Dr. Jeffrey Gladden talks with a guest about honest conversations with partners. The guest shares how fear of upsetting their partner led them to hold back, hurting both of them. They learned that voicing even tentative ideas, without waiting for certainty, builds the openness relationships need.
I think one of the really key things is the idea that you guys were able to have to, or had the ability to have these conversations about that. Was there a structure that you used for that, or how did that go?
There are a number of different, I'm going to say tricks and techniques, but most of them, they really boil down to having the courage to say, hey, I have this thought, or I have this desire, or I have this question, and would you talk to me about it, and would it be okay? And because, and a lot of what I had to learn was honestly about myself, was honestly about being afraid to ask some of those questions or being afraid to make some of those statements because I didn't want to upset others around me. And most certainly not my life partner, right? It's the person you least want to have upset with you. But it took me a while to understand this. I was not doing either of us any favors by holding back information that we could have used. You know, by fits and starts, I've learned to do that. Just to say, look, I had this idea. It doesn't necessarily have to mean anything, but here's my idea.
