#146 Getting to your Best Mental, Emotional and Spiritual State with Matt Belair

The information provided in this podcast is educational and not intended to diagnose or treat medical conditions.

Dr. Donnie Wilson struggled for decades to solve her numerous health issues and heal her body. But with focused determination, she healed herself, and in doing so, she discovered the Dr. Donnie stress recovery Protocol. On this show, you're going to hear from doctors, nutritionists, and Experts along with Dr. Donnie, who will give practical advice and wisdom to help heal your body. This is how humans heal.

Hi, and welcome to how humans heal. I'm Dr. Donnie Wilson, and today I'm excited to interview Matt Belair. He is a performance coach who has a ton of experience in his life helping athletes, traveling, learning spirituality from different areas of the world, and now he's helping people to coach them on their life and their performance in their life. Thank you so much for being here, Matt.

Thank you so much for having me. It's great to see you again. You are on my show and I just loved everything you said. So it's great to chat with you again.

It's really fun and I'm looking forward to this conversation because, you know, this is the kind of thing that we don't all stop long enough to even have this conversation. A lot of times, you know, we're racing through our lives trying to get through our to do list every day, and maybe we might have a moment on the weekend or when we're driving, when we're like, am I really doing what I want to be doing with my life? And if I wanted to do something else with my life, how could I even do that? And so I just love that this is your area that you help people with. And so tell us a little more. First of all, like, how did you even find that this is what you were passionate about doing?

Well, for me, you know, I think what you said, too, is a really great beginning because it's interesting how people don't think about these things. And for me, it came naturally. I remember being in high school, and all my friends were looking at what university they wanted to go to, but nobody was talking about traveling or what they were interested in or what they were passionate about or what they wanted to learn. They were all looking for, you know, what's, like, kind of career that I could do and not hate, not love, you know? Yeah, I kind of like this. And then do that for the rest of your life. And I was thinking 40 hours a week, two days, you know, two days off in the weekends and, like, two weeks off a year. I know actually some places, like Finland, and I think around there, they get a lot of holidays, but in Canada, it's not very much. And I thought to myself, there's gotta be a better way. That cannot be all of my life. And so, you know, from a young age, I like martial arts, and I was always doing martial arts, which is the development of mind, body, and spirit. And then in my teenage years, I was always an athlete doing sports and skateboarding and snowboarding, and I started to look into things like meditation and enlightenment and consciousness and lucid dreaming and spirituality. And I was just very curious about these topics. And I was curious about the idea of who am I and why am I here and what the heck is going on on this planet. And so, you know, as a young man in 20, and I traveled to the States and I. And I went to this Internet marketing seminar because I figured if I could make $2,000 a month online, this is back in the day, before inflation and all the fun stuff we're dealing with, then. Then I could be almost anywhere on the planet. I could be in Canada, us, Australia. You know, I could live very simply and have enough. And so as I did that, I ended up in Whistler snowboarding and studying all these different things. And then I did that for a bunch of years, and I became a performance coach and ran snowboard camps over the world and started my first snowboard businesses and did okay. But then it became next time, for the next time, with a big travel. And so my whole pursuit was just trying to find the truth, you know, the deeper questions in life around spirituality, you know, who I am and who I came here to be and what I came here to offer the planet and just trying to unravel some of the deeper mysteries in life. So for me, it's just always been something I've been very curious about, very passionate about, and I've continued to pursue basically my whole entire life.

Awesome. It's. It's. I mean, I think it takes a lot of courage to. To do that, to follow that path. And it's along the lines of really, you know, a philosophical path, right? Of like saying, hey, who are we as humans And. And what are we. What are we meant to do? And what is this earth that we live on anyway? You know, because I know you have. I mean, you. You spoke about snowboarding and being out in nature. Do you find that nature inspires you?

Yeah, absolutely. I think that's a huge one. There's a book called Jesus and the Essenes, and this is. And I'll preface it, everything I say, you Know, I get, I go through so much information and I have so many podcasts, so like, you got to double check everything I say, but I'll just do it to the best of my memory. But I believe Jesus in the Essenes. It was this group of people that apparently knew Jesus was going to come back and whether you believe him or not, you know, just so you can take it for what it. But they said there's four ways to know God. One of them was through study, so you could read all the spiritual books, all the spiritual texts, everything out there. One of them was through self reflection, right? So meditation, deep meditation. The other was through a proper teacher, a teacher who's gone through the path. And then you go into that mentorship and you do all the things that you're supposed to do. And then the other one was nature. And you just spent stand out nature. In my time with the Native Americans, that seemed to really fit. You know, I was really big into meditation. And then one of my Native American teachers was like, why in the heck would you close your eyes and meditate on like a sunrise when you could look at it? And I was like that. It really does seem dumb when you put it like that and just open.

Your eyes and look at the sunrise.

You know, so there's, there's different tools, right, for, for what you want to go for. But I remember coming back to Whistler and there's a friend that I had who I wouldn't call spiritual or awake or aware or in any way. You know, it's kind of like a little bit crass and all these different things and kind of making crass jokes here and there. And when I came back after a few years, he was like, so on spot with a, on point with a lot of spiritual topics and just deep understanding and meeting. And I just say, hey, buddy, like, how did you figure this stuff out? And he said, you know, I just go out on my snowmobile almost every day and I spend hundreds of days in nature. So he didn't try to be spiritual, he didn't try to do anything. But he, you know, and it's hard to define what you'd say spiritual is, but there wasn't in my life. I've always kind of been like this. And there hasn't been very many people or friends that I could speak to about deeper topics, like, what do you think the meaning of life is? Why do you think you're here? What's most important to you? You know, how do we find happiness here? You know, what challenges or struggles are you going through? How do we live up to our highest potential? I like talking about these things, and that's why I started the podcast, because nobody would talk to me about it. And that's why I had to have guests like you on there, so we could go deep into these ideas and see how we could implement them into our own lives, to improve the quality of our life, but also improve the way we could maybe support our friends, our families, and the planet as a whole.

I love it. And you're just so everybody knows your podcast is. Is the master mind, body and spirit show, right?

Yep. And check out the episode we did, because it was awesome.

It was awesome. Thank you so much for having me. And, and to be able to. Because I. I think, you know, a lot of times, like, even people think, okay, an athlete, it's their. It's their exercise, it's their workout that also can become almost like a spirituality and a way of connecting with themselves. But that you mentioned martial arts, and I have. I've really been interested in martial arts in that martial arts tends to blend this concept of exercise with spirituality. In my book Master of Stress, I mentioned about Wu Wei, but maybe you can tell us a little bit more about, like, what is that concept of bringing exercise and spirituality together?

Yeah, that's a really important concept. And because I loved martial arts and Bruce Lee was one of my first mentors, you know, I wasn't alive, but I would study everything he did, and he said as from a young age. And so, you know, in martial arts, you have this side that is the mental, emotional, or spiritual or focus side. Right. And so I'm looking as a kid and like, how do they break these stones? You know? And then, you know, it can't be just their hand in the table. We. We use the force kind of deal, right? And so I was like, oh, well, there's this force that I gotta learn about, this mysterious, you know, Qi or Dao, you know, the. All pervasive force. And in regular sports, like hockey, they don't talk about that. Football, they don't talk about that. Volleyball, they don't really talk about it. And it just became normal to me because I was a martial artist. And so I applied these techniques to skateboarding and got really good. I applied these techniques to snowboarding and got really good. And when I would teach it to other people, they would get really good. And these ideas were so simple, like how to visualize a trick, how to focus, how to calm your mind. I remember going to Whistler British Columbia, where they have some of the biggest jumps in the whole world for snowboarding and skiing. They're anywhere between 60 and some of them are a hundred feet. And it's, you know, you're basically going top speed off these things. I remember the first time I saw one and it went off one, I was like, this is the craziest thing ever. Like, my friends, like, you just gotta go straight from here. And we were so far. Are you kidding me? Like, I can't slow down. So I was like, holy smokes. And I talked to these people that are amazing, and I. And they're like. They didn't even know how to quiet their mind. They didn't know how to visualize these. Their tricks. They didn't know how to do all of these basic things. And I thought, huh? How do they not know that? And that's what I began to integrate into my snowboard coaching, my athletic coaching, this mental, emotional, spiritual side that I learned through martial arts. But martial arts also has a very, very tough physical side. When I went to train with the Shaolin masters in China, and the reason why I did that, and I always wanted to do it, is because I'm curious about the limits of human potential. What are we capable of and of anybody that I know on the planet? Wim Hof comes up because he's doing all the crazy things in the cold and ultramarathon runners and things like that. But the Shaolin monks and breaking stone and brick and all that kind of stuff with their hands, I had to know if it was real and if it was a. If it was possible and how they did it. And before I went there, I trained at a professional MMA camp because I like martial arts. And I also want to be practical. You know, if I need to whoop somebody's butt, I would like the ability to, you know, know that it works and that it's. The technique should work and I should whoop their butt. And that's what UFC is for.

So when I went there, there wasn't one athlete, these guys are pro fighters that could break stone. There wasn't one, when I went to China that could do what these Shaolin monks could do. I don't know how they'd fare in a fight. You know, I don't know. But the thing is, the level of mastery and what these Shaolin monks were capable of far surpassed these elite mma, ufc, mixed martial arts athletes because they added that mental, emotional, spiritual side. And I interviewed Master Go, who could break stone with two fingers. And over his elbows and every piece of his body. And the training there was basically hard qigong, among many other things. But hard qigong is basically punching and kicking something hard. So part of the. I was. I was poking a tree, and in these trees, there was dent holes in the trees from. From practice. You had to punch the tree, you had to kick the tree, do all these different things. So that was hard qigong, conditioning the body to an absolutely insane amount of just stress and, you know, pain. And then you had the soft qigong, though, which was the meditation and learning how to direct the energy. And so merging those two things makes it complete. You can't have one without the other. If you want to achieve your highest potential, what your, you know, what your, you know, your highest ability is, because, you know, if you leave out one, like what Master Go said when he broke the bricks, he's like, I direct my energy, but he's directing his energy to these fingers that have been conditioned over years of time in the physical reality. So it's not negating one or the other. It's not like he's going into the dao with the Force and using all the Force to do this miraculous thing. It's actually quite simple, but it's just so ludicrous that you would never think it's possible. So I remember thinking, well, if I apply that kind of simple dedication to what was the most meaningful to me in this life, then there's no way that I could fail. I would succeed to some level, whether, you know, great success or minimal success. But as long as it mattered to me, that's still a success. You know, whatever that external measure is, it doesn't matter. And that's, you know, the same thing with the podcast. I didn't do it for views. I've reached 150,000 downloads a month. I've gotten, you know, censored and blacklisted to the point of almost zero downloads. But it's the journey of. My intent is to find quality guests that have something amazing to share, to teach people that can help improve the quality of their lives. That's my intent. And the result isn't up to me. It's up to me to do the best quality of work that I can over a long period of time.

Wow, that's a. That's such amazing insight, because it's true. Sometimes we think we've failed or we think that we're not doing enough, but really, what. How are we measuring that? We're measuring that just by some projection or perceived external.

Measurement that it may not even be real. But like, what you're saying is it comes back to what matters to us in the end.

A hundred percent, your own value system. And that's one of the keys, I think, when you're trying to do your life by design rather than by default, right? Whatever the matrix or the world is going to give you, it's like, no, who am I? What do I want to do? What's most important to me? What are my values? You know, what do I find important? How do I want to live my life? And you can figure that out, you know, but you got to start by asking those questions. And 90% of people have just never asked themselves the basic question then alone contemplate it, right? There's levels of thinking. You can think real quick for a second, then you could consider something, you know, for a few, but then you could sit and you could really mull over, you could contemplate, you could ruminate, you could meditate, you could, you know, go really deep into it. And that's where the good stuff is. And we're not really taught that, right? As you said at the beginning, I call it the task list consciousness. You wake up, the alarm goes and it kind of startles you up, like, get out of bed. And then you just start running through tasks and you say, I'm tired. Well, I don't have time for that and this and that. And the truth is it might be hard, but you have to make time. And if you can make a little bit of time for this self reflection, not complicated, it's just consistent, you can then steer your life and influence your life if you give yourself 10 years of time. And that's the other thing that I learned with the Shaolin Monks and other things just now. If I'm going to create a new project, once I know what it is and how passionate I am about it, and I know that's the way I want to go. 10 years. You want to start a podcast, give yourself 10 years. You want to write a book, give yourself 10 years. You Want to do change career, give yourself 10 years. Because the idea is like, you're never going to give up. And you could work your job and then do your side business of coaching or learning or education, and over time the opportunity will be there. I think there's a quote or one thing. I don't really listen to Joe Rogan, but I remember Jamie Foxx clip came up once and this one resonated with me. He said he always did music and he loved music and he was looking for an opportunity to do music, but it never really panned out. And then the Kanye west song or whatever, and he came out and he was able to do, like, some of the vocals, and he said he was just ready. He just prepared for that. And I just feel like that's a good example of just doing the thing that you love and it's gonna appear at some point.

And. And that makes so much sense. And it's. Would you say, along the lines of what maybe people call manifestation or law of attraction, or how do. How do you relate to what you're describing, to some of these concepts that are. Maybe people have heard of?

Yeah. So my first mentor was actually Michael Lozier, who wrote the book the Law of Attraction, and there's a few of them out there. And I've. I think I've read every single one. The science of getting more of what you want and less of what you don't. And I read the Abraham Hicks. I read his, and there's also one that a lot of people don't know about called the Master Key system, who is a. By Charles Hannell, who is a Freemason, which is very interesting. And so I read all those, and I was very curious about all those books. And, you know, I always. There's a couple of things I didn't agree with. Number one was they didn't talk about, like, the universal force, and not even I say the God force. And I don't. I don't. I kind of prefer God force. I like the idea that I'm created. Anyone can believe whatever they want. And I've been to the Parliament of World religions with Native American elders and studied a lot of different religions and spiritual concepts and Buddhism and with Tibet. And I just like the idea that I'm created something. Some divine force created me, and I'm here for a reason. That, to me, is much more empowering than, you know, I'm going through the universe, and I was created by nothing, and I'm evolving from a monkey, and it just seems meaningless. So whatever you want to choose is totally fine for you. But I think that this life moves towards a creator. So that said, that creative force has the trump card. It has the power. It could change your life in any kind of way. And so I really resonate with the. The Zen concept. I studied a lot about Zen, and I just like the balance of it where we are influencing our reality. Right. We are influencing to the best of our ability. We can use the Law of Attraction. So it's going to be. I like Michaelozzi's definition that simply says, the law of attraction states I attract more to my life. Whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative, that's it. So if you and I have never played ping pong, and you play ping pong every single day for four hours, you study ping pong, you eat, sleep, you watch ping pong every single day, and I only practice maybe 20 minutes a week. Who's going to kick whose butt after a year? Like, that's common sense. It's how this universe works, right? So you factor that in. Well, you've got the Creator saying, hey, you know what? This is not who you are. You're not listening to that inner voice. That's, that's how you talk to God. It's. You don't. I like what David Lombert, one of my Native American elders, taught me. He's like, you don't need a gatekeeper to God. That's what he told me at the Parliament of World Religions, you know. And again, whatever you want to believe, that's up to you. This is just my opinion and my perspective, so just take it for what it is. But you don't need, he's like, you don't need me, this Native American elder, to connect you to God. You don't need this priest to connect you to God. You have that direct connection. It's my opinion that it's that internal voice, you know, that, that, that little whisper that we have, and that that's why it's important to learn to be silent, to journal, to ask yourself important questions. And I really like the Buddhist frameworks of the Eightfold Path, which is, I don't know if I remember all of them, but it's right speech, you know, right action, right livelihood. And there's a few other ones, and it just kind of makes sense, you know, do I, do I want to be a good person? Do I want to be a powerful? What kind of person do I want to be here? And so just to consider those things and then to, to walk in that path, because the, the architecture of what the world or the Matrix offers you is, is by design for someone else. And if you look deeply at those designs and those systems, they're not set up for individual preferences, right? And they're not going to be set up for your highest and best experience as it relates to you. They're just systems. And so that's where the Matrix movie can be helpful, where it's, you learn the, the rules of what can be bent and broken. Right. And you, you learn how to navigate life a little bit more differently suited to your preferences.

It really is about navigating life, isn't it? I sometimes think that I have these moments of like, you know what, we're just all humans going through this life experience and figuring it out as we go, and how do we address the health issues that come up? How do we process experiences that we have? And I'm very curious because I'm also someone who loves to travel, and I've learned so much from different cultures, just like you, like you're describing. When I go to different cultures, I learn about their understanding of spirituality and the universe and our human experience. And I'm being able to then integrate that into the work I do to help people with their health. So I, I know you've created some techniques that you use in your, in your performance coaching, and maybe you can describe that a little bit. How have you taken all these concepts and put them into tools you can use with, as in your coaching?

Yeah, it's a, it's a great insight. I think there's a lot of value to traveling. There's a lot of value to listening to other people's perspectives. I learned something a long time ago called the formula for truth from a friend, and he does a deep dive on it. But the basic idea is that all information is simply that it's just information. And I have one, my perspective. And you have your perspective. So that's two streams of information. And if you plot that on a graph of X and Y, truth, let's say, is about 45 degrees, let's just say. Right. If you're looking at a graph now, when you share your information, let's say it's polar opposite. You know, God exists and. Or you think that it's an atheist, then we're just evolving from monkeys, right? Total opposite. You know, whether it's politics, religion, whatever, it couldn't be more opposite. What mostly we do is we defend our point of view, but we already know it. We know our life experiences, we know our past, we kind of know our memories. You know, we know our opinion. So we're usually defending our 45 degrees of information rather than opening up completely to the other person's perspective, to their point of view. And what that does, just imagine, not just one person, like, oh, well, there's their 45 degrees of information from their life experience, their belief beliefs, you know, everything that they've done and their opinions. Wow, that's just information that I've received now that I didn't have before, because I'm not that person and I didn't have to defend my perspective. So imagine you did that with every single person you met. How much more information would you have over a week, over two weeks, over a month, or over a lifetime? You would be so much more open. You would have a much greater degree of pattern recognition, a much higher acuity to discern the truth. Then you would notice these patterns. And there are patterns all over the world when you learn about certain things of success, of failure, of all these different ideas. So I just want to start with sharing that because I feel like that is just such a powerful perspective to have. And then when we're thinking about techniques, I love techniques. You know, I wrote a book called Zen Athlete, and it was all the best techniques around sports performance and sports psychology. But you can apply that to music, you can apply it to entrepreneurship, you can apply it to everything. It's basically a guide to mastery. I don't care what you want to master. Look at these principles and this will help you on the path to mastery. And the most important step though is a self reflection, a self assessment of who you are, what your values are. I like to ask people, you know, if money were no object, what would you do? If you could design your perfect day, what would that be? If you could get know everything in the world about any subject, what would that be? You know, if you could have any skill in the world, what would those skills be? And immediately master them and get close to your passions, your dreams, you know, what things in the world really bug you, you know, what would you change if you could change anything? What things fulfill you, what matters to you most. And getting very, very clear on that, then we go through the building blocks of how to create that. And then so once we're clear, then we look at the strategic side. You got your goal setting, you've got the mental emotional visualization and all those techniques, the law of attraction. And you also have the process of overcoming limiting beliefs. And a lot of people haven't done that. You know, the, the shame and the guilt and the childhood trauma that most people have that sabotage them. And in working with literally thousands of people over my life and my career, I can say that humans are, they're fundamentally dealing with basically the same issues, right? Childhood traumas, not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy, fear of abandonment, fear of ostracization. We're all basically the same, but we have to process that individually to get to the next steps. And once we can be really focused on, you know, that vision and we won't quit for anything. We do our self assessment, we go, you know, some people call it shadow work. You know, I, I think a lot of that gets missed. I think it's just understanding some of the blocks that we have and what, what we need. You know, if you have this recurring mindset and there's a lot of easy ways to figure out what that is and just process them so they're not unconsciously sabotaging you, then once you've done that, then you're free to work and take action and to do it in a state. And this is something that I'm learning and I'm always learning, and I don't have the answers for everything. I have answers for maybe a few things, and you just give them a try, you know, make it your own, you know. But I'm always right. That's a podcast is for. I'm always trying to learn and try new things. But if you can do it from a state of play, right? And if you can do it from a state of trust, and if you can do it from a state of faith, and I'm a believer in having a relationship with, with God and whatever that is for you, because it just, to me, it makes life more meaningful. And again, how to live in faith. When we have a dangerous environment, we're. We're worried about our families, we're worried about the government, we're worried about food, we're worried about whatever, right? And so if you look at, I think it's David Hawkins sometimes, I guess, that he does this map of consciousness in the consciousness scale. And if you also look at the Kybalion, it talks about the law of polarity. And so the highest levels of, let's say consciousness would be enlightenment, but also joy and passion and love. Those are at the highest human states of emotion, right? So when you're all the way down at fear and protection, you're not feeling good. Life is scary and you're not, you know, manifesting or you're not going into a flow state, you're not going into peace and ease, just peace. You just do, you know. On a scale of one to a hundred, how peaceful is your day? Well, shit, I'm in anxiety and stress. I would say I'm out of 30, right? So, okay, what can we do to improve that? What are the things that are stressing you out, right? And then you, you know, because you can actually.

Forward. So there's a lot of things that you can Do. And, you know, I think even just praying and getting clear and journal, you'll find your own answers. Whether you want to find a coach or a podcast. Just start journaling, talking to yourself, praying, find a connection and moving forward.

Absolutely. And I love that you're mentioning these, like, sort of the energies or the vibrations of these different states that we can be in. And I think a lot of times we assume that we have no control over that. And yet when we look at techniques, even like say, meditation or even just a gratitude journal. Right. Research shows that when we put intention into these activities, that we can shift into a state of gratitude, which is right there with love and joy, and shift our energetic state. And then the more times we do that, as you were saying before, like the more times we play ping pong just like that, the more times we practice gratitude or practice meditation in whatever form that a person chooses, we start to realize, oh, I can. How do I put my focus on something intentionally and how do I put myself into a certain state? Would you say?

Yes, a hundred percent. And that's a very key insight. Most people believe that they're a victim to their emotional states, right? So somebody cuts you off in traffic, and of course you have to get mad and flip them the finger and lose your mind, right? So basically it's an external stimulus that created an internal response, when the reality is you can control and mitigate those internal responses. And that's where our free will comes in, I think. You know, so if you're at the point in your journey, wherever, you know, you get road rage all the time, you know, when something happens, stop. Just take three deep breaths, right? Try to process that emotional anger. And over time, it'll. It'll start big. Stop becoming an unconscious habit, an unconscious reaction. You won't immediately go to anger. So it takes a little bit of time. And you can do that with anything. Right. That little space, that gap of in between, of, okay, how am I going to react to that? And then also to not judge yourself or be upset that you're upset. Be, you know, oh, I have this. Emotionally, I'm getting frustrated. That's okay. You can feel frustration. But do you want to act in frustration? Do you want to respond in frustration? You know, do you want to live in frustration? You know, I like Alan Watts, who does a ton of work on Zen, and I got his book, like the Way of Zen back in the day when I was living in Whistler. And I just saw it there. It was like a free book at the. They're doing like, with the table of free books. I pick it up, it's like, oh, this book is going to be awesome. I've read some books on Zed. This is one of the hardest reads I've ever had. And I had to like, have a dictionary with me. I was like, what? What is going on? Like, why is it so hard? A dictionary, every frigging paragraph, just to get through this thing, you know, it's so hard. So he was, he was brilliant and his lectures are amazing. They're still available on YouTube. But he said, you know, in Buddhism they say life is suffering, but what he says is more accurately, it's frustrating. Life is frustrating. So if you live in a rainy climate, you shouldn't be frustrated when it rains, because that's just what happens. So when you get up and life is frustrating, you, you know, maybe stop reacting to it in that way, realizing that this is a part of it. And you can build your mental resilience and you can decide, okay, when I see frustrations, how do I want to respond? Rather than these states. And that becomes a choice. And you can train your mind to have a different automatic response, but it'll take a little bit, you know, and you know, I even in learning all this stuff, I'm grumpy and reactive and. But I learned, you know, you just stay there for shorter periods rather than stewing on it, right? For you stub your toe at 6am and you're pissed till 9pm when you go to bed, right? So you can learn. It's like, you know, I was only pissed until dinner and then I let it go. Great, that's a huge improvement. Then I'm learning to let it go and let it go and let it go, right? So to be easy on yourself, to be kind to yourself is so important. I feel like so many people are just so hard on themselves, myself included. You know, if we can be a little bit more kind and a little bit more compassionate to ourselves, if our inner critic, to just be a little bit more kind, you know, to ourselves. And if we could speak to ourselves a little bit differently, you know, how we would talk to a loved one, how we talk to a child, how we talk to our parents, just to consider that, right? And to know that that internal dialog is just. It's not a real thing. You're the one observing it, right? You're the power behind that. So you give power to the thoughts when you take action. That's it, right? We all have crazy thoughts and it's our actions that's what we're gonna. You know, that's where a free will is, right? So I go to the grocery store, someone does something rude, you know, I was like, oh, well, I just learned this sweet, you know, kick to the legs and uppercut. You know, it's like, I could choose that or I could use this as let it go and walk away, right? So it's in the choice that, you know, that's where free will, you know, decides who we're going to be, how we shape our lives, how we shape our decisions here, and who we become.

I love that. And I love Alan Watts. I've learned so much from him, too. And. And I love this. You know, just how to create that space. You know, a lot of times I talk patients through that, too. You know, how to find a space where you can separate out the critical thoughts from yourself and really identify who am I? And then. And create a little space before. Even before the anxiety takes over, right. We can start to create a little space between ourselves and anxious thoughts. And. And it just. It does. Like you're describing, it just takes that, first of all, awareness that that's possible and then practicing it moment by moment. And I. I really do believe that, you know, like, in our childhood, still to this day, I mean, I hope this changes in the future. But for most of us who are adults now, in our childhood, we. First of all, we didn't learn any of this, and our parents didn't know any of this. And mostly we were told to. That we're not supposed to feel sad or angry, or we're not supposed to feel upset, and we would get punished even if we felt those things. And so just to acknowledge that it makes sense that we're only learning it now, you know, like, and. And I love this, where you're talking about being gentle with yourself, you know, like, it. You're only human, and we're all just learning as we go. So when you find that critical voice attacking yourself now, it's. It's just internalized trauma that's talking to you, but you can catch it, and you can notice it, and you can. You can shift it. And even within yourself, right here we are. Even on an external world you, like, you're describing, if you're at the grocery store, you can choose how you want to respond, and you can do the same thing inside your own mind. How do I. What am I noticing of my thoughts? And how do I want to choose to respond to them? Such powerful tools. Thank you so much, Matt, for sharing all of that.

Yeah, my pleasure. Well, that's the, that's the important thing, right, is just trying to improve little by little, but being okay with where you are. One of the things that I like to share with my athletes and people that I coach is it, you know, I started with athletics where you're trying to have like peak potential, like win the championship, get the gold medal, right? And so, or, you know, you're trying to do a transition in your life and become an entrepreneur or whatever the case is, you're trying to achieve this goal. Well, if you could be whole, happy and harmonious in the process, then you're doing it with power because the end result isn't going to make you any happier. Right? Like you get a Stanley cup or you get an Olympic gold. Well, you're like, oh my God, I just won the race. And like, yeah, woohoo. You know, you're just absolutely fired up, you know, and then you're on the stage, you know, you're fired up, right? Well, guess what? That's going to wear off in a couple days. You might get a homecoming, you might get some, you get this clout, but all of a sudden it's going to go back down to who you are. And then was all that years of work, it was all the process, the process of becoming who you wanted to be, achieving what you wanted and then the process after. So it's all in the process. If you can be whole, happy and harmonious and also from a performance perspective, if you are the one taking the game winning shot, let's just say basketball and you got to make the free throw, you know, LeBron James making the free, free throw for the win. If his whole self worth is on the line taking that shot, you have a lot more stress hormones, a lot more anxiety going through. But if he's like, all right, you know, I'm, I'm totally cool with who I am. You know, I'm choosing to make this shot and I'm okay if I make it or not, he's gonna have a far more likely scenario of making that shot.

Isn't that amazing? I love that.

Yeah, right.

That really just shows us like, okay, as we do, we think, oh, it's when we're gonna be most stressed about it, that we're going to be, we're gonna perform better, but it's actually the opposite. And I, I see that with health too, you know, like when we're most in the flow, in the process, then all of a sudden our health shifts so much faster. Than if we're constantly worried, am I doing it right? Is it going to get there? Am I ever going to feel better? Right. And so it's. I love that. And I. When you help people with performance, how does that look? So what, what might be common scenarios that people contact you about and, and how much time do you work with them? What does that look like?

Yeah. So over the years, it's, it's kind of changed for it started in sports, sports performance and then working with just kids and then running snowboard camps and teaching them all the stuff to Zen athlete and then higher performing athletes. So some nitro circus, a lot of extreme sports athletes, pro skiers, pro snowboarders, stuff like that. And actually a lot of freestyle motocross, the higher the consequence. Usually you'd want to work with me because for, you know, in basketball, if you miss a shot, you're not going to break both your legs at once. Right. But you might in freestyle motocross, you know, you're a lot more open to the mental, emotional, spiritual side because there's a physical consequence right away. And then through the podcast has been mostly helping people with knowing who they are and their life purpose. And so once we get clear on that, then we use all the peak performance mindset, spirituality, law of attraction, everything to create that. Right. But it's usually not what people think that's the hardest part. So the thing that I do, you know, mostly is helping people understand what they really want. It's not their life purpose as an end result, it's a direction. Then applying spirituality plus mindset and then overcoming some of those common blocks that we all have. And so it's either one on one and groups and I'm running programs, so I'm actually designing a new one this year. I just always kind of change it. So I did a group for two years where people ran, they go through a program, a program called Soul Compass. And then we all got together and it was a little bit of a mastermind. And so for me, I'm just shifting it a little bit this year because of all the things that have gone on. I've just noticed a lot more people in transition. You know, they've got the career, but then something happened and they want to shift out of the career or something happened where they need to reimagine everything. And so this kind of brings you from holy, like midlife crisis or the career's gone or I hate this, I need to get out. What do I do? And so we go from getting clear to what you want, adding those tools and then the peak performance stuff, you know, because the, I feel like the philosophy, it is most important because there's so many programs that are like 90 days and you'll get this. Mine is like, nah, 10 years maybe, but you'll be so excited about it. It might be three months, it might. But you won't give up. That's the important thing. You're choosing how you want to steer and live your life. And the result, it's not up to us, but you'll be taken care of. And this is how you actually see what I refer to as the God force or spirit. I've seen it in my life, my clients have seen it, where it wants you to do what you came here to do. I, the analogy that I use is like we're all in the forest, right? We all have our unique skills and abilities and what society does is it wants every beaver to be, you know, I say everything's a duck. You know, all the workers are different ducks. But a beaver wants to be a beaver. You know, a hawk wants to be a hawk and eagle wants to be an eagle. You know, caterpillar wants to be caterpillar. All these different things and we're all kind of pigeonholed into the same thing. But when, you know, the hawk is doing what it's supposed to do, when the groundhog is doing what it's supposed to do, they're going to be so excited. But when you're not doing what you're supposed to do, you feel terrible. And that's how most people feel. But they, they justify why it needs to be this way. And you know, whether it's taking responsibility and accountability for your family and making a living, I agree with that. I don't think we should chuck our responsibilities. And when you really know who you are, what you're capable of, and why you're making those choices, you'll know for sure if that's aligned. But maybe it'll be like a five year transition, right? And then you'll be ready for that next opportunity. So you can choose to go through and just say, you know, this is what it is, or you can choose to be proactive and it's just like someone who's out of shape. You know, if you're way out of shape, it just takes a little bit each day. You know, I can't give you a 90 days and lose 200 pounds, but I can show you the path to being very strong and fit in a year or two by changing the way you live, not going to the hospital and get liposuction. It'll work, but it's not really going to work, if you know what I mean.

Yeah. And I totally believe in that method of thinking, too. A lot of times I find myself saying it's about being committed but not attached to the outcome. And that's a. That's that tricky balance point. Right. How do we be all in and yet not like thinking, oh, this has to be in 90 days, or this is gonna look definitely like this. Cause sometimes by the time we get through the process, it looks different than what we thought it was gonna look like.

Yeah, a hundred percent. And that's a really great distinction. You know, committed but not attached. And it's just. It's being in alignment, right? It's being in alignment and then congruence with yourself and how you feel in this, you know, life. Right. You could get all the money in the world. And that's a lot of the people I work with, too, is like, you figured out the money, great. But why are you miserable? Or why are you still needing more money? Or why do you feel like you have no purpose? Or, you know, and then you can look at all the studies and the books on death. What people regret, they regret not pursuing the things that they love. Spending time with family, the really important stuff. And I don't know what this quote came from, but it's like you sacrifice your time for money and money for health and however that works. Right. You know, and so those are all the most important things. And if you decide that they're not great, at least, you know. Right. But I want to work with people who, you know, they want to do something meaningful. They want to contribute to the world. They want to have healthy, loving relationships. They want to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. They want to be good members of their community. They want to pass this knowledge down. They want to respect children and their elders. You know, they want to respect other people. They want to pursue the truth no matter what they uncover. You know, they want to be respectful to other people. And so, you know, that is hard. And this, this path is hard. This is way, way, way harder than getting a comfy job that's going to pay you the bills. I can guarantee you that it is way harder and it's way more rewarding. You know, I've given the example. I think. Let me think. Yeah. If I died tomorrow, like, I think I would have, like, you know, you do the life review, and I've interviewed some people who have Done near death experiences. I've had several. I've had like four. Got into my head, almost fell off a cliff a couple times. Uh, what was the other one? Yeah, machete. Some crazy stuff. But I remember the one. I was stuck on the cliff and it was bad. I had to get back down. And if I messed up, I was, I was dead. I was totally dead. And I just realized, I said, okay, well, I, I came. What I, I came or I did what I. The best I could. I kept figuring out, I kept asking myself, what's most important, what do I want to do? How can I help? All these different things. And I, I, I said, oh, yeah, I guess my work is done. And my actual, my, my partner was with me and I asked her, said, well, what did you think? And she goes, I had a, I had regrets. And the only distinction, the only distinction, I think with my life and my friends and everyone I've talked to is I just try to figure out what's most important to me and how can I take that and use that and contribute to other people. So, you know, at this point, the podcast, okay, there's like almost 600 episodes. That's years and years of work. At least something is, I'm proud of it. Like, it's not perfect. I'm, it's not the greatest podcast that ever was, but the intent that I had was pure and I did my best and did I slack and did I, you know, probably do stupid things and did I drink too much and Whistler and did I piss around? Yeah, I did all kinds of stupid shit. But, and I still do, but at least I have, you know, that intent. And my David Goggins are one of these guys that's like, you know, wake up at five and like, crush it super hard all the time. And, you know, no, I'm not like that at all. I'm just, I'm confused and I ponder and I'm just me. And I try to make peace with that, but at least I know that if I die, I'm trying. And I'm trying to think and I'm trying to be deliberate, I'm trying to be intentional. I'm trying to do my best. And I'm, and I'm asking and I'm praying and I'm reflecting and I think that's, that's important. And so when you do that and you begin to design your life on purpose, it's challenging, but it's more rewarding. And you do notice a God force, something benevolent is trying to help You, God wants you to do what you are uniquely made to do. But if you're like, well, I'll only do it if I make the same salary that I have now, well, then go have yourself, bud, because you're not, you're not doing it for the right reasons. Right. And it says in the Bible, and it says this in most religious texts, you cannot serve mammon and God at the same time. You cannot serve money or materialism and life itself at the same time. In Native American culture, they say, all my relations, what's the intent of what you're doing? Right. So, and that's one of the big issues we have in this world is people's pursuit on materialism. Right. We need the money. And that's going to be people's chains. It already is their chains. The new form of slavery for a lot of, a lot of years has been money. And we, we do need money. It's not to vilify money, we do need it, but it's the pursuit of money over everything else. That's, that's, that's the distinction and just.

Yeah, realizing how can we shift around our, our prioritization, our, our value system, our way of decision making, really? Because it comes down to what little, even the micro decisions we make each day, in each moment. Right. How do we making those decisions?

Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. And it's not, again, to be clear, it's not to vilify money, not to say that we don't need it, we do need it. It's just that, like, you know, you've got your business and you got it going. And then they say, hey, you know, you can 10x your profits if you do this thing that's a bit sketchy that you know in your heart when you hear it, it's going to harm someone else, you immediately just say no. That's how it works. You just, you know what, no, that is not an integrity with who I am that harms my fellow man or something. I'm going to choose this other thing. I'm going to have enough. I'm taken care of. But, but I need that new car, my old, my, you know, I don't have this. I need this next thing. And that's where we, we get distracted. And I feel like that's where we have a lot of people doing livelihoods that cause harm. And it's, you know, they can start to sacrifice their values. And I feel like potentially this whole entire human experience as I viewed it, could be this opportunity to not sell our Soul. I've kind of gone in my podcast some of the darker stuff. And if you've looked into, you know, Hollywood and things like that, like, I study propaganda mindset. So I knew about hypnosis and stuff in my teenage years. And I always wondered why we had war on starvation, how these systems are in place. Then I was studying mindset and then hypnosis and I realized, wow, they use mass hypnosis on people. That's fascinating. These are some of the techniques. That's why they don't work on me. Cause I know what they're doing. Um, but. Ah, crap. I lost my train of thought. I don't even care remember where I was going there. What the heck was I talking about?

I love. I mean, I think it's awesome anyway. And just to think, you know, that. That to become more aware of how people get influenced and sometimes as you become more aware of all of this, then we can see a little bit more clearly, you know, when someone maybe ha. Isn't coming from this place. And maybe that's part of your performance work too, is helping people how to navigate in a world of humans that some, you know, some have been doing this kind of work and coming from this place and others are not. You know, how do we. How do we navigate all in this existence together?

Yeah. And as you said that I kind of reminded my train of thought. Cause I go way, way deep up at the end of the rabbit hole. But the idea is that like, you know, when you're a kid and you, you know, I remember stealing a kid's dinky car, right. And then feeling horrible when I got caught. Right. But I should feel horrible for that because I did something that was wrong, Right. That's wrong to take other people's shit. Right. So as you get older in these different jobs, like, you know, maybe you're not doing meaningful work that's really helping people or you're not proud of it. Right. You know, so you think, you know, this goes against that. That feeling that I have inside. And so it's like this little compromising of who you are and your soul. And this whole experience may be. This is. I was getting dads. I appreciate you giving me some feedback. Not to sell your soul because they can. They can poison your food and your water and the television and education and every single thing. When you look into it, it's almost like upside down world. And when you get right to the root of everything, it's almost like upside down world. And you think, holy crap. I remember looking into War and starvation and then learning all this stuff about food and these guys, like, holy crap. Like, government trying to kill me. Like, what in the heck is going on? I thought they were supposed to be on my side. All right, well, they can't be trusted. Interesting. So it's like this and that's. But they can do all that stuff. But that feeling inside. What your choices. You're the only one who can go steal. I can choose to go steal that kid's stinky car again. I can choose a livelihood that does not contribute. And again, it's not judgment. It's like, I remember working in cars.

I guess it is judgment. Like, I'm judging. I think that's. I'm still learning the distinction on, like, judgment. Like, because someone was like, oh, well, because in my podcast field, I think it's important to speak the truth. And it's like, oh, I feel like you're. You're judging. And I was like, yeah, like, I judge.

A man beating the crap out of a small woman. Bad. You know, And I have a. I cross a line, I'll come over and I'll stop that if I can. So there is there. It's okay to judge. But, like, you can only make your own choices. I can't make the, you know, those choices for someone else. So I think that that's important. So I think, you know, at the end of the day, it's just important to realize we're making our own choices, and it's important to have our integrity. And I remember working in cars where you'd make a lot more money if you oversold the customer, and I couldn't do that. And I remember seeing people have this in this challenge with it, right? Some people were all about it. They were. They didn't even give a shit. You know what I mean? They would just oversell like crazy. I could never do that. But I could also see the people in between, and I think that was a soul battle. They knew in their heart to charge that much is not right. You know, it's just not right. Yeah, you get some bucks, you know, And I just. I never did. It's not right. And so I feel like it's that idea, right? It's very subtle. And over time, it's going to lead you to different results, and we can just simplify it. But the beautiful thing is when we're okay with what we have, when we're okay with. With our trust and relationship with God and what we do, when we are focused on right livelihood and we're proud of ourselves. And we have good quality relationships. We have a powerful mental, emotional, spiritual state. We have faith that this is a divine universe. Although all the craziness is going on, we're going to be more empowered in our decision making. And most importantly, when we die and we face that mirror on the other side, whatever that is, we're going to have less regrets. We're going to know that we did our best. We faced fear with, you know, a little bit more power. And we didn't just go along because it was the easy thing to do.

Totally. And I. Cause I think really too, what I. What I think about when I'm listening to you is how many people, I think, do feel lost in this life, in this existence. You know, like, we've. We've lost track of who I am and what am I, what is my purpose, and, and sometimes we have a moment in our life where like, wait a minute, who am I and am I really doing what I'm wanting to do and when that's where it comes. So if you, if anyone listening is having those moments where you're like, how did I even end up here, wherever you are, you know, and you're like, how do I actually figure out who I am and what I want to be doing? And that alone is a very courageous thought because it means that you're on the brink of creating change. And sometimes that's a scary place to be because I think that's where, like you mentioned, sabotaging ourselves. Sometimes we. We have that thought and we quickly stop ourselves. But if you are at that point where you're like, hey, you know what? Maybe something else is possible. Maybe something else is possible for my life or my health or for my family. And for. And I'm. I'm. I'm asking these questions and wanting to guidance along this path. Then. Then I think that's when I would, you know, I definitely would say reach out to Matt and get some input. And I'm also here to help. Um, Matt, one last thing is I. And I'm tempted to ask you about this because from my experience, where I've also learned a lot of this awareness about sort of our human experience and how to find ourselves and our purpose is through use of psychedelic medicines. Is that something that you have experience with as well?

Yeah, that's. That's definitely a deep one. I have experience with psychedelic medicines, plant medicines, ayahuasca, things like that. I. So the. I preface it to say that you have to want an honest change to do something like that right, people? It. I was. Because I did it years ago, before it became mainstream. And I believe it to be very powerful and very effective and very helpful. And there is a dark side to it for people abusing it, for not going in the right set and setting, for not being ready for looking for this magic pill. And if you treat it like that, you're going to get your butt kicked and it could actually cause you harm. So I like to preface, Preface that because I find like the, the new people, there's a lot of new young people. Just so. And that's why I did the podcast too. It's all these young, you know, spiritual Life coaches at 24 with no kids. You know, it's just like, you know, I.

There's something about kids that teaches us a lot, isn't there?

Yeah, you know, it's like, you know, I'm like, I've been doing this like my whole life and I've dedicated to it, and I still only know a little bit, you know, and I still respect my elders and what they have going on. So a lot of the kids are just like, they're glamorizing where that does exist. And, and, but that said, if you're. It's gotta be honest, it's gotta be authentic. You've gotta do it in the right way. And if you do that, they can be incredibly powerful, you know, even mushrooms with the right people. You know, if someone's never experienced that and you're like, holy smokes. But then you gotta be able to integrate it. And that's the whole thing about those. Whether you have an experience with God, that makes no sense because I know people have spiritual awakenings and all this stuff. Um, you could have that psychedelic spiritual awakening with, I believe, an honest request from God in nature, like with all of your heart in your mother effing soul. And you go into nature and you say, please help me. And if you don't think you believe in God, just try this one. Just imagine, just do a mental thought and think you're about to. You're in a car and all of a sudden you're on a high winds, icy. And if you don't have ice, just think about something where you know you're going to die. You're in a plane, sorry, if you fly and this will scare you or something else. And you just, you see death coming. You're like, oh, what are you gonna say? Just think about what you say. You see it coming. What do you say? You know, and you know, I, I Definitely. I can't imagine very many people saying, you know, I, mine is, oh God, please help, you know, you know, Jesus, please help me. I'm a Christian, you know, like, you know, I grew up a Christian. That's just my background and upbringing. But that's what I would say. I know it like, holy God, help me, you know, so, so I just find that fascinating. That that's my honest reaction, right? That's the one that comes up. I don't say Buddha, I don't say anything else. I say, you know, so just try that, you know, so this is an interesting thought experiment to, you know, go through. I got distracted again in my own mind just thinking about, that's okay.

I know. I, I'm just thinking that like you, I totally agree with you. Having experienced psychedelic experiences, I would say that then it becomes more apparent that we can experience those kind of moments when in meditation, in nature, like you mentioned at the beginning, even while watching a sunset, you can, you can have these moments of realization and self reflection and identifying yourself and your purpose, even without a psychedelic substance. And yet when we go through any of those moments or like a near death experience, it's a matter of how do we then integrate that into our life. And so if someone has been through something like that and you're now trying to reconcile what does that mean in my life? That's exactly when having someone like, like me and Matt to guide you to say, okay, what did you, what were those thoughts you had? What was that experience you had? And, and, and how do we help you to integrate that into your life? Because that's about the performance to me. Right? That's your performance is all about what are those next steps you want to take with intention.

Yeah, exactly. And I feel like you're bringing up something so important because it's the idea that, you know, psychedelics help you break the mold. People don't realize that like the mental conditioning and everything in the world is so strong from social. Once you're stuck in this mode, you feel helpless. So if you do like a mushrooms or a, an ayahuasca, all of a sudden that mental mold just gets shattered. You are just like, what the heck is going on? Which for people who are not ready will be a frightening thing. And for me, who was very open minded, the ayahuasca is not fun at all. It gave me the most beautiful wild experiences. However, it is also terrifying. It sounds like, you know, it's like almost communicating with God in a way. It's like you want to Be ready and you want to be sincere or you're going to get your butt kicked. And so it's so important. But what they can do is break the mold of the mind to open you up for the work that you need to do. And you know, when you go to do the work, I was just thinking about the idea of like the perspective that when you're praying with all of your heart and soul, that's that God is listening, you know. Because I feel like when people lose faith, they think they're, they're praying to nothing that, that you know. And I feel like it's almost a perspective where God exists or God doesn't in your view or life is benevolent or life is not, or there's nothing. There's no spiritual realm, there's no metaphysical realm, there's no dao, there's no nothing, there's no point. Or there is, right? And so maybe there is no point to this. Maybe there is no God. Maybe all could be, I don't know. However, I've experienced some stuff that make no friggin sense in my at all, you know. And so it leads me to believe that there is God. It makes me believe that there is a force, a dao, a spirit that I'm connected to everything that I was created from these experience that go so far beyond conscious word and conscious language. The best way that I can relate it to people is like if you were a goldfish and then the goldfish became, you know, he's still a goldfish, but he can speak English. And you tour him around for like 10 years as a goldfish, he's like in a bubble and you know, he's your homie and you teach him all this different stuff and it's like, all right, well when you know the next level of like, you know, after death, you're going to get to be a human or something. Even though it kind of goes into evolutionary idea. But he goes back to being a goldfish and tries to explain it to his goldfish, but it can't happen. It's so beyond comprehension. God in this existence, so beyond comprehension. It's beyond word. And so that's how we have to move in faith. And I feel like that's why this is a free will universe because we get to make the choices between good and evil and we all know the difference, we can feel it. And I feel like that's what this test is or this experience is, or this growth is. It's like, you know, it's really that, you know, simple choice, right in that it seems to be also really going towards the materialism versus you like a God, spirit, nature, life, you know, your community as well. So that seems to be the constant underlying, when you shake it all down, that's the underlying theme.

It seems like, and really like those have been the themes back in history. As you've pointed out, when we, when, when we travel, when we experience different cultures, we look at and study different religions, some of these same concepts were there all along. It's not like we're just figuring this out, we're just coming back in, revisiting some of these concepts and saying how do we apply it in our lives today and how do we help people to use these? I look at it as how do we use these concepts so that people can achieve better quality of life and longer life with the doing what they love, with the people they love. And, and so, you know, yeah, if we, if we ignore these concepts, maybe we're going to be less successful at that. But if we can take in all this information, integrate it and then apply it for ourselves, maybe we can be more likely to achieve that, that quality and length of life that we're hoping for. So. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this conversation, Matt. Really love that and, and everyone listening. To find more about Matt, go to matt belair.com I'll put the link and Matt anywhere else they should go. To find more about you. The podcast for sure.

Yeah, the website works. Thank you so much for having me on. I have a telegram and Twitter but I think yeah, telegram and website will let you get you where you need to go. But thank you for having me on. Thank you for the work that you do. I really appreciate you and being able to speak to your audience and I'll just leave them with, you know, one of the favorite spiritual teachings that I've ever heard was from my friend David Lombert, CinePass. And he said most people are so heavenly minded, but they're no earthly good. And he said do three kind acts a day. Go outta your way to do it and don't tell anyone. And for me it's my favorite spiritual lesson. You know, some people think if we all meditate it's a million people will shift the planet. Could be, I don't know. However, I would now at this stage prefer everyone if I could mandate anything. It's a three kind acts because it's spirituality in action. I think that that's a very important distinction. So thank you so much for this opportunity. I appreciate it and thank you for everyone who's listened so far.

You're welcome. So glad to talk to you and I look forward to connecting with you again soon.

Sounds good. See you later.

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