Dr. Jameca CooperForensic Psychology Consultant, Emergence Psychological Services · Board Certified Counseling Psychologist and Forensic Psychology Consultant

Master The Art of Saying No: Delay and Swap Techniques Explained #SayNoGracefully #BoundarySetting

8 Aug 2025 · 1 min

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1:05

In this instructional video, Dr. Jameca Cooper teaches viewers how to set personal boundaries by saying no using two practical strategies: the “delay” and the “swap.” The delay technique involves asking for time to check one’s calendar before giving a definitive answer, buying space to consider the request. The swap technique involves declining a request while immediately offering alternative people who could fulfill it, preserving relationships and demonstrating helpfulness. Dr. Cooper illustrates both methods with a concrete scenario—being asked to join a church committee—showing how to phrase the response without committing oneself. The overall purpose is to empower viewers with polite, assertive language that protects their time and energy while maintaining goodwill.

Chapters

they want you to do. Tip number 1, the delay. So someone calls and asks you, like, ring ring ring, we're gonna act like that's the phone ringing, ring ring ring, um, can you sit on this committee and help with blah blah blah? You can say a church, it could be a church committee, right? So the delay strategy, the response would be something like this, um, I'm gonna need to check my calendar and get back with you in about a week or two. Number 2, the swap. So phone is ringing, ring ring ring ring ring, they're calling you. Hey, can you be on this committee? And again, church committee, right? Or whatever you want to put there, fill in the blank. So instead of giving them a direct, firm answer right then, you say, you know what, I'm not going to be able to sit on the committee. However, I know 3 different people that would be good for the committee. I'm gonna send you their names. See what just happened there? You didn't respond, or you didn't commit to something yourself, but