How Narcissism and Gaslighting Can Increase the Risk of HPV

Hi and welcome to how humans heal. I'm Dr. Donnie Wilson. On this episode, I'm going to be talking about HPV virus and the connection to narcissism or narcissistic abuse. So this is a really important topic, especially for women who are going through the process of having an abnormal pap smear, finding out that they're testing positive for the HPV virus. And some women who maybe have been dealing with this for years or even decades of their life, because the standard medical system does address the abnormal cells. A standard medical system will help you to identify and remove the abnormal cells using either a LEEP or surgical procedure. However, the standard medical system does not help you address the HPV virus. So the virus continues and can continue to cause abnormal cells to recur time and time again. And so, unfortunately, so many women are dealing with this silently because they. There's nowhere for them to speak up and ask for more help. And so they can literally be dealing with HPV virus and abnormal cells for decades of their lives and not getting help to actually address the virus. That's why I focus on helping those women in my practice. Because after helping women, thousands of Women for over 24 years, what I found is that it's absolutely possible to address HPV virus, get it to negative, and keep it negative over the long term. And the key to doing that is, is to understand and look for what's making those women susceptible to the virus. Because the fact is the human body can clear the HPV virus. Studies have shown this. And even the standard medical.

Approach will acknowledge that the human body can clear the HPV virus. So we just have to ask, why is this woman susceptible? Why are women susceptible to the HPV virus and address those factors. And you will find other videos from me and other episodes explaining how to understand what's making women susceptible today. I want to focus on one of the major susceptibilities that I find in the cases that I work with, which is exposure to narcissistic abuse. And so we want to start by explaining what is narcissism, what is, what is narcissistic abuse? Why is it associated with hpv? And to even start us off, what I want to make very clear is that there actually is research connecting HPV and narcissistic abuse. And I will put the references in the episode notes so that you can read the research if you'd like. But what the research shows is that when women are exposed to narcissistic abuse, they are more likely to test positive for the HPV virus and they are also at increased risk of cervical cancer. This is very, very concerning to me because first of all, narcissistic abuse is a terrible thing for women to experience and there's not a lot of help to help women recover from narcissistic abuse. So now women are exposed to two things that they don't have a lot of help with. They have an exposure to narcissistic abuse and they're exposed to HPV virus and neither one of them does a standard medical system really helped them with, which I think is why we're seeing such high rates of women experiencing cervical cancer because they are not getting adequate help with these conditions. That's why I feel so passionate to share this information and to share what I observe in my practice so that this information is getting out there. So the women do know they can heal and they can get help to not only get out of narcissistic abusive situations, but to actually recover from narcissistic abuse. This is not something that you're going to see out there very much. It's something that I've discovered through my work and something that I'm beginning to outline is how to help women recover from narcissistic abuse so that they can not only feel better and prevent other health issues, but also so they can prevent HPV related health issues. So let's get into some more specifics about narcissism in case some of you listening are wondering, what am I talking about? What is that? So to me, and there's a lot of different definitions of narcissism out there. There's even an official description of or definition of narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits in the mental health textbook. So you can refer to those. For me, some of the best ways to understand what narcissism is is it's when another, in this case, we're usually talking about humans, right? So another human is taking advantage of another human. So this, this is a classic case of abuse or bullying, right? Whenever someone is taking advantage of another person or even taking advantage of the situation. So when someone is thinking that they have more power over another person or entity. So if someone feels that they, you know, really where I come from is that we're all human and we all can relate to each other as equal humans. And I believe that that's the, the, the way of a, of a healthy human experience. So if someone doesn't believe that, if they believe that they have more power over another or more power over A situation, then that tends to be a narcissistic behavior, a narcissistic trait, or maybe then leads to narcissistic abuse of the person that they are trying to have power or control over. Oftentimes this happens in relationships with, like in a marriage or other partnership. It could happen in a friendship, it could happen in a boss, an employee relationship. It could happen in a parent and child relationship. So it can happen in a lot of different types of relationships that humans have in their life. Anytime where again, even, even now, sometimes people think, oh well, of course a parent has more power than a child. But actually that's that we know that that's not true now, that, that really children have their own autonomy and that a parent, if a parent is having more power or control over a child, but that can lead to an abusive situation for children. So think about it in that way. Is there, are you in a relationship in your life where there feels to be a inequality of power in the decision making? It can also be if a person causes the other person to question themselves, doubt themselves, and feel anxious or afraid in a general way or about their life and about their safety. So if, if you ever feel that someone in your life is say, criticizing you or saying things to you, that makes you doubt yourself, makes you doubt yourself as a human, as a, as a person, and maybe is criticizing you, maybe is also causing you to feel anxious, afraid, in fear. Right? That's assigned to me that there may be, there may be some narcissism happening in that relationship with this other person? Not always. So I always would recommend that you talk it through with someone who can help you evaluate and make sure that you're safe and make sure that you're not being, having your identity dismissed or questioned by another person, that's the next one. Is it often in a narcissistic relationship, there's dismissing of another person's voice, their, their choice, their autonomy, their needs and desires. So if you ever feel that your.

Your voice, your. What you believe to be true and what you believe to be necessary is being dismissed continually by another person, that's a sign that there can be some amount of narcissistic abuse or, or abuse in general occurring in that interaction or relationship. And the fourth that I wanted to point out is manipulation. If you feel that the other person is in some way manipulating you, saying one thing and doing another thing or saying something in order to get you to do something, that's called manipulation. And that is a common thing that comes up with narcissistic abuse. So if you feel that you never quite know whether to trust this person, they might be saying something untrue in order to try to get a certain response from you. That's a sign of narcissism. And it can be very confusing, as you can imagine, just from listening to this can be very confusing. If someone you're interacting with is. You never know if what they're saying is true, and you don't know if you can trust it, and you don't know then what to do from there in that situation. And so it puts you into a state of what's called cognitive dissonance. It's a state of confusion, of not knowing what's real, right? Because you're, you're. You're hearing messages that cause doubt, and then you're hearing messages that are not true. And then you might be choosing to try to please that person. This is another thing that happens in a narcissistic relationship is you end up attempting to please the person. So this is the classic walking on eggshells where you try to just sugarcoat everything. Now, sometimes what happens is because it's such a difficult situation and so much confusion happening and so much questioning of yourself, you may get to the point of feeling defensive. So I want to acknowledge that the person who is being abused can sometimes then be reactive and trying to protect themselves from the other person. And that then can cause the original abuser to accuse you of being the abuser, when actually what you're doing is trying to defend and protect yourself from the original abuser. And so that can get very confusing sometimes as well. And I want to just. If that's the case for you, if this is sounding like you're like, oh, this sounds really familiar, then I encourage you to definitely contact a therapist, psychologist, or even reach out to me in my office so you can start getting help with understanding what's happening in this relationship and how to help you navigate it and make sure that you physically are safe, but also that you're emotionally safe. Because what happens with this kind of toxic relating to each other as humans is that we become emotionally abused, where we lose track of ourselves, we lose a connection with ourselves, and we end up becoming more and more anxious, depressed, and susceptible to health issues, including HPV and abnormal pap smears. So that's why this is so important to identify and address. And I know that it can be very scary because when you're in. In that type of a situation, no matter what kind of relationship it is in your life, it can be very scary to first of all even identify that it's happening. To even talk to anyone about it and to think of doing something about it can be very scary. So I want you to just feel that you're not alone. And that's it. It's the, the thing about that type of relationship is it causes isolation because of that, because of the fear of identifying it and doing something about it means that you end up becoming more committed to maintaining the familiar pain and dissonance and confusion because at least you know what that feels like, the possibility of what does changing it, it seems more scary. So I would just want to acknowledge that for you and to know that there is help to help you navigate creating that change in your life so that you do not have to be continually exposed to that type of emotional pain, because that type of emotional pain can be detrimental to your health, as a lot of research is showing and as I'm pointing out here. So the other thing that I want to point out, and I want you to know there's help, and I do help many women to navigate this onto not only get the HPV to negative, but to recover from narcissistic abuse and to be able to really change your life in the future, to not have to be exposed to narcissistic abuse anymore in the future. Did you recently get an abnormal Pap smear result and test positive for hpv? Then I'm glad to connect with you. I'm a naturopathic doctor and midwife and I specialize in helping women to address abnormal Pap smears and get HPV to negative. And I would love to invite you to join me for a free online workshop. It's going to be a one day, two and a half hour workshop. I'd love for you to come and this way I can teach you what your Pap results mean and what are the steps you can take to help heal your cervix and get rid of hpv instead of just waiting, wait and see if it gets worse. So I look forward to seeing you at the workshop. The thing I want to point out that as I realized by helping women recover from HPV and recover from narcissistic abuse, what I started to realize is that the HPV virus itself is has narcissistic traits. And I think that that's really interesting and I want to just say it out loud because I think it may help you understand why the HPV is there. Right? It would make sense that a virus with nice narcissistic traits would Exist in your body, in your environment. When your body's used to being exposed to narcissistic abuse, it aligns, it matches up. So in order to help get rid of this narcissistic virus, we need to help your body recover from that. Because what happens when we're exposed to. Oftentimes women will say that they were exposed to narcissistic, a narcissistic personality or narcissistic abuse in childhood. And then the nervous system gets used to that chaos and stress and dissonance. And then they end up choosing relationships in their lives that are similar because that's feels familiar. So we end up choosing it thinking that it's correct. It's what our nervous system is used to. We get used to being constantly stressed. We get used to constantly thinking things are changing. We don't know what's going to come next. We don't know if we're going to be accepted and loved. We don't. It's all conditional, it's all changing. And that's a narcissistic environment. Our nervous system gets used to that. And so we continually choose that in our lives. And then the virus comes in because it's attracted to that type of chaotic, stressful environment. What I do is I help you to shift that, to actually recover from the stress. Rebalance your neurotransmitters, rebalance your cortisol levels, rebalance your microbiome even, which is completely. You could have a microbiome that's aligned with narcissistic abuse. And we shift it to hormones, nutrient levels, neurotransmitters, microbiome that's aligned with a healthy, balanced, peaceful state so that then when that happens, we get everything realigned. And I think most importantly, we have you. We help you to be realigned with yourself, to trust yourself, to know that you're important, you are worthy. You, your. Your message and your voice is important. You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve to have the information you need to take care of yourself. You deserve the time and attention and information so that you can heal. And as you start to learn that and take that in and choose in that direction of healing and support, you start to realign your nervous system with a whole new set of information. And you start to realign with yourself. As you realign with yourself and you start to trust yourself again and you start to believe that you are worthy, then things shift. Not only do you shift your life and your choices, you also shift the situation with hpv. HPV will not and cannot survive in an environment where you are aligned with yourself and you're making healthy choices. HPV will run and disappear because it cannot exist in that environment. It cannot exist in a person who has fully recovered from stress. So I want to go back to this point of HPV being a narcissistic virus. And I think those of you who, who understand narcissism will really understand. What I'm talking about is that, as I mentioned, these, these traits of narcissism, and we go back through them and think about the virus, it's taking advantage of a person who is depleted, right? The virus is when you're depleted and run down and your hormones are out of balance, this virus is taking advantage of that situation and coming in and causing abnormal cells, just like a narcissist, right? So it's a. It's a narcissistic virus in that it's taking advantage of you being depleted. It's also thinking that it has more power over your body than you do, right? This is your body, your cervix. And this virus is coming in thinking that it gets to cause abnormal cells in your body, right? So that's very narcissistic. It's also causing you to question yourself and feel anxious and afraid, right? As soon as you find out you have HPV positive, you're going to be like, why did this happen to me? Who am I as a person? What is it going to cause cancer? It causes all kinds of anxiety, fear, and doubt. That's the same as a narcissist, right? And it ends up making you more susceptible by doing that. It's also manipulating the situation. It's making it seem as if it's more important than you. So that's why I realized that intact, the HPV virus has narcissistic traits. And it matches up with the living in an environment and having a nervous system that's really, that's used to narcissistic abuse. And so what we need to do in order to heal and to get that virus to go away is to help your nervous system recover from narcissistic abuse and help you again rebalance and recover from that type of relationship and toxicity in your life. So I'm hoping that that really gives you some aha moments to be like, oh my gosh, that makes so much sense and no wonder that virus is showing up here, and I need to now take the steps to help my body to recover from the stress of narcissistic abuse. Enough is enough. You deserve to heal. You deserve to feel loved. You deserve to feel important. You deserve you as a human being. You deserve automatically as deserve those things. Every single human and your true authentic self already knows that. So when you start to listen to your true authentic self, it's going to know already. I deserve, I'm important. I am worthy. I'm worthy of healing and I'm worthy of protection from narcissistic abuse and worthy of protection from the HPV virus. So if this is resonating with you and this sounds like something that you've been through in your life, I'd be happy to help guide you from here. You can start by joining me in the next Heal HPV workshop where I do cover more of this and how to take these steps next steps forward. I also have an online program, say called say Goodbye to HPV where I guide you exactly how to take these steps. And I work with women one on one. So if you feel like you would need more one on one, you know, support, that's also an option. And these are all available anywhere in the world because I do not believe that we should be limited by time, space, location or, you know, situation. I think all women deserve access to this information and that's why I make sure to make it available wherever you are, we can make, we can figure that out. So please don't hesitate to reach out wherever you're listening to this from. And my office team can help connect you with the right amount, right support for you so that you actually can get the help you need. And it can be anonymous. If you say to us, I need to be able to have this anonymous, I need to be protected in my process. We will honor that because we know that so many women are struggling with isolation. Right? That's the other narcissistic thing about HPV is it causes isolation. Just like a narcissist. It makes you feel alone. It makes you feel you can't talk to other people in your life. How many women tell me that they feel like I can't possibly tell this other person this is happening or that I want to choose natural approaches because they might criticize me. And so that's isolating that HPV virus causes women to feel isolated. And I think that's one of the problems is then women feel so much that they don't know who to ask. Then time goes on and it ends up becoming worse. I'd rather you act now. I'd rather you say enough is enough. It's I'm important. I need to choose supporting myself no matter what anybody else thinks. I'm going to start making different choices today and we are here to help you do that. We want to be able to for you to know that you don't have to be alone and you don't have to be suffering from recurrent procedures and fear and stress because of HPV and that it is possible to heal and recover both from HPV and from narcissistic abuse. So I hope that this message brings you hope and inspiration and just knowing that you're not alone and that you are important and that healing is possible. I look forward to connecting with each of you and if this is your first time joining me at how humanskill, I welcome you to subscribe and leave me a comment or review. I would love to hear from you and I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.

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