In this solo talk, Dr. Jameca Cooper expands on the second major trait she observes in women who grew up without fathers: a pervasive desire for male approval and attention. She explains that this need can surface in many everyday contexts—how a woman dresses, the way she seeks validation from a boyfriend or husband about her appearance, friendships, family interactions, work schedules, and parenting choices. The underlying cause, she argues, is the lack of paternal approval during childhood; without that early validation, these women feel compelled to secure it from men in adulthood, often sacrificing their own needs. Dr. Cooper contrasts this pattern with women raised with fathers, who are generally more comfortable without constant male endorsement. The video serves to help viewers recognize this behavior pattern and understand its roots, laying groundwork for therapeutic work with fatherless women.
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Hi, this is Dr. Jameca Cooper Cooper. Make sure you subscribe to this channel for more information on personality disorders, fatherless women, radical healing, racism, and reality TV. Today we're going to talk about fatherless women, part 2. If you go back and check out the part 1 video, I talked about one particular trait that I see in therapy that is more of a behavior or theme for fatherless women. And you'll also hear my description of what a fatherless woman is. So part 2, today we're going to talk specifically about the other trait that I see in women in therapy, um, who would be described as fatherless women. One of the behaviors, themes that I see with them is a desire for male approval and attention. So approval/attention, and this could look various different ways. So this could be a woman who dresses a certain way to make sure that she gets the attention of the men that she walks by on the street, or to make sure that she has the attention of any man that she approaches, whether that's in the grocery store, at work, or anywhere. Working out at the park. In her mind, it is her goal all the time to make sure she is getting the attention of the men around her. So how else could this look? This could look like a woman that is in a relationship with a man and feels that that man that she's in a relationship with needs to approve of everything that she does. So in other words, an example, that man would need to approve of her hair, how she chooses to wear her hair. That man, her boyfriend, partner, husband, would need to approve of of what she wears, the type of clothes she wears, where she shops. That man would need to approve of her friends, who she hangs out with, how often she talks to them, how often she sees them. Would also need to approve of how much she sees her family, how much time she spends with them, how she parents her children, everything. So this can be a trait that I see sometimes with fatherless women, and it looks differently. All women won't have the piece that I just described of needing approval from the man that they are in a relationship with in that way. It could also look like feeling as though you need to work a certain shift on your job, um, feeling as though you can't engage in certain outside-of-work activities. So maybe the man you're with feels like you're hanging out with your friends too much. So a woman who has issues stemming from childhood as a result of being fatherless could put her own needs and wants and desires aside to make sure that the man that she is in relationship with approves of what she's doing. Why is this a factor? It's a factor because when you grow up in a household or in a family without a father around, you lack and you always desire that approval and that attention. So fast forward, these women grow up, get to be adult women, and then because they never received that attention and approval from their father, years ago as a child. So now they feel almost, um, pressured. They feel like they have to receive it, they have to obtain it from the men that they are with because they didn't receive it as a child. So it's almost, um, insecurities that they carry from childhood as a result of not receiving this attention. But now as adults, they make sure that they, they obtain it from the men that they are around. In other words, they feel as though the man that they are in a relationship with has to approve of them because that is the right way. Now, of course, women who have grown up in their house, um, their households, or their childhood with their fathers think about things a little bit differently. Having their fathers around, they are more comfortable with not receiving male attention and approval. They are familiar with it, they've had it, it's no big deal. So it's not something that they seek out or thrive on, whereas for women who have not grown up with fathers, they seek it out and thrive on it a bit more based on some of the things that they did not obtain in their childhood. So hopefully that helps you understand that theme, that behavior that I see as a desire for attention and approval from fatherless women. Make sure you tune in for this channel for more videos on fatherless women, among other things, and make sure you subscribe. This is Dr. Jameca Cooper.
