The oldest of six children raised in a religious household, the speaker learned explicit and implicit rules to belong in each community. Gendered expectations for the eldest daughter, religious prescriptions, cultural codes: every group has hidden rules you must master for safety, acceptance, and love.
And there were very detailed things that were acceptable and not acceptable. And so I did what any human would do. I set about to learn the rules of how to belong and to take on those roles that were handed to me. I'm the oldest of, you know, 6 children. There's some roles for eldest daughter to inhabit, right? I'm religious, and so there were some roles handed to me there. And so I I just kind of set about to learn how to be the best in that community that I could be. And anyone who's listening, you can identify some of the different communities that you're a part of, whether they're cultural or, you know, religious or community-based, that hand us these lists. Here's who you have to be to belong and to be safe and to get love in this community. Yeah.
