of times it's really subtle. But when I can breathe through it, Just simply breathe the breathing, exercise in the present moment and work through it. Then those irritations go away.

Yeah, it's one of these that, that I talk about all the time is that this unresolved trauma is going to show up physically. I believe 80% of all the physical health issues that we're dealing with are psychological.

I think that's a conservative number, but it's a safe number. I agree with that.

Yeah. So 20% are physical. They could just be some sort of a disruption of the system, but most of it is coming from a disruption of the nervous system. And so if you're in a constant state of fight or flight because of those old experiences, that's going to affect the operation of the system. And a lot of people, they'll come in and say, well, I haven't had any trauma in my life. And so my second book that I wrote, I called Emotional Concussions. And you're talking about an emotional concussion. It wouldn't be perceived as a big trauma, but a young person who doesn't have a lot of life experience is going to interpret what they just heard. And so now they're going to make an assumption of what that means. And chances are, without a lot of life experiences, you're probably not going to get it right. Now, if somebody said that to you today at 63, you would have the ability to probably decipher what they were trying to get across, because you have enough life experience. But at 17 or 7, you definitely don't.

No, we don't. And I think if you take the 80% and put it together, the emotional part, trauma, and you put it together at the 20% physical, and you hit the course 100%. Any irritation, physical, emotional, otherwise is simply a message to us if there's something that we can look at to improve about ourselves. For me, any irritation goes back to some sort of emotional trauma, large or even really subtle. And when we get that, the gift of that message, then we have the opportunity to make our life better. And it isn't an easy thing. Emotions are something we don't talk about, especially as men. And emotions are something that we can override with our brain for a long time. So most people have no reason to look at their emotional wounds. I'll just stuff it down and I'll medicate or I'll ignore it. But that energy doesn't go away.

No, they're really blocking it. They're blocking. The way I describe it is the purpose of an emotion is a call for an action. Your mind is trying to get you into an action. The purpose of fear is to escape a threat. The purpose of anger is to attack a threat. However, the mind, if it's getting. If you're angry but you're in a situation that anger doesn't make any sense, I call it a glitch. Your mind is looking at old data in real time. That's the trauma, and it's trying to fix it. It wants you to do something, fight back, run away. Right. So when people talk about something that happened to them 20 years ago, then their heart's pounding in their chest. I say that doesn't make sense. Your mind is thinking you can do something about it. You should be able to run now, but you can't run. Resolve it.

Yes. Because if you start with the first, what I call the first, the three elements, they're in no particular order, but our thoughts are only in the present moment. So our thoughts have to stream like music. Music. You can look at a sheet of music, but it's not the same as listening to it. So we can observe in the present moment, in a flash, in a snapshot of time, but we can't think in a snapshot of time. So our mind is never in the present moment. And our emotions have to come through our body, and our body is only in the present moment. So as long as we're thinking, we are just automatically avoiding feeling our body. And we can't sense our body, we can't feel our emotions. And so our mind does everything it can to be in control. And it's. It's a. It's a disruption. When you have that glitch in the system, we have an emotional response, and every emotion is valid. It's a guidance system. Not in the way other people say guidance system. It's an instantaneous guidance system to move towards something that's good or away from trouble.

Right.

It's a valid emotion. And so if we're able to allow it to work, we work through it. And there's no glitch, there's no disruption. Then it moves through it. It's like gasoline. You burn it and it's gone. But you could store gasoline for 20 years and it'll still burn, and it'll still be a reminder of something we need to heal. And that's the way emotions are. They don't know time. And the glitch is the emotion is real. But my mind says, I don't have time for this. I'm going to be judged, whatever it might be. So we just clamp down and shut that off and start for later. But we forget later is here now and it's time to heal this.

Yeah, and I sort of have a similar approach, but mine is a little bit different than the fact that I say the emotion is a response to the mind looking at old data. So if somebody says to you, for example, there's a smell and you smell that, your mind literally does a Google search. What do we know about that smell? And then when it pulls up the old data from 20 years ago where somebody was in a fight with you or hurt you or attacked you and that smell is connected to it, your mind then pulls in the old data and says, oh, we're in danger. And so it then creates the emotion to get you into an action.

Can I reply to that?

Sure, yeah.

So the emotion we feel today, the that's caused by our remembrance of the situation and emotions from the past is valid because we're getting a signal something's happening, I need to be aware of and avoid. And that's a valid present moment emotion. But it could be in response to an either a healed or more likely an unhealed emotion from the distant past. So we smell this, this incense, this thing today, that we have a reason, a logical reason to fear. And we have a present day emotion. And at the same time, underneath that, where I think the real gift is, is that past emotional wound that we've stored in our being that knows no time whatsoever. And we'll re experience it today the same as we experienced it originally. So we have now two issues going on. We have the present day emotion, of course, the response that says avoid this, which is a gift in real time now. And we also have the gift of the past emotional trauma that we can heal. And so all these things are happening and people say, nope, I'm not going to feel. But it's such a gift to be able to understand and navigate our life when we do have these emotions.

Well, a lot of people just don't know where they're coming from. So I think we're very sort of closest to what we're saying. It's the same thing. I just sort of say that the emotion is more a response to what you're perceiving as happening now. But it thinks old trauma is real and so it creates the emotion to get you into an action to protect you. But it's a glitch because it's looking at old data, not current data.

I agree with that. It is a response today that is valid. But if emotions don't know, time and we didn't burn the gasoline, so to speak. That energy that we're holding from the old emotional wound then that emotion that seems like it's real today is because the emotion doesn't know the difference between today and the past. And emotions go back to. From my understanding, they go back to the instinctual brain. Before we really had our thought capacity evolved then everything was emotional, all the responses were emotional. And as our brain evolved, we didn't let go of that emotional response system and. But we never understood it along the way either.

Yeah. And I think like we're very close. And the difference is, is that I think some people and what you're sort of saying is the emotion is attached to that experience. And I, I say it's not attached to it, it responds to it.

Well. Okay, so I'm not saying necessarily that it's attached. I'm saying it is a result of that original experience. But the emotional energy itself, that was the result of the original emotional experience that energy somehow attaches to us. And I can't define it, I don't know if anybody really can. That's pretty advanced because it's bigger than time and space. But that emotional attaches to us, causes physical ailments, ailments in the body. And any way that we store it, whether it's in our physical body or just our energetic being, it's still there and wants to be released. And maybe we're saying the same thing with different point of view, but I think everything you're saying is valid.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying there's a right or wrong, I just. So I say that the experience creates the emotion.

Yeah.

And if the experience isn't happening now, you don't need the emotion.

So we don't need the emotion. But that energy from the emotion I believe is still with us. Because I've experienced so many emotions from the past and guided 30 or 40 people just that I know or me through re experiencing the original emotional energy there where they were hanging on to. And they re experience that emotional energy as if they were having the emotion, the original emotional experience in real time. So my, my experience of my own emotional healing and guiding others through emotional healing is that energy around the wound stays within their being until they're able to experience it completely. And when they re experience it, it feels like the same trauma from years ago.

And yeah, they're experiencing it in real time. And the problem is is as long as that is unresolved and it's going to continue to act what I call activate the nervous system. I never liked the word trigger. So when people say that triggered me, I said your body's not. Your body and mind are not negative and violent. Right. It's protecting.

You use the word reactivate. So I agree with you 100%. It's reactivating what's already in there.

And I say it just, it's activating your nervous system because it's trying to get you into a response to protect yourself about something that doesn't exist. That's what I call it.

I agree with that. I agree with that. And I believe that the reason God does that through the law of attraction is God wants us to feel love. God wants us to feel good. And if we're hanging on to that energy of the old emotional experiences, God wants that gone from our being. And the only way that we can release that, in my opinion and my experience, the only way we can release that is to go back and reactivate and re experience those emotions we didn't feel completely during the time of our original wound. And God wants us to let that go.

Well, God designed us to heal.

Exactly.

Our body and our minds to heal. All we have to do is get the mind to reprocess what it needed to resolve. I have a very different approach to depression. So when people come in and I say I'm depressed, I say, tell me what you're angry about. And they'll go, well, no, I'm not angry, I'm depressed. Depression is a function of the brain, not a dysfunction. The mind has not been able to resolve what it's trying to get done. So depression is the absence of emotions. You go flat because the action that's been calling for has not been resolved. So to protect you, it shuts down, stops calling for the action.

And my experience is that the mind can never resolve the emotional wound. The mind can guide us through re experiencing. And this is an area we might disagree, but that's great because I learned from you and I can share ideas that work for me. And so the mind cannot think its way through the emotional wound. The emotional energy has to be re experienced through the body in the present moment with our mind possibly observing or participating by guiding our attention back to our emotional body. But I have never been able to think my way through an emotional wound from the past. And I've been able to help many people re experience, reactivate that wound and feel the emotions in. In present time. And then they release it.

Yeah. And so whichever way the healing comes, there's Not a right or a wrong way. The key is to heal it 100%.

It doesn't matter. Whatever works for whoever works is the keys to heal it. Because again, God wants us to let that go. He doesn't want us to feel pain or a big one. For me, this last year has been working through shame. And I finally realized the reason I didn't want to talk about shame is because I had shame about my shameful emotional wounds.

Shame me, the shame. Yeah.

So I had shame about admitting that I, I had shame that I was still hanging on to. And once my mind understood that, then I was able to go through exercises to feel that and release it. But it was an interesting thing. And I think for probably for a lot of men, shame is a big deal because we're taught we need to be tough, we have to protect, we have to provide and just, I don't know, a thousand years ago, 2,000 years ago, tiny, tiny slice of time. And in the whole human evolution, we had to be able to kill a man with our bare hands to protect our family. And that's instinctual and that's real. We have to be able to turn off our emotions and deal with present day challenges. So it's a natural thing for us to do as men. Some women do it as well. It's not just men, but we as men have to be able to do that, to operate in the material world. And so when we're taught as children, hey, you gotta be, you gotta turn off your emotions. It's an easy thing for us to do as men. It's just natural. And so we have shame about that because when we learn when we're young that we still need to have that ability to turn off our emotions and if we don't have that ability to turn off our emotions, then the men of our tribe are not going to accept us and we're going to be thrown out into the cold and we're not going to survive. If we show any sense of emotions, we're going to die. And that's a real simplification of what we experience. But for a child, that thought process is real.

Oh, for sure. And when people, I talk about adhd, for example, when people say, oh, I have adhd, I say, well, tell me what you think ADHD is right? And they'll say, well, I just can't focus on things. And I said, is that true? Yeah, it's pretty much true. And I've given an example, a guy, very successful business guy, he's a genius marketer. And I said, how did you get here then? And he goes, well, I love marketing, and I love doing what I'm doing. I said, there it is.

That is the drug. That is the distraction.

So you got really good at what you like. And I said, but things you didn't like, which was stress. Growing up as a child, a child doesn't have fight or flight options. You and I, as adults, if we get into a disagreement, you can fight me or you can run away, but a child doesn't have either. So how do they protect themselves from the stress? They do this. They tune it out. They shut it down. So now, during the most formative brain development years, between 0 and 7, they train their brain to tune out anything that was not of help or of interest. Then you stick them into a school at 7, and you say, now you need to focus on that person at the front of the room. Well, they train their brain not to do it. So immediately they get diagnosed with adhd, and they put them on Ritalin, they put them on speed in order to now focus. They didn't need to do that. They needed to retrain the brain well.

And so in my approach to the world is they need to go back and feel the stress they felt at the moment. They need to feel the fear they felt at the moment about that situation of the world around them being unsafe and. And burn through that emotional energy that they've stored around that original trauma. And you're right, ADHD to me comes back to, what am I? What feeling am I trying to avoid? And when I can use jumping onto the next thing and jumping from task to task and multitasking to avoid feeling what I don't want to feel, then it appears to be effective. Now, I think multitasking is effective, but it's also a distraction.

Have you read the book Jim Kwik or ever heard Jim Kwik speak?

I have not.

He's sort of the world's expert now in memory. But I met Jim, and he went through my program with me, and one of the things that we talked about, he told his story, which was fascinating. When he was five years old, he was in kindergarten, fell off a chair, hit his head on a radiator, and then obviously he had a traumatic brain injury and had trouble focusing. So what happened was, is they said he can't focus, he can't read. So they had to sort of deal with that. So one day he was in school, and the teacher asked him to read something, and he was really struggling, and the other kids started to laugh. And he said. The teacher said, don't laugh at Jim. He's got a broken brain. And he says, at that moment, he said, I gave up. He said, that explains why I'm not very smart. And so he just went through the rest of his life as a child and even into adulthood believing that he wasn't smart and he couldn't read. So he struggled all the way through school. He says he managed somehow to get into college. And he said his roommate and him were talking. And he said to his roommate, he said, I've got to drop out. This is even harder than high school was. He says, I just can't do it. So his roommate said to him, he says, well, before you quit, he said, will you come back to my home for the weekend, and I want you to meet my dad. And so Jim agreed. And they went to his house, and his dad sat Jim down, and he said, write down for me, Jim, some of the things that you love, that you're interested in, that you would like to do with your life. And Jim's pretty reserved guy. And so he sort of writes a few things down. And the father picks up the paper to start reading it, and he goes, now, I'm mortified. I did not want anybody to read this. I thought he was just asking me to do it. And he says. And then he looked at the paper, at what I'd written down, and he says he has this library of books. And he says. And he went back and he pulled five books off of the shelves, and he gave them to Jim. And he says, jim, promise me something before you quit, you'll read these five books. And Jim said, I don't think he heard a thing I said, because I told him, I can't read one, and you're giving me five books. So he says, just to, you know, to get out of there. I said, sure, I'll do that. He says. And on the plane ride back, he took out one of the books and started reading it. And before he knew it, he was way into the book. And he said, that's when I realized school had not stimulated him. They didn't give him anything he was interested in. But when he found something he was interested in, he could focus. And that's what he talks about with memory. He's the world's memory expert. He can walk into a room with a hundred people and tell everybody their name after they introduced themselves.

I'm glad you got to tell the story. I know the story, but I forgot the name. And so for him, law of Attraction responded to his mind's idea of my brain is broken, and that's the experiences he was given. But once he was shown a different way and had a different understanding through that, that friend's father's help, then his mind took off in a different direction, built a different story. And a law of attraction supports our story, whether it's a good story or a bad story, it doesn't care. It says, this is where you're at. I'll give you more of that. And it really comes down to how do we change the majority or at least start to change our thoughts in the right direction of what we want instead of what we don't want. Because I Learned early on, 30 plus years ago, if I focus on a problem, which I was taught to do, I was taught, let's just say from society, focus on the problem, I got more problems. But if I started saying here's a problem and I focus on the solution now I get more solutions. And eventually when I have more and more solutions and fewer, fewer problems, then I had no reason to look at problems. Now in business, we have to identify the problems and fix them in order to improve, as on a person, on a, on a personal growth path. We have to identify the problems and fix them in order to improve. But we, if we stay focused on just problems, we attract more problems. Where this gentleman was able to say, okay, I can read, and yes, I do believe I'm capable, then that grew for him. And it's amazing what an expert he's become because it was important to him.

Exactly. And even my wife when I met her. So I had this idyllic childhood. School was no problem for me. It was easy. I, I had no trauma, no abuse. I had this perfect childhood. But my wife was growing up in a very violent home with a very violent father who was just a terrorist and had that whole family scared. So when I first met her, I was 18, I said to her, she said to me, I'm not a very good student. And I said, well, what do you mean you're not? And she goes, no, I can't. I could read a page on a book and I have to read the page again. And so the trauma that she'd experienced as a child had actually affected the genes that, that regulate neuroplasticity. So we've done a study that we're going to publish before the end of the year on brain plasticity and trauma. When we resolved the trauma, I had the gentleman who did the study with me, I had him, an independent Guy who could then give me the numbers. So it's not my numbers, it's his numbers he's producing. He'd be doing this for 30 years. He said to me, he says, I don't think you're going to get a big change in neuroplasticity with just this. He says, if you get a 10% change in plasticity, he said, I would think that's a home run. I don't think you'll get 10, he says, but I'll just give you the numbers. That's fine. 45%.

Yes, absolutely. Because our trauma infiltrates every part of our being. It's real energy. And for example, for us to feel good, the idea every day is to feel good, happy, joy, whatever way we feel that, it's emotions. And so we, if we are turning off our painful emotions, we're turning off our pleasure emotions. If our mind is busy protecting us from our painful emotions, our mind can't be present to do the positive things it needs to do for us, learning cognitive reasoning, whatever it might be. So it was so interesting for me as I started going through more and more of my emotional healing 30 years ago, just how I was able to. For one, my brain had less load on it, so I was able to be more creative. But also I was able to get into, get in touch with my intuition. And that's something that's really big for me. And we haven't talked about that at all here today. But there is a part of us that speaks to us from a higher part of our soul that's more connected to God. We are here as humans, and we're here as a. As a spark of God. Human beings and that being part of us that is so close, so much closer to infinite wisdom can give us guidance. But the guidance comes in so subtly, and it comes in without any justification. If I am coming to an intersection and I'm wondering, do I turn left or do I turn right? My brain will say turn right for two or three or a hundred reasons. And my intuition will say, turn left, and that's it. Because intuition, being from higher source, has to give us free will. So it doesn't come with justification. It just comes as a really quiet, subtle message. And we get to choose through free will whether we listen to it or not. So when we are more emotionally clear, not only is our mind, our cognitive thinking more clear and our memory better, but we're more tuned in with our intuition as well.

Absolutely. So intuition is a big part of what we talk about when we train. So part of the stuff when we go through our program, we have a whole series of audios on gratitude, intuition, joy and laughter, communication, all of those things that are all affected by trauma. And then we build codes up so we don't trust our intuition. Right. We're not joyful and we're not laughing because we've got so much stuff that our mind is focused on. And one of the things that I'm also showing too on the scientific side is it actually affects the mitochondria. And so I work with athletes, professional athletes, and we're showing that we can improve their performance. That's why I focus on performance. When we clear the trauma, people start making personal bests. And it's like you talked about earlier, it's the energy. So that energy, if it's allocated to fight or flight because you've got all of this trauma that's been running the system that's going to pull the energy that you don't have available for performance. And so I focus on performance and we see the results are outstanding.

Well, also deservedness can affect performance because if we believe we don't deserve to win, we don't try as hard and, and we self sabotage and deservedness usually is our sensing of who we really are at a soul level and how deserving we are is usually clouded by emotional trauma. And so when we work through the trauma now that that emotional trauma doesn't affect our deservedness or tell us cause our mind to tell a story about what we deserve or don't deserve. And it just opens us up more to the being of who we are at a more pure level without the disruption or glitch as you say, from the emotions of the past.

And you see it all the time, even in the highest performing people. So people who are performing at a very high level, people think that they're not experiencing it. They are. You take a look at a guy like Daryl Strawber. I've met Darryl and Daryl Strawberry, talked about every time he was at the plate, all he could hear was his father telling him how useless and terrible and what a loss he is. And just kept in his mind, that's what he hears. The guy probably had the purest swing in baseball if he could have got that stuff done. And what does he do? He ends up becoming a drug addict and alcoholic and took a career that probably would have taken him to maybe the best baseball player ever. And yet he still performed at a very high level.

Yes. And so I believe that our soul chooses points in time and particular wounds that will drive us. And maybe the reason he had such a beautiful swing is because he wanted approval from his father. And he was going to push himself as much as he could through his mind and through his body to become as good as he could. And so that wound pushed him to a certain level. And then the problem is, at a certain point it switches. And that emotional wound that drove us to perform then keeps us from performing to our best. So I think that it's part of the.

Plan here, part of the program of being human is the emotional wounds can drive us to a certain point, but then they become our limitation. And then we can overcome those emotional wounds, that emotional trauma from the past and heal it. Then we can move forward 10 times as much.

Yeah, again, I see it all the time and like I said, very high performing people who, for example, I had a lady, this is actually just the last week, and she went through our digital program not even one on one with me. And one of the things we say is come up with three experiences you've had in your lifetime that you would consider disturbing or traumatic, either the emotional concussion or trauma. And so she says, I pretty much knew because I knew I was going to do the program. I already had in my mind what I was going to use as those events. She says, but when I started going through the program and I got to that point where we're going to have to start working on it, she says, the first thing I wrote down was something I had never thought about for so long. And she goes, and she's very spiritual. She says, I just trusted. She says it was an event when she was sick. And she says, I didn't really think that was something that would be involved. I hadn't even really thought about it. But she says when she got into that event to start the process of clearing it, she's bawling like a baby. And she says, I had no idea that that was the start of all the things that happened to her. And it was really not feeling connected, right? That nobody really paid attention to her. And she like literally broken an ankle and was saying that. And the teacher came over and she says, and I've always been taught you just walk it off, right? And she says, I tried to get up and I fell down. And the teacher says, well, let me go get your mom, right? And then she's. I sat there for 20 minutes in pain, but I didn't want to tell anybody I was in pain. And then my mother comes and says, oh, just come on, let's get up. And she says, I, I can't. The mother says, do you mean I got to take you to the hospital? The mother was trying to get her to get up and walk like she should just walk out.

Came that away.

Right. And she says that was the biggest healing she's ever had. She didn't know that that was. And that had a disconnect between her and her mother.

And your process took her to a place where she's able to reactivate that, feel it in a safe place today. Myself, as a very strong, capable man, I've cried tears from the past many times. Not because I want to be weak, not because I want to be emotional, but because I want to release those old emotions. And sometimes that's the only way to do it.

Yeah. And that's what we do in our program. So I take them through a four hour process that the first couple hours are science and education. The third hours we're working on traumas. The fourth hour we're working on performance. And where do you want to go from here? And we have it online or one on one with me, we've just shot it in virtual reality. And then the next process is going to be AI so it'll be like an interactive where they can feel like they're sitting with me and it'll have all the information that I have and they can walk through it together.

That's going to be helpful for so many people. You're real today, right? I'm not talking to AI. This is Dr. Don, right?

I am real. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. It's going to get to a point. That's what they talked about at the event was at the Genius Network. How AI is going to change in the next five years. It's going to be insane. The growth that this thing is going to have and most of it the guy was talking about is. Is all really good stuff. It's going to change the way we live our lives. It's going to make us more productive. It's going to give us a lot more freedoms, you know, so there's a lot of really good things. But you know, the movies create AI as, you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger terminating everybody.

Yeah, you got to have a villain. But also it's going to help in medical. On health and medical. It's going to help a lot because it's going to be a. We're going to be able to accelerate different things through what we know about biological processes and such and do it in the computer rather than in A lab. There'll still be a need for a lab, but a lot of things will accelerate with healthcare.

Well, and the problem is, like, for example, my daughter. This reason I got into the program is my daughter had two autoimmune disorders, and they told us there's no cure for it. We don't know what causes it. And again, from my spiritual background, I'm like, no, God didn't create it that way. God has an answer. You got to find the answer. He just hasn't given the answer yet. And so I started going back and doing research and trying to figure it out. And I figured out, yeah, we can absolutely heal this. It's not something she has to live with for the rest of her life. And so after developing the program and taking her through it, she has none of those autoimmune disorders. They're both gone. And that's what I talk about. God designed us to heal. Why wasn't she healing? Because of the trauma she'd experienced that we didn't know about. So she had never disclosed to us this trauma she had between the ages of 6 and 8. And that's when I started connecting all the dots that showed up as physical inflammation. And then once we resolved the trauma, the inflammation went down, her immune system kicked back up, and it healed everything.

I agree. So in the book, I get into Heisenberg's uncertainty principle in simple terms, and it says how everything at energy level is waiting to be guided to a physical experience. And so Heisenberg has his uncertainty principle. If I had Randy's principle, it would be that I can say with 100 certainty, any irritation, physical, emotional, mental, otherwise goes back to trauma. It all goes back to trauma.

All back to trauma. 100% agree with that. It's all coming. And that's why I said 20% could be physical. It's just sort of a. A genetic defect or something that happened in that creation. But I believe 80% is coming from physical or coming from psychological, not physical.

Yeah. And I believe that that 20% that's physical is either the result of trauma that's manifested in our body, or it's a lesson our soul has asked for so that we can have a deeper experience and have more challenge. We're here to have challenge. We're not here to have just a necessarily perfect, wonderful life. And if you have had that and it's great, then that's fantastic. You're fortunate. But most souls choose, when they look at the pamphlet, they open the pamphlet up and they say, okay, what am I Going to choose for this lifetime. Oh, rejection, jealousy, physical ailments, whatever it might be. We choose these challenges because it's fun to overcome the challenges. Now, it's not always fun from a human perspective, but our soul enjoys these experiences. And when we can learn to see all the challenges as gifts, then our humanness learns to enjoy the challenges as well.

And like we said, I think that's what sort of guided me was that my spiritual belief that my daughter didn't have to suffer that way if I could figure out what was causing it. But they told us there's no cure for Crohn's. We don't even know what causes Crohn's. She's going to have to manage this for the rest of her life. And they cut out 24 inches of her intestines during four different operations. And when I started to look at it and I started connecting up the trauma, as I said, why aren't they fixing it? Why are they managing it? Because everything is current. You know, trauma is. You need to learn how to manage, live, and cope with it.

So what, aside from 35 years ago, aside from being attracted to Maria, who is a beautiful person, and I enjoyed the three years I spent with her, we spent together. I saw the world from the position of a physicist. And in science, it all comes down to energy. And she saw the world from a spiritual perspective, all from a perspective of energy. So when she started talking about the energy of relationships and the energy of interactions and the energy of how things change, then me as a scientist, I was sucked right in. Okay, I'm interested. But. But most doctors don't deal with energy. They deal with what's at a higher level, where even if it's chemistry, they don't deal with it in an energy level. They don't see that everything we're experiencing here is energetic. It's all illusion. It's all just a. It's all just a matrix. It's all an illusion that our soul has agreed to and our. And we experience as being solid, but it changes every moment from millisecond microsecond to microsecond at the smallest nano particle of. Excuse me, slice of time. The smallest nano slice of time. We're changing. And our body can change and we can heal, and we can find ways to use the energy of our experience to create a better life. And that's what you did for your daughter. And doctors don't want to talk about energy because they can't quantify it, and they can't Control it?

Yeah. Measure it. But you can't measure it. But you can measure it in a lot of different ways. It's a frequency. So the system communicates through frequencies.

But we also can't sell it. We can't charge for it, and we can't sell it. No.

And a lot of things, the current medical system is if you want to become a doctor, you go into a silo. So the silo that you're in is you may be an ear, nose, and throat specialist. You get no training in anything else. All your training is focused in that specialty. So you get some general knowledge to start, and then you have to pick a specialty and you become an expert in that. But what happens is, if you're an ear, nose, and throat person and somebody comes in with a gut issue, you have no idea you're experiencing the different.

And at the same time, if I have an allergy issue, very well, maybe a gut issue, and if I address my gut, then my ear, nose, and throat problems go away. And they're not taught that there's not enough time and bandwidth and the system doesn't allow for it. And it takes a lot of understanding. And there are practitioners who understand it from that point of view. There are some, but we're moving in that direction. More and more people are saying, okay, this is a bigger experience than my mind and my body, and there are energies that are bigger than my mental and physical experience, and I want to learn about them. And when we do and more of us do that, then it opens up the opportunity for a more holistic approach to everything in life.

And I think that's the future. But it's going to take a while to get to that, because it flies in the face of the current model, which is basically to just treat their issues and not fix their issues. And I'm not blaming the medical community because I think a lot of them are in that because they do want to heal people. But if you go out and you're a doctor and you've got your license through the ama, and then you turn around and say, I think they're wrong about this. Right. You won't have a license for very long.

Right now, the system fights it. And also we've become really good with regards to modern medicine and dealing with the symptoms, amazingly good. So we had the physical industrial revolution 100 years ago, 120 years ago, and that being the physical element of being our human experience. And then over the last 20, 30 years, we've had the intellectual information revolution. And now we have computers and we understand logic and reason so much better and AI and such that's evolving. But that revolution has happened or is happening. It's very solid, we can talk about it. But the next and the final revolution is really the emotional revolution. Understanding and being able to work through the emotional part of being human. It's not about controlling our emotions. It's about guiding and, and being fluid in our emotions and being able to have a deeper human, positive emotional experience. And that involves dealing with healing and trauma. And that's why I think it's such a, such a prominent subject right now, is it's time, it's time for the planet to have the emotional revolution and be able to let go of the baggage, heal our way through it and just have more wonderful emotional, positive emotional experiences.

I think we're on the cutting edge of the revolution that's coming. And what you're doing to help people is amazing. What we're doing the same kind of thing. I think that's the future and I think that's where we're going to go.

And it has to happen through people like yourself who understands the mind and the process the mind has to go through to guide us to that place of healing. And so the work that you're doing is 100% spot on. We have to think our way towards healing. We can't think our way necessarily, in my personal opinion, through the healing, but our mind has to be involved and our mind has to guide us. Better performance, whether it's our physical body or our physical performance, has to come through the work that people like yourself are doing.

Yeah, well, I appreciate that and I appreciate you spending some time and sharing your knowledge with us. If people want to get a hold of you or how do they, they reach you? We'll put some of the stuff, I think into the, the notes. But maybe you could tell us what the next steps are. If they want to reach out to.

You, the easiest way is through randyliman.com that's R A N D Y L y m a n.com and I have presence on Facebook and Instagram, TikTok and YouTube as I am Randy Lyman and so through I AM Randy Lyman YouTube, for example, you can see some of my philosophy there. And then daily posts on Instagram as well and Facebook. And so I'm trying to get the word out there that emotions are not something. Trauma is not something to be ashamed of. This is where our power lies in dealing with it head on.

Excellent. Love the message, love that you came in and shared your, your wisdom with us as well. And, and I know you're doing great work and continue your great work.

Than Don, what's up?

Go ahead.

I said thank you, Don. This has been a lot of fun. It's interesting to hear some of your stories and your perspective and to be able to talk about somebody who sees the world from a deeper perspective. That's what we all are headed towards.

And we keep learning. Right? So thank you again, and thank you, everybody, for listening to another episode of youf Must Be out of youf Mind. And there it is.